Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Why am I Crying? ❯ Forgiveness? ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Note: Uhhhh, came to me while surfing google for some Fushigi Yugi pics to draw with my pastels… Kinda what I always thought Tamahome felt when he killed Nakago. Attention: THIS IS NOT YAOI! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT YOAI!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi or any of its characters. They're all Watase's!

Why Am I Crying?

Pain that sears through every strand becomes a lost echo as trails of clear crystalline liquid slowly run down my cheeks.

My heart wrenches pulling at emotions that I didn't want to acknowledged. Such compassion, such sympathy should not be allowed to exist for this creature as he holds me before him, my arm imbedded in his flesh as his fingers rake and pull at my hair.

“How bitter this is…”

An unidentifiable emotion, bordering on sadness filters across his face. No true anger could be seen and then my eyes widened. I pulled away as much as I can, jerking slightly in his hold, not being able to stand it anymore. Instead I watched a thin trail of blood seep from the corner of his mouth and trail down his chin, concentrating on what I have achieved. Yet, those eyes…

 

“To have my dream spoiled by a naïve fool…”

He sounded so despondent, every once of passion and conviction slipping from his voice, like… like a child…

 

Suddenly his fingers loosen, his hand sliding down my face in a soft caress and I couldn't move. Even though at this very moment I could cast myself away from the disgusting form before me… A being I hated with all my being, but my feet stayed rooted to the ground.

”A boy…”

 

His arm fell away to his side and I only flinched as his weight became apparent. A gasp unexpectedly escaping my lips as my eyes begin to burn; the screams of a lost child still echoing in my head….

 

Mother!!

 

Like a soft whisper, I feel the wind pulling at my form as he slowly disappears, leaving my arm to lie taunt within the air covered in his blood. The only proof, and it too begins to fade, the validation of this moment lost.

 

Yet they won't stop, searing my flesh like thin trails of fire that refuse to be extinguish and I don't know why…

 

She's staring at me, I can feel her gaze burning into my back and I turn away hiding everything. How can I explain that through all the pain, through all the suffering he made us endure. That I….

 

”I'm not crying for you…”

 

Renewed anger fuels my words, as visions of everything he's done, runs rampant in my mind. Yet, it quickly dies leaving a hollow ache in its wake as the child's screams once again permeate my mind.

 

 

Mother!!

“Don't misunderstand me…”

 

The words fill the air as she turns away for a brief moment and I ball my fists tightly till my knuckles begin to turn white. They won't stop, and I cough as I feel the strain of trying to keep them in.

 

I pledge to the heavens, which have given me nothing but hell, I will have my revenge.

His words, like a subliminal echo in my head…

”I'm happy I did it.”

 

How sweet, his highness has a new toy, I wonder what he'll do with him…

 

Yet it felt like a lie, leaving my mouth dry as my stomach churned. An orphan, who unlike myself…

 

He blasted five soldiers and his own mother to ashes…

 

Damn you. Damn you for having a reason…

 

His own mother… to ashes…

 

And for…

 

Mother!!

 

Making me forgive you…

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Love? Hate? All of the above? o.O