Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Fateful Encounters ❯ The Aftermath of a Reveler's Wild Night ( Chapter 18 )

Title: Fateful Encounters [part 18/?]

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: June - December, 2002

Rating: R

Pairings: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Shonen ai/yaoi, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood, Language. AU-OOC.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: shonen ai/yaoi, angst, romance, action/adventure, anime-based bloodshed, crude language matching the characterization of the series, original characters to support the main characters from the anime and not detract from them, medical and other squick, additional warnings and pairings possible as fic comes into being over time. AU-OOC.

Spoilers: Since this is based on episodes 15 & 16 of the anime, there are definite spoilers for them, but there are also minor spoilers for other aspects of the series which I will try to keep to a minimum so readers both new and old can enjoy this tale.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. All original characters featured herein (including but not limited to: Zan, Long, Kiko, etc.) are © Enigma, 2002, and are not to be used without permission. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; kindly do not sue me.

Notes: What might have actually happened after Gojyo found and rescued a severely injured Gonou (a.k.a. Hakkai) three years prior to their journey to the west? How will these revelations change not only their own lives but also Sanzo and Goku's as well?

*****

The morning after the second night in a row that Gojyo and Gonou shared a bed did not start well at all, yet that was not unexpected for at least one of them.

"Oh, crap," Gojyo groaned as a ray of late morning sunlight made its way past the thick blinds covering a nearby window and stabbed him in the eye. Holding one hand to his throbbing head and totally unaware of his location or that he was not alone, he added groggily, "My mouth tastes like something crawled into it and died. Yuck!"

Giving his bedmate a gentle, knowing smile while brushing away a spot of something crusty in blood red hair that smelled of stale smoke, cheap perfume, and things he didn't really wish to identify, Gonou remarked gently, "I can well imagine, Gojyo." As utterly shocked, long-lashed eyes turned towards him and peered across the surface of the pillow the pair was sharing, he added as delicately as he could, "Perhaps if you brushed your teeth it might not be so disagreeable, yes?"

"What the fuck?!" Gojyo exclaimed in shock and scrambled off the bed in a rush trying to get away from his roommate and wondering how on earth he'd ended up in bed with the recovering patient in the first place. Reeling and almost losing his balance due to the lingering effects of over-indulgence, he didn't wait for an answer as he stumbled to the bathroom intending to wash away not only the horrible taste in his mouth but also the putrid scents that surrounded him like a foul, condemning cocoon.

Sighing sadly and wondering how bad the reveler's hangover would be, Gonou had no choice but to remain where he was simply hoping for the best whenever his friend rejoined him in the main room of the small apartment.

For what had to be the fifth time that morning, Gonou wished desperately that he could get out of bed and actually make some coffee for them both. The incapacitated man was horribly parched and the cup which had contained Lemon Zinger tea from the night before had sat empty since long before Gojyo had even returned home. But the former teacher was nothing if not patient and so he remained where he was, trying not to notice how thirsty he was or how badly his bed linens now smelled. There were other things of a more personal nature that also needed attention, yet he studiously ignored those needs as well. [1]

Gonou's thoughts were interrupted by the unmistakable sounds of someone retching violently and as he put a hand to his forehead in sympathy, he remarked quietly, "Oh, Gojyo." Closing his eye and wishing fervently that he could leave his bed unassisted since the other man might be worse off than he thought, he added sadly, "I am a poor friend to be unable to offer you even a fraction of the care you have given me."

Feeling guilty and detesting his infirmities all over again, the brunette remained worried until the sounds of running water assured him that his friend wasn't passed out on the bathroom floor as he had feared following a period of silence from the other side of their home. Sighing and not knowing what to do or how to help the person who had done more for him than anyone else ever had, Gonou made a concerted effort not to become even more depressed than he had been since Kanan's untimely death and met with only moderate success.

*****

While the human-turned-youkai tried not to sink into gloom, his roommate was experiencing a mixture of emotions that almost defied description as the lingering traces of alcohol in his system allowed his thoughts and feelings to swing wildly from one extreme to the other.

