Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Legend ~ Book One: Girl of Legend ❯ Twenty: Home Again, Home Again, Jiggidy-Jig ( Chapter 20 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

  KC sat on the balcony outside of her temporary bedroom, which overlooked the magnificence of Taiitsukun's palace and the surrounding terrain. Her chin rested against the cool stone of the low railing, and her legs dangled over the edge of the balcony between the squat, marble rungs. Her arms hung limply over the banister as she stared through half-lidded eyes out at nothing, and she sighed deeply and kicked her feet idly, letting the heels of her boots smack against the lower wall with dull thuds.

   It was sometime during the night; KC had long since given up attempting to make sense of time in that world. If the sun rose, it was daytime. If it set, it was night, and that was the extent of it. She'd never realized how much she depended on having twenty-four set hours in her day until they were taken from her. Frankly, it seemed an awfully uncivilized way to live.

   She knew she was supposed to be sleeping—Hotohori would probably have kittens if he realized she was still awake at … whatever hour this was—but for the life of her, sleep was the very last thing on her mind. She was too busy imagining what it would be like when she got home (if she got home). What would she tell everyone? Somehow, she didn't think they would appreciate the truth. Although… She frowned thoughtfully. Who had first claimed that truth was stranger than fiction, anyway?

   The light streaming around her from the general vicinity of her room abruptly went dark, likely due to the shadow that suddenly loomed over her. She blinked in surprise and tilted her head back to find Hotohori's darkened visage leaning over her body. "How come you're not sleeping?" was the first question out of her mouth.

   "I might ask you the same," came the amused reply. He offered a faint smile and lowered himself to the stone floor, his presence a warm glow against her back. She fought the urge to shiver at his close proximity. "Are you well?" he questioned softly.

   She shrugged and slumped forward again, crossed her arms under her chin. "I'm okay," she replied after a moment. She heard him shift and was startled when his long legs slid around her to dangle over the edge on either side, so she was cushioned between them. The heat of his legs warmed her own, but her face went scarlet when she felt his thighs closely cradling her hips. His arms slid around her waist and one hand came to rest idly against her stomach. He drew her back until she leaned against his chest. Her heart pounded and she felt feverish again for an entirely different reason. To hide her discomfort, she looked awkwardly over her shoulder and asked, only half-jokingly, "Is it proper for an emperor to sit on the floor?"

   She was unprepared for the serious, lidded gaze that bore intently into hers, nor the gentle hand that cupped her chin and brought her face closer to his, nor his straightforward, solemn reply, "At this moment, I am not an emperor. I am only a simple man."

   She half-dreaded his kiss, but when it came—falling softly upon her lips like the breath of a spring breeze—the dread vanished beneath the tumult of emotion his familiar touch invoked, slow and melting and hot. It was with great reluctance that she pulled away. Her forearm pushed against his chest to keep him at a safe distance. "I—Um, m-maybe you shouldn't do that," she mumbled, lowered her burning face. "S-someone might get the wrong idea."

   He gazed down at her sadly, the disappointment clear in his eyes. "KC, may I ask why it is you are so hesitant to accept my love?" he asked softly. "Why do you deny my proposal? Am I not—Do you not find me an appropriate suitor?"

   She was caught completely off guard by the question. Her startled gaze rose to his, and she found herself caught in his eyes again. "Th-that's not it," she stuttered. "It's not because I've got anything against you. I just—I'm too young to get married. Didn't I say that already?"

   "Yes, but I cannot help feeling there is more to your hesitance than simply your age."

   "The fact that I want to go home definitely has something to do with it," she deadpanned.

   "Well, suppose you were able to go home. Suppose there was some way for us to be together without keeping you here. If there was a way for me to go to your world, would you accept me then?" he pressed.

   Her brow furrowed and she scratched her head, before turning her back to him again. "Geez, you're persistent," she grumbled. "Are you saying there's a way for you to go to my world?"

   He sighed. "I cannot be certain of that, but I'm sure Suzaku would be able to help us if we asked it of him."

   She shook her head. "You can't do that, Hotohori. What about your responsibilities here? You're the emperor! Are you telling me you'd be willing to abandon your country just to follow me home?"

   "Yes," he replied without hesitation. "I would give up everything, go anywhere, if it meant that I could be with you."

