Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ None So Blind ❯ Chapter 3

Kouryuu returned to consciousness trapped under a great weight. He couldn't see through this red haze.... Something soft grazed his face. It smelled like his master's pipe smoke.

It was his master's hair.

He was lying trapped under his master's cooling body. Memory came in lightning flashes: the youkai, his master stepping in front of him, the arm upraised to strike, so much blood.... His head must have struck the floor, and the youkai had figured him dead.

When he turned his head he could see his master's arm lying in a smear of blood across the room.

His hands wanted to scrabble at the bloody, cooling, stiffening mass above him, to get it off, yet horror suffused him at handling Koumyou Sanzo that way. Kouryuu could feel his teeth grinding as he tried to hold back the scream that wanted to erupt from him. This hurt like nothing he'd ever felt before, as if his own body had been ripped apart with his master's, his father's. Be strong, Genjo Sanzo....

That was him now. Not Kouryuu, the child Koumyou Sanzo had rescued from the river. He was Priest Genjo Sanzo, chosen by the gods to be the thirty-first successor of the Seiten and Maten sutras. The Seiten sutra that had the power to bring forth the light. The Maten sutra that had the power to break the darkness. The Maten sutra that had the power to....

He had to be strong, as his master had commanded.

Koumyou Sanzo had passed on, and this was only flesh. Genjo Sanzo pulled himself out from under the corpse and stood. But he couldn't stop looking at the blood all over his hands, all over himself.

"Master Sanzo! Kouryuu! Hey, snap out of it! What happened here?"

At that point he realized that Shuuei had come into the room and grabbed him by the shoulders, asking for an explanation. As Kouryuu's last act, he answered, "I'm--" His thoughts wouldn't come together.... "I couldn't protect him."

Never again. Never again.

Embrace nothing. Be bound to nothing. And to no one.

He no longer had anything keeping him here.

In the driver's seat, Hakkai watched Sanzo tremble in his sleep and heard his breath catching now and then as if he might sob or scream but refused to. Sitting in the passenger seat with his head tilted down, Sanzo had his hair shielding his face from view, but his fingers twitched in his lap. Goku and Gojyo slept like the dead, so Hakkai was usually the only one to wake to the sound of Sanzo's occasional nightmares. Or to the sound of the others' when they had them. He knew better than to try to wake any of them during these times.

But it hurt to be a helpless spectator, something he knew too well. He wanted to help....

Eventually Sanzo stilled and his breathing evened out. Hakkai watched for a while longer, then returned to sleep.

When they woke the next morning, Sanzo either didn't remember the dream or wouldn't admit to it. He just about vibrated with impatience as Hakkai used his chi to feel out the lingering damage in his head. Damn Gojyo for mentioning those spots where the hair grew back in, because now they tempted Hakkai worse than they would have otherwise. He kept his fingers on less emotionally-charged parts of Sanzo's head and touched only lightly.

"Some swelling still lingers, but it's almost gone," Hakkai said as he moved away a little, giving Sanzo space. "I'm wondering even more now if someone might be keeping you blind."

"Some power is involved? Is there a way for you to tell if it's there and who's responsible?"

"Unfortunately no. If it is there, the way it's using physical damage as a foundation and camouflage makes it hard to find evidence of it, let alone give me the opportunity to see if there's some kind of identifier."

"If someone's responsible, I want him dead for this."

"Of course."

The youkai swarmed too closely and thickly for Sanzo to use his cane, so he had his gun out, shooting when he wasn't punching, kicking, and ducking. It looked like he should use the sutra.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai yelled. "It would seem to be time to use the--"

"You don't have to tell me my job!" he yelled back.

After throwing himself forward, knocking enemies out of the way to give himself a little clear space, he started the chant, clearing his mind of everything but the power. Fortunately, the force that already came off him even as he started helped protect him a bit from enemies. Bright power flowed inside him like healing sunlight, power that he could see with his eyes closed. As the Maten sutra triggered, exploding outward, as usual he felt as if he stood at the center of a tornado.

He seemed so small by comparison when it finished.

Opening his eyes, he winced at the residual light. And color? As he blinked the smear of light and color took on details until he could see everything clearly, although the sunlight stabbed at his eyes in a painful way. Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku finished off the youkai who'd escaped the sutra.

The sutra. The Maten sutra... which breaks the darkness.

Shit. Kanzeon had told him that his cure was very close to him. Would have been nice if se'd told him it was sitting on his fucking shoulders the whole fucking time.

As Hakkai finished his last opponent, he looked over to see how Sanzo was, then looked again as he realized that Sanzo was looking back, seeing him. It was obvious in the movement of his eyes and tilt of his head. His sight had returned. Hakkai figured that he was probably smiling stupidly in his joy but didn't care, simply glad that Sanzo would feel whole again. Then Sanzo started cursing in such length and anger that it should have blistered the air and killed its main target, the Merciful Goddess. Hakkai put his hands over Goku's ears.

"I've heard it all before!" Goku protested as he pulled the hands away.

"Not so much of it at once. I'm almost feeling faint," Gojyo answered with a smirk.

"Wow, yeah. He is pissed off."

"He can see again, right?"

"Yes," Hakkai answered.

"Really?" Goku asked, then said, "I told you that nothing could keep Sanzo down."

Hakkai saw a sudden swirl of color form near Sanzo. "Sanzo, look--"

Sanzo dodged away and had his gun up as he asked, "Who the hell are you?"

The youkai that now stood there said, "Such a shame. I was having such fun watching you stumble around."

"You kept me blinded?"

"How could I pass up such a golden opportunity?"

Sanzo fired, but the youkai didn't stand there anymore, disappearing in a swirl similar to the one it arrived in. He started to reappear at Sanzo's back to his left, in a good position to strike. But Sanzo had closed his eyes and whirled around to face him and blow his head off, leaving him quite dead.

It looked to Hakkai as if Sanzo had used the senses he'd developed and refined while blind to find and kill his opponent. He'd felt the youkai reappear without needing to see him.

