Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Positive Balance ❯ Anecdote ( Chapter 3 )

Hi guys! I have something important to say. I'm really sorry `bout the story's basis on the anime. It was my fault I didn't do enough research before writing this fic so now I have a dilemma of not being entirely based on the real story 500 years ago in the original manga. And my timeline is getting screwed up because of Reload and Requiem! If I try to re-align it here, I would not be spontaneous! Waaaaaaaah!! I had based this story only as I understood the plot in the anime! What am I to do? (*thinks for a while, depressed and low.) Well, since this is a self-insertion fic, and since in the anime series, only certain parts of the whole story where shown, I guess my story can pass. So we'll make this story based on the scenes shown in the first series only (w/out Reload and Requiem and the manga, and also the Gaiden) and some I've added to make Meika fit in the story!!! I promise that when I've finished this and have the time, I will compile “Cynical Equilibrium” and “Positive Balance” and merge them into one story, editing the story to the true storyline. (But still with Meika and Nataku as the main protagonists, and it will still be a self-insertion fic.) I'm really really sorry. I feel like a bad writer, writing at the spur of the moment without thinking and researching properly. (“Ang inutil ko! I feel so stupid right now!”) *sigh* But I still hope I did justice to Minekura-sama's masterpiece. Thank you all for the support! Please review!

 

DISCLAIMER: Gensoumaden Saiyuki was created by Kazuya Minekura (*my new Muse and idol, second to Yuu Watase..hehe..) and the original author of Journey to the West is Author Wu (*bows and hails Author Wu). I am only a lowly, depressed writer with an advancing writer's block. I own nothing aside from my clothes, my computer, my books, and lots of other stuff that doesn't concern this anime and all its entailing enterprise.

 

CHAPTER 3: ANECDOTE

 

Doors creaking. Then, a blinding light. Freedom. I have freedom at last! I must tell Nataku. I ran to the pond of lilies in the Goddess of Mercy's quarters. And there he was. My brother. “Niichan! It's me!” I said, ecstatic, as I held his hand. “I'm free!” But no response came from him, as if he doesn't hear me. He was there looking straight at me, as I knelt in front of him as he was seated in the chair in front of the pond, but he wasn't looking at me or seeing I was there. I tried to see what he was looking at, and saw the pink lotuses. But that wasn't what he was really seeing. “Niichan,” I sobbed as the tears came. “Why do you have to be like this when I finally have the happiness I deserve?” I touch his cheek. An endless stare. Then, nothing…Nothing…

 

x*X*x

 

As soon as the party to the West was settled in for the night and I have showed them their rooms, I prepared dinner. 500 years ago, they have sacrificed their immortal lives for Nataku's cause. Ever since then, I had wanted to repay them for their sacrifice. But back then, I was a prisoner myself, and I was powerless to help them without alarming Heaven. I didn't help because I did not want to, but because I didn't want to live without Nataku with me. Now, at this time, can the only thing I can offer them as payment is food and lodging? “Excuse me.” I said as I knocked on the door. “Dinner's ready.” The door suddenly opened and Goku ran past me so quick I almost didn't see him. “Yey! Food!” He was definitely hungry. “Oi, stupid monkey! Have some decency, yo.” Gojyo called as he and Hakkai and Sanzo walked out. Maybe dinner was a good start to express my gratitude. I had learned from a human friend in this village how to cook. I had originally planned to learn to serve Jiji-sensei in payment of the lodging and introducing me to the village as his niece. Now, the skill has served a greater purpose.

 

x*X*x

 

