Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ The Girl Who Didn't Believe ❯ Nani! Your God Is A Chicken? ( Chapter 5 )

The Girl Who Didn't Believe

Konichiwa! Chapter 5 is up already! As Austin Power would say, "YEAH, BABY!!" Again, special thanks to all reviewers. Arrigato gozaimasu, minna! To, Metajoker, thanks for the idea, fellow occupant of the tiny red dot! ^__^ No, offense, but I think that I'd file the idea away first for later use. Good things come to those who wait, ne, ne? Heheheh. I am writing too much bull. Okay, onward with the usual!! Gomen for any future spelling, grammar, tenses or any other mistakes. Gomen! If you find any, please review and inform me so that I can edit the mistake. If not, well, please review too!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Fushigi Yuugi charaters. They belong to Yuu Watase. Kitten and Sable belong to me, though.

//…//= telepathic conversation

`thoughts'=thoughts, duh

########## = at another place

That's all, minna!

Chapter 5-Nani! Your God Is A Chicken?

"What do you think they're doing now?" Sable asked Chichiri.

"I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. I have given up upon them three hours ago."

"But don't you think that it is dangerous leaving them both unsupervised like that?"

"Tasuki can take care of Kitten."

"No, you're mistaken, Chichiri-san. I'm not worried for Kit; She can take care of herself. Suzaku bless the one who tries to cross her."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"No, you don't understand, I'm concerned for the well being of the general public. Just imagine what would happen if the both of them decides to have a fight again."

Sable and Chichiri were walking along one of the mountainous trails that lead to the capital of Konan. They were leading the pack mules. Tasuki and Kitten were far behind. No doubt arguing as usual.

Chichiri's jaw muscle twitched with annoyance.

Sable was right. Putting the two of them together was like waiting for trouble to happen.

He sighed. How he wished that he could take out his fishing rod now and go to the nearest lake to fish. He shook his head instead. They have not even reached the first domain of the gods and already his head was pounding like the very devil.

Actually, things were not so chaotic at first. In fact, everything started well enough.

Tasuki was leading the mules, with Chichiri and the girls following behind. Everyone was walking in companionable silence. The unfortunate thing was, that mood didn't last long.

Two hours after they left Mt. Taikyoku, Kitten announced that she was tired. Which prompted Tasuki to point out the number of reasons why he thinks girls are useless. Of course, that made Kitten madder than a hornet and both of them started squabbling. Miraculously, Kitten managed to forget about her fatigue as she was suddenly able to chase and yell and throw random things after a certain redhead. Thankfully, Chichiri, with the help of Sable's aid, succeeded in stopping the quarrel before it escalated into anything too violent.

Regrettably, Kitten again remembered her exhaustion and demanded for a rest stop. As usual, before anyone can say anything, Tasuki the loudmouth decided to deny the request out of spite. That started another round of bickering. By then, Chichiri had already developed a tiny migraine and Sable was looking extremely chagrined. Again, the peacemaking duo broke up the squabble by looking for an alternative way to appease both parties. In the end, they did not stop for a rest, but instead set Kitten up on one of the less heavily laden pack mules.

The journey went smoothly for another hour.

Naturally, fate just had to intervene, because right after the said hour, the mules refused to budge, not even an inch. That provided an excellent excuse for Tasuki to yell at Kitten, and he grabbed at it, joyfully. In less polite terms, he demanded for Kitten to get off the mule, saying that she was too hefty for the beast. No woman wants to be told that they are fat, Kitten included. Needless to say, a long name-calling session followed soon after. Again, Chichiri and Sable had to step in.

When everything was in order again, Chichiri was beginning to wonder if this was supposed to be the challenge that the gods had set for them and that if it is, that god had certainly chosen well because those two had succeeded in driving each other and pretty much everyone else up the wall.

However, things did not end there. After Kitten was persuaded by Sable to walk for a little while and Tasuki was openly threatened by an irate Chichiri to watch his words or else, the group reached a forked path. One obviously leads to Konan whereas the other leads to a nearby inn. Kitten then started trying her damndest to persuade Chichiri and Sable to go down the path of the inn for a well-deserved rest and also to spend the night there. Tasuki, on the other hand, merely snorted and lead the mules down the other path.

