Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ First Kill ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

First Kill

Hakkai slammed on the brakes eliciting complaints from two of the four passengers. But, the other two had tensed up. “Demons are nearby,” Gojyo whispered.
“Most likely some bounty hunters,” Sanzo commented as he reached for his banishing gun.
Hakuryu transformed and took cover behind some large rocks.
Goku summoned his nyoi-bou while Gojyo summoned his shakujou. The boy turned to Tamamura. “Ready for your first fight against some demons?”
She huddled close to Hakkai. “Um…”
Hakkai smiled gently. “I’ll protect you. I promise no harm will befall you.”
“Okay.” She forced a smile.
Sanzo stood his ground. “SHOW YOURSELVES ALREADY!!!”
Twenty demons jumped out of the trees. “What a treat! The bounty will increase by one member!” one demon exclaimed.
“She looks to be easy pickings,” another commented.
“Enough talk, let’s fight!” Goku shouted as he charged forward.
Let the fight begin!

In a matter of minutes, eighteen demons were killed by the males in the Sanzo party. Tamamura wanted to throw up as she saw demons dying around her. One demon saw his chance and went for her. Her hand started to glow and a dagger appeared in it. She suddenly thrust her hand forward and back in a quick motion. The demon halted and had his hand on his stomach. She gasped as the demon fell forward and went still. She shook terribly and paled until she was as white as a sheet. “I…I…” Her eyes were wide.
Sanzo shot the final demon. “That’s all of them.”
Goku saw the demon at Tamamura’s feet. “Tamamura, you just…”
Hakkai put his hand on Goku’s shoulder. Once Goku was looking up at him, he shook his head to stop him from saying what he was about to. He looked at Tamamura.
“I…I…just killed someone…” She fell onto her knees and cried hysterically. “I JUST KILLED HIM!!!” She wailed aloud, so loud it could be heard for miles.
Sanzo put away his banishing gun, took out his cigarettes and a lighter, put a devil-stick between his lips, lit it and put away the items.
Hakkai stopped himself from stepping over to the woman. ‘She’s really distressed. The poor girl…this will greatly affect her for the rest of her life. I should’ve told her to hide with Hakuryu, then she wouldn’t have to fight.’
Before anyone could stop him, Sanzo walked over to Tamamura. The others could tell he was struggling not to slap her to her senses. But then Hakkai remembered something Sanzo had told him. Sanzo knelt in front of her and forced her to look at him. “Get over it. We have to kill them or they’ll kill us. It’s not like we enjoy killing them, fighting maybe but not killing. That demon would’ve killed you, are you aware of that?”
Tamamura kept crying. “I’d rather that to having to kill.”
“What a stupid response!” His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed. “I first killed others when I was only thirteen. Is that an appropriate age?! At least you’re an adult. Think about that.” He stood and walked over to the others.
‘Thirteen? Sanzo was just a child?! Oh my…’ She wordlessly got to her feet with blank eyes. She appeared zombie-like as she rejoined the others. She looked up at Hakkai and then fainted.
Hakkai caught her. “If only I’d told her to hide with Hakuryu, and not to fight. This is going to scar her for life. She becomes distressed too easily when it comes to a lot of different things which aren’t a big deal to us. She’s been this way since her mother fell ill. She told me she feels like a scared little girl in a woman’s body. Her mother’s passing and other events caused her to become the sad woman we know.” He sighed. “I promised no harm would befall her and I broke my promise. We’ll all have to keep an eye on her to make sure that in her present condition she doesn’t attempt…”
“She told me that she’d rather have been killed. She’d rather die than have to take someone else’s life,” Sanzo commented.
“Tamamura has a kind heart. She wasn’t aware she could summon a weapon. She thought she was just trying to keep her attacker away from her, not that she was killing it. It’s like the weapon had a mind of its own, it was bloodthirsty because she’d never summoned it before today,” Gojyo stated. It was mainly to reassure Hakkai that he wasn’t the one to blame.
Hakkai saw the weapon and drew in a sharp breath. ‘A dagger…the same weapon I used when I first killed others.’ He scooped Tamamura into his arms. “She’s so pale. This must’ve terrified her, it was the first time she’d seen others die.”
“So, she didn’t…she wasn’t there when her mom…” Goku started.
“No. She wasn’t at her mother’s side when she died, but she was there beforehand.”
Gojyo bit on the filter of his cigarette. “At least…she knows her mother loves her.”
Hakkai looked at Gojyo in concern. He then looked back down at Tamamura. “We should get her to town and to bed.” He called Hakuryu over and asked him to transform. Once Gojyo and Goku jumped in, he lay her down between them. He and Sanzo then climbed in and off they went.

