Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Mirror ❯ Mirror ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I did this story before Disguises, which is posted on FFN so there are probably a lot of phrases that I reused. Opps! I just needed to get this out of my system so there it is.

 

Sitting here between these two men seemed to Goku the most surreal thing in his life. On his left was Homura, his black hair and mismatched eyes pulling the focus of everything on his side of the room toward him, and then on his right was Sanzo, blond hair and amethyst eyes set ablaze and pulling the focus of everything on his side of the room to him as well.

 

It was almost unbelievable that Goku could be sitting here between such extremes. Homura's face the epitome of calm, his lips set in a slight upturn of the mouth and Sanzo, the paramount of agitation. His hands braced against each other, his eyes narrowed and his mouth a tight line.

 

To say Goku was nervous would be a slight understatement, he knew Sanzo's patience was limited, that if the priest didn't feel comfortable or at ease he would lash out, try to clear a space between himself and obtrusion and that obtrusion right now had to be Homura. The God looked eons more placid, like a pond with no ripples or fish disturbing the surface.

 

Goku remembering that he had not come here of his own violation-it did not matter anymore, regardless he would take control of this situation, salvage some respite for all the trouble he had gone through. Homura was not merciful when he had that didactic tone of voice, he was unmoving ruthlessness and Goku had faced that beast in the dark chamber where the room split light, the place where the god had almost broken his arm, had tempted him and told him things that he did not want to hear.

 

No he didn't want to make Homura angry. Not after what happened. He wanted Homura to say whatever he had to say to Sanzo, to say whatever he had to say to him and then maybe leave. Goku could tell something was bothering the god, but through those still gazes that the god favored him with, Goku could tell something was amiss, Homura was frustrated with him. Frustrated at him for many things that he could not put his finger on, it was a strange emotion that Sanzo had given him a fair share of but Homura's frustration...it was different and desperate...a little more desperate than Sanzo's...Homura wanted him to do something, to know something, to remember something, to gain something back. It was strange giving this sensation a sentient face, especially a face that was never moved to anything but a taunting smile filled with reveries.

 

Goku had his own frustrations too, except his was divided between two people. Sanzo, his guardian, his constant, the one who was always there, telling him to shut up, whacking him with paper fan, talking to him, reaching out for him in his own small ways. It soothed him to know that he was needed by this strong presence known as Sanzo. That Sanzo depended on him. His other frustration was Homura, the enigmatic god that expected so much from him, who befriended him in a way that was completely uncommon between enemies. He had formed a bond between Homura and maybe that was what kept him awake at night, wondering how Sanzo would feel if he knew of that bond. How would the priest react?

 

He was frustrated with both of them but he was also frustrated with himself because throughout all of this he was seeking both of their acceptances. He wanted to be seen in Sanzo's eyes, to have the attentions he had sought after for so long. Beautiful and morbid in his own right, Sanzo was all he could ever wish for, and he had thought that selfish, childishly so, to crave his acceptance. Homura had made him see that, he had made him see that he was selfish with the monk but maybe it was a different type of appreciation that Homura didn't understand fully. He knew what Homura had been alluding to, that he was seeking validation from Sanzo because he was some form of beast, cast off even from his demon brothers. No one would accept him, and he knew deep down it stung but it never bothered him enough to the point where he would need Sanzo as some kind of crutch. Sanzo was different. So much more than any person, he was different from humans and demons because in Goku's eyes, in his subconscious, where he kept his memories and dreams, where he hid all his dark feelings away, he hated something in the creatures calling themselves humans and demons. They had both casts him off and that had shown him how alike they were even though they were constantly at war. Their natures were similar and yet they hated each other. He thought they were hypocrites in a way and that Sanzo had opened his eyes to that little truth.

 

Sanzo had been kind enough to take an exile in, that had made him different from the rest, when no one else wanted him, scorned him, called him monster, couldn't hear him as he called out on the mountainside, called him worthless, and Goku supposed that he had never really been angered by the name calling, the real reason he got angry was that they never got to know him, to ascertain their predisposed truths. They just assumed he was stupid and worthless and nothing but trouble. Sanzo was different because he had taken the time to talk to him. He had seen Sanzo on many occasions watch him out of the corner of one violet eye as he ate or played Mahjong. Sanzo was the only one allowed to pass judgment on him because he knew him better than anyone. He allowed Sanzo to hit him and call him names and that was his keeper's liberty. A liberty that he gave to the blond man selflessly because he believed Sanzo had given up so many things for his benefit.

 

Homura was smiling, a smile that reminded Goku of the Buddha statues at Chang'an Temple. Ever smiling, that far-off presence and eternal without the connotation of good will.

 

Sanzo had said once that to know Buddha was to know enlightenment and some thing in his explanation, the way Sanzo had spoken, it had made his eyes look like they were searching inward, like they were no where to be found, it had surely quieted Goku's questions.

 

He said wisdom was enlightenment. Buddha's smile, was that a form of enlightenment as well? He seemed so knowing, and sure and those qualities were so apparent in Homura.

 

Goku had wanted to ask where one could find wisdom, where one could find enlightenment. He never truly understood what it was, even when he sought Sanzo out that same night and asked him what it really meant. He remembers Sanzo's face went blank, clean of emotion and he knew that Sanzo was getting ready to answer his question seriously; with all the answers and clearance he could give him. Sanzo was turning it over in his mind; probably the hardest thing for the monk was explaining something in words so that he could understand it as well. He was never any good at philosophy.

 

Sanzo had said something about age, age brought wisdom but then he had said that there were always two roads to a path. It had seemed like he was going to go off on a highly unexpected tangent but he was gathering his thoughts and as he continued, he said these two roads were the only way of attaining wisdom. They were only two paths. First one was through diligence, study, the progression of time...then the second, the one less taken because men who walked this path never finished it and what little wisdom they salvage was delicate, fleeting like sand in the palm of your hand, as flimsy as the support which holds it up. Quick and painful like a gunshot, bone-shattering, mind-numbing. It was the wisdom seen through the muzzle of a gun. It is the only wisdom that he has ever known, and Sanzo's eyes, which are staring at the Buddha statue, move away so he can avert his gaze, an open stare, so rare coming from the white-robed monk, speaking of guilt. That aversion, turning away, away so that his back is Goku and his front is an open window.

