Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Hell's Mirage ❯ Learning to Live Again ( Chapter 5 )

Hell's Mirage

 

By: V.M.

 

A/N: Hello again all, nice to see that you are following along. Hope I can keep your attention for the rest of this long and drawn out love story. Things will get a bit worse between our couple before they get better. Hence the mention of `long and drawn out'. ENJOY!

Warnings: Language, brief nudity, and angst. Rated 16+

Much love to my new beta, insatiable muse, good friend, loyal reader, compassionate reviewer, and fellow author, Miss KittyLynne.

 

 

Part E: Learning to Live Again

 

 

I sat and stared at the pond in front of me, not really seeing it, instead I saw Nakago as he was while in the yurt with me; leather pants, billowing white shirt, rakish smirk, and ice cold, blue eyes that would forever burn in my memory.

 

I didn't know when we got here, or even where `here' was. All I knew was that Tamahome hated me, Tasuki was upset that I had tricked him, and that bastard, Nakago, had taken the ultimate revenge.

 

My clothes were gone, and the uniform that had been my link to Yui was in tatters. Bless Tasuki- though I didn't deserve his kindness, he had given me the very shirt off his back, telling me not to worry about it, I needed it more than he did.

 

It was strange being alone with him. Of all my seishi, even Chiriko and Mitsukake, I was sure I knew the least about Tasuki. That had made it easier to ask him the things that I had; because he was an unknown, I figured his opinion of me shouldn't matter.

 

It wasn't that I thought he was safe. To be honest, he was the only man other than Tamahome that could make me look twice at him. I didn't want to feel physically attracted to him; the very idea frightened me. The only way to deal with the swirl of emotions he provoked was to ignore him and keep my distance.

 

That wasn't an option now.

 

He was my protector, my sole means of survival. As uneasy as he made me, I would have to trust him.

 

“Tasuki…” I whispered as he stepped into my line of sight. “Why are you taking care of me? Don't you feel the same as Tamahome?” I drew back as he crouched down beside me. “Never mind. I need to get clean now.”

 

Heedless of modesty and shame, I stood, stripped out of the borrowed shirt, and slowly waded into the water.

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 1st person POV

 

 

She looked so lost and confused. Her world ended when Tamahome ran off and she got stuck with me, a no-account bandit she hardly knows.

 

She's hurtin' and I know she feels alone, but I won't let her be alone. As a seishi of Suzaku it's my duty ta keep her safe and happy.

 

No problem with the safe, I c'n swing that. It's th' happy part that has me worried.

 

Nakago really did a number on `er; the bruises are still visible after two days. She's barely spoken; picked at the food I forced on her, and as far as I know, hasn't slept since Tamahome took off.

 

“Tasuki,” she whispered. “Why are you taking care of me? Don't you feel the same as Tamahome?”

 

I crouched down next ta her, an answer forming on my lips, but she stopped me. “Never mind. I need to get clean.”

 

She stood, stripped outta my shirt, and waded slowly in ta th' water. As she walked away, I checked out the damage done ta her body; dried blood streaked th' insides of her thighs, vicious lookin' finger marks on her hipbones an' deep bruises dotted her cute little ass, all from the rough treatment that son-of-a-bitch had dished out.

 

I kept an eye on her from a distance, only panickin' when her head went under the water. I didn't know how ta swim but she was almost no better; she had almost drowned herself tryin' ta save me when I went over board on our ship ride to Hokkan.

 

I breathed a sigh of relief when her head came back up, seein' that she had just wanted ta get her hair wet. My breath caught as she turned to look at somethin', and the shimmerin' light from the sunset was captured in her hair.

 

 

Sothis was what Tamahome saw every time he saw her! Just lookin' at her tiny lil' body made my mouth go dry, my hands ached with wantin' ta touch her skin just ta see if it was as soft and perfect as it looked. She seemed so damn fragile, it made my heart hurt ta look at her… and she didn't even know I was there.

 

Shakin' that thought from my mind, I stood an' wandered back ta our dyin' fire ta add a few more logs ta keep it burnin'.

