Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Fushigi Akugi : The Malicious Play ❯ Fushigi Akugi : The Malicious Play ( One-Shot )

Fushigi Akugi

The Malicious Play

The day started like any other, classes going on forever, the teachers droning on like broken records and no breaks. Yep, same old thing like every day…

Suddenly the teacher turned into a giant chocolate cupcake with sprinkles and a sweet-looking cherry on top. Miaka started drooling at her desk, imagining the sugary sweet cake going down her throat. She jumped up and declared to no one in particular "I must have it!" Then she leaped at the dessert with her mouth wide-open, tongue hanging out, slobbering on the floor. She woke up to find herself straddled over the teacher who was on the ground trying to get her mouth off of her glasses. Yui stood nearby with great jealousy; she had wanted to do that all semester. But as usual Miaka just had to do everything before her and showoff. The teacher, getting up off the floor, sent Miaka out into the hall to wait for the end of class, his glasses still stuck in her mouth, murmuring " yummy, yummy cupcake, mmm."

Yui stared after Miaka with a vague hunger in her eyes; she wanted those glasses for her own selfish desires. In her mind she saw herself naked on a bed of satin caressing the glasses against her hot skin. But back to Miaka…. She waits for the class to get over, a glazed look on her face until the bell rings. When she hears the bell, she comes to her senses, blinking and pulls the glasses out of her mouth with a confused look. Then she realizes what time it is. She runs down the hall yelling "Food!!" It was lunchtime.

Yui trailed not far behind yelling, "Miaka!! Wait for me you pig!"

Miaka didn't wait but yelled over her shoulder, "You should talk you little piglet."

They reached the lunchroom breathless, like they had been running for days with no food. Quickly they grabbed trays and that day's special before sitting down. Not caring what they were eating they stuffed it down their throats as fast as they could.

"Hey, Miaka, do you know what we are eating?" Yui mumbled around her mouthful of food. Miaka, busy chewing on her tray, mumbled something unintelligible back. "Miaka, you are chewing on your tray you know." Yui swallowed and watched her friend in disgust. She had wanted that tray. Covering her jealousy with a smile, she asked Miaka an important question. "Do you want to go to the library?" Miaka stopped chewing her tray and stared at Yui.

"What can we eat at the library?" Yui gave her a weird look.

"You can't eat anything at the library, stupid. You read book and learn something. A concept you should try someday." Miaka just stares at Yui with a blank look.

In front of the library Miaka, looking up at the huge building asks Yui, "Do you know what paper tastes like?" Yui doesn't look back at her, hiding the puzzled look on her face.

"No I do not know what paper tastes like. Do you?"

"No, I just wanted to know. I guess I'm just hungry." Miaka followed Yui into the building.

"You just ate you pig. How can you be hungry again?" Yui frowns at her.

"Well, we did have to walk here you know." Miaka whines. "Ok, whatever."

"They must have a vending machine here somewhere. Find it and leave me alone." Yui stalks off towards the bookshelves.

Miaka just stands there with a lost look on her face thinking, how could she fit a vending machine down her throat? A little voice in her head laughs at her and tells her that, duh, she can't eat a vending machine, but if she puts money into the machine, it will give her food. With a smile Miaka skips to the vending machines and fumbles in her pockets for change. After searching for a while, she pulls out a single coin, giggling with glee. She had just enough for a candy bar. A tune popped into her head and she began to hum. All at once everyone in the library began to hum the same tune. As one they all jumped up onto the tables and broke into song. "Give me a break, give me a break… break me off a piece of that `Kit Kat' bar." People began to dance in between the shelves, on the tables, on the desks; everywhere there was room.

Yui looked up from her book "The whore, the hoe, and the slut" looking lost. Everyone was dancing around her in wild abandon to the song Miaka had been humming. Angrily she put her book away; she had done it again. Carefully she climbed up onto the nearest desk, holding up her `Klondike' bar and began to sing,

"What would you do for a `Klondike' bar?" Silence met her tune, every face turned to her in confusion. Her face turning red, she got down and picked up her book again, hiding behind it. Everyone returned to what they were doing before as if nothing had happened.

