Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Crossroads ❯ Closure? ( Chapter 3 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: shuichi77 
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.28.2013 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 155 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.28.2013 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 155 | Status: Completed
Shuichi ran aimlessly with tear filled eyes until his legs finally gave out and he fell to his knees. He sat there for a moment to catch his breath and calm his tears, all the while a slurry of mixed feelings raged inside him. Once he was finally able to clear his eyes enough to see, he found himself sitting on the cold concrete of a dimly lit sidewalk in the middle of a park. He quickly jerked his head in all directions before slumping over completely, slamming his fists onto the pavement as he realized where he was; the singer now found himself in the very same place where he met Yuki for the very first time.
“Damn it! Why?! Why did I come here!?”
Shuichi then began bawling uncontrollably at the fact that his legs once again subconsciously led him to memories of Yuki. He sat there crying for what seemed like hours until he was finally able to gather his strength and stagger to his feet. It took him another few minutes to be able to actually force his legs to move toward the direction of home. For the entire walk home his mind was filled with so many racing thoughts and questions.
‘Why…? I just want to know why…why did he call me by my name? Why did he kiss me? He is such a jerk…’ As he got closer to home Shuichi was able to slow his racing his thoughts but didn’t realize the shift of attitude they were beginning to make.
‘Why…does he live by my parent’s house…why didn’t he tell me he was back in Japan? Why wouldn’t he even try to contact me? Why did he leave in the first place…?” Shuichi quickly shook his head wildly as he realized what he was thinking, trying to shake the thoughts from his head.
“No! No no no! He is an asshole, I don’t care that he is back in Japan! I love Ryuichi!”
He soon found himself in front of the large studio apartment that he shared with Ryuichi. As he stared up at the brightly lit window of their living room, he took a moment to take a very deep breath and calm himself down. He then climbed up the two flights of stairs to reach their apartment. As soon as he opened the door he was promptly tackled to the floor by the hyper brunette.
“Shuichi! Welcome home!” The pink haired boy couldn’t help but to laugh at his lover that had him pinned to the floor with a huge smile stretched across his face.
“Hey Ryuichi.”
“How did your recording go today? You’re home late so it must have gone well.”
“Yeah it was a good day. Hiro and Suguru were really the only one’s recording though; I spent most of the day trying to get all the new lyrics written.” Shuichi did his best to keep his cool and keep a straight face as he talked to his lover; he had never lied to Ryuichi before and he definitely did not like the feeling of doing so.
“Well I hope you got some good writing done Shui-chan.” It almost pained Shuichi to see his idol smile so sincerely at his lie.
“I actually didn’t get too much done; I’m having a bit of writers block.” Ryuichi then gave the pink haired boy a few soft pats of encouragement on his head.
“You can do it.” Shuichi was finally able to give a genuine smile to the brunette; Ryuichi was always the only one that ever truly believed in him and he needed it now more than ever.
“Thanks Ryu-chan.” Ryuichi then climbed off of his lover and bounced his way into the large modern kitchen and began rustling through the refrigerator.
“Are you hungry?” Shuichi sat up to call back but still remained seated firmly on the floor.
“No, I’m ok.” Ryuichi then took a few steps out of the kitchen and leaned slightly against the wall that separated their kitchen from the living room.
“Would you like to go to bed then?” Ryuichi had now made a dramatic shift from his bubbly childish self to his very seductive adult side. Shuichi saw his lover give him a shot from his lusty purple eyes; just the new seductive tone to his voice alone was enough to make all his thoughts of Yuki quickly melt away.
“Yeah.”
The brunette then walked over to where Shuichi was sitting and extended a small slender hand to him, picking him straight up off the floor taking him a little by surprise; Shuichi often forgot that Ryuichi was actually much older and stronger than he was. They both then made their way to the large master bedroom hand in hand. The whole way Shuichi had a large grin on his face knowing what came after Ryuichi’s random shifts into super sexy singing god mode. Upon arriving into the over-sized bedroom Shuichi made his way into the large attached bathroom to change into his sleeping shorts and a small tank top. As Shuichi was decided exactly which shorts to wear, his mind went back to his idol just on the other side of the bathroom door and the ‘mode’ that he was in so he made sure to pick out Ryuichi’s favorite pair of super short super tight shorts to wear. Once dressed Shuichi slowly opened the door and mustered a seductive grin. Once he fully opened the door however, he looked to the bed to see a very asleep Ryuichi curled up in a ball with his Kumagoro clutched tightly to his chest. Shuichi was slightly disappointed at the sight but only for a moment; he couldn’t stay disappointed at the sight of just how adorable Ryuichi was when he slept. He then decided it was actually probably for the best that he tried to get some sleep so he quietly crawled into bed and snuggled in closely to his sleeping partner, taking in the intoxicating smell of strawberries that always emanated from the brunette. It only took a few minutes for Shuichi to drift blissfully off to sleep with all the memories of his horrible day now almost completely lost from his mind.
