Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Tainted Love ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four

"Hakkai! Gojyo! Wait up!"

As Goku hurried towards his friends, Hakkai said, "Goku? What are you doing here? I thought you were taking a nap."

Grinning, the boy replied, "I wanted to be sure that I wasn't just dreaming it. Is it true what I heard, that we're going to have sukiyaki?"

A groan issued from Gojyo's lips. "You can always count on food to wake up a snoring saru."

"Yes, Goku, we are going to have sukiyaki," Hakkai confirmed with a sweet smile on his face. "Now, why don't you run along and go back to Sanzo? Gojyo and I still have a lot of shopping to do."

The two men continued on their way, but Goku continued to tag along, still with that silly grin on his face.

Before Gojyo could dismiss the boy with a threat of bodily harm, Hakkai spoke up once more with a hint of mild annoyance, "Now, now, Goku! You don't have to come along with us. Why don't you get lost?"

"Why?" Goku asked in mock innocence. "Am I bothering you two?"

"Sanzo gave us a full month to just simply rest and relax in this town. I intend to make the most of his kindness and generosity."

"Naaaaah!" the boy declared with a knowing shake of his head. "He's just waiting for you two to get laid. After all, you can't do it on the road, and the next town is three days away, maybe longer in the snow."

"GOKU!" Gojyo whirled to glare at the saru, his cheeks as red as his hair. Never in his lifetime did he expect to hear something so scandalous coming from Goku's mouth.

"Well, it's true!" Goku exclaimed defensively. "All you do is hold hands and exchange small kisses like a couple of old men. There's not even a single hint of a tongue. Worse, you still sleep in separate rooms. What gives?"

"Goku, have you been spying on us? Shame on you!" Hakkai gently chided the boy. He then looked lovingly at Gojyo. "Every great romance shouldn't be rushed. Right now, I'm just happy knowing that…" Hakkai lifted the redhead's hand to his lips and kissed the fingertips.

"But you guys are moving too slow!" Goku complained. "Oi, ero kappa! Are you all right with all this mushy stuff? You're the one who's always quick with the girls! Why don't you just pounce Hakkai and…"

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Hakkai and Gojyo blinked in surprise, seeing Sanzo dragging away a dazed Goku. "Sorry about this! Damned monkey got away from me!" He then scolded angrily, "Kono bakazaru! Of course Gojyo couldn't do the pouncing! He's the one being wooed like a woman!"

When they were gone, Gojyo asked quietly, "Is that true? Am I going to be the woman in this relationship?"

Hakkai readily noticed the redhead's apprehension. "Only if you choose to be. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Not until you're ready."

"Uh…but what if I'll never be ready?"

"Then, I'll take Goku's suggestion and pounce you. I may be patient, but I do have my limits." He added reassuringly, "Don't worry though. I promise I'll be very gentle."