"Stupid as well as weak," Sanzo said. "You should have killed me instead of played with me." From the expression on his face, he appeared to be fiercely happy. Looking at Hakkai and Gojyo, he asked with a sneer, "You still want me now?"

"Yes," they both said, without hesitation.

Sanzo's momentary expression of surprise took years off his age and widened his eyes. Then he winced and blinked.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

"World's too fucking bright at the moment," Sanzo muttered as he put his gun away.

Gojyo took a pair of dark sunglasses out of a pocket of his jacket and handed them to Sanzo. "I liked them so much from that disguise that time that I kept them. Enjoy."

Sanzo regarded them in his hand as if he expected them to explode, then put them on. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"It's a shame I didn't think to order us pizza while Sanzo-sama was still blind," Gojyo said as he picked up a slice. "That would have been fun to watch."

"You'd like to have my fingers dragging through your cheese?" Sanzo asked, annoyed.

"On one level that's disgusting, but on another it sounds like a euphemism for something dirty."

"It would, to you."

As much as Sanzo appreciated being able to see as he ate, which helped stop his food from escaping him as it had during his blindness, dinner was an oddly uncomfortable experience. After all this time reconstructing faces for his traveling companions in his head, seeing them again gave him the shock of realizing that he'd misremembered them. His mind had made them into caricatures, picturing Hakkai ever smiling in a fake way, Gojyo ever leering and smirking, and Goku much shorter.

Their room for the night had a mirror in it, which showed him that he hadn't even remembered himself correctly, though it could partly be that he'd lost some weight from his recent struggles with food. Surely his collarbones hadn't always protruded so much. He didn't look forward to seeing his ribs. The bare spots on the back of his head didn't look as big or as bad as he'd imagined. But he had to sternly tell himself not to touch the fuzz growing in. It wouldn't be dignified. Especially not with the others watching him so carefully.

He kept catching all of them looking at him with idiot grins, forcing him to smack them with his fan and growl.

Everything seemed brighter and louder and wrong, putting him off balance. He hoped that would fade as he became accustomed to seeing again. At least he could handle the dimmer light used inside the inn at night.

Who knew that it would be difficult to readjust himself to his natural condition?

Tomorrow he would probably have to wear the sunglasses he borrowed from Gojyo. Gojyo better not make anything of it.

"I'm going outside to smoke," Sanzo said. "Alone."

Goku sulked, but the monkey could just live with it. Sanzo needed to get away.

Outside, he enjoyed the night and the ability to light up a cigarette without having to grope himself, his pack, and his lighter and overthink everything. Sight took what had seemed like ten extra steps out of the process.

"It's a pretty night," Kanzeon said. "The kind that makes you feel thankful for what you have."

"I'm not in the mood for you, bitch."

"You're never in the mood. Not that I care."

"The cure is closer than I realize. Very funny."

"I thought it was." Se smiled. "I was helpful."

"Like hell."

"You've been a prissy, uptight little bitch through several hundred years and lives. Anything that forces you to loosen up is a good thing. I'm sure you'll start to see things differently now."

Very funny. As if he cared what se thought. "Fuck off."

"Grouchy." Se disappeared into a flash of light and the scent of incense and flowers.

It surprised him that se had nothing to say about Gojyo and Hakkai declaring their lust for him. It seemed like the kind of thing se would find highly amusing, especially given hir crack about him being a prissy, uptight little bitch.

When he returned, none of the others remained in the room. But they'd left a newspaper. Sanzo's fingers didn't shake at all as he took his reading glasses out of his sash and put them on, then picked up the paper and sat on the bed.

As they cracked open the door to watch, Goku whispered, "That was a great idea, Hakkai! It made him happy."

"That's what I hoped for," Hakkai answered and discreetly elbowed Gojyo back.

"He's smiling."

By Sanzo's standards, he was.

Gojyo grinned at Hakkai as he tilted his head toward Goku. It did look as if they'd gained some points from Goku with this gesture. Even better, they had made Sanzo happy, touched him.

Sanzo suddenly looked toward them and yelled, "Close the door! I'm not entertainment for you!"

Goku obeyed, while Gojyo asked, "How long is it before his other senses start to fade back to normal?"

"Ah, it's hard to say," Hakkai answered. "It's different for everyone."

"Great." Then Gojyo smiled. "Great."

"What?" Goku asked.

"Just something I noticed that might make things happier. So, do we pass muster, monkey?"

"I'm not a monkey! You're not helping yourself."

"Sorry."

"You and Hakkai seem to be trying to make Sanzo happy, so keep up the good work on that. But I'll still be watching."

"I didn't know you were kinky."

"You're such a pain in the ass."

"So many obvious answers to that."

"Where are we supposed to go, anyway? We only have one room." Goku's face took on a determined expression. "I'm going in."

"It was nice knowing you," Gojyo said as he waved goodbye.

Goku walked in and closed the door. How unfortunate that they'd finally found an inn with thick walls, because Hakkai couldn't make out a word. He vaguely heard Sanzo sounding annoyed and Goku alternating between whining and a measured, reasonable tone. Eventually, the talking stopped without Goku being ejected from the room.

Gojyo shook his head. "Goku's the only one who can get away with that."

"True," Hakkai answered. Sanzo certainly allowed Goku liberties.

"You think he'll ever figure it out?"

"Goku or Sanzo?"

"Both. Either. 'Course if Sanzo did, the carte blanche would be over. The monkey wouldn't be unthreatening anymore."

"I'm not so sure of that."

"Ow. Thank you for giving me a mental image I'll have to scrub out of my brain."

It was Gojyo's own fault for having such a dirty mind. "I live to please."

"You do that." Gojyo's smile took on a lecherous air, and he put his arm around Hakkai's shoulders. "Let's go drinking, paint the town. Celebrate. We have a sighted holy pain in the ass back with us."

Hakkai found it hard to resist him when he was in such a mood. "We do have a victory to celebrate. Lead on."

Sanzo stared at Goku over the top edge of his paper. Still, at least he could stare now. "I said I didn't want an audience."

Grinning, Goku settled under the covers of the other bed. "I'm not watching you. I'm going to bed."