   She turned around to fix him with a stern look. "I wouldn't accept you," she stated. "Not if it meant you'd abandon all your responsibilities. You'd be condemning Konan's people to the same kind of fate they'd meet if Kutou took it over, wouldn't you? So then why was I brought here in the first place? I don't know much about monarchy in general, but it seems like a country without a ruler would just fall apart."

   She saw his hand clench into a fist on his thigh. "Yes," he agreed, "but do my needs not matter? All of my life, I have put Konan before anything else. I have denied myself everything I might have wanted for the sake of my people." His words were laced with bitter frustration. "Must I deny my heart, as well, now that I have finally met my soul's mate?"

   KC blushed all over again. "Look, maybe I can understand a little why you're frustrated, but Konan is your legacy. Your parents left the empire and its people in your hands, to protect and care for. It's what you were born to do, and when you have a son of your own, you'll pass the crown to him with the hopes that he'll take as much responsibility toward it as you have. Would you really be able to live with yourself if you just tossed it all aside to follow your own whims? You don't strike me as being that kind of irresponsible person."

   He held her gaze for a long moment, then released a drawn-out breath. "No, I suppose not," he admitted grudgingly, and allowed a small smile to touch his lips. "You truly understand my character, KC. If I abandoned my country, even for you, in time I would regret the decision."

   "And that's why you're a good, honorable man," she replied. "I don't think I'd like you as much as I do otherwise."

   "Then why will you not stay with me? Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?"

   She huffed a sigh. "Look, I'm not—" She stopped and shook her head. "Your offer is tempting, it really is, but it isn't something I should say yes to just like that. If I agreed to stay with you, I'd be making a lifetime commitment, and I'd be giving up everything. And … frankly, how do I know it will last? How can I know for sure you'll stay in love with me? I don't even know if I'm in love with you! I don't know what that feels like."

   "It feels as if the walls surrounding my soul have crumbled, and everything I am, and ever was, and ever will be is bared to your eyes," he described softly, his voice wistful. "Everything within me cries out for your presence, and only when you are at my side, just like this, am I at peace."

   KC really wanted to melt into him, just lean back and let him hold her and kiss her and do whatever else he wanted to her. But she also wanted to keep arguing her point, because she knew she had a really good one to make.

   In the end, common sense won out. Barely. "You keep saying stuff like that," she began quietly, "but how am I supposed to believe that it's actually me you're in love with?"

   He stiffened at the accusation, clearly offended. "I am afraid I do not understand."

   She licked her lips and ran a hand through her hair as she struggled to piece her thoughts. "You told me before about how much you've loved the Priestess, ever since you first found out about her. You said you thought she would be the one to save you from being lonely. Frankly, the way you talk about her, you make her sound like some kind of a goddess or something."

   "Yes, but I don't understand what you—"

   "So, you keep telling me that you love me because I happen to be her, but what if I wasn't the one who'd gotten picked?" she blurted, cutting him off. "I mean, it could just as easily have been somebody else who'd found that book and gotten sucked through, right?"

   She stubbornly ignored the fact that very few girls her age would have even been able to gain access to the library basement in the first place. That didn't matter.

   Hotohori's expression cleared. "KC, Suzaku would not have pulled just anybody into our world," he assured her. "You are the only one he has chosen, nobody else."

   "How can you know that for certain?" she pressed. "And … and even if that's true, I'm not this ideal woman you think is going to save you. I can't even get my own life in order, much less save anybody else from theirs. But putting that aside, what if it had been somebody else who had gotten pulled through the book? Like … like my friend Kimiko, for instance."

   He sighed, rubbing his temple wearily. "KC, I truly do not understand what—"

   "Because, if it had been her, then everything you've been telling me, you'd be saying to her instead, wouldn't you? Wouldn't she be your ideal woman, because she was the one who got picked to be the Priestess?"

   Hotohori looked like he was about to argue some more, but she didn't give him a chance as she hurried on, "So now let's assume that for some bizarre reason, you're still able to meet me even after Kimiko had already gotten picked. Would you still be going on about how I'm the one you love, even though Kimiko is the Priestess now? Would you even be willing to give me a second glance after meeting Kimiko, who is quiet and pretty and smart and everything I'm not?"

   Hotohori looked almost flabbergasted. Clearly, he had never considered this point of view, and KC felt satisfaction for finally making him see her point. "I—That's—" he sputtered, at a loss for words. Then he seemed to shake off his confusion, and continued more firmly, "The point is, you are Suzaku's chosen one. You alone are the fated savior of our country, and—"

   "The point is, it's the ideal of the Priestess of Suzaku that you fell in love with, not me as a person," KC replied heatedly. Good grief, what did it take to make this guy see reason? She drummed her fingers nervously against the railing. "I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to give up my entire life only to have you figure out later on that I'm not this perfect woman you've deluded yourself into believing I am. I don't want to be stuck here while you decide you would have been better off marrying somebody else who knows how to be a proper empress."

