Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ My Immortal ❯ My Immortal ( Chapter 1 )

My Immortal

 

 

By: V.M.

 

 

A/N: Inspired by “My Immortal” by Evanescence.

 

 

Warnings: Song-fic, angst, one-shot, 1st person P.O.V.

 

 

Disclaimer: Not mine! None of it! Not the song, not the characters, not the timeline, and definitely not the passion… that belongs solely to… whoever is speaking. “grin” All rights and what not belong to their respective owners, not to me. Lyrics posted at the end.

 

 

 

 

 

I smile softly as I watch her sleeping. She looks so innocent, so sweet, and she's mine! At least for the most part she belongs to me.

 

Every waking moment of our lives together has been filled with love for each other, but when she sleeps… when she sleeps she goes to him. I know that she dreams of him, has dreamed of him for the last twelve years all while sleeping next to me.

 

We've been sealed from the book so I know that she can never actually go to him but she doesn't sleep with me because in her dreams she never had to leave him. She lives in her dreams, with him… not me.

 

I remember all the times we fought for each other, to be with each other, and she only had eyes for me. How I wish things could go back to that blissful time!

 

I don't know when things changed for her, when I wasn't the center of her world anymore. It hurts to watch her dream and hear her call out his name but I can't bear to wake her.

 

I remember our wedding day; she was so beautiful dressed in a cream and gold thread, princess style gown that showed off her shoulders to perfection, her cheeks were glowing with inner joy while her eyes darted towards the doorway every few minutes. I knew then that she was hoping he would show up and whisk her away, but he didn't. He couldn't.

 

He's still in the book.

 

After that she seemed to begin growing dim, the life and happiness drained out of her eyes, out of her soul little by little, day by day, month to month, and year after year until she is what I see laying peacefully in our bed.

 

Her skin is paper thin, ghastly white with lack of sunlight and disuse. Her body withered to the point that she can not even lift her hand to feed herself, and her once lustrous emerald eyes dim and unseeing.

 

For the last four years she has wasted away to a mere shadow of her former beauty as she dreamed her life away; dreamed of him and all the happiness that only he could give her.

 

There are times, like now, when I can't hate him. The look of joy that dreaming of him brings to her face kills what ever hatred I had harbored towards him for taking her heart and being unable to stay by her side.

 

I know she is balancing on the edge of death, willing herself to die so that she can go to him at last. I love her so much that I try to hold her with me, keep her from finding release from this cursed life and keep her selfishly for myself.

 

The pain that creeps across her face as her eyes flutter tells me that she is waking; leaving him in her dreams until she can next escape me. These are the times when I wish I could send her back to that thrice damned book, back to him, back to where she can live again as the true beauty I know she is under the sadness that blankets her body making her weak and listless.

 

We've been married for twelve wonderful years… but I've been alone in this marriage, holding her hand at a distance while she owned every part of my body and soul.

 

“T-Taka?” Her voice is a mere whisper, “Why are you crying love?”

 

Surprised I lift a hand to my eyes and am shocked to find them wet with tears. “Nothing, Mi-chan, don't worry about me, just go back to sleep. I'll keep watch over you.”

 

A sad smile crossed her face, “He's dead you know, he died not long ago.” More tears slipped over her hollow cheeks, “I'm sorry Taka, I can hear him calling me… I-I have to go. I did love you, my Taka, but I loved him more. I'm sorry.” Her whispered words died off in a slow breath.

 

I fought through the tears to watch her in her last moments; her final shuddering breath, her half-lidded stare and the beautiful smile that stretched across her face restoring her to her former glory for that frozen moment in time.

 

“Good bye, my love. May you find him in the afterlife and may he give you the happiness that I couldn't.” I drew a shuddering breath. “Tasuki, you had better make her happy where I failed.”

 

 

 

"My Immortal"

 

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

 

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

 

[Chorus:]

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

 

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

 

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

 

[Chorus]

 

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

 

[Chorus]

 

 

 

Okay, so I was a little maudlin today and figured I'd write some serious angst. Hope you liked it in that angsty “I-need-a-box-of-tissue” kind of way.

 

Much Love!

 

V.M.