Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Learning to Heal ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

When they arrived, the Nyan-Nyans took Tasuki and immediately placed him in stasis while they tried to heal him. The bandit had was bleeding internally, and a broken rib had pierced his lung in addition to his other injuries. As serious as these were, Nyan-Nyan should have been able to bring him out of danger in the better part of a day. However, despite their best efforts, the broken body refused to mend.

 

On the second day, Taiitsukun appeared beside a despairing Chichiri as he sat in his vigil, unable to touch Tasuki through the stasis bubble. He did not even turn his head to look at her. “I can't lose him now, not like this,” he whispered.

 

Taiitsukun sighed. “You know why they can't heal him.”

 

A tear escaped Chichiri's eye, and he spoke from a place of utter desolation. “Of all of us, he was the one who felt the most, and that's what made him strong. Until now; now it's killing him. Just being physically intimate with someone he didn't love was distasteful to him. And now that he's been raped… he can't live with it. He wants to die. Dammit,” he spat, “it's like Kouran all over again!”

 

Taiitsukun closed her eyes and turned her head to the ground as Chichiri's tears continued to fall.

 

When she spoke, it was with great hesitancy. “Chichiri, there is another way. We can give him the choice.”

 

Chichiri finally raised his horror-stricken eye to meet hers. “Take him out of stasis? But… it's all that's keeping him alive!”

 

“I know. But if you can remind him of why he should stay in this world, then he may allow himself to be healed. It's the only way, and you know it. If he stays in stasis, he will be alive, but he will never awaken.”

 

Chichiri got up out of his chair, and walked slowly to the window. “You know that if he doesn't survive this, I won't either.”

 

Taiitsukun's answer was only a little surprising. “I know. Losing Kouran and Hikou almost killed you years ago. I know you couldn't live through that again.”

 

Chichiri turned from the window, and gave her a small smile. “Well, what are we waiting for, no da?”

_________________________________________________________________ _____________

The Nyan-Nyans moved Tasuki's body onto the bed in Chichiri's room before they removed the stasis bubble. They began to dress his wounds as best the could to give Chichiri a little more time before the bandit's life faded.

 

`It's nice to be back here, despite the reason,' Chichiri thought. Years ago, in his first year of residency on Mt. Taikyoku, Chichiri had thrown a fit, angry with Taiitsukun for spying on him all the time. She had told him, in no uncertain terms, that she would continue to `spy' on him until he stopped her. He worked for two weeks straight on learning how to put up barriers at will, and he finally figured out how to make a permanent one. He threw a barrier over his room that day, and Taiitsukun had rewarded him by whapping him over the head and telling him that it was about time.

 

But hopefully the barrier, which was a part of Chichiri's own energy, would provide safety and familiarity for Tasuki. The Nyan-Nyans filed out of the room, quiet for once. One the way out, the last one paused and looked up at Chichiri. She gave him a small smile, and said, “I know that if anyone can save him Chiri-chan, it's you.”

 

Then she left the room, and he was alone with Tasuki. He raised the barrier, and set about to his work of convincing the fiery bandit to live.

_________________________________________________________________ _____________

Chichiri gathered the bandit close to him, mindful of all the bandages and bruises marring the beautiful skin. He began to speak, telling Tasuki anything, everything that came to his mind, just trying to bring his mind back from the trauma he suffered. He spoke for hours as the bandit seemed to slip further and further away from him.

 

Finally, as Tasuki's breathing became more and more labored, desperation set in. “Tasuki, please, please come back!” The monk cried. “You were willing to kill yourself to save me, and now I need you to live to save me, because if you die, I will not survive!”

 

Chichiri's tears began to fall on the too-pale face. “For years now you've trusted me with your life. You even trusted me with your heart when you accepted my love. If you've ever believed in me, believe in me now! I can save you, I will save you if you'll only open your eyes, beloved! Come back to me; I will fill the hole in your heart, and I will make the pain go away any way I can, the same as you did for me!”

 

The body sheltered by his own gave a small shudder, but Chichiri was too far away in his grief to feel it. He felt a faint touch on his cheek, and opened his eye in disbelief to find two shining amber ones returning his gaze. “Heard ya, Chiri-love. Stay with me?” the bandit asked, brokenly. Chichiri barely had a moment to touch the unbroken hand on his cheek and whisper back, “Always,” before Tasuki's eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out again.

 

Chichiri didn't miss a beat in lowering the barrier around the room enough for the Nyan-Nyans to rush in. The monk held his breath as the they began to try and heal the bandit. And then, after a few seconds, a joyful Nyan-Nyan let out a whoop. “It's working, it's working!”

 

The monk wept out of pure relief and held tighter to the bandit in his arms. He vowed that during his healing, he would not leave Tasuki's side. And the Nyan-Nyans never asked him to.

_________________________________________________________________ _____________

The healing took most of the day. When the Nyan-Nyans tired, they switched off with each other. When they began to heal the damage caused by the rape, Chichiri had to hold Tasuki still as he began to cry out and struggle. Before it was all over, both Chichiri and the Nyan-Nyans were in tears.