   She leaned forward to rest her chin on her arms again. "You keep saying you want me to see you as only a man, but aren't you being hypocritical? I think you only see me as your perfect Priestess, and not a regular girl who doesn't know anything about love or relationships or even real life outside of high school! I don't even know what I want to do after I graduate because that's two years away and I don't want to think about it yet. I'm still just a kid, and it's not fair of you to keep pressing me to grow up before I'm ready, just because you can't tell the difference between reality and your delusion."

   There came a soft, indrawn breath, and then silence. KC wanted to kick herself; she could practically feel the hurt radiating from Hotohori, and she regretted speaking to him so harshly. He'd done so much for her already, and he deserved a little kindness after everything she'd put him through. Why couldn't she have at least tried to soften her words? Even if he was deluded, couldn't she at least let him have his little fantasy?

   "Look…" She sighed and turned to face him. "I'm sorry. Honestly. I hate being so mean to you. It's just that I … I don't believe in true love and soulmates, especially between people who hardly know each other." She hesitated. "Even for people who have known each other for a long time, who grew up together and always loved each other … it doesn't always work. People you think will never be separated because they're in love just … just fall out of love one day, and then it's all over. Nothing can bring them together again. I don't want to end up like that."

   "KC." To her surprise, he didn't look offended or angry. Rather, he regarded her with compassion. "What has happened to make you so jaded toward love?" he murmured. "Why can you not accept things as they are, and simply embrace the fact that you are the one destined for Suzaku, and for me? Forget what-ifs and logic, what does any of that have to do with love, anyway? Can you not believe that we would both be happy if we stayed together?"

   "It's not about believing I'd be happy if we stayed together," she told him. "I just don't have a reason to believe we would stay together. I know you think you love me, but I can't measure up to your ideals. And whatever it is you think you feel for me right now, it won't last when you finally realize I'm not your perfect woman."

   "KC, why must you doubt me?" His voice was laced with weary frustration as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Why can you not trust me to know my own heart? Why can you not trust what your heart tells you? Do you think I cannot see the way you look at me? Your eyes mirror everything I feel for you. Is your fear of the unknown so great that you would deny your own soul?"

   She looked away, jaw clenched in stubborn refusal. He fingered a lock of her hair, raised it to his lips. "Poor, sweet dove. I feel I can only pity you," he sighed.

   That got her attention, and she glared at him, stung. "I don't want your pity," she snapped. "If you'd just bother to actually think about it a little, you'd probably realize I'm right!"

   He contemplated and seemed to draw the conclusion that he fought a losing battle. "Please rest now. It is very late," he murmured, gently kissed her cheek and climbed to his feet. She stared up at him, surprised and just a little suspicious of the sudden retreat, but he strode from the balcony without a backward glance and left her to her own thoughts.

~*~*~*~*~

   KC found herself rudely jerked out of a fitful sleep by a herd of wild elephants trampling all over the bed. She yelled loudly and bolted up, clutched the sheets to her chin and stared with bleary-eyed amazement at the half-dozen Nyan-Nyan who seemed to be engaged in a trampoline contest on her mattress.

   "Good morning! Good morning! We wake!" they squealed loudly as soon as they felt her stare.

   "You couldn't have just poked me in the shoulder or something?" she grumbled as she tossed the coverlet over their heads, earning a flurry of giggles. Then again, given their strength, she'd probably have woken up full of holes if they'd tried.

   "Breakfast time!" one of them squeaked. "Taiitsukun is waiting! Hurry, hurry!"

   "I'm going, I'm going," she grumbled, struggled out of bed and staggered down the hall, led by the over-exuberant clone-girls. It was still dark outside; why couldn't these people wake up at a more reasonable hour? She wondered if she'd ever be able to get into a normal sleeping schedule again after this little adventure.

   They arrived at the dining hall, where all four of her Seishi were already engaged in another feast. If there was one thing she could say about Taiitsukun's hospitality, the woman certainly pulled out all the stops when it came to entertaining guests.

   Their hostess was seated at the head of the table, sipping calmly at a cup of tea. "Good morning," she intoned regally. "I trust you slept well?"