Shuichi awoke suddenly in the early morning as the sun was rising in a cold sweat and breathing heavily, being haunted once again by his reoccurring dream. He was slightly relieved though when he looked over to see that it was nine o’clock and Ryuichi had already left for the studio for the day. He took a moment to catch his breath before climbing out of bed and into the bathroom. He walked over to the sink and turned it on to splash some cool water on his face to try and wake himself up. As he stared into the mirror he couldn’t help but to let his thoughts be dragged back to his dream and even worse, his encounter with the blonde yesterday. As his memories of yesterday came flooding back, small tears of anger trickled down his already red cheeks.
“Damn it…Hiro really was right. I have to face him…I have to get answers…I have to tell him how much I hate him. Then I can get my closure…I have to do it!”
Shuichi then proceeded back into the bedroom and rustled through the dresser drawers for something to wear. After a few minutes of searching he finally decided on just a simple t shirt and his one of his regular pairs of tan shorts. He quickly got dressed and rushed out of the apartment. He hustled his way down the stairs and began walking briskly toward his destination; he was hoping that this time he could prepare what he wanted to say and get this whole ordeal over with and still have enough time to get to the studio and get some work done. As he was walking he decided he should at least let Hiro know what was going on so he pulled the small cell phone from his pocket and dialed the red heads number.
“Hello?”
“Hey Hiro.”
“Hey Shuichi, you know you’re late right?”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I might not make it to the studio today. I’m going to try though.”
“I see. I’m guessing you’re going to see Yuki?”
“Yeah…”
“Alright, good luck. I’ll let Sakano know.”
“Thanks Hiro.”
“No problem.”
*click*
By the time Shuichi hung up the phone he was already once again standing in front of the author’s home. He stood on the sidewalk for a moment, taking a deep breath and taking this time to actually prepare his thoughts. This time he was going to make sure not to let the blonde get the better of him. After his moment of confidence building, he made his way boldly to the front door and knocked loudly. The seconds ticked by and all the while his heart rate kept climbing higher and higher. Shuichi was so focused on his thoughts and his racing heart that he jumped slightly in surprise when the door finally swung open. His heart then almost stopped as he found himself face to face once again with the man that had been haunting him for so long. Shuichi quickly noticed that Yuki was different this time however; the blonde looked like he hadn’t slept, his hair was a mess and he didn’t even have a cigarette in his mouth, which was a rare sight to see.
“H-hey Yuki.” Shuichi was doing his best to sound firm but his voice was still slightly shaky.
“What do you want?” Shuichi was slightly taken aback by the cold tone he received from the blonde; granted it was more like his normal self but it was still quite a shift from yesterday.
“Um, I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“A lot of things.”
“Like what?” Shuichi was now beginning to get a little frustrated with the blonde’s cold tone and aloof attitude.
“I don’t know Yuki… I just want to talk to you.”
“Why?” Shuichi had then finally had enough of this.
“Gah! Never mind! If you aren’t going to talk to me then I’m leaving! You’re still just an asshole Yuki!” Shuichi then turned around and began to storm away but he was stopped abruptly by a firm grip on his arm.
“Wait…” Shuichi quickly whipped around, still in the blonde’s grasp, to see that his demeanor had shifted once again to much more solemn one.
“What?!”
“You can come in…if you want to talk.” Yuki then shot the singer a sad glare from those beautiful golden eyes and Shuichi could feel himself begin to get lost in those eyes.
“O-ok…”
Yuki then released the boy from his grasp and turned to walk inside, with Shuichi following at a safe distance behind him. Shuichi gently closed the front door behind him before following Yuki into the living room. As Shuichi looked around the home he noticed that it was much smaller than Yuki’s place and not nearly as nice or modern. The blonde then made his way to his large leather couch that occupied most of the small living room and immediately lit a cigarette. Shuichi looked around for another place to sit, not wanting to share the couch with the blonde, but found nothing so he decided to just stand opposite of Yuki making sure that he was a few feet in front of him.