I ran away. I did not know where I was going, but I had to get away. Behind me, Kanze's voice and Jiroushin's pleading calling me to return to the pond, echoed in my ears. But I did not want to go back. I can't look at my brother. I was told 500 years ago that he lost his soul, but now is the only time I have actually seen him in that condition since he was with Kanze and I couldn't teleport, and the only time I realized that I have truly lost him. My tears streamed down my face. Why is it that I can never have true happiness? I thought that if he saw me when I have finally attained my most desired freedom, he would return. But it was not so. I cried and cried as I ran. Soon, I realized where my feet were taking me. I was at the hidden garden, the place where I often went to escape my room before I was given freedom. But I wasn't at the usual cherry tree I played at. I was in the field of flowers. I slumped down in the middle of the meadow and cried. There wasn't anyone there, and even if there was, what would they care? I cried for my brother, for my friends, for the 500 years of grief and pain and my mundane existence. Then, a presence came. “You should not cry on the flowers.” I turned around, and saw a man with shackles on both wrists, a golden eye for the left, and a blue one for the right. A heretic. Like me, like Nataku, like Goku. He was Homura. Half-god, half-mortal, I have heard he was given the title of Fighting God in place of Nataku. I stared at him. What is he actually saying to me? “Flowers lose their sweetness and beauty when rained with tears.” He continued. “They should make people happy.” He took a red blossom and offered it to me. Hesitantly, I took the flower and said a small thanks. “But,” I said, drying the tears on my face, “if they make people happy, isn't it that they take away the pain and the sorrow so that only happiness is left?” He smiled and sat down next to me. “Perhaps, you are right. Demo, kamawanai.” A light breeze came and blew gently on us. “You shouldn't cry for your brother. He was the one who chose his fate.” He said after a short silence. “How did—“ “I have known for a long time, Meika-chan, that you have the power that Heaven fears you have.” I was shocked. “I have so many times seen you at the cherry tree in this garden.” If he had known, then, it was obvious that he did not tell anyone because I am now finally free. “Why didn't you tell anyone?” I asked, my curiosity peaked with this mysterious man. “Because we have the same fate. We are both heretics, prisoners. I understand your thirst for freedom. And,” he looked me straight in the eye. “You can destroy the ideals that have made us prisoners.” I must have looked confused to him for he laughed out loud and continued. “Someday you'll understand.” He said, picking up another flower. “For now, I'll be your friend. If you ever miss your brother, go here in the garden and I'll be here to talk to you.” He gave me the flower, and somehow, that single flower made half the pain disappear. It's amazing how in one day, I have lost one brother and gained another. But never would I imagine I would soon lose both of them.

 

x*X*x

 

One of my most loved “privileges” of being a goddess is that eating, drinking, and other mortal necessities are not a necessity to live. But my most appreciated privilege is that I do not have to sleep. Every time I sleep, I have nightmares of my brother. And when Homura died, another chapter was added to that nightmare. Since I'm here on the mortal land, I do not sleep because if I have another one of my fits, unlike in Heaven where I have a sound-proof room, I would wake up the whole village and there would be inquiries to my identity. So, when everyone sleeps, I stay up, read, dwell in my memories and think. I prefer the last the most and that is where I found myself tonight as I sat on the end of the porch. I enjoyed the tranquility of the night. But soon, incautious footsteps shattered the stillness. I prepared to strike the intruder, but I soon realized to whom the aura belonged to. “Good evening Sanzo.” I said without looking at the yellow-haired monk. “Couldn't sleep?” I asked. “Hn.” A little short of a conversation entrance, but I can do with that. “How `bout you?” He asked me. “I don't need to sleep. Besides,--“ I stopped, contemplating if I should tell him. I chose the negative. “Never mind.” I said with a smile. “There's something you're not telling us.” He said, as he lit a cigarette. Its smoke circled up into the tattered wood ceiling of the porch. I silently hoped it would not ignite itself. “Heaven would not even think of female gods in the army ranks.” I smiled at his intelligent deduction of my actions. “There is something.” A cricket sang on. “Haven't you notice that there is one common thing between all the Toushin Taishi of Heaven?” I began. When he did not reply, I continued. “Nataku, Homura, Me, and Goku.” I looked at him to emphasize my approaching statement. “We have the same golden eyes.” “Eyes?” “Yes. Homura is half-human so he has only one golden eye. As for me and Nataku, we're half-youkai. Goku,” I paused. “he is much more special. That's why many are after him.” I remember Homura's desire to take him, my father's willingness to have him killed, and some of the gods who knows his true power. “We are heretics.” The name of our kind is something I still find uncomfortable to take on as a name. “If you mix a youkai or a human with a god, the offspring are called heretics, as youkai with humans are called taboo. People like us are used by Heaven to kill, fight, and do their bidding. They as gods have no right to kill, so we who are called the defiled are given that task to restrain and destroy anyone who would go against Heaven's authority.” Half-truthfully, I have finally told him the fate of the defiled, the one thing that had caused them their immortality. At least, I hadn't said the real truth: We are heretics. Heaven hates us because they fear us. Despite being hated for who we are, they use us to kill for them, for their ideals, for their pleasure. “No one else is left to be their Taishi. Nataku,” I paused, looking for the right word to describe my brother's condition. “Nataku is lost in his own world. Homura has died. Goku is with you to travel to the West. So,” I sighed. “They have no choice. I am the only one left.” “Who says you don't have a choice?” I was surprised by his answer. “I do have a choice. But,” I bowed down my head. “It's the only way to somehow bring back my brother's soul and serve the greater purpose I have as a mission in life.” He took out another cigarette and attempted to light it. But the lighter chose that moment not to bring out fire. I created a flame in my hands and offered it to Sanzo. His initial reluctance gave away and lighted his cigarette. “You don't have to do something you don't want to do. Life is about making your own choices. No one should choose for you.” He said, as a new smoke circled around him. I smiled at the yellow-haired monk. He turned around and started to walk towards his room. “Meika, your brother would want you to live your own life, not his.” Slowly, tears fell from eyes. “Thank you, Sanzo.” I managed to say. “Hn.” Then he went inside, the door clicking shut behind him. “Thank you Konzen. You are true to your promise to help me, even if it took you 500 long years.”

