Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ Painful Consequences ( Chapter 16 )

Title: Fateful Encounters [part 16/?]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June - November, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

As he stepped back into the now quiet apartment, Gojyo immediately noticed the agonized grimace on his companion's face and set aside his plans for a heart-to-heart talk with the other man as he asked worriedly, "What's wrong, Nanashi?! Are you in pain or something?"

Unwilling to trust his voice to not reveal the simple fact that he was indeed quite miserable at that point, Gonou merely smiled sadly and nodded while wishing he could erase the expression of guilt on his caretaker's handsome face. The choice had been his own to force insufficiently healed abdominal muscles to keep him upright for too long, but he had also concealed his true levels of discomfort recently primarily due to the fact that it went against his nature to complain.

The human-turned-youkai's tendency to prefer to suffer in silence as opposed to asking for the help he needed would repeatedly come back to haunt those who traveled with him during an epic journey yet to come.

The half-breed privately cursed himself for serving Gonou even so little as one glass of wine as he crossed the room then knelt beside the bed and inquired, "What can I do to help you feel better, baby? I'm not sure if you should take any of that medication Long gave you if you have any alcohol in your system, but let me see what the bottle says, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, he retrieved the box of medical items from under the bed and rummaged through it before pulling out the painkillers.

In a voice much weaker than he had allowed himself to use all evening since he hadn't wanted their guest to know that he had become absolutely miserable, Gonou insisted, "No, no, I'll be fine, Gojyo. I think I just need to rest a bit. I shouldn't have tried to sit unsupported for so long." There was an expression of apology on his face since he wished that he hadn't burdened his friend with his weakness yet again and then he repeated his unlikely assertion, "Please don't worry. I should be fine in a moment or two."

Scowling and clearly dissatisfied enough to go ahead and read the instructions on the medicine container, Gojyo snarled softly, "That's bullshit and you know it!" Shaking his head angrily as he looked back at his obviously miserable friend, he tried to calm down and failed since it wasn't Gonou he was angry with in the first place. Then he mentioned pointedly, "There's a label on this that says taking this after drinking alcohol makes you sleepy and that's probably a good thing. I think you could use some rest soon, don't you, Nanashi?"

"Well, perhaps that would be wise," Gonou acquiesced and glanced away even as he heard the bottle being popped open and some tablets being shaken out. When he turned back, he found himself gazing into a terribly earnest, concerned face that he would someday learn he could never say "no" to and make it stick. However, the fact that he couldn't refuse Gojyo when he wanted something badly was an excellent thing since this tendency which was ingrained in Gonou's very soul would keep him from being prematurely apprehended by a furious priest prior to facing a painful yet necessary aspect of his destiny.

"I'd say that's putting it awfully damned lightly, sweetheart!" Gojyo snapped at him, angry with himself for unknowingly allowing his friend to be in pain for the sake of an evening's amusement. Grabbing the now lukewarm cup of herbal tea that Gonou had been drinking while they played cards, he held it in one hand and the pills in the other before asking, "Now, are you going to be a good boy and take these for me the easy way? Or do I need to force-feed them to you?"

"'Force-feed them'?" Gonou echoed in a timid voice, reaching for the cup and the medicine quickly so as to avoid whatever that fairly frightening phrase meant.

Smirking and feeling as if the minor bit of intimidation had been worth it, Gojyo patted the bedridden man gently on the leg and explained, "You know, like in the movies when someone's too weak to take medicine? Then someone else puts it in their mouth and sorta kisses them until they swallow it, that's what I meant."

Blinking in surprise and feeling glad that he didn't choke on the tea he was suddenly having difficulty swallowing, Gonou handed the cup back with only a little bit of shakiness in his hand. As the fluid and pills finally cleared themselves from his throat so he could speak again, he asked in a shocked tone, "You wouldn't have done that, would you, Gojyo? I'm not *that* bad off at the moment!"