“So what did you want to talk about?” The blonde now had a very familiar indifferent tone.
“Well… I came to tell you that you are a jerk!” Yuki was genuinely a little surprised by this and his expression showed it
“Is that really all you came here for?”
“Well…um…” Shuichi suddenly found that his resolve was quickly fading away as his eyes locked with golden ones.
“What Shuichi?”
“Well I guess I do have some questions…”
“Ok then, ask.” Shuichi then swallowed hard and tried to fight back the tears welling up in his eyes as so many painful questions came to mind.
“Yuki…Why did you leave the way you did? I just woke up that day…and you were gone.” Then blonde then took a long drag on his cigarette before replying.
“You want to know the truth?”
“Yes!” Yuki then let out a sigh before deciding that he had nothing to lose at this point so there was no point in hiding anymore.
“That night before I left…you went to sleep and I told you that I had to finish writing to meet my deadline. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah…”
“Well I lied.”
“About what?”
“I wasn’t working on my book. I was writing a song.”
“A song?”
“Yes. That night after you went to sleep, there was a re-run on the TV of you and Ryuichi singing the song that I wrote for Nittle Grasper. Then I remembered…how happy you were when you figured out that it was meant for you to sing. So…I wanted to write you a song to…” The blonde stopped abruptly to run one of his hands through his hair in frustration; being this open was never something that he was very good at or enjoyed.
“To what Yuki?” Shuichi’s tone was now almost a pleading one.
“To tell you exactly how I feel. To show you how much I…love you.” Shuichi could no longer fight back his tears and he let them begin to stream down his face.
“Then why Yuki? Why did you leave?!”
“When I finished writing it, I read it over and over again. After the tenth time reading it…I finally realized that I was in love with you Shuichi. Once I realized that…I…” Yuki was now struggling to bring up the words; he felt weak and pathetic, things that he had never felt before.
“You what?!” It was now taking all of Shuichi’s strength not become completely hysterical.
“I got scared. I didn’t want to love somebody again. The last time I loved someone…he betrayed me and then died. I didn’t ever want to feel any of those feelings again. The only thing I could think to do at that point was to just leave.” Yuki then stuffed his cigarette roughly into the ash tray and tried desperately not to lock his sight onto the pink haired boy bawling in front of him.
“T-then why did you come back?!”
“I don’t want to talk anymore.” Yuki could feel himself beginning to lose his cool so he decided he had to stop this conversation before it got any further but Shuichi was not about to let that happen.
“NO! You tell me right now Yuki! Stop being a coward!” Those words ignited anger inside the blond so he then decided if Shuichi wanted the truth so badly then he could have it.
“Shut up you damn brat! I came back because I wanted to!”
“But why Yuki?!” Yuki then rested his head slightly in one of his hands, let out a long sigh and actually allowed a few small tears to roll down his cheeks.
“After living in America for a whole year…I realized that no matter what I did or how hard I tried…I couldn’t escape you. I tried everything: girls, guys, drinking, hell I even went back home for a while and tried meditation; but I still found myself looking over my shoulder everywhere I went waiting to see your stupid face come around a corner, I came home every night waiting to hear your obnoxious voice welcome me home. I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I came back and I bought this house hoping that you had moved back with your parents. After I found out that you hadn’t, I gave up. But…I have still been at every one of your shows…every concert, every record release…” The blonde then paused for a moment before finally looking up at the singer with tears still filling his eyes. “I never stopped loving you Shuichi….”
Shuichi couldn’t believe what he was hearing and his tears had stopped now, replaced with a state of incapacitating shock; for the first time in his life, Shuichi was speechless. All this information was bouncing around so fast in his brain that he felt like he just might explode. He then felt his knees begin to shake and buckle beneath him and all the blood rush to his head. He couldn’t even fight the feeling and almost collapsed onto the hard floor. He was stopped however just as he was beginning to fall, as Yuki swiftly leaned forward on the couch to catch Shuichi by the arm and yanked him roughly toward him. Shuichi flew forward to land right on top of the blonde’s lap and now found himself staring into golden eyes only a few inches away from his face. In that instant, Shuichi’s reoccurring dream flooded his mind and his body then seemed to go into auto pilot as he pressed his lips firmly against Yuki’s, much to the blonde’s surprise. Yuki was never the less eager to return the kiss, reveling in feel of the lips that he had never forgotten. It didn’t take long for Yuki to remember everything that he had missed about the small boy on his lap and all of a sudden it felt as though nothing had ever changed between them. Shuichi finally broke free of the kiss for air much to Yuki’s displeasure. After the boy caught his breath, he was finally able to attempt to speak.
