Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ A Welcome Change in the Weather ( Chapter 9 )

Title: Fateful Encounters [part 9/?]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June - November, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

While the doctor quietly attended the patient inside the apartment, outside of it stood the lost and forlorn figure of a man who was at a crossroads without even realizing it.

As he took a long drag off his third cigarette in much too short a period of time, Gojyo stared at the dark clouds above him and reflected on the horrible news he'd just been given and how it had left him feeling. Blowing out a stream of gray smoke and watching it mingle with the uncaring raindrops, he stated wearily, "I've got to stop letting myself get emotionally involved with people this way."

The crimson-haired man sighed deeply and silently watched a rivulet of muddy water coursing down the street before he said, "It hurts too much to be left behind this way. It hurt when mom died. It hurt when Jien left me. It hurts now that Kiko's gone. It just fucking *hurts* and I don't think I can take it again." Gojyo stopped short of actually verbalizing the fact that he felt as if everyone he ever cared for either died or abandoned him, but this was at the center of his thoughts all the same.

A sense of deep and abiding sadness flowed over the half-breed much like the rainwater was doing to his home as it rattled through a downspout nearby. Gojyo gazed forlornly at the door behind him and asked quietly, "Are you going to leave me, too, Nanashi? If I let you into my heart--even if only as a friend--will it only mean that you're going to go off and leave me behind the way everyone else has?" The darkness closed over him and he added sullenly, "Or worse, will the fact that I care about you mean you're going to end up like Kiko did? Damn it all, I don't think I can take any more losses like this."

Running a hand through hair made damp by the moisture laden air and feeling defeated, Gojyo made a decision he would find difficult to follow and then said with a sense of finality, "Then I'll just have to keep things between us light, won't I? Get you back on your feet like I promised, then send you off to that family you've undoubtedly got somewhere and go back to my own pathetic yet harmless life of chasing women into the sack and beating men at cards." He placed another cigarette between pouting lips and grumbled around it, "Fuck, I was kinda looking forward to getting to know you, but if that's only going to cause us both pain, then to hell with it." [1]

A flick of his thumb caused his lighter to spring to life and as he drew a breath to pull the flame into the tobacco deeply enough to ignite it, he added miserably, "Damn it all. I'm sure going to miss Kiko and now you won't even get a chance to thank him for helping to save your life, will you, Nanashi?"

Gojyo felt an immaterial hand clench tightly around his heart and it was all he could do to stifle a quiet sob with another drag on his cigarette as his mind drifted through thoughts of the opinionated crimson-haired ten year old. It saddened him to think the boy wouldn't get to experience the joy he seemed to have missed earlier in life simply because his parents had chosen to ignore the age-old taboo that forbade the union of human and youkai. This thought led to a darker one that blamed the same forbidden merger for his own misfortune and he wondered distantly if that wasn't the source of the apparent curse that flowed from himself to those around him.

Expression clouded with heavy emotion, the half-breed leaned against the wall of his apartment and slowly allowed his mind to wander in whatever unpleasant directions it felt like going, eyes closed rather than face the world at large.

Meanwhile, Long quietly finished taking care of all of Gonou's immediate medical needs and as the IV fluids dripped slowly into the insensate man's arm, he decided he ought to check on the teen who he thought would've returned by now. Stepping outside into the humid air, he glanced at Gojyo and noted that he was clearly having understandable difficulty finding anything to smile about on this most disheartening of days.

Trying to find something positive to offer, the doctor said quietly, "Nanashi seems to be doing well, Gojyo." The crimson-haired man responded only by opening scarlet eyes and regarding him as if he hadn't truly heard his words, so he explained, "You've done a good job taking care of him. His vital signs are strong, his wounds are healing at an acceptable rate, and overall, I'd say it wouldn't be unexpected for him to awaken soon. That's good news, isn't it?"

