Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Dreams Alter Reality ❯ Fragments of Memory ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Alright an update in under six months! How about that! I'm improving here... (I don't own FY, full disclaimer above chapter title)

Dedicated to my fiancee who I already call Wife. Sweet love, whenever I'm inspired, I think of you. We can only be so lucky to find love in our lives, like the full embraces Watase draws with devotion and wistful longing.. Love you....

Dedicated also to Miss KittyLynne, the best guru of Fushigi Yuugi writing I know. She always has something insightful to say, to uplift, to discuss. All hail to Banditscribe group! I know there's stuff in this chapter that will make her grin like the chesire cat I know she is. Hope the Maison Ikkoku descriptions open you more to that series.

Much thanks also to iluvmitsukake for reading this tale and my Yasha monstrosity. Here's to you! What do you think, huh? ^_^

Some author note stuff here....

The note about Toya's memory as a chinese opera actor was inspired by details of "Farewell my Concubine." That movie showed just alittle bit of some of the 'training methods' masters used on their actors when they were boys.

The scene with Keisuke and the others was written on a wave of gooseflesh. I love Watase's deeper writing, and tried to match huge proportional events with ordinary people. To me, that is what Fushigi Yuugi is all about. Finding yourself, overcoming all trials and doing extraordinary things for the world.

The second page of Genbu Kaiden volume one shows that deep, mythical connection I was trying to reach.... and about my theory in that scene if you see it.

Einosuke: Thank you for agreeing to show me this priceless document.
Chinese priest 1: I only hope it will aide in your writing. (and then...)
Chinese priest 2: Are you sure it was safe to show him?...
Chinese priest 1: No matter. It has no potency anymore. He's only a writer from Japan.

I found her theory before Watase-san openly hints at it finally in the prequel. WOW.... her writing is AMAZING....
I'm going off my own interpretation from what I've seen and read of the series, ova's and Eikoden. The Four Gods didn't seem to be in much control of what goes in the tv series, being summoned almost by the luck of their priestesses and other events. By the Oni Ova's, with their expulsion of Tenkou, it seemed they were gathering hold of the reins just alittle bit, by speaking out their wishes to be summoned to get rid of that demonic prescence.
By Eikoden, it's apparent the Four Gods have gained control in some way, for they sense the book's deteroriation and an approaching End. By pulling in Mayo, a nearby spectator, they wanted to save their world by using her strong feelings (even if they were negative feelings. Hey they were, and I like the kid!). So it just seemed to me, that the Four Gods have been in the background and slowly gathered control of their own power and world. So what would they have in mind? You'll find out :P


Disclaimer: the likenesses of characters in Fushigi Yugi belong solely to Watase Yu and all her publishing and animation studios. I don't own them at all! I only own the plot of this reincarnation fanfic, and the characters new names in this life. Also don't own characters and description of Maison Ikkoku.... that belongs to Takahashi Rumiko!



Dreams Alter Reality chapter nine
"Fragments of Memory"


Miaka looked at the characters on the folded scrap of paper, and then up at the numbers on the front of the building. The address Megumi had written down for her had taken her down a peaceful street where rows of boarding houses lay nestled next to each other. Each had a bricked up front yard, giving privacy from the street, and an open neat entryway to each lobby.

Miaka found herself warming to the idea of Tetsuo living in such a nice area until she stopped and compared addresses. The building that matched Megumi's writing was a run-down version of what she had just passed. The walls were faded and the front walkway was lined with huge spider cracks.

Her heart sank alittle. Miaka took a deep breath and forced her sandaled feet to carry her to the front door. A small expanse of green grass framed both sides of the cracked concrete, hidden from her view from the street. A dog house stood at attention by the front stoop; it and the front door had been freshly painted. A welcome mat insisted she come on in and bright drapes were pulled back from the lobby windows.

Miaka found herself smiling. Whoever owned the place obviously tried to make it presentable despite the building's age. Passing a neat block sign reading 'Maison Ikkoku', Miaka made to step out of her sandals in the entryway when a loud 'Woof!' stopped her in her tracks.

And Miaka came face to face with the shaggiest white dog she had ever seen. "Well, I guess that dog house wasn't just for show," she muttered lamely. "Uhm... good boy?"

She held out her palms, unsure of what to do as the THING lumbered closer, sniffing loudly. She had always been more of a cat person, being a favorite of Mitsukake's Tama. And her mother had simply never let her and Keisuke get a pet as their apartment didn't allow them. The shaggy thing trying to pass for a dog seemed happy enough to sniff her hands, and then proceeded to clean them with a long pink tongue. Miaka shivered, wondering if this was a doggy ritual prior to eating its victim.

The dog showed little interest in eating her, luckily, and slowly turned a circle to lay down right at her feet on the front stoop. Miaka found herself laughing, despite herself.

"Good boy! Good boy... you know I don't taste very good, huh?" Miaka urged. She glanced at the dog house where a named was carved into the ceiling panel. "Uhm... Soichiro?"

At hearing his name, Soichiro lifted his head and barked once. Miaka laughed and patted his tired, old head.

"What an odd name for a dog... well, it suits you anyway, you odd thing!"

Soichiro answered by laying his head down and snoring. Miaka stepped out of her sandals and let the dog begin his nap in the bright morning sun. Leaning inside the lobby, she looked to the halls leading left to a flight of stairs adn right to another hallway. Doors numbered 1 and 2 were right up front before her, and she had to assume the manager's office was around the hallway's bend, tucked in the rear of the first floor.

"Hello!" Miaka called out and stepped into the hallway. A few pairs of guest slippers were considerately left out and she hesitated, then stepped into a set.

"Hmpf"! a voice coughed from apartment room 1. Miaka waited, breathless, hearing bottles clinking and somebody roll over heavily, bumping into a piece of furniture. She stood, mouth dry, imagining the Swamp Monster rising up out of the floor or something as equally disturbing from Hiroshi's horror films....