That didn't sit too well with Kitten and she told it to Tasuki and everybody who bothered to hear. She also announced to the world about what she thought of Tasuki, along with a few choice vulgarities.

Tasuki, being the hothead that he is, refused to stand by silently while Kitten was yelling at him for the entire world to hear. He just had to add in his piece.

When that happened, Chichiri's initial tiny migraine had escalated into a full blown, pounding headache.

Just when Tasuki and Kitten were about to start a tug-of-war over who gets the leads of the mules, Chichiri's patience snapped. He strode over to the both of them, snatched the leads out of their surprised hands and stalked off towards the path leading to Konan. He grabbed Sable, too, figuring that like him, she didn't deserve to be the middle man for those two cracker jacks.

Which was precisely why Chichiri and Sable were now walking far ahead of the other two.

"You're right, Sable-san, let's wait for them, no da."

"Okay, but can you please call me Sable? Sable-san sounds so formal."

"Hai, but only if you're to call me Chichiri, no da."

"Done!"

They smiled at each other.

"Oh, and Chichiri? You're not mad, anymore, are you?"

Chichiri looked at Sable in surprise. Was he that obvious?

`Even wearing a mask and all, Sable can sense my mood?'

"How did you know that I was angry, no da?" he asked neutrally.

"That's easy. When you are angry or serious, I don't hear any "no das" in your talk. Now that it is back again, I take it that you're not mad anymore, ne?"

Chichiri smiled and shook his head.

"You're right, no da."

Both of them sat in companionable silence by the side of the road.

Five minutes later, a scowling Tasuki and a fuming Kitten arrived. With the unpleasant scene of Chichiri's unexpected temper still deeply imprinted on their minds, both had wisely decided to keep their mouths shut and rest alongside their friends. The four sat under the shade, enjoying the relative peace, and the fresh forest air.

"How long before we reach the palace, Chichiri-san?" Kitten asked, breaking the silence.

"A couple more hours' walk and we'd reach the capital, no da."

"Are we on Konan land now?" a curious Sable asked.

"Hai, no da. We've been on Konan land ever since we crossed that forked path, no da."

"Oh…"

Suddenly, Chichiri stood up.

"Let's go, no da. If we hurry now, we'd be able to reach the palace just in time for dinner."

The rest of the group agreed. Tasuki is leading the mules again this time and Kitten is walking together with Sable and Chichiri.

They were about to start moving when unexpectedly, three human figures `poofed' right before them.

Instantaneously, Chichiri and Tasuki shoved the girls behind them and took on defensive postures.

"Who the hell are you three?" Tasuki demanded. "I give you five seconds to answer or you are all gonna have a taste of my holy fire!"

Quieter, Tasuki asked Chichiri. "Do you know them?"

Chichiri frowned and shook his head. "I don't recognize them, but their ki are very familiar."

The three men stepped into view and Sable gasped.

Each of the three men had different colored hair. One had a shock of white hair. Another had a mane of blue. The last one had green.

"Who are you, no da?" Chichiri asked.

"Think, Suzaku shichi seishi, I think that the answer would come to you soon." The blue-haired man said sardonically.

"Genbu, Byakko, Seiryu…" Sable whispered.

"Bingo." Seiryu smiled.

"NANI! You guys cannot be the three gods!" Tasuki muttered. "I do not believe you."

Seiryu merely lifted an eyebrow.

"What if we tell you that we are the reason why those two girls are brought in from the mikos' world, hmm?" Genbu replied.

"What!! How did you know about that?!!" Tasuki demanded.

Suddenly, Chichiri interrupted.

"Stop, Tasuki. They really are the children of the Creator. The reason why their ki are so familiar is because of Taitsukun's bond with them."

"Smart of you, Suzaku shichi seishi." Seiryu commented, sounding bored.

"Where is Suzaku, by the way? I wanna yell at him for putting me in this predicament." Kitten asked.

Everyone sweatdropped at that.

