Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Break Through ❯ Blood: Part II ( Chapter 29 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or any anime/manga mentioned within this story.
For mature readers only. I would like to give a shout out to Iname for her very fast proof reading and insightful advice on this this chapter

Well it took me a little longer than I promised (looks around in shame), but with good reason, I practically re-wrote the whole thing so in essence this chapter is a lot (and I mean a lot) longer than what it was originally supposed to be… a chapter in itself! I think that’s a good thing, ne? I won’t babble too much, so… Enjoy.

Also: writer’s block it’s a bitch!!!


Blood: Part II



After dinner, Yuki went back to his studio ‘to work,’ and Shuichi was left to ponder about the whole situation. Now that he’d cooled down and the initial lightheadedness went away, he could definitely see things more in depth. As happy as he had been, he could not help but feel a bit apprehensive. Things had gone well for him in the past, only to end up backfiring in the end. He’d thought he could wait for Yuki to open up, but as the days went by, his uneasiness grew. What happened just now was proof that Yuki resented him for something he didn’t do. And even if the blonde grouch said he was ok with it and didn’t care, Shuichi knew that some day–most likely soon–Yuki would mind, and maybe even leave him again. Shu was not prepared for that, he had waited so long, and now, he could not see himself without him. True, he didn’t know anything about the man he proclaimed to love more than life itself, but he so wanted to! And Yuki’s lack of interest to talk about anything other than trivial things was driving the pink haired singer mad!


Shuichi decided to give it another try-- and for the sake of his sanity-- he hoped Yuki was up to it. Slowly, he got up from where he sat on the floor, and went in search of his lover without any clear plan of what he would say, or how he would approach the subject. In the end, Shu knew he would do what he always did… follow his heart.

The blonde mangaka sat hunched by one of his tables, he seemed to be working very diligently, but as soon as Shuichi came in–even though he’d been careful not to make any noise–the blonde head snapped towards him.

“Hey…” Shuichi came in and sat on the couch casually. Yuki just watched him, but otherwise didn’t react in any way. “I thought we could… y’know, talk and stuff.” Shu began; he didn’t realize how nervous he was until those gold eyes deepened into his.

“About?” Yuki asked, sounding a bit annoyed. After the little spat before dinner, the elusive man had remained silent. It was killing Shuichi, he wanted to understand his feelings, he wanted a lot more than Yuki’s body, and he needed to make him see that.

“About us.” The singer blurted, “About our expectations from each other, about where we’re going from here--I know you at least care for me a little, so you can’t brush me off like you did before… I won’t let you.” Shuichi looked straight into the golden eyes of his lover, it was very difficult to-- given the way his love looked-- but he would not back down… not this time.

Yuki kept his cold eyes on the younger man, and then, without a word got up and left the room. Shuichi went after him quickly. “Are you running away again?!”

The mangaka turned sharply, his eyes had that malicious look to them. Shuichi stopped hesitant, then continued, he was determined to get an answer from Yuki, even if it made him upset. “I think its time for you to leave.” Yuki turned and modulated coldly, intimidating .

“I won’t, not until you tell me what’s on your mind.” Shuichi countered.

“You got what you came for, didn’t you? Now leave me the fuck alone before I decide never to see you again.” Yuki turned and kept walking towards the bedroom.

“You think it’s all about sex? How shallow are you Yuki? I could care less about sex! Is it so hard to open up, to tell me what’s on your mind? I want us to be together, but I don’t want to be in the dark!”

Yuki went straight to the window and lit a cigarette. Why things always had to get complicated? He’d thought Shuichi clingy and simple minded, but it turned out that the kid was a little more than he was ready to deal with… and yet, he wanted him. Hmph… I don’t want to be in the dark, you say… I am darkness, there’s nothing inside me but shadows.

“Yuki…” The singer whispered taking a step toward him; the mangaka could see the same determined eyes-- as the night he had come drunk and angry --. It reassured him somehow, but it also made him see that things will not be as easy this time; he won’t be able to intimidate his way out of this long overdue chat.

“It’s true I somewhat like you, but that doesn’t mean jack. If you want to be with me like you say, that’s fine, but it has to be on my terms.” Yuki replied, irritated.

Shuichi felt disconcerted, he could not blame Yuki for expecting so much. The blonde had actually never given him any indication that things would be like fairy tale from now on, but still, Shu had wished that he could melt that thick ice around Yuki’s heart… guess I’m not as good as I thought. Shuichi stood in place staring at the imposing figure of Uesugi Eiri, then sighed defeated.

“You’re right; I think it is time for me to go.” The pink haired man walked to the chair in the corner, and took his clothes. He had like wearing Yuki’s oversized jeans and play lovers for these past few days, but it was clear now that the dream had to come to an end, and he was to go back to reality now. He went to the bathroom to change, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to leave right now,” Yuki’s voice was toneless, but warm at the same time, “Stay until morning.” Shuichi could see something in his eyes, it wasn’t warmth, or love, but he could definitely see emotion in them.

“I don’t want to be a bother; I think I overstayed my welcome.” The singer said as nonchalantly as he could, but he sounded pathetic, like a whiny high school girl, who’s just been dumped.

“Listen…” Yuki ran a hand through his hair frustratingly. “I’m not saying that we’ll never talk, I’m just… there a lot of things I have to deal with first.” His face was altogether softer now. Shuichi was not one to doubt, or question, but he didn’t want to be taken for granted by him once again; he cared about this grouchy, stubborn and mysterious man way too much to just go with the flow. He wanted a real relationship, and by god he’ll get one even if he had to kidnap him, take him to a mad scientist and have him brainwashed! Shuichi turned and hugged Yuki so tight, he thought he heard his bones crack; Yuki put his hands on his Shu’s slender shoulders and pushed him away gently.

“Let’s not get carried away now, do you want to kill me?” The mangaka grouched and walked out of the room. Shuichi again felt apprehensive-- but only for a second–the mangaka popped his head back in.

“I’m going to get a beer, when I come back, those pants better be off.” The singer had to laugh at Yuki’s matter of fact face in spite of himself… I’m so simple minded, it’s not even funny. He thought taking the garment off…

They went to sleep shortly after Yuki had his beer. As it turned out, there was no sex;, only two bodies keeping each other warm in the cold night. Shuichi’s last thoughts, before he finally drifted into slumber, were filled with Yuki, and the road ahead of them.


XXX

The next morning, Yuki walked into his office building, and was surprised to find the lobby area empty. He’d called Onizuka earlier to let him know he was coming in. It had been three days since he and Shuichi shacked up at his apartment. And during that time, he’d accomplished nothing; He didn’t get any work done; didn’t talk to Shuichi about their ‘situation’-- Which he now regretted more than he could admit-- And no one but himself was to blame. There had been plenty of opportunities, even Shuichi had tried in more than one occasion to bring up the subject, to the point of almost leaving the night before, but he–like the stubborn moron that he was-- chose not to. Instead, he’d just spent all that time screwing, like a teenager in heat. Although, after their little ‘talk’ the night before, he felt less sure than ever about his feelings for the brat, he knew they ran deep, but just how deep? Yuki didn’t have the strength to contemplate that yet.

He could have just let him go and be done, but no, he had to stop him… am I that attached to you… or is it something else? He asked himself. The whole confused him and scared him at the same time.

The mangaka shook his head to clear it, what’s done is done, and he’ll have to deal with it later. Right now, it was time to return to the real world and face the music. His over stressed manager and his assistant had left him about a thousand messages, which he didn’t even bother to listen. He knew what they wanted, and he didn’t have to give to them. Mikka surprisingly had not called, which he didn’t know what to make of. As clingy as she was, this was very rare indeed. Still, not even this gave him the will to call and check on her… what would I say?

Shuichi’s phone had not done much better, he’d gotten calls from all over Japan and even from America it seemed.

The mangaka released a stressed sigh. “Damn, I’m going to have to postpone Angel Sanctuary!” he cursed himself for not having work on it, he’d really wanted to, but every time he tried, there came pink hair-kun to derail him–not that he had minded it at the time.

“I have to stop this!” Just thinking about Shuichi was enough to make him want to go back home. These pasts few days had been the happiest he could remember– although, he’ll be damned to ever tell a soul-- and even if the hyper singer had acted like a clingy girlfriend towards the end, he still wanted to be with him, feel his warmth, and hear his voice. It was not only the sex, but everything combined.

The memory of a recent conversation tugged warmly at his heart.

XXX Flashback XXX

“Ne Yuki… now that we’re in love and all, how are you planning to fight against me in Angel Sanctuary?”

Yuki fixed his eyes on the figure straddling him “Who said I’m in love with you?”

“You know what I mean,” Shuichi gave him that infectious smile of his.

“Oh. I’ll still fight you. I’m a cranky, cranky man, and I can find something to get angry about really fast.” Yuki replied, bringing Shuichi’s hips up and down on himself, rolling his eyes back from the unbearably pleasurable sensation.

“Well, I was thinking. How about, instead of fighting me, we somehow joined forces and helped each other unwillingly, you know like Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z.”

“Are you serious?!” Yuki couldn’t hide his shock; he let the slender hips go, and fixed his gaze on Shuichi’s face. One look at the younger man’s eyes told him that he was indeed serious. “That’s too played out. I want to do something different, like killing the hero and let evil prevail… it makes great grounds for a sequel." Yuki joked–but of course it didn’t sound like it.

“People don’t want to see that! Take it from a manga reader.” Shuichi insisted passionately… sex forgotten.

“Are you telling me how to do my job… boy?” Yuki took Shuichi off him, and sat him beside him on the floor.

“Yeah I am, and also, no body wants Kenshin to end. You’re crazy! It’s your best since Neon Genesis.”

Yuki opened his mouth shocked, not believing his ears. “Well, smart ass! If you know so much about manga, write a plot line, and I’ll prove to you that I can come up with something better.”

“And if you can’t?”

“Then I’ll illustrate your plot down to the last fly on the wall, and I’ll even give you full writing credits for it. Of course that will never happen because I’m that good” The mangaka smirked.


“YES!!” Shuichi jumped up, “You better not take it back you hear!” And again, they did what they did best...

