Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Crack the Mask ❯ Chapter 1

I woke up to the combined sounds of rain and buzzing. The rain was easily explained. It had been raining for two days straight here at Tombiki Clinic, and it looked as if it wasn't letting up anytime soon. The front driveway was completely flooded, and the backyard became an extension of the lake. Needless to say, it's been strictly indoor activities for the past couple of days.

 

The buzzing, however, required a bit more of an explanation. It came from a small alarm installed on my headboard. From there, it would be close enough to wake me whenever it went off. Time to get to work. Someone's been Dreaming.

 

With Dr. Ryoji's permission and encouragement, I had this alarm installed between my room on the first floor and Koji's room upstairs. While any Phoenix Child could sense when another has a Phoenix Dream, Koji's empathy made him extremely sensitive. Something that would slightly bother me while I slept would wake Koji up from a deep slumber. The worst the Dream was, we learned, the more it affected Koji. Dr. Ryoji taught Koji ways to shield himself from other's emotions, but I still worried about the possible damage to his own psyche from just having to deal with it all. To make matters worse, he had a nasty habit of not shielding, saying that he didn't want to “close himself off from people”. So, for his own safety, the alarm was placed so that whenever he sensed an upsetting Dream, he could alert me.

 

*Not that the system stopped him from still trying to console the Dreamer*, I thought as I switched off the alarm and swung my legs of the side of the bed, *That was Koji for you. Helping out no matter how much it hurt*

 

That night, I had a good reason to worry, though. We admitted a new patient earlier that morning, a young actor named Chuin. It was pretty obvious that he was used to a high class life, with the way he found Tombiki not to his liking. He spent most of the day complaining and criticizing everything about it, including the other patients. By dinnertime, I was annoyed enough to forget my professional manners and tell him off. Even Koji, usually unflappable, pulled me aside and confessed that he was very close to decking the snobby boy. I reminded him to keep his cool; after all, they had to share a room for the next two weeks.

 

I rubbed the sleep out of my functional eye and replaced my patch before throwing on my bathrobe and rushing out of the door. By the time I got to the elevator, I had the professional mask on, looking as professional as I could in boxers, a bathrobe and bedhead. It was starting to become a routine; I would arrive on the second floor, one of the doors would be cracked open, and Koji would be inside, comforting the scared Dreamer.

 

I hoped like crazy that it wasn't Chuin this time. I was afraid that Koji would try to be a comfort (no matter how he felt about him) and a fight would break out. Or worse, given Koji's penchant for harmless pranks, he would offer twisted form of “comfort”. As caring and helpful as Koji was, I knew behind those bright purple eyes reside a quick and devious mind. You don't survive a life in and out of orphanages, and stay in such high spirits, without one.

 

I couldn't help but smile as I thought about him. I'll be very honest, I find myself thinking about Koji often. He was the first patient we had after Juan, Kishuku, and myself became staff, so I had lots of time to get to know him. He was a great guy, warm, affectionate, quick with a joke and with an infectious smile. His little habit of bestowing near strangers with nicknames-I like it when he calls me “Cyclops”, that you very much-was cute in a silly way. Sometimes, I'll find myself thinking of him as more of a friend than a patient in my care. And with all of his teasing, sometimes even more.

 

*Jeez, I sound like some schoolgirl having a crush. Can't have thoughts like that about a patient, remember? He's underage, for Kami's sake...*

 

The moment I stepped on the second floor, I knew something was wrong. I smelled vomit and heard a panicked voice around the corner from the elevator. Following the voice, I first saw Kourin crouched over a body curled on the floor. Wearing pink pajamas and twin braids down his back, the 15 year old looked about 10.

 

“Kourin?” He jumped at the sound of my voice and spun to face me. The worried looked on his face confirmed my suspicions.

 

“It's Koji,” he whispered, “I heard someone fall outside my door. He was puking and moaning and he won't answer me,” Kourin's voice became more panicked. “I tried to move him to the bathroom, but he won't let me touch him. He just keeps jerking away...”

