Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Teaching Goku ❯ I Missed You ( Chapter 24 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: I Missed You

Author: Quirk othe Trade


C&CC: on site or email at quirkothetrade@yahoo.com

Category: fan fiction

Genre: yaoi, romance, angst, AUish

Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuuki. That is the privilege of Minekura Sensei, those who published her work and so on and so forth. This is simply a lowly offering of a fan girl at the temple of Minekura.

Warnings: Confusion, bad language, lack of smuttiness. Spelling mistakes are mine.

A/N: Sorry for the wait, and enjoy. Thank y'all very much for the reviews and love, and I'm sorry for not responding here to them.


Synopsis: Fall-out, and falling back in.

+++


"I'm sorry, but we don't have any singles left," the attendant said cheerfully. Gojyo could tell just by the throbbing vein in the side of Sanzo’s face that the blond wanted to shoot her. "However, we do have group rooms with four beds, attached shower and water closet. Would that be satisfactory?"

"That would be lovely," Hakkai agreed. His smile was strained, but only one of them could have noticed that.

A week of traveling had been left awkward as all get out between the four of them. Every one of them was pissy; even Goku was pissy. Gojyo knew that was mostly his fault but he couldn’t help it. He was still thinking everything over.

The key was placed on the counter. "Enjoy your stay!"

(Fuu~ck.)
+++

Gojyo sat down on a stack of wooden crates around the side of the inn and pulled out his cigarettes. Hakkai had taken the monkey with him to do laundry. That was good because otherwise Gojyo would have stayed right there. He didn't trust Sanzo to be alone with his own charge anymore.

He smoked for a while, until he'd made it through about half a pack. After that, he slipped a fresh, unlit cylinder between his lips and leaned back against the sturdy wall, looking up at the patches of blue dotted through the town's skyline. He just sat there and thought, thoughts going round in circles like dogs chasing their tails. He didn't like thinking but there wasn't any other way he was going to fix this mess they were in. The red head figured if he could just figure out how to act normal again, then everything else would return to normal. But there was only the maelstrom of his thoughts and memories flailing about his mind.

There was a distant chattering that threatened to break his attempt at getting his thought processes in order, and succeeded when it went silent. He stopped paying attention to his thoughts and listened, straining for that sound that had become familiar background.

"Hey, Hakkai?"

"Yes, Goku?"

(Shit, I didn't realize it was them.) The unlit cig almost went tumbling from his mouth. (Retreat, retreat, retreat...) Snagging the dangling cigarette, he started to slid off the crate.

"I know I pissed Gojyo off, but I think I really, really awesomely pissed him off. How do I get him past angry?"

The red head slid back into his seat. (Do I trust these two to talk?)

"Ah- maybe if you give him a little time..."

"But it's been a week already! I hate it when Gojyo thinks, all he does is go away and brood. And I miss him."

"Well, Gojyo gets that way sometimes. The best thing to do is just wait him out."

"I hate it when he goes so far away. I told him so, too, but he's still doing it, that bastard." Something fell noisily to the ground.

"If he were really angry then I doubt he'd touch you at all, Goku." Hakkai sounded mildly disapproving. "He’s still hugging and kissing you, right? And sleeping in the same bed. Give Gojyo some time. He doesn't always adapt easily to change, you know." A sudden clatter from some door blocked out any speech. "...What did you say, Goku? I didn't hear you."

Gojyo strained his ears and still didn't hear anything.

"What?"

"It's nothing! He'd probably kill me for talking about it anyway."
+++

The red head returned early, his pockets full of cash from cards and smelling like a bar.

Goku threw a fit, a hand clamped down over his poor nose. "Damn it, you stink like- like- Ugh! Cigarettes and alcohol and- cheap perfume! I bet you let women hang around you, didn't you? Go take a bath!"

Gojyo lifted the one hand that had the bag of manjuu. "Here-"

His lover pushed on his chest with his free hand, shoving him toward the bath. Unprepared, Gojyo stumbled backwards. "Now! Now, now, now!"

It only took another shove to land Gojyo in the bath, the door slamming shut behind him. He sighed and stared down at the paper sack in his grip. The hurt look in Goku's eyes hadn't been lost on him but he was surprised that sensitive nose hadn't picked up the smell of the food. Turning, he opened the door a crack. "Hakkai, can you bring me my bag?"

"Yes." The older brunet rose from his seat on his bed and fetched his friend's bag, bringing it to the bathroom door. "Here."