"Hey! Somebody get the door!" a gutteral female voice called behind the door. It sounded raspy from sleep and scratchy from a habit of cigarettes. Miaka was about to turn around and just leave when loud footsteps scampered loudly from the manager's apartment. She felt some of the building's world shift to a scene of normalcy as a five year old girl skidded around the corner and stopped at her feet, panting as hard as Soichiro had.

"Hello, miss lady! Welcome to our home an what is it you want?" she grinned. Miaka stooped down, smiling. The girl was cute, with light brown hair pulled back into a braid, and clad in a yellow sundress that fell to her knees.

"My name is Miaka-san. Is your mama or papa here?" Miaka asked. The girl nodded, all business.

"My mama's the manny-ger, and Papa helps sometimes. I'll go get them!" the girl exclaimed. She padded back the way she had come and Miaka had a moment to herself. She hummed and swayed back and forth on her feet.

A groan sounded from Room 1 and an older, squat woman poked her head out into the hallway.

"Hey, whuzzut? You new or somethin'?" she slurred. Miaka sweat-dropped as she realized this was the owner of the voice calling for silence earlier and she appeared to be in the stages of "the morning after." Unless she had started drinking again earlier today as well.

"I'm Sukunami Miaka, and er... I'm here for Shinwa Tetsuo," Miaka said softly. The woman frowned and waved a hand in the air.

"Hah, what'd ya wanna see THAT punk for?" she dismissed.

"Mrs. Ichinose, really! Speaking badly of your neighbors, yet," a woman scolded. Her long black hair was simply tied back and she wore a sundress to match the girl's, who was presumably her daughter.

The girl stopped in front of Miaka and beamed. "I brought her," she said proudly. "Mama, this lady wanted to see you!"

The woman smiled gently. "Thank you, Haruka-chan. You did a wonderful job."

The girl, thus named Haruka, scampered back to the manager's apartment, giggling happily. Miaka bowed to the other woman and made her introduction.

"Sukunami Miaka."

"Godai Kyoko," she said with a twinkle to her eye. Miaka liked her already. "Tell me, what is your reason for coming to Maison Ikkoku? Are you here to talk about renting a room?"

"Oh, no!" Miaka laughed lightly. "Merely to visit one of the tenants."

"Nikaido's at his job right now," Kyoko mused. Her face turned a greenish hue. "Don't tell me it's Yotsuya you came for....?"

"No..." Miaka had no idea who Yotsuya was, but he sounded like someone to steer clear of. "Shinwa Tetsuo-san."

"The new college punk," Mrs. Ichinose threw in unhelpfully.

"Mrs. Ichinose, please!" Kyoko scolded. She smiled apologetically and led Miaka up the staircase. "You'll have to forgive my tenants, they can be rather, uhm, lively."

"I know exactly what you mean," Miaka grinned, remembering filched sweets and shouting from male voices, young and old. Her beloved schiseishi...

"And he's here in number 4," Kyoko finished. The two women stopped outside the door with a big 4 etched into the glass. "Tetsuo-san! Tetsuo-san, are you awake?" Kyoko rapped politely on the door and the two waited.

Tetsuo was inside, sprawled asleep in his futon. He was dreaming of large soft eyes and soft curves. His hands were all over the woman from the bar last night, grasping and exploring. He pulled her tightly against him. Miaka molded herself across the expanse of his wide chest, her hands between them. Those delicate hands ran down his sides and almost his flat stomach. His head leaned back dramatically, the tips of his longish hair tickling the top of his shoulder blades.

"Miaka..."

"Ahh, Tetsuo!..." Miaka had wrapped her legs up around his hips, holding onto his neck with her small hands. When gravity threatened to pull her down, Tetsuo's hands held her in place, as well as a certain bulge between them. Miaka gasped appreciatively against his neck, stoking his arousal to full peak.

This was his dream woman, the Miaka he had met last night, the one who would teach him the glories of living. And he would begin to live for her now....

Tetsuo dipped a hand between them to pull at the drawstring of his pants when....

CLANG CLANG---- "Tetsuo-san! Tetsuo-san, are you awake?"

"Huh!" Tetsuo sat bolt upright, and gazed around in confusion. Bright sunshine streamed in through the uncovered window and his right foot stuck out from under the comforter. His tanktop was halftwisted across his torso, exposing sweat-drenched flesh. Lean, taut muscles flexed as he raked his hands through his touseled hair. Damn.... only a dream. But what a dream!

He was still hard and he shifted his hips to alleviate the pressure of arousal mixed with having to pee. He was about to call out to Mrs. Godai when a shadow moved from the corner of his eye. Or rather, from the hole in his wall leading to Yotsuya's room...

"Get the fuck outta here, ya perv!" Tetsuo hollered. Yotsuya's head emerged from the triangular hole long enough to stick his tongue out.

"And what would you be doing that would call me a pervert for seeing?" Yotsuya asked poignantly and retreated back quickly when Tetsuo rained ammo at him. His alarm clock, textbooks, dishes, cups and other odds and ends were upended at one side of his room. The young man panted and looked at the door.

"Shit!"

Tetsuo made another swipe at his hair, making the ends stick out further. He tugged his sweatpants up higher and stumbled to the door. "I'm coming, Kyoko-san!"

He opened the door out of a dream and into a nightmare. A dream, for Miaka was there, before him once more! What was she doing here at his boarding house? A nightmare, for he looked a wreck before two lovely, mature woman.

Miaka only smiled shyly, not seeming to care about his disheveled appearance.

"Miaka-san! Ah, uh... that is...." Tetsuo looked from her to Kyoko and back again. "G-good morning..."

His manhood stretched to make a reappearance to the woman of his dreams. He coughed and tried to look casual with one wrist in front of his groin.

"Good morning, Tetsuo," Miaka said, a faint blush staining her cheeks. She hoped she wasn't too staid and formal for him.... his casual bedclothes, adorably touseled hair and flexing muscles made her mouth dry as she took in the wild youth before her.

