Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Disappearing Act ❯ Chapter 15

Disappearing Act

 

By: ladygizarme

 

Beta'd by Ren and Houseki

 

Disclaimer: I don't own these gorgeous boys; Murakami Maki-sensei does *sobs*

I make no money off this story, no matter how much I wish I could. So leave me alone and stop trying to mooch money, I don't have any!!

 

Chapter Fifteen:

 

Shuuichi ran desperately through the streets of Tokyo, unmindful of the cold of the early morning that nipped at his mostly exposed skin. Not even pausing when he caught his toe on an upraised section of sidewalk, stumbled, and scraped his knee; merely getting right back up and continuing to run, though now with a slight limp, sobbing as he tried to get two horrible images out of his mind. The image of the poor, murdered Kumagorou, and the image of Yuki's arms around Touma.

 

He felt so betrayed. Why had Touma done that, anyway? What did he have against the giant pink bunny that would cause him to be so violent? Was it an attack against Shuuichi? And why, after Touma's actions, was Yuki giving comfort to Touma instead of Shuuichi?! Why had Touma even been there in the first place?!! Shuu sobbed harder and pounded his feet faster against the pavement until he finally found himself outside a familiar apartment building, wasting no time getting inside and to Hiro's door.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Suguru woke early in the morning, badly needing to pee. He found his way through the dark apartment to the bathroom and did his business. As he was coming back out, he ran blindly into Hiro, who was also in need of the facilities. They mumbled apologies to each other, and Suguru stepped out of Hiro's way, continuing out of the hall towards his makeshift bed on the couch. Before he made it there, though, a loud banging started sounding from the front door, accompanied with a very familiar sobbing voice calling for Hiro.

 

As Suguru knew Hiro was currently indisposed, and he didn't want to have to listen to that incessant banging anymore, the green haired teen turned from the couch and headed for the door. He stumbled over a few things in the dark and decided to turn a light on as soon as he found a switch on the wall. It was immediately bright and he had to blink a few times to get used to it, but then he was able to get to the door unhindered and opened it.

 

As soon as he saw the singer, Suguru's frown of annoyance faltered for a moment, showing shock and worry. Shuuichi was standing there in nothing but a tank top and shorts. His face was red and streaked with tears, his eyes were puffy, hair wild from running, and his knee was bleeding. He was also barefoot.

 

Before Suguru could even say anything, his arms were immediately filled with the crying teen.

 

“Hiiirooo!” Shuuichi cried into Suguru's pajama shirt.

 

The green haired teen immediately cringed at how cold Shuu was and placed his hands firmly on the slightly taller boy's shoulders, pushing him to an arm's length distance to regain his personal space. This seemed to bring the singer at least a little back to his senses as he sniffed and looked at him with confusion.

 

“You're not Hiro!”

 

Suguru rolled his eyes at his band mate. “Of course I'm not.” He was saved from further meaningless explanation as just then they were joined by Hiro.

 

“What's going on?” the redhead asked, seeing an annoyed Suguru and a highly distraught Shuuichi standing in the open doorway of his apartment.

 

Hearing his friend's voice, the pink haired teen immediately let go of Suguru's arms and flung himself into Hiro's chest and cried again, “Hiiirooo!”

 

“Jeez, Shuuichi, you're freezing!” Hiro exclaimed as he put his arms around Shuu. One of his neighbors across the hall, an older woman, poked her head out of her door just then, giving a disapproving look to the scene and its accompanying noise. Hiro merely gave an apologetic smile as he dragged Shuuichi into his apartment and closed the door.

 

“Okay, Shuu, what happened?”

 

“Yuki… Yuki… and Seguchi… Seguchi, he…” Shuuichi couldn't seem to get the words out, opting for more sobbing instead, gripping onto Hiro's shirt.

 

“Okay, okay,” Hiro soothed, turning Shuu to walk him into the living room. “Come get warm and calm down so you can tell me.”

 

As they walked into the living room, Suguru met them, offering Hiro the blanket he'd been using on the couch to wrap around Shuuichi. The guitarist led the singer to the couch and settled in for the cry-fest he was surely in store for as Shuu again leaned into him, crying into Hiro's shoulder.

 

Suguru sat on the floor against a nearby wall, watching for a little while as Hiro comforted Shuuichi, rubbing his back and giving soft reassurances, trying to coax the singer to calm down. Before long, though, Suguru averted his eyes. For some reason, he couldn't stand the sight of Hiro with his arms around Shuuichi. Though he found no reason why it should affect him now, after all the times a scene like this had played out in their studio after one fight or another between Shuuichi and Yuki. Deciding it must just be because of having such a loud and abrupt introduction to the morning, he decided to try to rest a little more. He pulled his legs up against his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and laid his cheek on his knees, falling into a light doze as Shuuichi's sobs finally started quieting into lower whines, whimpers and sniffles.

 

As Shuuichi calmed down, Hiro felt it was safe to try to get some answers. “Okay, Shuuichi, now can you tell me what happened? Did Yuki-san kick you out again?” Oh, that was the wrong thing to ask. Shuuichi had started to shake his head `no', but then immediately burst into tears again, wailing incoherently.

 

Hiro sighed, but looked quickly over at Suguru in concern, having noticed sharp movement from the corner of his eye. The boy had been nodding off with his cheek on his knees, but Shuu's renewed outburst had caused the green haired keyboardist's head to spring straight up in shock, eyes wide.

 

Hiro couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate how cute the half-awake, bed rumpled Suguru looked. He wore a blue pinstriped pair of what would best be described as `grandpa pajamas', which were wrinkled where usually the boy was perfectly pressed. Normally tame hair no longer perfectly in place, it looked almost wind-blown— much fuller than usual, with several strands sticking up to either side of his head. Unruly bangs fell over eyes that, having gotten over the initial shock, were again half-lidded and darkened to almost black in his drowsy state.

 

Extracting himself from Shuuichi with a promise of his return, Hiro walked over to Suguru and crouched down in front of the boy, looking at him with concern in his eyes.

 

“Hey, Suguru, it's still really early. Why don't you go back to sleep and I'll handle Shuuichi? You can use my bed since he's on the couch.”

 

Hiro tried not to blush at his own suggestion, swearing internally that, really, he had no ulterior motives. It was just that Suguru would be able to get more peace back in the bedroom than if he were in the living room. Even if Hiro took Shuuichi back to his room to talk, he would no doubt need use of the rest of the house during the process. He didn't want to end up disturbing Suguru even more then, so it was in everyone's best interests that the cute keyboardist make use of Hiro's bed instead, right? Right!

 

Suguru gave him an odd, almost skeptical look, which changed to consideration, and then a light blush as he agreed. He allowed himself to be led to Hiro's room, brain already muddled again with the need for return to sleep, and obediently laid on the bed. Suguru's eyes closed the instant his head hit the pillow, if not slightly before, and Hiro pulled the covers over him before shutting the bedroom door and returning to Shuuichi.

 

After several more minutes of Hiro's soothing, Shuuichi was finally able to calm down enough to tell Hiro what had happened at Yuki's that had caused him to run out in such a state. Hiro was outraged at the implications of what Shuu related to him, but tried not to further stress his friend by voicing his own inferences just yet. That could wait for later. For now, Hiro just needed to care for his friend.

 

“Shuu,” he said to the now softly sniffling vocalist. “We really need to treat your knee now, so it doesn't get infected.”

 

“My knee?” Shuuichi asked, frowning in confusion.

 

Hiro pointed to it without touching it, and Shuuichi winced when he saw it.

 

“When did that happen?” he wondered aloud.

