Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Gentleman's Agreement ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I don't own squat, let alone Saiyuki. Didn't make a red cent...

Warning: Yaoi, if you don't like it, don't read it.

Notes: Hakkai's POV

 

 

 

Gentleman's Agreement

By guanyin-kun

 

 

For the last four years we have had a gentleman's agreement. We could share the bed as long as the hand rule was observed... that being, hands were kept to yourself.

 

This did not include waking in one another's arms. Being held was acceptable. No one liked being alone. No one.

 

When we stopped at inns, I tried to make sure I was with Gojyo. I liked this arrangement best of all the possible combinations. The only time he did not share the bed, was when we all slept in one room.

 

I am such a hypocrite.

 

I smile in the inky darkness. Gojyo was always so open about his body. He would walk about the house wearing nothing, while I hurried to cover myself as if it were a sin.

 

No matter the amount of de-programming I do, there are vestiges left from the contamination ingrained in me. Had I always been such a prude? It was getting harder to remember anymore.

 

In many ways, I am envious of the man I sleep next to. Unafraid to speak his mind, passionate in everything he did. How I yearn to be like that.

 

At first I had always avoided being near him when he would carelessly parade his nudity. Even in sleep, he preferred this freedom. I, of course, cover myself in as much as possible, weather permitting. The least is my tee-shirt and undershorts.

 

Sighing, I roll onto my side facing Gojyo, the best friend I could ask for. I concentrate on the night sounds to relax and sleep. Even that is denied me.

 

I toss and turn, my mind too full of images of Kanan. I always dream of her, or at least I try. My thoughts are rarely far from her, except that I can never keep the good times from fusing with that horrible night.

 

I groan softly. Another sleepless night, with more endless driving on the morrow. Even Hakuryuu mewls happily in his sleep. Sweet dreams, I hope.

 

Whisper soft, I become aware of another sound. A sound I have not heard in over four years. The ragged breathing of pleasure.

 

For once, I want to hide. Involuntarily, I look down, gasping in awe. I knew his size, but I have never seen it extended. I know he's asleep.

 

He is still asleep. Please, tell me he's still asleep. I can't face him if he's not.

 

I had felt his regular breathing rhythm earlier and now I was faced with waking him, or watching this fascinating sight. I fight to keep my own excitement from stirring my loins.

 

Over four years. I dream of her touch, her smell, every day. But confronted with the sounds and the muskiness of Gojyo's pheromones, I find they send signals to me I thought long dead.

 

My undershorts are tight as my arousal grows in size. My breathing too, starts coming in small gasps, faster and faster. A small moan escapes my throat.

 

I loose my fettered erection, shuddering as I do so. Oh, for a tender touch there. Licking my lips, I hesitatingly touch the tip, finding it already wet.

 

Electricity courses through me as Gojyo brushes against me. I want to be touched so badly. As Gojyo continues to caress himself, I want to see his extended member. Curiosity I suppose.

 

With a boldness I didn't feel, I draw the covers aside. There is just enough light to discern Gojyo's member laying thick and dark upon his stomach.

 

My cheeks are hot in the night air. I burn with a forbidden passion, while confusion colours my soul. Closing my eyes does nothing to remove the image from my mind.

 

"Hakkai..." I jump, startled at the whispered sound of my own name emerging from his generous lips. My throat goes dry. Has he awoken... no, he's dreaming... of me.

 

I lean close to his ear. "I'm here, Gojyo Do you want me to help?" My voice is barely audible. Why had I asked?

 

I didn't expect him to hear me, but he turned his head, closing the space between us, kissing me tenderly.

 

Shocked by the action, I feel like a rabbit looking for a warren to escape to. Finding no such exit, I return the kiss, slipping my tongue into his mouth.

 

I ache. Over four long years. So lonely. If I still had it within me, I would cry, but those tears are long since dead.

 

He tastes of cigarettes and stale beer , but I don't care. My chest heaves, as the pounding inside becomes like the beating of some primeval drum.

 

I'm not sure who broke the agreement first, him or me. All I am conscious of is the feel of hands on skin. Disappearing into the darkness on the floor, my clothes fly from my body until I too am naked.