 

x*X*x

 

"Oniichan!" I yelled as I waved my arm to get my brother's attention. Nataku was standing on a cliff. Much to my horror, he fell into the abyss below the cliff. "Oniichan!" I screamed as I jumped after him.

This was what I dreamt before. Then when Homura died, after I went after Nataku, what happens next in my nightmare leaves me distressed.

As soon as I jump after Nataku, I try to reach him, but he is falling too fast for me to hold his hand. Then the darkness eats him. I give up, deciding to follow him down in the endless abyss as well. Then, a hand grabs me on the arm from above me and throws me up. I fly high, but not high enough to get out of the deep hole, but only to land on a piece of rock 50 meters below the cliff. When I turn to see who helped me, I saw Homura, falling as fast as Nataku was. “Homura!” I cried out but the last thing I saw on his face was a sad smile, and he was gone too. I cried. But, his effort to save me should not be in vain. And so, I'm caught between the dilemma of jumping after them, which is easier, or climb to the top, something I find difficult to do.

Then, I usually wake up. But after that night, when Sanzo told me to choose for myself, everything changed.

I decide to climb up. I take one last look below the abyss, and mouthed a “thank you and goodbye” as I went on the difficult ascend. As I'm near the top, I slowly feel my hands losing their grip, the blood draining from my veins, and the oxygen running out from my lungs. I suddenly lose my grip, and I almost felt death overcoming me when, out of nowhere, two hands grab mine and pulls me up above the cliff and into the sunshine. I have never seen such a beautiful panorama in my entire existence.

Life really is about making your own choices. And I have made mine.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Siberian_angel: (*depressed) Thank you for reading, even if it seems like no one is reading this..*sigh…(*tries to sLash wrists) Goodbye cruel world!

Meika: (freezes Siberian with her power) Kaa-san! Don't do that! You must live!

Nataku: (comes in looking regal *heart*) Meika's right. You have to finish and tell our side of the story. The fate of the defiled depends on you now!

Siberian: (unfreezes) But..(sobs) I feel like a bad writer! (cries out loud)

Meika: I'm sure nobody out there feels that way about you! Right niichan?

Nataku: Yeah (turns to the audience) Do you think she's bad? (*crickets) *sigh* Please review and keep us alive! Our fates depend on you too!

(A jeep comes in with the party to the West)

Sanzo: Oi, stop the gloomy act and keep writing.

Goku: Yeah! Your story's fun!

Siberian: (*brightens) Really??

Gojyo: If you want, you can stop writing and come with me, neechan. *winks

Siberian: (disgusted) Eww! I'd rather die! (tries to kill herself again)

Hakkai: (stops Siberian) Don't bother with Gojyo, Junami-chan. Continue writing. *smiles (that smile can kill y'know :D)

Sanzo: (turns to Gojyo and points the gun) You moron! You made her worse.

Gojyo: I was just joking!

Goku: Horny water monster!

Gojyo: Stupid Monkey!

Sanzo: Urusai! (*shots a few warning ones)

Hakkai: Now, now…

Nataku and Meika: Stop it you guys!

Siberian: And so, as they fight in the background of this silly fictional innuendo (*gunshots), I promise to write a more fluid story after this! Ja mata ne! *kiss

 

***Demo=but

Kamawanai=it doesn't matter/ make a diffrence