   "Like a log," KC mumbled, although the dark circles under her eyes and her pale face belied the claim. She plopped onto a cushion between Nuriko and Tamahome. "So, um, not to be rude or anything, but have you thought about my situation?" She regarded the Emperor of the Heavens anxiously, crossed her fingers under the table as she waited for the answer. She didn't know what she ought to feel at the moment; dread or anticipation.

   Taiitsukun took another sip of her tea and decisively set the delicate china on the table before her. "After much pondering, I have decided that it would do little harm to send you back to your world for a short while," she said with dignity. "As soon as you have tied up your ends there, however, you must swear upon Suzaku's holy power that you shall return to this world immediately. There are lives that depend upon you, after all. You must never forget this."

   KC released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as her face lit with delight. "I won't forget it, I promise!" she gushed. "I swear I'll come back again, as soon as possible. Just as soon as I'm able to let everyone know I'm okay and to come up with some excuse why I'll be gone." Her brow furrowed. "I don't know what I'll tell everyone yet, especially about where I've been, but I'm sure I'll think of something. I'm good at improvising stories to keep myself out of trouble."

   "Oh really?" Tamahome nudged her in the side. "Just what kind of trouble are we talking about here?" he teased.

   She offered a glib shrug. "Oh, you know. Bank robbing, mugging, murder. Stealing candy from babies. The usual."

   "Uh." He blinked, nonplussed. "Y-you're joking, right?"

   She fixed him with her most deadpan stare. "No."

   He chuckled nervously and went back to shoveling food down his gullet.

   "So? When can we do this? How do we do this?" KC turned her attention back to Taiitsukun. She practically bounced in her seat with eagerness. "Do I just, like, close my eyes and tap my heels together three times or something? I don't need to wear ruby slippers, do I? Red is so not my color."

   "KC, we all understand your desire to go home, but perhaps you might first consider joining us in our morning repast," Hotohori suggested with amusement.

   "Er … right. Sorry." She settled sheepishly in her seat and picked up her chopsticks.

~*~*~*~*~

   Breakfast couldn't end soon enough. KC barely touched her food, only managing a few bites. Nerves and anticipation wouldn't let her eat more than that. She could hardly believe she was about to go home! When the others finally finished their own meals, everyone adjourned to the throne room, where Taiitsukun had KC kneel on the floor with her four Seishi surrounding her.

   "Because all seven of your Seishi have not yet been found, it will be more difficult to transport you back to your world," Taiitsukun warned her. "You must concentrate hard on your home, on the people you love, and wish with all of your heart to be there. As you do, your Seishi must focus their chi directly on you, to lend you strength to make the journey, and I shall send you across the dimension."

   "Got it. Um, how do I come back here again?"

   "By the same method you originally used to get here, of course," Taiitsukun replied impatiently. "The path you first followed to this world will still be open, so you should easily be able to traverse it again."

   "Right." KC hoped it would be that simple, and that the book was still in the same place she'd left it. So much time had passed already. What if it had been found and shipped back to China or something? It'd be a little hard to explain how she got into another country without a passport, and she was pretty sure most foreign countries wouldn't take kindly to illegal intrusion. One problem at a time, she told herself firmly, before she could worry herself into a full-blown panic.

   "Everyone, focus your chi on the Priestess. KC, focus your thoughts on your family and friends, and will yourself to be home. Let us begin!"

   "Wait!"

   The sudden command came from Hotohori. Everyone turned to stare at him, but he ignored them as he focused his gaze directly on KC in a very focused and unnerving manner.

   "Wh-what?" she squeaked. She had to fight the sudden urge to hide behind a Nyan-Nyan. "D-did I forget something?"

   "That isn't it," he replied quietly. He leaned forward and reached out to grasp her hands. "I simply wish to ask you…" He paused and took a deep breath. "Forgive me, KC, but I … I simply cannot let you go. Not without asking you, one last time, if you would please consent to wed me, and become my wife."

   "Huh?" Her eyes went wide. "Uh, you mean right now? In front of everyone?" She looked around nervously, noted their stunned expressions. Obviously, they hadn't expected this any more than she had. She frowned at Hotohori; hadn't their conversation the night before sunk in at all?

   "Please." His voice and eyes entreated her as he softly kissed her hands. "I know what you told me. I understand how you feel, but I … I cannot bring myself to give up on you. And I cannot let you go without some proof that you really will return again."