She really HAD appreciated him last night, and she didn't want to seem an old woman to him. But the way his eyes moved up and down her form when he had first seen her spoke otherwise. If she didn't know any better, she would think he had been "checking her out." She hoped she wasn't gawking, because she wasn't doing any better!

"I wanted to... see you after what happened last night." Miaka made out. She licked her lips, noting the way his tanktop clung to him in odd places across his stomach and sides. Now who was checking who out!

"Of course... wait, how'd you find out where I lived?" he teased good-naturedly. Miaka smiled.

"It wasn't too hard! Megumi helped me out when I asked," Miaka laughed. Kyoko smiled and bowed.

"I'll leave you both to it, then. It was nice to meet you, Miaka-san."

"Likewise, Kyoko-san!" Miaka waved cheerfully. Tetsuo leaned on the doorframe to his room and grinned. Miaka tried not to blush as the position made his arm muscles stand out noticeably.

"Now, what's this really about, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Anou... that is..." Miaka tried not to swoon as her gaze swept to his pectorals. Her orbs quickly swept back to his eyes.

"I heard you were fighting for what Miro was saying!" she could have kicked herself, but Tetsuo only nodded and leaned his head boyishly against his upraised arm. His long bangs swept into his eyes, hooding them sexily.

"That guy's a real piece a' work. And... pardon, Miaka-san, but I couldn't stand the things he was sayin'. No one talks to a real lady like that, and you ain't any of his floozies," he swore lowly.

Miaka's heart pounded and she clasped her hands before her. "T-thank you.... I honestly didn't know how I was going to get away from him until you showed up. Thank you again..."

Tetsuo's gaze grew soft and he nodded. "Chivalry ain't all dead these days. It isn't right not to stand up for someone."

The two stood regarding each other almost casually. Miaka was lost in a maelstrom of thoughts as she surveyed the young man who was slightly older than the seishi who once protected her. Suzaku no schiseishi Tasuki had come to her world, and if he could, maybe the others could as well....

"Are you hungry?"

"Huh?" Miaka blinked the cobwebs of her thoughts away.

"Are you hungry? Or do you go around starving until lunch," Tetsuo teased. Miaka crossed her arms good-naturedly.

"It IS lunch-time!" she protested.

"Oh yeah..." Tetsuo grinned around his arm. "Can I still interest you in LUNCH, then?"

Miaka hesitated, proper and mature woman she was, standing before the wild youth. She faltered, years of marriage and propriety in her way, almost said no. She was a widow less than a year, for Suzaku's sake! What would Yui-chan, her friends, her SON, say about accepting a date from this man-child she barely knew?

In Tetsuo's eyes, she found her answer. The amber orbs glistened deeply, memories of another life pooling inside. He had that odd look of recognition, though he didn't know why. Miaka, though having no luck in finding her other Suzaku brethren whereas Yui met up with ALL of her Seiryuu ones, was plenty sure this was one of Suzaku's after all.

"Yes! Yes...lunch sounds fine," Miaka clasped her hands before her waist, blushing. Tetsuo grinned, his canine teeth pointing.

"Ya-ta!" he cheered. "Just let me get dressed, Miaka-san... and we can go!"

Miaka laughed as he turned and made to close the door. Her fingers reached out and trailed on his right wrist, stopped in their accidental touching. He was warm, charged to the touch.

"It's just Miaka," she whispered and Tetsuo's face flamed in response.

"Miaka...." he repeated, savoring her name intimately without the presence of a suffix. Miaka turned and leaned against his door, her palms pressed to her reddened cheeks.

And she remembered Tasuki, her beloved friend Tasuki, asking her forgiveness in her own home and world a few short years ago, asking to be redeemed the burden of his fathomless guilt. How he was possessed to act upon his dark desires, and those desires had been HER....

She remembered the rush of flame, the ready gift of forgiveness, Suzaku's heat surrounding them as they were lifted away..... the ache in her loins and heart as he pressed on top of her, pushing his love to new heights. He had been pure joy in her hands as she purified his guilt.

And she had been happy as well....

' It's Tasuki... it has to be, ' Miaka thought. She pressed the cooler back of her hand to her cheek, hearing the faint sounds of dressing within. Then her eyes grew serious.

Would Suzaku approve? Would Taka? Oh, Taka.... And as if hearing a recording play back, Miaka heard her late husband's words ringing in her memory.

' It is Suzaku's will.... Live. Live and love....'

Meeting her first Suzaku incarnation couldn't be a coincidence. She didn't know if he even KNEW. But, as Miaka was fond of doing, it was best to enjoy what you had, and to be happy with it.


****

Suzaku watched his aged Miko from the cavernous chamber room. Sukunami Taka stood at his elbow and the other Three Gods watched with interest as Miaka interacted with the red-haired youth.

"The sparks are apparent," Genbu Sekun observed. His dry, sonorous tone echoed throughout and into eternity.

"Yes, she is interested to match with him," Byakko added. His smooth jaw tightened in his child-like visage. "And this will make you happy, my brother?"

Seiryuu clasped his long fingers together and regarded Suzaku with hooded eyes. "Sending one of your own with your Priestess," he added.

Suzaku chuckled warmly, his sharp eyes narrowed in warmth. "My Priestess has given all she has selflessly and then some to save our world and the Universe of the Four Gods," he entoned. "It is time I send her happiness she can enjoy all her own, as well as aiding our wishes in the process."

"A high passion creates a joyful child," Genbu wondered.

"Well, she IS the Priestess of Flame and Love. I see why you sent him, brother. He is the definition all through and through. He is alive merely with an inhale of breath," Byakko said.

Sukunami Taka turned his ethereal head, his face enflamed. Suzaku smiled not unkindly.

"I have an honored place for you, my first warrior. You would not pass on in vain, alone and forgotten."

"As you say, Suzaku," Taka answered politely. He looked down into the pool showing images of his world. Teenagers that must be Seiryuu's incarnations melded around, walking to school, talking, passing notes. His own son was with them. "I just miss her so much. But..... I do want her to be happy."

'Even if it is in the arms of another,' he thought. That thought that would have crushed him while alive now only sat deep and silent with his passing, burning with its existence but not with jealousy. He craned his head to watch more of what was transpiring below.



