Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Gravity Well ❯ In Denial ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2: In Denial

It was way too early to be awake. It was not even starting to turn gray outside yet. It was just plain dark. Eiri stared up at the ceiling and listened to Shuichi tiptoe around the bedroom. He was trying to be quiet, with his usual complete lack of success. Normally, the noise would not have bothered Eiri at all. He would have slept right through it. But lately, it seemed like Shuichi's insomnia was starting to affect him, too. He sat up on one elbow.

“Where the hell are you going at this godforsaken hour of the morning?” Eiri demanded. “If it's even morning yet,” he added irritably.

Shuichi turned to look at him. His large luminous eyes appeared to glow in the darkness. “I'm sorry, Yuki. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Well, you did.” Eiri flopped back down. “Now come back to bed. It's too early to be up.”

Shuichi hesitated for a moment before crawling back under the blankets. He snuggled up against Eiri's side and put his head on Eiri's shoulder. “I wish I didn't keep waking up. I don't know why I do.”

“It's because you don't eat enough,” Eiri replied without thinking. He felt Shuichi stiffen. “Well, that might cause it,” he amended quickly. He turned on his side and faced Shuichi. “You are losing weight, don't deny it.”

“I know I am,” Shuichi said quietly. “I've been trying to eat more.”

Eiri cupped Shuichi's cheek in his hand. “I don't want to lose you, Shuichi. When you almost died before…” he paused. Just remembering that moment sent a wave of heartache through him. “I need you, Shu-chan.” He kissed Shuichi on the lips and felt them trembling. “Let's not talk about it right now.” He pulled Shuichi close and kissed him again, more deeply.

Shuichi responded with urgent passion. His tongue quested into Eiri's mouth, stroking eagerly against Eiri's tongue and coaxing it back into his own mouth. Eiri rolled onto his back and pulled Shuichi on top of him, kissing hungrily. Shuichi straddled him, rubbing his hardening erection against Eiri's hip. Eiri slid his hands down to caress Shuichi's buttocks, cradling them in his hands. Shuichi's skin was surprisingly soft and smooth. It always felt good beneath Eiri's fingers. He stroked the fingertips of one hand up Shuichi's spine and into his hair, holding Shuichi's mouth against his. Shuichi reached down between his legs and grasped Eiri's penis, rubbing it in a tight grip. Eiri moaned. Then Shuichi sat up enough to guide Eiri into himself and settled onto him with an excited gasp. He leaned forward and planted his hands on either side of Eiri's face. Eiri grasped him by the hips, dug his heels in, and began thrusting up into Shuichi urgently.

Shuichi's eyes were closed. “Ah! Ah! AH! AHH!” he groaned with each thrust as Eiri took him. He came, his ejaculation spraying across Eiri's chest.

Eiri kept fucking until his own release flooded him with orgasm. “Ohh!” he cried. Then he pulled Shuichi down to him and kissed him gently. “I love you, Shu-chan.”

“I love you, too, Yuki.” Shuichi put his head on Eiri's shoulder, but to Eiri's complete surprise, he didn't take a drink.

Eiri embraced him. “It's going to be all right, Shuichi. We'll work this out.”

Shuichi didn't answer.

- - - - - - - -

Shuichi entered the studio quietly. He was desperately tired, more from lack of sleep then the early morning tryst with Yuki. I should have taken a drink, Shuichi thought. I really need it. The studio was empty, except for the technician in the control room.

“Hey, Shuichi! How are you feeling?” the technician, Akira, asked through the intercom. He sounded friendly, but there was a trace of uncertainty in his voice as well.

As well there should be, Shuichi thought. “I'm better, thanks!” he replied with forced cheerfulness. “I know I'm early, but I wanted to practice my vocals before the others arrive.”

“Sure thing. Do you want me to record it?”

“Not yet. I need to warm up first.”

Akira nodded and went back to whatever he had been doing, and Shuichi stepped up to the mic. He sang scales first, just to limber up, and then began practicing his new song. The song was beautiful sung a capella. It didn't really need supporting music, which was why it bothered him so much that Fujisaki kept trying to change the mix. The song's delicacy would be over-powered by overzealous mixing. It made him question whether Fujisaki, or any of them, really understood what he was trying to do.