 

“You didn't notice before?” Hiro asked almost incredulously.

 

Shuuichi shook his head.

 

“Well, was it there before you left Yuki-san's?”

 

Another head shake from the pink haired male.

 

“Then it most likely happened on the way over here, didn't it? You were so upset you didn't even notice you hurt yourself! Yuki-san really is a despicable guy…”

 

Shuu gasped, “Hiro! Don't say that about the man I love!”

 

Hiro sighed, rolling his eyes. “Ahh, Shuu…”

 

Shuuichi continued defiantly, “I don't even know what was going on, so you can't say Yuki had anything to do with what Seguchi-san did!”

 

“Okay, okay,” Hiro complied, raising his hands in defeat. “The Great Yuki Eiri-san must never be doubted. He can do no wrong, silly me,” he finished sarcastically.

 

Shuu scowled at him, “You don't have to say it like that.”

 

Hiro stood and ruffled his friend's hair. “Well, it seems you've calmed down at least. I'm going to go get something for your knee. Stay here.”

 

He left the room, and returned with a wet cloth, some antibacterial spray, and a large bandage. Shuu whined and winced as his scrape was tended to, but gave a grateful smile to his friend once he was done. Hiro ruffled his hair again before leaving to put the stuff away, then went to the kitchen to make some tea.

 

He brought a cup of the hot liquid back into the living room with him and handed it to Shuuichi, who drank it gratefully. When he finally set his cup down, Shuuichi gave a big yawn and looked sheepishly at Hiro, who asked needlessly, “Tired?”

 

 

The singer nodded, giving another yawn.

 

“Why don't you lie down and get some more sleep? There's still a couple hours before we need to go into the studio. I'll go pick some things up from the store and make breakfast for you and Suguru when I get back, how's that sound?”

 

Shuuichi nodded again, already making himself comfortable on the couch and closing his eyes with one more yawn.

 

Hiro turned out the light so Shuu could sleep, and went quietly back to his room to get some clothes. He changed into a pair of jeans, and was pulling a t-shirt on when he heard Suguru stir in the bed. Pulling his long hair out from the shirt's collar, Hiro turned to see the teen leaning up on an elbow, looking at him curiously.

 

“Is it time to get up already?” Suguru asked sleepily.

 

Hiro shook his head with a gentle smile. “No, I'm just going to get some things to make breakfast,” Hiro replied softly. “I'll be back soon. Shuuichi's asleep on the couch. You don't mind staying here with him while I'm out, do you?”

 

Suguru shrugged with one shoulder, laying back down. Hiro found socks, slipped his wallet into his back pocket, and left the room with the sleeping boy in his bed. Then got his leather bike jacket, pulled on his sneakers and left the apartment.

 

As he drove through the streets, he soon passed the grocery store he usually shopped at. That was okay, though. That wasn't his only intended stop. First, he needed to pay a visit to a certain blonde novelist.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Yuki grit his teeth on the cigarette in his mouth, fingers going to his temples before raking through his hair as the banging on his door interrupted the peace he'd had just moments before. For the fourth time since Nakano had called him from the karaoke bar, Yuki Eiri found himself leaving his office in favor of the front door.

 

Whoever he had been expecting when he opened it, it wasn't this person. Though, if his brain had been running on all cylinders at that moment, rather than the caffeine and nicotine that was currently coursing through him to keep him functioning, it should have been no surprise to see a pissed off, long-haired redheaded guitarist standing outside his door. Indeed, Nakano Hiro would have been the most logical answer to the question: Who's at the door now? After all, Shuuichi had run out of the apartment crying, hadn't he? Of course, the first person he would go to would be Hiro. And Hiro, being the loyal friend—man true to his word and threats— that he was, he would no doubt be after Yuki's hide.

 

Yuki took the cigarette out of his mouth and greeted casually, “Nakano.”

 

“Hope I'm not interrupting anything,” Hiro returned, sounding quite the opposite of this statement as he stepped into the apartment without invitation and closed the door behind him, as if he were sealing the blonde's fate. He took in the expanse of the living room behind the novelist, noticing that it was devoid of anyone except the giant plush rabbit he'd seen a few nights before when picking up Shuuichi for Zepp.

 

“Actually,” Yuki began irritably. “You are. I have a book to work on, so if you wouldn't mind—” He started to reopen the door behind the guitarist, but it was immediately pushed closed again.

 

“Actually, I do mind,” Hiro said, glaring at the other man. “Do you know where Shuuichi is right now?”

 

Yuki sighed, “I assume he went to your place.”

 

“That's right, and you obviously know why. Exactly what the hell were you and Seguchi doing together?!”

 

“Not that it's any of your business—” Yuki started, but was interrupted.

 

“It is my business. Shuuichi came to my house this morning sobbing uncontrollably, saying he saw Seguchi in your arms when he woke up! I told you, if you ever made him cry for something other than his own stupidity, you would pay, so get ready—” Hiro cracked his knuckles and grabbed Yuki's collar, spinning him around to pin him against the wall by his neck, other fist ready to fly.

 

Yuki put one hand to his throat, grabbing the hand there, and caught Hiro's other fist with his other hand. Both of them straining to dominate the other, Yuki gritted out, “As I was saying, not that it's any of your business, but Seguchi was here for reasons of his own twisted design. I had nothing to do with it, and I certainly didn't want Shuuichi mixed up in it. I was trying to get Seguchi to leave when Shuuichi woke up.”

 

Hiro lightened his grip on the taller man just slightly. “Then why did you let him run out of here like that?! You know he ran out in just his shorts and tank with no shoes? He was bleeding by the time he got to my place!”

 

Yuki's brows furrowed in worry. “Is he okay? Where is he now?”

 

“He's fine, it was just a bad scrape on his knee, and he's back at my apartment sleeping now. But it shouldn't have happened in the first place, and wouldn't have if you had gone after him like a real boyfriend would!”

 

Yuki bristled at that. Even though he wasn't too fond of the use of the word `boyfriend' to describe his relationship with the pink haired singer, the accusation in that statement that he wasn't doing his part was slightly below the belt. “I tried to go after him, but Seguchi was having a fit and I couldn't. Look, I was going to make it up to him later and take him out, but I have a deadline to make before meeting with my editor today. If I don't finish what I'm working on first, I won't have time for anything later. So will you please let me go so I can get back to my writing?” Yuki forced himself to be polite and placating to his lover's best friend; after all, Hiro hadn't necessarily been in the wrong. However, Yuki couldn't help the glare and hard set to his jaw as he resisted retaliating.

 

Hiro looked skeptical, but eased up completely, letting go of Yuki's collar and dropping his raised fist. He cocked a brow at the writer. “You're really going to take him out?”

 

Yuki sighed and nodded, straightening his collar and shirt.

 

Hiro conceded, “Okay, but you better make it good. He's going to have another long day today, especially if Seguchi gets on his case at work again like he has the last couple days. And after what he saw this morning…”

 

“I already warned Seguchi the other day to let up on Shuu, so he better steer clear today.” He paused and deliberated with himself a moment, then said a little grudgingly, “If he gives the brat any trouble today, you can call me and I'll take care of it.”

 

Hiro's eyebrows shot up at that, but a corner of his mouth quirked into a half-smile. “Okay, I'm holding you to that. Where are you taking Shuuichi anyway?”

 

Yuki shook his head, “No idea yet. I'll pick him up at the studio after my meeting this afternoon. Can you keep him for now?”

 

“I was planning to anyway. We have work this morning, after all. I need to pick up some clothes for him, though.”

 

Yuki nodded and went to retrieve clothes for his pink haired baka. Hiro took them from him at the door, along with Shuuichi's favorite pair of sneakers and jacket, and stuffed it all into Shuuichi's backpack.

