Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Bedlam and Vertigo ❯ Mea Culpa ( Chapter 7 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

<p><b>A/N:</b> <i>About time I updated, huh? =P I was suddenly slapped by my Muse today and before I knew it, my writer's block was gone. =D Sooo, I finished another chapter of B&V! Hope you enjoy!</i></p>

<p><b><u>DISCLAIMERS:</u></b> FY is not mine. The characters are not mine. The story and the characters who are obviously made up, however, ARE mine.</p>
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<p><center><b><u>Bedlam and Vertigo: Mea Culpa</u><br>by Elcyion Pitye</b></center></p><hr>

<p>Tasuki was at a loss for words. Near him, Miaka was sitting on the ground of the now barren town square, her knees drawn up to her chest. Her eyes stared out in front of her, empty and disturbed. The bandit sighed and closed his eyes, defeated. He didn't know what to do with her. As much as he wanted to help his miko... he was just unable to make her feel better. Chichiri, who was maskless, was kneeling beside her, trying his best to comfort her by gently stroking her hair. The monk definitely looked troubled, and Tasuki didn't blame him.</p>
<p>The orange-haired seishi switched his gaze over to Kouji, who remained still with his head bowed over his dead relative. He hadn't moved from that spot since he found her. Tasuki (pulling Miaka with him) had rushed over to his friend after hearing his anguished scream.</p>
<p>Beside Kouji was Yamako, who had collapsed to the ground, staring at her only child's body. Her face was heavily stained with tears. The cousins were in stunned silence. Not too far away from them was Asa, who wasn't crying, but looked just as shocked as the rest of them. Her face screamed guilt, and Tasuki wasn't at all surprised. Of course, he himself couldn't believe this, either.</p>
<p>Not only that, like Chichiri, Kouji, Yamako, and Asa, he was confused as to how she died, exactly. He knew it was something of Miaka's world, but he just didn't understand how it happened. Not like he could ask her right now...</p>
<p>Tasuki took a few careful steps headed in Kouji's direction. The six of them couldn't stand out there forever. Being the one with the most composure, he had to be the one to take responsibility and to take control of things.</p>
<p>"Kouji," he said, his voice unusually soft.</p>
<p>His friend didn't move. Tasuki called his name again but got the same response. At this point, Chichiri stood up too. "Tasuki... let him be for now," he told the bandit.</p>
<p>"We let him be for a fucking hour already," Tasuki snapped. "We can't stand here forever. We need to do something."</p>
<p>"He and Yamako-san are grieving," Chichiri told him. "I know you didn't know Kiku as well so you were probably not hit as hard as--"</p>
<p>"DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!" Tasuki raged, getting in the seishi's face. "Don't you remember what happened with Chiriko and Hotohori?? Mitsukake?! Fucking NURIKO?? You think I don't know how what they're feeling??"</p>
<p>Chichiri was silent.</p>
<p>Leaving him at that, amber-eyed man walked up to the shaking Asa. "Asa," he said solemnly.</p>
<p>Upon looking at him, Asa's chin started to quiver. "I-I-I--" she tried to say, tears starting to form in her eyes. Tasuki guessed that it was starting to hit her. "I-I'm... s-sorry..."</p>
<p>Tasuki sighed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Asa, just listen to me. Go and talk to someone about getting a coffin--"</p>
<p>"I-I c-can't..." she interrupted, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I-I'm so-so-so sh-shocked--"</p>
<p>"Asa," he said more firmly. "Come on. Pull yourself together."</p>
<p>She bit her lip to keep herself from hiccuping. "Coffin... for her?" she asked in a strained voice.</p>
<p>"Yes," he said, nodding. "And find someone of authority... anybody, a guard, someone of the court... just somebody, and tell them what happened here, if they haven't heard by now. Chichiri and I will handle everything here."</p>
<p>She gulped. "Right." She turned around, giving Yamako, Kouji, and Kiku one last glance before running off to do her errand.</p>
<p>Once she was out of sight, Tasuki went and bent down next to Kouji. "Hey... Kouji."</p>
<p>The dark-haired bandit mumbled something under his breath, but Tasuki didn't catch it. "What did you say?" he asked.</p>