****



Tetsuo emerged a few minutes later, and Miaka smiled warmly. He had put on a plain white t-shirt and blue athletic shorts with white piping down the sides. He had tamed alittle of his wild hair, popped a few mints to kill his morning breath, and stepped into simple flipflops.

Miaka tugged at the sides of her modest sundress and felt the apparent gap of years between them.

"This way," Tetsuo guided and the two made their way downstairs and out of Maison Ikkoku.

"College punk!" Mrs. Ichinose made out, as the front door opened and closed.

"Alcoholic!" Tetsuo gave back, then smiled sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that..."

"No problem!" Miaka said cheerfully. Tetsuo had been striding quickly on his longer legs, but he halved his motions to match her more sedate pace. "Where should we go?"

"There's alittle shop around the corner," Tetsuo suggested. "Come on."

All too soon the pair were seated in a quaint little teashop, cheerfully greeted by two waitresses and the line cook.

Miaka sat primly, her thighs pressed together. Her dress fell modestly past her knees. Tetsuo's eyes grinned at her above the top of his teacup. He had been the one to suggest black chai and though green tea was a favorite, Miaka had been delighted by the explosion of imported spices against her tongue. India was where Tetsuo had said it was imported from, but the smells invoked recollections of traveling on horseback through the deserts surrounding Konan...

"So," Miaka began. Tetsuo grinned.

"So," he answered. "What does Miaka do when she's not tracking down men who get into trouble on her behalf?"

His eyes twinkled merrily, however, and Miaka knew he wasn't mad.

"Well, I'm a psychiatrist at an elementary school," Miaka tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yui-chan works in that position as well."

"Sounds great," Tetsuo agreed. "That's real job security."

"I know," Miaka smiled sadly. "I worked there for years even when my son was attending."

Tetsuo's eyes traveled down to take in the roundness of her breasts at that mention, and then back up. "You have a son? Then... you are blessed. Must be one hell of a guy," he said easily. His mind clicked one and one... wait, that must mean....

"Anou, your.... husband wouldn't mind you coming today, huh?"

He felt his possibility dwindling rapidly away when Miaka touched her wedding band, her face flushed in what he feared to be guilt.

"I wouldn't know.... I'm a widow. He... passed last fall," Miaka informed him quietly. Tetsuo nodded, though his heart surged. He had a chance, after all!

"Do you... usually spend your time this way?" he asked, his heart pounding hard. Miaka looked so sad, he just wanted to make her smile!

She finally turned back to his gaze, and electricity sparked between their gazes.

"No," Miaka whispered. "Usually I keep to myself. I don't even drink that much."

' Tasuki, I've had enough.... ' the childish version of her voice echoed in his mind. Tetsuo swallowed uneasily and blinked tears back from his eyes.

And he didn't know why.

"Yui-chan and Saito-san made me go with them to get me out of my grieving," Miaka went on. "And I felt that's where I needed to be."

"I did, too..." Tetsuo found himself admitting with ready ease. He and the older woman stared wide, then laughed as one.

"Funny how life turns, isn't it?" Miaka smiled sweetly. Tetsuo flashed her a fanged response before peeking inside his paper-thin wallet. He slouched over.

"Ack! You can say that again!" His eyes crossed at the two bills inside and he quickly refigured his groceries for the rest of the week. Maybe Yusaku-san would spare a ramen pack or two....

"Is something wrong, Tetsuo-san?" Miaka asked with concern. Tetsuo snapped his wallet shut, with a weak laugh.

"Of course not... in fact, lunch is on me!"

Miaka knew he was a student and couldn't afford it, but she also knew a man wouldn't listen when his pride was on the line. She was well aware of this fact...

"Got any ideas for a new job?" she pressed. When he made a face, Miaka went on hurriedly. "Because as it stands, we need a new secretary/assistant at my school! Pay is good... and it'll be experience for your resume."

Tetsuo thought it over, then flushed. He would be near her every day that she worked. It would be heaven to be that close to her, but maddening also. To have her scent and body so close without being able to do anything about it right off...

' Tetsuo...' his dream Miaka moaned. Tetsuo widened his knees.

"What would I need to do?" he asked hoarsely. Miaka was startled to see him flushed as red as his hair, before coming to the same unspoken implication.

' He would be near me all the time.... I'd be near Tasuki. '

"Type, sort files, take calls, that sort of thing. And... assist me in anyway." My my, where did she learn such a provocative tone? Miaka knew Yui would be applauding her efforts if she knew.

"I always knew you were alittle horny letch," she would be saying. Well, she was about to find out anyway...

"I'd be honored to," Tetsuo said softly.

Their fingers, laid lightly on top of the table, almost touched.





****



Naisen walked beside Sadako, his hand brushing hers now and then. They had been chattered about light things but his heart surged and he had to get his feelings to the surface.

"Sadako... we can't do that again, you know.... that....until we're older. We need to have a childhood for a change," Naisen pleaded. Sadako sighed beside him. The thoughts had been between them for awhile now, and it was palpable relief they were finally said. She looked up at him with wide, sad eyes, but she nodded.

"Do you love me, Naisen?" she asked so sweetly that Naisen felt his heart lurch as his old soul wrapped around inside his insides and squeezed. In an instant, his deep blue eyes remembered her as a taller, voluptuous woman standing before him in a rainshower.

They had been in some garden inside the maze of the Kutou palace. Her long red hair hung sodden and damp against her back, and her hands had clutched his robe.

"Do you love me, Nakago?" she had asked before.

Naisen's lips parted as he remembered the answer he had uttered then.

"I don't love anyone." How he knew those words would hurt her, and he hadn't been disappointed. Even though he had once broken her heart, Sadako as Soi still served him with devotion and lay with him occasionally in his tent.

And now he almost did the same thing again. Naisen licked his lips, wishing for a cold drink. His throat was so parched....