 

“Is that going to be okay for going out?” Hiro asked, indicating the cargo pants with drawstring cuffs and hoodie Yuki had picked out for Shuuichi.

 

“It'll be fine for anything he wants to do, and if I decide we're going somewhere nicer, I'll bring a change of clothes.”

 

Hiro nodded and left with his bundle, heading back towards the grocery store.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Ryuichi really didn't have a destination in mind; he just walked. He walked all over, mind too preoccupied with more important matters to care where he walked, or who passed him, if anyone did. Before he realized it, his feet had stopped moving. When he looked up to take in his surroundings, he found himself in front of NG Records. So, having long ago given up the hope of sleep, and finding he didn't really want to go back home, he opted for trying to get his mind off things with some much needed studio time.

 

The building was still locked, as it wouldn't open for business until 7am, but Ryuichi was Sakuma Ryuichi of Nittle Grasper; well known and liked by all, including the friendly night watchman that happened to see the singer as he was trying to find a way into the building, and let him in happily.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Suguru woke a bit disoriented, wondering where he was. He wasn't on Hiro's couch, yet the unfamiliar smell of the covers told him he wasn't in his own bed. Once he took a moment to discern the mixture of faint cigarette smoke and cologne, overpowered by the fresher scent of soap and shampoo, Suguru realized he must be in Hiro's bed. At this thought, though, he blushed, wondering why he knew so definitively what Hiro smelled like. He decided not to dwell on it, though, blaming it on the fact that he'd spent so much time with Hiro recently that of course he would know what the guitarist smelled like.

 

He got out of the bed and straightened the covers before leaving the room. When he got into the living room, he found Shuuichi sleeping on the couch, snoring peacefully. Hiro wasn't there, nor was he in the kitchen, and the bathroom had been empty when he passed it. It was then that Suguru had a vague memory of Hiro telling him he was going somewhere. To get groceries maybe? Hiro had said just yesterday that he needed to go to the store. Well, Suguru hoped that's where he was, as his stomach then decided to make its emptiness known, and Suguru indeed found the cupboards equally empty. For lack of better substance, Suguru decided to make himself some tea.

 

Just as he found a mug in one of the cupboards, he heard the front door open, and soon Hiro was joining him in the kitchen. The guitarist set the bags he was carrying on the counter and smiled as he greeted the green haired teen.

 

“Good morning, Suguru, making some tea? Are you hungry?”

 

Suguru felt a bit awkward at having been found invading Hiro's kitchen, and felt his face heating up despite the fact that Hiro didn't seem to mind.

 

“I picked up some things for breakfast. What are you in the mood for?”

 

“What did you get?” Suguru asked curiously.

 

Hiro started taking things out of the bags and he listed them off, “Some eggs, a small bag of rice, instant miso, ramen cups, and—”

 

“What is that?” Suguru exclaimed in a mix of curiosity and horror as Hiro took a bright pink box out of a bag. A bright pink box… with darker pink polka dots… and Hello Kitty plastered to the front.

 

Hiro couldn't help but laugh at the keyboardist's scrunched expression as he answered, “They're called pop-tarts. It's a pastry from America. Sakuma-san introduced Shuuichi to them once and now I have to have the manager at the store special order them for him.”

 

“Hello Kitty!!”

 

The sudden exclamation made the two in the kitchen jump as Shuuichi bounded in to join them, snatching the new box of his latest favorite snack from Hiro's hand. He wasted no time in tearing open the box, snatching out a shining silver foil package, ripping it open and biting into one of the two rectangular treats inside, all with a grin on his face.

 

Hiro just laughed at his enthusiasm while Suguru continued to stare in something akin to horror and disgust. Just the box alone had given him sugar shock. How could Shuuichi eat that?! Suguru opted for the safer and more desirable choice of instant miso, and set to work making it as Hiro steamed some rice. When Shuuichi finished his package of sugar-in-the-form-of-cardboard, he reached for another silver package, but was slapped away by none other than Hiro.

 

“No, Shuu, one's enough,” the guitarist said firmly.

 

“But, Hirooo—” Shuuichi whined.

 

“No, you know how expensive those things are to special order? You're lucky I even let you eat one whole package!”

 

Shuuichi pouted but conceded, getting a bowl of rice and miso along with his band mates.

 

After they all ate, they got dressed and ready for work, and headed to NG— all three piled again onto Hiro's bike.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

It was eerily quiet inside, the opening of the business day for NG employees still over an hour away. Though the building was dimly-lit, most of the lights inside turned off, early morning light coming in from the building's many windows allowed Ryuichi to see his way as he headed for a familiar studio. The windowless room was almost pitch black when he entered and closed the door, but that was fine with Ryuichi. He let his eyes adjust to the dark, and found his way over to the mixers in the studio. The faint glow of the lights of the electronics in idle mode allowed him to see all the buttons and levers, and soon he was listening to some of Grasper's most recent musical compositions through the headphones, tapping out the beat with his foot.

 

Some of these songs had lyrics written for them already, some had been composed without words in mind. Ryu closed his eyes and listened to the wordless music, letting it sink into his soul and draw out the story he felt within each note. Before he knew it, he had a stack of papers with lyrics and random musical notations written on them. Then the door to the studio was opened, the light flipped on, and Noriko was hugging him around his neck from behind his chair.

 

“My Ryu-chan came back! I told Touma you would!”

 

Ryuichi smiled at the woman's enthusiasm and put on a blushy chibi smile for her, “Nori-chan! Hi hi, na no da!”

 

Suddenly, she grabbed his ear and started tugging as she scolded, “Where were you, Ryu-chan?! Touma was so upset, I was worried about you! Were you doing something bad? Touma made me cover for him with Mika-san because he didn't want to tell her where you went!”

 

“Ow, ow, owowowowow, Noriko!” Ryu cried, trying to escape the fingers now pulling on his cheeks rather than his ear. “Gomen, gomen! Ryu-chan wasn't bad on purpose!”

 

Noriko let go and sat in the other chair in front of the mixing boards, sighing as she faced Ryuichi. “So? Were you off having fun with one of your billions of stalk—err—fans?” She smirked as she raised a disapproving eyebrow at him, but frowned when he didn't give the usual playfully suggestive response and instead dropped his eyes down and to the side.

 

Deciding to change the subject, she said, “So, you're here earlier than usual. Looks like you've been busy, too.” She smiled as she took a paper off the pile Ryuichi had accumulated and read through it, her smile dropping more and more as she read the mournful and angsting lyrics full of lament of love. She picked up another paper. And another. And yet another. Then, with a worried expression, she looked back up at Ryuichi. “Ryuichi, what really happened this weekend? You haven't written anything this sad since you went off with K to America.” When he didn't answer, she put her hands on his shoulders and tried to look at him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. She moved her hands to his cheeks and forced him to look her in the eye. “What's wrong, Ryu? Tell Noriko.”

 

When he finally looked at her, she was met with his serious eyes, but they held none of the usual sensuality or overwhelming confidence. Instead, she saw only anguish. “Noriko,” he said softly. “Do you think… someone… as bad as me… even deserves happiness?”

 

“What are you talking about, Ryu-chan? You're not bad. Of course you deserve happiness!”

 

“No, I am a bad person, Noriko. I do awful things. I use people, and I let myself be used. I thought, `the person I love doesn't love me, so this is the only way I can feel love.' No one will ever really love me, but living this way, I can feel something close to it. When I sleep with someone, it's always new, it's exciting, and I feel a thrill like being in love. But it always goes away. They always go away. But Touma's always there. Always there for me. He's done so much for me, how can I do this to him? I can't! Even if… even if…”

 

“Ryu-chan! Ryu! You're not making any sense! What are you talking about?” Noriko asked, brows furrowed, utterly confused.