 

I shouldn't be this interested in a man. Sex never ruled my life, why now? What is it about Gojyo that draws me to him?

 

Our bodies rub against one another, fitting perfectly. Almost as if of one mind, we grasp each other's need. I whimper, as Gojyo inhales sharply.

 

My hips buck with the rough hand upon my penis. "Please, don't stop."

 

"Only if you promise not to." He burrows into my neck licking up to my ear, adding tiny nibbles along the way. I want him in my mouth again.

 

I catch his soft lower lip in my teeth, pushing my tongue there into his warmness. Bringing myself to please him more, I arouse his nipple with my thumb.

 

Pulling away from the kiss, he withdraws slightly. "You want to do more than just touch? Get really satisfied, you know?"

 

I look at him in astonishment. Words fail me for one of the first times I can remember.

 

"Gojyo, I'm not that way." One of the evils they taught me that hasn't left yet. I don't care if others do it, I just don't want to be labeled as such.

 

I am a hypocrite.

 

"Who said anything about being one way or the other? I asked if you wanted to do something to make you feel a whole lot better. Changing sexual preferences isn't what I do. How long's it been? Three, four years? Damn, by this time I'd have a serious case of blue balls. I'm surprised you don't. But tell me you don't like this..."

 

Soaking his fingers in his mouth momentarily, he draws them down under my scrotum, rubbing it with his thumb as he enters a finger into my rectum.

 

I want to grab the intrusion, pull it out, but he begins to slowly remove it on his own accord. He repeats it several times. "Gojyo, nothing belongs up there."

 

"Hmm. We'll see. I don't want to hurt you." He still probes me with long even strokes.

 

"I haven't said 'yes' yet." What have I gotten myself into? Do I want it to stop? Now is the time to do it, before it gets out of hand. He's right, it does feel good. I sigh in ecstasy.

 

The pressure in my rear feels a marked increase. While I have been distracted thinking it over, he slipped a second finger in. Deeper too.

 

"You also haven't said 'no'. I can read your body, Hakkai. You want this so bad it hurts. You're just afraid you'll like it." His voice is teasing.

 

Kanan forgive me.

 

"Yes, I want it, Gojyo. Please. Help me with this pain."

 

I love you Kanan. I don't deserve this, but Gojyo knows, he understands. I'm sorry.

 

"Stay right there. I'll be right back. Something we need." As his warmth dissipates, I begin to miss it already. He smells, well, right somehow. It's not truly on a conscious level... just something I notice when I'm that close to his heat. Kanan had a similar odour about her. Is it due only to those genetic markers that I am drawn to him, or is it something else?

 

Returning with a jar, he has a broad smile on his face. I am afforded a better view of his phallus. I kiss the very tip. I've seen less predatory looks on wild animals than the one he gives me.

 

He lifts my face from his thickened arousal.

 

"You don't get to do that yet. It won't be long though." His fingers swirl through my hair, outlining the back of my ear.

 

"Hakkai, you trust me?" I interlace my hand with his.

 

"As much as I trust anyone, more than most." I bring his hand to my face, kissing it. "I still love her, Gojyo."

 

"I know. I'm not asking for love right now Hakkai. You have a serious hurt and I want to help. You also turn me on. Always have."

 

I'm dumbfounded. Love.... right now? Did he just say he wanted a relationship of a romantic nature with me? But, he's.... and I'm...

 

I love you Kanan.

 

"Alright, just relax and let me do the work." Gojyo's finger tips dipped into the tub, withdrawing a generous amount of grease.

 

I watched in anticipation as my hips gave a sharp jerk like a puppy jumping for a treat.

 

With an easy motion, he covers his entire length with the gel. Moving my legs apart he kneels between them, he teases my rim, then enters with a persistent force using three of his fingers. I bite back a cry of pain.

 

Satisfied with his ministrations, Gojyo positions himself above me. His thick heat thrusts in slowly letting me adjust to him. I writhe in pleasure.

