Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter IV ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.

Author's Note: Rating for future chapters.

Shuichi heard the door slam behind him as he left Tohma's office and didn't care that the secretary at the end of the hall was watching him in shock or that he was pushing people out of the way as he ran, tears streaming down his face. He forgot about the elevator, running down three flights of steps and nearly tripping twice until he got to the floor Bad Luck had been rehearsing on. He slowed to a walk, not bothering to wipe away the tears. He entered the studio, his eyes fixed on the backpack he'd left on a chair. He didn't hear Hiro or Suguru ask what was wrong, but he reacted when Hiro grabbed his wrist to get his attention. He yelped, tugging on his wrist and looking up at Hiro.

"Shuichi, what's wrong?" Hiro didn't drop his wrist, giving it a slight squeeze to make Shuichi stop struggling. His eyes narrowed as Shuichi hissed but stopped moving his arm. The wrist in his hand seemed wrong, too thin, and Hiro brought up his other hand to push back Shuichi's sleeve.

"No, Hiro let me go!" Shuichi tugged on his arm again, reaching for his bag with his free hand, a new well of tears forming. He managed to grab his bag and turned back to Hiro, continuing to tug at his arm, refusing to allow Hiro to get his sleeve up. Hiro refused to let go and Shuichi panicked as his friend got hold of his sleeve and started to lift it. He swung his free hand in desperation, hitting Hiro in the side with the heavy bag and taking advantage of Hiro's loosened grip to flee the room, running blindly for the stairs, his vision blurred and his breath hitching in his lungs.

He went more slowly this time, and managed to make it down to the ground floor without mishap. He surged through the door to the stairwell, not caring if someone was on the other side or not and hurried across the lobby. He fought as the security guard came near to him. The man spoke calmly enough but Shuichi was too upset to comprehend the words, only their intent. He swung his bag, the only thing he had left, knowing what little strength he possessed would be useless. Two more guards joined the fray and he was pushed to the ground, one confiscating his bag, another grabbing his arm and twisting it up behind his back to subdue him. He lay quietly for a moment, breathing ragged and tears flowing freely. When the guards gently helped him up and started to lead him back to the elevator he didn't fight anymore.

When the elevator doors opened, Hiro was there, demanding to know why they had Shuichi restrained, where they were taking him. Shuichi dimly heard someone mention Seguchi Tohma's orders and he kept his head down, letting his hair hide his face as the elevator doors closed, leaving a stunned and confused Hiro in the lobby. They rose steadily, one of the guards using a key on his belt to override the controls and take them straight up without stopping. He was led to a conference room and left alone inside, his bag set on the table as the guards took up places just outside. He pulled out a chair and sank into it, resting his crossed arms on the table to pillow his head.

When next the door opened, he wasn't sure how much time had passed. He had been sitting, silently crying, trying not to think, to avoid the pain that every thought, every movement brought him. He turned his head, watching as Tohma stepped into the room, dismissing the guards at the door. Shuichi watched him approach, lifting his head from his arms and sitting back in the chair. Tohma stopped next to him, one hand rising and gently brushing away the tears from his cheek.

"Let me take you home, Shuichi. You need to eat and rest."

Shuichi didn't argue, too tired and emotionally exhausted to think of protesting. He allowed himself to be led back to the elevator and up to Tohma's floor. He paused when they reached it and saw Hiro arguing with Tohma's secretary. Shuichi hung back and watched as Tohma took care of everything, took care of him. He dimly heard Tohma and Hiro talking about him, but his mind didn't want to focus on what was being said, his entire goal being not to fall asleep where he stood. Moments passed, and soon Tohma returned, placing a gentle hand at his elbow and guiding him slowly back to the elevator and out of the building into a waiting car.

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Shuichi woke in the dark, the red glow from the clock across the room the only light. He sat up slowly in the bed, knowing he was home in his own apartment and struggling to remember how he got there. His cheeks started to heat as memory returned and he was glad the light was off, even if no one was there to see. Seguchi Tohma had brought him home, put him to bed, told him not to worry about coming in tomorrow if he didn't feel up to it, but to please call and check in. Shuichi brought his hand up to cover his face. He had kissed Tohma, and Yuki had seen. He lay back down; burying his face in his pillow and pulling the blankets over his head, crying himself back to sleep.

