Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ In Dreams ❯ Chapter 16 ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I own no Fushigi Yuugi Chararcters, Places or Ideas.

In Dreams
Chapter 16

"I'm fine with the present. My problem is that I'm drowning in the past."-Sarah Moss

Tarakai wiped away her tears when she heard footsteps coming from the encampment behind her. She unwound herself and stood up, rubbing her knees that were slightly stiff from staying bent like that for too long. She began to slowly smooth out her clothing, taking special care to dust off her surcoat. By the time that the servant reached her, she was presentable, or as much as she could be after crying so hard. The young man had oddly vacant eyes as he handed her a small cup of sake. Tarakai took it with narrowed eyes. She knew that there was a reason that she shouldn't drink it, but she couldn't remember what it was, so she just let the thought go before draining the small cup and handing it back to the servant who walked away without a single word. She watched him go with an odd expression before turning back to the "creek."

She walked along the bone dry bank for a while, but eventually came to a small oasis that consisted of one small wilted tree and a tiny patch of grass that looked like it wouldn't survive an overly strong breeze, let alone the high desert winds. She gratefully moved into the meager shade, even though the temperature change wasn't even noticeable. Just as she looked down to the sand to examine the length of the tree's shadow, it disappeared, enveloped within a larger one. She stepped forward curiously and then looked up at the sky, which was suddenly dark with heavy grey clouds. She looked around and out into the desert and found that her once clear vision was impaired by the darkness and a red mist spreading from her mind into her eyes. She jumped back, shocked. She rubbed her eyes to try and clear them, but halfway through the motion, she was assaulted with a striking, stabbing pain in her head.

She raised her hands to her temples as she cried out in pain, falling to her knees when her muscles spasmed. Bright lights flashed in front of her mind's eye, as her physical ones were shut tightly against the overwhelming pain. She began to whimper as pictures and words from her forgotten past flashed through her mind.

"...Don't you dare lie to me you little bitch, you have plenty of friends, you can't be lonely." A phantom pain spread along the side of her face, causing her to lower her left hand to her burning cheek.

Very slowly the pain faded, she opened her eyes once again. She could see her arms in the dim light and so she slowly stood up again, resting one palm against the tree. Her mind was still flashing through false memories and words, which was confusing her horribly, but eventually she was able to understand what had just happened, "Damn it, Miboshi! You little mind stealing cretin! You drugged me! I'll make you pay for this!" But just as she yelled the words, she was sent back to her knees, a scream of pain escaping her as the bright light flashes returned.

She clutched her head, trying to fight through the doubled pain. She lost all sense of her surroundings as the pain pulsed in time with her heart, her mind sending her images of her mother's sneering face.

"...Ha, as if I would help you. I don't owe you anything you little bastard, you cost me too much by being born as it is..."

It was even slower to fade the second time around. She stayed on her knees this time, bracing herself off of the ground with her arms stretched before her. The visions had been so real, the words so clear. They echoed in her head and brought a long ignored pain back into her heart and waking thoughts.

"...Why do you even try, you know you will fail, so why embarass me?"

All of her suppressed memories of her early childhood and hell on earth under her mother, came rushing to the fore, making her forget the person she had fought so hard to grown into, out of the pain. She fought back tears caused by the feelings and shoved them back down into the depths of her heart, where she could hope to forget them once more...

"...I wish you were never born, you ugly brat!"

Once her sight cleared again, she saw that it had started raining, heavy drops falling from the sky and leaving darkened marks in the sand. When she noticed that she was getting soaked, even though she was completely underneath the tree, she corrected her understatement to that it was pouring rather than simply "raining". She scuttled back towards the withered tree and then stayed kneeling, as close to the trunk as she could. She felt the strength of her will stretch to its limits as she fought back the tears that were raging inside and demanding to be released. Her surcoat was now almost soaked through, but she barely gave it a thought, presentable or not didn't matter at this point, at least the sand hadn't turned into mud and made her miserable as well as wet.