Meanwhile, Miaka was still humming in front of the vending machine. A librarian hurried up to her, getting too close, breathing tuna breath at her and told her to "Shhhhh!" Embarrassed, Miaka dropped her coin. As she bent down to pick it up she saw the most gorgeous, lovely, beautiful, flaming peacock behind her. The coin forgotten she straightened quickly; she had forgotten she was wearing a thong.

Thinking to herself, gee, no wonder it felt kind of breezy this morning on the way to school. Turning to where the peacock had been she glimpsed its red tail fleeing up the stairs. "Come back here you perverted bird!" she called as she raced up the stairs after it.

Yui, too absorbed in her book did not notice Miaka running like a chicken in heat up the stairs. She had just gotten to her favorite part, where the Whore hits the Ho and the Slut ducks, laughing. Yui had read this book many times before but loved this part, she knows it by heart, but she keeps reading it over and over. But back to Miaka…She reached the top of the stairs out of breath and panting.

Thinking to herself that the peacock had more energy than Richard Simmons (or a three year old) she looked around for the flaming bird. A door at the end of the hall was halfway open and a red glow emanated from within. She wondered if it was from the bird. (Duh) Slowly she began walking down the hall, entranced by the beautiful red glow.

The hall seemed to stretch forever, filled with the dim radiance of the light. "I must go to the light." Miaka mumbled, the sound echoing in her head. She felt like she was floating, light as a feather, towards the half-open door where the red glow spilled ever brighter out towards her. Anyways, she got to the door, not noticing that Yui was coming up behind her, wondering what the fuck she was doing.

"Miaka, what are you doing? And what the hell is that blue light?" Yui asked, stopping right behind her.

Miaka tore her eyes away from the light to look back at Yui with a look that said "You fucking moron." " Yui, the light is red, can't you see that or do you need glasses?" Miaka said, sounding annoyed.

Yui, irritated at her friend's stupidity, rolled her eyes. "Hello, you are color blind. The light is blue, not red; blue." But then Yui stopped and really looked at the light, blinking to clear her eyes. The light began to turn red slowly. Feeling really stupid, she only mumbled something unintelligible when Miaka told her again that she was on crack and the light was really red.

Yui, wondering how she could have been so wrong, could have sworn that she saw a blue dragon tail going up the stairs. She had put her book down to find Miaka and saw a blue light appear at the top of the stairs where the dragon tail disappeared around the corner.

She had gone up after it to see if she was just going crazy or if she had taken too much crack. Turns out that she had just taken too much crack, because the light wasn't blue but red and it was not a dragon tail but a peacock. Together the two girls entered the room, looking around for the peacock. At the end of an aisle they found the bird. It was floating above the floor, just staring back at them. Suddenly it flung a book at them; it hit Yui right smack in the face. Miaka ducked and laughed at her friend.

"Hey, that kinda reminds me of the time when you almost-" Yui slapped her hand over Miaka's mouth before she could finish.

"Don't you dare say anything! I know what you were going to say and I don't want you to ever bring that up again! You hear me? Never!" She began shaking with her anger.

Miaka just nodded, confused at her reaction. Yui took her hand away from her mouth and Miaka finished her sentence. "-got hit in the head with Kesuke's basketball." Yui stood staring at Miaka for a moment before shrugging and picking up the book to look at it. Miaka, hoping for a better reaction, rolled her eyes and moved to where she could see the book too.

"The…uni….universe…of the…f….four…gods. `The Universe of the Four Gods'" Miaka stuttered over the title but got it right.

Yui silently cursed at her for getting it before she did. Miaka had done it again. "That was good, Miaka. You got it before I did. I didn't know you could read ancient Chinese so well." Yui whispered.