XXX End of Flashback XXX

Yuki fought a hard on as he remembered what came after. The elevator doors opened, and again he was shocked to find the usually buzzing illustration department completely empty. The shocked blonde went from cubicle to cubicle looking for someone; anyone to tell him what the hell was going on. After a few minutes and the very obvious realization that the place was in fact empty, he wound up in Onizuka’s office–a place he’d never been to before-- To find the manager frantically looking for something.

“Onizuka! Where the hell is everybody?” The mangaka asked a little more concerned that he cared to show; with all his projects behind, having everyone taking the day off was a no go.



“Eiri-san, you’re here! I thought you’d be in later on, so I called for our weekly meeting early. I wanted to have it before you came in, so that I could give you a substantial report.” The man said noticing a relaxed air he’d never seen in his boss… probably his engagement. The older man thought, pushing up his glasses.

“I see, well since I’m here, I might as well take part… let’s go!” Yuki went out and towards the conference room.

“Of course!” Onizuka snapped dutifully, and ran after his boss, passing him, and walking fast in front of him. Yuki noticed the unusual act, but said nothing.

Once in the conference room, the tall blonde could see everyone scrambling to hide something, then returning quickly to their places; they bowed and waited for the imposing slave driver to begin the meeting. Yuki looked around his staff, and for the first time felt actually embarrassed that he didn’t have anything to talk about. He looked around the staff’s expectant faces.

“I’m late with Angel Sanctuary, I’m contemplating delaying it’s release until next year… but we’ll see,” He began with no preamble, then turned to Onizuka, “Go on with your meeting, I’ll just listen in.” And the imperious mangaka sat at his usual place at the head of the table, and crossed his arms waiting for the manager to begin.

“After your wedding Yuki-sama?” Makoto asked bowing, since the show, they had talked about nothing else. Onizuka gave the penciler a stern look that told the young artist he’d just got himself a yelling, but the younger man didn’t seem to mind, getting the scoop on his boss/idol activities was more important.

Being reminded of his foolish actions was not exactly the best way to start the day, Yuki knew he had to deal with that before anything else, but again, his cowardice made him run to his safe place, instead of going straight to Mikka and talk things out. He shifted his eyes to the staff and was not amazed to see them waiting expectantly for his answer.

“We’ll see…” He let out coldly and turned to Onizuka, urging him with his cold gaze to start the meeting.

X

Everyone noticed a difference in their boss. Although he wore the same commanding expression, there was something definitely different, he seemed more mellow… relaxed even. Onizuka noticed, the older employees noticed, and that’s why Makoto dared to ask the question in everybody’s mind. There had been bets, ever since the ‘Beauty and the Best’ got engaged years before-- and they were eight to two-- they would never wed.

Onizuka gave Makoto another look, and began with the sales rankings

Yuki was very surprised they ranked so high, given the fact that he’d been neglecting his work so much in these past months, and there had been a noticeable fall in the quality of his work. It made him realize how reliable his staff was. But before long, his interest in the meeting was forgotten, and his thoughts drifted back to Shuichi, and Mikka and the stupid commitment he announced on national TV. For the sake of his own sanity, he had to resolve the situation-- the sooner the better-- if only I wasn’t such a coward.

“Yuki-san!” Onizuka’s voice startled him. Yuki looked at him, and then at the others, they seemed to be waiting for him to reply to a question he didn’t hear. “What do you think?” The manager repeated.

“Yeah, great.” Yuki let out impassively, he could not let them know his heart was not here at the moment. Everyone regarded him strangely… just what the hell did I agree to?

“Yuki-sensei!” Makoto took the awkward moment to give their boss the thing they had scrambled to hide in a hurry. The penciler stood, looked around at everyone gathered, receiving nods from all around, he went to a cabinet from which he took a big box, and set it in front of the mangaka, then turning to Onizuka, the young man bowed, and waited for the manager to say his line.

“The staff, and myself wanted to congratulate you on your engagement Eiri-san. We took the liberty to have this made for you.” The manager nudged the box a bit towards the blonde man.

Yuki looked at it as if it were hazardous, not knowing what to think. It certainly was a shock that they even thought of doing something like this for him. He’d run this company with nothing short of an iron fist, often times preferring his staff to hate him and fear him.

Yuki looked at it for a full minute before turning to the manager.

“Thank you,” He said, then turned to the others, “Thank you all as well.” He kept his eyes cold; behind the sunglasses he wore. His face blank, not to give them any ideas, he was indeed deeply touched, but he could not let them know that… why? He had no idea.

A knock on the door broke the awkward moment, and Yuki couldn’t be more thankful for it. “Eiri-san, you have a visitor.” Ryouske, his assist came in to inform him.

“Who is it?” Yuki hoped that it was Shuichi, but he knew the little perv was most likely very busy at work.

“Seguchi-san.” His assistant replied, “Should I tell him to come at another time?”

“No, I’ll see him.” Yuki got up and went to his office promptly followed by Ryouske; the present was left forgotten in the exact spot it was placed. The staff looked at one another disappointed.


“I told you he’d get mad!” Shingo, one of the inkers yelled at Makoto –whose idea of the gift had been in the first place–as soon as the mangaka was out of the room

“Why are you blaming me, you forked up money too!” Yuki Eiri’s ‘self proclaimed’ number one fan yelled back.

“Both of you quiet! Eiri-san is not mad… he’s confused.” Onizuka smiled knowingly. Behind the impassive mask the man he had worked for years wore; he always saw the real man underneath. “He’ll come for it when he’s ready.”


XXX



Shuichi came into the studio early, expecting it to be buzzing with life. Yuki had kicked him out of the apartment early, telling him to get a life and get to work. The cheeky singer smirked mischievously remembering the night before, the cuddling had been so much better than all the sex they’d had… am I acting like a chick or what?

“Shuichi, you fucking bastard! Where the hell have you been?” Hiro came running and hugged him so tight that the singer thought his bones would snap. “I called you about a thousand times… do you even check your messages? I was so worried; I thought something happened to you… you were so drunk that night …” The long haired man yelled in a rush of almost unintelligible words.

The young singer could do nothing but smile at the motherly countenance of his best friend. In truth, not once had he thought about them in the three days he stayed with Yuki. He felt guilty now… but not sorry. “Say something man!” Hiro shook him violently.

“Ne, Hiro… ask me if something nice happened to me while I was gone.”

“What!?” Hiro yelled disbelievingly, did his friend hit himself on the head or something?

“Ask me if something nice happened to me while I was gone.” Shuichi repeated, actually believing Hiro didn’t hear.

“What’s wrong with you man!? I was so worried… we all were!” The guitarist was starting to get angry; he swore he wouldn’t, at least not until he heard his pink haired, air headed friend’s excuse, but Shuichi’s reaction was making him lose it fast.

“Ask me!” Shuichi insisted with that same stupid expression. Hiro rolled his eyes knowing that if he didn’t play along, they wouldn’t get anywhere.

“Did something nice happen to you while you were gone?” Again the longhaired man rolled his eyes.

“It’s a secret.” Shuichi chanted making a heart with his fingers, and turning a lovely shade of red. Hiro’s eyes went wide, then a smirk played on his face when he finally realized.

“Did you and Eiri-san made up?” Hiro’s eyes opened wide.

“Bing-bong!” Shu feigned to be flying.

“Holy shit… man, I’m so glad! Damn, we were so worried about you, we had no idea where you were, and even Tohma was starting to get scared. He was going to report you missing and all. Aren’t we dumb? We never thought to check in with Eiri-san.” Hiro exclaimed happily, he smiled at his friend and hugged him–at least someone had had it good. Since Seguchi Mika paid him a visit, Hiro had not been able to sleep. He’d decided to wait until things calmed, before talking to Tohma, he didn’t know what he’d say, but he could not risk being responsible for whatever that woman would do. The longhaired man pushed those thoughts aside and smiled at his friend again, determined to share this happy moment with him.

“You doubt my abilities to get back with my man?” Shu eyed Hiro cockily, putting his hands on his hips and raising his chest high.

“Let’s not even go there!” Hiro crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “So you guys straightened everything out?”

Shuichi’s expression changed to worry, “Not exactly, but we made great progress!” He cheered up again, giving his long time friend the thumbs up, “Anyways, where’s everyone?”

“Tohma went to see Eiri-san; Suguru is off, since we didn’t know when you’d turn up, Tohma cancelled all our gigs for the week, Ryuichi is shacked up with your brother-in-law, Noriko-san is taking care of her husband, and I’m here talking to your ugly face.” Hiro replied matter of fact.

“Well, you sure know what’s going on around you… so why is Seguchi going to see Yuki?” Shuichi asked a bit scared.

“You jealous?” Hiro smirked.

“Are you?”

“No,”

“Me neither, why should I be? It’s not like Yuki even wants your man back… so, what does Seguchi wants?” Shuichi asked again, trying to play it cool.

“I don’t know, Tohma didn’t say.” Hiro replied offhandedly.

“And you didn’t ask!?” Shuichi grabbed Hiro by the shoulders.

“Why should I?” Hiro smirked amused at his friend’s fearful expression.

“Just to know, I mean, isn’t he your lover?”

“Yes, my lover… not my son, he doesn’t need to tell me everything he does.” Hiro stated shaking himself out of Shu’s grasp.

“I’m calling Yuki!” Shuichi exclaimed pulling out his phone.

“If you want to call someone, call Suguru, we’ve already wasted so much time because of your sex-escapades.” Hiro pull out his phone.

“It was worth it,” Shu smiled sweetly.

“I’m sure,” Hiro smiled back, he dialed Suguru’s number, “Hey Fujisaki, baka-san came back, get your butt here pronto!” With that he hanged up and turned back to the pink head. “I hope these past few days gave you lots of inspiration, ‘cause Sakano-san want a song, and he wants it yesterday!”

“Oh, it’s good to be back!” Shuichi exclaimed sarcastically.


XXX



Yuki walked into his office to find Tohma sitting on the sofa already having tea.

“Sorry to come like this Eiri.” The mogul stood to greet his ex lover.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t busy.” Yuki replied awkwardly. Since the argument they’d had at the TV studio, they hadn’t crossed words. It felt strange. “So, may I help you?” Yuki went to his desk and pretended to look at his messages. He would never tell Tohma how much his words had hurt him.