Gojyo smiled wanly. "I know you will, Hakkai." Unhappily, he thought, But I'm more afraid that I'll be the one who'll end up hurting you.

~~~~~~~~~~

They had been in the town for nearly half a month when a fierce snowstorm blew in from the north, forcing everyone to stay indoors. The bad weather matched Gojyo's somber mood, as he silently drank in the inn's empty bar.

Hakkai had been true to his word, remaining a patient gentleman, not once forcing his attentions upon him. But he knew his friend was growing unhappy with each day that passed.

Pressing the glass of mulled wine to his forehead, Gojyo muttered forlorn, "I can't do this!"

"Are you back to that again? I never figured you to be a coward."

"Why don't you leave me in peace, kuso hage? I need to think."

Sanzo, however, pulled the chair back and, with a sweep of his robes, sat down before him.

"The problem with you is that you've been thinking too much, and I don't think your puny brain could stand the overload," the monk said with a pout. "Whatever it is that's stopping you from doing what your heart wants is unimportant."

"Unimportant?" Gojyo exclaimed, not believing what he just heard the monk say. "How can you say it's unimportant when you don't even know?!"

"You love Hakkai, don't you?" Sanzo strongly reminded him. "Tell me. What could be more important than him?"

"Yes, I love him. That's why I can't do this. But…"

"But? Damn, I hate that word! It's either you will or you won't. It's obvious you want to be with him tonight. Can't think of anything better for either of you two to do during a chilly snowstorm. Hakkai's in our room. Go to him now."

"Is that an order, Sanzo-sama?"

"Do you want me to make it a command?" Sanzo asked in turn, cocking an eyebrow up. "I'd much rather that you went there of your own free will."

Gojyo sighed in surrender. There was no point in arguing with the monk. Standing, he took one last swig of wine and trudged miserably towards the door.

Before he went outside, Sanzo said behind him, "You're doing the right thing, Gojyo. Believe me, you won't have any regrets."

"I hope you're right, Sanzo," was Gojyo's sad reply. "I do hope you're right."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hakkai was glaring down at the map he had laid down on the table, but instead of focusing on possible routes they could take to the West, his traitorous mind regaled him with possible routes his lips and hands could take on the lithe form of a certain exotic half-breed.

With a groan, Hakkai pounded his fists on his aching temples. "Yare yare! At this rate, I won't get any work done!"

There was a soft knock on the door, and he said, "Sanzo, you can come in! The door's open!" As the door squeaked open, he added good-naturedly, "It's not like you to knock, Sanzo."

"That's because I'm not Sanzo," came the quiet reply.

It surprised Hakkai to see Gojyo leaning with his back against the door. The click of the lock sounded like a gunshot, as the half-breed pushed away from the door and slowly approached until he was standing right before him.

At first, the two couldn't find any words to say. Then, swallowing hard, Gojyo's trembling fingers went up to the zipper of his jacket.

Hakkai swiftly caught that hand, sweaty and cold in his grasp. "Are you sure about this, Gojyo?"

The redhead nodded in the affirmation. "I want to make love with you, Hakkai…no matter what happens."

Hakkai found that last statement curious, but he was too overcome with desire for the now willing young man before him. "Let me have the honor," he said, as his fingers found the zipper.

Slowly, Hakkai pulled the zipper down and peeled the jacket off Gojyo's shoulders, letting it pool to the floor at their feet. Next were those tight jeans. As the redhead kicked the boots off his feet, Hakkai unbuttoned the jeans and took his time sliding it down those long, nicely muscled legs. It did not surprise Hakkai to see that Gojyo had no underwear on, and was already in a semi-erect state. Noticing the green-eyed youth's perusal, he yanked his undershirt down over his crotch, blushing hotly.

"Don't do that," Hakkai said chidingly, with a cluck of his tongue.

Obediently, Gojyo let go of the hem of his shirt, just as Hakkai pulled him down onto his lap.

"You are so like a blushing bride, Gojyo," Hakkai chuckled, delighted by the dots of pink that colored the half-breed's cheeks.

"I'm not a woman!" Gojyo was about to retort, but a bruising mouth captured his lips. A tongue pushed inside, and the redhead met it with his own, tasting the sweetness that was Hakkai. He knew Hakkai could also taste the bittersweet essence of wine and tobacco in his mouth.

There was a brush of cold air upon his skin, and Gojyo realized that Hakkai had pushed up his undershirt. He moaned as fingertips plucked and pinched his nipples into taut points.

Nuzzling at the redhead's shoulders, Hakkai's lips and teeth marked the spot with a wine red love bite. "So you like that, huh?"

"Hakkai…" Gojyo gasped as Hakkai let his shirt fall, only to grab it at his neck and stretch it down to bare his chest. He let out a soft whimper as the older man seized a nipple between his lips and suckled on it with gusto. With his left arm clinging tightly to Hakkai's back, Gojyo thrust his breast onto that greedy mouth, while his right hand freed Hakkai's stiff member prodding at his buttock from within his trousers.

"Oh no you don't!" Hakkai laughed, feeling the redhead gasp his arousal. "I want to come inside you."

