Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Hell's Mirage ❯ Explainations ( Chapter 7 )

Highlighted areas are text changes. My comments are at the end of the chapter. ^_^

Lynne

 

Hell's Mirage

 

 

A/N: Hey minna! Well, looks like I finally got off my backside (yeah right, more like finally sat down!) and wrote another chapter. Hope you guys like it as much as the rest!

 

Tasuki: sets off fireworks Ya made it ta 1000 hits V.M.!

 

V.M.: looks at hit counter on ff.net, eyes go wide Wow! I really have had over 1000 hits for this fic! That's more hits than any other fic I've ever written combined!

 

Tasuki and V.M.: Thanks so much, minna! You guys sure do make our heads swell!

 

Beta Lynne: After reading `Taking Control', you leave me no choice but to make a hentai reference to Tasuki and his swelling head…**is giggling**

 

Tasuki: Shaddup!

 

Congrats on the 1000 hits! ^___^

 

 

 

Part G: Explanations

 

 

We had met up at the border where the land lost the last vestiges of green and sunk into open, arid desert. I had kept my seat with Tasuki, though I had had offers to share a horse with one of the others. I was still afraid that as soon as I changed horses I would be bombarded with questions. Questions that I had no intention of answering.

 

I had decided to let Tasuki be the one to break the news; cowardly of me, yes, but I really had no choice. If I thought about it for even one second, I knew I'd break down. I had to keep my mouth shut or risk losing their friendship as well as my tenuous grip on the nothingness I had forced myself to feel.

 

Outwardly, I was the bright and chipper priestess they all knew and liked, but inside I was cold and numb. Tasuki seemed to understand my need to act the genki miko and kept conversations well away from anything associated with the Seiryu seishi or the Shinzaho.

 

Chiriko taught me the `No Da!' song, as we affectionately called it, and singing it softly to myself helped keep my mind off of things I did not want to remember. Things like the warmth of the man behind me in the saddle, the gentle way his hand rested against my hip while the other held the reins and directed the horse, or the frightening epiphany that I was attracted to him.

 

No, I would not think of such things. I wouldn't think of anything but getting to Sairo, nothing mattered but that.

 

I knew that Mitsukake watched me warily from the corner of his eye as if I couldn't see him. He's quiet but observant, and he always seems to know when things aren't as great as I put them out to be. The look on his face says that he really wants to know what happened.

 

Well, that's too darn bad! I lost Tamahome the last time I told someone; I won't make that mistake again! I may not be as close to the healer as some of the others, but his opinion of me matters; all of their opinions matter because they are all risking their lives to help me! With that in mind, I will play the happy-go-lucky, greedy, unthinking girl they all know me to be for as long as it takes.

 

They've already asked about Tamahome, but Tasuki was quick to change the subject he knows I can't deal with that right now. The others seemed to accept that the subject is taboo and they leave it alone. I'm thankful for the reprieve.

 

“Miaka, are ya ready ta make camp?” His voice is soft and gentle, as if I were going to break if he spoke any louder.

 

Plastering a too bright grin on my face, I turned in the saddle. “Hai! I'm hungry, can we eat?”

 

He grimaced at my act, but didn't comment. Bless you, Tasuki.

 

“Oi, let's call it a night! We're beat, an' Mi-chan's hungry!” He called out as if things were really that simple. If I weren't so nervous around him I'd kiss him for making things as normal as possible. Though he'd deny it, I think Tasuki's going to make one very lucky woman deliriously happy one day.

 

oooo

 

We have made camp and everyone has eaten their fill; even Miaka has eaten. Much more slowly and far less than normal, but she still ate and that's what is important. Chichiri and Tasuki set up a tent for her on the other side of the fire and she has retired for the night.

 

The poor girl tried so hard to act like nothing had happened, but we could all see the shadows under her eyes and that the sparkle in them had vanished. Tasuki has been the picture of restraint; he knows something and wants to tell us but is holding his tongue until Miaka and Chiriko have gone to sleep. I get the feeling that what he has to tell us is very grave, and I also have an idea of what it is.

 

I hope I'm wrong.

 

Tasuki glanced in to the tent to be sure that she was sleeping before motioning us to the fireside, his expression grim and his usual air of joyful ignorance is absent.

 

Not a good sign.

 

“So, where should I start?” he kept his voice low, making us strain to hear him.

 

Chichiri pulled off his mask and laid it to the side, “What happened to her, no da?”

 

Tasuki sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “We think Nakago raped her.” He hesitated for a moment but pushed on before we could ask anything else. “She thinks it's her fault. I don't know where she got the idea but she went ta th' camp and tried to trade herself fer th' Shinzaho. She chickened out and tried ta leave but Nakago wouldn't let her.”

 

Hearing this was like a punch in the stomach. Our sweet and innocent priestess had tried to exchange her body for a holy relic. Where in the world had she gotten the idea, and why would she choose that route? As far as I knew, she thought that being intimate with someone meant holding their hand and kissing them on the mouth!

