Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ All That Lingers ❯ Desecration ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki is property of Minekura Kazuya. Any original characters are property of Twisted Cherry. No harm is intended, nor profit being made, by this piece of fanfiction.

Rating: R (Drug use, oral sex (not graphically described), language, prostitution, disturbing thoughts/images, blood/gore, self-mutilation.)

Summary: Centuries after the original journey west, the Sanzo-ikkou has been reborn into modern-day Chicago-Sanzo as a detective who's lost his faith, Gojyo as a an alcohol-abusing gambler with no direction, Hakkai as a professor with a violent past, and Goku as a street kid forced into prostitution and crime to survive. When the Merciful Goddess becomes concerned with a madman whose quest for power could destroy the world, and possibly the heavens as well, she knows exactly who to call upon before disaster strikes. Their lives must once again become entwined, but with both friendships and rivalries forgotten, how can she bring them all together before it's too late?

Main Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, Homura/Goku, Gojyo/Hakkai, Shien/Nataku, Kougaiji/Yaone. (Mentioned pairings: Homura/Rinrei, Gonou(Hakkai)/Kanan.)

Warnings: As a reminder, this is a yaoi fanfiction. There will be several heterosexual couples mentioned; however, any and all sex described will be M/M. Please keep in mind that some scenes will be more graphic than others. Anything that might turn you off will be listed next to the rating every chapter.

Notes: Goku might seem very OOC in this chapter, but as it progresses, I'm sure you will see why. Don't worry. He won't be like this throughout the entire fic. Also, some character appearances have been altered. Gojyo's hair is the most obvious example. The reference to his hair being black is completely intentional.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed our first chapter! Your feedback was greatly appreciated. Also, thanks to our betas, Tbear and D-chan!

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'blah blah'indicates thoughts

~~ indicates shifts in time/character perspective

* indicates stress

@@@ indicates start/end of flashback

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~*All That Lingers*~

: :Chapter 2: Desecration: :

"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me-I broke apart my insides, help me-I've got no soul to sell
Help me-the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself…"

Goku rolled his head languidly, working out the sudden kink in his neck muscles as the tune of a familiar song washed over him. The ceiling seemed unnaturally high, and it grew higher as he watched, glass shattering and falling around him in a melodious tinkle as the walls expanded and the windows warped. Unfazed, he watched the process, lifting a hand to shade his eyes.

Idly, he wondered why no one was running. The throng of people on the dance floor continued to writhe to the seductive beat of the music, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the roof had exploded and the moon loomed over them, and that it, too, was dancing.

A warm hand settled heavily on his shoulder, and he started in alarm, spinning around to seize the offending object tightly.

"Goku? Hey, man, how's it going?"

Goku eyed the man apprehensively, taking in the shoulder-length, black hair, olive-toned skin, and blood-red eyes that glittered like rubies.

The man stared at him oddly as Goku gaped, unspeaking. "It's me Gojyo. Are you all right, man?"

Slowly, golden eyes widened in recognition, and Goku released his grip, stepping back. "I don't know," he answered vaguely, unable to tear his gaze away from Gojyo's peculiar red eyes. They had started to drip from the corners, and it looked like the man was weeping blood.

Goku shuddered.

Gojyo rubbed his hand absently, trying to regain some of the circulation in his long fingers. "You're stronger than you look…"

Tilting his head back, Goku glanced up at where the ceiling had been.

The moon was still dancing.

He felt more than saw his friend peer at him intently, his voice dropping to an undertone as he asked, "How's that new shelter working out for you?"

The boy gave an indifferent shrug. His heartbeat felt as if it were jumping to the music, and then floating upward with the clouds of cigarette smoke that drifted toward the starlit night sky. Drifted…like a weather balloon. His head felt like a weather balloon.

"Are you all right?" Gojyo's voice asked, as if from a far distance. "Maybe you should sit down…"

"Down," Goku repeated, blinking. Perhaps that was a good idea. He should sit down and hold onto something. Otherwise, he might just float away.

He made his way to a small, round table, sensing his friend following close behind. Dropping onto one of the uncomfortable chairs that surrounded it, he gripped the edge, glancing around suspiciously. No one else seemed to be concerned about the roof. Perhaps he was all right for now…

Gojyo had sat down across from him and lit a cigarette. His eyes were still leaking blood, and his hair was on fire, the flames licking at his cheeks.

Goku stared, fascinated. "Doesn't that hurt?"

A dark eyebrow rose. "Doesn't what hurt?"