"I guess so," Gojyo shrugged noncommittally, feigning a disinterest he wished he truly felt if such an attitude might protect the injured man from whatever force ruined the lives of those he dared to care for. Unable to suppress his true feelings completely, he asked with barely concealed hopefulness, "Does this mean he's going to recover fully, Long? I mean, no long-term, life-threatening crap or anything hanging over his head from whatever happened to him and what you and Zan had to do to pull him back together?"

Frowning and uncertain how best to reassure the worried young man, the physician answered, "There's no guarantees, of course, but I'd say that's entirely likely. The biggest things he has to overcome at this point are the comatose state that he's in and then a fairly protracted recovery period if he doesn't want to reopen the worst of the abdominal wounds." With a small shrug of his own he stated confidently, "As long as he gets a month or so of bed rest after he regains consciousness, he should be fine."

This statement triggered a painful sense of foreboding that pulled Gojyo from his attempt at apathy and he asked, "But what could happen to him if he doesn't take it easy, doc?" He turned to face the man fully and added with obvious concern, "I mean, we can't be sure he doesn't have a family that won't magically appear here sooner or later, right? What if they want to take him with them or he feels that he can't stay after he wakes up or whatever?" Despite the decision made only minutes earlier to keep things between them "light", Gojyo had the unshakable feeling that someone or something was going to force the stranger from his home before he was ready for him to leave, possibly before it was even safe to do so health-wise.

Frowning slightly, Long considered these scenarios and then stated simply, "If Nanashi has a family that truly loves him, they should see to it that he's well taken care of wherever he may be. If, on the other hand, he feels he can't stay and tries to leave prematurely, I'd say that it will be up to you as his caretaker to change his mind. You rescued him, I'd think you'd do whatever it takes to keep him safe while he recovers fully, wouldn't you?"

Caught off-guard by the indirect challenge, the half-breed answered what his heart truly felt rather than what his mind thought he should be doing to limit his emotional involvement by answering with mild annoyance, "Well, of *course* I'd do what it takes to keep him safe, Long. What kind of stupid-ass question is that, anyway?!"

Raising an eyebrow in surprise at the vehemence in the gambler's voice, the doctor returned the smoldering scarlet gaze coolly and answered, "It's the kind of question I *have* to ask right now, Sha. Considering the terrible loss Zan has suffered today, I'd say it's safe to assume that I'll be the village's only physician for some time to come. Therefore, I'm going to be trying to relocate a few patients from this area to a hospital quite a distance from here and if you can't handle the extended responsibility I'll have to include your friend in the transfer as well."

Crossing both arms across his chest decisively, Gojyo insisted hotly, "Nanashi stays with *me*! Period." His eyes narrowed slightly and he added pointedly, "You said it yourself, I seem to be handling his care okay so far and Zan seemed to think that, too, yesterday. He's not going to set one foot outside this apartment until he's had whatever amount of time he needs to heal fully and that's that!"

"Good," Long acknowledged, then gave him a small, approving smile as he added, "I'm going to hold you to that promise, Gojyo."

"That's fine by me," the scarlet-eyed man replied firmly. Then he relaxed a little and asked, "So, if this is your last house call here for awhile, what else do we need to go over? Stuff like me learning to take out stitches or anything like that?"

Nodding, the doctor turned to the door to go back in saying, "Why don't we check his IV and we can go over it inside, all right?"

"Sure," Gojyo responded and before long they were once more within the warmth of the small apartment discussing a number of procedures and approaches should various situations arise.

By the time they were done going over everything that needed to be covered, the rain outside was letting up slightly and Long decided that was his cue to depart. He left Gojyo with a few last words of advice and then vanished into the muddy streets of the village, hoping that the two men he was leaving behind would get through the coming challenges as well as he believed that they could.

Alone with his silent roommate once more, Gojyo dispiritedly made himself comfortable on the floor where he could lean against the bed the way that he had been since Gonou had been brought there. With a deep sigh, he leaned his head back against the mattress and said quietly, "Ya know something, Nanashi? I feel like I've lost *two* brothers now and it really sucks." He took another even deeper breath and closed his eyes as he added much more softly in prayerful entreaty, "just make sure you don't run off and leave me, too, okay?"