As he scrubbed his teeth clean seeking relief from a variety of disgusting flavors in his mouth, Gojyo realized he couldn't even remember getting home the night before and immediately experienced a panicky fear that perhaps he had harmed his roommate. This was followed by a more frightening thought since he stank so thoroughly of sex and a flash of terror hit him as he wondered if he might have sexually assaulted his friend, but as soon as he realized he was still fully dressed he felt that was improbable. Not impossible, of course, merely highly unlikely and he used that thought to put the frightening idea out of his mind since it was more conceivable that he might have injured Gonou physically just by being in bed with him while being intoxicated. However, the gentle smile on the brunette's face mere moments earlier denied that, too, and with a grateful sigh, Gojyo let these fears slide away for awhile.

Thanks to still being somewhat drunk, his jumbled thoughts suddenly went in an entirely different direction and Gojyo recalled how perfectly glorious it had felt to swagger into his favorite bar and be immediately surrounded by some of the loveliest women the village had to offer. As expected, they were more than delighted to welcome him with open arms, parted lips, and willing bodies, but at that moment he couldn't honestly remember how many of them he'd enjoyed sharing pleasure with in a conveniently empty backroom.

"Let's see," the gambler mumbled to himself around the handle of the toothbrush while ignoring the gushing flow from the faucet that drowned out his words, "there was that busty redhead who barely let me get my damned pants open before she jumped me. Then there were those black-haired, identical twins that always fight over who I fuck first, but I don't care about that since I can't tell 'em apart anyway."

Pausing to turn on the water for the shower, Gojyo frowned thoughtfully then laughed because he had hiccuped unexpectedly then commented, "Come to think of it, I don't remember even meeting that cute little, boyish blond with the absolutely *huge* aquamarine eyes before last night, but what the hell? She gave great head, so I'm glad I ran into her!"

With a small shrug, the slightly tipsy teen ignored the noisy fall of water behind him and rinsed out his toothbrush before starting to strip off his unpleasantly aromatic clothes. As he tossed aside the denim jacket that was none the worse for wear, he noted the same couldn't be said for his midnight blue tank top. With a growl of annoyance since it had been an expensive shirt, he acknowledged that the unsightly holes in the silk caused by one of his sex partner's too-sharp fingernails had rendered it useless and he angrily balled it up before throwing it away.

Catching a glimpse of his own reflection in the mirror, the lady's man couldn't help but laugh as he remarked, "I don't recall *ever* coming home with quite *this* much lipstick on me! Damn, but they just couldn't keep their hands off of me!"

As his fingertips brushed past a love-bite high on his chest, Gojyo proclaimed with mock-horror, "Well, fuck! One of them must've tried to *eat* me! Am I good or what?" The pride he felt regarding his ability to have any woman he wanted and then drive her insane with desire sang through his veins leaving him feeling pleasantly smug and wonderfully virile.

Laughing lightly, Gojyo stripped off jeans that were slightly more ripped than before and then as he reached for the waistband of his boxers and tried to slip them off, he grimaced as they clung tenaciously to a body that had needed washing the night before and didn't get it. With a shake of his head since this wasn't anything he hadn't experienced before, he pulled them off and added them to the laundry basket. As some of the lingering haze of alcohol began to leave him, the half-breed made a mental note that he'd need to get the wash done later that day if for no other reason than to eliminate some of the odor that even he was beginning to find disagreeable.

Running his hands through filthy crimson hair as he moved to stand under the showerhead, Gojyo tried to remember which of the women he'd enjoyed the night before had wanted oral sex from him and found he couldn't bring a face to mind at all because he'd been so inebriated. For reasons that not even he could explain, this triggered a sudden unrelated flash of memory that made him loose his exuberance completely.

An image of Tonpu came to mind and the redhead seemed to sober further as he realized that his blue-haired friend had more than once tried to get him to go home to his roommate before he was too drunk and too lost in sexual pursuits. At the time, Gojyo gestured at him pointedly with his middle finger and told him to "fuck off" since he assumed Tonpu wanted the ladies all to himself, but in retrospect, he realized the dark-eyed man truly had Gonou's as well as his own best interests in mind.