"Thanks- here, take this." He exchanged bags and shut the door, not really wanting Hakkai to see what he couldn't hide on his face. So he showered, shampooing twice and checking if he should shave again. The shower wand was mobile, attached to the wall with a sliding bracket. He was grateful; standing to shower was easier with his lengthy legs and matching body.

He dried off, put on some clothes, and draped the towel over his shoulders to catch any random drops. It was his last set of clothing, old jeans and a cotton, button-down shirt; the rest had gone with the two brunets to be washed. Grabbing his boots and bag, he left the soiled clothing in the basket and exited the bathroom.

Purposely he didn’t look at the other occupants of the room, just went to the bed he’d been given near the door and dropped his stuff on the floor quietly. When he turned to sit on the bed, hands draping the towel over his head and beginning to rub, he saw Goku sitting on his own bed up against the wall, the bag in his lap, swallowing down the last bite of a steamed bun. Their eyes met, and the longing in those gold eyes socked him in the gut, stirred something inadvertently frozen inside him. Gojyo wanted nothing more than to go over there and kiss the monkey senseless, but one thought stayed him.

((Who did I really do it with last?))

His issues wasn’t with the what but the who. It wasn’t about being forced into the receiving end, but about who he had received it from. He had figured that out over his last hand of cards.

Goku had been imprisoned for centuries for shit he didn’t remember doing. What if it had to do with the teisai taisen? What if he was triggering something in his lover that was letting the sage inside him leak through? Was Goku safe to be around him?

Rubbing his hair, he turned his eyes to the floor to keep from looking at the younger man again.
+++

Dinner was take-out because the inn didn’t serve food. Pizza, udon, and beef bowls crowded the table of their room. The confusion made it almost seem normal. Gojyo waited until after their evening meal was finished to speak.

“The Teisai Taisen- can he get out without the monkey’s limiter coming off?” Gojyo’s cigarette was already lit, the first breath of smoke exhaled slowly. Across from him, Hakkai was pouring up the after dinner tea. Well, he had been before the red head spoke. Sanzo, in the process of unfolding his newspaper, had paused as well, and he couldn’t really see Goku from where the monkey was sitting beside him at the table.

“The sage hasn’t gotten out. What the hell are you talking about?” Sanzo finished folding the paper in his hands slowly, then set it down and pulled out his cigarettes.

Those huge eyes- he could feel them on him and Gojyo silently swore to himself that they were going to burn straight through him with their intensity. “Almost every time Goku and I do it, his eyes change to his.”

“I said the sage hasn’t gotten out. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Back at the onsen place, Goku did me. Can you make it a guarantee that his other self isn’t leaking through? ’Cause I have to tell you, Sanzo Sama, I’m not okay with that.” (I don’t want to lose Goku like that.)

The expressions on Hakkai and the priest’s face was almost worth the sore ass that had plagued him for three days. But it wasn’t the blond who answered him.

“He’s not bleeding through.” Goku’s voice was firm and quiet. “And even if he wanted to touch you, I wouldn’t let him, because… I’m selfish like that. Jealous like that.” His chair scrapped the floor as he rose to his feet and closed the short distance between them. “Because you’re mine.”

There was a sharp breath from across the table that sounded like Hakkai, but Gojyo couldn’t be sure. All his attention had turned to his lover, to the undeniably possessive tone and words. One hand settled on his right shoulder while the other cupped his scarred cheek, the calluses on the slim fingers and square palm scratching slightly. “I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going to dump you for anyone else. The only reason for Sanzo and Hakkai was that it was Sanzo and Hakkai. And I’m not going to share with either of them. Neither of us can handle it.”

He couldn’t help the harsh exhale of breath as he stared up into those gold eyes. “You can’t-”

“I don’t want to hear it. All I want is for you to say ‘Yes, Goku’ and then kiss me the way you haven’t been. And- if all that bull shit you just spouted is why I’ve been denied lately, I’m going to be pissed.” The hand on his shoulder moved up, up his neck to fist in the hair at his nape. “I told you I hate it when you get all moody and shit and go away inside your head. You owe me big time.”

“I’m serious, monkey.”

Goku leaned in close, his lips hovering above the other’s. “I missed you.”

At those words, something twisted in the red head’s chest as that familiar mouth slanted over his own. His eyes fell shut as his hand rose to settle at the brunet’s waist, a finger sliding into the belt loop there. The lust that usually dominated them was there but didn’t flare up, moving into something sweeter and more affectionate. The gold eyed man pulled back first and waited until Gojyo’s eyes opened and focused once again on him. “I missed you. I MISSED you.”