"I need the light to read."

"I'll put the covers over my head to make it dark for me. That way I can't see you either."

Goku had refuted the reasonable arguments. That left only the arguments that would make Sanzo look stupid. Being averse to looking stupid, Sanzo said, "Don't snore." One might as well tell the ocean not to be salty, but effort counted.

"Okay!" Goku put the covers over his head, leaving only a big lump in Sanzo's sight.

It was... good to be able to see Goku again.

Annoyed with himself as well as the monkey, Sanzo went back to reading his newspaper. Within minutes, Goku began to snore. Sanzo continued reading anyway. If he smacked the monkey around, that would wake him up and lead to talking and staring. Snoring was preferable.

A little while later, Sanzo set aside his paper, put out the lights, set the Maten sutra aside, and quickly and easily chose which of the two beds he'd sleep in tonight. At least if Goku molested him, it would be unconscious or by accident.

Besides, Goku put out a lot of heat, which would make the cold night more comfortable. It felt very warm under the covers. Sanzo gave Goku as much space as the bed allowed and eventually fell asleep.

They swayed together as they walked up the stairs. Gojyo, who had his arm over Hakkai's shoulder, knew that Hakkai didn't get buzzed as he did, so the swaying with him had to be a companionable thing. Hakkai did things like that.

"I want you so bad, but we have a monk anna monkey who would kill us," Gojyo said. "And the monk's ability to aim is back."

Hakkai smiled. "It's a shame that villager chased us out of that alley."

"Yeah! Who says he had to walk there this late at night? He was probably up to no good."

When they opened the door to the room, Sanzo popped partly up from bed with his gun in hand. "What?"

"Just us, Sanzo," Hakkai answered mildly.

"Oh." Sanzo dropped back down.

"I think he was actually still asleep," Hakkai whispered.

"Sleepkilling. That would have been fun," Gojyo replied, then noticed Goku snuggling in closer to Sanzo. "Heh. Look at how cute they are, cuddling like that."

Hakkai pinched the rim of his ear. It hurt. "You will not say something snide about that in the morning."

"I know Goku's helping by getting Sanzo used to being touched and snuggled, but c'mon. They're so damn cute. I tease because I love."

Hakkai smiled again but said, "Keep the goal in mind."

"Yes, coach. Bed?"

Sanzo woke to what appeared to be a gray, drizzly morning, which would mean a damp ride in the jeep. He didn't look forward to it. It took him a moment to realize that he saw things again, still. It surprised him, since few positive things stayed.

During a gray, rainy day, he wouldn't need to use Gojyo's shades.

Goku made a muffled sound and grabbed Sanzo tighter. That he should have expected. Sanzo noticed Gojyo awake and watching them, so he asked, "No smart comments to make?"

"Uhm. No," Gojyo answered, looking languid as usual but also a little uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? I know that the urge to say something stupid must be overwhelming."

"Sanzo," Hakkai said suddenly, "could you please stop goading Gojyo?"

Giving Sanzo a nearly conspiratorial look and smile, Gojyo asked, "Your time of the month, Hakkai?" The halfbreed had a death wish.

Hakkai twitched, then his habitual smile settled back into place. "That would be a good excuse to cut you off, wouldn't it?"

"Ow. Burn. It's not healthy to go without sex. Look at Sanzo."

"Let's not," Sanzo said.

"But you're so cute!"

This conversation had to be terminated. "It hasn't started raining yet, but it looks like it may start at any moment. I want to get as much distance done today as possible."

"But we're getting breakfast, right?" Goku asked into Sanzo's chest.

"If we make it fast."

"I can do that!"

After a day of mist and drizzle, the rain came in the late afternoon in what seemed like sheets of water. Visibility dropped to almost zero. You didn't need to be Hakkai to know that Hakuryuu's loud, indignant "Kyuuuu!" translated to "The hell I'm driving much farther in this shit." Fortunately they found a town nearby to stop for the night in.

Once they had their rooms, two this time, they all towel-dried their hair and changed out of their clothing. Sanzo did it privately and quickly, shivering all the while. With his robes soaked through, he put on just jeans, one of his sleeveless high-collared tops, socks, and the other pair of his usual fingerless gloves.

When he returned to the other room, he saw that everyone had changed into loose, warm clothing. Hakkai smiled as he shuffled a deck of cards. "It'll be hours until we usually sleep. Anyone want to play cards to pass the time?"

"Yeah. Now that my sight is back, I don't have to worry so much about Gojyo cheating me," Sanzo answered.

"I'm so hurt. You'll have to make it up to me somehow, Sanzo-chan," Gojyo replied.

"I don't think so," Goku said, sounding almost threatening.

As they sat at the small table and played, Sanzo noticed that Hakkai and Gojyo were watching him closely and didn't bother to hide it from each other. At first he wanted to snap at them for staring, but doing that would only draw more attention to it and him. But as time went on, he could feel his body instinctively responding to the heat in their gazes and the way their eyes followed his every move. They looked at him as if they liked what they saw, and not in the way too many people did, the people who only saw a Sanzo. Even Goku had an idealized outlook on him sometimes. They somehow didn't look at him in the way so many people who considered him a too-pretty man did either. While staring, Hakkai and Gojyo seemed to see him. It was annoying... and a bit arousing.

They saw him, yet they still wanted him. He had the power here.

Did he really just light up a cigarette and start smoking just to watch them watch his mouth? He told himself that he was just curious, that's all, and it made him smirk to see them react to him. But he knew that was bullshit. He was fucking flirting with them.

Was he really even thinking about this? This was stupid. He didn't need the attachments.

But he was already attached to these idiots by divine will. If he had no choice anyway, maybe he could find a way to get something out of it. They'd claimed they wanted the sex to please him, something no one had bothered with before.

"Ha!" Goku said as he set down his hand for everyone to see. "I win!"

"What?" Gojyo answered, genuinely outraged. "That's impossible."

"You and Hakkai are pathetic tonight, so it's not like it's something to be really proud of, but yeah, I won." Goku looked at Sanzo, and Sanzo suddenly had the thought that Goku knew exactly what was going on here. "Do you want me to go to dinner or something, Sanzo?"