"You know the answer to that," he whispered in this life. When Sadako looked down, Naisen's arm flew around her waist of its own accord and pulled her close. He bent his head to her shoulder, hanging on desperately.

Sadako sunk her fingers into Naisen's blond hair and held him close. "I know... sometimes a girl just likes to hear it. After you made me a delinquent, I'm sure I deserve that," she said haughtily. Naisen smiled ruefully and let her scamper off, the skirt of her school uniform all but waving back at him.

"Text me!" she called and Naisen raised his cell phone and waved with it. His lips had stretched out into a content smile for her and Sadako rushed off to class, all but convinced.

Naisen leaned against the side of the school and closed his eyes. Even though he'd had her and had her close to him either way, there was sometimes... SOMETIMES.... the guilt, fear and pain of the past, and it would not be assuaged or soothed. And THAT was something either he was going to have to change, as Yui-san would say, or it would have to be a haunting fact he would have to live with.

Neither option seemed particularily fulfilling. Someone shuffled past him on the sidewalk and Naisen raised his crystal blye eyes to take in a similar vision of personal anguish. Hiroshi's head was so low, his chin touched his chest. He sighed, his thin shoulders expanding with the efforts, and went still. Naisen pushed off the wall and pocketed his cell.

"Yo, Hiro-chan," he called out. Hiroshi rubbed his fist against his jaw and looked out over at his tall friend. Naisen's clear blue eyes looked as haunted and distant as they sometimes were, especially back in their childhood.

"Naisen-chan... .what are you doing out here?" Hiroshi asked. His face, the face that looked so much like his father's, bounced closer in Naisen's gaze. Memories of needless rage thudded through his veins; iced over. How many times had he struck out at Tamahome for merely being there, being younger, being happy, being so.... free with himself??

Naisen's fingers curled into a fist and then laid flat on his friend's shoulder. "I was just talking to Sadako about that night," he murmured. Hiroshi flashed a quirky smile.

"Ooh, do tell. Or have I heard everything?" he teased. Naisen flushed and ran his hand through his long hair. He looked away and stammered.

"Alittle bit... I mean, we're just kids," Naisen protested.

"Least you GOT something to worry 'bout. Me, I'm just stressin'."

"What for?" Naisen inquired. Was it about Sukunami-san? And why should that feel so important?

"Mama goes out alittle bit now," Hiroshi complained. "Not so much as to be bad, but an hour here or there and I've noticed."

"Aw, it's probably nothing," Naisen said. "Maybe it's with Yui-san."

"I don't know. She'd tell me if she was with her," Hiroshi complained. "I keep thinking of what if she has a boyfriend? And it makes me so mad... I mean..."

Tears filled the young teen's eyes and Naisen clasped his shoulder hard enough to bruise. "Hiroshi..."

Their brows pressed together and then Hiroshi was crying as openly as when they were children.

"Why can't my Papa still be here??" he said with real pain. Naisen's heart flooded in unsuppressed emotion and he and Hiroshi clung to each other, listening to the other sob softly.

His chest hurt, each breath was wracked with pain and Naisen had to brush the memories away as thick as deceptive cobwebs. It was Hiroshi here against him, not Tamahome or even Taka.

' Don't go peeking into the hearts of others....' Naisen gulped as his eyes shone with pain at the memory of the pain, dying alone and friendless, frozen to the end of a life without meaning. And only an enemy had been there, witness to what lurked buried in his past, and had cried for him.... how that had made him so sad and ashamed! That Tamahome had SEEN.... that he KNEW.... that he was also human at one point.

Naisen fisted Hiroshi's jacket, his stomach turned to ice.

' Don't look at me with pity, Tamahome! '

Hiroshi watched him with confusion, his eyes wet with his tears. "Naisen, what's wrong?" his breath hitched. Naisen's fingers clawed his shoulders, then Hiroshi carefully embraced him.

Naisen stood stiffly, almost resisted as he had once so long ago. Then he sank into the welcome embrace and cried.

Hiroshi seemed to hear his unspoken pain and lent him support. After a long time, the two teens made sure to cover up any trails of crying, washing up in the restroom and cutting the first few minutes of their class. They WERE men, after all, and appearances had to be kept.




****




Toya followed Hiroshi down the hallways of their school, his heart in his throat. His friend and crush hadn't said anything to him at all today, not yet, and while he wanted to see him.... he just didn't have the guts to break the rift Hiroshi had made between them.

Toya's eyes lingered longingly over the long legs of his friend, muscled shins working against the fabric of his uniform slacks as he walked along. He then shook his head, feeling bad for oogling him when he wasn't sure he wanted it. His stomach hurt so much, he thought the knot inside was going to clip him in two. He had to do it, it was now or never.

But why did it have to be now?

"Uhhhm...." his voice sounded soft to his ears, barely audible to any nearby. Hiroshi wasn't going to stop and notice him calling as it was. The afternoon breeze had swallowed his tentative syllable with easy greed.

Hiroshi kept going, as unstoppable as a storm. Toya swallowed, then again, his delicate adam's apple bobbing under his uniform collar. He was going to have to take the bull by the horns if he was going to get ANYWHERE.

"HEY! HIROSHI!" Toya opened his red lips and all but screamed. Students deep in idle conversation all jerked to a stop and riveted all attention to him. Toya flushed bright red.

But his full use of what his parents called 'stage voice' had the desired effect. Sukunami Hiroshi stopped, his posture stiffened.

He hadn't turned to face Toya yet, so the slender adolescent gathered his courage and carefully picked his way closer. His classmates were still eyeing him with open curiosity and/or consternation. Toya cast his eyes to the ground.

"Sorry... sorry... 'scuse me..."

Hiroshi turned slightly to meet him, and his face was just as flushed, just as embarrassed. "You didn't have to yell for the whole world to see," Hiroshi mumbled. His deep blue eyes raised and looked his friend in the eye. Toya clasped his small hands together and nodded rapidly.

"We really need to talk," Toya insisted. His face flamed as never before. "Please... at least let me explain."

