THE 3RD ANNUAL

ANIME BEAUTY CONTEST

Part 2: Redheads, Blue Bombshells and a Pink Dominatrix

Kaiba: Welcome back to the 3rd Annual Anime Beauty Contest! Once again, I'm your host, Seto Kaiba. For those of you just tuning in, we've had our first four contestants: Kari Kamiya, Kurumi, Mimi Tachikawa and Sora Takenouchi, questioned by the judges. Also, we got a look at the HEAVY security… Points up at the several Gundams and the Eva Unit 01 …headed by our favorite Saiyan prince, Vegeta. And now, back to the contest!

Tira: Walks up Hi, I'm Tira Misu, one of the Sorcerer Hunters! I may seem meek, but… Sheds coat to reveal her bondage gear CALL ME QUEEN! OH, HO, HO, HO! Throws back on her coat and glasses, blushing He-he, excuse me.

Hiei: Sweatdrops Okaaaaaay, what are your hobbies? And please don't do the Kodachi/Nagha laugh anymore, for Ranma's sake.

Tira: Whoops! Looks up at Sandrock Sorry, Ranma! My hobbies are, besides punishing evil and those who abuse magic, whipping that pervert Carrot, of course, and competing with my big sister Chocolate for Carrot's affections.

Many of the men in the audience, the judges, Kaiba, and the security posse that are men shudder, feeling sorry for Carrot.... only somewhat.

Optimus: What are your specialties?

Tira: I'm a master of the whip, which I use mostly to snap Carrot out of his beast form when he transforms by absorbing magic.

Veemon80: Seriously, lady, what do you see in Carrot? He's more of a pervert than Kuno.

Tira: He's a funny guy, and really a good person once he gets his head screwed on right.

Yusuke: Your last question is would you change your SH outfit, and why or why not?

Tira: Change my outfit? It didn't work for Superman, so no way am I changing it! Besides, I at least fit the part when I whip Carrot. Tee-hee!

Yusuke: Thank you, for your time… NEXT! Whispers to Hiei That girl creeps me out!

Hiei: Wait till we talk to Chocolate. Shudders a bit before Akane steps up

Akane: I'm Akane Tendo, the youngest of three sisters from Ranma ½ and one of the many fiancées Ranma has.

Hiei: What's your claim on Ranma? (As if we didn't know)

Akane: An arranged marriage set up by our fathers before either of us were born.

Optimus: But you don't want a forced engagement, correct?

Akane: Correct, and neither does Ranma. We're working on how to get him out of the other engagements, those we know of, and those that Genma has YET to tell us about.

Yusuke: How's your skill as a martial artist?

Akane: Very standard. Lately, I've been trying to improve my cooking for when Ranma and I get married. We've agreed to split the cooking, but I intend to pull my weight around the home.

V80: Anything else you're working on?

Akane: If you mean my temper, I've been having sessions with psychiatrists, who determined my anger came from my mother's death and intensified with the boys fighting me for a date.

Gotsumon: Interesting... One question that puzzles me: why did you brand Ranma a pervert when you walked in on him the first time?

Akane: Ummm, I plead the fifth?

Hiei: This isn't court, Akane. You can't plead the fifth.

Akane: Well, think about it. He couldn't tell me about his curse after I shot my mouth off about hating boys, and I just… freaked when I found out the hard way about his curse and that I was thrust into being his fiancée.

Optimus: Point made.

Yusuke: Makes sense to me.

V80: Thank you, Akane.

Akane heads back as Chocolate comes forward.

Chocolate: I'm Chocolate Misu, Tira's older sister who also appears in Sorcerer Hunters. But unlike my sister… Rips off dress to reveal her biker outfit I prefer to take a less dominant, more wild side to myself.

Yusuke: Tries NOT to drool as to not receive a beating from Keiko Okay, so what are your hobbies ma'am? (Don't drool, don't drool!)

Hiei: Whispers Get a grip on yourself!

Yusuke: Same I know, I know!

Chocolate: Fighting sorcerers who misuse their powers, and chasing after my darling Carrot.

Optimus: We asked Tira this next question. What do you see in Carrot?

Hiei: And how come you want his child so badly?

Robster80: From backstage Keep it clean, please?

Chocolate: He and I are looking for the same thing: some action.

V80: Uh-huhhhh. (And I thought Kitsune was bad, especially when plastered!)

Gotsumon: (Figures.) How come you and your sister are into… your hobbies? Gestures to the bondage attire

Chocolate: Because we're like every other girl out there. We have a wild side locked away in ourselves waiting to get out. These outfits help release our hidden wild sides.

V80: Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?

Chocolate: I wish. It's one of my dreams.