“First of all, let me say that I’m sorry about the other day, I was upset at your behavior, I know I shouldn’t be, and that I have no right to involve myself in what you do, but I love you and I get… frustrated. I was out of line and be assured that it will not happen again.” The producer asserted.

“That’s alright,” Yuki didn’t elaborate further, “Is that what brings you here?”

“No, It’s about Shuichi,” Tohma didn’t beat around the bush, “I know he doesn’t have anything to do with you, but he’s been missing since that night. I’ve waited long enough, if I can’t find him by the end of the day, I will have to contact the authorities.” Tohma looked calmly at the blonde man, as if gauging his expression.

Yuki hadn’t stopped to think about the consequences of him shaking up with Shuichi in his apartment without a care in the world. Of course people would be worried about Shuichi.

“I wouldn’t worry about him,” Yuki replied quickly, before he let his ex see too much of his feelings through his silence.

“Do you know where he is? Was he with you?” Tohma came closer to the desk. Yuki only looked the other way; oblivious of the color his cheeks took.

Tohma broke into a huge smile, and smacked himself inwardly for not having thought about it. In the past few days he had been ready to report Shuichi missing quite a few times, always stopped by Hiro… give him a little more time… he would say. Finally this morning he’d had enough, and just out of a whim he’d come here.

“I kicked him out this morning; he should be at the studio now.” The mangaka mumbled offhandedly.

“Was that so hard?” Tohma asked softly, he was truly happy for his precious friend.

“Well, after he beat me up, it wasn’t.” Yuki admitted. Had he been looking at Tohma, he would have seen the man’s jaw hit the floor.

“Don’t tell me!” Tohma came around the desk and removed the sunglasses Yuki still wore. He touched the vague remnants of a black eye softly, tenderly, the way it would have ignited the fires within the mangaka in the past, but now felt warm and brotherly.

The producer began laughing so hard he gave himself hiccups.

“Don’t laugh! It isn’t funny!” Yuki tried to sound menacing, but the shorter man laughed even louder at the pathetic tough front his ex lover was trying to put.

“Sorry, sorry… I just…” And he kept on laughing.

“I kicked his ass too!” The mangaka announced in his defense, and that set Tohma even more.

“I’d like to shake his hand,” Tohma tried his best to sober up, but it was just not happening.

“Yeah? Is beating Yuki Eiri a deed worth of a handshake from Seguchi-sama?” Yuki grouched putting his shades back on.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tohma was finally able to regain his composure, “I’m so happy you two patched things up. I wish you had called me to share the news sooner. That would have saved Hiro a lot of grief.”

“Aw, like I was gonna get out of bed to call Hiro-chan.” Again Tohma laughed.

“Guess not.” Tohma smiled warmly.

The two men remained silent for a few moments. Tohma reflecting on how many ways their lives have changed in so little time. And Yuki thinking on how much he would have given a few years ago, to see Tohma care about him the way he cared about Nakano Hiroshi. It seemed so meaningless. All those years of anguish, when they could have been good friends and share their ups and downs-- just like they are now–without complicating things the way they had.

Tohma watched him closely, and he couldn’t find the strength to pretend anymore. Letting go of his guarded expression, Yuki looked out the window lost in his own thoughts.

“What are you going to do about Mikka?” Tohma asked boldly, there was no sense in beating around the bush about the matter. Yuki announced on live TV to half the nation that he and Mikka would marry before the year’s end. That was little over a month away, and the scandal that could come out of this could very well cost Eiri his career, and that assuming Shuichi was completely left out of it.

“I don’t know,” Yuki let out honestly, “I mean, I have to do it right by her, but I don’t want to make the same mistake we did.”

“You mean that I did.” Tohma corrected, knowing full well that he was the only one to blame.

“We both had our share of fault. You for marrying my sister without loving her, and me for not letting you go when I should have.” Tohma looked down, again haunted by Mika’s appearance. To think that he could have saved her from all that pain made him feel horrible as a person, but continuing the lie would be much worse. “I’m confused Tohma, I don’t know what to do.” Yuki leaned back on his chair and sighed deeply.

For his stubborn friend to admit his feelings must have been the hardest thing he’s ever done, but that only told the music mogul just how serious the situation was. “What does your gut tell you?” Tohma asked just as confused.

I don’t want to give up Shuichi; I know I should, but… I don’t want to… Yuki thought, picturing the said singer’s sleeping face. He could never admit it aloud to another soul, but Tohma knew, of that he was sure. “Shuichi makes me…” Yuki looked for words to express what he felt.

“Whole,” Tohma completed the sentence that described exactly what Hiro meant to him.
“Then you must look for a way to let Mikka off easy. I don’t know her that well, so I’m afraid I can’t be of much help to you, but you cannot allow her to talk you into going ahead with the wedding.” Tohma urged.

“I know, I won’t. As selfish as it sounds, I won’t put Shuichi through that. I can’t stand the thought that he might resent me.”

“Like you resented me?” Tohma asked lowly. Yuki didn’t reply, he didn’t need to.
“I’m glad you’ve grown so much.” The produced smiled.

“I’m not too sure about that, but do I know that I want to be with that asshole, and I’m willing to put a bit more effort than I’m used to.” Yuki ended with a lost expression, all these feelings were too knew and complicated for him to understand. Tohma smiled at his friend, and the ex lovers held each other in a warm tight embrace.

XXX


"Cut it out man! Let’s rehearse seriously; we had to cancel a lot of gigs because you were getting your ass fucked.” Hiro scolded an absent-minded Shuichi; the pink head had made all sorts of mistakes, and on top of that, had gotten calls from Ryuichi every five seconds.

“Hiro! There are children here! “ The singer smirked covering Suguru’s ears.

“If we’re not working, I’m leaving,” the said teen shook his band mate’s hands off, and got up to leave.

“We are Fujisaki-kun, don’t pay attention to that hater.” Shuichi smiled guiding the younger man to his instrument.

“Did you call Tohma-kun to let him know our ‘leader’ returned?” Suguru turned to Hiro ignoring the pink haired man.

“Yeah, he knows. We’re having a meeting as soon as he gets back.” Hiro replied business like.

“Is he jealous through his teeth?” Shuichi smirked.

“Yes Shu-chan, he’s so jealous, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.” Hiro yawned.

“Shuuuuuu-kun!!” Ryuichi’s voice flooded the whole studio. The older singer jumped into the waiting arms of the younger one, and kissed his pink head a thousand times it seemed.

“We’re not getting anything done are we?” Suguru rolled his eyes.

“I was so worried Shu!” Ryu whined.

“Where’s that bastard you sleep with?” Shuichi asked right away, he wanted to ask the arrogant monk to tell Yuki they never had anything going, that they weren’t even friends. Even if Yuki said he didn’t care, Shuichi could not leave matters like that, he wanted Yuki to trust him, and he would do whatever it took to make that happen.

“He’s at school… Oh my god, I can’t wait to tell him!! C’mon Shu-chan, tell me that thing Yuki-sensei did to you in the shower!”

“He already did!” Both Hiro and Suguru yelled at once, remembering all too lividly the recount.

“You guys are no fun! I can’t wait to try it with Tatsu-chan!” Ryu stuck his tongue out at the two.

“Don’t pay attention Ryu-chan, they’re haters who are jealous I found true love.”

“How does nasty sex equal love?” Suguru asked rolling his eyes – indeed a bit jealous.

“Anyways…” Hiro interrupted, bringing the nonsense to a stop.

“So what did Yuki-sensei say about your hair?” Ryuichi continued without paying Hiro or Suguru any mind.

“He said it look like Kuma-chan’s.” Shuichi smirked, also ignoring Hiro.

“Kyaaa! Didn’t I tell you? Wow, he knows Kumagoro’s name!” Ryuichi’s eyes gleamed with exhilaration.

“Let’s go get something to eat, ne Suru-kun?” Hiro turned to the teen, giving up on the two air headed singers.

“Amen to that!” Suguru rushed out of the studio followed by Hiro while the other two kept on chattering obliviously.


XXX


Yuki sat alone in his office long after Tohma left. Their conversation still in his mind, particularly one part of it… He had to tell Mikka, if not about Shuichi, at least about the marriage. There was no way he could go through it now. He picked his phone and dialed his fiancé’s number… no answer; he tried two more times and nothing.

“Weird,” He muttered. He didn’t leave her a message, instead, he thought to just go to the apartment and get it over with… if only it wasn’t so hard to face her.

Bad Luck’s music blasted in the background. He moved his lips repeating the words almost unconsciously. The singer’s face contorted in pleasure made its way to his mind to torture him, obliterating all other thoughts … fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? My life as upside down, and I’m acting like a virgin teen! The phone rang distracting him from his dirty thoughts. It was probably Mikka returning his call; he looked at the number not recognizing it. He didn’t reply, not a minute later, his secretary’s voice came from the intercom.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Eiri-san, but there is someone from Musashi High School on the line insisting in speaking with you… it’s about your brother.” Yuki was shocked to say the least, shouldn’t they be calling Mika? Although he wouldn’t put it past his stupid brother to have them call, just to annoy him.

“Its fine, I’ll take the call.” He snapped dryly, turning off the music and switching lines.
“Uesugi Eiri here.”

“Good afternoon, I am Watanabe Miyako, assistant principal from Murashi High School,”

“How may I help you?” Yuki asked wondering if Mika was all right, ordinarily he wouldn’t, but given the separation and all.

“I am calling in regards of Uesugi Tatsuha; I understand that you are one of his guardians. We tried contacting Seguchi-san, but her phone is unavailable…” The woman explained.

“Is Tatsuha in any trouble?” Yuki cut her off before she could continue with her nonsense explanations.

“Yes, he… believe me, this has never happened in our school before…”

“What did he do?” Yuki cut her again, holding the bridge of his nose.

“He got into a fight.” The woman replied rather angrily.