Gojyo looked shocked, but Hakkai didn't seem surprised. Stung by Hakkai's reaction and the thought that Hakkai might know Goku better than he did, Sanzo decided to try to surprise Hakkai himself. "If you want to."

That worked. Hakkai looked surprised and hopeful at once. Gojyo looked smug. What a surprise.

Sanzo wasn't sure he knew what would happen next, but he wanted to get it settled, and he knew that having Goku here would give him too much of a temptation to sidestep the situation.

"Yeah, Sanzo. I'll come back later." Goku looked downhearted but also resolute.

Sanzo didn't know what to say to him. Some words and phrases had never come easily to him nor come out sounding as they should have. But, while looking at him, Goku smiled suddenly, reacting to something, then took Sanzo's gold card from his hand and left the room.

Hakkai and Gojyo leaned forward a bit, predatory and intimidating, but Sanzo knew that he could smack them down with a simple No. Knowing that he had the power here, he merely stared back, blew out a long plume of smoke, and said, "You must want it badly if it's fucking up your game that much."

"You're being very enticing, Sanzo," Hakkai said.

"You're not just teasing, are ya?" Gojyo asked. "Because the way you've been sitting for the last few minutes is making promises I really hope you'll keep."

Sanzo realized that he'd sprawled back a bit with his hips forward and his legs a bit open. "I'm... interested."

They didn't seem to be competing for him, instead making their play as a unit. It might be interesting.

"I like to hear a little more enthusiasm." Gojyo stood, approached Sanzo, then dropped to his knees between Sanzo's legs and rested his arms on Sanzo's thighs. "I think I have a way to get it."

Sanzo's cock jumped a little. "You're that conceited?"

"Confident." Gojyo's thumbs lightly stroked up Sanzo's inner thighs, maddening. "You're not moving away or hitting me with anything."

"Your grasp of the obvious amazes me."

Gojyo unzipped Sanzo's jeans and drew out Sanzo's cock but didn't do anything further. "Nobody complains about my grasp."

"Your fingers are cold."

"And you're not wearing underwear."

Refusing to tell him to get on with it, Sanzo instead took a long drag on his cigarette and asked, "What do you hope to gain from this?" Denials didn't work as well with his hard, idiot cock exposed and held in a loose grip, and he really wanted to know. They must think they could gain some advantage here.

"The pleasure of your company, Sanzo," Hakkai answered easily. He remained in his seat, watching. Waiting, perhaps.

"We don't think you're the type to turn mushy over sex," Gojyo said, "so that's not what's up. We just want you, that's all, and figure that we can make you feel good. Only advantage I figure to get out of it is sex."

"Are you just going to hold it now?" Sanzo finally snapped.

Gojyo smiled. "Interested?"

Gojyo moved forward and tongued the head in a few flickers of wet heat, then pulled back, his vibrantly red hair swinging. The chill air on Sanzo's wetted skin came as shock.

Sanzo almost bit through his cigarette at the sensations and would have backed away if Gojyo hadn't retained a grip on him. "Now who's a tease?" he asked. Not knowing what would come next, he stubbed the cigarette out in the ashtray before it became a hazard.

"Definitely interested. Cold? I'll warm you up."

Sanzo hissed as Gojyo smoothly went down on him and started to suck. Obviously Gojyo intended to warm him up with his mouth, finally putting it to good use. From the rush of hot pleasure and pressure Sanzo felt, it seemed to be working. Gojyo also stroked under the waistband of Sanzo's jeans with his fingers, light and sensitizing. It all felt too good and put Sanzo too far out of his own control. Gojyo would have to be good at this kind of thing, considering all the sex he had, but it didn't seem... fair. Which was a stupid thought, and Sanzo blamed the blowjob for his sudden inanity.

Sanzo didn't know what to do with his hips or hands. He sure as hell didn't want to look desperate or too eager, thrusting too hard or gripping Gojyo's silky looking hair. The sight of Gojyo's head bobbing in his lap produced a reaction that Sanzo couldn't control. At this rate he wouldn't last long, which would be embarrassing.

"You seem to be worried that it feels good," Hakkai said, who sat there watching with what seemed to be great interest. "Sanzo, if it doesn't feel good it's not being done right."

Gojyo murmured around Sanzo's cock, which made thinking almost impossible. Somehow Sanzo managed to answer, "I'm not worried."

The contented sounds Gojyo made confused Sanzo. What could he possibly be getting out of doing this? Sanzo had never enjoyed it.

"You can pull on Gojyo's hair a little," Hakkai said. "He likes that."

Pervert. Then again, Gojyo wasn't the one with someone's head in his lap while someone else watched. Sanzo's hands settled cautiously in red hair that was as soft as it looked. The vibrations of Gojyo's pleased murmuring around his cock made the move worthwhile. Rarely touching people, Sanzo hadn't given much thought to the weight and feeling of presence other people could have. With the pressure and pleasure building inexorably, it became harder not to make a sound or thrust hard.

"You can let go of yourself, Sanzo."

"I do what I want, Hakkai."

Then Gojyo did something with his fingers and tongue that made control impossible. Overwhelmed, unable to help himself, Sanzo came with a long harsh gasp. He came to feeling loose and nearly stoned while just about sharing the chair with Gojyo, whose face was so close.... "I don't... I don't kiss," Sanzo said. At the look on Gojyo's face, Sanzo said, "I don't kiss anyone."

"Gojyo," Hakkai said. Being them, Gojyo took that to mean "Come here and kiss me," since that's what he did. They kissed thoroughly and with tongue, lingering over it, while Hakkai's fingers looked casually possessive as they combed through and gripped Gojyo's hair. Sanzo wondered if Hakkai could taste him on Gojyo's lips and tongue and didn't know what he thought about that. There was something eye-catching and familiar about them like this, although they usually kept their physical displays out of Sanzo's sight. He saw them entire at the moment, including aspects he'd never cared to be confronted with.