 

I knelt next to him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Koji was trembling in a ball, his olive skin scarily pale, his face screwed in a tight grimace. From clenched teeth I heard strangled moans. I reached for him, and before my hand could land, his body further folded in as his tried to move away. I noticed his shirt and boxers were stained by the contents of his stomach. A larger puddle lay across the hall.

 

“I think he's overwhelmed. Touching him is making things worse right now.”

 

Kourin slowly nodded, his eyes never leaving his friend. “What do we do? I've never seen him like this before.”

 

*Neither have I*, I thought. “First of all, calm down. It's not helping him as all if he can feel your panic. Take deep breaths and concentrate of being calm.” I demonstrated, breathing in and out slowly until Kourin matched me breath for breath. “Good, good. Now, could you go and get Koji a cup of water from the bathroom, please? I think he'll need it once he comes around.”

 

I watched him leave, glad that someone was here when Koji needed it. Though I couldn't help but feel a little jealous that it wasn't me that got there first. Koji and Kourin had been good friends since the day the young crossdresser arrived. The easy way the two were around each other, though both openly admitted to never being interested in the romantic sense (Kourin gave me the impression that he was saving himself, and Koji bluntly admitted that he liked his men a lot more butch, wiggling his eyebrows at me. Heh.), filled me with a bit of jealousy. I wish we could be that close.

 

I crouched low, as close to Koji's ear without touching him, and whispered his name, getting a whimper in return.

 

“Koji, it's me, Houjun,” I whispered again.

 

“Hou...jun...” he moaned. I sighed in relief. All he needed was to be surrounded by a calm presence, and calm was part of my job description.

 

Kourin returned from the bathroom, holding a Dixie cup. I reached for it awkwardly, not wanting to rise from my crouched position.

 

“He's going to be fine,” I whispered to him. “Go get some sleep. I'll get him to bed and clean this mess up.”

 

The younger boy frowned at me and looked over at his friend, before doing what I had asked him to.

 

Once the door clicked shut, I focused on Koji once more. “Hey, Koji. Everything's going to be okay. Why don't you just relax and open your eyes for me.” Koji's eyes fluttered open, revealing pupils so dilated that the eyes appeared black “Good, good,” I continued in my best “counselor” voice, “You're doing fine. Can you tell me what happened tonight?”

 

“Chuin...dreamt...it was too much,” We both winced at how parched his voice was. Understandable, if the vomit nearby was his, that his throat would be a little sore. His breathing was slowly returning to normal and color was returning to his cheeks. He was recovering quickly.

 

I sat up, Koji mimicking. “You want to talk about it?”

 

He took the offered cup of water and sipped for a few moments. I waited patiently for him to start talking. Koji then smiled and shook his head. “You know I can't do that. It's against my policy.”

 

Ah, Koji's “policy”. No matter how disturbing or upsetting someone's Dream was, he never gave details to anyone, including the Dreamer themselves. I've once guessed that he could sense more about everyone's Dreams then he lets on. It was humbling, given how frightening my own Dreams can be, that someone not only knew, but would keep them in confidence. That is a lot of pressure on one person, in my opinion, but Koji often reassured me that he was a “big boy” and could handle it. I feared for a night like this, when it got to be too much.

 

“Okay, fine,” I finally said, “Spare me the details.”

 

He sighed and sat back to rest his back against the wall. “Let's just say that I know why he's such an asshole. With Dreams like that, no wonder. He projected in his sleep and it got me real good. I forgot to shield before going to bed. Sorry.”

 

I shook my head. “It's not your fault. You're way too trusting, even to those who piss you off.”

 

“It was different this time, though. I think he's got the opposite malfunction as me. During the day, whenever he was pissy at me, I'd really know it. I hadn't had to really shield like that since I first got here. He probably can't control it when he's asleep or Dreaming.”