“Y-Yuki…I…” As he looked into Yuki’s eyes, Shuichi suddenly saw a small spark in them that made his stomach drop.
“Shut up.”
The next thing Shuichi knew, Yuki had shoved him down hard onto the couch pinning him down by his shoulders. Shuichi began to panic slightly as Yuki wasted no time in completely removing his t-shirt but his panic was quickly replaced with a light fluttering feeling in his stomach when Yuki caught onto his lips once again. Shuichi felt his whole body melt into the kiss; it wasn’t at all like Yuki used to kiss him, this kiss was different, filled with heat and passion. Shuichi became lost in it until one of Yuki’s hands clamped down firmly onto one of his small nipples causing him to moan lightly into the blonde’s mouth. Yuki then broke free of the singer’s lips and removed both of his hands completely so that Shuichi was no longer pinned down to the couch. He then climbed from on top of the pink haired boy before leaning back on the couch, propping himself up in the corner of it so that he was half way between laying down and sitting up with one of his legs hanging over the edge and the other stretched out along the couch. Shuichi quickly shot up in complete confusion.
“Yuki what the hell?!”
The blonde responded by grabbing him by the arm once again, this time yanking the singer to be lying on top of him. Shuichi was snapped out of his confusion as he again found his lips and tongue entangled with the older man’s. Their tongues fought for dominance revisiting every crevice of each other. Shuichi then felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as Yuki pulled hard on his hair, wrenching his head backwards.
“Ow!”
Yuki then released his handful of pink hair and Shuichi lurched his head back forward to look at the blonde with a stern face. That’s when he saw an absolutely devilish glint in Yuki’s eyes and looked down slightly to realize that he had become so lost in their kiss that he didn’t even notice that Yuki had now unbutton and unzipped his jeans allowing the large bulge in his boxers to be released. Yuki then gave a sly grin before shoving the singer’s head downwards towards his lap. Shuichi attempted to fight back but was no match for the man’s strength; as his head was being shoved lower and lower he realized that he wasn’t just fighting Yuki’s strength but he was also fighting his own burning desire. He then finally gave in to both and allowed Yuki to push his head all the way down to his groin. Shuichi couldn’t fight his feelings any longer and he pulled down slightly on the blonde’s boxers just enough to release Yuki’s very large erect member. Shuichi gave one quick glance up to the blonde before flicking his tongue gently across the sensitive tip of his cock.
“Nnn…”
That one subtle groan from the blonde caused a grin to cut across Shuichi’s face before running his soft tongue slowly up the entire length of Yuki’s member. He then took its entire length into his mouth causing the blonde to lean his head back and let out a deep groan. Shuichi began gently swirling his tongue all around the wonderful organ in his mouth. Yuki then grabbed onto the boy’s hair once again shoving his head down onto his cock, almost choking him, then eased the pressure to allow him bob his head slowly up and down the length of his erection. Shuichi loved the feeling of the perfect amount of pressure from the blonde pulling on his hair and it caused him to moan loudly around his erection sending blissful vibrations through it. This caused Yuki to begin to buck his hips hard up into the warm moist cavern that surrounded him. Shuichi then quickened his pace to be in time with Yuki’s thrusts. He then gave one last slow bob of his head, while swirling his tongue all around, that drove the blonde over the edge and made him release himself into the singer’s mouth.
“Nnnnn….”
Shuichi made sure to swallow the entire mouthful with the exception of a few small drops that he proceeded to seductively lick of his soft pink lips. It was then only an instant before Shuichi was firmly pinned on his back to the couch once again. Yuki then locked their lips in a rough kiss as one of his hands made its way down to the boy’s hips to begin to pull on his small tan shorts. Shuichi found himself once again lost in the bliss of the situation but something suddenly made his eye grow wide. It was the sound of Ryuichi’s voice. Shuichi quickly broke free of the kiss and shot his gaze over to the television set to see a video of Ryuichi playing on the screen. He was then almost drowned in a flood of guilt and he felt as though he might vomit.
“Yuki stop.” The singer attempted to remove Yuki’s hand from his shorts but it wouldn’t budge.
“Why should I?”
“Because I can’t do this. I am with Ryuichi now. I can’t do this to him.” Shuichi was then able to muster enough strength to move the blonde’s hand and sit up on the couch. “I’m sorry Yuki but this isn’t right…”
Panic then quickly began to set back in as Shuichi was shoved very hard back onto his back, this time with Yuki using all his strength to pin him down.
