Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ Déjà vu and Comfort Shared ( Chapter 12 )

Title: Fateful Encounters [part 12/?]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June - November, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

After finishing a second cup of coffee with Gonou and trying to make sure that the emerald-eyed man truly was in less pain after taking nothing more impressive than a dose of Extra-Strength Tylenol, Gojyo decided it was high time he took a shower.

Smiling tenderly at the somewhat sleepy man in the bed who kept yawning despite his best efforts not to, the crimson-haired teen rose and said gently, "Why don't you get some more rest, Nanashi?" He glanced at the watch he'd grabbed while getting them both something to eat for breakfast and added with a slight frown, "It's already 9:30. I've only got an hour and a half until I need to be at the temple."

Nodding and covering his yawning mouth with one hand, Gonou gave him a look that said he agreed even if he couldn't get the words out. The pain in his body following the shock it had received earlier that morning was making itself known rather strongly, but he ignored it as best he could, somehow convincing himself that if he could just get some sleep it wouldn't be an issue for long.

Chuckling softly, Gojyo remarked with fondness, "You'd better cut that out, man." Moving to help ease his roommate into a more comfortable sleeping position and then covering him warmly with the bedcovers, he explained in a gently teasing tone, "You're too cute when you do that. If you don't stop, I might have to change your nickname from 'Nanashi' to 'kitten' and you wouldn't want that, right?"

Giving him a halfhearted glare as he found his pillow to be more wonderfully soft than he recalled it being, Gonou quietly warned, "Don't you *dare*, Gojyo!" Feeling a bit miffed since he thought his friend was being cruel instead of kind, he added unhappily, "I am *not* cute or cuddly, so don't even think about it." Totally disproving his own words even though they were barely out of his mouth, the exhausted man yawned again and snuggled down into the sheets wearily trying to escape the growing sense of agony permeating his body.

Gazing at the almost slumbering brunette and disagreeing to the very core of his being, the crimson-haired man held his tongue for a moment, then explained in an earnest tone, "I wasn't trying to make fun of you. It's just that the way you are right now really does remind me of a sweet little cat who just needs some TLC to feel better." With a sigh, he stated what he thought was already obvious, "I'd never want to hurt you, Nanashi."

The sole unobstructed forest-hued eye rolled towards him and crinkled in a small smile much as it had that fateful rainy night in the forest. Seeing the truth displayed on a handsome and apologetic face, Gonou forgave him completely, saying, "Of course, Gojyo. Sorry to have misunderstood." He yawned again and tried to think of a better way to apologize and failed even as sleep pulled him into its healing embrace.

Reaching down to gently stroke the rich, cocoa-colored waves his fingers gravitated towards almost as often as they did soft, too pale flesh, the scarlet-eyed man said very quietly, "don't worry about it, babe." He sighed deeply and shook his head slightly before moving to clear away their coffee mugs and other morning things.

Never much of a housekeeper by nature, Gojyo had found it odd that he felt compelled to straighten things up on a regular basis now that his roommate was aware of his surroundings. The quiet emerald-eyed man certainly never made an issue of it, but the half-breed could see that the other man was the fastidious sort and leaving dirty dishes laying about seemed to bother him therefore it wasn't allowed to happen any longer.

Once he was satisfied with the way things looked in the main room of his apartment, the lanky redhead sauntered over to the bathroom.

Wishing he had an actual door to separate himself from the slumbering man nearby so as not to disturb his rest, Gojyo closed the curtain and began to slip out of the rumpled jeans and tank top that had been his nightwear. After tossing them aside negligently, he then turned to the usual routine of getting the water going and even as he did so, he noted that for once he didn't need to start his day with a cold shower.

With a sigh, he admitted to himself that the attractive man sleeping in his bed hadn't lost any of his appeal, it was simply the fact that as eleven o'clock approached his thoughts had stayed on what was ahead of him and whether or not he could handle the situation. As he stepped under the hot spray of the showerhead and found the beating of water on his bare flesh relaxing, Gojyo was temporarily able to lose himself in the cleansing ritual which would leave him as ready to face his fate as he could hope to get.