"Yep, I did pay a little attention in class you know. So open it up and see what this is all about already." She was impatient to see any pictures the book might have of food.

Yui opened the book to the first page… "This book is about a young lady and her quest to gather the seven constellations of Suzaku. If you, the reader reads to the end of this book, you will be granted the powers of the heroine and granted three wishes." She read out loud.

"Wow, cool!" Miaka said. "Sign me up!"

As soon as she had spoken those words, the peacock, which had been ignored up to this point, flung itself towards the girls and the book. The girls looked up in time to see the peacock reaching its talons out for them before it had a hold of them and dragged them into the book with it. Miaka hand stretched out from the book griping for dear life then came one of the peacock talons and Miaka's hand was pulled back inside.

Miaka suddenly found herself surrounded by a red light, Yui was nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden the light was gone and she was floating over the great palace grounds of an ancient city. It looked like China. The red light flashed again and she found herself in the middle of nowhere. As the red light faded she looked around for Yui. "Yui?" she called out. From underneath her a muffled sound followed by movement made her stand. On the ground where Miaka had been sitting was Yui, her face in the dirt. Slowly Yui stood up and dusted herself off, glaring at Miaka.

"You landed on me, Miaka. Where did you think I was?"

Miaka stood there with a blank look on her face. "Well…you didn't need to be underneath me when we landed, you know." She whined at her friend.

Yui just stared at her until she noticed two men approaching from behind Miaka. They walked like pimps, but were uglier than Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt put together. Yui pulled Miaka to her and turned her around so she could see the men. Miaka stared at the men with lust in her eyes; they were cuter than Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt! The two men came up to the girls, smiling.

"Hey cutie." The first one said to Miaka in a gravely voice.

"What are two lovely ladies doing way out here all alone?" the other said to Yui while looking at Miaka's chest.

Yui gulped at the look in their eyes and glanced at Miaka. She was smiling back at the man like an idiot, putting on her innocent act. It made her sick. Miaka always did this around men she thought was cute. She only did it to annoy her. But Yui sensed something bad about these two men, they were trouble.

"Would you ladies like some company? It is a beautiful day for a walk through the woods. It is nice and quiet there." the first man suggested, his tone closer to a sneer than a smile.

"Are there any places to eat in the forest?" Miaka asked the man with the gravely voice. He nodded.

"Yes, there are many places to eat in the forest. Come with us, we will show you." He took Miaka's arm and began to walk towards the distant woods.

Before Yui could smack Miaka for being such an idiot, a man stepped out of nowhere and punched the man holding Miaka's arm in the face. The man fell staggering away, holding his face in pain. His partner only looked at him, then at the other man and began to run away. The stranger chased after him and began to beat the hell out of him. Miaka and Yui could only stare at him in shock. The first man took off running when he saw what was happening to his partner. Finally the stranger stopped beating the unconscious man and turned back towards the two girls. Frightened that he would now beat them up, they backed away, clutching onto one another. The stranger stopped a little ways away and looked them up and down before grinning. "You don't have to worry. Those guys won't hurt you now. Where did the other guy go? He needs to get his butt kicked too. I still feel like punching someone."

Yui let go of Miaka and stepped forward. "Thank you for s-" she began, but was cut off by the man's fist punching her in the face.

"I wasn't talking to you, was I?" he said as he stepped around her to look at Miaka's chest. "So, what are you doing out here alone?" he asked her, smiling slyly.

Miaka looked down at Yui who was on the ground holding her bruised face, then back up at the stranger. "I am hungry. Do you have any food?" she asked, ignoring his question.

Yui looked at the two as they stood there talking, that bitch she did it again! She thought she had wanted to be close to the stranger even though he had hit her. Just then a blue light surrounded Yui and she vanished, " M-me-me- Miakkkaaaa! Help m-

"Did you hear something?" Miaka said as she looked around she could have sworn she heard a cow crying in pain.

"Yeah it sounded like cow in labor." The man said.