“…Sorry.”

Goku’s fingers tightened in his hair. “I’m the one who did you in the bath. Not him. I’m the one who sucked you, I’m the one who prepped you and I’m the one who came in. I’m the one who moved in you over and over again. I’m the one who did it all. I’m the one who made you come, and I’m the one who came in you. Me. Not him. Don’t forget that, not one little bit.”

(I’m going to drown in his eyes.) “Now who’s being perverted?”

“You are.” The brunet moved, sliding onto his lap and into his arms. Suddenly the only thing registering was Goku, Goku in his arms, the green scent under the bathing products making him dizzy. His survival instinct suddenly kicked in, and he glanced up at the two across the table expecting death. Hakkai had gone back to pouring tea. Sanzo blinked slowly, lighter and cigarette in hand, then lit up. “Drama queens.”

“You’re not shooting off that gun of yours.”

“That can be changed.”

“Ah- no thanks. So the sage really isn’t breaking out?”

“I told you, he’s not!” Goku’s voice was muffled against his shoulder.

“And I told you he’s not. Shut up, already.” The blonde priest mumbled something else, which Gojyo chose to ignore, and buried himself in his newspaper.

Hakkai set the first cup of tea in front of Sanzo. “Settle down now. A little time was all Gojyo needed, ne?”

The brunet in Gojyo’s lap just tightened his grip.

“So mean, Gojyo, to keep poor Goku worrying like that.” said the green eyed man. “Don’t you think you should apologize to him?”

Sanzo swung a finger at Hakkai without looking up. “Don’t get them started when we’re all in the same room.”

“Leave him out of it. It’s not like he’s asking for something strange.” The kappa watched as Hakkai set a glass of green tea in front of him. It felt like he couldn’t move, not with Goku on his lap and Sanzo in the same room a few feet away. (Shit. I’m still waiting for Droopy Eyes to start shooting.) “Oi, monkey, you want- Goku?”

Turning his head to look at Goku’s face, tilting his shoulder, he saw closed lids and a sleeping expression. “He fell asleep.”

“Then put him to bed.” The priest pulled the cigarette from his mouth and reached for his tea.

“Still no gun?”

“That can be changed.”

“No thanks.”

Hakkai laughed. He sounded genuinely amused. “You can apologize in the morning. Put Goku to bed for now. He must be pretty tired from all the worrying he did this past week.”

(Hakkai, master of hidden barbs, my ass.) Reaffirming his grip on Goku’s body, he scooted off his chair and stood. The monkey’s grip didn’t change at all. “Yes, yes, I’m going.”

He didn’t bother going to Goku’s bed; instead he went straight to his own away from the table and closest to the door. Grateful the brunet was barefoot, he got him into bed easily enough, the covers pulled back, but then Goku wouldn’t let go of his neck. His fingers and hands and arms- nope, not moving an inch. “Come on, monkey, it’s time for bed. Let go and rest back on the pillow.”

Nothing; there wasn’t even the slightest twitch.

Sighing, the red head determined it was his own bedtime as well, un-brushed teeth be damned. Goku would throw a fit in the morning, but he was the one who fell asleep first. Gojyo slid into the bed as he inched his lover over.

“You, too, Gojyo?” Hakkai’s voice was soft from behind him as he arranged himself on his side.

“The monkey won’t let go, so yeah.” Said monkey was slowly curling into his body. “’Night, Hakkai.”
+++

Gojyo woke gradually, painfully. He was curled around his lover so completely he didn’t think he’d moved at all while they slept. It made him stiff and sore, and his bladder was demanding to be relieved. “Toilet…”

Moving hurt as he untwisted himself from Goku and tucked his pillow against the brunet’s chest so the other would have something to latch onto while the red head was gone. The ploy worked but Goku scowled in his sleep. Not laughing out loud was a chore as he stumbled to the bathroom blindly. Waning moonlight from the window didn’t reach across the entirety of the room’s floor to be of any help.

When he returned, he was much more coherent and made his way back to bed silently. There was a funny smell in the air; looking around at the other beds gave him the answer.

Sanzo and Hakkai were asleep in the same bed, everything above the covers still in tact except for the long gauntlets the blond usually wore. They were back to back , something that was awkward in the narrowness of a bed meant for one. The kappa wanted to laugh but settled for a smirk instead. The priest slept with his sidearm and tended to shoot first on principle.