"Aw, damn," Gojyo growled at himself and started lathering his hair with rough strokes due to not particularly liking himself at that point. Even as a little of the musk-scented shampoo was transferred to short red curls that needed it even worse, he sighed and admitted, "I owe Tonpu a major apology! He was right, I shouldn't have gotten shit-faced drunk last night *or* spent so much time with the ladies! That was damned stupid of me, but at the time it felt so fucking *good* to just be myself again!"

With a sigh, the almost clear-headed teen added, "Well, at least it felt damned good until I woke up next to Nanashi and freaked myself out since I don't remember even leaving the bar." Recollections of past periods of excessive drinking brought to mind how he often found himself in odd places when he awoke, such as in Zan's hallway a few weeks prior, and he added worriedly, "Fuck, I hope I didn't just black out on top of him when I got home."

As he moved to rinse the suds from his hair, though, Gojyo suddenly froze in place and an expression of utter fury washed over him as what he'd just said sank in. Bringing his lather-coated hands up in front of his eyes, he stared at them as water from the shower rinsed them clean and then he asked incredulously, "Is that *really* all that I am? Some drunken animal who has sex with as many women as he wants to and doesn't give a *shit* about who he might've hurt in the course of it?!"

Now truly furious with himself, Gojyo barely resisted the urge to slam a fist into the wall knowing the pain might help him clear his foggy mind but would most likely cause his roommate undue distress, something he feared he might've done the night before, too. That thought led to another and as he groaned miserably, the gambler finally admitted to himself that there was no way the man whose bed he'd shared could be unaware of some of the types of sins he had committed the night before.

Gojyo knew that his quiet, mysterious friend wasn't a virgin by his own admission, but even if Gonou had been sexually naïve, the reek of carnality had permeated his clothes and had undoubtedly announced that aspect of his evening all too well. The alcoholic beverages he'd consumed had been many and varied since other people bought most of them for him, yet there were more than enough that left a scent on his breath that it had to have been obvious he'd been imbibing heavily. The excessive quantity of tobacco smoke that had clung to him spoke of the degree to which he'd indulged that particular vice and even though the brunette never once told him not to smoke he still felt somewhat guilty about getting carried away.

Realizing he needed to try to make up for his mistakes, Gojyo decided to hurry up and finish eliminating most of the physical traces of his wild night so he could return to the side of someone who depended on him for his very existence at the moment. Someone, his guilt-ridden mind informed him, that had had neither food nor drink since the night before and who was most likely famished by now.

After very rapidly soaping away the lipstick traces and worse, Gojyo shut off the water and quickly dried himself off as much as he had the patience for then twisted a towel around long, dripping wet hair he didn't want to deal with just then. Snarling epithets against himself, the finally sober half-breed grabbed his robe from its hook on the wall and tied it quickly around himself then pulled open the curtain that separated the bathroom from the main room and, apologetic smile firmly in place, he went to check on Gonou.

Not having heard any of Gojyo's wide-ranging comments to himself over the running water and therefore being unaware of the veritable roller coaster ride of emotions the crimson-haired man had just endured, the bedridden one merely peered at the approaching figure and asked, "Do you feel better now, Gojyo?"

Nodding slowly, careful not to let any of the anger he felt towards himself leak out and possibly imply dissatisfaction with his roommate, the robe-clad man answered, "Yeah, Nanashi, I'm feeling almost human again." Moving to sit on the bed at a greater distance than usual from the recumbent man since he felt terribly unworthy at the moment, he asked, "But how are *you* doing?"

Offering a tentative and less open smile than he might have under other circumstances, Gonou replied, "I am as well as can be expected, Gojyo."

Hearing the same troubling, evasive answer that Tonpu had gotten and wincing because he knew this time that there was indeed something amiss and that it was his own damned fault, Gojyo asked worriedly, "Is there anything I can do, baby? You know, to make things right again?"