   She glowered. "I already told you I'd come back. Do you think I'm lying?" His lack of faith stung, and she attempted to jerk from his grasp.

   "No, of course not," he murmured. "I know you have more honor than that. But, if you would marry me, right now, it would ease my mind. It would give me something to hope for, to know that you would be tied to me as more than simply my Priestess. Taiitsukun could perform the necessary—"

   "You're not making any sense!" She glanced nervously at the other Seishi, who were trying very hard to look as though they weren't listening. "What does us getting married have to do with whether or not I come back again?" She shook her head. "We already talked about this. Repeatedly! Don't you have any pride?"

   His smile was sad. "I'm afraid my pride has fled in the face of my longing for you," he admitted softly. "Perhaps I am a pathetic man, after all."

   "D-don't say that." She blushed profusely as she looked away, wishing for some help. "You're not pathetic. It's just—"

   "Hotohori."

   Taiitsukun's stern voice effectively brought the uncomfortable conversation to a halt, and all eyes turned to stare at her. She regarded the emperor with an expression that bordered on compassion. "Hotohori, I understand your desire to rush into things, given the encroaching war, but perhaps you do not understand the Priestess's position. Were you to wed her now, you would be expected to consummate your marriage, and get her with child, would you not? In these times, an heir is necessary, should anything happen to you."

   KC turned bright red and hastily moved away from the emperor, suddenly wishing they were alone. She could feel the stares of her Seishi boring into her and squirmed. What a conversation to hold in public!

   "Uh, yes." Hotohori's cheeks flushed. "It would be the … um … the next step. I admit that an heir is a necessity."

   "Perhaps you do not realize," Taiitsukun began, very gently, "that KC must remain a virgin if she is to summon the god and couple with him to gain his holy power. Were she to lose her innocence, she would lose the right to be the Priestess of Suzaku, and all hope of saving your land would be lost."

   "What?"

   There was no telling who shouted the word first; it seemed to come from everyone at once.

"You mean if I wanna pull this off, I can't ever get laid?" KC protested. Her blush deepened as she hastily added, "Uh, not that I've got any intention of doing that with anyone right now."

   Hotohori remained silent for a long moment. "I … see," he finally murmured. "Then, it is truly impossible for us to be together."

   "At least until Suzaku is summoned," Tamahome clarified helpfully, and abruptly went flying, courtesy of Nuriko's fist.

   "Don't go giving him any ideas!"

   "Look, I get it, okay? I gotta stay a virgin. That's not gonna be a problem, so can we get on with this already?" KC pleaded. While she inwardly cringed at the open disappointment on Hotohori's face, she was also a little relieved. No matter how flattering it was to have such a gorgeous, sophisticated man practically falling all over himself to be with her, she couldn't help but feel a bit cornered by his refusal to back down. Even though she enjoyed being with him, and really enjoyed the way he held and kissed her, she didn't like his constant pressuring to make such a huge commitment to him. Still, now that he knew for sure she couldn't be the one he wanted, maybe he'd ease up in his pursuit a little. I wish he didn't hurt so much over it, though, she thought unhappily. She hated to see such desolation in his eyes. It made her feel guilty for being the one to put it there.

   The conversation brought to an end, everyone resumed their former positions and began to concentrate on the task at hand. KC knelt in the middle of the floor and closed her eyes, fisted her hands on her lap, and tried with all her might to think of home.

   It was harder than she'd expected to maintain concentration. No matter how many times she pictured her mother's face, Hotohori's sad gaze managed to shove its way forward. And then her legs began to cramp up from being squashed in such an uncomfortable position. Soon after that, her nose began to itch. She hardly dared to move, but if she could just reach up really slowly to scratch it—

   "Katriana Choinski! Maintain your concentration! You are wasting your Seishi's precious energy!" Taiitsukun bellowed.

   "Yes! Sorry!" she yelped, jumping in her seat. She squinched her eyes more tightly, forcefully shoved all distractions from her mind, and concentrated with all her might on home, her friends, her family. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home, she chanted inwardly, for extra measure.

   At first, it seemed like nothing was going to happen. But just when it felt as though she would either start screaming or just fall over, a warm glow began to surround her. Startled, she opened her eyes, only to realize that the room before her was disappearing into a familiar red light. "Wha—!" she gasped. "Uh … um… Bye, guys! I'll see you in awhile!" she managed to get out, and then the room vanished completely, and she found herself once again being tumbled through the endless black vortex toward home.

 

~End Book One~