*****

Roughly twenty minutes later, the crimson-haired teen was clean, dry, and frustrated by something else entirely.

Standing in front of his small closet, Gojyo glared at the selection of clothes he'd never found fault with in the past. Even though he'd never attended anything at the temple before, he knew quite well that one did not simply show up there dressed in blue jeans and a tee-shirt even if that would've helped put his mind to ease by allowing himself some physical comfort. Instead, he knew he needed to wear something "respectable" but he didn't know what that might be considering the fact that his wardrobe was geared towards the casual seduction of women as much as anything else. [1]

Shoving a few stacks of clothes this way and that, he discovered a pair of almost too-tight, jet black jeans he'd forgotten about that he hoped might work even as he pulled them off the shelf. As he bent to don the pants, his eyes fell on the high, coal-colored motorcycle boots he'd worn with these jeans in the past and decided they would certainly look better than his heavy brown work boots would and put them on, too.

A bit more searching uncovered a butter-soft, calf-length, ebony leather duster he'd won off of some drunken fool who ran out of money to bet at poker long before he realized he'd never win against a talented gambler such as himself. After giving it a good hard shake to get the worst of the dust off of it, Gojyo frowned a little then slipped it on over his bare shoulders intending to take a look in the bathroom mirror to see whether or not it might suit his current needs.

As he stepped out of his closet, though, a quiet cry of distress caught his ears and all thoughts of fashion and fitting in at the ceremony for Kiko were completely erased.

"no! please, no," Gonou's voice pleaded softly as his usually placid face twisted into a mask of sheer agony and terror even though he remained deeply asleep.

"Nanashi?!" Gojyo exclaimed without thinking about his partial state of dress and rushed towards the bed intending to do whatever it took to calm his distressed companion.

But before he could make the short journey to his friend's side, the emerald-eyed man inhaled sharply as he broke the surface of the nightmare and gazed about frantically searching for his roommate. Panting for breath and trying to slow the thundering of his heart, Gonou whispered to himself, "oh, thank god! it was just a dream."

Moving quickly to sit beside the person he'd become so fond of, the crimson-haired man instinctively placed a warm comforting hand against the side of the brunette's face as he had barely an hour earlier and asked worriedly, "What was it, baby? What did you dream that upset you so much, Nanashi?"

Gonou simply shook his head sorrowfully and answered quietly, "I can't say." There simply weren't any words he could use to express the horror he felt upon recalling the dream images which his guilty conscience constructed to torture himself with.

Within the nightmare, the former teacher was still lost in the bloodlust that controlled him as he became a mass murderer. Gojyo's handsome face had replaced that of the Crow clansman whose eyes he had gouged out prior to killing him, leaving the half-breed's blood to coat fingers that held an eye with a scarlet iris instead of an onyx-colored one. The very idea of anything like that happening to the man who had saved his life and then had given him a home was too horrifying to contemplate and it was all Gonou could do to keep from bursting into agonized tears because of it.

Unsure of what to do or how to help, Gojyo relied on what had worked in the past and simply stroked the side of the miserable man's face for a moment then said gently, "All right. If you're sure you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask again, but you seem to be hurting more than just from the nightmare. Do you need some of the painkillers Long left for you, Nanashi?"

Acknowledging his failure to overcome the wretchedness he felt, Gonou forced himself to open his eye and look at the concerned face gazing at him so worriedly. Wanting to not only escape the pain he felt but to also satisfy his caregiver's desire to aid him, he forced a small, honest smile onto his lips and accepted, "Yes, I think that might be wise after all."

"I agree," Gojyo stated firmly then smiled tenderly as he added, "Let me go get them for you." He didn't wait for an answer as he rose and quickly obtained not only the medicine but also some soothing fruit juice he thought might help his friend to feel a little better.

