Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ A Friend's Visit Brings Realizations ( Chapter 15 )

Title: Fateful Encounters [part 15/?]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June - November, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

Exactly a week after tragic events at the nearby temple had given Gojyo and his roommate a few hours of incredible closeness that neither man could remember clearly, a most welcome visitor arrived at their front door.

"Oi! Tonpu!" The crimson-haired nineteen year old greeted his dark-eyed friend even as he noted a few stars were beginning to twinkle in the darkening sky, the crisp air somewhat cooler than normal for that time of the year.

"Hey, Gojyo!" Tonpu smiled broadly and held aloft four heavy bags showing that he'd brought not only the groceries that he'd offered to pick up during a prior visit, but also an assortment of boxy containers filed with piping hot take-out for them all to share. With an almost shy smile, he greeted the emerald-eyed man who was gazing at him from his spot in bed propped against some pillows, saying, "Hello, Nanashi. How are you feeling this evening?"

With his usual neutral smile in place which the new arrival mistook for an expression of actual happiness instead of the mask that it was, something Gojyo knew better than to do, Gonou answered politely, "I am as well as can be expected, Tonpu. Thank you for asking." While the scarlet-eyed man shot him a glance that silently asked what the hell that remark meant, he added with greater interest, "While I hope it wasn't a lot of trouble to bring dinner for us, it is certainly quite kind of you to do so."

Tonpu's smile brightened once more, pleased to think that he'd made the interesting and attractive man happy with what had seemed like a small gesture at the time, then he asked his gambling buddy, "Where would you like all of this, Gojyo?" His gaze fell on the bags in his hands as he admitted sheepishly, "Um, they're getting heavy. Especially the one with the beer and wine in it."

Snapped out of his temporarily dark thoughts as he correctly worried that perhaps his roommate wasn't keeping him fully informed about how the recovery from his serious injuries was progressing, Gojyo grinned broadly and took almost all of the packages from Tonpu's hands, saying, "You brought dinner *and* drinks, dude?! Way to go!!" Cheerfully hauling the bags into the kitchen and starting to store things away quickly so as to not let the food get cold, he called back, "Let me grab some plates and we'll chow down! Just knock the crap off the table by the bed and you can put the food on it, okay?"

Realizing that the so-called "crap" on the table was nothing more than a barely used ashtray and a deck of playing cards, the blue-haired man answered cheerfully, "Not a problem, Gojyo! Hey, after dinner, want to play some poker? It'll be like old times!"

"Sure thing!" The half-breed called back even as he removed the cold cans of Asahi from their carton, practically hugging them since he'd run out two days prior and missed indulging one of the few vices he allowed himself now that he was responsible for someone else. Carrying two of them into the main room and handing one to Tonpu who opened it and took a swallow, he asked uncertainly, "Um, Nanashi? I'm sure Long would kill me for this, but do you want a beer or anything? You haven't needed any of those painkillers for a day or so, think it's safe for you to drink yet?"

Equally uncertain of the wisdom of the suggestion yet wishing for a way to feel a bit more included with the able-bodied men, Gonou paused only a moment then inquired, "What kind of wine did you bring, Tonpu? Perhaps a small glass of that might not be a problem?"

Feeling the pleasant sensation he always experienced when the attractive mystery man's attention was on him, Tonpu answered with a hopeful tone, "It's an import. Fu-ki Plum from Japan." [1] Dark eyes riveted on the sole emerald orb whose twin remained bandaged and therefore unavailable for him to enjoy looking at, he explained, "It's fairly sweet and I thought it might make a good dessert wine." He carefully didn't add that he'd selected it thinking about the brunette and that it had been his experience that quiet people often had gentler tastes in alcohol than someone loud like Gojyo who preferred a good whisky or beer any day.

A hint of true happiness touched Gonou's heart and the corner of his eye crinkled as his smile grew warmer as he said, "That sounds lovely. It has been so terribly long since I've had anything like that."

Utterly amazed that their visitor had coaxed a rare, totally honest smile from his companion, the lanky half-breed announced delightedly, "Well then, if that's the case, I think I'll redefine the term 'dessert wine' to mean 'appetizer wine', too, and get ya a glass, okay, babe?" Not noticing the way Tonpu's eyes widened slightly in response to the nickname he used so often now that he failed to consider its impact on those unfamiliar with their interactions, Gojyo hoped his offer would be accepted.

"That would be wonderful, Gojyo." With an expression of appreciation clear in his eyes, Gonou turned towards the man who had brought them several reasons to feel happy and he said sincerely, "You've been more than kind to us tonight, Tonpu. Thank you again."

"You're very welcome, Nanashi," Tonpu answered with a slight hint of a blush on his cheeks as he quickly put away the things on the table to make room for their meal.