Gojyo was still hard, unsatisfied. It felt like a failure, somehow. If Sanzo had to act like a slut, he should do it well. "Is that all? It looks like you didn't finish."

As Hakkai's face pressed against and nuzzled the side of Gojyo's neck, Gojyo grinned and asked, "How so, San-chan?" At Sanzo's pointed look groin-ward, he said, "Oh, that. You wanna do something about that?"

"I might, if you avoid the stupid endearments."

"You could let Hakkai fuck you."

Hakkai looked as surprised as Sanzo felt. "How does that get you off?" Sanzo had to ask.

"It'll work. So, are ya game?"

Sanzo still didn't see Gojyo's angle or what satisfaction he would gain from it. Still, he'd be more willing to let Hakkai fuck him than Gojyo. With Gojyo it would devolve into a stupid argument and endless gibes over what it meant to be on top. As far as Sanzo could tell, Hakkai didn't bother so much with such things.

Then again, they'd kept their own sex lives hidden from him, at his demand. What did he know about how Hakkai's views on sex aside from knowing that the man would kill a thousand youkai for a lover's sake? At least Cho Gonou had. Cho Hakkai was a different man, but also a man who wore masks.

Involvement and attachment had peril. Philosophical and religious instruction had said as much, while experience had branded it into his mind and body.

Sanzo sat here with his dick already out while a traveling companion still had his taste in his mouth. He'd passed the time when he could back out gracefully. "Yeah." He'd enjoyed the blowjob, so maybe they'd find a way to make the fucking good as well.

Now they both looked surprised, which gave Sanzo a warm glow of satisfaction. "Yes?" Hakkai asked.

"How many times do I need to say yes? Don't make me change my mind."

"Yeah, don't let him start thinking about it," Gojyo said as he let go of Hakkai.

Hakkai cast a wry look back at him, then approached Sanzo the way someone might approach a wild animal, cautious and slow and broadly friendly. Sanzo showed his teeth as any wild animal might and let Hakkai figure out whether it was a smile, a snarl, or a hybrid child of both. In truth, he was amused. Hakkai's uncertainty about him made him feel less edgy about what he'd just agreed to.

They'd wanted him to do this blind? It never would have worked for him. He was far too paranoid.

Hakkai stopped in front of his chair, though not so close that he couldn't stand and leave if he wished, and took off his monocle and shirt. The shirt caught briefly on one of his limiter ear clips, which made Gojyo take in a long breath before breathing out as the shirt came free without pulling it off. Sanzo couldn't tell if that breath in had been fear or anticipation. Hakkai didn't let any of them see his full youkai form. The long scar on his belly still looked evil, as befitted the mark of a wound that had left his intestines hanging out. Did Gojyo, who claimed he'd stuffed those intestines back in, touch the scar or avoid it when they fucked? Hakkai's brown hair looked ruffled and a bit wild now. So far he'd stripped with a light matter-of-fact air, but as he started to unbutton his pants his expression took on a bit of challenge, a bit of "Well?"

Sanzo stood himself and pulled his shirt off. But as he went to take off one long glove, Hakkai murmured, "Leave them on," and smiled. Gojyo laughed. Sanzo ran his hand down his glove-wrapped arm, ending at the ring on his middle finger, and smiled at how Hakkai watched it. A Gojyo-like voice in Sanzo's head--and how disturbing was it to have such a voice?--said, Looks like someone has a kink.

To Sanzo's satisfaction, Hakkai didn't have his "I'm harmless" smile on. It showed respect. Hakkai would know that he never trusted that smile from anyone.

They hadn't even done anything to each other, yet Gojyo was about ready to come just from watching them. Yeah, making Sanzo lose it with the blowjob had been arousing, but watching these two circle and stare like wild animals in competition jacked him right up. Watching Sanzo being deliberately provocative in a sexual way blew his mind.

It had surprised him at first that Hakkai had chosen to do the hard and dangerous look for Sanzo's first time since he usually preferred the tender or playful approach, but Gojyo quickly realized that Hakkai figured that Sanzo wouldn't trust either of those. Sanzo, twisted up bastard he was, would see the tenderness as a lie and the playfulness as laughing at him. That left unbridled lust.

That seemed to be working well. Gojyo couldn't resist Hakkai when he went all dangerous and determined, and it looked like Sanzo couldn't either, though he tried. Gojyo really wanted to see what Hakkai would be like full youkai, but Hakkai wouldn't go for it....

Sanzo wouldn't let Gojyo claim his ass, at least not this early. Hakkai doing it would be like fucking by proxy as well as enjoyable to watch and a way of warming up the cold iron priest.

Hakkai had his fly open, which nearly had them on equal footing where clothing was concerned. Sanzo still wore his gloves and rings as well as his pants and socks, and it felt odd. He always put the gloves on after his shirt. But like hell he'd show his discomfort.

At that or at the way Hakkai pressed against him, nuzzling and nipping at his neck. It felt uncomfortably good, but.... "Why are you taking the scenic route?"

"I like to. If you need more reason, tell yourself that I prefer to relax my partner more for a smoother ride."

"You're making fun of me."

"A little, maybe." Hakkai's good-natured smile looked genuine. "I don't know what you're used to, but I'm not a barbarian. If I thought you would tolerate it, I would give you a good massage first."

Sanzo couldn't imagine dragging this out so long. "No way."

Gojyo made a frustrated sound. "You two are killing me!" Still fully dressed, he sat in a chair with his feet propped up on the table and an avid look on his face. Given how tight his pants currently looked, he couldn't possibly be comfortable.

Annoyed at being Gojyo's entertainment, even though he'd agreed to it, Sanzo snapped, "Will you be getting off tonight?"

"I don't want to come too fast. If I get off during the warm-up, I might not be good to go again in enough time. Can't take the risk. I'm not as young as I used to be, and I want to come during the actual fucking. And you're a moron for turning down a Hakkai massage."

"I'll do without."

"A shame," Hakkai murmured against the side of Sanzo's neck.

