Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Cats, Crutches and Babies? Oh My! ❯ A Beautiful Mind ( Chapter 23 )

Warm, pillowy soft sleep shrouded Tatsuha's thoughts. He was blissfully hanging in that floating surreal dream world limbo, located somewhere between almost sleep and not quite awake. Thoughts of the past week drifted in and out of his head as he semi-consciously snuggled himself down in the covers, trying to convince himself that he should still be asleep and dreaming.

Ryu's pet buying ordeal had gone over well, and the small rabbit and fluffy kitten that had come home with them seemed to be doing fine and adjusting to their new penthouse environment.

Unlike his dashing good looks, Tatsuha did not share his brothers apparent loathing of living things, but he saw himself as more of a dog person. The kitten, which Ryu had promptly (and rather unimaginatively) named Kitty upon arrival at the penthouse, was cute, but it was not as cute as a snuggly scampering puppy would be.

 

Pets had never been allowed at the temple while he had been growing up, and so he had never actually owned a dog before, but when he was younger Tatsuha would secretly steal food and scraps from the kitchen to feed to an old stray that lived around his elementary school. Flops, he had named it, because it's ears were long and floppy.

It would wait for him just outside the school grounds and happily munch the food it would receive while a young Tatsuha would get his fill of scratching and petting it's furry body.

The young monk remembered one birthday in particular, his ninth, that for one reason or another, he was certain that he was getting a puppy. He had been so excited that he couldn't sleep for the entire week leading up to his birthday. When he finally opened his present and found a few action figures, a small stack of manga and a big bag of his favorite soda candy he couldn't help but be disappointed.

After that day, the boy had vowed that someday, he would own his very own dog. Though years had past since his boyish declaration, Tatsuha still very much wanted one and was a little bummed out that Ryu had decided on a kitten instead. But it was his house and his life, so the monk left it at that and didn't try and change the singers mind. Kitty was still quite cute in his antics, sneaking and stalking things around the penthouse, but he was just not as cute a puppy would have been.

 

It was around the time that Ryuichi came striding back into the bedroom, fresh from the shower that Tatsuha decided to give up sleep and dedicated himself to being awake. What did he need dreams for when he had Ryuichi dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist right in front of him? The lecherous monk propped himself up on his elbow, his hand disappearing somewhere behind his hair to support his neck, as he watched his lover wander about the room gathering clothes and getting ready for…

What was he getting ready for?

 

“Hey gorgeous what's got you up and about at such an ungodly hour, hmm?” Tatsuha asked slyly, trying to see if he could coax Ryu back from the world of work, and into the realm of mid morning sex.

 

The singer disappeared into his massive closet for a few minutes and Tatsuha assumed that he hadn't heard him at all, so he just continued to lounge around in the king sized bed while he waited for Ryuichi to reemerge.

 

When said singer did come back out of the closet Tatsuha had to look twice to make sure it was still him. The singer was wearing what looked to be tight, ass-less (and front less) black leather chaps over red lycra bike shorts, a black striped maroon neck tie and a black, tight knit, sleeveless turtleneck.

 

“Whoa wherever you're going in that, please take me with you!” The monk gasped as his eyes continued to roam over his lovers flawlessly clothed body.

 

“Okay.” The brown haired man muttered as he continued inserting earrings into the various holes in his ears.

 

“What?”

 

Ryuichi finished putting in his last earring, a tiny silver loop with a red ball in the upper cartilage of his left ear, and then turned around to speak face to face with Tatsuha.

 

“I said you can come with me, if that's what you want.”

Ryu said this as though he were talking to a child, which to Tatsuha sounded rather strange. It was often he that was talking as though to a little kid, not the other way around.

 

`He must be going to do something for work today or he wouldn't be acting so seriously' Tatsuha thought as Ryu walked back into his closet for something.

But wouldn't that mean, he wasn't acting today instead of what he normally did? The monk was starting to confuse himself again, thinking about which personality was the real Ryuichi and which one was the act. He had to get some answers out of Ryu soon or he was going to go mad.

 

The black haired young man threw back the blankets and hopped out of bed, rushing to catch his lover as he exited the room.

 

“Hey just hold on a second Ryu!,” he called as he trotted after his lover. Ryuichi was down the hallway and into the living room by the time he stopped to listen.

Ryu turned and, over his bare right shoulder, fixed Tatsuha with his steely blue eyes. “What?” He demanded icily.

 

Tatsuha had never been on the receiving end of one of Sakuma's bad moods, but he had a feeling that what he was about to instigate was going to give him the chance to experience it first hand.