Silence washed over the room and there was no reply as always.

The sense of impending loss wouldn't leave his mind, however, and with a decision to try to cheer himself up, Gojyo rose to his feet and walked over to the table to retrieve his favorite deck of cards. Sitting back down where he felt most at ease thanks to being close to the man he was caring for and allowing the slight sound of the stranger's breathing to remind him he was still there and safe, he stated with forced cheer, "How's about some cards, dude? Solitaire's the name of the game and you can pick the stakes." Shuffling the deck expertly and adding a riverboat gambler's flair with a few sleight of hand moves, he remarked as if in response to a suggestion, "Oh? You think a can of Asahi if I win without cheating sounds good? So do I! I like a man who knows how to set goals."

Without further ado, the crimson-haired teen went about the less than thrilling process of playing game after game, winning far more than most players could, delaying awarding himself the prize each time until "after another win". The afternoon slipped past and despite the rain coming to an end, neither man inside the small apartment was aware of it when a brilliant, jewel-toned, double-arced rainbow appeared in the sky above the small village.

Despite the foreboding Gojyo continued to feel, there were positive changes in the immediate future and as long as he didn't give in to the despair the morning's events had brought him, a subtle change the evening was to bring might give him joy.

*****

Several hours later and with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips more out of habit than a desire to actually smoke it, Gojyo puttered in the kitchen making himself a simple meal of jasmine rice and the last container of food Long's wife had given him several days earlier.

As the pots on the stove bubbled and steamed, he walked into the main room of the apartment and checked on his patient, using his usual excuse to gently caress the side of Gonou's face to make sure there were no signs of fever. Granted, he'd already done that a mere hour earlier when he'd administered the late afternoon IV on schedule, but that was beside the point. There was something comforting in the brief skin-to-skin contact with the other man and he sought it almost instinctively now.

With a slight smile on his lips, Gojyo said, "You're cool as a cucumber, as always, dude. That's a relief, actually." He gazed at the motionless face and then frowned slightly as he asked, "Um, Nanashi? How'd your hair get messed up?"

Continuing to frown, he moved to finger-comb the soft brunette hair and he muttered something about needing to pay attention to things like this better. Once it fell into place across the bandage as usual and helped to ever so slightly hide the damage that the handsome face had sustained, Gojyo nodded to himself and said, "There. That's better." With another smile he added almost playfully, "Ya never know when someone might drop by, ya know. You want to look your best just in case it's a pretty girl, right?" He winked at the motionless man and then headed back into the kitchen.

Eventually a simple repast was laid out on the table near the bed and Gojyo glanced at it then at his roommate and sighed, wishing as always to be able to share it with the other man. Setting aside the hopeless wish, he picked up his chopsticks and started to eat, barely tasting the food until he reminded himself the rice had been a gift from Kiko and that he ought to appreciate it more than he was. With that thought firmly in mind, he paid attention to each bite and discovered that the light somewhat floral taste of the rice was actually quite pleasant.

After cleaning up the kitchen as best he could since he really was out of dish soap, Gojyo collected his "winnings" from his earlier Solitaire marathon from the refrigerator. With a single, ice-cold can of Asahi in hand, the half-breed went to his bookcase and selected the first volume of "Sanctuary" intending to read it aloud as he'd been instructed to in the hopes of leading his insensate companion back to awareness. [2]

Sauntering across the room with his usual unwittingly sensual gait, Gojyo called out, "Oi, Nanashi! Want to hear about Hojo and Asami, dude? I loved this series the first time I read it, lotsa hot chicks and guns and…" His voice trailed away as he approached the bed before stopping dead in his tracks.