However, Seiryu recovered quickly.

"You see, Suzaku is the reason why we're here. As you all are heading towards Konan, therefore you must accept a challenge from Suzaku, right?"

The four nodded warily.

"Uhmmm…the three of us are sort of here to deliver your first challenge."

Tasuki arched an eyebrow at that.

"Uh-huh. THREE GODS to deliver a mere challenge?"

Seiryu looked frantically at Byakko and Byakko looked back at Genbu with panic-stricken eyes.

"Um…right." Genbu answered. "But don't expect the rest of your challenge to be delivered in advance, they will be sprung on you at the most unexpected times." he blurted out.

Seiryu rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Okay, so what is challenge?" Tasuki demanded.

Seiryu and Genbu looked at Byakko and nodded. As if on cue, Byakko stepped out from behind his brothers. He was carrying a white bundle. He walked over to Kitten and deposited the bundle in her arms.

"This is your challenge." Byakko said simply.

At that, the other three members of the group clambered to see what is inside that bundle. Four heads gathered together as Kitten tentatively uncovered the bundle to reveal…

"What the fuck?!! Our challenge is a plucked chicken?!!" Tasuki yelled.

The plucked chicken in question gave a deafening squawk of indignation. The three gods winced as the others clapped their hands on their ears.

"Itai! Itai! Dammit! I understand now! So, Suzaku's challenge is to sent a goddamn ugly, naked chicken to squawk us deaf?" Kitten asked sarcastically. She had one hand supporting the bird and the other hand over its beak, so as to prevent it from making that god-awful noise again.

The three gods flinched at Kitten's crude way of silencing the bird and looked uncomfortably at each other. When Suzaku goes back to normal, they are going to be so dead.

"Uh…not really…"they hesitated.

"Then what? Quit mincing your words!" Tasuki growled with irritation.

Seiryu looked uncertainly at his brothers before continuing.

"You see…Suzie here…"

"It's called Suzie?!!" the group echoed stupidly.

"What a stupid name…" muttered Tasuki.

"Eh…Suzie here is actually…"

"Actually our god, Suzaku." Chichiri finished quietly.

Sable, Tasuki and Kitten stared at Chichiri with mouths agape.

"NANI! It cannot be! This goddamned ugly bird cannot be our god! Our god is huge and handsome and magnificent and red! This bird is…is, well, small and UGLY and scrawny and…and PINK, for god's sake! How could it be Suzaku?" A chibi Tasuki cried, running around the group in circles.

Seiryu cringed.

"Please be careful with your words, Suzaku shichi seishi, for although your god might look like a stupid, brainless chicken right now, let me assure you that he can hear and understand what you say. You don't want to get into your god's naughty list."

"What exactly happened to Suzaku?" Chichiri asked.

"Oh, this is easy. Seiryu made him mad again. And whenever Suzaku gets too angry, he kinda explodes into a ball of flames, you know, and then he will change into his infant form for around one and a half months before he goes back to normal again. Your challenge is to look after him in Konan for the next one month and a half until he takes his usual form. Don't worry about him trying to do anything funny, though, he can't do much in this infant stage, except for those stupid screeches of his." Byakko answered.

Tasuki narrowed his eyes.

"Let me get this straight. You guys screwed around and reduced our god to this pathetic, PINKISH stage and now you fucking want us to take care of the mess that you have fucking made?"

The three gods fidgeted. Then Byakko and Genbu spoke up.

"Uh…uh…I have to go take care of my country now, to make it even colder." Genbu said, before he disappeared.

"Me too…me too…I have to make mine warmer. Ja na!" Byakko too vanished, leaving Seiryu alone.

"Deserters," Seiryu mumbled under his breath.

"Yes?" Tasuki prodded.

At that, Seiryu rose to his full height.

"Suzaku shichi seishi," he boomed, "Suzaku is your god, and thus you have an obligation to look after him. I may be his brother but for now, we are still archenemies. You cannot expect me to look after him. So that leaves you guys. Use the powers he had granted you to protect him. For now, that's your challenge. See that you fulfill it."

With that sentence, Seiryu departed in a poof of bluish smoke.