“Well, you should have thought about that before you started this.” Shuichi then saw a very scary look in Yuki’s eyes and en even scarier tone to his voice.
“I’m not going to let you go again.”
“Damn it! Why?! Why did I come here!?”
Shuichi then began bawling uncontrollably at the fact that his legs once again subconsciously led him to memories of Yuki. He sat there crying for what seemed like hours until he was finally able to gather his strength and stagger to his feet. It took him another few minutes to be able to actually force his legs to move toward the direction of home. For the entire walk home his mind was filled with so many racing thoughts and questions.
‘Why…? I just want to know why…why did he call me by my name? Why did he kiss me? He is such a jerk…’ As he got closer to home Shuichi was able to slow his racing his thoughts but didn’t realize the shift of attitude they were beginning to make.
‘Why…does he live by my parent’s house…why didn’t he tell me he was back in Japan? Why wouldn’t he even try to contact me? Why did he leave in the first place…?” Shuichi quickly shook his head wildly as he realized what he was thinking, trying to shake the thoughts from his head.
“No! No no no! He is an asshole, I don’t care that he is back in Japan! I love Ryuichi!”
He soon found himself in front of the large studio apartment that he shared with Ryuichi. As he stared up at the brightly lit window of their living room, he took a moment to take a very deep breath and calm himself down. He then climbed up the two flights of stairs to reach their apartment. As soon as he opened the door he was promptly tackled to the floor by the hyper brunette.
“Shuichi! Welcome home!” The pink haired boy couldn’t help but to laugh at his lover that had him pinned to the floor with a huge smile stretched across his face.
“Hey Ryuichi.”
“How did your recording go today? You’re home late so it must have gone well.”
“Yeah it was a good day. Hiro and Suguru were really the only one’s recording though; I spent most of the day trying to get all the new lyrics written.” Shuichi did his best to keep his cool and keep a straight face as he talked to his lover; he had never lied to Ryuichi before and he definitely did not like the feeling of doing so.
“Well I hope you got some good writing done Shui-chan.” It almost pained Shuichi to see his idol smile so sincerely at his lie.
“I actually didn’t get too much done; I’m having a bit of writers block.” Ryuichi then gave the pink haired boy a few soft pats of encouragement on his head.
“You can do it.” Shuichi was finally able to give a genuine smile to the brunette; Ryuichi was always the only one that ever truly believed in him and he needed it now more than ever.
“Thanks Ryu-chan.” Ryuichi then climbed off of his lover and bounced his way into the large modern kitchen and began rustling through the refrigerator.
“Are you hungry?” Shuichi sat up to call back but still remained seated firmly on the floor.
“No, I’m ok.” Ryuichi then took a few steps out of the kitchen and leaned slightly against the wall that separated their kitchen from the living room.
“Would you like to go to bed then?” Ryuichi had now made a dramatic shift from his bubbly childish self to his very seductive adult side. Shuichi saw his lover give him a shot from his lusty purple eyes; just the new seductive tone to his voice alone was enough to make all his thoughts of Yuki quickly melt away.
“Yeah.”
The brunette then walked over to where Shuichi was sitting and extended a small slender hand to him, picking him straight up off the floor taking him a little by surprise; Shuichi often forgot that Ryuichi was actually much older and stronger than he was. They both then made their way to the large master bedroom hand in hand. The whole way Shuichi had a large grin on his face knowing what came after Ryuichi’s random shifts into super sexy singing god mode. Upon arriving into the over-sized bedroom Shuichi made his way into the large attached bathroom to change into his sleeping shorts and a small tank top. As Shuichi was decided exactly which shorts to wear, his mind went back to his idol just on the other side of the bathroom door and the ‘mode’ that he was in so he made sure to pick out Ryuichi’s favorite pair of super short super tight shorts to wear. Once dressed Shuichi slowly opened the door and mustered a seductive grin. Once he fully opened the door however, he looked to the bed to see a very asleep Ryuichi curled up in a ball with his Kumagoro clutched tightly to his chest. Shuichi was slightly disappointed at the sight but only for a moment; he couldn’t stay disappointed at the sight of just how adorable Ryuichi was when he slept. He then decided it was actually probably for the best that he tried to get some sleep so he quietly crawled into bed and snuggled in closely to his sleeping partner, taking in the intoxicating smell of strawberries that always emanated from the brunette. It only took a few minutes for Shuichi to drift blissfully off to sleep with all the memories of his horrible day now almost completely lost from his mind.