Lifting a startled Gojyo in his arms, Hakkai carried him over to the bed and laid him down on the clean sheets.

"Keep me aroused while I prepare myself for you," Hakkai muttered huskily. "Let me see you play with yourself.

For a moment, Gojyo hesitated at that familiar command. But this was Hakkai, certainly not…

A dark, hulking shadow, however, seemed to blur that handsome face.

Gojyo shook his head to dispel that wraith, and was relieved to see Hakkai smiling down at him. Letting his crimson tresses tumble and fan out in waves on the pillow, Gojyo coyly pulled up his shirt, his right hand squeezing the mounds of his chest, fingertips teasing his swollen nipples. His left hand reached down to twirl a few copper strands around his fingers before gripping his arousal tightly at the base to keep it hard.

With such a sensuous display, it took all of Hakkai's control not to hurry, as he removed his own clothing. Finally stripped of all encumbrances, Hakkai leaned over the younger man in breathless eagerness.

"Turn over, Gojyo," he said, his voice strained. "I don't think I can hold myself any longer, and I don't want to hurt you. This position would be more comfortable for you."

No, it won't! a terrified voice cried out in Gojyo's mind. Whether it be on my knees or on my back, it will hurt!

"Gojyo?" Hakkai asked again.

Not wanting to disappoint his lover, Gojyo hushed that voice and wordlessly got to his hands and knees. Behind him, he could hear the snap of a cap and the wet sounds of lubricant being slathered onto a hard rod. Then, he felt Hakkai cover his suddenly chilled body with his own.

Feeling the man beneath him stiffen, Hakkai gently whispered, "Don't be afraid. I swear I won't hurt you."

But Gojyo's mind was screaming, No! Stop! Don't do this to me! Not even Hakkai's sweet kisses and gentle caresses could ease his growing terror.

Just as those eager hands finally tore his shirt, the redhead felt a large, blunt head nudge at his entrance. Hakkai was whispering soothing words in his ear, but all he could hear was that tiny voice inside his head.

Don't fight it, the voice instructed him, or else it'll tear you apart. You know what to do, remember? Take a deep breath, relax and let it enter you. It won't hurt as much.

It was that advice that Gojyo heeded. As Hakkai pushed carefully inside, he willed himself to relax completely so that the man above him slid effortlessly inside his body. Except for the uncomfortable fullness, there was no pain. That, and the pricking, burning sensation at his left upper back, just below his shoulder. He waited expectantly for those rhythmic thrusts to begin.

Instead, there was a shocked gasp, and Hakkai suddenly pulled out of him with a painful jerk.

"Hakkai, what…" Gojyo began to ask, twisting his body to look at his lover. What he saw caused his heart to suddenly fill with dread.

Hakkai's face was a mask of stone as he gazed down at the half-breed. But his emerald eyes were sharp with anger, like a honed blade ready to inflict a fatal wound.

"I'm not your first," Hakkai said coldly. "There were others who came before me. Seven men…."

Gojyo's heart started pounding like a hammer, as his lover started to say names one by one. "Muroi…Go…Cheun…Phaksee…Takeo…Nagai…" A heavy hand pushed him back down on the bed in order to get another look at his back. "Jinnei…he was the first."

Gojyo's eyes fell upon the mirror hanging on the wall. He was stunned to see that red heart tattoo adorning his shoulder once more. Inside that heart, those names that Hakkai had recited to him were emblazoned in glowing scarlet kanji.

Already in a state of fear and panic, Gojyo desperately seized Hakkai's hand. "Hakkai, it's not what you think! Please let me explain!"

"Were you thinking of adding me to your list?" Hakkai's voice was devoid of emotion. "I don't see Banri's name here. Didn't he get to fuck you? Or was he smart enough to discover early on that you only intended to include him in your list of conquests?"

"Hakkai, for heaven's sake, please listen to me!"

Gojyo gasped in shock when Hakkai slapped his hand away. Glaring at him in fury, Hakkai quickly put on his clothes and stormed out of the room, slamming the door with a deafening bang. He could hear Hakkai's angry footsteps out in the hallway.

When he could no longer hear those footsteps, with his trembling bruised hand, Gojyo reached for the covers to hide his nakedness. Not only that, he felt so damned cold, and it wasn't because of the freezing chill from the snowstorm outside. The cold originated from deep within him, a cold that would not be dissipated unless he allowed…the flames…to….

No! I won't! I can't!

To stop his teeth from chattering, Gojyo bit down on the hem of the blanket, only then discovering that icy tears were pouring down his cheeks. Reaching behind him, he raked his fingernails over the hated tattoo, but he saw through the mirror that the accursed thing would not come off. And it won't come off, now that it knew that he had given his heart to someone.

Squeezing his eyes shut and clapping his hands over his ears, Gojyo shuddered as those hated words from the past returned to him.

"You may have burned me to ashes, but for as long as my mark remains on your skin, you belong only to us. You will never be loved, Sha Gojyo. NEVER!"

"Hakkai…" Gojyo cried in anguish. "What's to become of us now?"

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