"Your hair's on fire," Goku stated matter-of-factly.

Reaching out, Gojyo clasped his arm suddenly. "Go-"

"Stop!" the boy cried in alarm, jerking away as if scalded. "You'll set me on fire, too!"

"Goku, what the fuck is the matter with you?!"

Feeling panic rise in his throat as the man stood abruptly, Goku practically fell off of his seat, scrambling to put as much distance between them as possible. "Stay back!"

"Goku, what the hell are you on?"

He cringed back as Gojyo stepped closer, eyes searching frantically for a means of escape. Everyone was staring at him, their jaws hanging at disjointed angles as evil laughter rose from their throats, echoing wildly.

"Stay back!!" he yelled again. "Stay away!"

He couldn't seem to get his breathing under control. It felt as if his chest might burst open at any second, and he'd be consumed by this paralyzing fear.

Gojyo had stopped approaching and was staring at him with an odd, pitying expression on his face. "Goku…"

Spotting an opening in the crowd, Goku bolted. He heard Gojyo calling after him faintly, but was too petrified to stop. He pressed on until a sudden collision with a rock-hard chest brought him to a rough halt. He would have fallen backwards, but muscled arms curled around his waist and steadied him.

"Where are you running off to so fast, little one?" a silky voice asked. "Where's the fire?" The arms tightened around him, and he shivered, unconsciously leaning into the warmth of the embrace. "Why don't you come with me?"

Goku allowed himself to be led. He didn't glance up at the man's face for fear of what he might see there. It didn't matter what he looked like. The man was warm and strong. He felt safe.

The man steered him away from the crowd and down a dimly lit corridor. Goku knew what was at the end. People would go back there to have sex, or toke up. He'd been in those rooms more than once. They were dirty and usually reeked; the smell of sex and mind-altering substances combining to form a pungent odor that made his stomach twist.

He found that he couldn't bring himself to care this time. Anything was better than those obscene, jeering faces.

"Want a sugar cube, baby?" the man asked once they had settled against the wall in a dark corner. [1]

Goku nodded absently, parting his lips to accept the tablet from the man's fingertips.

"I've seen you around," that smooth voice continued. "How much do you charge?"

Goku didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Forty. With a condom, and I don't swallow."

"That's kind of expensive, don't you think? What exactly are you willing to do?"

Sighing softly, Goku closed his eyes. "I'll suck you off, nothing more."

"Thirty-five."

Goku shook his head. Suddenly, he felt much older than his nineteen years. He was…weary. "Forty. Take it or leave it."

The man moved beside him, reaching into his wallet to withdraw two crisp bills. "You'd *better* be good…"

He ignored the unvoiced threat at the end of that statement and took the money, shoving it into his pocket.

"Hurry up," the man said as he started to undo his pants. "My girlfriend will be here soon."

Goku searched his pockets for the stash of condoms he usually carried, tossing one to the man disinterestedly. "Put it on."

The man made a disgusted noise and threw it back. "For forty dollars, you'd better put that fucking rubber on me yourself."

Goku ripped the foil package open without further protest. He was tired. So, so tired. It felt as if every movement took a tremendous amount of effort.

He proceeded through the motions mechanically, slipping the condom onto the man and leaning down. As was usual during these sorts of moments, his mind wandered.

Eventually, he was brought back into awareness by fingers tangling painfully in his hair and pushing his head down. He gagged, trying to pull away from the grip, but the fingers tightened brutally and kept him in place.

After a few moments, he was struggling in earnest. He was choking and he could feel bile rising in the back of his throat, but the man ignored the desperate sounds he was making.

Panic flared in his abdomen and he bit down *hard*. He had to get away. He *had* to.

With a shrill scream, the man released him and Goku pulled back, retching violently.

He made the mistake of looking up at the man's face, and bit back a scream of his own.

The man's face was a gory mess of blood and pulp. His eyes were gone and his teeth were black with decay. He reached toward Goku with skeletal fingers. "You stupid, little bitch!!! You're fucking dead!!"

Goku scrambled to his feet in horror. The scent of rotting flesh accosted his senses, and he gagged again, a hand flying to his mouth.

The man was standing now, chunks of skin and muscle falling from his frame and hitting the ground with wet, sickening thuds.