 

“Hey, Miaka? I'm gonna go hunt up some food, okay?” I called out, hoping she'd answer. When she didn't, I looked over my shoulder- and almost screamed in shock.

 

She was standin' in hip deep water, scrubbing furiously at her arms with what looked like a handful of rocks! Her already abused skin was growin' pink under the onslaught.

 

I stood and stared until I noticed that she was makin' herself bleed. Seein' that, I immediately toed off my boots and splashed inta th' water. Makin' my way over ta her, I stilled her hands. “Miaka, what the hell-?”

 

“It won't go away…” she whispered, interrupting me. Tears pooled in her eyes and she looked away. “The feel of his hands- it just won't go away!”

 

I hooked a finger under her jaw and gently turned her face to mine, “Miaka, it's goin' ta be alright. I won't let nothin' hurt ya anymore.”

 

“NO!” she cried. “It'll never be alright! Can't you see? I've lost the right to summon Suzaku, Tamahome thinks I'm a tramp and Nakago…” she trailed off. “I brought this on myself. You are released from your obligation. Go back to your bandits!”

 

`She thinks thatis the only reason I'm here? Can't she see that this business with Nakago doesn' make me see her any different?'

 

“I ain't goin' anywhere, so shut up!” I growled my anger over Tama's attitude finally makin' its appearance. “Tamahome's bein' an ass! If he could see past the end of his fuckin' nose, he'd understand that what you did was heroic! Ya wanted the Shinzaho back, and did everythin' in your power ta get it.” I wrapped my arms tightly around her tiny frame, “Gods Miaka, can't you see how fuckin' brave you are? You went ta Nakago! Ya knew he'd probably be vicious with ya, but ya went anyway! That ain'ta betrayal, its honor and courage!”

 

I stopped talking and held her, content to stroke her damp hair for as long as she'd permit it.

 

When I felt her small hands pushing against my chest I reluctantly let go and stepped back.

 

“Thank you, Tasuki. It means a lot to hear you say that.” She said, tears slipping over her lashes. “I just wish Tamahome could see things the way you do…”

 

She turned away and I had no choice but to grit my teeth as I watched her shoulders shake with her sobs. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her again. “Don't worry about Tama. I'm sure that when he calms down he'll be right back here beggin' for your forgiveness.” I told her firmly. “Until then, I want ya t know that ya ain't gonna be alone. When we find the others, we'll get Mitsukake ta heal those bruises. That'll help.”

 

She turned in my embrace, tangling her fingers in the ends of my hair to hold me in place. “We can't tell the others!” She exclaimed. “Please, Tasuki, if you care for me at all, you can't tell them about what I tried to do with Nakago, or what he did to me! I'd die of mortification! They'd think the same way as Tamahome does! I couldn't bear that!”

 

I tightened my hold on her. “Miaka, can ya honestly tell me that ya think that guys like Chichiri, Chiriko, or Mitsukake would blame a woman for bein' raped?”

 

I heard her sigh. “No. They wouldn't.”

 

I sighed in relief. “Then I don't wanna hear another word about not tellin' `em. They may not have seen first hand what happened, but they felt your pain as much as me an' Tamahome did. They have just as much right ta know how things are as we do, an' I'd hate ta hafta lie to `em.” At this, Miaka went rigid in my arms and I quickly tried reassurin' her. “Look, if it'll make ya feel better, I'll tell `em after ya bed down for the night- that way ya don't hafta answer any questions. I'll do my best ta tell `em what happened without goin' in ta much detail.”

 

I pulled back a bit ta look into her face, and grinned when I saw her acceptance. “Ok, now I'm gonna go huntin' and let ya finish your bath. Just don't use gravel to scrub; use the soapwort over there by that log. It'll get ya clean, but it won't hurt your skin.”

 

I pulled away and turned to let her finish bathin' when her arms went around me from behind. “Thank you Tasuki, I feel much better now.”