Miaka turned around, "Yui did you- Yui…" Miaka was looking all over for Yui she was gone. " Yui ? where'd she go? Oh well…" Miaka then turned her attention back to the buy, as she thought maybe she went to go save that cow in labor?!

" Who's Yui?"

" The girl you hit…"

" Oh, that ugly Bitch! Think God she left…probably went with the cow."

" That explains the ugly cries…."

Yui found herself standing in the meddle of the poor section of a huge empire. (Actually it's the sum district but she doesn't know that….) She looked around at her settings confused with how she had gotten there. where am I? She thought as she began to walk through the vacant allies of the city. She turned a corner; across from her about a few feet was the most cutest little boy, with short black hair, big, wide dark brown eyes, chubby cheeks, a sweet smile drawing pictures in the dirt. He sat crunched over his work of art. Yui walked over to the little boy she crunched down in front of him and smiled sweetly and said, "hey there cutie.."

Just then the little boys mother came up from behind Yui. She didn't like the sound of this sluttish skank talking to her little angel. She slowly, and quietly came up behind Yui as she did she grabbed a huge stick and held tightly in her hand and then when Yui was about to lay her hand on her little boy's head she hit her up side her head hard. Yui fell over and passed out. "Don't touch my son Bitch!" The women said as picked up her little angel and walked away with him in her arms. "Are you okay sweetie? Did that dirty whore touch you?" Yui was left alone unconscious and helpless in the middle of the vacant ally of the slum district to die.

Just then a tall white man, with long blond hair and deep blue eyes came ridding through the vacant ally, on his noble steed. Just when his steed was about to step on Yui's uncounted body he yelled, " woo Mollie!" ( that's the steeds name by the way!) his voice so deep and full of (I'll get back to you on that…..) he got off of his steed and churched down in his metal armor, you could hear the crunching of his armor as he did so. She studied Yui's body every little detail with out touching her. All that was said where a few comments about her, " Hmm the breast are not big enough, but she fits the description well… she is wearing weird clothes but they show her legs off nicely. O my God's she is the hhh- the man took Yui to the palace.

After Yui was awoken the Blond haired man bought her before the Emperor. "Your Majesty, this girl that I bring before is the girl of legend… the one you have been waiting for... the one sent by our god…the one who the profits speak of… the girl who become the hhh!" The Blond Haired Man gasped deeply.

The Emperor looked down at Yui. "Oh Nokandgo! Why did you bring me a Gods damn forager!" The Emperor yelled.

"My Lord but-"

"My God's I swear! You let one damn former in and they start bringing their whole family!"

"She's not part of my Family sure… her breasts are too small."

The Emperor cleared his throat and replied, "Ah yes tis too true. You must introduce me to some your family Nokandgo…" then I can rub my face in-between their breasts! The Emperor thought to himself.

"Uhh Your Majesty, you killed my family... remember?"

"Oh... anyway... well then if this forager isn't part of your family then who is she?"

" As I said before Sir she is the hhh-" Nokandgo replied.

" What!? So then your saying that she is the hhh- of legend?!" The Emperor started, " But they said she would have breasts the size of mountains! Oh man we were gypped! Couldn't they have sent us something nice to look at! I mean I could have lived with her being a big breasted forager, but with no breasts! This is outrageously unfair!"

* * * *

Back to Miaka... Miaka and the guy that rescued her were walking for hours and hours until she stopped and said, "there was some thing that I have to ask you but I cant remember." The guy was too busy staring at her chest, so she stuck her chest out even more. The guy's eyes suddenly got big.

The young man shook his head and said, "what? …what did you say? I wasn't paying attention," he blinked.

"Oh well it doesn't matter anyway. I'm hungry let's find something to eat." Miaka replied.

" Ah ha…" The young man said his eyes still lock on her breast, " What's your breast's…don't ! I mean what's your name?" he asked.