 

He knew Sanzo could kill without remorse but that was in the moment. Sanzo didn't carry around baggage, he didn't want to luggage about people's heartaches and yet again they existed out of the moment as well. They weren't always fighting, and that false peace and quiet was cruel because it gave them time to think back on all the blood shed that day. Sanzo would close his eyes and smoke because to him it wasn't his problem.

He wasn't carrying any of it, whatever it was, not even ammo, he would rather empty it into his problem. Demons were his current problem so BANG! Problem solved.

 

Goku saw his wounds, tried to tend to it but Sanzo was a distant person, he didn't need time because time never seemed to heal his wounds that he carried with him. He needed space, a lot of it.

 

Was that wisdom to? Avoiding people so you wouldn't have to deal with pain and hurt. Goku thought it was cowardice. Maybe because he was a bit older he understood some of it now, or had formed opinions on it that maybe weren't in Sanzo's meaning. Maybe he had made up a new concept of wisdom. He understood the first point but the second one had eluded him until he had seen Sanzo take a blow for him. Rikudo had been an opening into Sanzo's past, that was so very rare to come across, so rare that Goku had wondered after he and Hakkai had that talk by Sanzo's bedside, that maybe, if they could defeat Rikudo and bring him on their side, then maybe, maybe he would ask him what Sanzo was like as a child. That obviously didn't work out too well because before Sanzo had even healed, he had blown away that ghost of his past and it seemed Goku was doomed to never know anything about his keeper's past. It was daunting.

 

It was useless.

 

Goku watching Homura's mouth twitch up wondered what the god knew that made him so smug. Sanzo could get that look on his face too whenever he had one up on his enemy, that's how he knew that expression. It was funny how alike the two of them were.

 

One thing that had always struck Goku was how both men looked alike. The way they carried themselves were of an obviously different nature but physically, it was a whole other story. Although to Goku, it would eternally be that the war god looked like Sanzo, it could never be the other way around. He could admit to himself, that he had kept his eyes a bit more than necessary on Homura when they met up here and there, he could also admit that he found Homura quite handsome, but that was because he found Sanzo quite handsome.

 

Goku casting his eyes down and feeling the blush warm his cheeks tried to keep his eyes hidden as he realized that both men were staring at him, out of the corner of his eye he could make out Sanzo's twitch, it was small but just as noticeable as his blond hair. Agitated, angry, Goku knew either way, it would be his head to pay.

 

“Well, Konzen, I imagine this must be very uncomfortable for you,” Homura took a pause, and stared at Goku for a moment, “...having your enemy so close.”

 

“Hmph, I could always just change that,” Sanzo pulling out his banishing gun, aimed it at Homura's forehead. This made the war god smile, that same haughty upturn of the lips. Sanzo held himself back from squeezing the trigger. His left eye twitched. Goku held back the instinct to run for cover.

 

“Put your gun away, that really isn't necessary.” Sanzo could not tuck his gun away and it really didn't help the situation when Homura began to stand. This triggered Sanzo to get up as well, as he instinctively went toward Goku, but unfortunately for him so was Homura.

 

The two men stood on either sides of the Goku, Sanzo aimed a nasty glare at the War God and Homura only flashed one of his many easy-going smiles.

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Homura's smirk grew wider.

 

“We can share him you kno-“

 

Sanzo realizing where this conversation was going stopped Homura before he could finish.

 

“I'm not sharing him with anybody.” His gun taking it's usual position was pointed at the god in rage. He wanted to shoot him so badly, wanted to peel that stupid smile off of his face or preferably blow it away with his gun. It was embarrassment, he had blurted out something he couldn't even admit to himself, to his most hated, most annoying enemy. He wanted to shoot himself in the foot.

 

Goku's face had gone a shade brighter and turning his gaze from Sanzo, he kept his focus on the carpet below his feet. Homura taking advantage of the confusion between the two smoothly sat himself beside Goku. This startled the young man and alerted Sanzo. Homura was now pressing slightly against Goku, their shoulders touching lightly and Sanzo's gun even flinched from the image. For some reason, which was unknown to the gun-toting monk, the boy had not moved, had not even resisted, but just sat there, still as a rock and a little too calm.

 

Sanzo froze.

 

“What did you to do to him? There was definitely something wrong, in all the years that Sanzo had known Goku, he had never known his charge to sit still, especially when an enemy was this close. Goku slumped over even further, he didn't appear conscious enough to sit straight, his eyes were half closed, glazed over and from what Sanzo could see his charge was already gone. Homura put his arm around Goku's lower back as he supported him and smirked up at Sanzo.

 

“The sedatives seem to be working, I had to give him twice as much.”

 

Sanzo didn't want to know.

 

“What?”

 

He just wanted to grab Goku and get out of here. Away from the exasperating God and away from this castle and away from the rest of the world right now.

 

“...And the truly funny thing is, I think the effects are slightly aphrodisiacal.”

 

Sanzo stared, “You sick son of a bitch.”

 

Homura was not fazed and as always just smirked back.

 

“Konzen it seems that you misunderstand my intentions yet again. I did not do this for myself.”

 

Homura paused and looking over at Goku swept some hair out of his face, then with an easing hand, he brought Goku's mouth to his and kissed him, and it didn't help that Goku's mouth had been slightly open from breathing. Sanzo's hand had tightened so violently on his gun handle that the blood ceased to circulate in his fingers. His knuckles turned white.

 

`SHOOT HIM!!'

 

Sanzo aimed his Weston and Smith. Goku was in the way.

 

`Shit.'

 

Goku who minutes ago could not even sit up had reacted almost immediately to the kiss. It roused him awake and as if in a trance-which Sanzo guessed he was- he had crawled into Homura's lap, wrapping his arms around the shoulders of the god and sucking soothingly on his tongue. Sanzo was furious, his eyes bleary, he was so angry he couldn't see straight.