Ranma: Inside Sandrock Scary ladies.

Schwartz: Inside Shadow/Spiegel Kinda like Kodachi, aren't they?

Ranma: Don't even go there!

Asuka: Takes the floor I'm Asuka Langley Souryu, the 2nd child pilot in Neon Genesis Evangelion.

V80: So, how's your relationship with Shinji going?

Asuka: Just fine, thanks.

V80: You know I heard he proposed to you in private. True, or maybe I was wrong?

Optimus: Vee, you already asked your question!

V80: So? I'm curious.

Asuka: Actually… Looks up at Eva-01 Should I tell them, or do you want to?

Shinji: Inside Eva-01 Asuka and I are already married. We eloped two weeks ago.

Several results happen: half facefaults and half applause. Some of the girls come up and congratulate Asuka. Some of the guys in the mecha shake hands with Shinji using their suits.

Ninja T Kasuga: Hey, Rob, you knew about this?

R80: You know me, bud. I'd be the last to know if the world was gonna end.

Hiei: Gets up I bet that pissed off Misato and half of NERV... Speaking of which, where is your most-of-the-time drunken guardian?

Asuka: Probably sleeping with Kaji somewhere. We don't keep track.

Yusuke: So Asuka, how'd you become NERV's top Eva pilot?

Asuka: Practice, practice, 3 hours of sleep every night, and more practice. It was a rough schedule, and I was excited when it was over.

Optimus: Uh, how'd Shinji's old man take the news of you two eloping?

Asuka: This pretty much sums it up: dunno, duncare! As long as he leaves us alone, we'll all be happy.

Gotsumon: So, how'd you ever manage to elope with Shinji? I thought you hated his guts.

Asuka: It was just an act to fool Kaji, and myself. You see, we made a bet after he told me about Shinji. If Shinji was a better pilot than I was, I'd date him. I hated it because I wanted to date someone I loved on my terms, not because of a bet. But, as time went by, I grew to realize I was in love with him. But then, I had a hard time telling him because we never had many chances to be alone. When I finally told him, he told me his father said I was a waste of his time and shouldn't bother.

Gotsumon: Then what happened?

Asuka: I asked him what he felt, not his father. The next thing I knew, he was frenching with me.

Shinji: Sweating like crazy Asuka!! It was a regular kiss!!!

Asuka: Giggles He's soooo cute when he's embarrassed like that.

Shinji: Hey you guys! Move onto the next girl before I die of embarrassment!

Optimus: We do have to be moving along now.

Asuka: Okay, sorry. Steps back as Ami comes forward

Ami: My name is Ami, or Sailor Mercury as I'm better known as, and I'm from Sailor Moon.

Optimus: For the record, R80 didn't make you sign up for this, correct?

Ami: Actually, he didn't want me to sign up. He felt I might win because of his influence.

V80: We may be his muses, but he's not a dictator. We'll take our chances.

Backstage…

NTK: He's brave; I'll give him that.

R80: He was the first to stand up to Darkstar before the split. Hell, he even pulled an 81-C on DS's Gatomon when she tried to rape him.

NTK: 81-C?

R80: I'll explain later.

On Stage…

Ami80: Say, R80 didn't bribe you five, did he?

Optimus: I give you my solemn word as a snow blower that we're all on the level.

Yusuke: Been watching Go West lately, have we? To Ami Ami, you were there with R80 when he used to hang with Darkstar. What was it like?

Ami: AWFUL, that's what it was like! I was turned into a nymphomaniac like the other girls. Mimi and I kept Rob up at night so much, it almost killed him! And then, I get cloned and put with a clone of DS and-!

V80: Quickly Moving on! Are you still studying to be a doctor?

Ami: Absolutely! After all, someone has to tend to the wounded after the sparring matches you guys have.

Hiei: Is it true that R80 dated other girls before you?

R80: Pokes head out from backstage Let's not get nosy, three-eyes! Stick to her, not me!

Ami: He's right. I'm the one in the contest, not him.

Hiei: Point. So, you know any moves?

Ami: I know the Kamehameha Wave, Big Bang Attack, and the Lightning Kick.

Gotsumon: I don't mean to get personal, but is your hair color natural?

Ami: As natural as Botan's. Say, how come she's not in the contest?

Yusuke: Koenma's got her working overtime.

Somewhere in the Spirit World…

Botan's voice: WAAAAH!!!! IT'S NOT FAIIIIR!!

Koenma's voice: You let your work pile up, and you pay for it in the end.

Botan's voice: BUT I WANNA BE IN THE BEAUTY CONTEST!!!!!!!

Next: Questions with Lita, Aoi, Naomi, Belldandy and Allenby. Plus, two judges are called away and two new judges take their place.