Miaka confused with the young man's question replied as she opened her shirt and pointed to her right breast, " Her name if Linefeed," she then pointed to her other breast, "Her name is Retiree, and my name is Miaka," replied then asked, " What's your name?"

"Tamahome," Tamahome replied.

"I've heard that name before? But where?" Miaka questioned herself, then it came to her, "I know! It was in a manga I read! Fushigi Yugi!"

"What?!" Tamahome questioned, "What the hell are you talking about!? MY NAME IS ARIGONAL!"

" Or was it `The Slut, The Whore, and Hoe'?" Miaka questioned herself ignoring Tamahome, " OH who cares. I am hungry lets go get something to eat okay Tamahocky."

"It's Tamahome!" Tamahome snapped back.

" Whatever! I am hungry lets-"

"I KNOW!"

" Okay… gee's you don't have to yell… damn!" Miaka said.

"I AM NOT YELLING!"

" Calm down, gees."

"I AM CALM!"

" No you not."

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

" Stop it your scaring me."

"STOP WHAT I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING!"

" what the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs?"

"NO! WHY WOULD I NEED DRUGS!"Tamahome said as he popped open a buddle of strange looking pills and swallowed a hand full.

Suddenly Tamahome became really calm and happy. " What are those then hummm?" Miaka questioned.

Tamahome looked at Miaka with a dazed out expression, " What did you say?"

" I don't know?"

" Oh okay," Tamahome replied.

" who cares anyways I am hungry let's go fined a place to eat."

Tamahome smiled and then pulled out a bag of multicolored mushrooms and handed them to her. "Hear eat these… they should satisfy your hunger."

" Are those what I think they are?"

" Yup…"

" Shrooms!! Yummy!" Miaka snatched the bag from Tamahome's hand and wolfed them all down in one gulp.

" Hey. Hey…hey… hay those were mine!" Tamahome said all dazed out and crossed eyed.

" Wow there's ninety of you…" Miaka said as she stared at him all dazed and all most retarded. You could see droll come down her chin.

The two suddenly passed out…

Suddenly a huge army crossed their path. They were carrying a huge bed like thingy (we don't know what it's called but most royalty in this timed were carried by these things.) "Stop Immediately!" Called a refined male voice that sound almost feminine. The tall, buff, half naked men who had been carrying the bed like thingy stopped and quickly put it down.

"What is You High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori?" asked one of the buff guys that had bed carrying the bed thingy.

"That girl go fetch her!" Emperor Hotohori demanded eagerly. The buff men looked around until they noticed a half retarded Miaka twitching on the floor who had been laying right in front of them. Feeling like dumb asses they quickly fetch ed Miaka and brought to Emperor Hotohori. "High, Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori, we have fetched you the girl that you have asked and have brought her before you," said the strong, buff half naked men. They sounded like a bunch buff Germen weight lifters.

"Good now lay her down beside me and move out!" said Emperor Hotohori.

* Sean panning off to editor room…*

Two young writers sat in front of their computer writing. When suddenly a angry Hotohori walks in. The two writers looked up the young beautiful Emperor confused with his anger. They had done what he had asked. They gave him the title of "High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori!" What other complaint did he have to bring before them again?!

The youngest of the two writers who had been typing at the moment stood up and asked, "Yes, Hotohori what is it now? What has dissatisfied you this time in the story?" she questioned in an annoyed tone.

"What is this?!" He complained as he pointed to the words are quotes the read "Emperor Hotohori".

"Well gees Hotohori that your name…" the older one of the two girls.

"NO! YOU FOOLS I ASKED OF YOU TO CALL ME HIGH AND MIGHTY, BEAUTIFULL, LORD, GODLY - EMPEROR, HOTOHORI! Now fix it god's damn it! Or I'll …"

"Very well High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori.."

* Back to story*

Suddenly a huge army crossed their path. They were carrying a huge bed like thingy (we don't know what it's called but most royalty in this time were carried by these things!) "Stop Immediately!" Called a refined male voice that sounded almost feminine. The tall, buff, half naked men who had been carrying the bed like thingy stopped and quickly and put down the bed like thingy.