Hakkai stroked Sanzo with his hands, lips, and whole body, distracting the hell out of him. It felt so good that it almost hurt. He was accustomed to a brisk, efficient version of that touch taking pain away, but this time it teased, lingered, and left him tingling and shivering. With this encouragement, his treacherous flesh developed a mind of its own, wanting more. Unsurprising, since Hakkai spoiled it more than Sanzo did. Despite the blowjob, it became aroused again.

When he felt the edge of the bed behind his legs, Sanzo had a choice to make. He let himself fall onto the bed.

"C'mon, you could have hooked Hakkai with your legs so he fell with you," Gojyo said, smirking as usual. "That could have been fun."

"I don't have your years of experience as a slut," Sanzo answered, annoyed. "You could always take my place here. I didn't ask you for advice."

"Nah, you're fine. Really fine."

Somehow Hakkai had gotten Sanzo's jeans and socks off during that exchange, and Sanzo had no idea how that had happened. Then again, Hakkai stripped him somewhat to get to his major injuries too, so maybe the practice helped. Hakkai had seen him nearly naked many times before, so this should be nothing now. Somehow it didn't feel like nothing. Sanzo shivered from the chill in the room. Perhaps sensing Sanzo's discomfort, damn him, Hakkai took his own pants off and lay down at Sanzo's side. Some people looked unthreatening and ridiculous naked, but Hakkai looked more imposing with his hard body, scars, and slightly mismatched looking right eye. The narrowness of the bed forced them to be partially on top of one another, tangled body to body, sharing heat.

Hakkai stroked places that shouldn't have caused any excitement but in ways that made Sanzo want to melt. Hakkai knew his body too well. An advantage and disadvantage of taking your healer to bed, it seemed. Unable to help himself, given the situation, Sanzo touched him back. Tangled together like this, lost in what seemed to almost be full-body touching, Sanzo couldn't keep track of everything Hakkai did and couldn't see Hakkai's hands.

Sanzo felt a faintly burning ache that abruptly and unexpectedly turned into an intense, deep pleasure. Somewhere nearby Gojyo made a strangled-sounding noise.

"Are you all right, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, his voice soft and deep.

"You have something up my ass. How am I supposed to feel?" Sanzo answered, while Gojyo laughed and said, "Sneaky, ain't he?"

Whatever it was, Hakkai twisted it inside him, and he couldn't help writhing and gasping in reaction. Fingers probably. If Sanzo had expected them, he would have tensed up. It was much too late for that now.

Hakkai said, "I would have preferred an answer that let me know whether you want more."

Sanzo wouldn't beg for anything. He refused. It annoyed him enough that he couldn't seem to stop himself from occasionally writhing or making small sounds.

"It's supposed to feel good," Hakkai said. "You shouldn't fight it."

"It's... fine."

Gojyo snorted. "That's Sanzo-speak for 'Bring on the main event already.'"

"I concur," Hakkai said.

Sanzo briefly bit his lip as Hakkai's fingers withdrew, telling himself that he didn't miss them at all, then asked, "How are you going to distract and misdirect me this time?" He would not watch Gojyo putting the condom and lubricant on Hakkai's hard cock. It inspired too many mixed reactions.

"No distractions."

Sanzo's heart, stupid thing, sped up. He slowed it through sheer will.

Gojyo kissed Hakkai, then said, "I'd give you some sugar too, but you said you don't believe in it."

Annoyed, Sanzo didn't dignify that with a response. Besides, he had Hakkai lightly caressing the insides of his thighs, parting his legs more and positioning him. It was uncomfortable and disquieting but exciting at the same time. Gojyo moved around the bed to crouch near Sanzo's head, no doubt to watch.

"It's a shame you can't watch yourself," Gojyo said, visible to Sanzo only as a jawline and wave of red hair now. "It's some show."

"That's stupid." He couldn't help exhaling suddenly at the feel of Hakkai pushing into him.

"He didn't distract you. I did. Bitching seems to relax you."

For now Hakkai rocked into Sanzo, and Sanzo rocked with him, lost in a sensation he couldn't even describe, although he could tell that his body wanted more immediately. Even through the feeling of urgency, there was something... relaxing in this. It didn't hurt. In fact, it felt incredible, not that Sanzo would say anything.

He closed his eyes and coasted on the slowly speeding up thrusts. Without sight, he had a better idea of where the touches were even aside from the fucking and the rubbing of Hakkai's body along his. Hakkai stroked Sanzo's arms, mostly where the gloves covered, while Gojyo moved in a similar rhythm, stroking himself probably, and sometimes touched the side of Sanzo's face. Right now, he could separate their identities better through feel and scent, even with the heavy smell of sex on them and in the air.

Hakkai's thrusts became more insistent, ragged. "Sanzo...." There was something wave-like in the way Hakkai came then.

Gojyo gasped out Hakkai's name, then jerked Sanzo to a finish and... kissed his forehead. Sanzo doubted that he would have had the guts to do that if his eyes had been open, watching. It ached a bit when Hakkai pulled out and rested close at his side, but he felt too relaxed to care as much as he should.

Panting, they all three cooled down for a bit. Despite his best efforts, Sanzo dozed off.

Goku knew he should go to the other room but curiosity made him use the key to the room the others stayed in. He could hear gasps, groans, and creaking, but he needed to see. At least the sounds probably covered the noise of the door opening.

Goku knew some things about sex. He'd seen animals doing it, but not people. He suspected that at least half of what Gojyo had to say about sex was bullshit.

He hadn't expected Sanzo and Hakkai to be facing each other, but it made sense. Sanzo didn't like to put his back to anyone and he sure as hell wouldn't willingly go to his knees. Goku couldn't figure out what Gojyo was up to, but Gojyo moved along with them. Sanzo sometimes made little enjoyment sounds.

The noises, the movements, gave Goku a strange feeling in his gut. It might be a good one. He couldn't tell. He still didn't see himself doing any of those things yet, but he understood a bit better.

Goku quietly closed the door and went to the other room. When Sanzo couldn't take being so close to Gojyo and Hakkai, he'd probably come here.

"Out cold?" Gojyo whispered.

"It would seem so," Hakkai whispered. Sanzo looked peaceful in exhausted sleep.