 

“I think… I love someone, Noriko.”

 

Her eyes grew wide, “What? Well, that's great! Isn't it?”

 

He gave her a sorrowful look, shaking his head, “No. No! It's not great! I can't love him, I don't deserve to. He's innocent, and I brought him into a depraved situation. I didn't mean for it to happen! I really didn't! I just thought I would have fun with him, like I do with everyone else. But he was so different from the others. He really cared about me, but now I can't let him get hurt. I can't be with him. No matter how good it felt when he looked at me with those eyes so full of… so full of…”

 

“Love?” Noriko supplied.

 

Ryuichi closed his eyes, shook his head, and shrugged. When he looked at her again, he said, “I don't know, Noriko. I don't know what it was. I just know I've never been looked at that way before. Not even by…” his eyes shifted to the side again, “…the last person I loved.”

 

“Ryuichi,” Noriko began. “I'm sorry, I still don't see what the problem is. If he cares about you, and you care about him, just go for it! Love isn't easy, I know. It takes work, and things don't always turn out for the best. But if you want love, and have a perfect opportunity for it sitting right in front of you, you just have to take the plunge! You want love, Ryuichi, and you deserve happiness. Don't miss your chance just because you think you've screwed up in the past!”

 

Ryuichi just stared at her for what seemed like forever, letting her words sink in. He deserved happiness. He wanted love. It was a simple answer, and one he had wholeheartedly believed long ago. Now, though, he wasn't so sure. Simple things were never as simple as they seemed in the long run. After all, this whole complicated situation had started six years before because of the simple combination of his new hair stylist's overenthusiastic highlight job, a liquored up Touma, and a case of mistaken identity. No, simple things were never truly simple.

 

When Ryuichi still hadn't responded, Noriko sighed. “Well, does this possible love have a name at least? I'd like to know the name of the man that my Ryuichi is worrying over the mistakes in his life for.”

 

He didn't answer right away, and she thought maybe he wouldn't, but then he said simply, “Tatsuha.”

 

“Tatsuha? As in Uesugi Tatsuha? As in Mika-san's little brother, Tatsuha? Touma's little brother-in-law?”

 

At the mention of Touma, Ryuichi winced slightly. Noriko noticed. “Okay, spill it. What's wrong now? Did something happen with Touma? You mentioned him in your little rant before, too.” Then her eyes went wide and she snapped her fingers, as if finally realizing. “I get it! So that's why Touma was so upset you were missing! He doesn't approve of you having a relationship with Tatsuha-kun!”

 

“Noriko,” Ryuichi sighed.

 

“Ryuichi,” she cut in sternly. “You can't rely so much on Touma's opinion, you know. I know how you felt about him before, but I thought you promised me you were going to stop pining for him when he married Mika-san. It's been six years, Ryuichi. There's nothing to feel guilty about; you two never even had a relationship. You're allowed to move on.”

 

Ryuichi turned sad eyes away from her and back to the mixing board. Noriko sighed in exasperation. If Ryuichi wanted to be in a mood, there was nothing she could do to stop him, no matter how she may try. She got up and headed for the door, and, though Ryuichi made no show of noticing, she assured him, “I'll be back in a little bit. I have some things to do upstairs first.” She gave what she was sure was a cute wink and left the room. Ryuichi put the headphones back on and switched the track back to the one he'd been working on before her interruption.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

“Oi, Toshi!” A man in a security uniform called to his friend, who was sitting in front of a bank of TV screens being fed with footage from the many security cameras around NG Records.

 

“Hey, Kenichi,” the one identified as Toshi greeted. “Is it that time already?”

 

“Yep, time to call it a night, my friend. I'll take over from here.”

 

Toshi stood and stretched, thankful to move from his position in front of the screens and relinquish the chair to the other security guard.

 

“Oh guess what,” Toshi said before he left the room. Kenichi gave him a questioning look, and he continued with a grin, “Sakuma-san's in the studio today.” Kenichi was a huge Nittle Grasper fan. In fact, he had applied for the security job just for the chance to catch a glimpse of the legendary band's members, particularly his idol, the lead vocalist.

 

“He is?!” Kenichi exclaimed predictably, eyes dulled with the promise of the security-screen-monotony now turning into shining pools of adoration. “Does Seguchi-san know?”

 

Toshi shrugged, “I don't know. He hasn't come in yet, so probably not.”

 

“You mean you didn't call him?!”

 

Toshi frowned. “No, why would I?”

 

Kenichi gaped, “Where have you been man? He never came in Friday or Saturday. Takada-san gave everyone orders to call Seguchi-san if Sakuma-san showed up.”

 

“Oh,” Toshi said lamely. He hadn't worked the past few days, and the guy he took over the shift for the night before hadn't told him. Evidently, he was out of the loop.

 

“Oh well, I guess I'll do it now,” Kenichi said, looking all too happy to be calling up the Great Seguchi Touma. However, he frowned when there was no answer on Touma's cell phone.

 

Before he could decide on his next course of action, however, the phone in the room began ringing. When he answered, his face lit up at the sound of Ukai Noriko's voice asking if Touma had come in yet. He double-checked with Toshi first before giving the answer that, no, Touma hadn't come in. After a brief assurance from Noriko that the security guard need not worry about informing Touma that Ryuichi was there, since she would do it, Kenichi hung up and began his day with a grin on his face.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

After Noriko left Ryuichi in the studio, she took the elevator up to the top floor. She needed to have a talk with their dear band mate. No matter if Touma approved of it or not, Ryuichi and Tatsuha's relationship was their own business, and he shouldn't be giving her dear Ryu-chan such a hard time when he'd finally fallen in love again. He'd had his heart broken by Touma himself all those years ago, and even if Ryuichi had never confessed his feelings to the blonde, the man should know that Ryuichi valued his opinion above all others.

 

So, with this in mind, she marched up to his office. However, Touma was not there, and his secretary said she hadn't seen him. In fact, Noriko didn't see him anywhere in the building, and with a quick check in with security, she found that he hadn't yet come in to work. This was very unlike him, considering it was now 7:30, and Touma was usually the first one in when NG opened at 7am. In fact, he was often in even before that!

 

Noriko tried to call Touma on his cell phone, but it went directly to voicemail and she frowned. She tried calling his home number, but there was no answer there, either. Getting a weird feeling about her missing fellow keyboardist now, Noriko decided to call Mika.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

The drive to Kyoto had been silent so far, so when K suddenly spoke to her, Mika gave a start. It took a moment before she'd calmed her heart enough to ask, “What?”

 

“I said, are you upset about something, Mika-san?”

 

“I'm fine,” Mika said curtly.

 

“Okay, okay,” K remarked easily, sounding almost amused at her manner. “I just thought, maybe you were upset about the way this situation with your brother is being handled. I know you prefer things with your family to be handled internally, but Seguchi-san and I thought it best if I personally make sure Tatsuha was delivered home.”

 

Mika turned to him slightly, eyebrow cocked, “Now that you mention it, why are you being so cooperative about this? I mean, I know you live for this kind of stuff, but really… I never pegged you as one of Touma's lackeys, ready to jump as soon as he gives the word.”

