Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Miko Free Time ❯ Miko Free Time ( One-Shot )

A/N: Oh dear. I'm going to ruin my "respectable" image with this one… Keep in mind that its intent only a humorous one so don't look at me like I've committed some kind of crime. Excuse the bad writing and terrible adult humor. I did it on purpose. Miaka is not that dippy, and not all the seishi are gay…

Disclaimer: The hotties ain't mine.

~Miko Free Time~

One day Miaka was skipping down the halls of the Konan Palace, recently having found all the seishi, and all in all feeling quite pleased with herself. Turning a corner, she ran smack into Tamahome, who seemed to be in quite a hurry.

"Oh! Tamahome!" she chirped. "I see you're wearing your bathrobe."

"You're very perceptive."

Miaka wagged a finger in his face and grinned. "Now, Tamahome. You know I have to stay a virgin in order to summon Suzaku."

Tamahome did not say anything for a moment and then proceeded down the hall in the direction of the kitchen. He was back before Miaka had time to place her hands on her hips in offense, a bottle of oil tucked under his arm.

"Whatcha doin' Tamahome?" Miaka asked, following him to the door of his room.

The door opened and Nakago stuck his head out. "Did you get the…Oh. Hello."

"Nakago and I are busy, Miaka. We're…negotiating." He stepped inside with the bottle of oil and gave Miaka a pat on the shoulder. "Come back later."

"I hope they're negotiating the possession of Yui," she sighed as the door slammed in her face. "Oh well! If Tamahome doesn't feel like fooling around, I'll go see if Hotohori's busy. He's always trying to get some."

She skipped off to the throne room and scanned for a bored Hotohori sitting around with his little box hairdo. Expecting to hear the praise of her name from out of the emperor's lips as soon as she walked in, Miaka was a little miffed to find that the throne was empty.

"Hmm. Well that sucks," complained Miaka, folding her arms. "I guess he's out somewhere." She ran through the list of seishi that worshipped her in her mind. "Nuriko's probably not doing anything. I'll go see if she…HE's busy. Dammit. I gotta stop calling Nuriko a "she"," Miaka mumbled, shaking her head.

"Hey, Nuriko!" Miaka called as she burst through the door of his room.

"OH GOD, HOTOHORI! Slow down! You're gonna kill me!"

"Hmm?" Miaka recognized Nuriko's back sitting on the edge of his bed, and walked around to see what was going on. "Oh! There you are, Hotohori!"

"Uh…Miaka!" Hotohori looked up from between Nuriko's legs and shifted his eyes from side to side.

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me down to the lake." She batted her eyelashes.

"Hori-sama…" Nuriko moaned. "Why'd you stop?" He peered out of one eye at Miaka and shut it again.

"Oh, nevermind," groaned Miaka. "I'll come back later when you guys aren't busy." She winked at them both, even though Nuriko eyes were squeezed shut and Hotohori's face was too buried in something else to be able to put his peripheral vision to use.

"Boy," Miaka sighed to herself. "Nobody's in the mood to flirt with me today." She turned another corner and brightened. "Well, there's still Tasuki. Maybe I should go change into something sexier. Yeah."

Miaka quickly bounced back to her room and emerged thirty seconds later with a halfway unbuttoned blouse, short skirt and tousled hair.

"Oh, Tasuki!" she sang, bounding into his room without breaking her streak of not knocking.

"Fuck off, Miaka," growled Tasuki. "Chichiri and I are busy."

Chichiri looked up briefly from his awkward position between Tasuki and a pile of bed sheets and returned his attention to the task at hand.

"Well, geez, Tasuki. You don't have to be so rude about it. If you're busy, just say so." Miaka motioned towards Chichiri. "Chichiri didn't feel the need to swear at me."

"I'm this close no da," Chichiri mumbled under his breath.

Miaka shrugged and blew a kiss at Tasuki. "You're too cute to stay mad at. Drop by my room if you're feeling horny."

Tasuki was very close to repeating his earlier command but Chichiri silenced him in unmentionable ways as Miaka left the room.

Wandering back the way she came, Miaka folded her arms across her chest and slumped against a wall. "Who the hell am I supposed to flirt with? There's nobody left."

Just then, a scantily clad Mitsukake and Chiriko were taking a stroll down the hallway and stopped in front of her.

"Why hello, Miaka," Mitsukake breathed in a sultry tone. Chiriko leaned against the wall next to her and smiled seductively. "Need a way to pass the time?" Mitsukake continued, running his tongue over his lips.

Miaka shook her head and sighed. "People are just no fun today."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true for everybody…"

"Ya know, I think I'm just going to go back to my room and take a nap." Miaka waved at them and retreated down the hall. "Seeya guys later."

Mitsukake and Chiriko looked at each other, and then proceeded to swear nonstop for 17 minutes.

~The End~