Within a few minutes, Gonou had rearranged himself on the bed so that he wasn't leaning on the pillows since that made him feel too conscious of his infirmities and was delicately sipping at the rich wine with an expression of pleasure that Gojyo was delighted to see. Granted, it made him wonder how to put that same look on the often withdrawn person's face more often, but for now he was content to open the small containers of delicious food for them all to share which they did quite eagerly.

As the trio ate and talked together, the mood in the small apartment seemed lighter than it had in a long time.

The two who had been friends the longest shared amusing anecdotes, each trying to embarrass the other in front of Gonou who always laughed politely yet didn't pass judgement on either one. As far as he was concerned, their tales of sexual misconduct and general mischief were so mild compared to his own heinous actions of late he was certainly in no position to find anything they had done worthy of contempt.

As the three of them chatted, Gojyo became painfully aware of the fact that Tonpu was unconsciously flirting with his roommate, something the scarlet-eyed man immediately didn't like yet could find no valid reason to interfere with without sounding like he was jealous. In actuality, Gonou was totally unaware of the tiny, seductive things the blue-haired man was saying and doing but Gojyo wasn't since they were an intrinsic part of his old friend's natural charm and outgoing personality. If the half-breed had realized that Tonpu had already given him plenty of hints that he was quite possibly bisexual, he might've done something about the situation before it became a problem, but unfortunately he didn't.

To his dismay, Gojyo was experiencing an unwelcome state of arousal and even though he blamed it on the fact that he and Tonpu had been joking about sexual matters on and off as they always did, the gambler was starting to reexamine his feelings for his roommate.

Each and every morning beginning a few days after the aborted ceremony for Kiko, Gojyo had awakened with an almost painful need for intimate companionship and had ended up relieving that need in the shower, preferably taking care of the situation before his roommate ever even woke up. He'd discovered the hard way that if he attempted to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee with the attractive brunette while Gonou's hair and clothes were pleasantly rumpled by sleep, he ran the risk that his body might reveal something he didn't want it to. What made the situation even worse was the fact that at least once or twice, he'd unexpectedly found himself imagining that it was Gonou's hand giving him pleasure instead of his own in the shower and Gojyo truly despised himself for that.

Forcing down a desire to groan in frustration, the crimson-haired man rose from the table unexpectedly and grabbed his pack of hi-lites and a lighter from the dresser while announcing, "Excuse me, guys. I gotta go outside and grab a smoke before I die of withdrawal."

Startled since his companion had never expressed such a desperate need for a cigarette before, Gonou blinked at him and asked worriedly, "Are you all right, Gojyo?" Seeing indecision and slight pain in ruby-toned eyes he pointed out something he'd thought he'd made clear in several previous conversations, "This is *your* home after all. Why not stay inside for that?"

Wondering the same thing, Tonpu gazed from one to the other and didn't say anything, curious how the housemates handled what appeared to be a conflict between them.

Running a hand through his hair nervously and searching for an excuse that made some semblance of sense and not finding one quickly, the gambler gave the former teacher a pleading look then shrugged his shoulders and said simply, "I just feel better not smoking around you, Nanashi, okay? Doc Zan told me not to way back when you first came here, so I guess it bothers me if I do." Seeing forgiveness as well as a lack of understanding in the verdant eye that gazed back at him, he added, "I know, I know, that's not a good enough reason, but humor me, okay, babe?"

The corners of Gonou's lips lifted in a smile that carried an honest combination of sadness and gentle affection as he answered, "Of course, Gojyo. I hadn't meant to make you uncomfortable." Giving Tonpu a smile that was less sincere than the one he'd gifted his roommate with, he added, "I am quite sure we can amuse ourselves for a little while. Please, take your time and enjoy a breath of fresh air."

Relieved, the taller of the two nodded and grinned a little as he said, "Thanks for understanding, baby! I appreciate it." Noticing Tonpu's keen interest in the conversation, Gojyo felt jealousy rising once more within him so he tried to defuse the situation by suggesting, "Hey, Tonpu? How's about we dump these dishes in the kitchen after I get back inside and we can all play some cards like you suggested?"

"Why wait? Nanashi and I can get started on that and--" Realizing he had just said something possibly very, very wrong since the recovering patient couldn't even leave his bed without assistance, Tonpu interrupted himself and turned towards Gonou, saying sincerely, "I am *so* sorry about that, Nanashi! For a moment there, I forgot you couldn't get up and walk around. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings or anything."

Waving a hand up and down before him as if to fend off the unwanted pleas, Gonou asserted urgently, "No apology needed, Tonpu! I don't take offense easily." Noticing a smoldering emotion he was unfamiliar with roiling in twin pools of molten red where the half-breed stood frozen by the door, he added with a nervous chuckle, "Really, Gojyo, it's fine! I'm not upset in the least!"