“Is that it? Don’t you people have detention or something? I have a company to run, I can’t…”

“He sent two boys to the hospital,” The woman interrupted, Yuki was rendered speechless, he had gotten in quite a few fight of his own in school, and even sent kids to the hospital as well, and he had never worried about how his parents had dealt with it. This woman sounded like she was ready to kill.

“I’m on my way.”

The mangaka hanged up.

He pressed a button and Ryousuke came in a second later. “I have to go to my brother’s school, cancel any appointment I might have in the next two hours, I’ll call you in case it drags longer than expected.” He grabbed his jacket, his sunglasses and rushed out. He was strangely worried about the outcome of this blunder. Hopefully the kid’s parent didn’t press charges. They all had enough problems to deal with as it is. Something like that to happen could cost them dearly–and not in a monetary way… I’m going to kill that little bastard! He thought, but in the back of his mind, he hoped the little troublemaker was all right.

“Should I come with you Eiri-san, how’s Tatsuha-kun?” Ryousuke asked concerned, he liked the monk quite a bit more than he liked his older brother.

“No, stay here and straighten things out, I shouldn’t take too long.” And he left, running into Makoto in the hallway.

“Sorry Yuki-sensei…” The young man apologized, bowing low, but by the time he looked up; the moody mangaka was already getting into the elevator.

X

“Where do you think he’s going in such a hurry?” Misa–an inker–popped out of nowhere.

“I don’t know… did you see his face? He looked worried,” Makoto let out concerned.

“I didn’t know Yuki-sensei was into Bad Luck?” An intern came and joined the two. Makoto smiled at her cockily.

“Why yes, they seem to be sensei’s band of choice lately.” The penciler smiled broadly. “After I heard them for the first time –from sensei’s office of course–I pre ordered their album, they’re good, sound a lot like Grasper, but good.”

“Oh my god! Did you guys see Seguchi Tohma here before?! They looked so hot together, I soooo wanted to get in the elevator with them!” another young artist joined the gathering group.

“He is married to Yuki-sensei’s sister.” Makoto stated, proud of the well-guarded info he knew.

“What are you, Yuki-sensei’s encyclopedia?” Shingo rebuked, Makoto turned to Misa.

“Anyways… I don’t know about you, but I think Yuki-sensei ‘likes’ Shindou Shuichi.” He continued ignoring his ‘rival’ “I mean, Belial? –from Angel Sanctuary–is the spitting image of Shindou-san!”

“Oh my god, I think so too!! Did you see the show the other day, when BL and Grasper did Shinning Collection and Yuki-sensei was a guest!” Misa exclaimed excitedly, “Yuki-sensei was loooooking!”

“Who didn’t?! But that was nothing compared with First Stage… do you remember that one?” Both youngsters had stars coming out of their eyes.

“I thought they were going to eat each other!” Shingo added, all others turned to him.

“I thought you didn’t watch that kind of shows,” Makoto arched a brow, reminding the inker of the well self- advertised fact.

“When the boss is in them I make an exception.” The inker defended his integrity.

“What's all this racket?” Onizuka came out of his office to find the hallway congested with people who were supposed to be working.

“Don’t you think so Onizuka-sensei?” Makoto turned to their manager.

“I most certainly have no idea what you’re talking about, but I do know, that if I don’t see you all in your work stations in thirty seconds, there will be no lunch break!” And just like that, the hallway went back to its empty and quiet mode.

XXX


Yuki made it to the principal’s office in record time. Tatsuha sat in a chair in one corner, glaring with a black eye, very much like the one he still sported. It was the only physical damage the blonde could see. Without a word to the young monk, the – then worried–now angry mangaka, waited for the principal to show up.

“They couldn’t get in touch with Mika.” Tatsuha said with a hint of sarcasm, “I tell you though, I’m shocked you came.” Yuki turned his icy eyes to him.

“I tell you this now… If this is a cry for attention, you better cut the crap; I am not in a good mood.” At that moment, an elderly woman walked in, Yuki bowed slightly, and Tatsuha didn’t even get up, he glared at his older brother with such resentment, that it gave the principal chills.

“Uesugi-san, please have a seat,” She pointed to a chair and waited, the annoyed mangaka looked around, confused. Tatsuha cleared his throat and pointed at his eyes.

“I can’t take off my glasses… medical reasons.” Yuki lied, understanding what his brother meant.

“Well,” The woman started not too candidly, “ I wish the circumstances of our meeting were much different, but unfortunately they are very unpleasant. As you might have heard from Watanabe-sensei, Tatsuha-kun implicated himself into a horrible fight involving five other boys, two of which got sent to the hospital, one with a broken rib, and the other with a gash on his head.” The woman began.

“He fell; I had nothing to do with that one!” Tatsuha stood yelling.

“Tatsuha!” The woman snapped, the monk sat down and crossed his arms crossly. Yuki didn’t even bother to look, he had always kept his distant from him–for his own reasons–but now he was truly beginning to dislike him.

“He refused to tell us why he started the fight. You must understand Uesugi-san that the parents of all involved are furious and want to see disciplinary action take place. One of the parents is even talking about pressing charges; we cannot have such a scandal tainting the name of our school.”

“It was a fight between classmates, give me a break! Believe me I am not excusing my brother in any way, but I think that’s a bit much, kids will be kids.” Yuki reasoned coldly, “We’ll pay for all medical expenses and damage of course.”

“I will speak to the parents in question, but I don’t think it is that easy, Tatsuha has only been a student here a little while, and he’s not what one would call… a model student.” Yuki stood cutting her off yet again.

“I assure you that he will be severely punished for what he did, and he will most certainly comply with any and all punishment you have for him.” He turned to Tatsuha, “Let’s go.”

The teen got up and walked to his brother. And without another word the blonde man exited with his younger brother in tow.

The principal was left with her mouth open agape; this meeting had not gone how she’d planned. By the way the older Uesugi acted, she could see where Tatsuha got his manners. It wasn’t clear whether Uesugi-san even care…. But then again… what could she expect from a man with died blonde hair, who was not even respectful enough to take off his sunglasses.

“These rich people think everything can be solved with money.” The woman sighed and got on the phone…

X

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?” Tatsuha walked behind his brother, he was very grateful someone came to the rescue, but not very thrilled to see him.

“I would if I cared.” Yuki replied coldly.

“Are you going to tell Mika?” Tatsuha asked worriedly, he could not afford to be sent back to Kyoto.

“No, you are, I just came to get you, I’m not dealing with your messes.”

“Hmph, how typical. Eiri-sama is too busy to deal with his family.” Yuki turned to his younger brother, with a sarcastic smirk.

“And monk-sama is too busy being selfish, to realize people have lives that do not revolve around him.” Tatsuha blinked shocked, it was the very first time Eiri ever retorted to his taunting, his imposing brother would usually brush it off, or tell him to shut the fuck up, but now he seemed different somehow, as if some shield had been lifted from him and the real person underneath was trying to come out. Tatsuha was way to young to understand any of it, but he definitely sensed something.

“I can get home on my own… Thank you so very much for your precious time.” The teen let out sarcastically bowing low.

“Are you calling one of your boyfriends?” Yuki let out coldly without looking back at him, again Tatsuha felt that animosity, it was literally reaching out and trying to choke him.

“No need to, I can take care of myself, I only need them for sex. But that aside, Mika is not well, she’s barely eating, and she’s drinking and taking pills that I can’t say for sure what they are. I’ve never seen her like this.” The monk didn’t know whether his brother would even care, but he was worried about Mika and was helpless to do anything.

The monk couldn’t totally blame Tohma for what was happening to Mika, even though he left her, he was trying to help, but Mika wasn’t letting him in. Eiri on the other hand, had also had his play in the whole mess, and was showing no sign of remorse. It was time he began to take some responsibility for his actions. Besides, the cold bastard was the only one he could turn to. Their mother wouldn’t want to get involved, and even if she did, the monk was not in the best of terms with her… so that only left the man who would rather die than to lend a helping hand.

“Why are you telling me this?” Eiri turned and set indifferent eyes on the younger Uesugi.

“Because you’re the only one who can help her.” The monk watched him carefully.

“How so?” The question wasn’t sarcastic, just plain unconcerned. Over the years Tatsuha had resigned himself to the fact that Eiri did not have a heart. It’d hurt in the beginning, especially when he was a kid who idolized his older brother as if he were a god, but over time he got used to it. And now, he could almost say that he resented him for it.

“She needs someone on her side, someone to listen to her and understand her.” The mangaka looked at his younger brother… when did you grow up so much?

“Isn’t that your job? And what makes you think she even wants to see me, remember, I’m the one who took her man first.” Yuki let out matter of fact, even if he wanted to help her, right now he couldn’t even help himself.

“I might be speaking out of line, but… you got over Tohma right? Just tell her how; I think that’d be enough.” Tatsuha said what was on his mind before Eiri drifted away, back to that dark place in his heart.

“Hmph… don’t get so cocky brat,” They reached Eiri’s car; he got in first and waited for his brother to do the same. Tatsuha stood there, thinking back, trying to figure out where they had grown so far apart that it didn’t feel as if they were related anymore.

“Are you getting in?” The blonde image of himself grouched, he got into the car and looked out the window… remembering…

XXX Flashback XXX

“Niisan!” Tatsuha’s flushed face burned, and his feet throbbed from running. After morning classes, he’d rushed home to confirm what he’d heard from a conversation Tohma-oniisan and Mika had had the night before. The six year old had counted the hours until he could see Eiri and hear it from him. “Eiri-niisan!” He rushed through the house and crossed the garden to the unattached room his brother used. Tatsuha pounded on the door, heaving from exhaustion.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Eiri stood behind him wearing his school uniform-- Kyaaa, he looked so cool! Tatsuha couldn’t wait for the time when he’d get to wear it.

“Is it true?” The words hardly came out of his mouth; just the thought of his brother’s manga being published was enough to make him pass out.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Eiri pushed him aside, “Move! I have homework to do, I don’t have time to chatter with you… go and pest your father.” He snapped irritated.

“I heard from Tohma-oniisan that he talked to a friend of his, and that he loved your manga so much that he wants to get it published as fast as possible!” Tatsuha repeated proudly what he’d heard; he refused to be left out of this. Eiri never paid him any mind, and every time he talked to him was to say something mean. It had gotten better for a little while, but ever since he became the official heir to the Uesugi shrine, Eiri just didn’t bother with him anymore... so unfair!