 

I awkwardly patted the arms that crossed in front of my waist, noticin' for the first time that she was naked. As she pressed close, I drew in a quick breath, silently urging' my  blood not to rush south to my pants. I tried to focus on Nakago, Tamahome, and the coldness of the water, the breeze stingin' my wet skin- anythin' but the feel of soft  breasts pushin' in ta my back.   

 

I must've made some kind of a noise because she pulled back suddenly and dropped down in the water, hiding her nakedness from view.

 

“We'll head out ta find the others in the mornin'. No sense in tryin' ta find `em in th' dark.” I said quickly, stompin' down hard on my disappointment at her lettin' go of me.

 

“A-alright. I'll be done in a few minutes.”

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 3rd person POV

 

 

Cold gray eyes watched the pair in the shallow pond, giving no hint of the anger that heated their owner's blood. The urge to kick some ass was strong, but his head told him to wait. There would be a better time to confront them, a time when he could confirm his accusations and throw it in their faces. To hurt her way she had hurt him. `I won't let that little tramp get away with playing around on me, and making me look like a fool. I'll show both of them the true meaning of heartbreak- and then I'm going to sit back and laugh!'

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 3rd person POV

 

 

We had all felt it; something terrible had happened to Miaka. Chichiri, Mitsukake and I agreed that we would leave out in the morning to bring our missing brothers and priestess back with all due haste.

 

Chichiri was meditating off to one side, away from Mitsukake and myself, while my other brother seishi dozed lightly a few feet in the other direction from me.

 

Things had gotten quiet after we felt the strong fear and pain emanating off of our priestess. I didn't understand what was wrong with Miaka; I just knew that she was hurting. My brothers seemed to understand what was going on, but had staunchly refused to elaborate when I asked them to explain.

 

All I could do was sit and wait for morning to come, my curiosity was eating me alive from the inside but I knew it would do no good to bother the other seishi with my questions.

 

Picking at the sparse foliage, I pulled a single leaf off of a nearby shrub. I had always been able to relax when singing and whistling, so it stood to reason that doing so now could help ease my troubled mind.

 

I began trying to lighten my mood by playing a favorite tune from my early childhood- `The Farmer in the Dell' After a couple of traditional renditions, both instrumental and vocal, sudden inspiration prompted me to play around with the words. A surge of hilarity almost overcame me as I set aside my leaf flute and began to sing in the style of the eldest Suzaku seishi.

 

“Konichi wa, no da! Konichi wa, no da! Ko-oh-oh- nichi wa, Konichi wa, no da!”

 

By the time I reached the end of the shortened song my voice was loud enough to have attracted the attention of the other camp inhabitants.

 

“Chiriko, are you teasing me, no da?” Chichiri laughed as he moved closer to me.

 

I grinned at him. “Konichi wa, no da! Konichi wa, no da! Ko-oh-oh- nichi wa, Konichi wa, no da!” I sang out.

 

Mitsukake's soft rumble of laughter mingled with Chichiri's as they joined in and sang along with me, and the rest of the night was filled with the lyrics of what was soon to be known as `Chichiri's Jingle'. Our hearts lighter, and our minds much clearer, we enjoyed our newfound camaraderie. Surely the power of our lifted spirits couldn't fail to transcend the distance between our priestess and us, I thought hopefully.

 

The evening wore on, and the intensity of Miaka's pain did seem to diminish. Chichiri, Mitsukake and I rejoiced at the lessening of her hurt, and continued to sing well into the night. By the time sleep claimed us, I felt much closer to her and to my brother seishi.

 

`Funny howbeingsillycandraw people together,and calm the most distraughtmind…' With that thought, I slipped into a peaceful slumber, unaware of the heartbreak that was soon to fill our midst.

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

So, some interesting developments- wonder what's going to happen? Will the gray-eyed man with anger in his heart succeed? What heartbreak could this vicious author have up her sleeve for the silly seishi? Well, you're just gonna have to tune in next time to find out.

Much love to my wonderful reviewers! “tacklehuggleglomps!” You're the best!

V.M.