Hiroshi sighed but he nodded, lessening the knot in Toya's stomach by maybe one fraction of an inch. It would have to do in this terrifying moment.

"Okay.... where should we go?" he asked. Toya was ready with an answer.

"The school roof... it should be all clear at this time of day." Toya almost slapped himself in the face at the look Hiroshi got.

The school rooftop WAS a private spot by most accounts; but it was also the kind of place you went to to confess your love or if a relationship was already established, steal a make-out session.

"Uhm, that is...maybe around behind the gym..." Toya backpedaled helplessly. Hiroshi slouched, his blue bangs covering his eyes.

"No, that's fine..."

The two boys slunk off in single file, as if they were on a raid instead of to an ackward conversation. Toya kept his eyes lowered as they climbed the stairs, unwilling to glance at Hiroshi's legs and buttocks. He was that certain he had made his friend more than angry. Hiroshi already had alot on his plate, and then he had to announce his feelings....

The last step was reached and the two youths came out into sudden brightness. The sun shone brightly overhead, the sky was a soft blue. The day was perfect, but the moment was not.

Hiroshi stopped in the middle of the tiles and about-faced towards his old friend.

"I... I know what you must be thinking," Toya stammered. He could feel Hiroshi's eyes peeling the layers of his heart aside. He ducked his head lower. "How could I like you like that, let alone tell you. You've gone through so much already, and I just went ahead and made you feel worse..."

"Toya.... ahhh, it wasn't so bad. I was just surprised," Hiroshi mumbled. He scratched the back of his head.

Toya went on, as if oblivious to Hiroshi's statement. It was apparent he hadn't heard him. "And you couldn't possibly be this way, or even look at me as more than a friend..."

"But I talked to my Mama, and she said sometimes you can't help who you have feelings for..."

"And... and.. i-it's okay if you don't want to look at my face anymore, I'll stay out of your way if you want me to..."

"If you want to.... hey, what?" Hiroshi asked.

"I'll leave you alone and you can forget I ever said anything...." Toya's hands were beginning to shake.. He clasped them tightly together, the tips turning white from lack of circulation.

"What are you talking about?" Hiroshi gaped. Toya lowered his head until his bangs hid his wet eyes.

"I'll... I'll stay away if you want... that's what I'm trying to say. You don't have to force yourself to hang around..."

Hiroshi's jaw dropped and he stared at the effeminate boy. He couldn't fathom the display of cowardice and he wanted to shake his friend to snap him out of it. But he remembered something Aunt Yui had said.

"Sometimes people say or do things they don't mean to because they're afraid."

Hiroshi hadn't understood her then, but he did now. Toya was scared of his reaction to his confession and was trying to offer the easy way out to cover up his bruised heart. Hiroshi's brows narrowed. That wasn't his way... he had been taught by his mama and papa to approach a problem head-on and make a proper solution. Damned if he was going to let them down!

"Toya! Stop it!" Hiroshi DID grab him this time, his large hands clasping his shoulders. "Don't say things like that if you don't mean it!"

Toya stared, stunned, into his friend's angry expression. His legs trembled and it was all he could do not to swoon at his feet. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Dammit, Toya, don't give in to fear! Mama told me that no matter what you think or do, as long as you have a good heart, is fine with the world! And if they have a problem with it, then they're not listening to themselves and they're the ones not truly living!"

Toya's wide eyes stared doefully into Hiroshi's, trying to decipher his words in his selfpitying mood. Was he trying to make him feel better? Or was he....

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered again. "I just don't know what to say after all that!"

Hiroshi heaved a sigh. "You really need to stop talking, Toya."

And then he leaned in and kissed him.

Toya's eyes widened as far as they could go, ready to pop right out of his head. His knees buckled and he really DID swoon, swaying low until Hiroshi's strong arms circled his slim waist, holding him up on his feet. His hands fisted the fabric of Hiroshi's uniform jacket.

Toya's eyes slowly closed and he moved his lips back against the taller boy's. It felt so soft... so good... while they weren't expert in the way of kissing, this still felt so nice and natural...

Hiroshi was carried away on a tide of heat, as surprised with himself as Toya was. The sensation of soft-pressed lips, wisps of Toya's long hair falling against his face, a thin but firmly toned body pressed up against him.....he was ready to ascend to Heaven on wings of turpulent emotion.

He hadn't expected this but it felt better than he thought it would. And the idea was becoming more welcome....

Until swirls of sand brushed against his cheeks. Hiroshi felt, rather than saw, a caravan of tents crawling across a desolute landscape. Men and boys of varying ages wore elaborate tunics and pants stuffed into boots, identifying them as a company of actors. Their costumes, headpieces and makeup were packed away on the slowly plodding horses beside them.

As Hiroshi was puzzling this over, his mind's eye landed straight on a young boy. His long hair was pulled back into a bun, his tunic dwarfed him making him look years younger. Residues of stage make-up were still smeared expertly across his smooth face, his lips red at the corners. He walked stiffly as if hurt somewhere; and Hiroshi saw a stack of bricks in his mind. Something to do with the pain in his legs and knees, to make them more limber....

"TOYA!" Hiroshi screamed. And oddly enough, the youth raised his head. Startling pale eyes looked pleadingly into his own....

"Gah!" Hiroshi lifted his head from Toya's, his lungs drawing in air swiftly. "Toya!"

"Hiroshi..." Toya whispered, touching his fingers to his own lips. He could still taste him.

But Hiroshi was panting hard, staring at him with a mingled sense of surprise and awe.

"Hiro, are you okay?"

"Toya..." Hiroshi's figners gripped his shoulders hard. "What WAS that??"

"Muh?" Toya asked intelligently, his eyes crossing.

"That desert! Those actors... and that boy... why did I see that?"

Toya remembered all of those things, and he smiled weakly. "Eh heh....well you see, I think you looked at a memory of mine...."

"But..."

"Well, you believe in past lives?" Toya asked softly, his face down. Hiroshi shrugged.

"Mama does. But I don't know... I guess I didn't really think about it."