“Tohma…san, told you this?” Eiri looked weird… kind of hurt.

“Yes!” Tatsuha lied, he wanted his brother to think that he was important as well, that people did take him seriously and told him stuff.”

Eiri looked at him for a long while, his pretty honey eyes were scarier than usual, then he opened his door and went into his room, “If you know so damn much why are you bothering me?” He said over his shoulder, and slammed the door on his face.

X

“Why doesn’t Eiri like talking to me?” The newly appointed monk asked his older sister, while watching her draw some sort of puppy, she sure didn’t inherit the talent Eiri had from their parents… neither had he, but if that meant Eiri had gotten his share, Tatsuha was happy.

“Don’t feel special, that prick doesn’t even like talking to himself.” Mika replied offhandedly, not taking her eyes from her ‘art’

“Why do you always call him names? He’s not a prick, or a bastard, or whatever other stuff you call him, he’s just really busy, besides, he likes talking to Tohma-oniisan.” To this Mika snapped her eyes to him, she looked so scary... and ugly.

“How do you know? What have you seen?” She grabbed him by the shoulders and urged. As of late both his siblings were acting scarier and scarier. Tatsuha hoped he never got like that when he became a teen. His father had told him the pressures would be great, and temptation would knock at every turn–whatever that means–but he seriously hoped it didn’t get him that bad.

“Nothing… let go!” Tatsuha yelled, Mika did, and watched him suspiciously for a while, before grabbing her pencil and continuing her ‘artwork’

“Eiri is just jealous of you that’s all.” She declared offhandedly.

“What… you lie!!” Tatsuha was shocked beyond words, why would his older, cooler, and more talented brother be jealous of him?

“He was supposed to be the ‘heir’ of the temple, he was supposed to be wearing those tunics that make you look so cute, and he was supposed to be daddy’s favorite, but because you came along…and his hair of course, he’s not, so he hates you.” Mika smiled sweetly. Tatsuha was not at all sure what being a monk entailed, he hardly paid attention when his father preached, but he did know that it was a life of enslavement, he was not able to make his own choices, he couldn’t have a carefree existence like Mika and Eiri did… why would Eiri be jealous of that?

“Liar!” Tatsuha pushed her, making her ruin her picture. Instead of getting mad, she laughed.

“You took what belonged to him; he took what belonged to me… what will I take from you, ne Tatsuha-chan?”

XXX End of Flashback XXX

It didn’t make sense back then, but now… Damn! Why was his family so fucking complicated!?

“Are you coming?” Eiri’s voice woke him up. They were parked in front of Mika’s apartment building. Souma–the porter–rushed to open his door.

“Tatsuha-kun how was school today?” The middle age man said agreeably. “Oh god, are you alright?” He asked worriedly upon seeing the young monk’s eye

“Hey, don’t treat me like I’m an old lady in front of my ultra cool brother, you’re making me blush.” The monk flashed a smirk to the one in question. The man bowed to the blonde man respectfully, just now realizing he was there.

“Will you need your car to be parked Uesugi-sama?” Yuki walked past the man, handing him the key as his reply. Why was it that everyone liked the brat so much? It made him mad every time he thought about it.

“He’s having a bad day…” Tatsuha whispered as he rushed to catch up. Yuki heard the half whisper, but didn’t say anything.

X

“So, not only do you sleep around, but befriend the service as well… very classy.” Eiri observed matter-of-factly, taking off his sunglasses and rubbing his eyes once inside the elevator, wincing a bit. Tatsuha’s jaw almost dropped as he saw what looked like a very noticeable, fading, black eye. “What? You’ve never seen a black eye before… if not, look in the mirror.” The mangaka put his shades back on and leaned his shoulder against the wall as the elevator went up.

Tatsuha didn’t ask the thousand questions going through his mind. Instead, he assumed the very same posture as the one standing opposite him.

“I befriend the service, as you say, to make it easier for me to sneak out, so that I can… sleep around.” Eiri didn’t retort to his sarcastic reply as he had before. It was always like this with them, from not talking to sarcasm then back to silence, it got to him every time.

Tatsuha’s cell rang, he thought about not answering, but when he saw it was Ryu, he didn’t think twice. “Hey babe!” The monk answered coolly.

“Tatsu, Shu came back!!!!” The monk’s hyper lover chanted happily, Yuki could hear it from where he stood.

“That’s great! Where the hell was he all this time? I tell you, when I see him, I’ll show him what it means to make you worried.” Yuki arched his brow, feeling a bit more than jealous… I don’t want you near Shuichi! His mind screamed against all his principles.

“Don’t do anything to my Shu, he has a perfectly good excuse… he was making up with somebody” Tatsuha snapped his eyes to his brother–who had just turned the other way--and a huge grin spread his features.

“I gotta go babe,” Tatsuha said quickly and hanged up.

“So… how did you get that black eye… did somebody knock some sense into you?” The next thing he knew, the teen was being pressed against the wall, held by the throat. His brother’s eyes were truly menacing, but Tatsuha did not back down, with a glare of his own, he held his ground. Eiri let him go and went back to his corner.

Tatsuha was actually surprised to have gotten any reaction at all from the imposing blonde… but that aside, this was more than he could fathom. What was Shuichi’s secret? Hard as he tried for all those years, he was never able to get close to the cruel bastard. And here came some obnoxious singer, and got Eiri to act more human than he’s ever seen him. Damn, the little bastard even got a good punch at the untouchable Uesugi-sama at some point by the looks of it. The elevator reached its destination, and both men made their way out in silence.

X

Yuki could sense immediately that something was wrong. The elegant apartment was dark and dusty, and it seemed as if someone has had more than a few rage fits… boy don’t I know those well.

“Mika!” Tatsuha called dropping his bag and going straight to her room where he stayed in a little while.

Yuki looked around perplexed. He had no idea what had possessed him to come up, and now that he was here, he had no idea what to do.

“She’s in there,” The teen came back and announced. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving?” Yuki hadn’t move from the front door.

“What I do is none of your business,” Yuki spat and went the way Tatsuha had came from.

Mika laid on her bed, fully dressed, her hair undone and her make up smudged on her face. She’d most likely had slept in those clothes for days. He came closer to her, wishing he knew what to do. The man in him who hated her guts, told him to leave, but the brother in him, wanted to help her… but how? Is there really anything I can do? Then, allowing his cowardice to prevail once more, he decided to run… this isn’t my problem; this doesn’t concern me… who consoles me when I suffer? He told himself less than convinced.

“Eiri?” Mika’s voice was so weak, it was hard to hear it, “Are you here to laugh at me?” She lifted her head. Her eyes were so red and swollen, it was hard to believe this was his proud sister; the one he had hated so much for so long. He pondered on her question, was he here to laugh at her? What exactly did he come to do? He watched her and realized that all his hatred was gone; she just invoked sadness and regret.

“No…” He whispered softly and approached her.

“Don’t come near me!” She protested weakly, throwing a bottle at him, which he dodged easily. “How you must be enjoying this Eiri… yes, take a good look, because it will be the last time you’ll ever get to see me like this!” Her voice picked volume.

“I know we have had our differences, but I would never wish for you to suffer like this.” Yuki sat at the foot of the bed; she glared at him with open hatred. He felt so helpless; these kind of things were not his forte. Again, he felt the urge to run, but he fought it, he was tired of always taking the easy way out of everything. Shuichi’s words came back to him… We all run sometimes, the important thing is to know why we run and be able to stop and face our fears. Those words sounded pretty at the time, but they actually made sense now. Can I stop running? He asked himself… his answer came fast.

“I know it might be too late for this,” Yuki turned to her and faced her hatred filled eyes, “…I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I made you go through all that anguish. It may not mean much to you, but for what it is worth for… I’m sorry.” Mika watched him with the same hateful eyes, but he didn’t care, he had said what he had stuck inside and it felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of him. Yuki knew she would most likely never forgive him, but he had given the first step, and hopefully, little by little, she’d begin to understand. He was so tired of all the resentment, the jealousy, and the hatred. It was time to end it once and for all. He had been the one to take the first step, and now was up to her.

XXX

Mika sat on her bed not believing her hears, her proud brother had just apologized to her. She didn’t think him capable of uttering those words, but here he was, saying that he was sorry. He sounded so sincere, that it was hard not to believe him.
She thought she hated him, up until not too long ago, she had blamed him for her unhappiness, but these past few weeks of reflecting made her see that she was the one who brought her own personal hell. She’d known Eiri and Tohma were lovers long before she decided to make up her pregnancy. She knew that Tohma loved Eiri, and that is why she would not let go. Her pride had screamed at the time, her envy towards Eiri had blinded her, ever since they were children; she had hated and envied him. He was talented, he was beautiful, and he was the one Tohma chose, Everything she did over the years had at one point come back to haunt her, All the effort and energy she spent hating had been for nothing.



Yuki stood and gave her a weak smile, there was not point in staying any longer, he had said what he had to say and that was all he could do. He wished she could find the strength to pull through and find a way to be happy. He turned to go.

“Eiri…” Mika called lowly, he turned and was surprised to see tears in her eyes. “Please don’t go… I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice was shaky; Yuki came closer and sat next to her. Slowly, he draped his arms around her frail body, and allowed her to cry on his shoulder. She seemed so lost and defenseless; it made him sad, but a little happy as well. For the first time he felt like a brother, and it was not all that bad.

X

“How is she?” Tatsuha stood from the couch and asked as soon as Eiri came out of Mika’s room. He heard her cry, he heard Eiri apologizing, and although he was happy for their ‘reconciliation’ he couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. As always, he couldn’t do anything… and had completely been left out.

“She’s sleeping.” Eiri’s tone was neither sarcastic nor angry. He sounded tired, or maybe just unguarded. The blonde figure regarded him strangely. Tatsuha didn’t know what to think, he was used to the mean Eiri, the sarcastic son of a bitch who didn’t give a crap about anybody Eiri, not the man who stood in front of him now. “Don’t tell her about your fight at school; have them call me if anything happens.” Eiri stated, Tatsuha was taken off guard.