Hurrying back into the main room carrying the pills in one hand and a small cup in the other, Gojyo didn't think about the way he looked with the open duster swirling around his black-clad legs as he strode forward smiling encouragingly. His long crimson tresses had yet to be tied back into their usual tail and they cascaded over his shoulders, occasionally dancing across the bare suntanned skin of his chest and all in all, it was a breathtaking sight which somehow seemed achingly familiar to the bedridden man.

Unaware of the reason for the odd half-smile on his roommate's face, Gojyo handed Gonou the pills then sat beside him hip to hip before sliding a strong arm around his back, gently lifting the other man upwards before holding the glass to his lips instructing him wordlessly to drink.

A bit surprised by the seemingly excessive care he was receiving yet feeling immensely grateful for it, the emerald-eyed man did as he was bidden and sipped the juice slowly for a moment then slipped the pills between his lips and swallowed them. Turning his lips back to the rim of the glass and drinking more of the sweet fluid, he noticed how comforting it was to rely so totally on the other man and somehow the sensation of a strong arm covered in leather behind him supporting him made it even better.

Pleased that not only had the previously distraught man calmed down so completely but that he'd also finally submitted to the need for medication, Gojyo continued to smile tenderly as he set the glass of juice aside and asked gently, "Feeling better now, babe?"

Accepting the term of endearment unquestioningly, Gonou nodded slightly and did something he wouldn't have anticipated doing which was to lean against his companion more, letting the full weight of his upper body rest against that of the other man as he placed his head against Gojyo's shoulder. With a contented sigh, he answered quietly, "Yes, thank you."

"Good. Me too," Gojyo admitted, leaning his head against Gonou's lightly for a moment before he asked nervously, "Um, care to tell me why you were giving me odd looks earlier? When I came in from the kitchen, I mean."

The brunette smiled even though his friend couldn't see it and admitted, "Well, for one thing, it never occurred to me that you might look quite so exquisite in leather. For another, the moment I saw you that way, shirtless and dressed all in black, that odd sense of déjà vu returned."

"Oh? Really?" Scarlet eyes blinked slightly since Gojyo hadn't felt it this time but his soul had also not realized how closely his current apparel matched a uniform it had worn time and time again five hundred years in the past. Frowning thoughtfully, he commented, "I wonder what it is about today that that keeps happening."

"It's happening again now, too," Gonou added gently even as he relaxed further into the other man's embrace.

Gojyo chuckled very softly and remarked, "Well, if it makes you feel better then I'm all for it, Nanashi." Realizing time was slipping away, he sighed heavily and said with regret, "Unfortunately, I still need to find a shirt to wear and then I'd better get my ass out of here or I'll be late and I don't want Zan to think I'm not coming."

Suddenly being brought back to reality, Gonou's smile faded and he nodded as he tried to move away from his friend's side saying, "Ah, of course."

"Hey now, not so fast!" Gojyo stated as he firmly pulled the other man back against him for a moment more. He wasn't surprised when Gonou immediately acquiesced and quite gladly remained where he was but it did make his thoughts a little lighter and his smile a bit brighter as he asked in a hopeful voice, "So, you thought I looked pretty hot all decked out in black leather, huh?"

"Yes, I did indeed," the former teacher answered easily and without hesitation. "It's extremely flattering on you and it certainly highlighted some of your best features."

"Only some of them?" Gojyo asked with barely suppressed amusement, curious where this was headed even though he knew he shouldn't be having this conversation with someone he was supposedly not getting involved with too deeply. His earlier commitment to himself not to get overly close to this stranger hadn't lasted long but it had been an impossible task from the very beginning and his failure truly held little meaning in the long run.

Frowning slightly since this seemed so obvious, Gonou explained, "Well, your attractive smile certainly doesn't need any help and neither does the self-confident grace with which you move regardless of what you wear. I just thought that the coat emphasized your physique quite nicely while the jeans and boots certainly accentuate your legs." Tilting his head towards his friend and offering his usual neutral smile, he added with neither regret nor hopefulness, "I'm sure that your lady friends find you quite irresistible in that outfit."