Tamamura slowly opened her eyes. ‘I’m…inside? What happened?’
“About time you woke up.”
She looked to her side and saw Gojyo sitting by her bed with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. “Gojyo? Why are you…?”
“It’s my turn to keep an eye on you after your fainting spell. You alright now?”
“I fainted?”
“It’s probably best you don’t recall what happened before you fainted. It’s too much for you to handle.”
“Huh?” She thought hard. ‘Sanzo spoke to me before I passed out and…he told me he killed when he was a child…because I…’ She sat bolt upright. “I killed someone!”
Gojyo sighed and got to his feet. He looked out the window. “Listen, Tamamura, I know why death distresses you. It’s because of your mom, right?” He didn’t get an answer. “Let me tell you something. I lost my mom when I was really young, and I lost my father so I was raised by my stepmother. She despised me and would always cry because of me. When I was twelve, she tried to kill me and if it meant she’d be happy, I’d take it. My half-brother Jien killed her before she killed me. It was the only way to save her that Jien could think of. Even though your mom’s gone, you’re more fortunate than I am because you know she loved you. I was too young to really know if my mother loved me, and my stepmother hated me.”
“Gojyo…I…”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just telling it as it is.”
She wiped her eyes.
“Hakkai’s really worried about you, you know. He’s been worried since the battle ended. And what you told Sanzo didn’t help it any so we’ve all been taking turns to keep an eye on you. Tell me, what did you say to Sanzo? Do you remember?”
“No.”
“You told him that you’d rather be killed than have to kill someone.” He walked over to her, sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a protective embrace. “Knowing how distressed you were as well as that statement you made had frightened Hakkai. He doesn’t want to lose you, he loves you like a sister. We all feel that way, even though if you asked Sanzo he’d deny it instantly. He’s just anti-social and doesn’t want to care.”
“Can you…call the others in here? I want to apologise to everyone.”
“Sure, I can do that. But, if your apology involves hugs, it’s only fair to warn you that Sanzo doesn’t like being held by anyone.”
“Okay.” Tamamura felt Gojyo let go of her and watched as he left the room for a minute, then returned with the others. She didn’t fail to notice Hakkai was overwhelmed with relief. “Everyone, I would like to apologise for causing all of you to worry. When I’m in a distressed condition, I feel like I want to die. My mother was my main sense of security and when I feel upset, I want to join her so she can comfort me. When I’m distressed, I can’t think straight. It’s hard because only my mother can comfort me and now she’s gone. But, now I’m feeling worse because I’m hurting those who care about me. I care about all of you as well and I don’t want to hurt my loved ones. It’s not right. So, I do apologise for hurting you.”
Hakkai walked over to her, sat on the edge of the bed and held her tight. “And I apologise as well for having you go through that. I should’ve told you to take cover with Hakuryu. I promised no harm would befall you and now you’ve been scarred for life. I promised to protect you and I failed to do so.” He closed his eyes tight and trembled slightly. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“I accept your apology.”
Gojyo quickly ushered Sanzo and Goku out of the room and closed the door after himself. “Come on, let’s leave them alone.”
Hakkai tightened his hold and rested his cheek on her head. “You really frightened me. I was scared that I’d lose you.”
“You were?” She felt him nod. “May I ask why?”
“I love you. You’re like my younger sister. And…I failed to protect Kanan. In the end, she took her own life.” He took in a shaky breath. “That’s why. I don’t want it to happen again. I can’t…I won’t be able to take it well if another took their own life because I failed to protect them.”
“So that’s why. Hakkai, I’m so sorry I made you feel like that.” She hugged him. “I should really start thinking about what I say.”

Gojyo lit a cigarette and felt his antennae twitch. ‘Oh man…’
Tamamura knew Hakkai was crying. Who could blame him? Tears formed in her eyes as one thought came to mind. ‘It’s my fault he’s so upset.’ She buried her face into his chest and wept with him.
Gojyo felt his antennae twitch more times than usual when Hakkai was upset. He blew out some smoke and pondered on it. After a few minutes, the twitching stopped. ‘I hope you both feel better.’
Hakkai allowed Tamamura to pull back. “I’m sorry you saw me like that.” He suddenly gave her a kiss on the head. “I hope you’re feeling better.”
“Yeah. How are you doing?”
“I’m alright. Tamamura, the next time we have to fight demons, you can hide with Hakuryu, alright?”
“Okay.”
He gave her another kiss on the head. “That a girl.” He squeezed her affectionately before he let her go. “And remember, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you, as are Gojyo and Goku. With Sanzo, I can’t say for sure. He’s afraid to care and tries not to grow close to anybody. But, you’re not alone, alright?”
“Alright.”
He smiled gently. “I don’t know exactly why, but I really feel close to you like you’re my younger sister.”
“I know what you’re getting at, you’re like my older brother.”
“Come along, let’s join the others. Gojyo and I can teach you how to play poker.”
“Sounds like fun. I’m there.” She watched Hakkai get to his feet then she climbed out of bed. She held his hand and the two of them left the room.

Tamamura had fun playing card games with the others. She knew she really wasn’t alone anymore and was thankful that she had made the decision to stay with this group. There were times of tears, yes, and none could deny that, but there were also times of laughs. She didn’t know why but she felt like she was at home with the Sanzo party.

The End

The thought of taking someone’s life frightens me so of course Tamamura wouldn’t like it either. To be honest, she’s a pacifist, she prefers not to fight at all. From now on, she won’t be involved in any fights, like Hakkai said she’ll be hiding with Hakuryu, at least not until they‘re nearing India. Also, it will soon become clear to Hakkai and Tamamura why they have such a strong brother-sister bond. If you want to see why, read ‘The Story Of Tanpa’ which explains their relationship 500 years ago.
Thanks for reading this. Saiyuki and its original characters belong to Kazuya Minekura and last time I checked that’s not me. Please don’t sue me. Please leave a kind review, but please no flames. I dread the day I come across a flamer in my reviews.