“I… Alright.” The confused teen let out. Eiri nodded slightly and headed to the door, “Hey… I didn’t have anything to do with Shuichi.” The monk didn’t know why he felt like saying such an unrelated thing, it just came out. He wanted to tell his brother so many things, to ask him why he hated him so much, to thank him for always–in his bastard sort of way-- being there, but the monk was afraid of being rejected yet again, so he said something he knew his brother would like to hear. Eiri turned, and again regarded him with tired eyes.

“I know,” He replied simply and left, leaving Tatsuha with a lot to think about.

XXX


Yuki exited the elevator, to find Shuichi sitting on the floor by the door. He had a bag next to him, which told him the singer intended to spend the night. Yuki felt utterly exhausted, but seeing the singer’s contented face as he waited, brought him a sense of serenity.

“Yuki!” Shuichi’s lavender eyes lit, and his whole face brightened, “How was your day?” The pink haired man asked happily, jumping to his feet, “We didn’t get much done …you know, everyone wanted to know where I was, then Ryuichi came, and y’know…” The singer rushed, throwing his arms around the taller man’s neck. Yuki allowed himself to be hugged and kissed, but otherwise did or said anything “I been waiting for you for a while, I was about to go home!” Shuichi stopped his chatter, noticing something amiss. The two men stood facing each other in silence for a full minute.

“How about we go in?” Yuki asked with a tiny hint of sarcasm.

“Are you alright?” Shuichi asked, letting go and moving out of the way. Yuki opened the door and let himself in; Shuichi followed him around the apartment waiting for his answer, but not pressing for it. The mangaka went to his room, got a change of clothes from his closet and went into the bathroom; closing the door on Shu’s face

… Here we go again… The singer thought sitting on the bed… I will not be discouraged, he let me kiss him and all… maybe he had a bad day at the office, or maybe… oh my god! Maybe he saw Mikka Costa!

As Shuichi was picturing the worst, Yuki came out of the bathroom looking refreshed. A towel hung around his neck, and he was wearing nothing but his favorite jeans.

“Hey! Why didn’t you tell me? I would have taken a shower with you.” Shuichi whined, hiding his worried face behind a smile. Yuki snapped his eyes to him, he didn’t look mad, but he did seem strange.

“Listen, I’m not in the mood for playing lovers today.” He said nonchalantly. Shuichi looked down and began playing with his thumbs... so much for the honeymoon.

In truth, Yuki very much wanted to hold Shuichi and be held by him, but he was not ready to show that much of his feelings. One of his top priorities for the day had been to talk to Mikka, but with all that happened, he was left with no desire to argue with her, so he came home. Besides, he needed to be alone, to think things through. All these changes were happening too fast, and were draining his energy, but he knew they were necessary in order to go on.

“Do you want me to leave?” Shuichi asked cautiously.


Do I want you to leave? Yuki asked himself. “No, I’m just tired, and hungry… are you?” Shuichi brightened, and stood to drape his arms around his lover.

“A little, I’ll call in for food; you just rest and let me take care of everything!” Shuichi jumped back and pulled out his phone, and then as a second thought, he put it back in his pocket and came back to the mangaka, taking his hand and guiding him to the bed, making him lay down on it. “You rest; I call you when the food is here.”

“I’m tired not sick!” Yuki snapped grouchily, the fact that the kid could make him forget his troubles with his stupidity alone, was puzzling, and endearing at the same time.

“That’s why I want you to lay down and rest. After we eat I’ll tell you my ideas for our co lab.” Shuichi stated seriously.

“Co lab?” The mangaka asked arching a brow.

“Yes, you said you’d draw my plot… Are you gonna take it back Uesugi Eiri?” The blonde man opened his eyes wide, a bit surprised to hear his real name in that vivacious voice. The mangaka rolled his eyes, not to give the kid any weird ideas. Yuki had hoped Shuichi would forget about that stupid promise… hmph, I guess that was too much to hope for.

“I never take back my word, but I did say I’d only do it if I can’t come up with something better… which is not impossible.” Yuki stated matter of fact as well.

“He he he… we’ll see.” Shu laughed and pulled out his phone…

X

They ate and Shuichi showed him his ideas–which were nothing but stick figures drawn on a old and beat up notebook–They were good, Yuki had to admit, but hell would freeze over before he told him so. After that, they’d gone to Yuki’s studio so he could work on his –very late-- projects, but after much ‘begging’ from a certain someone, Yuki wound up drawing Shuichi’s ideas into decent panels to show his staff.

“If they don’t like it, don’t bother to come up with more shit, I will not even waste my time listening to anymore of your blabbing. You do realize I have projects that need to be worked on” Yuki warned as he drew. Shuichi just nodded; the little bastard was hanging over his shoulder drooling, “Stop that!” The mangaka snapped-- this was the very reason he never allowed anyone to watch him draw.

“But you’re so good at it! You make it seem so easy. Oh my god! Do you know how many times I imagined you drawing like this?” Yuki had to smile in spite of himself, if the kid knew the kind of things he imagined him doing…

“You wanna know what else I imagined you doing?” Yuki didn’t turn.

His smile had turned into a smirk.

“What do I get if I guess?” The mangaka asked nonchalantly, trying his best to concentrate on the drawing in front of him

“I might… I don’t know, maybe do this…” The singer blew hot air into Yuki’s ear and slowly ran his tongue in circles over the already hot lobe.

‘What the hell are you doing!?” Yuki jumped out of his chair and all the hairs on the back of his head stood on end. In his whole life he hadn’t felt the electric jolt the kid’s tongue caused. He very seldom-- if ever-- allowed his ears to be touched… let alone licked!

“Kyaa! I found your weak spot!!” Shuichi charged like a cat to a mouse for more.

“If you ever do that again I will kill you painfully!” Yuki warned menacingly, but was stepping back for some odd reason. Shuichi just smirked like a little boy and kept on coming. “I mean it brat!”

“No you don’t.” And with that fair warning, Shuichi jumped on the unsuspecting mangaka, making both of them fall on the floor. With strength he didn’t know he had, Shuichi pinned the taller man and sucked his ear savagely.

“Stop it!” Yuki yelled, pushing and trashing, but he wasn’t convincing enough. Shuichi moved his assault to the other ear, and the defeated mangaka had nothing left but to relax and let the thrilling current run through his body and make him dizzy.

“Damn I get horny…” Shuichi rasped, rubbing himself against Yuki’s already hard sex.

“Do you now?” Yuki mused, grabbing Shuichi’s shoulders and pushing him off. He straddled him and tore the younger man’s clothes off, not caring to remain dignified any longer.

Shuichi wrestled with Yuki’s jean zipper to free the very thing he’s been daydreaming about all day long. As soon as it was free, Shu scooted down and took Yuki into his mouth, catching the now fully aroused mangaka by surprise. He sucked hard, then slow, running his tongue the length of the blonde’s hard shaft, twirling it in slow circles over the tip, then swallowing it all the way to the back of his throat. Yuki threw his head back enjoying the pleasurable sensations overtaking his body. How could this clumsy, cry baby make him feel so good?

Yuki focused his eyes on the scene bellow, letting out a moan upon setting them on the passion filled lavender ones bellow, staring right back at him. With a shaky hand, the mangaka searched for Shuichi’s shaft and began stroking it in rhythm with Shuichi’s mouth. The young singer threw his head back. Letting go of Yuki’s sex, he elicited a throaty, wanting, moan that made Yuki want to enter him right then.

“Yu-ki,” Shuichi moaned urgently moving his hips to assist Yuki’s hand, wanting more of this exquisite pleasure that was slowly taking away his reason.

“What… already started crying?” Yuki smirked. Pumping faster, and caressing Shuichi’s balls and entrance all in one motion. Not wanting to be left out, Shuichi resumed his previous task, determined to see the imposing blonde god begging for mercy. He grabbed the tight ass and guided it deeper into his mouth, Yuki let go of Shuichi’s sex, throwing his head back and letting a loud moan escape, his usually contained expression was melting fast. This brought Shuichi a sense of power he only felt when he sang. Just knowing that he could affect Yuki is such a way, made him feel invincible

“Yeah…” Yuki whispered over and over, just the sound of that was enough to bring Shuichi to his knees.

Suddenly he felt Yuki pull away, the disoriented singer, whimpered at the loss of the weight on him, but that feeling didn’t last long as his legs were brought back so far, that his knees almost touched his face. Yuki’s skilful tongue entered his opening a second later and all he could do was thrash his head from side to side when he was overcome by a heat that ran all over his body.

“Don’t quit on me…” Yuki rasped, moving from the tight asshole to the hard cock and lapping at it with abandon. Shuichi’s hands grabbed the blonde head and pushed it deeper, wanting to feel more and more the feeling of falling, the burning pleasure that could not be described by simple words.

“I want it… give it to me…” The singer managed to wheeze between moans, but the cruel mangaka was not ready to end it just yet. He let Shuichi’s legs go, and straddled him again, offering his own engorged shaft as a request for patience. Shuichi wasted no time taking it deep into his mouth and devour savagely. Yuki allowed himself a few moments to relish the sight, and went back to his previous task, following Shuichi’s rhythm perfectly, there was no more talking, just their heavy breathing and their frantic race to the finish line.

“I can’t hold it!” Shuichi cried, closing his eyes to keep from seeing and going over the edge too soon. Yuki was not doing much better himself, he let Shu go, coming up to capture the young lips in a searing kiss. Opening the younger man’s legs as far wide as they could go and positioning himself at Shuichi’s entrance.

“Sorry… it’s going hurt.” The mangaka grunted, a smirk playing on his flushed face.


“I don’t care, just shove it in!” No sooner than said, a tearing pain invaded his senses.

Shuichi screamed in a mixed feeling of pleasure and pain, Yuki began moving, slowly at first, then more and more frenzied, stroking Shuichi’s sex in sync with his thrusts. Shuichi moved his hips just as frantic, swallowed by the mounting pleasure.

It didn’t take long; the mangaka heard a roar from his lover followed by hot liquid splattering him. With a coarse gasp, the blonde man threw his head back and shook all over, announcing his own orgasm.