"If you're sure," the annoyed teen snarled, not at all pleased with the idea of walking outside at that point, fearing Tonpu might decide to add his other foot to his mouth by committing a second faux pas in his absence.

"Certainly! There's nothing to be annoyed about," Gonou insisted then reached for a half-full container of fried rice before folding the flaps in to prepare it for the refrigerator as he said, "See? I can indeed help if by doing nothing more difficult than closing the leftovers, yes?"

Snorting softly and realizing he was making a mountain out of a molehill in the eyes of someone important to him, Gojyo tried to shove the over-protectiveness which had just overtaken him back into the depths of his soul, then shrugged and agreed, "Well, all right. You guys take care of this mess and I'll be back in a bit."

"Sure thing, Gojyo," Tonpu answered somewhat nervously since he hadn't often seen the man change moods so quickly unless the topic of his hair or eye color was brought up. He made a mental note to be more careful about what he said to Gonou in the future now that it was clear that there was more going on between the other two than met the eye. Naturally, the blue-haired man was curious to know precisely what the nature of their relationship was and what it might mean in the long run for them all, but he didn't speculate about it aloud.

As the front door closed behind the departing teen, both of those still inside the small apartment heaved sighs of relief which the other didn't notice and then they set about their assigned tasks, quickly and efficiently cleaning up from their meal. Once or twice, while Tonpu was in the kitchen putting things away in the refrigerator, Gonou winced as pain grew within him yet he was careful to make sure that no one was aware of it.

Outside in the comforting darkness of the night which reminded him of the way their apartment had been for so long that he had grown fond of it, Gojyo lit up quickly and then leaned against the building grumbling to himself, "Fuck. If I'm this touchy over such small shit, something's gotta give."

Cigarette clamped firmly between his teeth, Gojyo tilted his head back and let it rest against the wall all the while wondering how to cope with the strange welter of feelings he was beginning to acknowledge that he had for his roommate.

The fondness the half-breed had developed for the injured man even while he was in a coma had only grown stronger and this wasn't a problem since it seemed like classic male-bonding to him. On the other hand, he could no longer deny the sense of attraction he felt towards the man who slept in his bed, ate his food, and laughed at his jokes even when they weren't funny. Strangest of all to him, though, was the jealousy that had washed through him earlier since he wasn't by nature a terribly jealous man. In fact, it had never bothered him in the least to see any of the women he routinely had sex with on another man's arm but to witness something as seemingly small as a true smile on Gonou's face because of something Tonpu said or did filled him with possessiveness.

Unsure whether to thank his blue-haired friend for giving him the push he needed to come to this unsettling realization or to simply punch the guy for unknowingly flirting with someone he cared about, Gojyo continued to think it over for a few more minutes.

After watching the red blossom of burning tobacco get too close to his second cigarette's filter, he flicked the butt away and chose another option, wisely deciding to limit the card games to a few hands before sending their guest home so he could talk with his roommate privately.

Opening the door and stepping back into what now seemed like a too brightly lit room, Gojyo immediately heard Gonou's polite laughter in response to one of Tonpu's favorite jokes and he asked nonchalantly, "Anyone up for poker?" Unhurried steps took him close to the bed and he stood beside his roommate almost close enough to smell the faintly fruity scent of Lemon Zinger tea on the brunette's breath since it had been his beverage of choice after the single glass of plum wine. [2]

"Sure thing!" Tonpu agreed cheerfully, unaware that he'd caused his old friend to do some much needed soul-searching. Picking up the card deck that he'd brought back to the table and starting to shuffle it, he missed a brief exchange between the other two.

Slightly more reserved yet not unenthusiastic, Gonou turned towards his companion and the false smile melted slightly as a true one peeked past it while he said, "Yes, I think a game or two would be nice, Gojyo. But tell me, please, do you feel better now?"

"Yeah, babe, I do," the crimson-haired man responded in a gentle tone. Then he did something that he hadn't all evening and placed a strong hand on Gonou's shoulder, squeezing it lightly and offering the silent signal of reassurance he'd used with the intriguing man from the very beginning of their time together.

Noting the warmth and being grateful for it, the sole emerald orb peered up at the handsome man standing close by and Gonou said quietly, "I'm glad to hear it. I was getting a little worried about you." There was a hint of regret on his face as the comforting touch left him so that the private sharing of support remained between just the two of them.

Cocking his head to one side and giving his companion a quizzical yet charming look, Gojyo found words failed him in that moment and then he saucily winked and enthused, "Let's show Tonpu what a damned good poker player you really are, Nanashi-baby!"