 

Little did he know that Dr. Ryoji had the same guess as he did about Chuin. “Reverse empathy”, he called it, and he wondered what would happen between Koji and Chuin during the next two weeks. I couldn't wait to report to him the next morning as to what happened.

 

“Just so you know, you don't have to remain roommates. I could recommend to Dr. Ryoji that Chuin be moved out earlier. I'm sure Chuin wouldn't complain at all.” I was pleased to get a grin at the last rueful sentence.

 

“Oh, no. I won't give Prissy Pants the satisfaction of scaring me off. He's stuck with me for two weeks, even if it kills me.”

 

He was back to using those random nicknames! I knew he was going to be fine, and nearly hugged him, mess and all. But that wouldn't be ethical, or at least, it wouldn't end ethically.

 

We sat in silence for a moment, in that comfortable vibe that comes with the relief of an adverted crisis. I wanted to hold him so badly, to enfold him in my arms and reassure him that yes, it would all be okay. Fine or not, nightmares are always pretty unsettling. He took one last sip from the cup and lowered it, lips parted in such a way that begged for an inviting mouth and-

 

And suddenly I had to stand up, reign myself in before I forgot myself and that tricky little patient/counselor relationship I was supposed to be maintaining. Besides, if I keep up that train of thought, he would pick up on it before long, and that's just not what he needed at the moment. I managed to get on my feet without stumbling.

 

“Come on, you up for a shower? You'd feel better.” We both looked grimly at his stained clothes.

 

“What, you're joining me?” Koji smirked, taking my offered hand, “That would make me feel a lot better.”

 

*...and he's teasing me again.* I fought to control the blush that was warming my cheeks. That was what he wanted to see, the blush, the bobble, me forgetting for a moment about our roles. I lost the blushing battle when he nonchalantly pulled his shirt over his head.

 

“Koji, what are you doing?” I sputtered as he walked over to the long forgotten vomit puddle.

 

“This isn't going to clean itself, and there's no way in hell I'm wearing this shirt again.”

 

I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry about it. That's what we have things like mops for. I'll take care of it while you get that shower.”

 

Koji shrugged and before I knew it, his boxers were at his feet. At my rather surprised stare, he simply smiled and replied, “What? You've never seen another guy naked before? It's ass in the morning and no one else will be up for a while. I'll grab them on the way back to my room.”

 

Logically, he had a point. It was early the morning, too early for any of the other patients to be awake. And I have seen other men nude before, but my logic quickly fuzzed over as I took a long, long look at the tanned body before me. I've only daydreamed about seeing him like this, slim and lean with a body of a runner. His chest was well defined (probably from all the basketball games) with sculpted muscles hidden under skin only slightly marred by a few scars from his rough upbringing and not a single strand of hair until well below his waistline. There it was, curly, so dark blue it was almost black, thick as a forest that lead to his--

 

*Oh shit!* I exclaimed to myself as I quickly dragged my eyes back to his face. It was too late, though. From the glazed look in his eyes, the part of his lips, and the slight blush on his cheeks, I knew that I was projecting my lust loudly.

 

“Like what you see, eh, Cyclops?” His voice was a husky rasp, “Nevermind, it's written all over your face.”

 

My mouth opened and closed for a bit, but no intelligent words came forth. I was flustered and in an extremely awkward situation. The mask had cracked. How do I get out of this?

 

“Very funny, Koji. Always the tease.” I couldn't trust myself with larger sentences than those. “You win. Put this on.” I practically ripped my bathrobe off my shoulders and tossed it at him. Suddenly, the pictures on Kourin's door became the most interesting things in the hallway, so I looked at them as hard as I could while trying to order my thoughts once more.

 

*Think calm, professional thoughts, Houjun. Calm, professional thoughts. No thoughts of how positively fucking gorgeous this young-young, mind you!-man is. Calm...calm...*

 

Koji silenced any more of my thoughts with his lips, pressing them against mine in a frantic kiss. They were so soft and pliant that I couldn't help groaning out loud, opening my mouth for his tongue. The kiss was desperate and hungry and despite myself, I craved more of his taste, his spice.