As the smirk gained the tender adoration that was as close to love as he generally allowed himself to show openly to his roommate, Gojyo ran his fingers gently through chocolate-colored hair he'd hardly been able to resist playing with that evening and admitted, "Probably not. But it got you to take those pills without thinking it through too much more, now didn't it?"

"Well, yes, this is true," Gonou agreed hesitantly since he wasn't sure just exactly how he felt about the fact that his friend truly had no compunction against forcing him to do whatever he thought was best. Then he sighed tiredly and changed the subject entirely as he asked hopefully, "Did you have fun tonight, Gojyo?"

Rocking back and seating himself on his heels for a moment, Gojyo nodded happily and answered, "I sure did! It's been great hanging out here with you all the time for the last couple of weeks, but it was nice to see Tonpu, too." Tilting his head to one side so he could reach up and pull his hair tie free since it had worked its way loose in the course of the day, he added cryptically, "It made me think about a lot of stuff I hadn't really thought about, too. That was good."

Busy trying to repress a yawn that wanted to rudely interrupt them, Gonou missed part of what had been said and gave his friend a small, warm smile that gave Gojyo hope, and he remarked, "I'm pleased you don't find my company tiresome. However it was nice to see another side of you as you talked and joked with Tonpu. You both made each other laugh so much, it reminded me of the children I used to teach."

"Oh?" Gojyo asked curiously. He was clearly disregarding his earlier decision not to learn more about the mysterious man who shared his home as well as his life as he pursued the topic enthusiastically, asking, "You were a teacher, Nanashi? That's really cool! What ages? What'd you teach? Math? Art? Science?"

A pleasantly distant expression painted itself onto Gonou's gentle face as he said, "All ages, all subjects. It was a very small village and we were quite lucky to have a community that appreciated its children enough to provide them with a school at all." [1] With a soft sigh he recalled those halcyon days that would never be his again. Smiling with great tenderness despite his physical suffering, he added, "They were such darling children. Always so full of life and asking a thousand questions. We had such fun together, it was simply wonderful."

"Really?" Gojyo asked for lack of a better response and wanted to find some way to prolong this rare moment of insight into what had brought his usually secretive friend such great happiness in the past. Without thinking about it, he leaned forward and stroked Gonou's cheek lightly as he said quietly, "They must have been really special kids to make you smile like this, baby."

Chuckling softly, Gonou reached out and traced a slender finger over the upper arch of one of Gojyo's ears, caressing it briefly while dislodging a trapped crimson lock which he then finger-combed to ease out the slight kink left in it by the hair-tie. Unaware of the astounded expression this brought to his roommate's face since he wasn't as apt to play with someone else's hair as Gojyo himself was, the brunette continued to smile tenderly as he said with a soft sigh of memory, "They were."

Glad to have found something that might bring the quiet man some joy in life, Gojyo was about to suggest that Gonou consider seeking a teaching position at the local school, an idea that carried with it an unspoken wish that the emerald-eyed man remain close by. However, this was a question that would remain unasked for a very long time.

Unexpectedly, the human-turned-youkai shuddered slightly as a feeling of cold swept through him which a superstitious person might have described as feeling as if someone had just walked across their grave.

Reacting to the change immediately, Gojyo moved his hand from Gonou's cheek to his forehead and inquired worriedly, "Are you running a fever or something, baby?" The memory of days and nights when that very thing haunted him with each insertion of an IV needle came to mind, but the soft skin beneath his palm was cool instead of overheated.

"No, I don't think so," the slightly embarrassed man answered then stated as if he wasn't sure, "Perhaps I'm a bit chilled? I don't know why, though."

Realizing the front door had been opened and shut far more often that evening than usual, Gojyo decided that was a likely reason for the problem but he focused instead on finding a solution to the matter and suggested, "Well, then, why don't we get you settled for bed?" With a warm smile and a decision to not press his friend for the heart-to-heart talk he'd wanted earlier, he cupped Gonou's cheek warmly once more and added with gentle humor, "You're looking pretty ragged right now, baby. Maybe the warning on the pill bottle should've said that mixing them with booze makes you 'real sleepy, real quick'?"