Blinking his eye and pretending to be innocent in the hopes of encouraging more smiles and fewer worried gazes from someone he cared deeply about, Gonou replied with deliberately false sweetness, "I have no idea what you might be talking about, Gojyo. I'm merely lucky from time to time, that's all."

"Yeah, right," Gojyo laughed out loud and caused Tonpu to look up from the deck in curiosity since this was a playful side to the brunette that he had never seen before and found fascinating. Then the crimson-haired man snorted as he grabbed a chair and lounged in it as he stated flatly, "Well, then, Mr. No-I-Do-Not-Have-The-Luck-of-the-Devil, let's play. And if either of us lesser beings beats you fair and square more times than not, I'll take it back."

Utterly lost, Tonpu looked from one man to the other and back again before saying, "Um, am I about to be *very* glad we aren't playing for stakes?"

Chuckling slightly and reaching out to cut the deck so the game could begin, Gojyo answered, "You could say *that* again! Unless of course you want to just give Nanashi whatever you've got in mind to bet. He'll win it anyway." He split the cards almost perfectly in two and then gestured towards the self-appointed dealer and said, "Just play, dude. You'll see what I mean."

"Um, all right," the dark-eyed man answered and then spent the next half-hour or so realizing that Gojyo hadn't been kidding in the least.

Winning hand after hand while apologizing the entire time for simply being luckier than most, Gonou eventually suggested with a weary sigh, "Why don't we call it a night? I've enjoyed this immensely and it was terribly kind of you to bring us groceries as well as dinner then stay and play cards for awhile, Tonpu, but I'm afraid that I've grown tired."

Feeling relieved that the torture of what had felt like being tutored in poker by a world champion player was over without his having to beg to end the embarrassment, the blue-haired man agreed readily, "Sounds like a good idea to me." Giving both of the other people at the table smiles, Tonpu rose and as Gojyo mimicked him intending to at least escort him the short distance to the door, he added sincerely, "It's great that you're feeling a lot better now, Nanashi. I'll probably drop by again in a few days and see if you two need anything, okay?"

"You are too kind, Tonpu. Thank you," Gonou accepted graciously. Grimacing slightly, he then moved so he could lean back against his pillows for the first time in several hours hoping to ease some of the pain in his abdomen where the previously severed muscles were still incompletely healed and quite tender.

Striding with his friend to the door and then stepping out with him for only a moment, Gojyo extended his hand and as he gave Tonpu a grateful handshake, he remarked, "Thanks for everything, man. I appreciate it!"

Assuming that all he meant was the food, drink, and possibly the entertainment of watching him lose every game of poker they had played, Tonpu shrugged slightly and smirked, "Sure thing, Gojyo. Like I said, I'll come by again in a few days and I'll see you then, right?" He laughed a bit and then added jokingly, "That is unless you change your mind about not hanging out at the bar. I think Nanashi looked well enough you could leave him on his own for an hour or two once in awhile now, though, so maybe you might drop in? The girls would all *love* to see you again, you know!"

Laughing outright and thinking that he'd be smacked against a wall and unladylike demands for sex would rain down on him like it was monsoon season if he did show his roguish face at the bar any time soon, Gojyo shrugged and replied, "I'm not planning on it, Tonpu. But I guess anything's possible." Offering a mock-salute as a gesture of farewell, he added, "Catch ya on the flip side, dude!"

"See you!" The blue-haired man called back and walked off into the darkness pleased to have spent an evening in the company of friends even if there had been a few slightly tense moments.

Shaking his head in amusement, Gojyo headed back to Gonou's side intending to make good on his decision to discover the man's true feelings about himself and whether or not there was a possibility for more between them than chaste friendship. Not that he intended to pursue sexual relations with the currently frail man by any means, he mostly needed to know if there was a chance that Gonou might share at least a little of the attraction he felt and possibly reveal his true self more often.

Simply put, the crimson-haired man merely wished to find ways to bring both of them some happiness, something neither of them had had nearly enough of in their short, sorrowful lives. Unfortunately, things were rarely that simple for either of them and achieving this noble goal would prove to be no different.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] While planning this scene, I was wondering whether to include sake for Gonou or something else since it's quite clear in the anime that he enjoys more than a little wine. Then, during one of the fact finding missions we call "weekly grocery shopping", my kids spotted this brand and thought that our quiet, somewhat introverted brunette would enjoy this. Granted, Gojyo probably wouldn't want to be caught dead drinking it, but that's okay since Tonpu conveniently brought a 12-pack of Asahi.

[2] Ah, beverage choice issues again. Why Lemon Zinger from Celestial Seasoning? Why not? I like to drink it at night when I'm writing since it's caffeine-free plus the name alone adds a nice hint of where Gojyo's mind is at this point without giving any of the plot away.