<p>"It's her fault," Kouji repeated, more audibly this time. Glaring with his tear-stained eyes, he turned toward Miaka. "It's Miaka's fault!" Before Tasuki or anybody else knew it, Kouji launched himself at Miaka. She didn't notice him coming at her until his hands were clasped around her neck as he tackled her to the ground. Miaka yelped in pain and struggled weakly against his grip, finally snapping out of her zombie-like state. "LITTLE BITCH!" Kouji screeched. "I'LL KILL YOU!" Holding her by the neck, he hit her head against the ground.</p>
<p>"Let go of me!" Miaka choked out helplessly.</p>
<p>"Kouji!" Tasuki yelled, racing over to him. "Get your fucking hands off of her!! NOW!" He struggled to pry Kouji's hands off of Miaka, only to be elbowed away.</p>
<p>"Enough!" Chichiri cried, grabbing Kouji by the arms and using all his strength. He looked at Yamako out of the corner of his eye and found that she was just standing there doing nothing. All she was doing was looking over at them with dead eyes.</p>
<p>Tasuki helped Chichiri pull the bandit off of Miaka. "Chichiri, keep him back," the bright-haired seishi ordered.</p>
<p>"Hai!" Chichiri replied, holding back a fighting mad Kouji, who was yelling and cursing to no end.</p>
<p>Meanwhile,Tasuki quickly kneeled down and pulled Miaka to him. "Are you okay?" he asked her.</p>
<p>Miaka gently rubbed her bruised neck and burst into tears. "I'm sorry..." she whispered.</p>
<p>"Sorry?" He raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry that... I brought him here." She bowed her head. "I... I had nowhere else to go and I didn't want to die... but it was a mistake, wasn't it? I... I killed Kiku....!"</p>
<p>He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself, Miaka!" he scolded. "You didn't kill--"</p>
<p>"She's right, you know," Kouji cut in, managing to shove the monk off of him. He marched over to Tasuki and Miaka, intending on finishing what he had started. Tasuki stood up and glared at his friend. "If you get near her, I will beat the shit out of you," he said firmly. He wasn't kidding.</p>
<p>Kouji gave him a hard push, causing Tasuki to teeter back a little. "Well, your bitch-whipped ass will have to do, then."</p>
<p>Tasuki was taken aback. Was this really his best friend talking? "Kouji..." he said warningly. "Stop it. I know you aren't like this."</p>
<p>"We have other things to worry about now than to place blame on anybody," Chichiri finally spoke up. "Do you think Kiku wants us to be fighting?" His tone was gentle but demanding.</p>
<p>Kouji tsked under his breath and backed down.</p>
<p>Tasuki silently thanked Chichiri for his words. He was about to speak again when he spotted Asa walking up to them cautiously, panting from what looked like a long walk. Her face was dry now; no more crying. A child-sized wooden coffin was securely tied to her back. She nodded in greeting, unable to look at Kouji or Yamako. Not like they would acknowledge her at a time like this.</p>
<p>"What's this about?" Kouji asked Tasuki.</p>
<p>"We're going to have a funeral for her," he explained quietly. "We better do it now before it turns night."</p>
<p>"She.... would've liked the sunset."</p>
<p>Everyone turned toward the previously ignored Yamako, who finally turned from her daughter's body to look at the others sadly. "Let's bury my Kiku... where she can see the sunset."</p>
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<p>Kurai sat on the branch of a tree, staring at the gun in his hand. He'd have to wait until things are calm again before he could make his next move. After shooting the girl, he had managed to run out of the town. Before he knew it, he was somewhere on the outskirts of the village, where there were less people around. And so, he climbed up to sit on a branch, hidden from view via the tree's shade. He hasn't found Tani yet, but he still had plenty of time. He licked his lips, hungry for sweet revenge.</p>
<p>"Tani," he whispered. "I'll get you yet." He pocketed his gun, remembering the time when he found her again after being institutionalized...</p>
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<p><i>"Ne, I'm sorry, but what do I do again?"</p>
<p>Kurai heard a voice coming down the hallway, outside his door. As usual, whenever he did hear someone coming down the hall, he peeked out of the little window to look out. At least someone of his mindset was granted a view outside his otherwise windowless room.</p>