When he woke again a sliver of sunlight was peeking through a small gap in the curtain over his head, falling over the end of the bed and Shuichi glanced at the clock. He'd slept until eight in the morning, something he hadn't done in months, and he sighed, dropping his head back on the pillow. His exhaustion must have caught up with him finally, but he had to admit he felt better than he had in a long time. He took a moment to stretch, pulling back with a small hiss when a muscle in his back protested as he stretched a bit too far. He climbed out of bed, making his way to the bathroom and quickly showering before moving back to the main room of the small apartment and choosing his clothes from the closet, setting his towel on a hook to dry.

He was just pulling his shirt over his head when his cell phone rang and he crossed the room, checking the caller ID before picking up.

"Morning, Hiro, I'll be there soon --"

"Shuichi, what the hell is going on? Yesterday you were either crying or acting like the walking dead, and this morning, you're fine? Let me come over, Shuichi, Yuki can't mind if I come take you for coffee."

Shuichi paused. He couldn't put Hiro off anymore. He remembered what had happened the day before, his breakdown, the scuffle with Hiro, the guards, letting Tohma bring him home, the kiss. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before he spoke, silently praying to whoever might be listening for strength.

"Hiro, I'm not at Yuki's... you got a pen?"

After giving Hiro his new address and promising to explain everything when he arrived, Shuichi hung up and went to the kitchen, vaguely remembering bringing home some coffee at some point in the last month. By the time Hiro buzzed Shuichi's intercom from the front door, the coffee was almost done and Shuichi had made his bed and straightened up a bit. He let Hiro in when the knock came at the door, pouring the coffee and apologizing for not having anything else to serve, his nerves making him talk constantly about nothing.

"Shuichi, stop. Sit down and explain this." Hiro waited at the small table for Shuichi to sit down across from him. "Now, whose apartment is this? Did Yuki throw you out again?"

Shuichi shook his head. "This is my place, Hiro. I left Yuki." His voice was soft and he wouldn't lift his eyes from the mug of coffee in front of him.

"You left him? When?"

"Six weeks ago."

Hiro was silent for a moment, and then nodded, as though that explained everything. "That's why your songs have been so depressing. But it doesn't explain why you were crying last night."

Shuichi started to fidget, trying to decide what to tell Hiro, finally deciding there was no point trying to hide anything, since Hiro would just make him tell eventually. "When I was talking with Seguchi-san... He was being so nice to me, Hiro. I don't know why, he's never really been nice, just polite or -- well, kind of mean." Shuichi looked up briefly as Hiro made a small noise, but looked back down at his hands when he didn't continue. "He asked me when I left Yuki, like he already knew. He said he didn't, he'd just guessed. I started crying, and he just let me cry on his shoulder. Then -- then he kissed me and I kissed him back and then Yuki--"

Hiro took a deep breath before speaking. "Yuki saw, and you panicked. No wonder Seguchi-san had security detain you, Shuichi. He was probably afraid you'd run out into traffic and get killed!"

Shuichi just nodded. He couldn't deny that he hadn't been thinking of anything other than getting home. He certainly might have walked into traffic without realizing what he was doing. Just like he'd been starving himself without thinking about it, just like he'd thought he'd wanted to end it all and couldn't go through with it.

Hiro watched Shuichi for a moment, not wanting to press things too far. Shuichi had been more forthcoming this morning than he had in the past two months, but he had a feeling there were still things he wasn't being told. Shuichi hadn't said anything about why he was so thin, and he hadn't mentioned exactly why Seguchi had wanted to talk with him. Hiro couldn't say why but something about the feel of Shuichi's wrist in his hand the day before and the way Seguchi had acted like he was fragile made him suspicious. He stood, draining the last of the coffee in his cup and rinsing it in the sink. "Ok, Shuichi, let's go. I'll buy you breakfast, then I'm taking you grocery shopping. I know you're not the best cook, but you need to have some food in the house, you can't live on take-out alone."

Shuichi got up, rinsed out his mug and unplugged the coffee maker, thanking whatever spirits were watching out for him that Hiro was letting things be for now. Walking out the door, he grabbed his wallet and prepared to spend the day with his best friend doing his best not to think about Yuki Eiri or Seguchi Tohma. As he turned to lock it, he heard Hiro shocked voice behind him.

"Wait a minute... You kissed Seguchi Tohma?"

Shuichi sighed. It seemed he wasn't done explaining yet.