“You sound like Ryuichi.”

Shuichi stopped in mid-note and turned to Hiro. “Really? For a change, I wasn't trying to.” He managed a small smile.

“How's your head? Did Yuki take good care of you?” Hiro sounded faintly annoyed.

“Yes, he did. I'm much better.” Shuichi bit his lip. “Were you able to talk Fujisaki into coming back?”

“No, but I think Mr. Seguchi did. He said he'd be here.”

“Tohma did?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Hiro patted his shoulder. “Keep practicing. It sounded good.”

Shuichi nodded and turned back to the mic. He started over at the beginning and sang the song all the way through to the end without interruption or accompaniment.

“I can see why you were so adamant about the arrangement,” Tohma spoke from the doorway. “Perhaps Fujisaki was in the wrong this time.”

“But I still shouldn't have attacked him,” Shuichi responded apologetically. “I'm really sorry.” He bowed quickly.

“I'm not the one to whom you owe the apology.” Tohma strolled into the room with his hands tucked into the pockets of his long coat. “However, I'm glad to hear you say it.” He crossed the room to Shuichi and put one gloved hand over the mic, leaning close to whisper into Shuichi's ear. “I can forgive you for attacking my cousin, but I will not forgive you if something happens to Eiri. Don't forget: I know how to deal with your kind.” He favored Shuichi with a long cold look before turning to stroll casually from the room.

Cold fear shivered down Shuichi's spine.

Hiro frowned. “What did he say?”

“Nothing important,” Shuichi lied. “He just warned me not to let it happen again.”

“And you won't, right?”

“Yes.” Shuichi faced him. “I promise to be on my best behavior from now on.”

“Good. I want to practice my part. Sing it again.”

They rehearsed for about ten minutes more before Fujisaki arrived. He marched into the studio with an angry frown and went straight to his keyboards. Shuichi felt horribly guilty. The purple bruises just starting to fade to a mottled green on his throat looked like fingers. Shuichi stepped in front of him and bowed deeply.

“Please forgive me, Fujisaki-kun! My assault on you was unwarranted! I make no excuses! I sincerely, humbly apologize for my behavior.” He remained bent over, waiting for Fujisaki to respond.

“Seguchi-san told me I must come back, so I'm here,” he replied angrily. “But even he won't persuade me next time! You aren't the only one in this band who matters.”

“Yes, Fujisaki-kun!” Shuichi straightened up. “And it won't happen again, I promise. I'll behave like a professional from now on.”

Fujisaki just sniffed. “Why don't we resume?”

To Shuichi's astonishment, Fujisaki played the arrangement the way Shuichi wanted it, with only a few embellishments.

After four hours of rehearsal, Shuichi was so exhausted he could barely carry a tune. He collapsed onto his knees with relief when Mr. Sakano said they could stop for the day.

Hiro squatted down beside him. “Why don't you come have lunch with me? You look like you could use a good meal.”

Shuichi shook his head tiredly. “Thanks, Hiro, but I think I'd like to just go home and sleep. Maybe tomorrow?”

Hiro stood up. “That's what you always say, lately. I wonder if you even eat anymore?”

Shuichi froze as Hiro left. He didn't think anyone else had noticed. But it was foolish to think that Hiro wouldn't have. They'd known each other too long. Shuichi climbed to his feet and headed for the door.

“Shindou-kun?”

Shuichi froze again. “Yes, Fujisaki-kun?”

“Tomorrow, I would like you to listen to one change I'd like to make in the arrangement.”

“Of course.” Shuichi hurried out. He needed to get home. He needed Yuki.

- - - - - - - -

Eiri was deep into his novel, typing steadily when the door opened. Shuichi stopped in the doorway, looking like an animated corpse. Eiri stared at him with a sinking heart.

“Shu-chan, what's the matter?”

“I'm so hungry!” he whispered. He leaned against the door frame and held his hand out to Eiri. “Please?!”