 

So focused on Tasuki, the monk barely took notice when the glow of the Nyan-Nyan's healing magic slowly faded. Before they padded lightly out of the room, they cast a light sleeping compulsion over the exhausted monk. They knew that their Chiri-chan would spend the entire night awake and watching the bandit sleep otherwise. They also knew that Tasuki would need him well rested and ready to deal with the aftermath when he awoke.

 

“Rest well tonight, and help heal each other tomorrow,” Nyan-Nyan whispered as Chichiri fell into a deep and restful sleep.

_________________________________________________________________ _____________

Chichiri awoke abruptly in the morning to the sound of Tasuki's screams. He gathered the younger man closer to him, and began to gently shake him awake while calling his name.

 

The amber eyes flew open to meet Chichiri's concerned gaze. Tasuki's terror began to give way to unrestrained grief and utter desolation. He closed his eyes to try and get some semblance of control over his rampaging emotions, but he was failing. He began to turn his head away from the monk just as the tears began to slide down his face. A gentle hand to his cheek stopped him. He wouldn't lift his head, but he opened his eyes.

 

“Chiri? I think I should go, ya know, back to the guys. Koji's prob'ly runnin' em into the ground and --” he broke off in a choked sob, unable to finish. Chichiri gently lifted Tasuki's head, forcing the bandit to meet his eyes. There were tears in his eye when he spoke.

 

“Please, don't run away from this. I promised to save you, to get you through this, and I mean to. I'm not going anywhere. But the only way to get through this is to face it. I don't think you realize just how strong you are, but if you just apply that strength to this, we will be well, no da.”

 

Tasuki's eyes blazed at this. “If I'm so damned strong, then how could I let this happen!? I just stood there while they beat the crap outta me, and then ta top it all off, I let Deion rape me!”

 

Tasuki pulled angrily away from Chichiri and turned away from the monk. It felt good just to have an emotion burning in him other than the constant grief and despair that had smothered him. “I just couldn't break the damn paralysis… I could barely talk, let alone move. I thought I was gettin' somewhere when those goons started beatin' on me, and they just broke everythin' I was startin' ta be able to move.

 

“And Deion… he didn't just rape me, he tortured me first. He kissed me, shoved his fuckin' tongue down my throat, `an I couldn't even bite the damned thing outta his mouth. Said that he liked to hear his victims scream, and that he'd been lookin' forward to `spending time with me' since he first saw me. That I tasted sweet, and that you'd never know. He dug his damned hands inta every fuckin' bruise, every cut, every broken bone on me tryin' to make me yell, but I wouldn't do it. After a while, he got really pissed off, and he said he'd make me scream. He got behind me, ripped my pants off, an…”

 

Tasuki choked. “I didn't know anythin' could hurt so much… He tore me apart! But I didn't scream until he… until he came. I couldn't handle knowin' he was inside me like that, but knowin' that he'll always be there… Gods, I can still feel him!

 

“What he took from me, I only ever wanted ta give to one person, and now it's too late! How the hell 're ya gonna want me after seein' me like that, like this! So ya see?! It's better if I just go!”

 

The room was silent. Tasuki couldn't even hear Chichiri breathing. `Maybe he's already left.' Despair began to overtake the anger to devour him again as he buried his head in his hands, until a ragged voice behind him startled him out of it.

 

“Tasuki, you idiot!”

 

Tasuki tensed, and turned to face the monk, unable to understand why his friend was so angry. Chichiri was crying. “Chiri?”

 

“You blame yourself for this? Why? The toxin on the dart they shot you with was a kodoku derivative. I've seen it keep men paralyzed for a week, but you threw off its hold in hours; it's incredible! And you didn't let him rape you; when you screamed, I felt it! All the pain, the frustration, the denial, I felt it all.”

 

The wing seishi seemed to crumble even further. “You felt that? Then why did ya still come for me?”

 

“Because I love you Tasuki!” Chichiri realized that the wing seishi still wasn't able to hear him through all the pain, so he took a deep breath to try and center himself, and tried another way. “When I teleported into the room, the first thing I saw was you, about to finish saying the incantation that would have burned you to death. A few seconds later, and it would have been too late; you would have killed yourself.” `Why?' the monk thought.

 

Tasuki heard the unasked question. “Deion kept sayin' that he wanted to destroy ya. Said he'd let ya see me `broken and used,'” Tasuki spat out the words. “Then he'd kill me right in front of you, and kill ya while you were too upset to fight back. In my head, there was too much of a chance he'd be able to get ya, so I did the only thing I could. They were gonna kill me when you got there, and I couldn't stop `em. The only thing I could do was make sure ya wouldn't find me like that.” He looked at Chichiri without any regrets. “I couldn't let `em kill ya, Chiri. I love you too much; I'd die before I let that happen.”

 

“Tasuki…” Chichiri moved to sit closer to the bandit. “You were willing to die for me because you love me. Deion would never have targeted you if he didn't know how important you are to me, but you don't even blame me.”