 

It had to be a dream. Dream Koji wrapped dream arms around my waist and pulled me flush against a dream chest as bare as my own. The spark of skin on skin contact nearly stole my breath. I shuddered when I felt his very naked erection rub invitingly against my cloth concealed one.

 

*He's just seeking comfort. That's it. Like a child who's had a nightmare and needs a hug.

 

This is some hug.*

 

“Hey, Cyke,” Koji whispered hotly against my lips, “You think I'm teasing now? You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this.”

His confession broke my heart. It was a pity, a damn shame that things were different here. I felt my senses slowly return to me.

 

“We can't do this.” Thankfully, my voice was steady, “You know that, Koji.”

 

“Why not? I'm completely consenting.” His tongue trailed a path from my lips to my ear, “And you seem to like it.”

 

If he kept that up, I wouldn't be able to resist him for long. I disentangled myself from his grasp, remembering to look him in the eyes.

 

“You know why not. You're a patient, and underage. I could get into so much shit for this. I'm not going to lie, I'm very attracted to you, but acting on it could compromise our professional relationship...”

 

“For fuck's sake, Houjun!” Koji shouted, pushing me further away. I inwardly cringed at the sudden use of my real name. “That's a completely lame excuse! You don't think I knew that you liked me already? Why the fuck do you think I'm always teasing you? Now you give me this 'compromising our professional relationship' bullshit? Don't you ever get tired of being so damn rational?” His eyes were blazing with anger and hurt, and it killed me to know that I caused it. I had to act fast, before I hurt him anymore.

 

I gave him my best “I'm an authority figure, listen to me” look. “Being rational is my job. Now go get a shower and go to bed. I'll clean this mess up. No one hears of this, not even Kourin, understand?”

 

I knew I wasn't being fair, but this was Koji. As big of a gossip as he is, when he knows a secret, he keeps it like the dead.

 

For the first time since I've met him, he looked properly chastised. He picked up the forgotten bathrobe, turned stiffly on his heel and walked away. I watched his back, praying for strength before heading to the utility closet.

 

“Your robe?” Koji's voice stopped me before I turned the corner. That voice, so serious and sad, twisted the knife in my gut. It took every bit of self control I had to not turn around, take him back into my arms, tell him that I didn't mean any of it, and kiss that hurt away. I kept my back turned.

 

“Keep it. I've got an extra.”

 

Silence answered me, and I briefly wondered if I sent the wrong person for a shower. I was in need of a cold one.

 

************************

 

The next morning found me in the group meeting room preparing for the morning session. Thoughts of Koji stole my chance for a restful sleep, and not even my third cup of coffee kept me from yawning. I'd been worrying all night.

 

I reached for the mug only to find it empty once more. Time for a refill. Falling asleep in front of the patients, while humorous, would be something Dr. Ryoji would frown on.

 

“Mornin', Cyclops!” a familiar voice called to me as I left the meeting room. I started to panic a little-What's Koji doing here?-before remembering that it was after breakfast and the patients were free to mill about.

 

I turned to return the greeting. Koji and Kourin were several feet away, dressed in gym clothes, all smiles. Koji spun a basketball on a finger, and held up Kourin's to transfer it. He looked so normal that it nearly worried me. I honestly didn't know why I was worried; this was exactly was I had asked from him, to pretend that last night never happened. Looks like we're both wearing masks today.

 

“We're gonna play some b-ball after your session. You think you and Kishuku can join us?”

 

Kourin giggled triumphantly as he successfully held the spinning ball on his finger. “Yeah, we promise we won't beat the pants off of you again.”

 

I would have killed to have been an empath for just a moment, to see what lay behind Koji's easy going smile. Maybe he was willing to forget what had happened. Maybe last night was just a fluke, or a silly prank. I'll never know, of course. Since I set the rules, I had to play along.

 

I returned the smile. “Sure guys. We'll see who'll beat the pants off who this time.”