 

K laughed at this and nodded. “No, you're right. Actually, I normally wouldn't give a rat's ass about what Touma wanted, especially this early in the day, unless it affected Bad Luck. This is a special case, though, and it seems old habits die hard.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I've always been the one to take care of Ryuichi's more enthusiastic stalkers, and with all the trouble Tatsuha put us through with finding Ryuichi—”

 

“Hey, now, don't try to put all the blame on Tatsuha!” Mika interrupted, glaring at the pony tailed man. “Ryuichi has just as much blame in this as Tatsuha, if not more so! Tatsuha's only sixteen, after all. And Ryuichi even argued with me over the phone about making Tatsuha leave!”

 

K looked shocked at this, but before he could respond, Mika's phone rang.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Noriko was glad when her call was answered right away, and got right to the point. “Mika-san, it's Noriko. Sorry to bother you, but is Touma with you?”

 

“Touma? No, he's not with me,” came Mika's reply.

 

“Hmm… Well, do you know where he might be? He's not in the office yet, and his phone is going straight to voicemail.”

 

Mika sighed into the phone, “I suppose he's with Sakuma-san still.”

 

“What are you talking about, Mika-san? Ryuichi's here, and Touma is most definitely not with him.”

 

There was a pause, then Mika said, “I have no idea where he would be then, Ukai-san. I thought he wouldn't move from Sakuma-san's side until Tatsuha was back in Kyoto.”

Noriko felt a slight drop in her stomach, though she wasn't exactly sure why, but she knew it was her instincts telling her she needed to do something. “Tatsuha's going back to Kyoto already?” she asked in concern.

 

“Yes, K and I are escorting him to make sure he doesn't try to get back to Sakuma-san.”

 

“Why would you do that?!” Noriko exclaimed.

 

“Ukai-san, I really don't want to discuss this further, but since you are so close to this whole incident, seeing as you kept me occupied for Touma's sake, I will tell you. Sakuma-san has had his fun, but I don't want him playing with my little brother anymore. Tatsuha may put on a tough guy front, but he really cares for Sakuma-san. If he's involved with that man's games anymore, he will only get his heart broken.”

 

“Who are you to say what will happen?” Noriko spit out, feeling her hackles rise. “Ryuichi isn't playing games! I don't know where you got this warped idea about Ryuichi and his intentions, but let me tell you right now: Ryuichi is in love with Tatsuha! He's been in the studio for who knows how long, writing sad love songs about your brother, all because he thinks he can't have a relationship with him because Touma doesn't approve! If Tatsuha really cares for Ryuichi, then why can't you just let them be together?!!”

 

Mika was shocked to silence, and Noriko had no patience to wait for her reply. “Did you say K is with you, too? Let me talk to him!” she demanded.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

When Mika's end of the conversation turned towards Ryuichi and his intentions towards Tatsuha, K couldn't help but listen with interest. One reason, of course, being the fact that it wasn't so easy to ignore someone else's phone conversation as it became loud and heated when you were sitting right next to them in an enclosed space such as the cab of a van.

 

The real reason, however, was because K had started feeling odd about this whole situation when they were still at the Seguchi residence, as soon as Mika had mentioned Ryuichi giving Tatsuha his phone number. At the time, K had put it to the back of his mind, firmly believing that he was once again doing a service to his former charge, whom he couldn't help still feeling protective of even after his role had changed from being Sakuma Ryuichi's manager to being Bad Luck's. But just before Noriko called, Mika had inferred that Ryuichi hadn't wanted Tatsuha to leave in the first place.

 

If Ryuichi really still wanted the boy around, was K really helping him by stealing Tatsuha away?

 

The blonde manager hadn't seen Ryuichi show a real interest in anyone for a long time, and the last time he had, the person of interest had been the one to push Ryuichi away, not the other way around. Even though before and after that, Ryuichi had always seemed to have a `one-time-use' standard for his sexual encounters, when he really cared for someone, he really stuck with it. K had seen that, despite how he may act out, Ryuichi was really a romantic at heart. The only reason he had taken this role upon himself, to get rid of Ryuichi's flings, was because of the heartbreak he had seen the younger man go through after that one romance in the States. If a fling stayed a fling, the singer wouldn't have a chance to grow attached and get hurt in the end by someone who was only interested in his fame or fortune, or even just his body, not his heart.

 

So with these things on his mind, and the knowledge of how much Tatsuha had been fighting to see Ryuichi again, K had tried to listen to as much as he could of the conversation. He couldn't really hear Noriko's end of the conversation, only Mika's responses. However, with Noriko's last rant, he could hear her clearly. He heard her say that Ryuichi loved Tatsuha. It hit him like a ton of bricks. They had only been together three days; had that really been all the time the brown haired, blue eyed amazing singer he knew needed to fall for the youngest of the Uesugi clan? And if so, was it really so bad? Would it really be so bad to see Ryuichi glow with the feeling of being in love, and being loved in return?

 

K didn't really know Tatsuha. Hell, just a few days ago he had mistaken him for Yuki with his hair dyed black. But K had a feeling— just a feeling, but his instincts were rarely wrong— that Tatsuha might be just what Ryuichi needed. And even though the kid was technically a minor, he was old enough to consent to a physical relationship, so, really, what was the big deal? Why were Touma and Mika so adamant against it?

 

As K took the cell phone that a wide-eyed Mika wordlessly handed him at Noriko's request, he wasn't sure what the fiery, purple haired woman had to say to him, but he prepared to have his head bit off and have his whole purpose in this fiasco change drastically.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Ryuichi couldn't write anymore. He couldn't sing. He couldn't even hear the music anymore. Everything just washed over him as he sat staring at but not really seeing the many chasing and flashing lights of the mixing board, unable to see anything but the smiling faces of Tatsuha. And, yes, it was faces; for the boy had so many layers of expression, and he'd shown them freely to Ryuichi. Had Ryuichi seen them all? Had those precious three days allowed him to see every bit of the true Tatsuha, inside and out? Ryuichi didn't know; he couldn't be sure; but as he wondered this, he realized something. If that wasn't everything, Ryuichi wanted more. He wanted to see it all; to know it all; to be able to see and know Tatsuha in any situation and with any and every emotion. He wanted to know, what were the faces that Tatsuha would show only him? Were there any?

 

They had only been together a short time, and they hadn't done much talking, though they had done some, during breaks to recover their energy. During those seemingly short amounts of time, though, Ryuichi had felt just as close to the teen as he felt while they were making love. And, yes, it had been making love; Ryuichi could tell the difference. It had felt as if the boy were pouring his soul into him each time; as if their souls were truly touching as they touched each other. And though Ryuichi now couldn't really remember what they had talked about, he remembered that that feeling had lasted throughout. He wished he could remember the words, too. He wondered, did Tatsuha remember? Could they have talks again? Did Tatsuha want to?

 

Remembering Tatsuha's happy grin as Ryuichi said they could see each other again, Ryuichi came to a realization. Tatsuha did want to be with him, didn't he? And not only that; Ryuichi wanted to be with Tatsuha. He couldn't deny it anymore than he could erase those three days in the hotel.

 

He also realized another thing. Noriko was right, though she didn't quite know how right she was. He shouldn't be relying on Touma anymore; and Touma shouldn't be relying on him. They were both adults, and the farce they'd been carrying on for so long needed to stop. Neither of them were able to be truly happy as long as they were loving a shadow of someone else. And now, the shadow Ryuichi had been holding on to was gone. The Touma he had loved and pined after no longer existed. In truth, from the moment Touma had breathed Eiri's name the first time Ryuichi had made love to him, that Touma had disappeared. Ryuichi had simply been fooling himself this whole time, allowing himself to be used by the body of a man whose mind was now altered, and not to Ryuichi's liking. But it no longer mattered. Ryuichi no longer longed for that Touma of the past either.

 

Now, all he wanted was Tatsuha.