 

Homura snaked a hand under Goku's shirt, his hand resting on his lower back. He pushed Goku further forward; Goku emitted a low moan through his mouth as it opened to take Homura's tongue for a second time.

 

“Sanzooo...mmmhh.”

 

Easing away from the boy, Homura set Goku's head against his shoulder, his hand now moving up and down his back and then with a satisfied looked he turned to Sanzo, who was rigid and eyes all daggers. He smirked pulling Goku even closer.

 

“It's quite a wonder; a sedative should put one to sleep…yet Goku is so eager. It might have something to do with his other half waking in his place.”

 

Goku still situated on Homura's lap, rocked back and forth. His head was buried between Homura's shoulder and neck, his thighs tightened around his stomach. It was a lazy motion, not picking up pace or slowing down. Sanzo listened carefully to the boy's breathing. It was heavy and sighing. The whole scene lacked shame, like Goku could think of only one thing.

 

“Sanzooo...” Goku moaned for a second time and Sanzo began to feel the effects of watching such a display from the young man. It had hit him that Goku was calling for him, his voice needy and domestic.

 

Homura whose head had been resting on the shoulder of the young man, the height that Goku had by sitting on his lap making it possible for the god to make himself very comfortable within their embrace. Raising his head and steadying the boy who moved lazily in his lap, Homura turned his attention back to Sanzo.

 

“Excited yet?” Homura smirked up at Sanzo, it was obvious what the answer was to that question. Under his robes, Sanzo could feel himself harden. He glared down on the War God; Goku had begun to pick up the pace. Placing a hand on the boy's shoulder and waist, Homura was able to slow the boy back down. Goku whimpered.

 

Homura upon the little noises Goku was making, grabbed a fist full of hair, and dragged the boy's face down till his ear was pressed against his mouth. He began to whisper something; it was inaudible to Sanzo even from where he stood.

 

The younger man unwrapped his arms from around Homura, slipping his body from the shelter of his arms. Sanzo could not understand why he froze up the way he did, he should have acted, acted as soon as Homura had placed his arms around Goku but instead he froze. And now Goku was walking toward him, shirt slipping off a shoulder and cape discarded on the bed. He moved languidly towards him and reaching for the sleeve that Sanzo's gun protruded from, Goku placed his fingers on the priest's hand. He lowered it and then slipping his arm around Sanzo's waist, he buried his face in his chest.

 

Goku's fingers, which had worked their way into Sanzo's grip, had loosened his hold on the pistol. Sanzo released the gun and it fell to the ground, the sound muted by the carpet.

 

Goku placing his hand over Sanzo's shoulders ran it down to his arm, and as he was about to link their fingers together, Sanzo however roughly grabbed on his forearm. Then without warning to the boy, had pulled him the couple of inches required to meet his mouth. His other hand, which had latched on to the small of Goku's back, pushed him further into his mouth. Sanzo had finally given in. He wanted nothing more than to have his way with Goku. He didn't care anymore, to hell with his conscious, which knew that this was wrong. He was taking advantage of a boy whose kindness held no bounds. A child, because when he really thought about it Goku was the embodiment of immaturity, immaturity made innocence. It was wrong. He knew it was wrong and yet he could not pull himself away from the only person that had ever given him reason not to blow his brains out on a wall. The revenge of his Master had taken up most if not all of his teenage youth. Before he had taken Goku in, he was consumed with his master's lost scripture, had hunted for it, had bled for it, and then when he had found something, not his scriptures, had found Goku on Mount Gogyo, stared into the eyes of a child, he had forgot for one moment that life was a complete waste. If someone with eyes so peaceful, so truthful and open could survive and not have their original self washed away.

 

Sanzo had seen so many souls destroyed by a single event, Kouryu, the river rat, his childhood had witnessed that and yet...

 

He pushed into Goku more forcefully, thrusting his tongue into the mouth of the boy in his arms. With the wrist still clenched in his grip, Sanzo placed Goku's hand behind his head, linking it with the other hand that rested on Sanzo's shoulder.

 

Goku's breath was erratic as Sanzo feverishly sucked on the tongue in his mouth wringing whimpers from Goku.

 

“Uhhh...San...uh..please...,” Most of what came out of Goku's mouth was incoherent, but Sanzo knew exactly what he meant. Sanzo's hand that pushed into Goku's lower back had strayed to his seat and grabbing him firmly had suddenly thrown the boy over his shoulder. Goku who was too lost and aroused, closed his eyes and rested as Sanzo made his way over to the bed.

 

Homura who was still on the bed, watched the white robed priest come closer, his expression and eyes a closet of rapture and annoyance. Upon reaching the bed, Sanzo deftly picked up the cape strewn next to Homura, he then turned to leave but was then stopped by Homura's voice.

 

“Gratitude, Konzen is something that does not come easy to the arrogant, don't you agree?”

 

Sanzo turned to glare at the god on the bed, “This isn't any of your business.”

 

Homura smiled, “Will you waste this opportunity because of pride. I believe you still owe me so if you plan to leave then put Goku down.”

 

Sanzo was furious; this bastard had the gall, the unbelievable audacity to tell him to put Goku down.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

 

Homura smirked at him and the boy over Sanoz's shoulder began to move, sliding down his chest and standing in front of the priest, his hands pressed flat against Sanzo's stomach. He pushed himself off, walking over to Homura and taking a seat next to him. Sanzo stared wide-eyed at Goku.

 

`Had he just taken Homura's side?'

 

“Goku is acting on instinct, you didn't think he would leave because you did. At this point, he can sense things on an emotional level. He senses everything around him, everything resonates and the strongest resonation is coming from you and I and it confuses him. He is torn. I think it would be in your best interest to stay. He wants you to stay. Of course if you want to go then by all means, I won't stop you.”

 

Goku tightly grasping the arm of Homura nuzzled against it, then with his other arm, he reached out for Sanzo.