"From what I remember, that was where I was at along time ago. That's all..." Toya fidgeted. Hiroshi watched him, his eyes soft.

"Lease you're somewhere better, now. Come on, let's get to lunch," Hiroshi said. He grinned. "My treat today."

"Well, if you insist..." Toya flashed his usual grin and sauntered at Hiroshi's side. His heart was troubled though. How could Hiroshi have been so close as to SEE?.... To see the abuse he had been through before he discovered he had the abilities of sorcery and illusion to make the pain stop....

Well, his friend WAS the son of Suzaku no Miko. Maybe that gave him some inherent powers they had no idea about.

"I think I'll have a brownie AND a piece of cake for dessert!"

"Oh, you're so spoiled..."




****


"We need to talk," Keisuke said.

Miaka heard the four words over the phone, immediately stiffening in anticipation. She had just come home from her interesting lunch with Tetsuo, and for a moment Keisuke had found out and was ready to grill her! She relaxed slightly, as she realized he couldn't have found out so fast. Where would his source be? No one knew about her side trip today.

"What is it, 'nii-chan?" she asked.

Keisuke smiled, hearing a hint of her old chipper self. "It's urgent, Miaka. Make that top-secret!" he declared.

Miaka rolled her eyes. Sometimes he was too much for the dramatic.

"Okay, okay...."

"And bring Yui-chan. I'm calling Tetsuya."

Miaka looked ahead, her heart thumping hard. "You don't think..."

"I said it was serious," Keisuke gently chided.

"I'll be there," Miaka swore.



****


Half an hour later, the urgent meeting began at Keisuke's home. He and Tetsuya sat side by side, comparing notes. Yui sat between her husband and Tetsuya, peeping over her ex's shoulder out of blatant curiosity. She and Tetsuya had fortunately retained a good friendship, over the years. Saito had long ago learned patience and let her be, being drawn himself into Miaka and Mayo's camraderie.

"She's so beautiful, Mayo-chan! She looks just like you," Miaka cooed to the younger woman. Her second child was in her arms, a small padded bundle. Miaka touched the tiny fist of the infant and Mayo smiled widely, touched as usual by Miaka's infectious mood. Her daughter, Sakura, grabbed onto Miaka's finger and clamped down as she slept.

"Yes, but her eyes are all Keisuke's," Mayo laughed, hugging her close. Keisuke looked up from his notes and smiled warmly. His heart tugged at the sight of the three women in his life, other than his mother who wasn't present. His sister, wife and daughter.... but fear tugged just as hard at him. He turned back to Tetsuya and rifled through their notebooks and loose printouts.

"Has there been a time when all Four of the Gods were together aside from Tenkou?" he murmured to his oldest friend. Yui squeezed closer if that was possible, her blue eyes widening. She nudged Tetsuya's arm and their eyes locked in question.

"I remember when Mariko-chan was that age," Miaka commented. "Just as sleepy, too."

Sakura pressed a tiny fist against her rosebud mouth and yawned.

"I'd love to have a daughter.... Hiroshi's too big to hold now."

Mayo smiled kindly at her predecessor. "It's not too late, Miaka-san. You could start dating again, surely!"

"Yeah," Saito put in. "It's never too late to shack up and have a love child." Mayo giggled as Miaka gasped; Tetsuya glanced at his former competition out of the corner of his eye, then smiled.

Yui swatted her husband good, though. "You great, big fool! It still may be too soon to settle on somebody," she scolded.

"Well... that is... I think I found someone," Miaka ventured timidly. There was a moment's silence before the table roared in response.

"WHAT??"

"Miaka, no way! You have a boyfriend this soon??"

"Does Hiroshi-kun know?"

"Quiet you, you all woke up the baby!"

"I knew she had it in her! Never too old!"

"What? Hey!" Miaka drew up, indignant at the implication. "I didn't mean it like THAT!"

' Or did I? '

"I meant one of the Suzaku Schiseishi!"

"Oooooh..." her friends and brother all deflated, some looking more disappointed than others.

"You know," Saito said seriously,"Asakura and I felt something a few weeks ago that could have been some of the Suzaku no seishi. They were teenagers from another school, because I didn't recognize the uniform."

"And you're telling us this NOW?" Yui asked in consternation. Mayo laughed with joy.

"The Suzaku no seishi reincarnated here, how wonderful!" she remembered seemless friendship and warm fellowship.

"If mine could be, why NOT Miaka's?...." Yui mused.

"Yui-chan..." Miaka gazed at her oldest friend with fondness. A twinkled sparkled in Yui's eye.

"However, it only means that THIS time, I beat you in finding my stars!"

"It was never a competition!" Miaka protested. Yui hung onto Saito's broad bicep and stuck her tongue out.

"Mama, Satsuke won't let me play!" Mariko edged into the dining room and pouted. Saito's eyes softened and he gently leaned to kiss the tears from his daughter's eye.

"Tell him no horsey rides from me if he won't," he offered. Mariko's face lit up.

"Kay! Bye, papa, bye, mama!" she announced and ran back into the children's bedroom. Keisuke watched her go with a hooded expression. His eyes lingered over his infant and his fingers traced his notes anxiously.

"I reaaaaally hate to stop all the carousing," he said dryly. "But I called you all here because of this latest development with The Book."

Everyone sobered. Whenever mention of 'The Book' came up, it was top subject, as it had all changed their lives dramatically.

Tetsuya pushed his shades up onto his nose. "You WERE rather vague about it on the phone. Did you find something of interest?"

"Something more disturbing," Keisuke confessed. He cleared his throat. Mayo watched him curiously, and just a moment's hesitation that could be pushed to fear. Whatever he chose to say next would determine....

"Out with it, 'nii-chan," Miaka urged.

"You have our attention as it is," Yui insisted. Saito suddenly clasped her shoulder hard.

"Well... we've put off our studies of the Shishin Tensho as the story was finished with Mayo entering. She in effect saved the Book's existence--"

"--with Miaka-san's help," Mayo put in. Miaka blushed.