The foursome stared as the smoke dispersed, then blinked repeatedly.

Tasuki was shaking his head, sadly.

"I still can't believe that he's PINK."

Chichiri and Sable stared at each other.

"Tasuki can't seem to get over that fact, can he?" Sable asked.

"Ye Gods! PINK is such a girlish colour…"Tasuki bemoaned.

Chichiri sweatdropped.

// RELEASE ME, NOW, MORTAL!!//

Kitten blinked. Did she actually hear someone talking in her head?

"Who are you?" she asked aloud. "Are you my conscience?"

Sable, Chichiri and Tasuki were now staring at Kitten with odd looks on their faces.

//NO! I'M NOT YOUR CONSCIENCE!! I'M THE GOD THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE!//

`Hey,' Kitten thought. `My conscience has a most sarcastic sense of humor.'

//KITTEN! I AM THE SUZAKU! RELEASE YOUR HOLD ON MY MOUTH IMMEDIATELY!//

"NANI!!" Kitten was so surprised that she let go of the bird's beak. She stared at the bird in her hands. "You can speak mind-to-mind?"

//OF COURSE! I'M A GOD// Suzaku said haughtily, as if that explains everything.

Kitten suddenly had an urge to cook curry chicken.

"Kitten, no da! Did Suzaku speak to you, no da?"

Tasuki merely roared with laughter.

"Don't ask stupid questions, Chiri. Look at her face. She looks as if she wants to wring Suzaku's scrawny neck here and now. What do you think?"

Chichiri sweatdropped.

//WATCH IT, TASUKI, YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF MY SEISHIS, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO INSULT ME.//

Tasuki quit laughing immediately.

"That's enough, already," Sable said. "What we really need now is to figure out where to go. Do we still go to the palace, now that we have Suzaku with us, or what?"

"The palace. Let's go to the palace, no da. Tasuki and I must explain to Houki-sama the reason why we are going to accompany you two and also the predicament of our god."

The rest nodded; Chichiri's answer made sense. They set off for the palace at once.

##########

Houki's eyebrow went up went she heard the news from her messenger.

"Are you sure that it is the Suzaku shichi seishi, Tasuki and Chichiri?"

"Positive. We saw them at the city gates and have reason to believe that they are making their way towards the palace as we speak, your highness."

"I see…"

"Anou…your highness, I'd also like to add that they have two girls with them. The girls are wearing foreign clothing."

Houki frowned with confusion.

"Okay…but, messenger Wang, why are you telling me all this? There is never a need to inform me in advance about the arrival of the seishi."

"Anou…it is actually not because of them that I come to inform you, but because of what they have with them."

"Nani? Doushite? What did they bring with them that is so important?"

"Well, you see, your highness…we spotted a most ugly bird-like thing tied to the top of one the mules that Suzaku shichi seishi, Tasuki-sama was leading…"

##########

Somewhere within the capital of Konan, but very near the palace, but not yet in the palace…

The noisy, busy streets of Konan were for once silent.

It was still busy, though, but silent. It would have been a miracle if not for the fact that everyone was glaring daggers at a certain pinkish-chicken-like-bird-that-is-tied-to-the-top-of-a-mule-and-screaming-b loody-murder-every-once-in-a-while.

One might think, `If there is so many people, then why didn't anyone attempt to "put the bird to sleep"?' But then, how do you "put the bird to sleep" when both your hands are occupied covering your ears from that god-awful sound that the bird is making?

The answer is that you cannot, which is why everyone is glaring at the said bird in the first place, and, of course, at the ones who brought in this disaster.

Chichiri, Kitten, Tasuki and Sable were placed strategically around Suzaku. They didn't like it, but they had to, in case someone decides to permanently severe the vocal cords of their annoying god. Chichiri, Kitten and Sable kept their faces emotionless, whereas Tasuki's frown was enough to scare people away; it was a good thing that he was up front; his scowl did wonders to clear the crowd and make a path for the group.

Sable looked at the other side of the mule, where Kitten was.

"It's all your fault, Kit."