Chuckling agreeably and giving his friend a softer smile than anything Tonpu had been allowed to see, Gonou answered quietly, "I very much doubt that one glass of plum wine consumed several hours ago is having this much of an affect on me, Gojyo. But if it will make you feel better, I'll try to get some sleep now."

Giving him a small wink as he rose fluidly from his spot on the floor, the crimson-haired teen replied, "Is that all it takes? Having something make *me* happy will get you to do whatever I want?" Gojyo chuckled slight and certainly wasn't expecting an answer as he went to retrieve the long sleeved tee-shirt and sweatpants his roommate usually slept in, but he got one just the same.

With a small, thoughtful frown, Gonou cocked his head to one side and answered in a voice almost too quiet to be heard, "within reason, yes."

Exceptional long-lashed eyes that sparkled like rubies blinked not once but twice and then Gojyo shook his head and tried not to contemplate how far he could go and stay "within reason". As he returned to the bed, his only slightly less than pure train of thought was appropriately derailed when the thick wads of bandages that continued to protect countless sutures came into view as Gonou unbuttoned his shirt.

Feeling annoyed with himself for simply being the typical, hormone-governed teen that he had been before encountering the injured stranger, Gojyo cleared his throat quietly and asked as he held up the nightwear, "Ready for these?"

"Almost," Gonou looked up at him and shivered slightly as he painfully tried to draw off the jeans he'd been wearing while their guest was present and thereby exposed even more of the damage that had been done to him. Realizing that it still hurt too much to bend enough to get them off, he gave his roommate a sad, helpless smile and asked, "Might I impose on you for some assistance, Gojyo?"

Shaking his head slightly and causing loose blood red hair to sway around his shoulders, the taller of the two stated with a sad sigh, "It's never an 'imposition' to help you, Nanashi. I thought you knew that by now."

"Ah, of course," the brunette seemed to agree yet continued to feel as if his constant need for aid had to be a burden on his friend even though Gojyo never once felt that way and would have argued against the notion to his dying breath.

Moving to gently remove the other man's jeans and set them aside before helping him into the night clothes as he had each and every time Gonou had changed since coming into his life, Gojyo commented quietly, "Your skin really is kinda cold to the touch, though. You should've mentioned this sooner, baby. I could've gotten you a jacket to wear or something." He silently cursed the fact that the heater for the small apartment had malfunctioned months ago and he hadn't bothered to get it repaired yet since it didn't usually get cold this early in the year.

"I hadn't really noticed it earlier, Gojyo, please don't be concerned about it," the exhausted man assured, then yawned tiredly and allowed his friend to bring the covers up around him warmly while he nestled into the mattress and pillows grateful for their comforting presence.

"Yeah, well, I can't help it if I'm a worrywart sometimes." Giving his companion a gentle smile while turning off all but the lamp by the bed to allow the room to darken once more, the gambler mentioned, "I'm going to clean up around here a little then hit the sack myself. Get some sleep, okay?"

Hiding a few more yawns behind one hand, Gonou agreed with a nod and let his eye slip shut once more as he drifted almost immediately into wonderfully pain-free sleep.

Keeping watch over the slumbering man even as he cleared the last of the night's snacks from the table and added even more beer cans to the collection under his sink which was still waiting to be recycled, Gojyo thought he saw Gonou shiver once or twice, but wasn't sure. As he started getting his bedroll on the floor put together again after slipping on his own nightwear, he was finally convinced once and for all that he'd seen his friend trembling and muttered softly, "damn, i wish i had another blanket in this place for you to use, baby."

Realizing that he could offer another form of heat instead, the half-breed rose and hesitantly slipped under the covers of the bed before carefully adjusting his friend's limbs so that they could spoon together and his chest could offer what heat it had to the sleeping man's back. To his relief, his bedmate almost immediately stopped shivering as Gojyo turned off the light before very cautiously draping an arm around his friend and pulling him closer still.