Shuichi awoke suddenly in the early morning as the sun was rising in a cold sweat and breathing heavily, being haunted once again by his reoccurring dream. He was slightly relieved though when he looked over to see that it was nine o’clock and Ryuichi had already left for the studio for the day. He took a moment to catch his breath before climbing out of bed and into the bathroom. He walked over to the sink and turned it on to splash some cool water on his face to try and wake himself up. As he stared into the mirror he couldn’t help but to let his thoughts be dragged back to his dream and even worse, his encounter with the blonde yesterday. As his memories of yesterday came flooding back, small tears of anger trickled down his already red cheeks.
“Damn it…Hiro really was right. I have to face him…I have to get answers…I have to tell him how much I hate him. Then I can get my closure…I have to do it!”
Shuichi then proceeded back into the bedroom and rustled through the dresser drawers for something to wear. After a few minutes of searching he finally decided on just a simple t shirt and his one of his regular pairs of tan shorts. He quickly got dressed and rushed out of the apartment. He hustled his way down the stairs and began walking briskly toward his destination; he was hoping that this time he could prepare what he wanted to say and get this whole ordeal over with and still have enough time to get to the studio and get some work done. As he was walking he decided he should at least let Hiro know what was going on so he pulled the small cell phone from his pocket and dialed the red heads number.
“Hello?”
“Hey Hiro.”
“Hey Shuichi, you know you’re late right?”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I might not make it to the studio today. I’m going to try though.”
“I see. I’m guessing you’re going to see Yuki?”
“Yeah…”
“Alright, good luck. I’ll let Sakano know.”
“Thanks Hiro.”
“No problem.”
*click*
By the time Shuichi hung up the phone he was already once again standing in front of the author’s home. He stood on the sidewalk for a moment, taking a deep breath and taking this time to actually prepare his thoughts. This time he was going to make sure not to let the blonde get the better of him. After his moment of confidence building, he made his way boldly to the front door and knocked loudly. The seconds ticked by and all the while his heart rate kept climbing higher and higher. Shuichi was so focused on his thoughts and his racing heart that he jumped slightly in surprise when the door finally swung open. His heart then almost stopped as he found himself face to face once again with the man that had been haunting him for so long. Shuichi quickly noticed that Yuki was different this time however; the blonde looked like he hadn’t slept, his hair was a mess and he didn’t even have a cigarette in his mouth, which was a rare sight to see.
“H-hey Yuki.” Shuichi was doing his best to sound firm but his voice was still slightly shaky.
“What do you want?” Shuichi was slightly taken aback by the cold tone he received from the blonde; granted it was more like his normal self but it was still quite a shift from yesterday.
“Um, I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“A lot of things.”
“Like what?” Shuichi was now beginning to get a little frustrated with the blonde’s cold tone and aloof attitude.
“I don’t know Yuki… I just want to talk to you.”
“Why?” Shuichi had then finally had enough of this.
“Gah! Never mind! If you aren’t going to talk to me then I’m leaving! You’re still just an asshole Yuki!” Shuichi then turned around and began to storm away but he was stopped abruptly by a firm grip on his arm.
“Wait…” Shuichi quickly whipped around, still in the blonde’s grasp, to see that his demeanor had shifted once again to much more solemn one.
“What?!”
“You can come in…if you want to talk.” Yuki then shot the singer a sad glare from those beautiful golden eyes and Shuichi could feel himself begin to get lost in those eyes.
“O-ok…”
Yuki then released the boy from his grasp and turned to walk inside, with Shuichi following at a safe distance behind him. Shuichi gently closed the front door behind him before following Yuki into the living room. As Shuichi looked around the home he noticed that it was much smaller than Yuki’s place and not nearly as nice or modern. The blonde then made his way to his large leather couch that occupied most of the small living room and immediately lit a cigarette. Shuichi looked around for another place to sit, not wanting to share the couch with the blonde, but found nothing so he decided to just stand opposite of Yuki making sure that he was a few feet in front of him.
“So what did you want to talk about?” The blonde now had a very familiar indifferent tone.
“Well… I came to tell you that you are a jerk!” Yuki was genuinely a little surprised by this and his expression showed it
“Is that really all you came here for?”
“Well…um…” Shuichi suddenly found that his resolve was quickly fading away as his eyes locked with golden ones.