"'Make things right again'?" The brunette echoed in confusion, uncertain what his friend was thinking and doubting that it had anything to do with the incredible dryness in his throat or the hunger he felt. Shaking his head slightly and easing himself into an upright position so he faced his roommate more fully as well as simply being a little closer to the obviously disturbed teen, Gonou countered with, "What are you talking about, Gojyo?"

Unable to hold eye-contact, the half-breed turned away and belatedly noticed he'd carelessly left his boots in the middle of the room whenever he had gotten home. Shaking his head in annoyance, he replied, "I'm talking about how I stayed out way too late last night and then got so fucking drunk I don't even remember making it home, Nanashi!"

Snorting angrily as the flames of self-hatred rekindled within him, Gojyo intended to add something about returning to his friend's side covered in the stench of overindulgence of another form entirely, but found his words stopped by two gentle fingertips placed lightly against his lips.

"Please stop, Gojyo," Gonou urged softly. When scarlet eyes finally turned towards him, he explained in a voice that was filled with compassion and a strange hint of sadness, "There is no reason to apologize for simply living your life as you always had before I entered it. My presence here has caused you to miss so much of what you enjoy and I regret that. Besides, I meant what I said about hoping you might go out and have a good time last night."

"But--" Gojyo attempted to interject yet found that the fingertips refused to leave his mouth so he stopped trying to speak and merely gazed at the other man, his heart in his ruby-colored eyes and wishing he hadn't made such a mess of things.

Intending on making his point, Gonou allowed his gaze to pointedly drop down to where the edges of the bathrobe failed to hide the vivid love-bite on Gojyo's chest and he added simply, "I can see that you did indeed have at least some measure of fun last night. If you feel more relaxed after an evening out with friends, then I am happy for you and hope that you will enjoy more such evenings soon."

Becoming more uncomfortable and guilt-stricken by the moment, Gojyo tried yet again to have his say and he reached to pull Gonou's hand away but before he could, his friend added one last comment that cut him to the core.

With a sad, enigmatic smile since he himself was so utterly dishonest about what he erroneously believed to be his true nature, the brunette returned his gaze to Gojyo's eyes and stated firmly, "Never apologize for being yourself." When the human who became a youkai through senseless acts of bloodlust felt the light pressure of his friend's fingers increase around his wrist, he finally let his hand slip away.

Gojyo opened his mouth now that he was free to do so, yet no words came out of it immediately.

The half-breed desperately wanted to deny that the person Gonou now perceived him to be wasn't who he truly was, yet his own thoughts a few minutes earlier discounted that entirely. The gambler did indeed see himself as a man who enjoyed alcoholic beverages more than a little and had a higher than average sex drive, so it would be a lie to pretend that the image of a drunken sex-fiend that he had been projecting wasn't entirely inaccurate. In actuality, Gojyo was totally forgetting that he was also a dedicated friend as well as a fundamentally decent individual as Zan had once pointed out to him, but at that moment he was lost in the dark morass of his own feelings.

With a heavy sigh, Gojyo forced some of his self-loathing aside and decided it was past time for them to begin to come to terms with the aftermath of his night of carousing. He stroked the pad of his thumb over the smooth skin of Gonou's inner wrist tenderly as he said, "Either way, I need to know what I can do to help you feel better than 'as well as can be expected', Nanashi."

Knowing the answer would most likely cause his companion another wave of self-blame yet not being willing to avoid an issue that had grown almost unbearable, Gonou tilted his head towards the kitchen as he admitted, "I would be terribly grateful for something to drink, Gojyo."

Scarlet eyes blinked rapidly as Gojyo reminded himself that he'd come to the same conclusion earlier and berated himself for neglecting this even as he gave his friend's wrist a final gentle squeeze while saying apologetically, "Damn, I'm sorry! You haven't had anything to eat or drink since last night, have you, baby?" Rising quickly and making his way to the kitchen, he called back over his shoulder, "Does coffee sound good or would you rather have tea?"