She cried out as her pounding in her head returned, but, thankfully, this time it was not accompanied by visions and sounds from her pain wrought past. She closed her eyes in any case, trying to shake off her headache. The brief scenes that she had seen were, once again, fighting their way to the surface, causing her emotional pain to go with the physical stunning that she had. It was then, leaning forward and holding her head in one hand, the other holding her torso from the ground, the sound of the rain drowning out all else, that she felt a touch around her shoulders. Her eyes snapped open and she cautiously raised her head. Her gaze was met by two concerned violet eyes, looking slightly down at her. For a timeless instant she looked into they eyes. Those that were so dear to her, yet almost forgotten. The swirling emotions that she saw mirrored from her eyes to his gave her all of the incentive she needed to throw her arms around him.

"Oh, Ami-chan, I don't understand..." She gave a small sigh in relief when his arms tightened around her shoulders and back. This, at least, made sense to Jennifer. Amiboshi loved her, she could feel it. He would explain everything and it would be okay. She felt like she should be ashamed of herself; she had thrown herself at him. But... In the eyes of people that knew her and that she trusted, which were a sore few, this was her normal self, the girl behind the mask. She cried silently into his neck. He was soaked to the skin, and colder than she was, but his presence itself negated any discomfort. Within the circle of his arms and protection, she finally felt in her heart that it was safe enough to cry. Safe enough to show her true emotions without the slightest fear of judgment or repulsion. What he gave her was more than love; it was trust.

The pain of constant rejection and abuse faded in the light of his trust. Never again would she be left to stand alone when her words spoke only truth. Not once more would failure taint the light of her achievements. The iced wall of loneliness melt slowly as she cried, immersed in the protective aura he placed around her. His murmured words gave life to the softer emotions that had so long been buried beneath the pain and lost under old scars.

Her mind, however, fought her heart. Whispering piercing words from the past, saying things she couldn't believe.

"Twice your heart and trust were broken, they may not survive a third..."

She refused to believe what her mind said. The mantra had spun through enough times for her to know that it was sabotaging her own happiness.

"What you don't have can never be stolen..."

"No..." She said, more through her mind than her mouth, "I will not believe..." The unspoken words signaled a release within her. Though her tears stilled flowed, they were of relief, not a trace of pain lingered.

After a few minutes her tears finally stopped, though she didn't move from her place in Amiboshi's arms, nor did he push her away. She sighed, feeling much better, and looked over his shoulder into the rain drenched desert. The fresh scent of the washed air helped to clear her sinuses. After taking a few deep breaths, she relaxed back into him only to feel him gently move her head out the crook between his shoulder and neck. She pulled back her head, as he wanted, and looked into his face again. He was smiling and his violet eyes twinkled in the dim stormy light.

"Welcome back Jenn." He reached up one hand and carefully moved a strand of wet hair out of her face. She unconsciously moved to his touch. "We missed you... I missed you. I thought I would die when I saw you before... As Tarakai... In love with Shun..." He closed his eyes and looked away from her momentarily, before turning back and cupping her cheek in his hand, "But you're back now. And you're yourself..."

She stared deeply into his eyes and saw the roiling emotions in them. Jennifer was sure that her's could not look any more orderly... Her mind blanked out then, leaving her to depend solely on instinct. She slid her arm out from behind him and tenderly moved his sopping bangs out of his face. She skimmed her fingers along his cheek bone, until her hand was in the same position as his was on her. "I am..." Nothing else needed to be said between them then. They could feel what the other felt; stupid token or not, they were linked inseparably. As Jennifer looked into his face she felt everything flowing away. All of her fear that love wasn't real, all of the loneliness and pain that came from insecurity and her inability to trust people. It all faded away, as they both kneeled there in the rain. Soaked and emotionally drained, but not caring.