 

Even if he worried it could never work; even if all the world didn't want them together, Ryuichi wanted to try. He had a feeling Tatsuha wanted to try too. But even if he didn't, Ryuichi could no longer play this game of Touma's. He had come to a decision.

 

Ryuichi stood from his seat in the studio, gathered his papers into a folder to be sorted out later, grabbed Kumagorou and left the room. He walked down the hall, down a couple flights of stairs, through the lobby, and out the door. Just as he'd done when walking to NG just a couple hours before, Ryuichi paid no mind to who or what he passed. The only thing on his mind was that he needed to get to his apartment. He needed to tell Touma. The game was over.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

When Eiri shoved Touma out of his apartment, the keyboardist had been devastated. Eiri knew his secret. Not just about Touma's love for him, but just how deep that love was; that Touma even went as far as to act out fantasies of Eiri with Ryuichi. Besides the unveiling of this coveted secret, also devastating was the fact that Ryuichi, the very person Touma had the suit duplicated for, had given it to Tatsuha. As he stood outside that slammed door, still clutching the suit Eiri had thrust into his face, Touma's mind had shorted out and switched to autopilot.

 

He had no memory of putting his shoes back on, or setting Eiri's house slippers neatly in front of his door. No memory of slowly leaving the building, of getting in his car, of driving back to Ryuichi's high rise, of parking, entering the building, taking the elevator, and finally opening the penthouse door.

 

The next conscious thought Touma had, after Eiri slamming the door in his face, was the realization that he was standing in Ryuichi's Yuki room, still clutching the black Armani suit and crying hard, yet silent, tears; save for the heavy hitching breaths. Automatically, almost as if he were watching his body go through the actions from above, he hung the suit on its proper hanger and closed the closet door. He left the Yuki room and closed that door as well, then walked down the hall to Ryuichi's room, and laid on the bed. Then his body gave into its stress and exhaustion, and everything faded to black.

 

When he woke again, Touma was met with the concerned face of Ryuichi as the singer sat on the bed beside him. In that instant, Touma's worries melted away as he realized his Ryuichi had come back to him. All was not lost! He had returned of his own free will!

 

Touma immediately sat up and straightened himself out, praying to every kami in existence and Buddha himself that his eyes weren't puffy and his cheeks weren't stained with tears. The worry written on Ryuichi's face did not convince him as such, however. Nor did the singer's words to him.

 

“Touma, what happened? Are you okay?” His brows were furrowed as he looked at the blonde.

 

“I'm fine, Ryuichi-san,” Touma said, willing his voice to sound calm. “Your phone kept going to voicemail this morning. Where were you?” He didn't mean for the question to sound so accusatory. Nevertheless, it was what it was. Once he got the answer, he could repair the damage, if there was any.

 

“My phone battery must have finally died. I was at the studio,” Ryuichi answered, and Touma breathed a mental sigh of relief. “I thought I would try to make up some of the work I'm behind on now, but I had to come back now.”

 

Touma smiled at him, “That is an admirable venture, Ryuichi-san. Did you get much done? Have you come back so we could have our morning coffee and go in together?”

 

Ryuichi took a deep breath and sighed it out, eyes looking all at once determined, concerned and apologetic. It was a strange combination, even coming from a man Touma knew personally to have an endless supply of expressions which he used in many unexpected ways, and Touma could only wait with anticipation laced with dread for the next words the blue eyed man would speak.

 

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~ ~*

 

Though Ryuichi had come back to his apartment fully set on letting Touma have it and completely breaking it off with the man, Ryuichi couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow and guilt when he stepped into his room and saw Touma in his bed. The blonde was curled up around Ryuichi's pillow, hands clenched in the dark covers. When Ryu sat on the bed, Touma woke, and the vocalist could see that Touma had been crying. His heart clenched. Could he really do this? He no longer felt the same love for Touma that he once had, but he did still care for him. Had Touma missed him so much that he had cried over Ryuichi? Could Ryu really put such an abrupt end to their six years as lovers?

 

Nevertheless, Ryuichi had made a decision, hadn't he? He needed to break it off, didn't he? After giving a short answer as to where he was, the vocalist took a deep breath and let it out. Then he finally spoke.

 

“I've been thinking a lot about things this morning, Touma, and I have something important to tell you—”

 

Suddenly, Ryuichi's words were cut off when Touma lurched forward and pressed his lips to Ryuichi's desperately. Before he knew it, Touma was tugging his shirt off and attacking his neck and chest with his mouth. He moved across the bed and slid to the floor, hands going to rid Ryuichi of his jeans next.

 

Ryuichi tried to push him away, though not roughly, more to just get his attention. “Touma, wait, I need to tell you—”

 

Touma silenced him with a kiss again, giving up his attempt at relieving Ryu of his pants in favor of straddling the singer's lap. Then Touma breathed against his lips, “Later, Ryuichi-san, please? Right now, I need you.” He kissed him again, and Ryuichi helplessly opened his mouth for the blonde, unable to resist the desperation in Touma's voice or actions. “Truly, Ryuichi-san, you have no idea how worried I was while you were gone.”

 

He didn't clarify whether he meant that morning, or the previous three days, but in that moment it didn't matter to Ryuichi. Touma needed him. He truly needed him. Had Ryuichi been wrong? Was it truly himself that Touma now longed for? Had he finally done the unthinkable and replaced Eiri in Touma's heart? He was overcome with so many confusing emotions now and, rather than try to sort them out, Ryuichi let himself be overcome by Touma instead. However, there was a thought, and a feeling, nagging at the back of his brain.

 

“Touma,” Ryuichi panted as the keyboardist broke away from his mouth again to kiss his neck and ears.

 

“Mmm?” Touma hummed questioningly with an earlobe in his mouth.

 

“I'm still… pretty sore…”

 

Touma pulled back and smiled at him. “That's perfectly fine. I need you inside me.” He kissed him again.

 

Ryuichi was too shocked in that moment to respond at all, and merely let himself be kissed. Touma wanted Ryuichi inside him? In all their years of being `together', Touma had always dominated Ryuichi. Always. Even when Ryuichi had gone as far as to request being seme, Touma had insisted it be the other way around. The only time their roles were ever reversed was when Ryuichi was to play the role of Eiri.

 

It was some sort of subconscious justification for Touma, as if Eiri wouldn't be tainted by him if Eiri was the one to enter him; even if it was just Ryuichi role playing Eiri for him, Ryuichi knew this was the reasoning behind it. Even when, through the years, the boyish routine had been altered to fit the current Eiri— including his new classier style of dress, dreadful smoking of cigarettes, and ingestion of more coffee than Ryuichi thought he could stand— Touma had still insisted on `Eiri' topping him.

 

Now, though, Touma was asking for Ryuichi to be inside him. He really had been wrong, hadn't he? He'd been about to end the one thing he'd wanted most in his life for so long. How close he'd come to ruining it!

 

But Ryuichi needed to pay attention now. Things were happening and his thoughts were letting him miss it. Touma was standing now, holding out a hand to him and looking at Ryuichi expectantly. Not knowing what exactly he'd missed, but not wanting to miss anymore, Ryuichi took the proffered hand and allowed himself to be led… out of the room. It was then that Ryuichi's sudden feelings of elation came crashing down, his heart sinking to his stomach, and his stomach in turn sinking to his feet, as each step took him further and further down the hallway and towards a familiar dreaded room.

 

Touma opened the door to the Yuki room when he reached it, and Ryuichi had no doubt in his mind what the blonde meant now. As Touma made to pull him into the room, Ryuichi resisted, tugging his arm away.