"Coffee would be marvelous, Gojyo, thank you," Gonou replied and then bit back the automatic addition of an admonishment that he needn't apologize since the water was already flowing into the coffeemaker and would've drown out the words anyway. Ignoring the ache in his stomach that indicated something to eat would be good, too, he waited for his companion to return, glad that they'd gotten past a difficult discussion with less sorrow than they might have otherwise.

As soon as the coffee began to brew, Gojyo took a moment to yank the towel out of his hair, fluffing the damp strands with his hands and hoping it wouldn't be impossibly knotted later. Then he self-consciously tucked the damp terrycloth into the top of his bathrobe hoping to cover the blatant mark some unknown woman had given him which now annoyed him instead of making him feel proud of his prowess.

Once he felt as if he could sit and talk to his friend again with somewhat less embarrassment than before, Gojyo grabbed a pair of glasses from the cupboard and filled them with fruit juice before setting them on a tray. He rightly assumed the coffee would be too hot to drink quickly and he knew his roommate needed fluids too badly to be patient. After adding a plate of snacks that would have to be enough until he could make a proper breakfast later, the nineteen year old poured the coffee and added that to the tray before carrying his peace offering to the table near the bed.

Handing his friend some juice without asking if that was what he wanted or not, Gojyo decided to cope with another lingering concern and as he sat down on the bed facing his friend, he asked worriedly, "Did I hurt you last night, baby?"

An expression of relief painted itself onto Gonou's face as he gratefully accepted the glass and drank some quickly before he assured, "Not in the least, Gojyo. You were quite, um, tired, when you returned home and merely spent the night where it was most comfortable."

Frowning since this didn't sound realistic, Gojyo asked doubtfully, "You mean I didn't just come in and pass out on the bed?" He picked up his own glass of juice and swallowed some hoping the sugary fluid might ease some of the kinks in his stomach left behind by his earlier misery. Instead it only made the discomfort worse so he exchanged it for the coffee mug which he sipped at and found relief there.

Not certain he wanted to answer that question with complete honesty, the emerald-eyed man hesitated then replied, "Not exactly, but it was perfectly all right." Hoping to prevent further uncomfortable conversation, he entreated, "Please don't be so concerned about what happened last night, Gojyo. As I said before, everything seems to have turned out fine."

Even though he didn't want to leave things unresolved, the crimson-haired man also didn't want to go against his companion's wishes and accepted this, saying, "Well, I'm not so sure I agree with you, but I will say one thing." He reached up and shoved a hand through his damp hair, mussing it roughly while hoping to make it dry faster as he stated with a sour expression on his face, "I am *not* drinking that much in one evening again any time soon! Blech! My mouth still tastes gross!" He smirked at his roommate hoping to get a more open smile from him the way that he had in the past and almost failed.

Chuckling softly with faux humor as he set aside the empty juice glass and reached for his coffee mug instead, Gonou kept his opinions to himself until a long lock of hair fell from where it was being fluffed and landed squarely between the half-breed's startled eyes.

"Oi! My hair hates me, too!" Gojyo exclaimed but before he could reach up and remove the offending tress, his roommate did it for him.

With the same gentle smile the nineteen year old had come to treasure, the brunette leaned forward and gently lifted the strand of vibrantly colored hair and brushed it back as he commented, "It doesn't hate you, Gojyo, it just doesn't seem to appreciate being left loose this way." Seeing a small opportunity to repay his friend for all that he'd done for him, he added, "If you'd like, perhaps I can brush it out for you later?"

Eyes that sparkled like rubies blinked slightly at the sole emerald orb that peered at them over the rim of a coffee mug and then a huge grin broke out on Gojyo's face as he accepted the offer, asking, "You wouldn't mind doing that for me, Nanashi? Really?" He scowled up at the twin locks of his bangs that defied control and would one day be rightly referred to as looking like an insect's antennae by an angry boy even as he complained, "It's always such a pain in the ass after it air-dries like this." [2]

"Of course I wouldn't mind," Gonou answered with a tiny shrug since it would so much easier to do that for this person than it had been for the girl who liked to wear hers in a long braid that he seemed better at plaiting than she was. While reaching for a rice ball from the plate of miscellaneous food Gojyo had collected in a rush, he asked innocently, "By the way, what happened to the strip of black velvet you wore in it last night? I didn't see it or the gold chain you'd left the apartment with and while it may not be my place to ask, I wondered what happened to them. They added such flair to your outfit, it's a shame they're gone."