 

"Gojyo..." He takes advantage of my mouth, ruling it as his own. I didn't know I had an erogenous zone in there. I want it all the more. "Harder."

 

I wrap my legs around his hips so that we are now inseparable.

 

"Hey, now. Didn't I say I was doing all the work? Let go. You're so goddamn tight. So sweet."

 

I want him in deeper. My hardness between us, being massaged through our movements, brings about a deep shuddering arch to my back.

 

From my raw, dry throat, I cry out in a long needed release. Hot viscus juices spurt between us.

 

From deep within, Gojyo throbs, deliciously against my prostrate, sending us both into paroxysms of delirium.

 

Withdrawing his now flaccid member, he begins licking my semen from my stomach. Repelled, but curious, I want a taste.

 

I run Gojyo's fingers through the remnants, placing them lovingly on my tongue. Sucking on them makes me excited again.

 

I twitch a bit at the slimy texture and salty taste. Gojyo is watching, a grin breaking out as he sees my reaction.

 

"First taste of man butter? Let me sweeten that for you." That long, pointed tongue sweeps broadly up my abdominals and chest diving into my mouth.

 

Delectable. When shared this way, it becomes like fine wine. My breath was shortening again. Gojyo looked down in appreciation.

 

"Shit, man, you're practically coming again." He too is stiffening up. "You wanna take me?"

 

My breath catches in my throat. "Yes."

 

I'm sorry Kanan, but I need this.

 

"Your first time anal?" My ears burn. "Don't worry, I'll walk you through it. Take the slick and do your dick, then slick your fingers up and ease 'em in my ass. Spread your fingers, after they're in as far as they'll go. Aim your prick, and shove it in, slow. I think you know the rest."

 

"Gojyo, that's disgusting." I want it, but I can't bring myself to overcome the brainwashing. "It's unsanitary."

 

"Fine, whatever. I'll do it myself, then your 'dirty cock' can go up my 'dirty ass.' Happy?

 

"N-No, please, let me do it. I think I need to do it. Just let me try." I've used lube before, but not having to insert it. I can do this.

 

Gojyo has his rear facing me, elevated. Lubing myself with the cool gel, I take the rest and cautiously enter his anus.

 

Please forgive me.

 

Three fingers, all the way in. His moan vibrates my fingers as I flex them. He takes my other hand, placing it on his penis.

 

His velvet soft exterior encourages me to do this. I want this. Closing my eyes, this time I see Gojyo instead of Kanan. Inhaling sharply, I shake my head in minor disbelief. When did he slip into my fantasies?

 

"You okay?" He's always concerned about me, which brings a tenderness to my heart. Someone cares, and I'm not alone.

 

"Yes, I'm fine..." I'm going to be better than great. I feel a true smile cross my lips. I grip tightly and start fondling his wonderful shaft.

 

"Ready any time you are." He hisses in pleasure at my touch.

 

Emboldened by his words, I slowly push past his rim, feeling only a slight discomfort as I venture deeper.

 

Tighter than Kanan ever was. I feel the flush of embarrassment and shame as I compare the two. It's not fair to either of them, but I want them both. Since she is denied me, I need turn to him. More quickly than I expect, I find my myself buried within. "I want you, Gojyo."

 

"Pound me into the goddamn bed." As if his permission spurred me on, my hips began thrusting deeply, slapping our flesh together. This sound has me rolling my head back in ecstasy.

 

Leaning over, I bite his shoulder, nearly drawing blood. I want him to know how much this means to me.

 

"Gods, Hakkai, I'm coming." My own testicles are close to me, hot, wet and quivering. He throbs repeatedly in my hand, the heat increasing as he came to his climax.

 

Whilst within, Gojyo's vocalizations of joy, wring from me my own completion, until I am totally empty.

 

I ease myself out, grabbing him around the waist. Pulling him close, I collapse on him.

 

"Mmm. That was fantastic. I didn't know you were such an accomplished lover, Hakkai." I want to curl into his warmth.

 

"Off the bed. There are two very important things we must do Gojyo."