 

“This is what Goku wants, rejecting him now would be to lose him forever, and it can be assured that I'll be here to pick up the pieces. I won't reject him.”

 

Goku nuzzled the offered arm a second time, his bruised lips mouthing words against the fabric of Homura's sleeve.

 

“Sanzooo...”

 

Homura turned to look down at the boy at his side, “I don't think he can tell the difference right now.”

 

Sanzo looked up from Goku, “Tell the difference?” His usual harsh tone replaced with curiosity.

 

“Weren't you watching? When he was...in my lap, he kept saying your name. He wasn't calling for you, he was calling me Sanzo.”

 

A cold sweat clung to the insides of Sanoz's robes; Homura continued on, “It must be that we look so much alike. Goku sees me as you, but strictly on the physical basis. That's why he's so...submissive.

 

Sanzo's expression changed because this meant that Goku thought of him as...He watched Goku as he continued to nuzzle Homura's arm.

 

“Why are you doing this?” He needed a straight answer, no more bullshit from the War God, especially not when Goku's feelings were on the line.

 

“I'm enamored, truly without a doubt Son Goku will throw this world into its well-deserved chaos. He will recreate everything around him with a simple touch, a whisper. He is the god of creation I've been searching all my life for and I wish nothing more than to possess him.”

 

“You don't love him?” Sanzo could feel true panic. He had never prayed harder for anything in his existence than he did at that moment. Even if it was a yearning that the God expressed for Goku, to love him meant he could not let him go and without reciprocation love easily turned into obsession. God, he'd kill him right here if Homura said he was in love, he'd find a way, he'd use his life force to smother him if he had to.

 

Homura smiled at him that same smug satisfaction making his mouth and eyes hint at his answer.

 

“I love him as much as it is possible for one heretic to love another of his kind. That love is something akin to devotion, but the love you speak of I have promised eternally to another. She is my heart. Goku however is my soul. He is in the form of my destiny that I have fled from, he is my bravery, to look on him is to look on my utopia. Son Goku is my paradise.”

 

Sanzo was speechless and relieved, and uncomfortable and paranoid all at the same time. The way Homura had spoken about his feelings for Goku, it was clear that he was not romantically in love with the boy, but still…it unnerved him because it seemed that this feeling could even rival love. Even though he had admitted to not loving Goku they were still rivals. Even more so than before because now Sanzo knew the depth of Homura's feelings for Goku and they seemed limitless, as relentless as the War God's soul.

 

Goku who was cuddled up to Homura's side kissed the War God on the side of his bicep. It was movingly tender and Sanzo had to wonder if Goku was conscious of Homura's confession and as if he could read Sanzo's thought as they took shape in his head, Homura spoke with his envious accuracy.

 

“He's conscious on a level similar to that of Seiten Taisei. An animal's sensitivity, a child's innocence, he lacks the shame or a human's hesitancy in the face of change. He's in his sage form except not as violent although…,” grabbing Goku by the throat, Homura pulled him down over his lap, “I'm still not sure if that's a correct assessment given how unpredictable Seiten Taisei can be.”

 

Goku was now lying on his stomach over the War God's legs, his ass in the air, Homura's hand pushing down his rear.

 

Sanzo felt himself grow harder, “Dammit,” he closed the distance between him and the bed in two quick steps and snatched the appendage off of Goku. Sanzo tightened his grip around his wrist.

 

“Stop touching him like that, or you won't have the use of those hands anymore.” He squeezed down, feeling bone shift under his grip.

 

“Those are empty threats, Konzen. Give me some credit where it is due, you're in the same predicament that I am in. We're both raging hard.”

 

Sanzo angrily flung the hand in his grasp to the side.

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Homura laughed deep and taunting, “The only thing you want to fuck is this.” He pointed down to Goku, “I want him as well. Which leaves me to my conclusion, sharing is our only option but the biggest dilemma here is who gets to go first.”

 

Bastard just liked to here himself talk…but he did have a point, Sanzo could admit that much. He couldn't believe this was happening. The one thing he thought was his and he still had to share. Bullshit.

 

“Would you like to flip a coin, Konzen.”

 

Sanzo eyed Homura with a look of a thousand deaths. This is what he was reduced to, flipping a coin for Goku's virginity, because that's what both of them was thinking. Whoever was the first would have claim to some part of Goku's transition from adolescent to adult.

 

Homura reaching out into space pulled a coin from the air, like magic it appeared between his index and middle finger. He placed it in his palm. Sanzo was desperate to get his way.

 

“You said you didn't love him…you're not in love with him…I should have him because I'm-“ Sanzo couldn't finish his sentence.

 

“Well then put your trust in fate, if it was meant to happen it will happen.” Homura without warning tossed the coin, it landed smack in his palm and he closed it.

 

“How badly do you want him?” Homura's face took on the seriousness of a statue.

 

Sanzo couldn't stand it, “Heads.”

 

Homura opened his hand and staring Sanzo in the face was the reverse side. He'd started out with so little faith in Buddha and at the end of the toss had absolutely none left. He was in the hole now.

 

“Maybe this will teach you something.”

 

Of all the times to open his mouth, Sanzo wished a million atrocities on the War God. He wished every form of plague, every form of curse, right now he wished for his castration.

 

“Like what?”

 

Homura smiled, “Never go up against a God.”

 

With Goku still sprawled over his lap, he slipped a hand under the boy's belly, gently lifting him so he could slide his legs from under his body. He then pulled the young man to the middle of the bed, Goku settled back onto his stomach and crawling on all fours, Homura was over him.

 

Fuck, he should have been the one to be with Goku right now, not this bastard. He didn't want to watch his dream being taken from him. His right. But he couldn't look away; he could never look away from Goku. Homura slipped his hands under Goku's prone form, and Sanzo could hear the purr of a zipper, the shuffling of fabric and suddenly Goku was twisting and moaning on the bed. Homura grabbed onto the waist on Goku's pants, and the boy pushed back against him, the pants now slowly slipping down his hips, his skin dark against the white linen and Homura's skin. Goku's tucked shirt came loose as underwear included was slipped off of him by Homura; The tail of his shirt cut off at his upper thighs. Sanzo looked on in both wonder and awe at his charge, naked except for the shirt that rid dangerously up the curve of his seat and the one side that could not hide one peaking tan shoulder.