“What Shuichi?”
“Well I guess I do have some questions…”
“Ok then, ask.” Shuichi then swallowed hard and tried to fight back the tears welling up in his eyes as so many painful questions came to mind.
“Yuki…Why did you leave the way you did? I just woke up that day…and you were gone.” Then blonde then took a long drag on his cigarette before replying.
“You want to know the truth?”
“Yes!” Yuki then let out a sigh before deciding that he had nothing to lose at this point so there was no point in hiding anymore.
“That night before I left…you went to sleep and I told you that I had to finish writing to meet my deadline. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah…”
“Well I lied.”
“About what?”
“I wasn’t working on my book. I was writing a song.”
“A song?”
“Yes. That night after you went to sleep, there was a re-run on the TV of you and Ryuichi singing the song that I wrote for Nittle Grasper. Then I remembered…how happy you were when you figured out that it was meant for you to sing. So…I wanted to write you a song to…” The blonde stopped abruptly to run one of his hands through his hair in frustration; being this open was never something that he was very good at or enjoyed.
“To what Yuki?” Shuichi’s tone was now almost a pleading one.
“To tell you exactly how I feel. To show you how much I…love you.” Shuichi could no longer fight back his tears and he let them begin to stream down his face.
“Then why Yuki? Why did you leave?!”
“When I finished writing it, I read it over and over again. After the tenth time reading it…I finally realized that I was in love with you Shuichi. Once I realized that…I…” Yuki was now struggling to bring up the words; he felt weak and pathetic, things that he had never felt before.
“You what?!” It was now taking all of Shuichi’s strength not become completely hysterical.
“I got scared. I didn’t want to love somebody again. The last time I loved someone…he betrayed me and then died. I didn’t ever want to feel any of those feelings again. The only thing I could think to do at that point was to just leave.” Yuki then stuffed his cigarette roughly into the ash tray and tried desperately not to lock his sight onto the pink haired boy bawling in front of him.
“T-then why did you come back?!”
“I don’t want to talk anymore.” Yuki could feel himself beginning to lose his cool so he decided he had to stop this conversation before it got any further but Shuichi was not about to let that happen.
“NO! You tell me right now Yuki! Stop being a coward!” Those words ignited anger inside the blond so he then decided if Shuichi wanted the truth so badly then he could have it.
“Shut up you damn brat! I came back because I wanted to!”
“But why Yuki?!” Yuki then rested his head slightly in one of his hands, let out a long sigh and actually allowed a few small tears to roll down his cheeks.
“After living in America for a whole year…I realized that no matter what I did or how hard I tried…I couldn’t escape you. I tried everything: girls, guys, drinking, hell I even went back home for a while and tried meditation; but I still found myself looking over my shoulder everywhere I went waiting to see your stupid face come around a corner, I came home every night waiting to hear your obnoxious voice welcome me home. I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I came back and I bought this house hoping that you had moved back with your parents. After I found out that you hadn’t, I gave up. But…I have still been at every one of your shows…every concert, every record release…” The blonde then paused for a moment before finally looking up at the singer with tears still filling his eyes. “I never stopped loving you Shuichi….”
Shuichi couldn’t believe what he was hearing and his tears had stopped now, replaced with a state of incapacitating shock; for the first time in his life, Shuichi was speechless. All this information was bouncing around so fast in his brain that he felt like he just might explode. He then felt his knees begin to shake and buckle beneath him and all the blood rush to his head. He couldn’t even fight the feeling and almost collapsed onto the hard floor. He was stopped however just as he was beginning to fall, as Yuki swiftly leaned forward on the couch to catch Shuichi by the arm and yanked him roughly toward him. Shuichi flew forward to land right on top of the blonde’s lap and now found himself staring into golden eyes only a few inches away from his face. In that instant, Shuichi’s reoccurring dream flooded his mind and his body then seemed to go into auto pilot as he pressed his lips firmly against Yuki’s, much to the blonde’s surprise. Yuki was never the less eager to return the kiss, reveling in feel of the lips that he had never forgotten. It didn’t take long for Yuki to remember everything that he had missed about the small boy on his lap and all of a sudden it felt as though nothing had ever changed between them. Shuichi finally broke free of the kiss for air much to Yuki’s displeasure. After the boy caught his breath, he was finally able to attempt to speak.
“Y-Yuki…I…” As he looked into Yuki’s eyes, Shuichi suddenly saw a small spark in them that made his stomach drop.
“Shut up.”