 

With a lecherous grin, he moves toward me. "You sucking me off and me sucking you off? That's two things..." His laugh is deep in his throat. My chest is heaving again.

 

"Although fellatio sounds wonderful, we have to wash up and change the linen. I refuse to sleep in soiled bed-clothes." Standing with me, he leans into my neck, kissing it. I let him hold on to me as I try to get my orientation back.

 

"Easy there, stud. You're not used to all this." He hugs me gently to his bronzed body, stroking my sides. How long have I yearned for just such an embrace? Is that why, when I occasionally awake in his muscled arms I feel at peace? Simply because someone cares?

 

I twist in his grasp, holding him like a second skin to me. Raging passion overwhelms my senses, and I find it hard to breathe. I take his sensual mouth, desperate for that taste again.

 

Surprised, but not unhappily, Gojyo pulls me even deeper into him, almost as if he were trying to make our two bodies one. I claw into his athletically firm buttocks, leaving small trails of blood as my mark of passing.

 

"Now I know why you fight the way you do. You're just so freakin' repressed, you'll do anything to get rid of that anxiety. And I've just solved problem two." He grabs a blanket after ripping the bedclothes off. He pulls me with him as he crawls into the bed, covering us both.

 

"See, simple. As to washing up, I have a feeling we're going to get dirtier, so it would be a waste of time and energy. Energy better spent doing things like this... " He dips beneath the covers, kissing my body as he descends.

 

He grasps my sex and I feel his warm, tickling breath on my tip. My hands stray down to his silken locks, so like Kanan's. I try to pull him closer, but he has his own agenda in mind.

 

More delicate than the flickering of a snake tongue sensing its prey, Gojyo caressed my end, rubbing the gland exposed there. Breathlessly, I whisper his name.

 

What flood gates has he opened within me? Do I want something more from him, as he alluded to? Can I give that to him?

 

 

I am such a hypocrite.

 

 

Her long, brown hair.

His luscious, red locks.

Her full, sensual mouth.

His warm, soft tongue and throat.

Her tender skin.

His taut, strong muscles.

Her sweet sex.

His erotic forbiddeness.

Her absence.

His presence.

 

I want her.

 

I need him.

 

I am such a hypocrite.

 

His mouth gently sucks at me, taking me deep into his mouth, titillating me all the way.

 

All conscious thought stops as my body is wracked with spasms of pleasure. I throb helplessly in his encompassing, sheathing throat. He pulls back slightly as I fill his orifice with my seed so he can swallow effectively.

 

I can no longer hold back my thoughts. "Gojyo, I want...!"

 

Kanan, I'm sorry. I love you, but I am weak and can no longer go forward alone.

 

I pull him to me, finding droplets around his face from my expulsion. I lick them away as I kiss him deeply.

 

Holding him intimately, I whisper meaningless sounds to him. I want this to never end. I want to be with him. "I want..." I want... Words refuse my beck and call. My lexicon denies me access. What do I want? Gojyo...

 

He raises his head lazily. "Hmm?" Had I spoken aloud? Or is he truly attuned to me, hearing my very thoughts?

 

"Go down on me, Hakkai. Please." I feel like such an idiot. I don't know the first thing about fellatio. Kanan didn't believe in it and I never pressed the issue. I haven't even performed cunnilingus. Yet I have read extensively on most sexual acts...more for knowledge's sake than actual practice, although I did suggest and implement some a few times.

 

I am eager for the new experience. "Not until you wash first."

 

He sighs. "Damn mood spoiler, aren't you. Fine. Have it your way." He wiggles his way out from under the blanket, goes to where he left the last of his beer. "Was saving this for the morning...but, no.. Hakkai has to have everything sanitary..." He leans close nipping playfully at my ear.

 

Over the towel, he uses his shirt to wipe away the excess beer and soiling, as he pours the remnants over himself. "Damn that's cold!" I laugh. "You think that's so funny?" He rips away my protection, pouring the last of it on me.

 

"No, I swear I don't think it's funny!" I can't stop giggling. He pulls me off the bed, throwing a towel over me and scoops me up. I still can't stop. Hysteria? I don't know. I don't care at this point.

