Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Legend ~ Book One: Girl of Legend ❯ Fourteen: Dude Looks Like a Lady! ( Chapter 14 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

   "Lady KC?" Mei Lin approached her Priestess, fidgety and nervous. "Um … L-Lady, if you wish for a bath, there is a pretty little natural pool located just outside the Seraglio. It is generally unused, as there is a much nicer bath built within the Seraglio's walls, but the water is clean and warm. Perhaps you would care to bathe there?"

   KC looked at her in surprise. "What's wrong with the one I've been using?"

   "Oh, n-nothing. I thought of it because Lady Kou-Nuriko often used it and preferred it over the inside bath. It is very private, you see. She very much likes her privacy." Mei Lin fidgeted again, eyes lowered. KC could have sworn she looked nervous. Almost … guilty. It piqued her curiosity.

   "Well, one place is as good as another, I guess. Since you recommend it, I'll try it out. Can you show me where it is?"

   "Yes, I'll take you there. It is a bit difficult to find if one doesn't know where to look, thus the reason why Lady Nuriko preferred it. Also, there is not much room for handmaidens, so I shall not have any attend you."

   "That's fine with me!" KC had yet to convince any of the handmaidens to let her clean herself, so bathing had become an embarrassing event that she did not look forward to. "Just make sure to tell me which lotions I'm supposed to use where. Wouldn't want to end up with my head smelling like foot cream or something."

   Mei Lin giggled, albeit a bit nervously, as she gathered the needed supplies into a basket. She led KC from the room and across the palace grounds toward a large, handsome building lit with late-afternoon sunlight. KC saw several exceedingly beautiful, well-dressed women lounging about the open windows and elaborate terraces, like so many spoiled cats. Hotohori's prospective brides, she realized. They were gorgeous, but they all looked stuck-up to her. He'd never be happy with them, she thought decidedly. They were too in love with his money and his power. They'd never see him for himself, just like he'd told her.

   Poor Hotohori. He must really be desperate if he's willing to settle for me, just to make sure he doesn't end up with one of them.

   A flash of movement in an upper window drew her attention. She glanced up and nearly had a heart attack when a shock of bright purple hair in a lovely profile caught her eye. What was Nuriko doing there? Hadn't she been dismissed?

   Then the woman turned, and KC realized with surprise that it wasn't Nuriko, after all. The similarities were astonishing, but the woman's eyes were the wrong color, and she looked far sweeter and more serene than Nuriko had ever looked. Their eyes met, and the lady nodded politely. KC blushed at being caught staring and nodded back before she hurried after Mei Lin.

   "Who was that?" she breathlessly asked the little maid.

   "That was Lady Houki. She is another consort. Lady Kour-Nuriko's good friend." Mei Lin smiled. "I like her. She is very kind. I think she must be lonely without Lady Nuriko to keep her company."

   "They aren't related, are they?"

   "I do not believe so."

   "They could be sisters! One woman with that hair is amazing enough, but two?"

   "Lady Houki has not been in the Seraglio for very long, only a few months or so. Lady Nuriko took her under her wing immediately. She protects her from the viciousness of the other consorts, as well. Lady Houki is a bit timid, you see. She would not have lasted long in that place without her."

   "Nuriko? Being protective?" KC found that very hard to imagine.

   "I believe … Lady Houki reminds her of someone she loved very much in the past. She mentioned it one time, but did not specify."

   "You didn't ask who?"

   "Oh, no! That would have been most impertinent!" Mei Lin looked horrified at the idea.

   "Hmmm." KC looked over her shoulder at the window. Houki had disappeared. "She won't be bullied now, will she? Without Nuriko being there?"

   "I do not believe so. I heard Lady Nuriko made it very clear that there would be dire consequences inflicted upon anyone who dared harm Lady Houki in her absence. The others fear Lady Nuriko too greatly to ever dare tempt her wrath."

   KC laughed. "Can't say I blame them. That woman's a terror!"

   "But you do not fear her, even when she is so vexed with you." Mei Lin sounded a bit awed as she spoke.

   "Well…" KC scratched her head. "Nuriko may be a haughty, stuck-up brat, but I don't think she's a bad person. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's really getting on my nerves and I'd like nothing more than to give her a good punch in her pretty little nose. But at the same time, I can't help feeling sorry for her. She really loves the emperor and he won't give her the time of day. And now, because I showed up, she lost her best chance to win him. I can understand her feelings. Her whole life has suddenly changed and the only one she has to blame is me. She's been reduced from a court princess to what basically amounts as a servant. It probably seriously bruised her ego."

   "Oh, the Seishi are not servants! They are honored warriors sent to protect Your Eminence from harm, so you might all save Konan. She should be proud to have been chosen for such an honor!" Mei Lin protested.

