Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Charisma, Maybe ❯ Not Even in My Wildest Dreams ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Title: Not even in my wildest dreams

Yes another chapter. I know my chapters are rather short, but that's the style that feels best right now. Also, I know I could benefit from more details, but I'm not at that point in my writing yet.

Anyways, expect more Suguru torture this chapter.
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After that, I tried to ignore and swallow whatever it was I was feeling. Which worked for a few days. Everything was just peachy in fact, save for the odd looks Shindou was now giving me. I chose to ignore them, thinking that he was just flaking out. Or maybe he still couldn't believe that someone had actually and truly called him on his behavior for once.

That thought only comforted me for a little bit though. Until the dream I had last night. Until the reason I called in sick this morning and got yelled at over the phone for 30 minutes before I convinced Sakano and K that I really wasn't well. No one would be well after that!

It started off slowly and sweetly. It was a hot summer afternoon at the park… Well, I don't know which park, it was a dream after all. Well anyways, I was sitting on a bench by myself, when suddenly Shindou walks up to me, smiling.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long." He says as he sits down next to me. I merely shake my head and smile back at him.

"No." He places an arm around my shoulder and I lean against him, feeling incredibly happy. He begins to brush his fingers through my hair and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I start giggling after a little bit and suddenly stand up, my hands clasped behind my back. "Shu-ichi." I say his name teasingly, causing him to look at me questioningly.

"What?" I bend down and whisper into his ear.

"If you catch me, you get a kiss." Before he can say anything, I tap him on the nose and say, "Tag." I begin running and can hear him chasing after me. I run for what seems like hours, enjoying myself, until a thought enters my head.

/ If you want to be caught, why are you running? /

I stop in confusion, but before I can ponder that thought, I'm tackled from behind and…

…wake up.

I spent the rest of the night walking around in a stupor, trying to figure out why I had dreamed that. Something so sappy and involving Shindou. And even this morning, after having choked down breakfast, I still can't swallow it. I refuse to.

What is wrong with me? Why am I acting this way? Why should I even care? It was just a stupid kiss and that was just a stupid dream.

And Shuichi Shindou's just a stupid idiot. Always smiling that stupid smile, crying those useless tears and laughing in that annoying way that only he can laugh. He dyes his hair that weird shade of pink and when he's on stage wears those ugly, slutty clothes. He thinks he's Ryuichi Sakuma but he's not, he thinks he can be as good as Tohma, but he can't be. He's just…

He's just so stupid, yet sometimes he can be so nice, so you feel sorry for him. He tries so hard and doesn't always realize how cruel he's being. He doesn't act like it, but deep down, he takes everything so seriously. He hates to see his loved ones suffer and will do whatever it takes to make it better, though he usually ends up making it worse. He's just so frustrating that way.

/ So why should he bug me so much? Why? Am I jealous? Do I hate him? Or am I in..?

And where the hell did that thought come from? /

I feel faint at that moment, as if I'm going to be sick. It just can't be. That is an impossibility! How can I even think that I feel that way?

Then again, considering the way I have been acting over the kiss and the dream last night…

But, dreams don't mean anything, do they? Maybe I should ask someone. Like Tohma or Hiro. Or even Shindou. Which is an insane thought, but I can't ask just anyone. It has to be someone who knows about love. And those are the only three I can ask. Yeah, I'll do that tomorrow, after a good night's sleep.


But, if I go to sleep, I might dream again. Another weird dream at that. But, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Not because I want to be dreaming things like that, but because maybe I'll figure out what these thoughts and feelings mean. Yes, for educational purposes, that would be the best course to take. I don't want to dream because it might be enjoyable. At least that's what I tell myself.
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To Be Continued…
No Shuichi this chapter…
Well, technically he did appear, but then he didn't. Gosh, even in dreams, Shu-chan's ruining Suguru's life.