Pausing to take off his shirt, he folded it haphazardly and draped it over the deflated bulge of his bag. Goku wiggled in his sleep as if he heard the quiet sounds and latched onto his lover as soon as he slipped under the bedclothes, abandoning the pillow. (Miss me, huh?)

The younger man was very warm to the touch; Gojyo himself gave off a lot of body heat so he wondered how Goku could stand being that close to him. Finally, when Goku stopped moving, Gojyo made himself comfortable as well, one hand lifting to thread through his lover’s hair.

Minutes later, the brunet made a face then slowly opened his eyes. “My mouth tastes gross…”

“That’s because you fell asleep before brushing your teeth.” He whispered back, amused. One hand unlatched from the kappa to rub sleepy eyes. “Toilet…”

“Go on, then.” Gojyo pulled the covers back as the brunet tried to get up and leave the bed. Finally managing it after the second try, he stumbled to the bathroom much as the other one had, one hand still rubbing at his eyes. A few minutes later he returned smelling of toothpaste and soap, and Gojyo, dozing, smiled as he heard the shucking of jeans. The bed dipped under the brunet’s weight as he asked, “You asleep?”

“Almost.” He didn’t bother to open his eyes, just let Goku reattach himself and wiggle close again.

“I missed you.” Soft lips fluttered against the skin of the kappa’s chest. “You went into your head where I couldn’t follow you, and I missed you. You didn’t even order me around like you said you would.”

Gojyo opened his eyes. Shadows filled the corners by the door. (Am I ready for this discussion?)

“I really missed you.” Calloused fingers trailed against Gojyo’s side. “I’m not sharing you. I’m not leaving you. I don’t care if you never teach me anything new about sex ever again. I don’t care if I don’t get to be inside you ever again. Just… don’t leave me alone like that again. I really, really missed you.”

“…I kept thinking, what if by having sex we were letting the sage out? Even a little. Your eyes change almost every time we do it. You aren’t Goku when the sage comes out to kick the shit out of us. Then I thought, who did I do it with? Because even if it’s your body, he’s not you.” There was a long pause, and the soft sound of breath moving was the only thing they heard. “My ass was sore for a long time, you know.”

“You didn’t push out.”

“Huh?”

“Like when you’re taking a dump? Your muscles are pushing out and everything. Only you’re not letting shit out, you’re letting something in.”

“What?” The disbelief was loud and clear, along with an edge of- of something hysterical that didn’t know if it was going to laugh or not.

“The granny that gave me the pamphlet told me, only she used different words. She said it would help in case I couldn’t relax or we didn’t use enough lube or-”

Gojyo gagged the monkey with one hand to shut off the flow of too much information. “Holy shit. Goku…”

He dragged the hand away from his mouth. “What? It helps, sometimes. Though mostly you’re really good about-”

The kappa gagged him again. “I don’t know what’s worse, the granny giving you sex information or you passing it onto me. Don’t say anything more, okay?” A warm tongue sliding across his palm in retaliation caused him to jerk his hand away.

“Who’s the prude, here?” Goku pressed up against Gojyo with his body, hands making the most of the red head’s nude torso. “Or is it that you don’t want other people telling me stuff about sex?”

“It has to do with realizing anything going up THERE is BIG.” Grabbing the closest knee and lifting it, Gojyo slid his own knee up high between his lover’s thighs and pressed. “Much as I like what you’re doing, we’re sharing a room with His Greatness and Hakkai. Don’t start something that can’t be finished.”

“But they’re asleep! And they’ve already done stuff, too. And my balls are heavy, since we haven’t been having any sex at all.”

(Heavy balls- he hasn’t- ) He stifled a moan. It still came out as a low whine. “You could have handled it yourself.”

“No way.” His fingers found a familiar sensitive spot on the kappa’s back and rubbed. “I want to be doing it with you.”

“…The next time we have our own room, I’m taking you to bed and keeping you there.” Gojyo slid his hands under Goku’s shirt, thumbed the flat nipples to tiny points after massaging all the spots that made his lover squirm. “I’ll make sure to make you come until you’re drained and dry.”

The brunet wiggled against his knee and thigh, panting slightly. “Pervert.”

“You don’t mind it when it counts.” Pressing his mouth against Goku’s, Gojyo won the argument by default.
+++

TBC...