"What? How is it my fault? Each of us were getting tired of carrying Suzaku, remember? He is not some small chicken, you know, more like the size of a scrawny turkey and he was getting extremely heavy! Furthermore, it was a group decision to put him on the mule. And because he kept falling off the mule, we have no choice but to do the next best thing and strap him to the beast."

"At least you could try to reason with him, to make him quit that racket that he is making, you know. You're the first one he mind-spoke to, ne?"

Kitten glared at Sable.

"Have you ever tried reasoning with a god? Do you know that Suzaku believes that we should listen to all that he says and treat his words like precious, holy relics? Jeez! He is even more vain and narcissistic than Hotohori, if that is possible! And when I try to reason with him some more, he goes AUTOMATICALLY DEAF!! He absolutely refuses to reply and pretends that he had not heard anything I have said to him. Talk about childish! I swear, if I have to `reason' with him again, I'd wring his stupid neck myself!" Kitten fumed.

"Calm down, Kitten, no da." Chichiri had obviously heard Kitten's furious ranting. "We're reaching the palace pretty soon, no da. See those massive gates there? That's the main entrance to the palace, no da."

Kitten immediately squinted in the direction that Chichiri is pointing at.

"Wow!! Sugoi!! Those gates sure are huge! Hey! What is happening? The gates are opening!" Kitten exclaimed, her irritation forgotten.

"Maybe they're opening it for us, no da. No wait, there's someone coming out… it couldn't be…but that looks like Empress Houki…" Chichiri replied.

"NANI! The empress is here to welcome us?" The girls cried in surprise.

Just then, Suzaku chose to give an ear splitting squawk.

//UNTIE ME IMMEDIATELY!! I CANNOT ALLOW THE RULER OF MY LAND TO SEE ME IN THIS UNDIGNIFIED STATE!!// Suzaku transmitted the message to all four.

"Forget it, Suzie," Kitten muttered. "You are already undignified. Shifting positions from lying to standing won't help. Come to think of it, your mindless, squawking is not helping, either."

Sable and Chichiri struggled to keep a straight face at that remark. Tasuki merely snorted and pulled at the mules' leads, inciting them to move faster to intercept the empress.

"Empress Houki." Tasuki and Chichiri greeted.

"Welcome to the palace, Chichiri, Tasuki." Houki said in returned.

"Anou…Houki-sama," Chichiri introduced, "this is Sable and Kitten. They are from the mikos' world."

"Greetings, Empress," the two girls chorused, sketching awkward bows.

Houki looked amused at the girls' clumsy attempts.

"It's all right, Sable, Kitten. I've heard a lot about your world from the Suzaku no miko, Miaka. Do you girls mind telling me more later?"

"Iie…no, your highness. In fact, we'd be glad to." The girls stuttered.

"Good, then we'll talk later, ne?"

"Hai, Empress Houki."

Houki smiled and turned her attention towards Suzaku.

"I suppose that this is the bird whom I've heard screeching all day long?"

"Hai." The foursome spoke in unison.

"What is it? I've never heard of a species of bird that make as much noise as this one does."

Chichiri and Tasuki stared at each other before replying.

"It is an infant phoenix, Houki-sama, no da."

Houki nodded understandingly.

"Ah, an infant phoenix…" she murmured.

Kitten, Sable, Chichiri and Tasuki watched her reaction intently. Sure enough, she stiffened and whipped her head to face Chichiri.

"NANI!! An infant phoenix?!!"

"Hai, Houki-sama, no da, this bird is our infant Suzaku."

Hahaha! How is it? Huh? Huh? Sigh…I don't know about this chapter. It has its good and bad parts. Gomen for the cheesy part when Suzaku mind-talk to Kitten and Kit thought that it was her conscience! Sorry! I just can't resist! For those who have watched Finding Nemo, you'd understand what I'm babbling about! I had fun writing this chapter, though. I'd crack up every time I try to picture the anime version of this chapter!! Heheheh. ^__< Please do not flame me for making poor `ole'

Suzie act so undignified. Otherwise, all other comments are greatly welcome. Please review! Arrigato gozaimasu!!