 

“Ryu we need to talk about something.” The monk reached his hand out to his lover in hopes that the older man would take it.

 

“About what?” Ryu asked, his hard eyes softening ever so slightly. “I don't really have time for a heart to heart right now. Can't this wait until later?”

Tatsuha walked over and took him by the hand.

 

“No Ryuichi this can't wait. I've waited long enough.” He said as he lead the singer over to the candy striped couch, “I don't really know how to talk to you about this, and I don't want to hurt you accidentally by making you talk about things you don't want to. But I need you to at least try to talk to me.”

 

The brown haired singer crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back into the corner of the couch. He gave Tatsuha a bemused sideways glance and shrugged his shoulders. “Alright you have my ears. I guess if it's this important to you then I need to listen.”

 

“Thank you. Now I don't know how to begin so I'll just come right out a ask you. Why do you act like a five year old all the time?”

 

Ryu's eyes widened and his grip on his arms tightened.

“I, I don't know what you're talking about.” He said quickly as he averted his eyes.

 

“What do you mean you don't know! You have to know! You do it all the time! Why?” Tatsuha cried agitatedly. He figured he wasn't going to get the answer out of the singer, but Ryu was being outright stupid. He had to know he was doing it. He had to!

 

“I said I don't know what you're talking about na no da!” Ryu screamed back as he stood abruptly and clenched his fists at his sides, tears now forming in the corners of his eyes.

 

“Ryu please calm down,” Tatsuha said softly as he stood to embrace the older man in his arms, “I didn't mean to yell at you I just want you to help me understand what's wrong.”

 

Ryuichi swung his arm out angrily and smacked Tatsuha's advancing hug away from himself.

“Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me! You don't know!” He shrieked as tears flowed from his eyes. He wrapped himself in his arms and huddled in on himself.

 

Tatsuha was extremely shocked by the mans behavior and for a moment he didn't know what to do. He started towards his lover again, determined to get him to calm down. “Ryu please come here. Let`s just take deep breaths and-”

 

“No!!” Ryu backed up away from Tatsuha's arms.

“I said I don't want you to touch me! Please just stay there! I can`t do this! I can`t!”

 

Tatsuha stayed right were he was, but he wasn't going to back down from this. He was certain now that whatever it was that had Ryuichi so screwed up was near the surface and that it needed to come out.

“You can't what Ryuichi?”

 

Ryu kept backing up until his back hit the wall. He slid down and hugged his knees to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.

 

“Kuma says I shouldn't have to talk about it! He says it's bad na no da! I'm not allowed to talk about it!”

Ryu gently began to rock himself back and forth against the wall. He continued to repeat his last few words in a soft mantra as he cried into his folded arms.

 

Tatsuha slowly knelt beside the older man. Ryu pulled himself in tighter, but didn't shy away from his lovers arms as they gently eased themselves around his trembling body.

 

“Oh my Ryuichi.” Tatsuha cried softly, tears falling from doleful eyes as he stroked his lovers hair and back. “Who did this to you?”

 

Ryu's arms shot out and wrapped themselves around the young monks back and he fiercely nuzzled himself into the boys comforting embrace.

 

For nearly ten minutes the two of them just sat there and wept, holding each other tight. Ryu cried because he didn't know what to do, and Tatsuha cried because Ryuichi was hurt and crying.

 

After a while though Ryu's sobs became less violent and Tatsuha took the opportunity to wipe his eyes. He was sorry had even brought the topic up now.

 

“Ta-kun?” Ryuichi asked as he continued to huddle against his lovers warmth.

 

“Are you feeling better now?” Tatsuha asked hopefully, as he looked down to see if his lover had stopped crying.

Ryuichi shook his head slowly up and down, but did not relinquish his firm grip on Tatsuha.

 

“I…I need Kumagoro. Please?”

 

Tatsuha wasn't surprised that the singer would want his companion after an ordeal like that.

 

“Do you want me to go get him? Or do you want to go lay down in the bedroom? Maybe it would make you feel better, hmm?”

 

Ryuichi nodded his head slowly and started to stand, pulling Tatsuha up with him.

They walked back to the bedroom slowly, Ryu clinging tightly to his young lover as though if he let go the boy would disappear.

 

Tatsuha led them both over to the bed and laid Ryu down next to Kumagoro. The singer rolled over and clutched the rabbit to his chest, muttering to it very quickly in words that Tatsuha couldn't make out.

The young monk lay down next to his love and spooned his back, wrapping an arm around him and the bunny clutched against his chest.