Snickering as it became his turn to shrug, Gojyo replied hesitantly, "Well, um, I'm afraid the chain was a victim of some chick's over-enthusiasm and it kinda got busted in a couple of places." He noticed the attractive flush on his roommate's cheeks as Gonou suddenly regretted asking, and then the gambler recalled the blond girl with the amazing tongue and smiled brightly as he admitted, "As for my velvet ribbon, I gave that to this cute little doll who said she wanted it. Hell, I just can't refuse the ladies much of anything, ya know?"

Nodding and trying to hide his slight blush behind his mug as he quickly swallowed the bit of rice ball in his mouth, Gonou took a sip of coffee to wash it down and then agreed with a slight sigh, "It would appear to be that way, yes, Gojyo." Another smile which seemed to fall in between the emotionless one and the honest one touched his lips as their conversation drifted off into less potentially embarrassing areas.

*****

Soon the snacks were gone and they were replaced with a wonderful breakfast shortly thereafter as Gojyo convinced himself that Gonou had been telling the complete truth and that all was right with their small, virtually self-contained world once more.

The excessive sexual escapades the suave lady's man had enjoyed the night before had left him feeling relaxed and free of the constant fear of experiencing an unwanted erection in response to being near his roommate, a man he still found quite attractive but felt was off-limits. As long as he thought that the brunette continued to love someone else, Gojyo wouldn't make any romantic overtures whatsoever.

Of course, the fact that Gonou was a man and not a woman remained an obvious issue especially after the well-endowed gambler had enjoyed so much feminine companionship the night before. However, as always, this seemed unimportant since he had thought in terms of romance as opposed to sex when it came to his cherished companion.

What Gojyo didn't know was that a visit from a concerned friend was soon going to force him to reconsider a certain opinion he had held about himself for too long without giving it proper consideration. Not that it would translate into an immediate shift in his way of life but if the current incarnations of two souls that had been bound together for over five centuries were ever to find happiness together changes were needed that would take time.

As far as Gonou was concerned, he was experiencing less of a sense of uselessness in the presence of his able-bodied roommate now that he had reminded himself he could lighten the other man's heart with his words, smiles, and something as seemingly insignificant as plans to brush his hair. While it was true the incapacitated man had yet to recover sufficiently to be up and around at this point, his wounds were healing albeit slowly and another visitor a few days later would bring not one but two major improvements to his condition and attitude alike.

*****

To be continued.

Author's Notes:

[1] Considering how thorough I tend to be, there's been a key issue pertaining to realism that I have deliberately refused to address in this fic that people might have noticed which is, of course, how Gonou's bodily functions have been attended to. Since my brother asked about this in a recent phone conversation, I thought I'd mention this here on the off-chance someone else was wondering, too. The answer is simply that Gojyo has been carrying him to and from the bathroom as needed, without complaint and without either one being self-conscious about it since they've already been through so much together. As to why I've deliberately not dealt with this, well, I feel that there are certain things a story doesn't have to include even though they are obviously taking place. Happily, many other creators agree with this approach and this is as good a reason as any regarding why you never see a restroom door on the original Enterprise's bridge. After all, we didn't need to *see* Jim Kirk use a toilet to assume his bowels worked just fine, now did we?

[2] The two pieces of Gojyo's hair that stick up ala' most of the "Love Hina" characters are incredibly difficult to describe, but I've got to agree with Goku, they do indeed make the half-breed look somewhat like a cockroach at times. Hmm, I wonder if this is some deep, veiled reference to a certain Franz Kafka masterpiece? I rather doubt it, but it amused me to think about it for a split second, so I thought I'd share it with you.