Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Halcyon/Hell ❯ Two Hands ( Chapter 5 )

Halcyon/Hell

By Eline (Kanz' on ff.net)

Warnings: AU fic--and yaoi. Non-yaoi version on ff.net. Both versions are at http://www.theparapet.net/max/shite/halcyon/

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Life just went on.

FYI, Shiro did not wake up. A fragment of his skull that they couldn't spot or take out in time did him in, according to the Warden's Office. And that did it for me in the end too. Officially screwed-up, paperwork filed.

It was . . . almost as boring as the East Tower after that. A slump period in which my luck sucked and I found myself drifting off more. Because it was the path of least resistance, as someone once said (forgot who said it).

It took a little more effort to face the cold facts of the past few months. To look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and ask if you really belonged where you were . . . Probably. All of us. All packed in here, rotting away.

It was still a form of change, as Sanzo once commented in the middle of one of the innumerable games of mahjong we played to while away the rainy afternoons. If it all stopped, then we would be well and truly *nothing*.

Back then, we had just looked at him in a funny way. Sanzo in a philosophical mood was as rare as good food around here. Later, I think I got a part of what he said.

Changes aside, there had to be other things. Other things of note here--if only I could remember all of them. Like significant events. Some kind of marker in the cycle of years, months and days. Otherwise, there was just the routine. A mind-numbingly predictable routine of grey days. It's like the automatic-pilot is on, and you're not at home. Right until even wanking off is a tired rehash consisting of the last pair of plastic tits you saw in a skin mag and your right hand working overtime.

It's been that long. I could hardly remember the last girl I was with and I was wanking off in the shower to memories that were fast slipping away.

Everyone wanks off here. At least 99%, I'm sure. It's a matter of finding someplace and time that was convenient and discreet. Ever since that incident with Hakkai getting knifed and that mess with Shiro, discretion was not a problem. We had the showers all to ourselves most of the time--and damned if I was going to let him get jumped again, or hog all the lukewarm water that ran out in approximately two minutes.

He volunteered to keep a lookout the first time he happened upon me and my private-time. Just like that. No blushing or anything. Just the usual Hakkai-smile and acceptance of What-Gojyo-Does-In-Private. Was masturbation a sin in his religion or something? Probably, but Hakkai never said a thing.

"Ano, Gojyo--I think the rest may be coming in quite soon."

Right, right, shower time is limited and it's only polite to spare everyone else the sight of your private-time when they do the same for you.

"Hang on a second . . . Um, this could take just a bit longer."

Unfortunately, all I had to go on was fake breasts in impossible sizes. I had only known one or two girls with implants and they didn't even go that far. It had come down to the point when the sight of a real woman would have done me a world of good.

Nothing in the murky of depths of my memory was particularly helpful at that point. Those girls that I could remember--or more accurately, the thought of what they could do and had done--could get me up, but not off fast enough.

Shit. I opened my eyes, ready to give it up. And that brought me an eyeful of Hakkai's pale back. He had fairly broad shoulders that tapered down to a lean torso. And his butt--or his lack of a butt actually--

I had to beat that thought right back to the limbo that spawned it. No looking at your friends like that, no matter how cute they happen to be or how nice their skin might seem. It's *definitely* been too long if I'm starting to consider that. Because it wasn't the first time I had caught myself looking at Hakkai with more than just a little friendly interest.

Idiot--you'll just embarrass him and make yourself look like a bigger asshole than you already are--

Talking to myself is usually not a good sign. It also causes a serious lapse in my ability to concentrate, which was why it took a second to register Hakkai standing right in front of me.

"Ano . . . Gojyo, I couldn't help but notice that you were watching me," he said in that polite, soft voice of his. I might have said something witty in response, but there was a hand on my dick that wasn't mine and I was having a mental blackout.

. . .

"You looked like you need some help."

Umm . . .

The usual response to this sort of thing would be:

a) Rip the other guy a new one.

b) Laugh it off if you are really, really confident.

c) At the very least . . . say *something*.

But Hakkai was not some other guy. It was Hakkai. Hakkai whom I had been ogling even though I should have known better. And I wasn't thinking at all because Hakkai was fisting my cock. Lean fingers wrapped around me. Hakkai's nice hands. *Hand*. Where was option d) Sink right through the floor when you needed it?

"Ha--Hakkai?" I managed to squeak.

He's smiling at me. The it's-no-trouble-smile. And I wouldn't have objected--not that I was doing anything to stop him at all--but I was suddenly struck by a sudden bout of indignation I didn't know I was capable of. Under the circumstances, I mean.

What's this? Do Gojyo A Favour Day? Let it never be said that Sha Gojyo was an ungenerous lover. Well, none of the girls ever complained . . .

And so I reached out for his dick without thinking. Without wondering if it was rude or if he was into such things. Because this was Hakkai.

Oh shit.

But my hand had already made contact. And I realised two things. One, he was hard. Two, his eyes were widening with surprise.

"Umm . . . you looked like you needed a hand yourself," I joked weakly.

"Aa. This is all right with me, Gojyo. Do you mind?"

Hell no. "Eh . . . um, I don't think so . . ."