   "Yeah, well, I get the feeling she doesn't quite see it that way."

   Mei Lin abruptly slowed her pace, placed a cautious finger to her lips. They had arrived at the end of the building, where bushes grew thickly. She pointed to a little trail just barely visible through the shrubbery. "Follow this a little way, and it will take you to the bath. Be silent, though."

   "How come?" KC whispered back, even as she wondered why she was whispering.

   Mei Lin handed her the basket and a robe. "You do not wish for … her to hear you coming," she said mysteriously, and without another word turned and scurried away.

   "Ho-kaaay. That was random." KC shook her head and turned to regard the trail warily. She was starting to have second thoughts. On the other hand, she'd already come all this way. It'd be sort of pointless to go back now without washing off. Huffing a sigh, she pushed her way into the bushes and headed toward the pool.

   She could hear faint splashing as she got closer, like pouring water, and wondered if there was a waterfall. Mei Lin had said it was natural, right? But a waterfall meant there had to be a cliff somewhere, and as far as she could see, the only things around this part of the palace were the slightly-overgrown bushes and trees.

   She found the pool quite abruptly. Or rather, she found the screened enclosure surrounding it. It looked a bit out-of-repair with several holes in the woven bamboo strips, and moss and wild ivy growing across the wooden frames. This bath was set up much like hers, with the screens and the openness of it, but the floor was natural bedrock and a strong scent of sulfur suffused the air that the fragrance of burning incense couldn't quite disguise.

   KC was about to step around the screen when movement on the other side of it made her freeze. Through the loosely-woven bamboo, she could see a figure moving in the pool; the sound of splashing water came again as whoever it was dumped a bucket of water over her head.

   She peeked through one of the holes in the screen, about to apologize for interrupting, when a shock of vivid purple made the words freeze on her tongue.

   Nuriko faced her, the water lapping about her waist as she poured another bucket of water over her sopping head. She didn't seem to notice she was being spied on.

   KC gaped, unable to come to terms with the utter wrongness of the picture. Something was off. Something was definitely off. It took her several seconds to process what she wasn't seeing, and then it hit her.

   Nuriko had no breasts.

   She blinked, gave her head a shake with her eyes squinched shut, and looked again.

   Nope. Nothing. Even with strands of hair straggling over the Seishi's chest, it was very obvious there wasn't anything resembling female anatomy. Even her boobs were bigger (she'd take the time to gloat over that later, though)!

   Had there been an accident? Perhaps something horrible had occurred that caused Nuriko permanent disfigurement. Like cancer, or something. A double mastectomy? But … there were no obvious scars. Just smooth, unmarred skin. Pale and under-toned, yes, but a perfectly normal chest.

   A male chest.

   "It can't be," she gasped, and immediately clapped her hands over her mouth. But by sheer dumb luck, Nuriko picked that exact moment to dunk herself beneath the surface, thus missing the murmured comment. "It can't be!" she repeated. "There's no way—" She cut herself off again as the Seishi abruptly emerged. She wrung her wealth of hair and moved to the side of the pool, hauled herself out of the water to perch on its edge.

   The Priestess tensed, ready to get the hell out of dodge, assuming Nuriko was finished. But she merely sat at the edge with one leg dangling into the water, turned to reach for a small basket filled with jars of lotion, not unlike KC's own.

   And KC was forced to clap hands over mouth a second time to hold in a squeal of shock as she found herself unexpectedly presented with the full-frontal proof that her Seishi was anything but the delicate court blossom she pretended to be.

~*~*~*~*~

   "Tamahomeeeee!"

   The door slammed open, and Tamahome yelped loudly and leaped off his chair, sending it clattering across the floor while coins and dice flew off the table every-which-way. "Wh-wh-what is it?" he gasped as he clutched at his pounding heart. Three other men also sat at the table—all palace guards, judging by their uniforms—and hastily rose from their chairs to respectfully salute the priestess.

   KC paused to eye the mess on the table and floor before a single eyebrow rose to her hairline. "You're gambling?" She tsked at him. "Really, Tama, can't you come up with a more orthodox way to lose money?"

   "Shut up," he grumbled as he hastily scooped up his (considerably larger) pile of coins. "I'm winning, for your information. And why're you barging into my room wailing like that? Is Nuriko after you again?"

   "Oh!" KC leaped forward and grabbed his hand. "You gotta come with me. Now. It's important!" She urgently tugged on his arm.

   "Uh…" Tamahome looked at his companions, who glanced at each other in confusion.

   "Never mind them," she insisted. "You fellas won't mind coming back later, right?"

   "Oh … no."

   "Not a problem."