 

Ryuichi stopped talking to Kuma and snuggled back against Tatsuhas long protective form.

 

“Kuma says …that he's got something to say to you Ta-kun.” said Ryu as he lightly played with the hair on his lovers arm.

 

“Okay then. Tell him that I'm listening.”

 

Ryu mumbled something and hugged the rabbit tightly.

Then he began to speak, his voice lowered back to it's normal tone.

 

“This is hard for him and I to talk about to you, but for Ryus sake I need to say it, because he can't” The singer said, talking in third person.

 

Tatsuha was vaguely creeped out by the way the singer talked about himself like that, as he sounded much like he did when he was being serious. But he just pushed his feelings aside and listened to what Ryu- Kumagoro had to say.

 

“When he was still little, Ryu's parents used to fight all the time. When they thought that Ryu was asleep, they would yell and scream, but he always heard them. They fought about money, they fought about work and they fought about him.”

 

Tatsuha could do nothing, but listen as “Kumagoro” spoke. This was the first time he had ever heard “the rabbit” speak.

 

“I used to spend lots of time with Ryu when he was younger, but I never talked to him before. One night during summer while we were playing in Ryu's room, Ryu heard his mommy and daddy screaming again. There were lots of shouts and yells and loud banging, smashing noises coming from the kitchen. Ryu wanted to know what they were fighting about…so…he crawled closer to the door and put his ear to it.”

“Kumagoro”'s voice began to waiver and crack as he talked, sobs threatening to break loose.

“He couldn't hear their words very well, so he opened his door and dragged me out to the stairs with him. We crawled down the stairs, being very quiet and peeked around the corner of the kitchen. And that's when…when……Ryu's daddy …pulled the gun out of his pants…and shot…he shot…Ryu's mommy in the chest with it.”

 

Ryu was sobbing now, but still he kept making “Kuma” tell the story, his voice sounding wet and broken.

 

Tatsuha was crying as well by this point, Having a very difficult time with what Ryu's rabbit had to say. He hugged his lover as tight as he could and dared to listen to the rest. When Ryu started to talk again, his voice clear. He was no longer speaking in third person…he was so out of it with grief he forgot.

 

“I remember what she looked like…when she fell. There was blood …all over the wall and floor; so much blood. I didn't know there was that much blood in somebody's body. I just couldn't look away from it. I couldn't cry out, I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. I was so scared. And then my father…looked at me,” Ryu reached his hand out, his voice sounding sickened as he spoke, as if he was trying to grasp the memory in front of his eyes, “He looked right at me,… And he said…that he was sorry. Then he…put the gun in his mouth…and…and…I just couldn`t watch. I heard the gun go off. I heard his body hit the floor. But still I kept my eyes squeezed shut. I wanted it all to go away. To just be a bad dream…But when I opened my eyes, they were both still there. The floor was just one big pool of blood, everywhere…And then I looked away…and Kuma was there. He talked to me, and told me his name. He said he wouldn't ever leave me alone like my mommy and daddy did. And he hasn't ever left. He protects me and talks for me when I can't think about things anymore Tatsuha.…He's such a good friend Tatsuha… just like you. So good…so…good… ”

 

Ryu stopped talking and lay still, his body going slack against Tatsuha and the bed. The black haired man was to horrified by what he had just witnessed to even move. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to do.

Ryuichi's breathing leveled out and Tatsuha knew he was asleep.

He'd gotten the answers he was searching so desperately for, but at what price?

For the second time that morning, Tatsuha regretted that he had ever woken up.

 

*~~*

Sorry this took so long to finish everyone, but I got distracted by exams and my trip to Anime Expo 2007 in CA. Man what a trip that was! We got to see Gackt, Miyavi, Sugizo and Yoshiki perform live in their new Band S.K.I.N.! And they was sooo uber sexy! Their first concert ever on the planet and we were there! *dies* And not to mention the great con! I was a little disappointed because there was only one Shuichi cosplayer there! 1!

Other than that it was like being in heaven for four straight days…and man did it rock! I got to see a Raoul cosplayer from Ai no Kusabi and I proceeded to glomp her mercilessly every time I saw her…

I also got all but two of the remaining pins for my Gravitation Pin Collection. I only need two more and I will have the complete set! As well I bought the two newly release Gravi wall scrolls (which are gorgeous! ^_^) and the remixes were there too…so desperately there, but I couldn't buy them because I wasn't 18! I just about pulled my hair out! So anyways it was a great time and it was a long ways away from home, but it was worth it! If any of you guys were there let me know, I might have saw you! Hope you like this chapter…it took a lot out of me to write it…