 

Tasuki was genuinely confused by this. “Why would I blame ya for what that sicko did?”

 

“Tasuki, if you can't blame me, then you are not to blame either.” He took Tasuki's face gently in his hands. “Don't you see? You're just as beautiful to me now as you were before all this happened. He didn't take anything away from who you are; no one ever could!”

 

The bandit tried to look away, but Chichiri would not let him go. Indecision was plain to see in his features. He wanted to believe what Chichiri was telling him, but how could he possibly be the same person he was before he was raped? How could he be the same person that Chichiri confessed his love for and kissed?

 

`The kiss! When Chiri kissed me, it felt like everything just went right all of a sudden. If he's right, then it should still be like that, if he really still wants me…'

 

Tasuki crossed the few inches between them with no more than a second's hesitation. He sealed his lips to Chichiri's, just praying that the monk would understand. When the monk didn't respond right away, he pulled back with pleading in his amber eyes. “When you called me back, you said you could make it stop. Please, now!”

 

Chichiri was in shock. When Tasuki kissed him, his first instinct was to react with all the passion he had so meticulously restrained over the last few years.

 

Instead, he ruthlessly held himself back. `He can't possibly know what he's asking for, not right now!' When Tasuki finally pulled away, the look on his face damn near broke Chichiri's heart.

 

“Tasuki, I want nothing more than to wipe every trace of that monster off of you, but…” He broke off as a wave of possessiveness threatened to overtake him, but he used all his hard-won control to fight it back down.

 

“The Nyan-Nyans weren't able to heal you completely; I don't want to hurt you any more than you have been.” The evidence of the attack could still be clearly seen on the bandit's body. The fading bruises that still marked his tanned skin were all that remained of numerous broken bones, internal bleeding, and brutal restraint. But Tasuki wanted this; no, he needed it…

 

Tasuki saw that the older seishi was wavering. “You've seen me survive worse than what I got now! The pain is nothing compared ta this feelin' like I'm dyin' inside!”

 

The last of Chichiri's resolve faded. Having this beautiful man before him, practically begging to be taken was just too much. Tasuki needed this if he was ever going to survive the tortures inflicted upon him.

 

With a low growl that made the younger man shiver, Chichiri roughly pushed Tasuki back on the bed, covering the bandit's body with his own. He kissed the bandit thoroughly, eradicating any memory of Deion's unwanted kiss.

 

His hands, meanwhile, were not idle. They covered every inch of damaged flesh they could reach. The newly healed skin on his wrists, cruelly inflicted fading bite marks, the memory of broken bones, all were systematically wiped away.

 

Tasuki could scarcely believe what was happening to him. He'd never felt himself responding like this before. He felt torn between asking Chichiri to stop so he could regain some sense of himself, and begging him to never, ever stop.

 

Chichiri had no such dilemma. He was enthralled by the mewls and groans that Tasuki was making, and was doing everything in his power to bring out more, paying particular attention to a small spot on the right of the bandit's neck, which caused him to squirm deliciously.

 

“Chiri, more, please, now! I don't think I can take much more `a this!”

 

Both of their pants were in a pile on the floor so quickly that, had Tasuki been able to think, he would have suspected the monk of teleporting them there. As it was, however, he could only moan at the feel of their erections sliding together, unable to stop himself from arching up into the contact.

 

Chichiri ground his hips into Tasuki's, eliciting another groan before sliding down Tasuki's body, pausing to nip at the firm, tanned flesh as he went. He took a moment to sit up and admire the view before him, since he took such great pains to miss seeing it whenever the two traveled together. “Beautiful…” he whispered.

 

Some of Tasuki's good humor chose that moment to reassert itself. “You just gonna look all day, or are ya gonna do somethin'?” Chichiri met the younger man's slight smirk with one of his own before mumbling something about horny bandits before bending to take his throbbing cock in his mouth.

 

Tasuki's hips bucked up involuntarily, and he cried out at the sensation. Chichiri's lips curled upward into a smile around the thick organ as he continued to suck in long, slow slides up and down.

 

The pressure building inside Tasuki was too intense; he knew that he wasn't going to last much longer this way. “Chiri, stop, stop!”

 

The urgency in Tasuki's voice broke the fog of arousal, and stopped him. “What is it, love?”

 

“I- I want you inside `a me.”

 

Chichiri answered his request by smiling and sliding up the bandit's body until they were face to face again. “Soon. Besides,” he said as he rocked his hips rhythmically against Tasuki's as he groaned, “there's something I want to see first.” He leaned close to the bandit's ear and whispered “Let it go, come for me”

 

“But…” The monk ground his hips down, increasing the friction between them and caused Tasuki to throw his head back and cry out. “Trust me,” he continued, “open your eyes and look at me. Show me what you've never shown anyone else.”

 

How could he resist? As he looked into Chichiri's eye, he let the heat from his orgasm overtake him. When he finally recovered, Chichiri was still watching him, smiling. “See? Beautiful.”