The sex had certainly been something. He hoped they could convince Sanzo to do it again sometime.

Resting his head against the side of the bed, Gojyo had a very sated expression on his face. "You fucked him to life."

Hakkai shook his head but understood what Gojyo meant. Sanzo currently had a healthy flush to his pale skin. He'd already noticed the look of near-serenity Sanzo wore.

"Did you get the feeling that the kind of sex he's used to isn't the happy, fun kind where everybody gets off?" Gojyo asked.

"Yes." Sanzo's surprised reactions to enjoying it suggested to Hakkai that his past experience had been one of coercion. They had to amend that.

"You're keeping me awake, and I'm lying in a large wet spot," Sanzo said suddenly. "I'm out of here."

Hakkai hadn't expected Sanzo to stay long, though he'd hoped that Sanzo might sleep a while, so he said nothing. Gojyo, more optimistic or trying to needle Sanzo, said, "You don't have to take off."

"Tch." Sanzo got up and quickly dressed, pointedly ignoring the looks they gave him. Hakkai couldn't help watching him and enjoying it, while Gojyo had an appreciative smile on his face that Sanzo would usually smack off if he deigned to notice it. Sanzo just as quickly left without a word.

"Do you think he'll freak out or repress?" Gojyo asked. "Or freak out and then repress?"

"Hard to say. He didn't seem upset or angry."

"Yeah, and that worries me."

"I hope this wasn't a mistake."

"Too late now. Whatever will be, will be, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. You are one sexy beast."

Sanzo ached, but his body felt good too. He hadn't realized how tense his shoulders had been until they'd just relaxed now. The sex had been pleasurable, done well, so he could better understand how some people turned into total idiots over it.

They'd told him that they wanted him to feel good and kept that promise.

From what he could tell, they would want to do this again, and he had to decide whether he would go along with it. It depended on how they treated him the next time they saw him. If he felt that they were condescending to him that was the end. He would show them the mistake of their ways, by violence if necessary, and never let them lay so much as a single erotic finger on him again.

They better show him respect.

If they respected him as they should, he might go along again if the mood hit him. Perhaps a little indulgence on his own terms now and then would prevent his body from making demands at less opportune times.

But now wouldn't be a good time to decide anyway, not while he still buzzed from what they'd done to him and couldn't get this stupid little smile off his face.

Sticky, sweaty, marked with their scent, he needed a bath. A long soak might do him good.

When he went into his room to get his last clean clothes, Goku bounced up off one of the beds. "Sanzo...."

He didn't look forward to this. How could he explain anything to Goku when he barely made sense of it himself?

He hated when people asked him questions he didn't have answers to, something he got a lot of as a Sanzo. He'd taken to brusquely brushing people off when they asked him things because it annoyed the shit out of him when other monks pretended to wisdom while ignoring a question by turning it back on the questioner. Bunch of fakers.

Of course, nobody in their group should explain sex to Goku. Sanzo knew he had a jaundiced view, Gojyo would say all kinds of shit, and Hakkai... somehow Sanzo didn't think that a man whose first lover was his sister and who took a thousand lives in her name should explain sex and love.

"I think I understand now," Goku said, which scared the hell out of Sanzo worse than a lot of questions would have.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. When I want that myself, I want you to be my first!"

Oh. Fuck.

Sanzo must have had some look on his face, because Goku suddenly took on a thoughtful expression and said, "Okay, maybe you wouldn't want me when I don't know anything, so I'd go to someone else to get that over with and then come to you."

A man couldn't have a heart attack in his early 20s, could he? "Like hell you will!"

Goku brightened. "You will be my first time? That's great." He bounced over, quickly kissed Sanzo on the lips, and went to the doorway. "Thanks, Sanzo! I'll give you some time right now. I know you like that. I left the gold card on the bed." Then he left the room and went down the hallway at what sounded like a happy, energetic run. A happy, energetic run by a herd of elephants.

Like hell Sanzo would chase after him. Like hell Sanzo knew where to even start untangling what Goku had just decided. Like hell Sanzo could get himself to move or speak at the moment.

What the hell had he opened himself up to?

Damn, he needed a cigarette.

Goku couldn't stop smiling. He'd timed it all perfectly.

You had to be so careful when you asked Sanzo for things. You had to phrase it just right and maybe lead Sanzo to where you wanted him to go. Then, once you got his agreement, you had to run like hell to give him space and make sure you missed his grumbling and chain-smoking. Once the grumbling and chain-smoking stopped and Sanzo had a few hours, he usually accepted whatever he'd agreed to.

Goku only used this method for the really important stuff he wanted. It would suck if it stopped working because he'd overused it.

Sanzo's lips had parted a bit when Goku had kissed him. They didn't feel as thin as they so often looked. When Sanzo had walked in he'd looked more relaxed and had a tiny smile on his face, so Gojyo and Hakkai must have treated him well.

Considering what Gojyo was like, by the time Goku was ready to give himself to Sanzo Sanzo should be really experienced and good at sex. Goku probably wouldn't be able to talk Sanzo into giving him the gold card every time, so he'd have to think of things to do with himself during those times aside from eating.

But Gojyo and Hakkai better keep treating Sanzo right.

"Hunh," Gojyo said.

"What?"

"Goku just ran down the hall glowing. No, I don't mean glowing like that, I mean like a happy glow. That was too fast for even the monk to nail him, so it can't be that. Besides, I don't think Sanzo will be able to get it up again for a while."

Hakkai raised an eyebrow. His hair had gone so tousled and wild that he only had one eye visible. "You're very smug."

"We're smug, and we deserve to be. If Goku came out of their room that happy, Sanzo can't be in a snit."

Hakkai smiled a little. "That's true." His smile abruptly turned more sultry. "This bed is a wreck. I'm afraid that we'll have to share the other one."

Ah, stamina. Having a full-youkai partner had many advantages. "Ready to go again already?" Unfortunately.... "I'm not quite there yet."

"The beds are narrow. We would have to lie almost on top of one another. I'm sure that you'll eventually find it inspiring."