 

Sanzo had the damnable urge to jerk himself off, it didn't even matter if it was right before the eyes of a most hated enemy, Goku deserved the attention, he deserved the sick display of need and want. Masturbation wasn't something that Sanzo had really ever indulged in, never fully given himself too. He believed in the controlling of baser instincts, of the things he didn't need in his life because they made a relatively simple life-a monk's life- complicated. Sex, impure thoughts, urges Sanzo had never given a voice, an outlet until Goku had hit sixteen. It still amazed him and horrified him how easy it was to fall in love with him.

 

`To fall in love.' He never liked the phrase, it had the connotation of clumsiness, helplessness, as his “falling” was an accident, as if one day he just got up and decided to love and protect Goku. It was extremely insulting that he could be the kind of fickle person to up and tumble into love. That was bullshit, pure and unadulterated crap. After years of living with the saru, after hours of talking and bickering, and staring and studying, after very intentional touched, pats on the head, on his shoulder, a guiding hand on his back, how could he dismiss those as accidents?

 

How could he fall in love when he was in no way a klutz?

 

Homura intently focused on Goku slipped his hands under the hem of Goku's shirt, his other hand straying to the boy's hipbone as he pulled-not gently-Goku directly under him after he had moved to pull the boy's pants completely down. Goku's rear was directly under Homura's protruding erection. Sanzo could see the hand that had been busy with Goku's hip, come under the boy's hem to join the other kneading into his seat. Goku's fingers tightened into the sheets, bracing himself on both of his forearms while resting his head in his arms. He turned his head to the side and looking directly at Sanzo, the monk felt suddenly like he was the one with Goku, not Homura but him, and Goku's eyes had the kind of power to draw you in and keep you forever lost in them, lost and helpless and wanting. It was almost like they were the only two in the room.

 

Goku continued to gaze at him through his bangs and Sanzo moving toward the side of the bed, his legs moving him against his sense of self, that told him all of this was so, so wrong. He surprised himself with the amount of nerve he possessed as he sat himself right next to one of Goku's elbows. The boy extended out his arm for the monk and Sanzo more than happy to accept the gesture grabbed the hand in his, entwining their fingers together.

 

Sanzo could hear Homura as the god loosened his pants, he knew he should try and block out the sound, try to block Homura out of this picture entirely but he knew it would make things harder, if he chose to be ignorant to Goku's needs.

 

He still wouldn't watch. It was too disgusting. He could sit here and be Goku's support through this, like he would have done if he was the one of top of him and even though he wasn't, he believed he could still be there with Goku, try to help him and watch only him. Sanzo gazed at the hand in his possession as he heard what he supposed to be Homura preparing Goku. He watched Goku's face, watched his golden eyes widen marginally. He was biting into his lip and squeezing Sanzo's hand, the priest answered back by squeezing his palm around his hand. Goku visually shuddered, and buried his face in the sheets, nuzzling the fabric and turning his eyes back to look at Sanzo.

 

Sanzo had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. Goku seemed to feel the same way and after Homura had carefully slipped his two fingers out of Goku, the boy was propping up on his elbows, preparing to turn around to situate himself on his back. Homura hovering over Goku allowed the position change and Sanzo resumed his hold on Goku's hand again, this time not waiting for the palm to be offered or not. Homura took possession of Goku's other hand, which had been left to fist the sheets and gripped it tightly as he settled onto Goku.

 

Both men had taken a hold of one hand, Sanzo his right and Homura his left, both gripping tightly and not looking like they would ever let go. Goku feeling his hands press into the mattress smiled up wantonly at Homura who was a bit taken aback by that smile and rightly so because there was such a predatory look on Goku's usually innocent face that it didn't register that maybe he was the one being taken for the ride. He felt his cock twitch at the look in Goku's eyes and going for a kiss was met with the smooth skin of the boy's cheek. Goku was playing coy, or was it Seiten Taisei playing coy, it surely did seem that way. He never believed Goku to be the wicked sort, he never believed he could ever get that look on his face or that the innocent blush had vanished and arriving on it's heels was something animalistic, something needing to be tamed.

 

Homura was more than up to the task at hand; surely Konzen would not hold it against him if he were rough with dear Goku, dear sweet Goku. Could Konzen see the change, he should be able to. It wasn't hard to see the difference.

 

Those sedatives had been especially made for Goku. For this moment, he had given them secretly, administered in the room where he had chained up Goku, most curious to see if Goku would fall asleep all together or would his other side partially awaken, a part that was usually violent and merciless.

 

Was this the part that would reinvent the world? He hadn't been sure, he could sense the potential in the boy from their very first meeting, he could see it in his eyes but it was even more pronounced now. It was terribly exciting to be on top of Seiten Taisei. To have such a creature spread before him. God of creation and god of destruction that had torn heaven apart by the seams, had killed and maimed, all for reasons that he could not understand. Or could not access because his other side, the side that had unconditionally loved Konzen, and Tenpou and Kenren, had cried and been heartbroken at the fact that the ones he cared for had been killed by Li Touten, had selflessly given their lives for him and that he could not bring them back.

 

Homura could feel pity for such a creature; they were the same after all, both heretics, both blasphemers by mere existence. It was hard not to take pity on Seiten Taisei because it was so easy to take pity on himself. The only difference, Seiten Taisei had something to fall back on, he had friends that cared for him, that would and had put their own lives, their own arms out to the wolves. He had found the one person he had been searching for, it had taken him five hundred years but they had found each other and hadn't let go since.

 

Seiten Taisei had a chance to become whole again; Goku had a chance to be whole again. Homura was glad for just the chance to witness it. He was envious of Konzen that he had found Goku and he had not found Rinrei yet, and he was envious of his life here, of all of their lives here. The Jade Emperor, what a fool, he had thrown them from Heaven, but it seemed more like a reward than a punishment. They were happier here than he had ever seen them, no longer censured, no longer deprived, no longer having to hide and squirm beneath the thumb of a boring despot.