 

“What are you doing, Touma?” Ryuichi asked, though he was sure there was no mistake in his assumptions now.

 

Touma merely smiled softly at him and pulled him again into a kiss, moving the vocalist's body into the room easily with his own. He pushed the door closed with his foot and leaned against it, pulling Ryuichi flush against him. Ryu pulled away from the kiss, hands planted firmly on Touma's shoulders.

 

“Eiri-san was so harsh with me this morning, Ryuichi-san. When I went looking for you, he said cruel things. I need him to comfort me and tell me he didn't mean it, Ryuichi-san. Please, won't Eiri-kun comfort me?”

 

He gave Ryuichi a sincere pleading smile, fingers twisting coyly in the long hairs at the nape of Ryu's neck, the belief that Ryuichi would never resist his request clearly written into the open expression. It soon turned to shock when Ryuichi really did push him this time, breaking free from Touma's hold on him and backing up to the middle of the room. Touma quickly schooled his expression though, and calmly walked over to the closet.

 

“Come now, Eiri-kun. This will be our first reunion in quite some time. It should be special. We'll make love, and I'll light your cigarette afterwards. Then we'll go out for breakfast and I'll put the sugar in your coffee. You can even wear my favorite suit in celebration.” Then he pulled out the very suit he'd hung up earlier that morning. Ryuichi's eyes went wide.

 

“That— How did you— But… but I gave that to Tatsuha so he wouldn't get in trouble with Yuki-san! How dare you take it back?! Now Tatsuha will be in trouble!!”

 

Touma asked calmly, “Why couldn't he just give Eiri-san the original back?”

 

Ryuichi faltered slightly at this, but answered, “The original was… in no condition to be returned. That's why I told Tatsuha to take mine.”

 

Touma closed his eyes and gave a light chuckle. When he opened his eyes again, they were hard, narrowed, and glaring. “Did you honestly believe this would fool Eiri-san? No matter how good you may be at playing him, there still are quite a few differences between the two of you. Most notably, in this instance, the fact that he is several centimeters taller than you!” Touma closed his eyes again and took a breath, obviously forcing himself to calm down. “Nevertheless, I know that I can't hold it against you. You're simply too caring for your own good, Ryuichi-san. Even though you won't ever see Tatsuha-san again, you didn't want him to get in trouble with his brother. I understand that, Ryuichi-san, so I'm not mad at you. Really. But right now, I really need the reassurance that Eiri-kun isn't really mad at me.”

 

Suddenly, Ryuichi had a fire in his eyes, and he ripped the suit from Touma's hands, shedding his jeans and donning the black pants, blue shirt, and black jacket. He ran his hands through his hair to imitate Yuki's style, and fixed his eyes into a Yuki-glare. He marched over to the nightstand, picking up the cigarette pack and putting one between his lips, though he didn't light it. Even during the times when he'd let Touma light one for him to complete the act, Ryuichi never actually smoked. Not only could he not stand the smell or taste, but he had no desire to ruin his voice with such frivolities.

 

Ryuichi then swaggered over to Touma in Yuki-fashion, backing the blonde up against the wall. He grabbed the unlit cig between two fingers and flicked it onto the floor across the room. Then, in a voice as close to Yuki's as he could manage, Ryuichi said, “Seguchi, you have to stop playing this game. It's not really me; it never has been. I love Shuuichi, not you. You are my brother-in-law, and you are married to my sister, who has been putting up with your relationship with Sakuma-san for far too long.”

 

Ryuichi could see each word cutting into Touma painfully, but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't. This had gone far enough, it had to end. “Oh, and by the way, most lovers call each other by their given names. What's with this `Eiri-kun', `Eiri-san', `Ryuichi-san' shit? Can't you even let yourself relax with your fantasy? What kind of intimacy can you really have with someone when you won't even drop the honorifics in bed?” Ryuichi chuckled low, still imitating Eiri, “Do you still call my sister `Mika-san' in the throes of passion, too?”

 

Suddenly Touma's shocked devastation turned a 180 into his cold glare, and he pushed Ryuichi from him. “You're not Eiri-san. Stop it right now, Ryuichi-san.”

 

“So now he gets it!” Ryuichi exclaimed to the ceiling, throwing his hands up.

 

He looked back at Touma, and the glare was still there, but just barely. The blonde's eyes were filling with tears, much to his obvious dismay and attempts otherwise, and his voice shook slightly as he asked, “Why, Ryuichi-san? Why are you doing this?!”

 

Ryuichi returned to his own voice, and couldn't help the softness in it now that he had Touma crying in front of him. “Because, Touma, I need you to understand. I can't do this anymore. I can't be Yuki-san for you. It's not how I want to spend my life and waste my love. I can't love someone that doesn't love me, not anymore. It's not fair to anyone to continue this charade. Especially now that I love someone else.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Touma breathed incredulously. “What do you mean, `love someone else'? You've never loved anyone, it's not in your nature. Or, rather, you love anyone and everyone. You don't know what real love is! I loved you, but you're too free spirited to tie yourself down to one person! That's why I've spent all these years making sure you didn't take unnecessary risks!”

 

“And I appreciate your concern for me, Touma, really I do. You made sure I never got in dangerous situations and you made sure I always used protection. Though, if we're honest, that was really to protect yourself, wasn't it? After all, you're the only one that never had to use a condom with me. But you're wrong about me and love. You never loved me, you just wanted to control me. I have loved, though, and been in love. I have tied myself down to one person, don't you see?” Touma still looked confused, so Ryuichi supplied the answer that should have been obvious to the unspoken question. “You, Touma. I loved you. I tied myself down to you! But I can't do that anymore, you see—”

 

“Tied yourself down?” Touma interrupted, quoting in disbelief. “What do you call all those other people you slept with? All the other men. All the women. How can you claim to have loved me when you couldn't even stay faithful to me?”

 

“Faithful? Faithful?!! And what do you call yourself? Is it faithful for you and I to be doing what we've been doing, when you're married to Mika-san?! Is it faithful to fuck your best friend while pretending he's your wife's little brother?!”

 

“Mika-san understands—” Touma began, but Ryuichi interrupted.

 

“Does she understand, Touma? Does she? Or does she just say she does because, like me, she's been so in love with you for so long that she can't even discern her own feelings from your desires? Does she understand, or does she just wish she did? Does she really love you, or does she just not know any better?”

 

“Mika-san understands that it's to protect Eiri-kun—” Touma started again, and something only holding on by a thread in Ryuichi snapped.

 

“Shut the fuck up about fucking Eiri-kun! Can't you even stay on the topic of me when we're talking about me leaving you?!”

 

Ryuichi went to the closet and started tearing suits off their hangers gripping the sleeve and shoulder of shirts and ripping them. Pulling against any weak seam or tear he could find and feeling a deep desperate glee at the sound of material and stitches tearing. With each pull, he shouted, “Eiri. Kun. Doesn't. Fucking. Exist!!” When that simple action was no longer enough, he went to the dresser and pulled out each drawer, throwing them in every direction, still shouting his mantra one word at a time with each throw, until they smashed against the floor and the walls. He took the cigarettes from the nightstand, pouring them all into his open fist and clenching it, throwing the crushed remnants at Touma as he shouted, “And Ryuichi doesn't fucking smoke!” Then he picked up the nightstand itself and threw it into the now-practically-empty closet, putting a large dent in the plaster.