The next thing Shuichi knew, Yuki had shoved him down hard onto the couch pinning him down by his shoulders. Shuichi began to panic slightly as Yuki wasted no time in completely removing his t-shirt but his panic was quickly replaced with a light fluttering feeling in his stomach when Yuki caught onto his lips once again. Shuichi felt his whole body melt into the kiss; it wasn’t at all like Yuki used to kiss him, this kiss was different, filled with heat and passion. Shuichi became lost in it until one of Yuki’s hands clamped down firmly onto one of his small nipples causing him to moan lightly into the blonde’s mouth. Yuki then broke free of the singer’s lips and removed both of his hands completely so that Shuichi was no longer pinned down to the couch. He then climbed from on top of the pink haired boy before leaning back on the couch, propping himself up in the corner of it so that he was half way between laying down and sitting up with one of his legs hanging over the edge and the other stretched out along the couch. Shuichi quickly shot up in complete confusion.
“Yuki what the hell?!”
The blonde responded by grabbing him by the arm once again, this time yanking the singer to be lying on top of him. Shuichi was snapped out of his confusion as he again found his lips and tongue entangled with the older man’s. Their tongues fought for dominance revisiting every crevice of each other. Shuichi then felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as Yuki pulled hard on his hair, wrenching his head backwards.
“Ow!”
Yuki then released his handful of pink hair and Shuichi lurched his head back forward to look at the blonde with a stern face. That’s when he saw an absolutely devilish glint in Yuki’s eyes and looked down slightly to realize that he had become so lost in their kiss that he didn’t even notice that Yuki had now unbutton and unzipped his jeans allowing the large bulge in his boxers to be released. Yuki then gave a sly grin before shoving the singer’s head downwards towards his lap. Shuichi attempted to fight back but was no match for the man’s strength; as his head was being shoved lower and lower he realized that he wasn’t just fighting Yuki’s strength but he was also fighting his own burning desire. He then finally gave in to both and allowed Yuki to push his head all the way down to his groin. Shuichi couldn’t fight his feelings any longer and he pulled down slightly on the blonde’s boxers just enough to release Yuki’s very large erect member. Shuichi gave one quick glance up to the blonde before flicking his tongue gently across the sensitive tip of his cock.
“Nnn…”
That one subtle groan from the blonde caused a grin to cut across Shuichi’s face before running his soft tongue slowly up the entire length of Yuki’s member. He then took its entire length into his mouth causing the blonde to lean his head back and let out a deep groan. Shuichi began gently swirling his tongue all around the wonderful organ in his mouth. Yuki then grabbed onto the boy’s hair once again shoving his head down onto his cock, almost choking him, then eased the pressure to allow him bob his head slowly up and down the length of his erection. Shuichi loved the feeling of the perfect amount of pressure from the blonde pulling on his hair and it caused him to moan loudly around his erection sending blissful vibrations through it. This caused Yuki to begin to buck his hips hard up into the warm moist cavern that surrounded him. Shuichi then quickened his pace to be in time with Yuki’s thrusts. He then gave one last slow bob of his head, while swirling his tongue all around, that drove the blonde over the edge and made him release himself into the singer’s mouth.
“Nnnnn….”
Shuichi made sure to swallow the entire mouthful with the exception of a few small drops that he proceeded to seductively lick of his soft pink lips. It was then only an instant before Shuichi was firmly pinned on his back to the couch once again. Yuki then locked their lips in a rough kiss as one of his hands made its way down to the boy’s hips to begin to pull on his small tan shorts. Shuichi found himself once again lost in the bliss of the situation but something suddenly made his eye grow wide. It was the sound of Ryuichi’s voice. Shuichi quickly broke free of the kiss and shot his gaze over to the television set to see a video of Ryuichi playing on the screen. He was then almost drowned in a flood of guilt and he felt as though he might vomit.
“Yuki stop.” The singer attempted to remove Yuki’s hand from his shorts but it wouldn’t budge.
“Why should I?”
“Because I can’t do this. I am with Ryuichi now. I can’t do this to him.” Shuichi was then able to muster enough strength to move the blonde’s hand and sit up on the couch. “I’m sorry Yuki but this isn’t right…”
Panic then quickly began to set back in as Shuichi was shoved very hard back onto his back, this time with Yuki using all his strength to pin him down.
“Well, you should have thought about that before you started this.” Shuichi then saw a very scary look in Yuki’s eyes and en even scarier tone to his voice.
“I’m not going to let you go again.”