 

Beautiful Freedom.

 

He was eternally jealous. He was furiously jealous of Konzen and taking Goku had seemed awfully tempting. It was petty and after years of noble aspirations to serve the Emperor, to try and clear his name of the stain of his heretical birth, he believed he deserved it. He deserved a creature like Goku. They belonged to each other. Konzen had no place. It was frustration from not finding Rinrei, so out of his grasp, so out of his reach that he was pathetically running after her shadow. She was so kind, kind like Goku and beautiful, such a soft, haunting voice, her naivety, her innocence, her death.

 

Grabbing both of Seiten's legs, Homura held them up in the air. He was already painfully hard and finding the boy's entrance, he pushed slowly inside.

 

The smile on this creature's face widened, Homura was sure this was the look that Seiten Taisei favored his opponents before he cut them down. It didn't matter anymore because soon he was thrusting into his body, feeling the tight constriction around his member that whether god, human or demon was equally enough to bring each to his knees.

 

To take someone like this, he hadn't been given the chance to love Rinrei, she had been taken away from him, and he had never found himself wanting to bed anyone but her. Goku on the other hand, he had instantly taken a liking to, an almost carnal curiosity that hadn't been sated by their battles or by their viciousness. Taking him to bed had been something that had never left his mind. It was the reason why Konzen had immediately disliked him. He was sure the reincarnated god could sense it.

 

Seiten had wrapped his legs around his waist tightly, the same smug, wide smile spread over his face, infuriating and beautiful. A creature that knew it was basically at the top of the food chain and that it had every right to gloat over it. Homura wondered what it would have been like to take Goku to bed. Surely the boy would have been embarrassed, and most likely would have fought him because he felt loyalty to Konzen, piety like a worshipper.

 

Nothing would have been accomplished and it would have probably ended in much blood. He could tell Goku had feelings for him but grudgingly it had something to do with his likeness to Konzen. An inkling of a crush that was due to his fighting prowess and admiration and respect. Those were the things he expected from Goku, Seiten Taisei however was not embarrassed, seemed to be teasing him and taking pleasure from the sense that a warrior was bowing to him. A War God was trembling between his legs, finding bliss from his touch. He was flattered and that flattery made him smug and complacent, lying on his back, like a detached prince finding humor in his subjects.

 

It made Homura want to hurt him.

 

Sanzo who was holding onto the boy's hands, could feel fingernails digging into his skin. He could hear Homura's breathing quicken and he saw Goku smile at him, hollow and mocking. Stupid fool had unleashed Seiten Taisei. He might not have the physical attributes to the beast, the long claws, the slender ears, the deep-set fangs, the insane strength, but one thing that Sanzo could instantly recognize were the eyes, slit and an eerie golden haze that looked omnipotent. It seemed that Goku's primal side had been attracted by the strength of a formidable opponent. The blood of a God calling, like a siren to the beast and who was Seiten Taisei not to answer that enticing voice.

 

Homura pounding into the body of Goku felt his erection tighten with each successful thrust. He heard a growl from the body beneath him, and he could tell that this creature, was finally feeling the effects of having greater weight slam into him for an amount of time. He might be Seiten Taisei but he hadn't been fully awakened, he was still trapped in his other half's more human shell. He didn't have the power of a god, but Homura did and plenty of it, holding the boy down by the clutch of his hand, his other hand now traveling between their bodies to grab hold of sensitive flesh. The sage howled. Tried to rip his hand away from Homura and Sanzo seeing this was about to throw Homura off. Even if it was Seiten, it was still Goku's body; he didn't want him hurting him because of pride issues.

 

Seiten sensing whom the stronger here was and feeling the utter unexpectedness of it submitted almost happily. His head laying back and welcoming the kiss that Homura had been trying to bestow on him since the beginning.

 

Sanzo felt bewilderment. It was like Goku…like he was going through stages. Or was it more accurate to say that Seiten was seeing how much he could get away with before he was burned. Somehow that knowledge didn't have Sanzo feeling better. It just meant Seiten was smarter than everyone gave him credit for and that was dangerous, very dangerous. Or it could just be that this strange mixture of Seiten and Goku had him feeling uncomfortable.

 

Seiten opened his legs wider, wanting to give Homura's hand enough room to pleasure him. His eyes suddenly turned to address the monk at his side who was still holding his hand almost religiously. He smiled at Sanzo, and Sanzo feeling himself drawn in and drunk over how desirable Goku looked bent forward to kiss the boy properly. Homura turning his head the other way, focused on the feeling of Goku's erection in his hands and the thighs that were mercifully milking him. He could hear Konzen kissing Goku, could hear the throaty moans the boy was giving off and suddenly Goku was coming in his hand. He felt the contractions and the hard pull on his cock and came violently inside the boy. Goku clamped his legs harder around his body and he choked out the boy's name as he looked up to watch this creature pull away from Konzen and cry out.

 

Konzen was looking down at him as Goku came off his high and Homura could plain as day, see the desire on the man's face. Well Konzen would get his turn soon enough…however that didn't entirely mean that he had to give up his turn early.

Shifting, Homura could feel his cock give up the last traces of his hardness, he pushed into Goku one last time, wanting to feel the loosening of muscles and the warmth that he had been slamming into only minutes before. Goku groaned, his body extremely sensitive after release and sighed his name as he relaxed back into the bed.

 

Konzen gave him one of the nastiest and meanest looks he had ever seen from the blond. He laughed internally at the monk's anger. Regaining his composure, he pulled out of Goku slowly and then grabbing a sheet, wiped himself off as Konzen was wiping Goku off and petting his hair. Homura looking at the pair and stifled back a response to tease the monk on his kindness. It was so strange how Konzen was so unkind to the boy when he was awake and breathing and then when he slept, or wasn't conscious, was so overly affectionate and doting, almost like the boy would break into a thousand pieces if he wasn't gentle with him. Konzen had not changed, still so introverted, even now more so, still so afraid to get close to others, especially the ones that counted.