Before he had fully realized what he was doing, Goku was running, clawing his way through the crowd as he raced frantically toward the exit. Even when the cool night air struck his skin, he didn't stop. Adrenaline and fear pumping through his system, he ran as if the hounds of Hell followed closely in his wake.

~~~~

Gojyo was sitting at the bar, flirting with a voluptuous brunette when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Goku bolt wildly out of the club's entrance. 'What the hell is he running for?'

"Goku!" he shouted.

The woman leaned close, whispering erotically, "You've got such pretty hair. Can I touch?"

"Not right now," Gojyo replied as he stood up from the barstool.

She pouted and grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving. "Don't go…"

Gojyo pulled away from her and tried to reach the entrance as quickly as he could. The crowd was so thick, he didn't bother with "excuse me"; he pushed and shoved his way to the front.

When he made it outside, he looked in all directions, hoping to catch sight of Goku running. There was no sign of him, only a dingy street illuminated by a few light posts.

"Fuck!" he shouted. He had *known* Goku was messed up on something, and yet, like a complete dumb ass, he'd allowed him to go into the back room with some random stranger. Gojyo shook his head and laughed bitterly as he lit a cigarette. It was just like him to notice other people's suffering and not do a damn thing about it until it was too late.

Gojyo looked up at the pitch black sky and blew smoke toward the stars. He decided it would be best to get in his car and look for Goku. For all he knew, the boy could have been running from murderous bunny rabbits. And what's worse, he might feel the need to jump off a building to escape those rabbits. With that distressing thought, he stepped off the sidewalk and headed for the parking lot.

A stifled moan stopped him dead in his tracks. Gojyo looked over to see a man lying motionless in the muddy street, his head turned to one side. Suddenly, the air felt chilly and the man's enervated breathing diminished all other sounds, from the laughter of those leaving the club, to the music blaring from inside the building. Gojyo stood for a few moments while a remarkable awareness of the situation washed over him. 'This feels strangely familiar…'

After a few moments, he casually walked to the inebriated man and crouched down beside him. "Need help up?" he asked.

There was no response.

'Do I know him from somewhere?' Without hesitating, he brushed away the dark strands hiding the man's face.

Gojyo's heart jumped as piercing green eyes met his, giving him another muddled sense of déjà vu. He decided to leave the man for a moment to unlock his car and perhaps give himself time to forget that eerie stare. But while he hurried, he couldn't help but think of those brilliant eyes… they were enlivened, despite the man's unmistakable unconsciousness, and it even seemed like they were smiling at him.

After a few seconds, he returned to the man's side, staring at his face for a moment before his attention was captured by the deep red fluid that seemed to be coming from the man's stomach area. Carefully, he turned the man onto his back, eyes widening at the condition of the man's lower abdomen.

The tender flesh of his belly had been torn open by what appeared to be multiple stab wounds. The blood flow had already grown dark and sluggish, and even with his little medical knowledge Gojyo could tell that the man was nearing death. 'Holy shit.'

How long had the man been lying there before someone had thought to offer him some assistance?

Gojyo shivered, both because of the ugliness of the wound, and the permeating impression that he had met this man before, and that the meeting had gone very similar to this one. 'But where?'

There was no time to ponder this question, however. Any further delay would undoubtedly cost the man his life.

Gojyo left him only long enough to pull open one of the rear passenger doors of his car. Once it was standing open, he raced back to the ailing stranger.

"Don't worry, you'll be alright." Gojyo grunted as he awkwardly lifted him from the ground.

With the man in his arms, he walked back to his car, his earlier intention of finding Goku forgotten. The perplexing familiarity of the situation caused another shiver to rise up in his spine.

Gently, he laid the man in the back seat, wincing at the amount of blood on the man's shirt as he covered him with a fleece blanket. Noticing that his skin had become pallid and his breathing more labored, Gojyo felt uneasy.

He shut the car door carefully and rushed to the driver's seat. He knew that the man was hovering on the edge of death, but he was determined to get to the hospital before it was too late. For some inexplicable reason, he knew that he could not, *would* not, let this man die.

~~~~

Sanzo parked along an unlit alley a few blocks from the abandoned factory-turned-industrial nightclub.

Through his contacts on the streets, he had learned that this was where the golden-eyed boy could be found on the weekends.

Turning off his car, he lit a cigarette, then sat for a few moments and berated himself for even coming to this abhorrent place. It wasn't the empty factories and warehouses that disgusted him-it was the idea of going into that god-forsaken club. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll left a bad taste in his mouth. Even more so than the puddle of mud that splashed onto his boot and lower pant leg as he stepped out of his car.