Yuki fell on top of the smaller body, panting. Kicking himself inwardly for being so easily pulled into Shuichi’s games, but glad that he had. He actually felt a lot better. The mangaka rolled over and laid beside Shuichi. The singer was still panting heavily; and had an idiotic smile on his face.

“When I said ‘shove it in’ I didn’t mean it literally you know?” Shuichi grouched, hitting Yuki lightly on the chest.

“You should be more specific, besides, you know you loved it.” The mangaka replied sarcastically.

“You’re lucky I did!”

“I’m lucky?”

Shuichi took a deep breath and they remained silent for a while, Shuichi not thinking very much, other than thanking god for giving him this little while of bliss.

“I went to see my sister today.” Yuki began lowly after a long while, almost hoping Shuichi didn’t hear. The singer propped himself on one elbow and stared down at him.

“Is she ok?” Shuichi asked with much concern on his face. Yuki didn’t understand why this kid who had come into his life forcefully and abruptly, cared so much. He could understand infatuation, obsession, desire, but the feelings Shuichi had towards him, and the feelings he brought about, Yuki could not even begin to comprehend.

“Yeah, well, if you consider her husband just left her, I guess she’s fine.” Yuki let out tonelessly, remembering how she cried on his shoulder.

“That’s good, and with you, how is she with you?”

Yuki watched him close, “We’re tired of fighting with each other… at least for now.”

“So you’re friends?” The singer’s eyes got that little glint Yuki have come to like so much.

“I wouldn’t say that, but we called it truce for now.”

“I’m so glad! According to Tatsuha, she can be scary. I know it seems bad, but Hiro really loves Seguchi-san.” Shuichi began.

“I really don’t feel like talking about them,” The mangaka turned sharply to the younger man, frowning. Shuichi shut up right away and look the other way… away from those deep hazel eyes that could cause both desire and fear. “About Tatsuha… how good a friends are you really?” Yuki asked lowly, somewhat wearily–which was rare to say the least–Shuichi looked up to the ceiling trying to think a way to describe the whole without making it seem like they were close–which they were not!–


“I met him at NG by accident, he really likes Ryuichi, and since I knew him, he thought to use me to get close to him.” Shuichi began as he recalled the day he met the monk.

“Hmph… no surprise there.” Yuki let out.

“Well, it’s not that black and white. I found out that you were brothers, so I thought to use him too… It just got really complicated from there.”

“How so?” Yuki’s asked, arching a brow doubtfully.

“Ryuichi used to like me, so Tatsuha got jealous.”

“Used to like you?” Yuki’s curiosity was perking by the second, and the serious and guarded expression was slowly changing into an open, inquisitive one.

“Remember the day you saw us kissing?” Shuichi turned to the blonde, the mangaka didn’t reply, but his expression told the young singer that he remembered very well.
“Ryuichi was coming onto me… well I shouldn’t say coming on, see, he has this tendency to hug people a lot, he doesn’t think anything of it, but to some folks it may seem a bit strong. I was the flavor of the month then, so he was acting ‘normally’ Tatsuha saw it and decided to kiss me… to this day I still don’t know why. You walked in, and the rest is, as they say… history.” Still, Yuki didn’t say anything. “I was bombed because you threw me out of your place without an explanation, so I didn’t resist, I know I was wrong, but it didn’t mean anything…” Shuichi was beginning to sound desperate; he could not lose Yuki over this, not after everything he’s gone through. He was prepared to do anything to stay by his side. “Tatsuha and Ryuichi are together now; they don’t even remember I exist!” He whimpered on his own defense.

Yuki deepened his eyes annoyed at the lack of confidence Shuichi showed every time things got rough. He was the one who had wanted to ‘talk’ so badly, and he was the first one to start crying.

“You still think is about that little punk do you?” Yuki’s eyes took a glossy sheen to them, it seemed as if he wasn’t there anymore. Shuichi could see the transparent anger in them… and then confusion, “I was more jealous of that Grasper moron, if you must know.” The mangaka stated softly, the confusion in his eyes was gone, and there was mostly anger in them now.

Suddenly, the mangaka stood and left the room.

Shuichi didn’t know what to do. Should he give him his space, or should he follow? It seemed to have taken a lot of effort to admit Yuki had been jealous at all, but Shuichi wanted to hear more, he wanted to get to his love’s heart, to know how he really feels, and most importantly… why had he rejected him so fiercely?

Five minutes passed – which he counted by the second–and Yuki hadn’t returned, the singer went out of the room to look for his other half, and was astounded to find him fully dressed and heading towards the door.

“Yuki!” Shuichi ran fast, catching the man’s jacket as he hurried to get out. “Don’t go, please, we don’t have to talk anymore, we have all the time in the world!” Yuki turned to him with angry eyes, but anger wasn’t the only thing in them… tears, there were tears.

“…Yuki,” Shuichi muted.

The mangaka pulled his arm from the boy’s hold and went out. Slamming the door behind.

X

Yuki didn’t go anywhere; he just sat in his car hating himself for being such a fool. Listening to Shuichi, opened old wounds that he though to have forgotten.


XXX Flashback XXX

Yuki sat on the windowsill, anger sipped through every pore of his body. He came back from a stressful day at school, to find out ‘through Tatsuha of all people’ that Tohma would help him get Neon Genesis published. That -- Yuki felt-- was the ultimate insult. Not only was Tohma, not breaking up with Mika, now he made the moronic little bastard a confidant! He watched angrily the outside world he hated so much though his window, if he had it his way, he would never leave this room… but then again.

“Why can’t I fucking hate you?” he asked aloud, it was so easy to hate, up until now he had gotten by on hate alone, he hated his parents, his sister… and most of all his brother. Just the sight of him sickened him. To think that if he’d only looked like that, his life would be so much different, and now, that bastard Seguchi was siding with them.

He heard the little runt squeak and laugh in the distance, and no sooner than, the little monk came into view, running away from… Tohma.

“Bustard!” Yuki mumbled jealously. The man who was making him do unspeakable things at night, caught up to the Uesugi prodigy and threw him up in the air a few times while the little runt squealed in delight. “Fucking gross!” Yuki pulled himself off the sill, and went to his drawing table, to draw yet again, Tatsuha being tortured in some horrible way.

A knock on his door startled him. He ignored it, but when it drew in intensity and volume, he had no choice but to answer it. He opened the door with his usual angry mask, but as soon as he saw the cheery expression on the youthful face of his secret lover, he had to turn his back not to give him a smile of his own. He’d be damned to let him know that he was happy to see him.

“Hey!” Tohma greeted him, making his way into the room, and closing the door behind him.

‘Hey,” Yuki greeted coldly, sitting at his desk pretending to be doing homework.

“Is that all the greeting I get after I’ve been away on tour for months? And here I was expecting a kiss, how silly of me.” Tohma began cheerfully.

“Where is your woman and your appendage?” Yuki asked coldly, ignoring his comment.

“Mika is somewhere in the house I guess, and I just saw Tatsuha. Today I came to see you.”

“Oh thank you sir, it’s so much more than I deserve.” Yuki let out sarcastically, bowing low. Tohma’s face took that look that Yuki hated so much, as if he pitied him, “I don’t care whether you come to see me or my mother… as long as you do what I want.” Yuki went to him suddenly and threw the shorter man on the bed without warning. Tohma didn’t seem bothered or angry by it, and that made him even more annoyed. Roughly, the sixteen year old pulled the older man’s pants off and didn’t even bother with lubrication. Tohma grunted from the pain the forceful entry caused him, but otherwise did nothing. Yuki pulled in and out roughly, watching Tohma’s every wince with false satisfaction. Once it was over, he fell on the shorter man, panting, and wanting to die.

“Did that make you feel better?” Tohma asked lowly, after several minutes of unbearable silence.

“No!” Yuki whispered nauseatingly, holding his head in his hands. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what made him do it.

How could he tell this man who has given him everything, that he was jealous of a stupid six year old? And why was he so jealous of Tatsuha? Tohma’s arms wrapped around him as lovingly as always, sometimes it felt like pity rather than love, but that, as well, he couldn’t tell him…

XXX End of Flashback XXX

“I’m so fucked up…” Yuki opened his eyes as he came out of his memories. In fact, in every recollection, he was always being a bastard to somebody. “It’s a miracle people still talks to me.” He mused, lighting another cigarette and inhaling slowly, coming to terms to what he had to do.

X

Shuichi lay in bed waiting for his love to come back, he had looked so troubled when he left, that had been nearly impossible not to follow. After a few minutes of watching him just sitting in his car, the singer decided to give him space. He heard Yuki come in, and his heart jumped a beat, butterflies flew around in his stomach as if he was about to get yelled at for something.

Shuichi hoped Yuki wasn’t upset, it was so hard to read him sometimes–hell, all the time– he heard him walk around the apartment. Shu wanted to go and greet him, to tell him that everything was alright, but he knew he shouldn’t, that by making a big deal, things could get worst.


Finally Yuki came in the room, Shuichi pretended to be asleep, but as the seconds, and minutes went by, he began getting restless.

“I thought you went home.” Yuki’s deep voice began, he sounded so tired.

“I thought about it, but I decided to stay… does it bother you?” Shuichi replied while sitting up, there was not point in pretending anymore.

“No,” Yuki replied simply, sitting on the bed as well and taking off his shoes. His shirt came next and finally his pants; he took his cigarettes out of the pants’ pocket and lit one. Shuichi wanted to ask him if he was all right, but he didn’t want to seem clingy… damn! Relationships with men were as complicated as with women!

“Move over, I’m tired.” Yuki snapped, it didn’t sound threatening at all, it actually sounded endearing. Shuichi smiled and did as told. Yuki put out his cigarette, and laid back next to him.

“I do like you, I like you a lot.” Yuki began out of the blue. “And I wanted to be with you since I first saw you on TV.”

Shuichi didn’t dare open his mouth. The butterflies in his stomach returned full force.

“At first it was a mild sexual attraction, but it turned into a near obsession, I would stalk you around, and I even went as far as investigating you.”

Tears rimmed Shuichi’s eyes… he had to be dreaming… he had to!