"I didn't say I'd never get there. Feeling frisky?" Gojyo could understand that. Watching Hakkai fuck Sanzo had been very, very hot, so actually being the one doing it had to be a kick.

Hakkai sat back on the war-torn bed a bit, in display. "Isn't it obvious?" He sounded a bit dangerous, and his nakedness left no doubt about his level of friskiness.

Oh yeah. If having Sanzo produced this kind of effect on Hakkai, they would have to have Sanzo more often. "I get top. You topped Sanzo tonight."

"Let's see how things work out, shall we?" It almost sounded like a purr.

It put all the right shivers down Gojyo's spine. If they'd also satisfied Sanzo so well that he'd want to continue with them, the future would be bright indeed.

The tub hadn't been at all relaxing while he'd had "Goku kissed me, Goku fucking kissed me" running through his head. The little monkey had also decided that Sanzo had agreed to take his virginity, but the kiss was more immediate. If Goku hadn't started wanting sex by now, at the age of about 518, Sanzo might be dead by the time Goku got a sex drive.

That would not be a sad thing. Aside from the part about being dead.

Hadn't Sanzo done enough for the monkey by freeing him from his prison, clothing him, feeding his excessive appetite, and trying not to kill him over the years? Now he had to fuck him too? No good deed went unpunished.

Goku was just too damned young. Not in years, but in mental and physical age. He was still a kid. Even if Sanzo felt the inclination to do something to a kid, which he didn't, Sanzo wouldn't.

Thus, he didn't have a long soak. Too much distraction. Sanzo merely cleaned himself, then returned to the room. Goku was sitting on the other bed, which he appreciated. Best to get this said before the misunderstanding could fester.

"I won't do this with you," Sanzo said.

His cheerful expression didn't fade. "I know. I'm not ready now."

Sanzo distrusted that easy agreement. "Exactly."

"That'll change."

Goku was using logic on him. He hated that. What could you say to "That'll change"? That it won't? Because Goku would be ready one day, which would make a liar of Sanzo. If Sanzo wouldn't give him what he wanted at that time, Goku had already said that he'd go to someone else to get the virginity over with. It had sounded more like "anyone else." There would be no affection there, just some stranger with a cock. Goku might be that... practical, but Sanzo could not be. Nobody messed with Sanzo's monkey, so that could not be allowed to happen. Which brought them back to Sanzo... deflowering him.

Who the hell had come up with that term anyway?

Maybe Goku would fall in love with someone who would do it. Which would take him away from Sanzo.

Which brought them back to Sanzo doing the devirginizing.

And people wondered why he settled arguments with the paper fan.

Maybe doing this confrontation now was a bad idea. Perhaps they could let it sit for a few years.

On to another topic. "You kissed me."

"I didn't do it in public."

"I can't have you throwing yourself at me."

"Do they get to kiss you?"

No need to ask who "they" were. "No."

Goku had a little tricky light in his eyes that Sanzo didn't trust. "Okay. I won't throw myself at you again."

No matter what might be going through the little monkey's head, if he tried something Sanzo would fan the shit out of him. "Now I'm going to sleep. It's been a long night."

"Good night."

They slept in separate beds. To Sanzo's great relief, they were still in separate beds in the morning.

Goku didn't like agreeing to no kisses because he'd liked the kiss. It had been warm and an excuse to get closer. Plus, Sanzo's lips felt nice. But if Sanzo didn't like it, he wouldn't do it.

But maybe he could eventually change Sanzo's mind on liking it. Things changed. It was something to work toward.

Besides, Sanzo was nearly twitching now. He must have had too much of everything tonight--too many people pushing him on too many things--while Goku wanted him to be relaxed and happy. Goku would have to watch Gojyo and Hakkai around Sanzo tomorrow.

Waking up alone in bed, without being crowded by anyone, had been good. Aside from the slight ache in his ass, Sanzo felt well, less tense, even despite the stress of Goku's anticipated sexual maturity. He was accustomed to something hurting every morning anyway.

Goku sprawled on his back in the bed, snoring. He'd looked much younger when Sanzo had freed him a few years ago. It seemed to be a great change in such a little time.

Time passed. Sanzo's master would have said something about the natural cycle and leaves, and Sanzo would answer that he was welcome to participate in the natural cycle by raking the leaves himself instead of leaving it to some poor unfortunate he'd no doubt fished out of the river just to use as slave labor.

It gave Sanzo some peace to know that he'd be a cranky, cynical bastard even if the youkai hadn't slaughtered his master. This was him, not what they'd made.

Although he'd probably be less violent if he and his master had been left to live their lives.

Hell. It had happened and couldn't be undone. He was who he was. Maybe he was meant to be like this. His master would no doubt say something like that, although he would also say that Sanzo should smile more.

"I smell eggs cooking," Sanzo said.

Goku instantly awoke. "Yeah! They smell great!" He grinned at Sanzo and went off to dress.

At the table downstairs it could have been any morning. Goku shoveled food into his mouth, occasionally commenting on how good everything was, while Sanzo ate more sedately and smoked. Goku approved when he ordered a second helping of the eggs.

When Gojyo and Hakkai came down, both of them looking somewhat sleepless, Gojyo gave Sanzo's shoulder a quick, possessive grab, but he always did that kind of shit anyway. Gojyo and Hakkai continued the "any morning" theme around him, though Sanzo could swear that their looks at him were somewhat warmer but not heated and inappropriate.

"Do you feel well this morning, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

"Yeah. I think we can make an early start."

"Slave driver," Gojyo growled.

"You didn't have to keep yourselves up all night," Sanzo answered.

"You could have kept up with us."

Comfortable, Sanzo made his decision and said, "Maybe another time." He'd enjoyed the sex, and the others hadn't let it make them stupid about him, so why not?

Gojyo and Hakkai smiled. Even Goku looked oddly pleased. "We'll keep that in mind," Hakkai said.

Besides, it could be another source of discipline. If they displeased Sanzo badly enough, he could always cut them off. Content, Sanzo hid his smile behind his teacup.

***********************THE END**********************

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