Fighting the desire to scowl and state that he didn't give a damn what the women who he hadn't given much thought to lately felt about it, Gojyo forced a cocky smirk onto his lips. Then he admitted, "Well, maybe they will someday, but as of now, you're the only one to see me like this." Glancing down at his own attire he added, "I guess these make an okay combination, but I never even thought to put these things together this way before today, actually."

"Ah, I see," Gonou nodded sleepily as the drugs began to take effect on him. Then he unwittingly snuggled closer to Gojyo, emerald eye slipping closed again as he remarked in a quietly grateful tone, "Then it is my good fortune to have been here to see it. You certainly look even more impressive than usual in that ensemble."

As his smirk softened into a true smile, Gojyo successfully fought the desire to disagree and state that he was the lucky one to have had the handsome mystery man there to tell him what he had in the first place. Instead, he offered gently, "Remind me to wear this the night you and me go out to paint the town red to celebrate your recovery, okay, babe?"

There was no response other than a tired nod of the head resting so warmly against his shoulder and then the nineteen year old eased his companion down farther into the covers.

With all of the care and concern he felt for the man who was still recovering from nearly fatal injuries, the redhead tucked the brunette back into bed, saying, "But for now, why don't we get you comfy and I'll be back before you know it, all right?"

Yawning and turning onto his side in a useless effort to get comfortable, Gonou slipped almost immediately into a deep, drug-induced slumber.

Gojyo reached out and stroked soft, chocolate-colored bangs back from a high forehead that remained swathed in bandages and he sighed wistfully, thinking that it would've been so much easier to face the situation at the temple with his new friend by his side than it would be without him. Forcing himself to face the fact that this was an impossible wish, he rose slowly from the bed and went back to rummaging through his small closet and wishing his wardrobe wasn't as limited as it was.

Eventually the gambler found a white, form-fitting silk shirt he'd rather not have worn since it had been a gift from one of the many women who lusted after him that he no longer cared much about yet he wore it anyway. Within a few moments more, he was fully attired and as close to ready to face his destiny as he could be.

As the scarlet-eyed teen stepped away from the closet en route to the front door, however, he made a predictable detour.

Standing beside the bed the way he did so often these days, Gojyo gazed once more at his roommate and said too softly to disturb him, "i know it's really selfish of me to say this, nanashi, but i wish you were going with me today. maybe then i wouldn't have this god-awful feeling of impending doom."

With a deep sigh, he straightened and ran a hand through cascading crimson hair that he'd deliberately left loose for a change and added sadly, "But I can see that Long was right about you needing to stay in bed for quite awhile. If moving around causes you as much pain as it did this morning, I'd think it'll be a helluva lot longer than another three weeks before you ought to be up and around, baby." With a slight nod of decision he added firmly, "I'll just have to see to it that you stay put until you're ready, now won't I?"

Feeling somewhat stronger thanks to having made yet another commitment to protect his roommate, Gojyo finally left the safety of his apartment never realizing that he couldn't live up to that promise no matter how much he wished it could be otherwise. Shoving hands into the pockets of tight jeans and stepping into the late morning sunshine with a false sense of security, the half-breed made his way to the temple unaware that a painful challenge awaited him there.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] As I was planning the upcoming scene at the temple, it occurred to me that nowhere in the course of the anime is Gojyo shown in anything even approaching clothing sufficiently formal to wear to a religious ceremony. Since this gave my muses a challenge as well as free rein over the handsome gambler's wardrobe, I made the selections described within hoping to attain two goals at once. First, of course, I wanted him to be as close to drop-dead gorgeous as possible while still presentable for an environment I assume to be basically church-like. Second, I wanted to evoke images of Kenren in uniform without mimicking it too closely. I sincerely hope I've attained both of these goals and that if nothing else, I gave several people reason to smile as they read this portion of the fic.