 

The boy seemed to enjoy the attention and sitting up, he reached out for Konzen pulling the man into a hug. Konzen looked surprised but then he was distracted when Goku went for his mouth. Small hands were slipping under his robes and soon it was up and over his head and thrown over the side of the bed along with the Scriptures.

 

Homura thought how easy it would be to take the Scriptures right now, but that hadn't been their truce. He saw Konzen's gun laid out on the floor, forgotten. Konzen too busy enjoying himself, he could see the man suddenly smile into Goku's lips and the boy crawling onto Konzen's lap gripping the back of his neck and crushing their mouths together. It seemed that Konzen was not even aware of his presence, not even when he walked over to the side of the bed and sat down behind Goku.

 

He passed a hand over the boy's clothed back, slipping his hand under his shirt and rubbing along his spine, feeling the knobs that ran down his back like tracks. They stuck out just as much as the boy's collarbone and Homura could not help himself as his fingers traced over each bone. Goku's body was still in that awkward phase of growing and stretching out, his bones sharp because of thinnest, his skin trying to stretch itself over his growing bones. He was almost delicate looking when he wore all his heavy clothing but under it all he was lean, Homura could see the strength in his arms, in his back and his legs. Goku was going to have a growth spurt one day, and Homura wondered what he would look like, finally being rid of his pubescent body.

 

Sanzo's hand suddenly came around Goku and without warning brushed up against Homura's seeking hand on the boy's back. He growled, actually growled like some sort of mad dog, Homura not knowing what to make out of this discovery that Konzen could…growl- well it did beat the cursing, at least he got his point out clearer- kept his hand on Goku's back. Konzen seemed to not like this since his hand was still searching for that perfect spot in the middle of Goku's spine that Homura's large hand selfishly took up.

 

Sanzo pushed at his hand. Homura pushed back.

 

Then Sanzo pulled away with much effort from Goku to shout, “Move your fucking hand.”

 

Homura smiled back because what he was about to say would most surely have Konzen wanting to run for his gun, “But it was here first.”

 

Sanzo narrowed his eyes and Goku who was still in his lap tried to kiss him but the fiery monk pushed the boy's head to the side so he could clearly see Homura behind him. Goku made a pained sound. Sanzo ignored it in favor to put down some ground rules.

 

“I didn't get between you when you were with him.”

 

“No, you didn't, but you did kiss him when it was clearly my turn.”

 

Sanzo held back a swear, actually a string of swears.

 

“I said move your hand.”

 

Homura cut in with his smooth voice, making Sanzo even angrier, “How about we let Goku decide.”

 

And as if on cue both men turned to look at Goku, the boy smiling at Sanzo almost dreamily, his golden eyes melting and closing as he arched up into Sanzo's touch without any encouragement from the blond, and slipping one hand off the back of the priest, he brought it back and around Homura's neck, so he could pull the war god's face against his nape.

 

Sanzo didn't look too pleased with Goku's choice and Homura chanced all the man's spite just to see the look on his face, the one that wanted to punch him in the face. He smiled at Sanzo and the blond turned his head abruptly, looking too frazzled to do anything about Goku's choice.

 

Goku however was perfectly content and slipping his hand through Sanzo's blond hair, he tangled his hand in his strands as he guided the man's head down and right to the crook of his neck. Sanzo was happy for the distraction and getting comfortable, he began to suck on the boy's shoulder. He could hear Goku breathlessly murmur something and with no qualms about what he was going to be intruding upon now that Goku was in his lap, he opened his eyes.

 

Homura had one palm around Goku's throat, his lips fastened to a spot behind the boy's ear as Goku held onto the God's black hair with a death grip, his knuckles twisting as he pulled.

 

Goku however minus the treatment to Homura was being completely gentle with him, stroking his hair and sighing in his ear. It made Sanzo wonder what warranted the different behavior between the two of them and then he shut that thought out, as it would be very unfair if Goku treated them the same. And it did make sense how rough Goku was being with the God; they did fight every chance they got after all.

 

Sanzo suddenly heard Homura groan. The fist in his hair tightening as he squeezed Goku's throat in his hand and felt the boy swallow hard. The muscles in his throat working to catch his breathe.

 

Goku grinding down into Sanzo's lap, trying to find and untie the elusive knot of pleasure in his belly, moved even harder against the blond eliciting a moan and a desperate grab for his shoulders.

 

Sanzo attacked Goku's collarbone and the boy moved against his lap again, this time if possible harder, grinding down until Sanzo was sure he would come all over himself and make a mess out of his jeans. It didn't surprise him at the speed that he'd opened his pants and pulled out his erection or at how quickly he had pushed into Goku, overly eager and stupid with lust to even want to think about what he was doing. Goku had started to pull at his hair, shuddering, and then was lunging at his face so fast that he nearly tumbled them both out of the bed.

 

They kissed. Sanzo fumbled with Goku's hips, bucked up into the embrace of Goku's thighs and felt himself leaking.

 

“Uh…god.” He didn't want to say these things because he knew Homura was right there, right behind Goku and could hear everything. Sanzo self-consciously opened his eyes and he could see Homura looking at him, the smile never leaving his face as he watched the blond priest unravel.

 

“My, my, Konzen, shouldn't you be calling Goku's name, instead of my own.” His smile broke new boundaries on his face and Sanzo really wanted to punch him for it. Right in the fucking eye.

 

Goku shifted and made a mewling noise and Homura slipping his hands around the boy's torso went straight for his cock. Sanzo felt panic, but the tightness clutching him so close, he couldn't bring himself to react fast enough. He wanted Goku all for himself, everything, his body, and his need and yet Homura had again beaten him to it. It was infuriating and…hot…and moist.

 

This was ridiculous, it shouldn't feel this good, how could something feel so good, how could a child, a being offer him heaven this easily, this fast, this memorizing. What had he done to deserve…fuck what had Homura done to deserve this? They hadn't done anything, only sinned and god Sanzo had never believed sinners could go to heaven until now.