 

Panting heavily from his sudden rage and exertion, Ryuichi stood right in front of Touma and spoke firmly. “Eiri-kun doesn't exist, and he never did for you. At least not in the way you wanted. It's been me all along, Touma, no matter how much you try to fool yourself otherwise. And now it's me leaving you. I no longer love you, Touma. Tatsuha cares about me, and I care about him. I think I might love him. So this thing between us, whatever the hell it was, has to end now. No more playing Yuki-san for you. No more hiding my lovers from you. No more Touma `rescuing' me from the ones that would stay otherwise.”

 

Touma looked like he was going to interrupt, but Ryuichi put a hand up to silence him.

 

“Touma, you told me you would repair what Tatsuha broke, but that was a lie. You can't repair me this time, because Tatsuha didn't break me! Don't you see, Touma? You're the one breaking me!! Tatsuha is different from the others. He wants to stay with me, no matter what! He was willing to stay and fight for me! Tatsuha can be the one to repair me! He'll pick up the pieces you shattered. I think I knew it already that night, and that's why I ran away. I couldn't admit it, even to myself, just then. But somehow, deep down, I think I knew. I want to be with Tatsuha, for real. I didn't even make him use a condom. Not once.”

 

Touma was a whirlwind of emotions. Hurt, sadness; pain, sorrow; shock, anguish; betrayal; depression, desperation. He couldn't believe Ryuichi was saying this to him! He had broken Ryuichi?? Ryuichi had no idea what Touma did for him! Ryuichi had loved Touma?? No, Touma had loved Ryuichi, and all he'd gotten in return was the leftovers of whatever random person the vocalist had decided to bed each night, and the inevitable reciprocation in the form of Ryuichi's private rendition of Eiri. Suddenly, he felt one emotion rising through all the others. One he could no longer suppress: anger; Touma was furious. But, he still had his trump card. “Tatsuha? Tatsuha?! You think Tatsuha can fix you? He has no idea what he's getting into! You think he actually wants you?! Tell me, Ryuichi-san, do you know why Tatsuha was wearing Eiri-san's suit that night? The suit you so generously replaced with the reproduction I paid a fortune to have made?!”

 

Ryuichi felt a twinge of guilt at this, but kept his sparking glare level with Touma's hard eyes of turquoise ice. “I never asked you for it! I never wanted it in the first place! And besides, what does that have to do with anything?!”

 

Touma's eyes widened momentarily, but he quickly put it in check, narrowing them once again as he continued venomously, “Why do you think Tatsuha was wearing Eiri-san's suit? You should know, since you replaced it for him, Tatsuha stole that suit. Want to know why? Why it was so important to go to Eiri-san's house, while he knew his brother was out of town, and borrow that particular suit? Do you know what was going on before you showed up that night to pick up Shindou-san? Tatsuha was wearing the suit to seduce Shindou-san! He was pretending to be Eiri-san for Shindou-san! Well? What do you think of your shining knight now, Ryuichi-san?!!”

 

Tears were welling up in the vocalist's eyes now, despite his desperate attempt to hold them at bay as he screamed at Touma, “You're lying! Tatsuha really likes me! He really wants to be with me!”

 

Touma laughed heartlessly, grabbing Ryuichi's upper arms roughly and getting in his face, “You think I'm lying?! Tatsuha is always trying to seduce Shindou-san. Even his band mates know how much Tatsuha has molested Shindou-san. Even Sakano-san and K-san know! That boy complains about Eiri-san's perverted little brother so much, I would be surprised if there is anyone working for NG that doesn't know, besides you! You're the only one that never realized it!!” Touma gave another mean chuckle, whispering in Ryuichi's ear, “And you even insisted on pretending to be Shindou-san during that concert you made Tatsuha stay for. You really sounded like Shindou-san that night, too. Heh, no wonder he couldn't wait to get in your pants. You and Shindou-san look so alike sometimes, it probably wasn't hard for him to pretend it was really Shindou-san he was with. My God, Shindou-san even uses the same shampoo as you; you probably even smell the same.”

 

Ryuichi gritted his teeth, blinking back his hot, pricking tears, determined not to let them fall. He raised his arms slightly, quickly dropping them back down and to either side to forcefully knock away Touma's arms, pulling out of his grasp. With a rough push against the blonde's chest, which knocked Touma to his ass, Ryuichi ran from the room, slamming the door behind him so that it rattled the frame. Despite this, Touma couldn't help but smile gloatingly, if you could call it a smile. It was more of an upward twitch to his ugly sneer, a silver gleam of triumph shining in his eyes.

 

The true realization of what he'd just done didn't even begin to sink in until he heard the front door slam, and all was quiet except for his awful sobs.

 

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A/N: *whew* Longest chapter yet. (25 pages) Hope you guys don't mind. :p There were a couple points I could've cut the chapter off instead, but I decided to go ahead and keep going to where I planned to cut it off because 1) Cutting it off earlier made it feel like I didn't get anything done in this chapter 2) The other possible cut offs were rather on the happy side, and I really wanted to end the chapter on a big dramatic note and 3) If I made this chapter shorter, then it'd just be dragging this story out for even more chapters.

 

I really want to end this story with the next chapter, but I don't know if I can. It'd be another really long chapter if I do. I may split it into two. There will also be an epilogue. And a sequel! Yes, that's right, because I've decided that the Hiro/Suguru fic Houseki wants will be a DA sequel. In fact, I was thinking, rather than just give one person a gift!fic, I'd like to give everyone a fic! Because all of you guys helped me get this far, encouraged me to continue, and totally beat out all my other fics in reviews! So I hope you guys could view a Hiro/Sug fic as your thank you!

 

Just a few notes about this chapter: I finally addressed the K issue. I actually meant to bring up his motivations in this awhile ago but… well I kinda forgot. *sweatdrop* I guess I got myself too caught up in all the other drama to worry about explaining why K was doing what he did. Gomen nasai!! Hopefully the tiny bit I put it down to in this chapter didn't do toooo much of an injustice… (Aside to sakuma_sonnet: Yes, I've read some of the manga— to book 5 only, though, because of my pact with Houseki *cough*glare*cough* So, other than just a couple small things, this is largely based on the anime, which doesn't really go into K's character as much… Did I make him too uncheerful and such? It didn't seem to me that I was, but sometimes things like that are best seen from the outside, ne?)

 

So anyway, Ryuichi finally had his freak out. Did I go over the top for that? I was really feeling it when I wrote it, and think all the emotions he's going through at the moment justify the actions. And the whole part where Touma tells Ryu the “truth” about Tatsuha and Shuu? Well, I cried when I wrote that. Not like, all blubbery or anything, but I had real tears. I don't think I've ever cried from my own writing, but maybe it was just the mood I was in. *shrug* It's sort of hard to tell about the emotional impact of your own writing.

 

Review Replies: Waaaaiiii!! Chapter 14 got the most reviews everrrrrrr!!!! (so far ^__~) Thank you guys so much!! You all rock my socks!! ^__~ Ah, and I really wanted to reply to you all individually, because I was so excited to get fifteen reviews for that chapter!! But I have my little sister-in-law's 17th birthday party to go to, at a skating rink, and need to shower and get ready for that. Really wish my head didn't currently feel like it's gonna explode out my left eye right now. I bet it would make for better festivities if I wasn't in terrible pain. *joy*

 

Anyway, though I lack time for proper replies like I'd hoped to do, I want to say Sankyuu, Thank you very much, Arigatou Gozaimasu!!! To:

 

kumachan, Britishsteph, CrypticOrchid, sakuma_sonnet, ren, Daemon, Houseki, EIRI-CHICK, hirokine, Michelle, Saya, Anon, a_writer, Mizuko Sohma, and Chihiro1985!!!!

 

*glomps many times over!!*

 

`til next time…

 

~ lg

 

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Thank you for Reading and Reviewing!!!