And he promptly started a motion that made thinking very hard indeed. I tried to keep up with him, pumping him the way he was doing me. Then he started rubbing his thumb around the head of my--

I staggered back slightly, just a little shocked at how explosive that had been. It had been like that with some girls. Not when I was jacking off alone for all this time in NH. It's really been way too long . . .

I had to kick myself awake mentally. There was still something left to do . . . Hakkai was still there, more flushed than I had ever seen him so far. Not a dream then--because dreams generally don't go beyond a certain point.

I had Hakkai pegged as someone belonging to the 1% who apparently didn't wank off. But then we were talking about one healthy twenty-odd-year old male and he was not exactly a stranger to sex. Who was I trying to kid?

It was a little odd, working a cock that wasn't my own. When to go harder or faster? But I figured that he was a guy and I was a guy and there were only so many ways to jack off manually . . .

He had his eyes closed when he came. If I hadn't been watching at that time, I would never have seen his face contort. It was probably the least controlled expression that I had ever seen on him. Had ever evinced from him, rather.

It was gone pretty fast though. One moment he was here and the next, he's turning away to shower off the evidence that yes, Hakkai does get off.

Not a moment too soon, because Tonpuu and Jean popped in a moment later, signalling the next influx of inmates clamouring for the showers.

And life went on.

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It's kind of hard to believe . . . but life went on. I managed to convince myself that it was a very realistic daydream after a while.

So that was that. Only we did it again three days after that. And two days after that when we had the showers to ourselves.

The flesh is very, very weak. And yes, it was fun to do it together.

If he saw me having a bit of private time in the shower, he would join me. If he had a morning stiffy that needed taking care of, I was there. Reciprocal wanking.

Okay, so that wasn't all of it. The sight of him with a hard-on gave me a hard-on--I think certain parts of me were developing some kind of . . . what's that called? Some kind of Palovian response . . .

We started getting selective about shower times.

It was beginning to sound like some men-in-prison movie . . . And I was probably ears and eyebrows deep in denial. Fuck it . . .

I knew for a fact that some guys did each other just for the heck of screwing/getting screwed. I knew at least three guys from my poker games who were gay. And Len on level four charged two packets of Lucky Strikes per blowjob. Quite the businessman, our Len--he wasn't even remotely interested in the sex. And there were people like Sanzo, who might not act like it, but swung *that* way as a matter of choice, as we found out much later to our collective shock.

And there was Hakkai and me, two normal--scratch that--not really that normal guys.

I guess I was expecting something to change. But nothing did. It was like nothing out of the ordinary had happened and we were just going about our routine as usual. And that was why it was so damned surreal.

Hakkai's a guy. And my best bud in this hellhole. We play poker together. We live in a space so small that if you took three steps, you'd hit the other wall. We eat together whenever we can. We wank off in the shower together.

My head hurts.

We didn't talk about it. I don't know how we initiated *anything* at all. No "Hey, wanna mess around in the shower?" or "Morning wood? Need a hand?"

Maybe that was why not even Sanzo and Goku picked up on it.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Oi! That's the sixth time in a row! You've got to be cheating!" Goku said.

"Catch me at it if you can, dumbass," I replied.

"Cheating pervert!"

"Oh yeah? Why you runty--"

"Shut up--it's boring to listen to two idiots arguing over and over again." Sanzo was looking bored--as usual. His disdain for our company did not stop him from making use of my makeshift ashtray or propping his feet up on my bunk as he read the paper.

"Want to stake something? Makes things more interesting," I suggested as I shuffled the cards again.

"Not unless you've got any more cigarettes," Sanzo said, his scathing gaze settling on the scattered assortment of published pornography under my bunk. "Not those. Other idiots may be less picky about what they read and where it's been though, so you can go scam them instead."

Of course, he didn't know that those magazines had been seeing very little action of late.

"Now what could induce the great Sanzo-sama to play?" I wondered. "Hakkai?"

He had been quietly reading away the free time in one corner, but when he looked up I could tell that he had been paying attention to the last line of conversation.

"I don't know . . . Maybe not gambling for material stakes?"

"Immaterial stakes?"

"Ano . . . like a promise to do something? Or truth?"

"You mean like a game of Truth or Dare?"

"I think so. But I don't think dares are a good idea in here . . ."

"Well then, you're playing too. And to spice it up, all three losers have to answer."

"Hai."

Hakkai won almost immediately with a straight flush. But trust *him*, of all people, not to ask any prying questions.

"Um--since it's so boring here, where would you like to be?"

Goku's answer was predictable. "Somewhere where the food doesn't suck. And it's sunny outside more than once a week."

"On the beach, with a very large drink in one hand and a babe in the other." But that dream had been changing slightly of late. If anyone needed a trip to the beach and a large--preferably strongly alcoholic--drink, it was Hakkai. And he was cuter than a lot of girls I knew . . .

"Anywhere else but here," Sanzo flatly summed up all our thoughts in four words. "The next question had better be more interesting than *that*."

Well it *would* be, if I could win the next round and ask Blondie when was the last time he had been laid. It was also courting death, but *someone* had to do it . . .

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End Part 5.