 

"So great sahib, where are you taking your prize?" He affectionately bites my side, tickling it. "No, please. You have to stop..." I can't breathe anymore. I can't stop laughing.

 

He slings me over his shoulder, while I kick feebly and ineffectually. I can hear him humming tunelessly. "We're gonna get all cleaned up. Just like you said."

 

"No, Gojyo...Someone might see." I cling to his neck. I can hear him chuckling in the back of his throat.

 

"Good for the goose...good for the gander." He exits the room and we make our way down the hall to the bath. Passing Sanzo and Goku's room, there is a sharp report..."Baka saru! They're fine. Now shut up and go to sleep!! And I definitely don't want to talk about it either!"

 

"Love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation." Gojyo is catching my case of giggles.

 

"Put me down, Gojyo." His grip is still firm. We're both laughing so hard, tears are raining upon each other with abandon.

 

We come in front of an open multi-shower. No privacy at all. Gojyo is undaunted. He turns on the cold spigot. "Gojyo, this isn't fair..."

 

"No, it's not. But it's funnier 'n hell" Whipping the towel from me, he holds me under the cold spray.

 

After he sets me on my feet, I pull him to me as cold water tries desperately to cool our ardour. Immediately we both shrivel, but our passion is only fueled by each other's nearness. Turning on the other spigot, he warms the water, standing with his back against the wall. Kissing, we are once again wrapped in one another's arms.

 

I want...

 

Gojyo. I want... him.

 

His member hardens between us. Love, lust, self-loathing, yearning, loss, they all swirl within me, making me giddy on their heady brew.

 

His strong, gentle fingers push softly on my shoulders. "Suck me, Hakkai. Take me now." He's gasping with desire.

 

"But what if someone comes in. This is a public bath."

 

"So, they'll see two really sexy guys having hot, horny sex. Who could resist that?"

 

I murmur in agreement as I lick the droplets of water from his chest and sculpted abs. Teasing his navel, I pet his sacs tenitively, eliciting a heavy groan from him.

 

I search frantically through my memory. Kama Sutra...sucking up the grapefruit... He would enjoy that. I play at his scrotum, finally taking it completely within my mouth. He twists his fingers in my hair.

 

"Do me now." He pulls me from my position, making his needs directly known. I expose his gland further, kissing the shiny, excited end.

 

Brooking no denial or delay, his hips buck, shoving him further into my mouth unexpectedly. I nearly choke on his length. Help from him is now an impossibility as he has relegated his thoughts to absolute carnal satisfaction.

 

Finally managing to work out the logistics, I take in his throbbing member. Amazingly, he speaks. "Hum."

 

It is a command. "Hmmmff?"

 

"Yeah, do it just like that." Shrugging slightly, I do as he asks. Feeling inept, I manage to feel Gojyo's ejaculation start. Unexpectedly, I get a small squirt of hot fluid down my throat, making me cough. Gojyo pulls out, continuing the job with his hand.

 

"Let me do it, please. I want to please you." He doesn't argue, he only wants it to happen.

 

I rebuild his heat, remembering that he pulled part-way out when I expended myself. With great surges of seed, he fills my mouth, but I can't swallow fast enough. It comes out, dribbling down my chin to my chest.

 

He pulls me to my feet, kissing me intensely with his semen upon my tongue. "You're wonderful." I meet those sensuous red eyes with my own green ones. There is no flinching, no turning away. I hold him to me as though a rare flower that would wilt in the light of dawn.

 

Is this man building more than a temporary shelter in my heart, a solid building of love?

 

Kanan, forgive me for moving forward. I need to go on.

 

"Gojyo." Can I choke these words from my lips that have been still for so long. "Gojyo, I... want your love, and what's more, I want to return it."

 

What if he says no. God, anything but that.

 

His words are almost too soft to hear, my heartbeat is so loud. "I was hoping you would say that."

 

My tears come unbidden. Whether from gain or loss I can't tell. He keeps me close, letting me loose the dam I had built for four years.

 

Kanan, you can move forward too. I love him now too.

 

 

~owari~