 

Sinner's clamoring desperately for this boy who could smile so deep it hurt to look at him sometimes, to hold him, to be near him, to watch him. It was pathetic, that two grown men couldn't control themselves, couldn't help being pathetic and needing the person they felt in their hearts was special so much that they would fight, tooth and nail for a chance to be with him. It was submission, an ultimate submission that should have scared him, it should have scared Homura as well since the god was a warrior, a fighter, and with that you had to put some reasonable distance between yourself and the ones around you. He obviously hadn't gotten that memo, neither had Homura, because they were both so hopelessly stuck on Goku that it made him wonder what the fuck the boy had done to them. To him.

 

Homura kissing up Goku's nape had the ever-annoying habit of…talking. God did he ever shut the fuck up?

 

“It feels amazing doesn't it…like he could steal your soul, if he just moved.”

 

“Shut…,” That was the stupidest and most profound words Sanzo had ever heard, right up there with Goku telling him he was his sun because even though they both made no sense, it was the feeling that made sense. Trying to discern the words, it was a jumbled mess, a dumb effort but the feeling, that he knew what Homura was exactly talking about because yes, it did feel like his soul was trying to leave his body, trying to exit through his every pore. It hurt.

 

Sanzo feeling the room swelter, the almost scalding hold on his shaft moved involuntarily inside of Goku. He choked on his breath and Goku suddenly cried out, the voice unmistakably belonging to his young charge and not Seiten.

 

When had the change happened? Oh…he really couldn't think…or breathe.

 

“The sedatives have worn off,” opening his eyes, Sanzo could see Goku, could see the soft mouth and the surprised look on his face that wasn't all that surprised when he looked deeper. Had he been conscious of it all along? What the hell was going on?

 

Homura chose to move his hand up Goku's erection at that moment and the boy flinched back, pressing himself against the War God and his cock.

 

“You've finally woken Goku, my apologies for using such unhanded methods to get you into my bed.” Homura spoke right up against Goku's ear but the words seemed wholly unrepentant.

 

`Apology my ass.'

 

Sanzo a little mad at being interrupted and that Homura had Goku's attention nudged the boy on the hip. The motion had the desired effect and Goku shifting forward and pressing himself into Sanzo made the monk want to start moving his hips.

 

“Or should I ask for both of our forgiveness since Konzen…your Sanzo has not been entirely a gentleman.”

 

Goku feeling the erection inside of him and the way Sanzo was breathing in his hair thought about what Homura had just said. He'd actually been somewhat aware of what had been going on and it hadn't bothered him one bit. In fact he was feeling quite smug about it, really smug because these two men, two men who he had admired and loved in different ways had both been fighting over him.

 

He couldn't help but feel good about himself at that moment. Really good, like he could do anything and watching Sanzo…the one who he cared so much for, had shed so many tears, had shared so many smiles with, so many things, felt a swift sureness take over his heart making him move on top of the blond.

 

Sanzo seized up, let go a few curse words and then started pumping inside of Goku. Homura began rubbing himself off on Goku's back, his breaths strenuous in the boy's ear.

 

How was this even possible? How could he possible have them both, when he had always wanted Sanzo, felt small yearnings for Homura, needful and very consuming in moments. He'd resigned himself to that fact that he might not have neither, that no one would love him, care for him, touch him and yet…

 

Sanzo came inside of him, hot and long and Goku could suddenly feel something wet on his back, knowing the other man had also released. The hand still working him tightening until he saw a tiny explosion behind his eyelids, and slumping back, Goku rested his head on Homura's shoulder as a heated whisper ran along his neck thrilling into his ears.

 

“He's so fortunate to have you.”

 

Sanzo who was still recovering from the bliss of his orgasm had most likely missed the comment and Goku not sure if he should feel bad for wanting to hear Homura's voice whisper those words again turned his head to kiss the god, thankful for such sweet sentiments. He turned around to kiss Sanzo too because the monk looked so tired, liked he had just fought a battle that had wiped him of every burden imaginable.

 

Goku thought in a way he did.

 

Sanzo putting his hands under both his arms raised him up and pulled out off the brunette, Goku felt a slight twinge and then more hands as Homura who was still at his back settled him back on the bed.

 

He was really tired. Like he could sleep forever watched over by protectors that were silent and relentless. He curled into himself, breathed in the silence and the comfortable, warm sheets under him. He felt the shifting of the bed, someone passed a hand over his forehead and Goku wanted to open his eyes but sleep, it was so swift, so focused that he crashed into mindless slumber, to tired, to sated to worry about anything anymore.

 

Homura watching Goku sleep turned to Sanzo who was still petting his hair.

 

“When he wakes up what will you say to him?”

 

Sanzo stopped touching Goku's hair. “What the hell does that have anything to do with you?”

 

“Just curious is all, a god can wonder, can't he?”

 

“Well if you were a decent God, you wouldn't have to wonder.”

 

“True.”

 

Both of them stared at each other. They still hated each other, and Sanzo would have no problem pulling a trigger on this god when the time came, would have no problem watching him disappear and never return.

 

He suddenly-strangely!- felt a little bad for thinking that, Goku would no doubt cry like the emotional dolt he was. He would cry and Sanzo thought that this stupid bastard would make Goku cry when he died.

 

The future didn't look too promising now. Even though he might be rid of the god forever.

 

“Konzen?”

 

“What?”

 

“Don't let the past repeat it's mistakes…hold onto him this time, or I won't forgive you.”

 

Sanzo not sure what to say to these words, or the tone, the very deadly, threatening tone, bent down to pick up his robes and his gun.

 

“I don't need your forgiveness.”

 

They studied each other for a bit longer and then Homura smiling at the conclusion to this evening, whispered more to himself than the priest, “No, you don't.”

 

Sanzo threw a questioning glance at the god then after dressing Goku, and slipping his robes onto the boy, he carried him out of the castle without a backwards glance.

 

A/N: Please review and tell me what's wrong, what's right. I don't know reviews are appreciated.