<p>Fortunately for him, the female who the voice belonged to and the other person, most likely a doctor, had stopped outside his room, continuing their conversation. Kurai peeked out. He saw a receptionist-type person and...</p>
<p>Tani?? His eyes went wide. A brown-haired girl of petite stature with bright green eyes was talking merrily to the receptionist. It certainly looked like Tani, but didn't she die? Didn't he kill her?</p>
<p>Or maybe she didn't. He accepted this idea immediately without thinking straight, balling his hands into fists. People like her... they always come back.</p>
<p>"You just talk to some of these people," the receptionist told Tani. "Conversation. Why do you need to do this, anyway?"</p>
<p>"Oh... well, I needed to do community service. I got in trouble for something--"</p>
<p>"And you picked a mental hospital?"</p>
<p>"Haha, well, this place isn't too far from my school and where my mother lives..."</p>
<p>"Your... mother...?" Kurai whispered, confused. It didn't make sense, but just as well. She was trying to trick him, he knew it! "I'll get you... for always trying to outshine me and making me feel like shit all the time..." Kurai growled. "For making me be disowned..."</p>
<p>Finally, the two of them walked away, probably heading over to the living room of the facility, where many of the more capable patients hung around. He watched them leave and then went over to his bed to lie down, already thinking of a plan of action.</p>
<p>"Messed up in the head, my ass," he said to himself. "I can't think straight.... that's what they all think." The doctors had always put things like that in his files; that he was unable to think rationally and in turn, caused violent repercussions and that his logic was misplaced.</p>
<p>"I'm not crazy," he told himself. "Is it crazy to crave vengeance?"</i></p>
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<p>"Is it?" he muttered, as if talking to the leaves. "Is it crazy to crave vengeance? Is it weird to want to get back at someone? To make them feel as low as you did? Is it??"</p>
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<p>After Kiku's funeral, which was on a hill overlooking an extremely picturesque sunset, Kouji decided to stay in the guest room at Yamako's, so that the cousins could help each other get over the young girl's death. And plus, Kouji sensed that she didn't want to be alone at a time like this.</p>
<p>Asa had returned to her home, the guilt still heavily weighing on her. No sign of her making up with Yamako was in the future.</p>
<p>Tasuki, Chichiri, and Miaka returned to the bandits' headquarters, their moods somber and tense. They immediately went into their respective rooms, with no appetites and no words left to say for the day.</p>
<p>That is, until Tasuki decided to knock on her door that night. He wanted to check on her, to see how she was. She certainly had a very emotional day.</p>
<p>"Miaka?" he called.</p>
<p>"... Yes?" came the soft reply from the other side.</p>
<p>"Can... can I come in? I wanna see how you're doing."</p>
<p>"I'm fine. There's no need for you to come in."</p>
<p>Tasuki opened the door anyway. He found Miaka, who was still wearing that dress, sitting on the ground by the door, staring at the side of her bed. He shut the door behind him and kneeled down in front of her, giving her a small smile. "Hey, Miaka-chan."</p>
<p>"Tasuki," she said softly, unsmiling. "Why are you...?"</p>
<p>He patted her hair. "I wanted to see you." He scooted closer to her. But when he did, she started to cry. "Oi, what's wrong?" he asked.</p>
<p>"I killed her," she sobbed. "I... I killed Kiku. By bringing him--"</p>
<p>"That guy after you?"</p>
<p>"Yes, by bringing him into this world... I caused a lot of danger to everyone--"</p>
<p>"Miaka," he replied sternly, "I don't want you saying shit like that again."</p>
<p>She looked at him with confused eyes. "But--"</p>
<p>"Remember what happened... Asa took her to the square," he explained. "And lost her in the crowd. Then Kiku was..." he tried to find the word for it.</p>
<p>"She was shot by him," she finished for him.</p>
<p>"Yeah, shot by that man you talked about," said Tasuki. "It wasn't you, Miaka. And it wasn't Asa, either. We all knew that she lost her by accident, albeit a dumb one. But it was the man who shot her. HE did it. Not you and not Asa."</p>