Eiri saved his file and stood up. Stepping away from the desk, he folded his arms and regarded Shuichi with concern. “It's not good for you. You need to stop.”

“I will! I promise! But I'm so hungry right now, I can't think!” He held both hands out beseechingly. “Oh please, Yuki! Just a little!”

Eiri sighed. His sense of smell wasn't as strong as it had been, but he could smell Shuichi's hunger. He was ravenous. Eiri opened his arms. “All right.”

Shuichi flew into his embrace, his mouth pressing hungrily against Eiri's throat. But, as hungry as he was, his bite was as careful as always. He sucked with big, deep gulps, drawing the blood desperately from Eiri's neck. Growing arousal slowly hardened Eiri as Shuichi drank, and he had to fight the urge to throw Shuichi onto the floor and fuck him.

“Shuichi,” he said finally, “you should stop.”

Shuichi stopped immediately. “Did I hurt you?” he asked worriedly.

“No, but unless you want to get fucked right where you're standing, you need to stop.”

Shuichi grinned. “Who says I don't want to get fucked right where I'm standing?”

The change in him was like night and day. His eyes were bright, his skin glowed. He no longer looked like he was one step away from death.

Eiri cupped Shuichi's face in his hand. “I do. I need to eat now.” He kissed Shuichi on the nose. “And I want you to eat, too. Something other than me.”

Shuichi trailed after him to the kitchen. “There're other parts of you I could eat, you know,” he said with a chuckle.

“Fag.” Eiri replied absently from inside the fridge. “You can't live on that either. Dammit! There's nothing in here but beer.” He shut the door with a thump. “We need to go shopping.”

“Let's go out to dinner.”

“I'm not buying you any food unless you eat it.”

“I'll eat! I'll eat! I promise.” Shuichi grabbed his arm. “Let's go to the noodle shop on the corner. I love their broth.”

“Ok.”

Shuichi did eat his noodles, much to Eiri's relief and surprise. He also seemed more like his usual hyper, talkative self. On the way back, he talked Eiri into renting a movie, but they never saw the end of it. As soon as the movie started playing, Shuichi crawled into his lap and began making out with him. They ended up naked on the floor, fucking urgently.

Afterward, Shuichi let out a long, happy sigh. “I love living with you, Yuki. It's so nice to be able to make love with you whenever I want.”

Eiri snorted. “Yeah, my editor's going to want to talk to you about that. My book's about a month overdue.”

“I just get so turned on whenever I look at you.” Shuichi kissed his shoulder. “It's your own fault, anyway. Need I remind you who deflowered whom?”

“You needn't.” Eiri glanced at the TV. “Movie's done. It must be bed time.” He got up and turned off the TV and the DVD player.

Shuichi sat up. “Yuki, do you ever regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“Making love to me that first time.”

“No.” Eiri glanced at him. “Why? Do you?”

Shuichi shook his head. “I just wonder sometimes how different it would be.”

Eiri grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him to his feet. “For one thing, my book would probably be done.”

Shuichi made a face and punched his arm. “That's all you can think of?”

“Well…” Eiri rubbed his arm. “I'd probably be calling a cab for some hot babe right now instead of preparing to spend the night with a squirming little twerp who snores.”

“I don't snore!” Eiri caught his hand before Shuichi could punch him again and Shuichi stuck out his tongue. “And I don't squirm, either.”

Eiri put his arm around Shuichi's waist and pinched his butt. Shuichi yelped.

“Why are you asking me this, Shu-chan? Feeling insecure?”

“No, I just…” he paused. “I just sometimes wonder if you'd be better off without me,” he finished in a small voice.

Eiri turned Shuichi to face him and gripped his shoulders with both hands. “I am happy with the way things are, Shuichi. I admit we have a few problems to work through, but I'd rather have you with me than not, ok?” When Shuichi didn't answer right away, Eiri shook him gently. “Ok?”

“Ok.” Shuichi looked up at him with enormous eyes. “I love you more than everything, Yuki.”

“I know. I love you, too.”