"What is it Your High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori?" asked one of the buff guys that had been carrying the bed thingy.

"That girl! Go fetch her!" High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori demanded eagerly. The buff men looked around until they noticed a half retarded Miaka twitching on the floor right in front of them. Feeling like dumb asses they quickly fetched Miaka and brought her to High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori. "High, Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori, we have fetched you the girl that you have asked and have brought her before you," said the strong, buff half naked men. They sounded like a bunch buff Germen weight lifters.

"Good now lay her down beside me and move out!" said High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori.

The buff men laid the twitching Miaka next to High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori. "Awa I think I'm in love!" he said as he looked at Miaka retarded expression and nearly melted.

Miaka's body stopped twitching, her eyes opened and she saw High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori, "Gee's Tamahocky you look better then before, when did you die your hair green? And where did you get that nice dress?"

High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori eye let up with joy from Miaka's complementing words. He was happy that someone appreciated his nice, puffy, pink dress with white ruffles. "I made it my self… I'm glad that you like it…"

"Wait a minute you're not Tamahomeless!" said Miaka as she sat up quickly.

"Hey what are you trying to say here?!" said Tamahome as he popped up in the middle of Miaka and High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori. "Are you calling me homeless?!"

"No… Tamahome. I… I… I… Oh boy I forget…" said Miaka before she passed out oh High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori's body and through up.

High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori looked up at Tamahome. His eyes white open with glee "(+).(+)" "I think she like me? Don't you?" he asked.

"Uhh… who the hell are you? And what's up with that ugly ass dress that you have on?" replied Tamahome.

High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori gave Tamahome an appalled, and hurtful look. "I could throw you out of this bed like thingy you know!"

"You look gay!" Tamahome remarked.

"Shut up! Get out of my bed like thingy!" High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori demanded hurtfully.

"No! I'm sick of your crap! You get out!"

"Hey I'm the Emperor Ya know!"

"No your not! You pink pansy!" Tamahome snapped back.

"Guards dress him in the dress!" High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori commanded. The buff guards grabbed Tamahome and dress him in pink too-too! "Make walk through town square! Have him do a cute little dance for everyone!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO!"Cried Tamahome in pure agony…

Tamahome was quickly changed out of the cloths and put into the dreaded too-too and pointed ballerina slippers. He forced in front of the High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori's bed like thingy where was to dance gracefully. Tamahome swallowed hard as the sweet, ballet music of Swan Lake started to play. He was hesitant to move. He looked over his shoulder and noticed that he was not alone on this. There were other men behind him. They apparently they had insulted the Emperor too. I'm not going to move… I will not move… Suzaku please help me!!! He prayed to himself.

Pans off to the Heavens where Suzaku is sitting on toilet reading the new paper. He heard a male voice call out to him for help. He stood up and looked down the toilet hole, "Awa looks like on my celestial warriors in pink too-too. That must be pain for a young man to go through. I should show him how much I care… He sat back down on the toilet opened up his news paper, posed for a minute, then let it all out. He sighed in relief, "I've been wanting to get rid of that lode for a quarter a century now… that felt great!…"

Tamahome stood there in front of High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori's bed like thingy covered in shit from head to toe. He looked up to the heavens and cried, "I said please…"

High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori, Miaka and the buff guards, and all the men behind Tamahome looked at him with disgust. "what hell just happened?" said of the men behind Tamahome.

"Holy shit, Suzaku just blessed him…"

High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori set out of his bed like thingy, "He did?" he asked.

"High and Mighty, Beautiful, Lord, Godly-Emperor, Hotohori, Suzaku has given Tamahome something very special… his Holy Shit! This this means he is one the HHHHHHHH- Warrior's!"Said one of the buff men.

"Oh my…"

"ha ha you got shit on by a big birdie" Laughed Miaka.