   "Not like I had any more money to lose, anyway…"

   Mumbling among themselves, the three men hastily exited the room. Tamahome watched them go with a kicked-puppy expression. "But … but I was winning," he whimpered with a dramatic hand extended toward their retreating backs. KC could almost hear a forlorn wind blowing through the room.

   "Oh, suck it up, cupcake," she snorted. "You can cheat the pants off those guys some other time. This is important."

   "I do not cheat," he protested, indignant. "And what's more important than making money, anyway?"

   "You're gonna find out!" She pulled him out of the room and raced across the courtyard as he bellowed protests at her back. She reached a certain point and abruptly stopped. He was forced to side-step to avoid bowling her over.

   "What the—!"

   "Hsst!" He blinked when a hand suddenly covered his mouth. "Be quick but don't make any noise."

   "What're we doing?" he muttered around her hand.

   "I need a second opinion to prove I'm not completely nuts." She graciously ignored his cynical snort as she led him through the bushes. "I hope she's still there. She seems like the type to take long baths, though," she muttered.

   "She?" Tamahome repeated sharply. "She who?"

   "…Nuriko…"

   "Nur—Are you out of your ever-lovin' mind?" Tamahome roared, hastily backpedaling.

   "Shut up, and no, I'm not. Will you just come on?" KC snapped. "Trust me, won't you? You want to see this!"

   "Our esteemed Priestess is a raving lunatic. Konan is doomed," he muttered, but nevertheless trudged onward until they reached the bath screens.

   Faint splashes told them that the bath was indeed still occupied. KC peeked through the screen, then dragged an unwilling Tamahome forward. "Look. Please tell me I'm not seeing things," she hissed.

   "Okay, fine. But if she catches me and murders me for this, my vengeful spirit will wreak hell and damnation on you for the rest of your life," he muttered as he crept forward to peek through the screen.

   KC waited with bated breath and didn't know whether to be gratified or freaked out when, after only a few seconds, Tamahome blanched pure white and stumbled backward, hand over mouth and eyes wild with shock. He landed on his rear and stared at the screen, paralyzed.

   "You saw! You saw it, right?" she whisper-shrieked.

   "That—She has—There was—" he stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

   "She's got one, right? And no boobs! I wasn't seeing things!" KC shook him to snap him out of his trance. "Nuriko's really … she's really a he."

   "Who's out there?"

   They both jumped in shock and glanced wildly at the screen hiding them. Nuriko was completely out of the pool and headed in their direction as he hastily covered himself with a robe.

   "Um … um … baaaahhhh," KC moaned, trying her best to sound like a completely innocent lamb wandering by. She sounded more like one very sick goat.

   Tamahome clapped his hand over his forehead. "Very convincing," he hissed. Without warning, he snatched her up, ignored her pained grunt when his shoulder met her stomach and used every ounce of his Seishi speed to hightail it out of the area.

   He expected to feel a boulder or something equally deadly smash against his head every step of the way, but by some miracle they made it back to his room unscathed, and he unceremoniously tossed her off his shoulder and slammed the door behind them, breathing hard.

   "D'ya think sh—he saw us?" KC stammered, pacing the floor and wringing her hands. "Man, oh man, oh man. No wonder Mei Lin was so set on me going to that bath! What a shock! I never expected to get an eyeful like that!"

   "I don't get it!" Tamahome whimpered and slid down the door, sitting with hands fisted in his hair. "How could—Wouldn't someone notice? She—He's lived in the Seraglio for a year! Didn't he have servants to attend him?"

   "He had Mei Lin," KC replied, voice thoughtful. She sat down beside him. "She's the one who told me about that natural pool. She said Nuriko always used it because she—he valued his privacy."

   "Do you think Mei Lin knows?"

   "I'm not sure… She might suspect, at least." Realization dawned. "That could be the reason why Nuriko wants her back so badly. She must know something, and Nuriko's scared she'll spill the beans on him."

   Tamahome snorted. "A valid fear, given the circumstances."

   "I don't think Mei Lin told me out of any personal revenge against Nuriko. She seems to respect him, even if he scares her. But she did look awfully guilty when she told me about the pool and insisted I take my bath there. She must have known Nuriko would already be bathing there after I dumped that dirty water all over him."

   "Perhaps she did it to help you," Tamahome suggested.

   "How? By traumatizing me for life?"

   "And I haven't yet thanked you for graciously sharing that particular trauma with me!" He knocked her lightly on the head with his knuckles.

   She chuckled. "Well, I wanted to be sure, and I couldn't think of anyone else. Hotohori was definitely out of the question!"

