Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Doesn't Even Matter ❯ Eiri ( Chapter 1 )

It starts with one thing…

 

Eiri chuckled. But only a bit. It soon turned into a hacking cough. He looked on the floor. Blood. Again…But it makes sense this time. The one time I need the brat here, he decides to be at work. Murphy's Law sucks.

 

I don't know why, It doesn't even matter how hard you try,

 

He could see his phone on his desk. If he could only reach it…Suddenly excruciating pain shot through his spine. “Don't even try it. Shindou-san will be home soon and he'll be expecting you to be here waiting for him. Now we can't disappoint him, can we?”

“Bastard,” Eiri mumbled.

 

Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time, All I know…

 

What a time to die…Just when I almost finished my new book. Eiri was unusually proud of this story because it paralleled his own life more than any other. Now he had no idea if it would be published, what the fans would say, Shuichi's reaction…He'd really like it. Eiri chuckled silently. For once, I care.

 

Time is a valuable thing, Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, Watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away…

 

Isn't time supposed to slow down when you're about to die? I swear the second hand is going faster. It's 3:24. The brat's supposed to be home in…hmm, 41 minutes. I'll probably be gone by then, if he doesn't come home early. Nah, K is probably holding the entire band hostage. Oh well.

 

It's so unreal…Didn't look out below, Watch the time go right out the window…

 

He just realized that the pain in his back was gone. Had his attacker left? After a painfully disoriented minute, it came back to him: the visitor, the small talk, and the bullet in his back. Didn't even have the decency to do it to my face. He looked at his watch. 3:45. I refuse to die like this. Not today. I've got to get to the phone. “I see you thinking, Eiri-san. I've got my eye on you.” Damn.

 

Trying to hold on, but didn't even know, I wasted it all just to watch you go…

 

3:51. “I'll be leaving your company now, Eiri-san. Say hello to Kitazawa-san for me.”

Eiri's hands balled into fists. When you get there, I'll be taking over your torture myself. He watched his assailant walk out the door, mutely cursing the person to the deepest parts of hell. He turned, and put his hand out in front of him, intending to pull himself to his desk and call 911. He soon realized that he no longer had the strength to move.

 

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart…

 

Eiri's thoughts drifted back to his exuberant young lover. How would he take it? Even though Shuichi says how much he loves me, how much of it does he mean? Can he love such a cold-hearted man as me? If so, how? Why? I intentionally push him away time after time, and yet he comes back. He's an idiot.

I never got over sens…Kitazawa-san. Tohma was the only one who understood, but he was slowly killing himself with guilt, so I withdrew into myself, hoping to convince him to move on. He eventually did, but I didn't. I tried, I did. Then he came along, and made me angry, and depressed, and sick. And I still kept him. He's been through hell with me. Perhaps this is best: that I die now so he can recover.

 

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time…

 

Now the clock wants to slow down. 3:57. Eiri shivered. He was feeling cold because of the blood loss. He looked at the floor. At least we don't have carpet. His eyelids slowly drooped. He suddenly violently shook his head. There's no way in hell I'm dying eight minutes before the brat gets here. Unfortunately, there was little he could do.

Will I be remembered? Probably. But as what? A cold-hearted playboy bastard. Maybe a good writer will be thrown in there somewhere. Even my siblings would say that. The brat—no, Shuichi—has no good experiences that he can talk about. Even that crappy love song. I shudder every time I hear Shining Collection, especially once I read some of my old essays. How had my English deteriorated so much?

In time, people will forget. In 25 years, my name will have slipped from the memories of the literary world. Once my family dies, no one will know what happened with Kitazawa-san. Or to him.

 

I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter…

 

3:58. For all intents and purposes, I had “gotten over it.” I was just fooling myself. I shut myself off from everyone. But he forced his way into my heart, and now I can't get rid of him. He helped me heal.

 

I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter…

 

3:58. I'm an idiot. It took almost losing the stupid brat for me to realize how much I needed him. And now I'm finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. It's better this way. Goodbye, Shuichi. No matter how I acted, I did love you. With that thought, Eiri finally fell asleep.

 

4:05. Shuichi burst into the apartment in his usual way. “Yuki, I'm…home?” Blood greeted his eyes and nose. With shaking steps, he followed the crimson liquid to find Eiri on the floor. “Yuki, NOOOOOOOO!” He fell to his knees beside the prone figure and felt for a pulse. None. He ran to the phone to call an ambulance, tears filling his eyes. As the dispatcher told him what to do, he followed the instructions dumbly, his eyes focused on his lover's mouth, which was still open, as if he were saying something before or as he fell asleep. What was it?

 

He wasn't surprised, just incredibly sad when the paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene. As they prepared to carry his body out, he took one limp hand, kissed it, and whispered, “Aishiteru, Yuki.”