Even though he hadn't awoken in the slightest thanks to many factors, a soft sigh left Gonou's lips and he sank into a pleasant dream that was actually a fragment of a memory made during an afternoon spent in the sun with the one he'd loved in a previous life.

Incredibly pleased to have been able to help, Gojyo started to shift slightly so as to minimize any contact between them that didn't give more warmth, but found his efforts stymied by a single hand placed over his arm as if silently asking him not to move. Smiling in the darkness, he failed to resist the temptation to close one other bit of distance between them and he dropped the faintest of kisses to the back of Gonou's neck, grateful that the other man was far too deeply asleep to feel the gentle caress.

The half-breed's bedmate, however, wasn't as unaware as one might think, and with a single barely audible word, Gonou shocked Gojyo so badly that he wouldn't be able to sleep for several hours. The brunette's lips curved into a soft, sweet smile as he murmured sensuously, "kenren…"

Scarlet eyes flew wide as Gojyo misheard his companion and thought the other man had spoken the name of the woman he'd been told about one day during the previous week. A truly unfortunate combination of consonants had allowed the name of a dashing celestial warrior to be misunderstood as that of a gentle, child-like girl and sadder still was the fact that it wasn't repeated more loudly so as to clarify the situation.

Running a visibly trembling hand through long hair that appeared maroon in the darkness, the startled man cursed softly and tried to process the information he was being presented with. "what the fuck do i do now?" The half-breed asked himself and even though he had heard plenty of the women he'd bedded call other men's names during ecstasy without being the least bit affected by it, hearing this had hurt more than if an arrow had pierced his heart.

Even as the spirit of a man who had died five centuries prior reveled in the dream realm as he relived a tender scene when his beloved partner, a man who he officially outranked yet whom he almost always let have command in private, nibbled on his neck. The general was trying to convince the marshal that he was more than able to make love despite having been brutally punished recently for taking a stand against a morally corrupt man who had no problem sending a recently injured child-like being into danger. Verdant eyes long since turned to dust had dropped half-shut in pleasure and after moaning his lover's name, he offered himself completely to the taller man who took delight in proving his point all too well. [2]

While the current incarnation of the soul once named Tenpou was blissfully unaware of it, that of his soulmate, a man who had been wrestling with his own demons on and off all evening, came to an understandable though deeply dissatisfying conclusion.

Convinced that Gonou was indeed dreaming of the only person he had ever been intimate with, Gojyo decided that this single word was all he needed to hear to be convinced that his companion wasn't ready for a new relationship of any kind. His wish to discuss whether or not there could be more than mere friendship between them would be set aside. It would be a long time before the topic would be brought to light once more and by then the circumstances the pair faced would be quite different. Knowing that he'd do anything in his power not to cause his roommate any unhappiness that could be avoided, the half-youkai chose to suppress his own desires for his handsome roommate as much as possible and that would hopefully be the end of the matter.

Having made this crucial decision, Gojyo forced himself to relax and tried to go to sleep. If he hadn't been concerned that it might wake Gonou if he became cold due to his absence, he certainly would've gotten out of bed and away from possible temptation. However, since the worried teen didn't want to risk that outcome, he just tried not to think about their physical proximity too much and eventually he, too, fell asleep.

The consequences of the decisions and choices made by both men who shared the bed that night would be fairly drastic and within a few short days, their comfortable, companionable life-style would change drastically and not necessarily for the better.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] Regarding Gonou's experiences as a teacher and the type of school he taught at, this is all guesswork on my par, but it amused me to think of him as the master of a one-room schoolhouse.

[2] No surprisingly, this "scene within a scene" has inspired Erato to create her first (Kenren x Tenpou) lemon based on this particular Gaiden scenario of my own invention. That story is entitled "Gentle Reassurances" and is available here at mediaminer.org for your hentai reading pleasure. Please note the angst warnings and the fact that I've had to massage the timeline from the anime a bit to keep it realistic.