Sanzo gave a miserable sigh as he worked his way around the puddle. 'All this to find some insignificant brat.'

~~~~

Goku darted into an alleyway and ducked behind a dumpster, peering fearfully behind him.

They were after him. He could hear them approaching, smell the putrid foulness of their decomposing bodies.

Trying to quiet his frantic breathing, he lifted a hand to his mouth and bit his palm. The coppery-metallic taste of blood flowed over his tongue, but he barely felt the pain. If he couldn't stop breathing so loudly, they would hear him. They would come.

His other hand came up to press over his nose, and that was when he noticed it. There were fingers moving over his skin, shriveled, slimy stumps creeping over his flesh.

Screaming, he tried to brush them away, but somehow they had managed to get under his skin. He could see them there, feel them moving across the muscle.

"Help me, someone!" Whimpering, he fell to his knees, searching the ground for anything he could use to get them *out*.

He spotted a piece of thick, green glass and grabbed it with trembling fingers. There…that would work. He could cut them out.

He touched the jagged glass to his skin, slicing his forearm deeply. The pain scarcely registered in his agitated mind. He wasn't even aware that he was still screaming.

~~~~

Sanzo's head jerked up, senses prickling, at the sound of terrified screaming and sobbing. He was still several blocks from the club, but the noise was coming from a nearby alley.

Withdrawing his Smith & Wesson, he crept forward cautiously.

As impossible as it seemed, he recognized that voice. He had heard it before, perhaps in a dream, calling to him with a similar sort of desperation.

Pressing close to the building, he snuck a quick glance around the corner.

The sight that greeted him made his eyes widen in shock.

The golden-eyed boy he'd come here to find was crouching beside a dumpster, slashing at his arm with what appeared to be a piece of broken bottle, his mouth gaping wide as he released an almost unholy cry of pain and terror.

Unthinking, Sanzo started forward, the gun in his hand slipping from fingers suddenly gone numb.

~~~~

A movement to his left caused Goku to freeze.

In the dark and frigid atmosphere surrounding him, a golden light was approaching. He turned wide eyes to face it, the bloody piece of glass forgotten.

He came to his feet unsteadily, enthralled by the glittering being moving toward him.

Around the tall figure, the darkness melted away. Those who had been chasing him vanished, as did the fingers beneath his skin.

The image of the figure came to him as though fragmented-deep blond hair in elegant disarray, eyes as vivid and purple as violets, flawless features set in a pretty face.

Goku made a soft sound in the back of his throat. He could tell now that the figure was a man. His face was expressionless, but his skin was alive with a shimmering golden glow.

'An angel?'Goku thought dazedly. 'But he doesn't have wings…'

Despite this thought, the cold, gripping fear in Goku's body began to subside, and he took a slow step toward the man, reaching out with a quivering hand. 'No, not an angel…'

He could feel the man's warmth even from this distance. Somehow it soothed him, flowed over his body and calmed the raging beat of his heart.

'Warm…like the sun…'

Drawn to the man like a moth to a flame, he took another step. If only he could touch him…if only he could feel that warmth…

If only he could touch him, everything would be okay.

He closed the gap that separated them without thinking, bloody fingers reaching up to brush across the soft skin of the man's cheek.

He smiled slightly, suddenly at peace.

'The sun…'

With that thought, he fell into the light and his body became weightless.

'My sun…'

~*~*~

[1] "Sugar cube" is a common slang term for LSD.

The lyrics used at the beginning of the chapter are from "Closer" by NIN.

(At the start of the chapter, Goku had already taken one dose of LSD (acid). As evidenced by the progression of the chapter, his trip wavered between good and bad before eventually spiraling into terror. I have never taken this drug, but after reading a variety of descriptions, and learning that the experience varied from person-to-person, I felt confident in my ability to describe its side effects. I am going for realism; however, I just wanted to state that some artistic liberties had to be taken. I hope that you were able to enjoy it! ~Blue)

Kin'ni(And anyone else who was wondering about the Homura/Goku pairing): In response to your question about the Homura/Goku pairing, we can only say that it, along with the Sanzo/Goku pairing, is essential to the plotline we've envisioned. We both noticed that Goku and Homura had great chemistry in the anime. We enjoyed their interaction, and so we wanted to bring some of that interaction to this fanfic. Plus, we both love Homura's character. ^-^ We won't reveal what the final pairing will be just yet, but, as a warning, we will say that both pairings will probably get equal amounts of time in the fic.

~Twisted Cherry