 

Shaking off my thoughts, I tried to force back the anger that Tasuki's words evoked.

 

“Tamahome did what?” Chichiri's voice rose in anger and disbelief. “I can't believe he would do that! Why would he turn his back on her when she needed him most?”

 

Tasuki blushed but answered. “He thought that I'd slept with Miaka. That's why he called her a tramp.”

 

I found my voice before Chichiri could. “Why would he think that? You two haven't been alone together since Kutou!”

 

His blush darkened. “Before any of that happened she had asked me some questions `bout men and desire. I thought it was for Tama, so I told her how ta make herself look enticin' to a man and held her like a lover would, but that's it. I held her close fer a minute then went ta get my coat back on. When I got back she was gone. When me an' Tama got her awake the next mornin', I yelled at `er and said I shouldn't a shown her what she wanted ta know. He took it wrong.”

 

I sighed and shook my head, what a mess!

 

“Hey Mits, c'n ya check `er and see if she's…er, she said that she didn't hurt uh, where she should've. Maybe th' bastard didn't get th' time ta do his worst. Gives us some hope, ne?”

 

I nodded. “I'll check her out tomorrow before we leave. But for right now, I'd say we all need to rest, we have a long day ahead of us.” I stood from the fireside and wandered over to the pallet I shared with Chiriko. The poor boy was worn out and had fallen asleep before Miaka had.

 

Thank Suzaku for small favors.

 

Oooo

 

I sat by th' fire `till everyone else was asleep, because I didn't want them ta see where I was going.

 

I opened th' tent flap an' went inside, duckin' low ta keep from hittin' my head and lay down with Miaka. She rolled over in her sleep an' lay against my chest, wrappin' her arm around my waist.

 

I smiled down at her. It made me feel good that she trusted me enough ta be able ta sleep on me that way. I tightened my arms `round her and settled in fer a short nap. I knew I wouldn't be able ta sleep th' whole night, but I could make sure that if she had nightmares, I could be there if she needed me.

 

As I drifted off I could'a swore I heard her say my name, but I couldn't be sure as sleep was tuggin' me down. I kissed her forehead an' then gave in to the insistent pull.

 

 

 

Oooo

 

 

I awoke wrapped tightly in someone's arms and froze for a moment. The feel of naked skin under my cheek making me panic before the scent of fire and cinnamon told me who was holding me.

 

Tasuki! Oh gods, what is he doing in here? I raised my head and looked down in to a face that had haunted my sleep. I was surprised that he had been in my dreams instead of Nakago and his vile intentions as they had been for the last few days before we had caught up with the rest of the seishi.

 

What surprised me more was the content of those dreams. I had dreamed of his hesitating advice and his gentle embrace but instead of pulling away as he had truly done, he pulled me closer and kissed me. The dreams had been so real that I could almost feel the imprint of his lips on mine, and taste the spiciness of his tongue.

 

He was sleeping peacefully, his soft snores attesting to that fact. He mumbled in his sleep and tightened his grip around me, smiling softly for a moment as his dreams captured him again.

 

Then suddenly, he rolled over, pinning me beneath his hard frame. I froze again, holding my breath as he wiggled and scooted to rest his head against my belly. Tucking his hands under my backside, he hugged my lower half and grinned in his sleep.

 

He was too cute.

 

I smiled and gently brushed my hands through his surprisingly soft hair, watching in sleepy fascination as the silky strands curled around my fingers, surprised yet again by his response.

 

He was nuzzling his nose against my belly, placing soft kisses to the thin material at my hip, and kneading the flesh of my backside! I squirmed, a little uncomfortable with the way he was moving my sleep shirt up and cupping my bottom.

 

A soft sigh escaped him and he stilled. “Mi-chan?”

 

I stayed as still as I possibly could, feigning sleep. I slit my eyes and watched as he gently disentangled himself from me and flopped over on to his back at my side.

 

A hand covered his face and he groaned.

 

“This ain't right. I gotta stop this, she's hurt an' afraid a men. She ain't lookin' fer anythin' other than comfort.” He sat up and looked down at me; I hoped he thought I was still asleep. “After we find out if yer still pure, I'll go find Tama. He's th' one ya need; not some dumbass bandit who's terrified ya hate `im. I swear Mi-chan, I'll never touch ya again.”

 

He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my lips and rolled away from me.

 

NO! I don't want that! I don't want you to leave me, not now! Not when I'm starting to feel something other than the hurt and betrayal!

 

Uttering what I hoped sounded like a sleepy grumble, I rolled against his broad back and snuggled against it. He sighed and scooted away again, running away from my touch as I had run away from the heat he had invoked when we first met.

 

Determined to keep him with me, I scooted and rolled until he was trapped against the side of the tent. He had two choices; get up and leave or let me lay against him. I prayed he'd choose the latter.

 

 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

 

That's it for now. ::super huge grin::

 

LOVE!

 

V.M.