“Hmph, I drew you, painted you, I thought of you almost every waking moment. To this day I have no idea how this… infatuation got so intense. At some point I couldn’t work, I couldn’t even sleep, that’s when I decided to meet you and bring you here. At the time, I still thought it was only a sexual thing, but when I saw you smile and realized who you were; I knew it wouldn’t be so simple. When it was all said and done, I was left with certain feelings that scared me. I couldn’t deal with them, so I did what I always do when I get scared… I pushed away. I pushed you away.” The blonde man paused for what it seemed like forever. Shuichi’s tears were falling freely on the pillow bellow. “The only time I’ve let anyone in ended up with him marrying my sister. I fell deep into him then, and I felt that I was doing it again when I met you-so I had to cut you loose. Before I could fall too deep into you.” Yuki admitted finally.

“Yuki…” Shuichi whispered.

“Don’t talk! “ Yuki snapped, “If you do, I might chicken out.” He stated. “I was jealous of Tatsuha, I’ve been ever since he was born. Even though I didn’t want to get involved with you out of my own cowardice, I couldn’t stand the thought of him taking yet another thing away from me… hmph… some great example I am,” Yuki chuckled sarcastically. Shuichi wanted to hold him so tight, but he was afraid to, “I’m tired, I can’t deal with this anymore. I just want to… live a normal life, have someone to care about, and who cares for me.”

“I care about you! I love you so much that I would die for you, I will stay by your side for as long as you’ll have me, and if you dump me, I’ll stalk you until you take me back!” Shuichi exclaimed passionately. He felt Yuki’s weak smile, the singer threw himself on the taller man and held him tight. He didn’t care anymore, he let the tears flow, and he cried like a little boy. If Yuki thought he was a pansy… too bad, he was happy and he had to show it.

“I guess you’ll have to do…” Yuki whispered, holding Shuichi’s chin, and bringing his face to meet his. They kissed tenderly at first, them more and more fiercely. There was no sleep that night, only passion.


XXX


It’s been four days since that horrible discovery. In which time Eiri had not had the decency to call. Mikka went through the wedding preparations as usual, as a means of keeping her mind occupied.

As the days went by, she went from utter despair, to denial, to anger, and all the while slowly regaining her focus. She had planned to confront Eiri and ridicule him and that bastard Shindou in front of the whole nation, playing her role as the victim of course… but oh, wouldn’t that make things a hell of a lot easier for them? After the media had their fun with them, and the storm dissipated, they’d be free to do as they pleased, and be together with no one to stop them, while she would be left high and dry. Oh no, Mikka Costa would not allow that! She’d confront Eiri all right, but he wouldn’t get away that easy.

Keys in the distant brought her out of her thoughts. She crawled out of the corner in which she’d hid herself from reality and ran to meet him just as he closed the front door. He turned, meeting her gaze with a confused one of his own. If Mikka didn’t know better, she’d think he was feeling guilt.

“Hey,” He greeted softly and set his keys in the same place he always did.

“Hey? Is that the greeting I get after almost a week without so much as a call?” She could still see his happy face as he slept in the arms of that bastard.

“I’m tired, I just came for some things and I’ll be on my way.” He walked to his studio, “I’m late with two of my manga.” He’d never felt the need to explain himself before, was he feeling that guilty? Mikka blocked his way so that he could not pass without physically moving her.

“Don’t you care to know how the wedding preparations are going?” To this, Yuki visibly paled. It’s not that he’d forgotten about it… how could he? He just didn’t want to think about it, or deal with it. He looked at her for a long time, trying to deciding what to do next; he was not prepared to confess, not out of cowardice, but more out of pity, he knew he had to sooner or later, but the later the better.

Mikka could see the turmoil in his eyes… did he care that much for that bastard? Would he throw away all the years they’ve shared together over a child? He gave a deep sigh that she could not read.

“We have to talk…” He began, and walked towards the sofa, standing by it, and waiting for her to sit first. Mikka did, and strangely enough, she was not afraid, or worried, or hurt anymore. In fact she was glad they’d get it all out in the air, and was anxious to see how Eiri would go about it.

“You know I love you.”

She felt like laughing. In fact she did laugh out loud. How ironic that the words he’s never uttered before would be the starter of his ‘confession’

“You’ve never said it before, so I don’t know.” She replied coldly.

“Well, I do. And its hard for me to say it, or even show it at times,” The mangaka continued lowly.

“At times?” Mikka retorted sarcastically. Funny how he didn’t seem to have any troubles showing it to that obnoxious idiot.

Yuki ignored her comment and continued lowly, “We’ve been together a long time. I can’t say that I’ve always loved you, but somehow you grew on me over time.” Mikka opened her mouth to object to his mind games, but was halted by his hand.

“Let me finish what I have to say… please.” He begged. “After we moved in together I thought I’d found someone who understood me somehow. I thought that I could learn to love you that I could hide from my loneliness with you. But eventually I realized that I could not do either, but even then I didn’t set you free. I didn’t want to admit that I was afraid of being alone.”

“So you used me.” Mikka stated nonchalantly.

“You could say that.”

“Is there any other definition?”

“Guess not… I won’t give you any excuses,” Eiri set his eyes on hers, and their depth was almost overwhelming. “I fell in love with someone else.” He blurted out suddenly.

Surprisingly Mikka didn’t feel like killing herself as she thought she would after hearing it from his own lips. Nor did she feel like a victim. She had brought this upon herself; all the signs were there, yet she refused to see them. And, every time she tried to speak of them, Eiri would drown her in pleasure, shutting everything out of her mind, with his lips and hands, and the charity fucks that she now realized were just that.

“Is Shindou Shuichi in love with you as well?” She asked icily, feeling a bit elated at the look of pure shock laced with fear in his face, “Oh, I know, and I know about Tohma as well.” Again that look, it made her feel so powerful. Finally the tables were turning.


Yuki heard her but it didn’t register at first. How in the hell did she found out? But the obvious answer came to smack him in the face. Naturally he couldn’t hate his sister for it, nor could he protest. He stood and walked to the window.

Eiri gazed out the window as she’d done so many times in the past. She allowed him plenty of time to digest her words.

“I can’t explain how or why exactly, all I know is that I need to be with him.” He turned to her with imploring eyes. His words cutting her insides, this was not the Eiri she knew, the cold, calculating, Eiri she wanted to suffer. “There are no words that could possibly explain or excuse what I’ve done to you, but you deserve to be free, to find someone who can appreciate you for what you’re truly worth.” She heard him speak, he seemed so honest, so concerned for her, it was almost laughable.

“I deserve to be free?” Mikka repeated with more than a hint of sarcasm. She wasn’t sad, she was past all that, nor did she feel humiliated or hurt anymore. She felt angry and jealous at the ability of that little boy to bring emotions from Eiri she’d never, in her wildest dreams thought of witnessing. And the worst part was, that it wasn’t her who brought them out, it was some little punk Eiri met a little while ago, whom the only thing he had going for himself was a stupid, catchy, love song! “What makes you think I want to be free, and what makes you think that I’ll make it so easy for you?” Eiri’s eyes opened a little wider in shock, then deepened in anger as he realized what she was implying.

“I’m not your sister. I will not let you go on and be happy with some little boy who’ll trade you for another idiot who gives him the time of day. In fact, I will tell you what I deserve. I deserve to walk down that aisle in my beautiful dress; I deserve to use you like you used me all these years. You were afraid to be alone you said? Well I’m afraid to be alone too. No, I don’t want to be free, and I don’t want anyone else to deserve my worth. I want you, and whether you shack up with that bastard is irrelevant. We will get married in three weeks, and we will have a life together whether you like it or not.” After finishing her statement, Mikka felt, as she hadn’t in years–if ever–she felt so invigorated, so empowered, as if she could climb mountains. Eiri was left speechless, staring at her in disbelief, and that made her feel even better.

“What if I refuse to play your game?” He finally asked tonelessly, noticeably trying to guise his shock and anger with indifference. How in all the years together she had not been able to notice that his indifference was just a front, that deep down he was a lost little sheep in need of guidance. But now, she could read him like a book. Now that there would be no sex to shut her up, no pleasure to distract her from their problems, no kisses and torturous caresses. Now that there was only Eiri, and his devious selfish self, he didn’t look so mighty anymore.

“If you don’t, I’ll drag you and your third rate lover through the mud. I’ll make sure your careers are finished… maybe even Tohma’s too. In the end, you’ll still end up with me.” He regarded her coldly; “Tell me Eiri, who would want a man capable of having an affair with his own sister’s husband? The stare in Eiri’s face turned hateful, “That’s right Eiri… me, I’m the only one who can love you in spite of all you’ve done to us all.”

Yuki watched her for a long time, not believing this woman in front of him was the same sweet girl who had stalked him in High School and never gave up on him ever since. The same whose warm embrace he could always escape to. He couldn’t blame her; he was harvesting the fruits of his own selfishness. He’d used her, and now had little room to complain or even expect anything from her. But to involve Shuichi and Tohma was so low.

He didn’t reply, couldn’t reply. Instead, he did what he did best… he escaped. He ran without looking back.

XXX

A/N: SHE SAID WHAT!? I cannot believe the nerve of some people! Just when you thought things were looking up for Shu!! Although, the fact that Mikka said those things doesn’t mean jack right, RIGHT? Eiri don’t give a shit right, RIGHT? He doesn’t listen to anybody right, RIGHT? I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. And picking up from last chapter… Will Hiro leave Tohma? OMG the suspense is killing me!!

I know many of you might have felt a little empty handed with Mika and Yuki’s reunion, but I thought about it and I don’t see the need to complicate it more than that, we’ll leave to fate what will become of that. Also I know Eiri seem like a whiny whore, but I feel that his OOC’ ness is necessary. Also I’d like to apologize for taking this long with updates, I have a lot going on right now, but fear not, I’m still alive and writing, so please be patient


Next Stop: Do you Believe? A lot will happen on this one, I cannot say for sure yet, what I can tell you that it will be long (rolls eyes) but not to worry we’re on the right track to the end. And again, sorry for taking so long!

Blue wonders: After reading these long chapters of mine, does anyone make it to this part? (Scratches head)