   "Heh. No kidding. Seriously, though. Mei Lin might have been trying to help you. She was there when you were complaining about Nuriko. A secret like this… It's a pretty good bet that if it got out, Nuriko would be in some seriously deep trouble."

   KC's brow furrowed. "Just for pretending to be a woman?"

   "No, not that. Cross-dressing isn't common, but it isn't unheard of. Some of the brothels in the city cater to … men with those particular appetites."

   "Do I wanna know how you know that?"

   He glowered. "I'm going to be nice and pretend I didn't hear you."

   She giggled. "Sorry, sorry. So if cross-dressing isn't the problem, then what is?"

   "Think about it. He infiltrated the emperor's harem, with the clear intention of becoming a candidate to be chosen as empress, or at least a secondary wife. Something like that could be considered treason. He could be put to death."

   KC's jaw dropped. "But … but why would he do something that dangerous? How would he even get away with it?"

   "Well, he's done a bang-up job of it so far," Tamahome deadpanned.

   "You dummy. I mean, sure, when he's wearing clothes and makeup, it's easy to mistake him for a woman. But supposing he was chosen? He'd have to … you know … do his duty by the emperor eventually, right? What was he planning to do, claim a headache every night to put it off?"

   Tamahome's brow furrowed. "Put what off?"

   "It." KC rolled her eyes. "You know, the whole bearing-an-heir-for-the-emperor thing? How do you think they'd go about making an heir, huh?"

   Tamahome turned dark red. "K-KC!"

   "Well, didn't he think this through at all? I mean, what was he planning to do when Hotohori finally sees him naked and figures out that he's got a little more equipment between the legs than most women possess?"

   Tamahome's head thumped against the door as he covered his eyes with a hand. "We are not having this conversation."

   KC ignored him. "Small tits… Okay, fine, some women are naturally flat-chested, but he's really pushing it in this case. But what was he planning on telling Hotohori about his—"

   "Oh, stop. For the love of Suzaku, please spare me any more garish images," Tamahome pleaded. "I do not want to picture His Majesty and Nuriko naked! Especially together!"

   KC flashed an evil smirk. "Actually…" She tilted her head. "Two supremely gorgeous men, lounging naked in bed together… That would be kind of nice to see."

   "KC!" He shot her an outraged glare, then rolled his eyes heavenward and groaned. "That's great! The Girl of Legend is a pervert. Konan really is doomed."

   She laughed. "Oh come on, Tama! I'm just teasing. Don't get your jockeys in a twist. Geez, I had no idea you were such a prude!"

   He pouted at her. "I'm not a prude."

   "Whatever. Anyway, if this secret is so dangerous for Nuriko, it makes sense that he'll do anything to make sure it stays a secret. Maybe now he'll get down to business and help me with the summoning. Mei Lin definitely deserves a raise. She just handed me some excellent blackmail material."

   "On the other hand," Tamahome began, voice dry, "if Nuriko didn't have a good enough reason to murder you before, he sure does now."

   KC blanched. "Oh. Yeah. Hadn't thought of that." She sighed and bumped the back of her head on the wall. "Now what do I do? Confront Nuriko or just keep it to myself? My methods don't seem to be working, so maybe blackmail is the only way to go? I don't want to force him to help me, but I have to start looking for the other Seishi sometime and I need all the help I can get."

   "Well, I think it's something you'll have to decide for yourself."

   "You know, too. Won't you say anything?"

   Tamahome hesitated. "I'll keep quiet for now. If you decide to confront Nuriko, I'll back you up on it. But otherwise, I don't think it's something anyone else needs to know. I mean, Nuriko was dismissed from the Seraglio anyway, so it hardly matters anymore."

   "Yeah…" KC pursed her lips. "I'm dying to know what was going through his head, though, that he thought he'd actually be able to get away with something like that." She sighed and shook her head. "I guess love makes you do crazy things."

   "Heh heh. Which is why I avoid girls like the plague. Relationships are way too complicated."

   "Uh-huh." She gave his knee a condescending pat. "And because you're a prude."

   "I am not!"

   "Are too."

   "Not!"

   "Too."

   "Okay, that does it!" Without warning, Tamahome suddenly grabbed her by the lapels and hauled her across his lap. Her startled yelp abruptly cut off as his mouth closed over hers, kissing deeply.

   After several long moments, he pulled back and released her, and KC slowly sank back against the wall, stunned, her lips tingling. A long, awkward pause followed, broken only by their harsh breathing.

   "Um … wow."

   "…Yeah."

   "That was—"

   "Uh-huh."

   Who knew a floor could be so fascinating?

   KC eventually cleared her throat. "So. I promise to never, ever call you a prude again, if you promise to forget the last thirty seconds ever happened."

   "Deal." Another pause. "But I'm not a prude."