She leaned her face into his palm and when he mimicked the action, they both broke into silly, relieved grins. Jenn just couldn't believe that he was really there and real and actually holding her to himself.

Only in her dreams had she felt this before; this powerful feeling that was consuming her. Only in her dreams had she dared get this close to someone. He tightened his arm that was still around her back, drawing her fully against him. Her own hand that was still around him tightened its grip, pulling Amiboshi's collar down just the slightest bit, but enough so that his blazing mark of Seiryu showed through, illuminating them both. Then he shifted his hand, tilting her head, just the tiniest bit, before lowering his lips to hers.

Only in dreams...

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Mark turned his head back to face Mari-chan. She only sat there stunned, blinking owlishly. He saw as she looked around without moving her head, as if she was trying discern if it was actually real. Mark began to brace himself mentally. If she didn't believe him... Well, all he would get for his going to the trouble of telling her the truth would be a one way trip to the loony bin. He watched as she reached around and began to dig through the junk in the back seat of her car. She moved as if she was in a trance. She finally pulled back and revealed a small black leather bound book inscribed with asian characters.

"Universe of the Four Gods, as in Book of the Four Gods, as in Fushigi Yuugi?" She narrowed her eyes at him, waving the book slightly. Mark swallowed hard.

"I'm not really sure, but I think so..." He stuttered as he spoke and he glanced worriedly between the book and Marissa's face. She finally sighed and turned away, hiding her expression from him. She then opened her door and stepped out. Mark followed the suit and climbed out, pulling the door closed behind himself. He went up to Marissa's house when she gestured for him to follow her in. She led him to the kitchen where she plopped down in one of the chairs, throwing the book in the table in front of her.

He cautiously sat down across from her at the table. He still wasn't sure if she was going tell him he was crazy or believe him. He watched as she rubbed her temples wearily and then pulled the book in front of herself. She opened the back cover and carefully turned the old, yellowed pages. Mark narrowed his eyes as he watched her. She was turning more pages than should be in a book that small. Eventually she reached a part in the book where half of the page was clear of the characters, but his eyes widened as he watched the neat script begin to appear magically on the page.

"I thought that there was just something wrong with my book, since I believed it was only a copy of the translation, but it seems I was wrong and you were right. She's really gone into the book. One way or another..." Mark swallowed again.

"What do you mean? What is that book?"

"This is the Japanese translation of the Book of the Four gods. The original was held by Miaka and Yui when they were first transported into the World. When a friend of mine was studying abroad on Japan she found this and bought it for me. I thought that it was just a copy of the one that had transported the girls, but it seems now that it's not." She stood up from the table then and Mark just looked up at her, confused. "Come on."

She led him up to her room, which was clean for once, and pulled a few manga off of one of the shelves. She opened the first one and flipped a few pages before handing it to him. "Here. This is where she came into the world. Right after Amiboshi broke his fingers." She handed him the next one and showed him the pictures, even though he had not the slightest clue as to what the words meant. "This is what was supposed to have happened. Suboshi was supposed to come up the dune here and kill Tomo, but since Jenn was there, it threw everyone's balance off and Nakago was able to restrain Suboshi from leaving the encampment, or something, I'm not sure."

Mark took the book and looked at the pictures, they were vaguely familar, but he supposed that they should be seeing as how he practically lived in that world. "What did happen is that Tamahome showed up and since Tomo was only unconscious rather than dead, it took the others a longer time to wake up, so they met half way."

Mark held up his hand to stop her narration, "I know that. For some reason, I can see what happens there when I sleep. What I want to know, is what happens later, and how in the world she got there in the first place. She told me before when she was trying to get me to read those that the girl, Miaka, got in thorugh the book, but so far as I know, there was no book involved when she disappeared."

Marissa looked at him with a curious expression, as if she'd never seen him before. Added onto his already stressful day it was unnerving. "I have an idea... But we'll have to test it first." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the room.