"Obviously this book isn't just ordinary paper and ink. Even translated by Okuda-san, I've deemed from our research that this is a portal, a sutra, to an actual world. But well," Keisuke allowed a small smile throughout the stunned silence. "I don't have to preach to the choir. We all of us here know that world inside exists!"

Saito and Yuui nodded. They could hear Mariko singing from the next room...

"The Four Gods were desperate to save their world when the story's sutra had been finished when they defeated Tenkou the Pretender. Their purpose was written as finished, so in a way, they needed to go BEYOND what Okuda-san had translated."

"But I thought I stopped the Book's decay when I summoned Suzaku once more," Mayo asked, confused. "In that time, They went beyond the original 'story' on their own."

"Exactly!" Keisuke gestured with a pencil. "They moved beyond the written words and made events come to the conclusion they wanted."

"And it's obvious they wanted that world to keep on existing," Tetsuya concluded.

Miaka and Yui locked eyes.

"But, with each action we decided, and that our seishi decided, that created its own outcome. That wasn't predestined!" Miaka said.

"I could have believed in Miaka.... Amiboshi didn't have to be lost... " Yui mused. Saito's eyes dropped in sorrow.

"And Tamahome's family would have been left unaffected...." Yui squeezed his hand tightly.

"Yes..." Yui whispered. She spoke louder to the group. "Any girl could have opened that book and become the Priestesses of Seiryuu or Suzaku, though."

Tetsuya took off his shades and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okuda Takiko had access to the book only because her father had finished translating it. It was mere luck that she happened to be near it when the Story began. And Ohsugi Suzuno-san..."

"She was near the Book only because Okuda-san had sent it to his university friend, her father. She was the only girl nearby at the time, and The Book took her inside because it needed the Byakko no Miko," Keisuke concluded.

"So if the Four Gods couldn't control which girl was taken into their world, nor the outcome of their nation's events, They must be wanting to take control of matters into Their own hands, finally," Saito said wisely.

"I have to admit, I wouldn't be the first choice to save the Book if they had a say," Mayo laughed good-naturedly.

"Now, that's not true..." Saito patted her shoulder.

"You did just fine, Mayo-chan," Yui smiled. Miaka played with Sakura's hands.

Keisuke smiled kindly at her then turned serious again. "You're more right than you know, Saito-san. I haven't even touched the Shishin Tensho in weeks now, because work and the babies have us so busy."

"As if half the work wasn't put on me," Mayo teased.

"But, even so, I've heard whisperings from the safe," Keisuke said. His face looked troubled. "And yesterday.... when I went to look, I saw a scene where the picture swam as if moving. The lines all shifted and it looked so strange, that I could tell it had to have been happening before my eyes. All Four of the Gods were sitting together, discussing something...."

"How can that be?..." Tetsuya began but Keisuke pressed on.

"And they all LOOKED RIGHT UP AT ME. How could that be possible?" Keisuke demanded.

Everyone gasped and the still dread silence of fear pinched the group of friends hard.

"What did they say?" Miaka asked quietly. Her lips were almost white.

"They identified who I was. Even reading the story out loud, they knew who I was," Keisuke admitted sheepishly. "And they said I would 'serve them once more.' "

The group exploded, none more than Mayo.

"Why would they say that? What do they want you for??" she asked sharply. Sakura woke from the commotion and wailed. Mayo looked down to her daughter, her face twisted in fear. She rocked the baby gently.

"Nii-chan, you can't! You know what that world is like.... it's very real and you can be hurt or killed, just like here!" Miaka exclaimed. Her heart turned over. Would her own brother be taken from her, just like Taka had?

Keisuke smiled sadly, his heart in his eyes. "I don't know what's going on. But you gave it everything you had and even if the Shishin Tensho has moved beyond the fabrication of a simple story, I'll do whatever has to be done. You taught me that, Miaka."

"Keisuke..." Mayo said, her voice deepened with worry. Miaka and Saito clasped her on either side.

"What could Seiryuu and the others want?" Saito wondered.

"Maybe.... maybe it could be that with Them gaining control of Their own world..." Tetsuya began, lost in thought.

"What is it, Tetsuya?" Yui asked. Saito watched the two of them.

"It could be they just want to do more than exist.... they want to live," Tetsuya smiled, crinkles pulling at the corners of his eyes. He saw Yui catch Saito's eyes, the two sharing a deep gaze. He saw Mayo with Keisuke's daughter in her arms.

And he saw himself many years ago, with a long-haired college student on his arm...



****



As the friends pondered this and myriad other possibilities, the Four Gods looked down into Yuuki Keisuke's living room.

"He has the right of it," Byakko Sekun said melliflously.

"Such simple wisdom. Such simple emotion, but powerful.... so strong they could shake the world if they chose. What is it about these humans? They have more than they seem capable of!" Seiryuu Sekun wondered.

Genbu Sekun turned, his armor clinking. "The capacity for mercy, the endless depth of love.... and the will to sacrifice one's self to protect," he murmured. His ancient eyes glazed and he saw his Miko again, the ashes that had once been a girl named Okuda Takiko briefly flickering across the surface of the seeing pool.

She had raised her arms to the skies, called his full name by the Four Directions of Heaven. She had been flanked by her Seven, and she had been beautiful, her hair long and dark, her throat and slender arms ivory white and bare from her elaborate robe.

Suzaku Sekun nodded. "They are selfless... and these by far are the best of humanity I have seen. They burn with my element and readily give it to all they pass."

The Four Gods nodded to each other and looked back into Tokyo.

Mariko shivered and looked around. Upon seeing no one, she went back to playing with Satsuke.


End for now

Wow wow wow wow! This was too much fun to write. With some good tunes (winks at Banditscribe), a stack of the manga and lots of coffee, I was in penheaven, making these words flow out to you. I truly love this fic. It really took a good turn and I hope you enjoy. Please, please type a review if you can, it only takes two seconds! And it helps to know what was good, what was bad, what was okay. Like it? Love it? Click click send your opinion to me!

Most sincerely,
pen rose 8/27/08