<p>She didn't know what to say. She stared at the seishi before her, affecting by his small speech. He had changed a lot since she had seen him last, which seemed so long ago. This caring, sensitive side of him made her heart thump in her chest. "Oh, Tasuki..."</p>
<p>Tasuki smiled at her. "No need to thank me, Mi-chan." He ran his hand through her hair. His hand ended up resting against her cheek. He gulped, staring at her face as his heart pounded like crazy. <i>Miaka...</i> No doubt about it. He was really into her.</p>
<p>Next, the weirdest thing (weirdest to him, at least) happened. Miaka leaned forward, sitting on her knees, and tilted her head toward Tasuki, giving him the lightest of kisses. Tasuki stared at her in shock for five seconds before diving in for more of her. He pulled her against him, kissing her feverishly. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing back with the same passion.</p>
<p>Necking Miaka affectionately, he stood up, with the miko still in his arms, and carried her to her bed. He laid on top of her and kissed her neck, his hands roaming her body. She moaned softly in response. "Tasuki..." She gazed into his eyes, the amber orbs probably reflecting the same emotion she had at the moment. He grinned devilishly and unbuttoned the first button on her dress. After he did, he kissed the flesh exposed there. Miaka's passion skyrocketed. "Oh..."</p>
<p>And yet, in the back of her mind, she was thought of something. <i>Taka...</i></p>
<p>Suddenly she froze. Tasuki started to proceed with the next button, when he felt her hand suddenly clasp his wrist. He looked at her and noticed that dead look in her eyes. He furrowed his brows in concern at her sudden mood change. ".... Miaka?"</p>
<p>"I... can't," she said, pushing him off of her. "Taka...." She saw all of it again. All of her memories of Taka. Laughing with him, her conversations with him, those nights in bed with him.... his death...</p>
<p>She shut her eyes, forcing herself not to cry again. "Taka!" she called out. Her heart lurched. His untimely death was still fresh in her mind and she realized that she was still grieving over him. She felt so ashamed of herself. It was as though she betrayed him by having lustful relations with Tasuki, forgetting that she was still in love with Taka.</p>
<p>She gave Tasuki a hard shove and he was instantly off of her. With a confused look on his face, he watched as Miaka climbed out of her bed, took a few steps and then collapsed to the ground in tears.</p>
<p>Now he didn't know what to do.</p>
<p>"Please leave," he heard her say.</p>
<p>He turned to her wordlessly, seeing the bold, austere look on her face.</p>
<p>"Leave me alone, Tasuki," she said brokenly. "I don't... I don't want to be with you. Don't even talk to me anymore."</p>
<p>What? "I.... can't," was all he could reply with. Tasuki shook his head and continued quietly, "I can't leave you alone, Miaka. I--"</p>
<p>"Get out of my room," she said, her voice rising. She stood up on her shaky legs and opened the door. "Get out.... PLEASE."</p>
<p>Tasuki stared at her. He put his hand to his chest. He felt something painful there that he couldn't understand. <i>Was this... what it felt like to have your heart broken?</i></p>
<p>"Tasuki," she was practically pleading now, sobbing. "Get out. I can't look at you."</p>
<p><i>Why does she make me feel this way?</i> Tasuki wondered as he reluctantly stepped out of her room. He vaguely heard her shut the door behind him. <i>Is she going overboard with this? Am I caring too much?</p>
<p>Why...</i> It hit him that she didn't want him there. Anymore, he guessed. <i>Why does this hurt...?</i></p>
<p>Tasuki shook his head again and mentally kicked himself. He couldn't just be selfish. And he couldn't let himself become so soft like that. Miaka just needed time. She was in love with Taka, and it'll take her a while to fully get over his death.</p>
<p><i>So I'll wait. However long it takes, I'll wait. And I'll be her shoulder to cry on,</i> the bandit vowed to himself. <i>Even with what she said, I'll let her cry on my shoulder....</i> He was starting to fall for her hard, and he knew it. But now wasn't the time for romance, especially with a killer on the loose. Tasuki gave her door a small smile and started walking to his own room.</p>
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<p><i>End of Chapter. =D ... To be continued, of course.</i></p>