With a definite frown, Gojyo set the manga and beer down on the floor by the bed where he intended to make himself comfortable once more and then moved to turn the table lamp on nearby while he remarked, "What is *up* with your hair, man?" He shook his head and moved to straighten the mussed tresses over the ear with the odd cuffs on it adding more sympathetically, "Let me guess, humidity really does a number on it, doesn't it?"

As he combed the chocolate-colored waves back into place with the tips of his fingers a minor miracle occurred, something the crimson-haired man wouldn't have dared to believe if he hadn't been witness to it.

Without so much as a change in his breathing pattern much less a word, Gonou's head turned ever so slightly into the contact and Gojyo felt the warmth of a bare cheek resting against the sensitive skin of his palm.

"What the hell?!" Gojyo nearly shouted, thrilled and yet somehow afraid of this unanticipated event. Then a huge smile burst forth and he exclaimed, "Well, I'll be damned! You *moved*!!"

Undisguised glee lit sunset-hued eyes as he continued to beam and he moved closer so he could eagerly ask of the silent man, "Are you waking up, Nanashi?! Are you, huh?" Careful to keep his hand right where it was, maintaining that gentle warmth and reassuring himself this wasn't a hallucination brought on by his earlier despair, Gojyo pleaded, "Please say 'yes' for me, okay, baby? Please?"

Unaware or uncaring or both of his sudden reuse of the endearment he'd chastised himself for using the day before, the nineteen year old asked a few other pointless questions and got no additional answers but didn't let that ruin his mood. As he moved to kneel beside the bed, he took a limp hand into his own hoping for more signs of awareness, something he wasn't going to get but it felt right to hold onto the moment as long as he could just the same. Then he recalled that Long had mentioned that most patients moved out of a comatose state and into one of simple unconsciousness rather than becoming fully alert all at once.

Smiling delightedly, Gojyo remained where he was well into the night not caring about the beer slowly warming to room temperature nearby or the manga which would go unread until the following day.

When he would awaken sometime after three in the morning to find himself half-sprawled across the bedcovers yet again and still clinging to the now merely unconscious man's hand, he would start smiling all over again. The balance of the universe had been maintained by Kiko's unwitting sacrifice and now Gonou could begin to heal more rapidly, a change that would help relieve the burden of the small child's death as it lay upon Gojyo's heart.

Far away in the limbo where the souls of the dead awaited yet another chance to make a difference in the world, a spirit that had most recently been embodied in the form of a ten year old half-breed smiled to itself. Even though there was no way to know who it would become or when and where it might be reborn, the soul most recently called "Kiko" found happiness in knowing two people whose lives had been touched by its own were moving towards an overdue reunion. Without the limitations of life to shutter its eyes to the truth, the ancient spirit could easily tell that these two souls were bound to one another for all eternity and it couldn't help but wonder what had delayed their own acknowledgement of this fact for so long.

Not even the spirits of the non-living, however, could see everything and the weave of the tapestry Kanzeon bosatsu had begun creating five hundred years earlier glistened with promises of both joy and further pain for the soul once called Tenpou and destined to become Hakkai. How some of those emotional highs and lows might include the soul once named Kenren remained to be seen and it was this subtle mystery which held the greatest promise of paradise for them both.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] It always seemed illogical to me that Gojyo never asked Gonou anything about himself in the series until it was too late, but after thinking about it in the context of this story, the idea that he deliberately chose ignorance as a defense mechanism came to mind. I'm not sure it fits in the strict continuity of episodes 15 and 16 or not, but I hope it makes sense to you, too.

[2] For those of you who enjoy decidedly hard-edged classic shonen manga, might I recommend "Sanctuary" scripted by Sho Fumimura with art by the legendary Ryoichi Ikegami? It's one of the few series that includes heterosexual citrus scenes which you'll find in the Casa de Llama, but the story of two bishounen utterly dedicated to one another who enter the seemingly opposing arenas of politics and the yakuza to accomplish a single goal is incredibly compelling. It is available in English from Viz Communications, Inc. or in the original Japanese from Shogakukan, Inc.