Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ In Love and Hate ❯ And So It Begins ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: Kolie

Hello, everyone! Here's chapter 5...

Disclaimer: I'm lacking the creativity right now to come up with new one so just imagine. I don't own it so you can't sue me! There! Ha, ha! Oh yeah, and “Rain,” of course, belongs to Breaking Benjamin and not me.

And So It Begins…

“Tatsuha.” Shuichi muttered the name as if it were poison as he lifted his eyes to his boyfriend's face.

Tatsuha stood outside the door to their apartment with anger and a frown of confusion scarring his beautiful features. His grey eyes bored into Shuichi's foggy amethyst ones and he beckoned him into the apartment.

“Come on,” he said and returned to the confines of their home.

Shuichi hung his head and followed reluctantly, not wanting to be the victim of Tatsuha's anger. He hadn't done anything wrong, right? Well, nothing that Tatsuha had to find out about right away, but that wasn't the point. Tatsuha had no idea what went on behind the door of Yuki's home and didn't have the right to act like he was.

The apartment was cold and dark. The door to the balcony was open and through it Shuichi could see that the snow was still falling. Harder now, but at the same time it was still soft. Unlike rain or sleet or hail which shot pains down your back the harder it fell. Tatsuha closed the door, shutting out Shuichi's view of the outside world, and the apartment went completely dark.

“Don't act like you weren't over there, Shindou,” Tatsuha muttered. “You can't act like I didn't see you.”

Shuichi flinched at his own name. Tatsuha never called him Shindou unless he was fuming.

“I haven't opened my mouth to say anything, Uesugi, so don't be so quick to jump to conclusions,” he snapped, smirking slightly when he saw Tatsuha flinch at the mention of his own name.

“Now's not the time to be a smart ass, Shuichi. Why the fuck were you over there?”

“To apologize,” Shuichi muttered and crossed his arms over his chest.

“To apologize? For what, leaving him because he beat you? There's nothing for you to apologize for.”

“I apologized for your behavior, Tatsuha!” Shuichi yelled. “And don't you tell me that you never did anything wrong!”

Tatsuha laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, like that was all you did. Tell me, Shuichi, how did he like your apology? Was it just like old times?”

Shuichi gaped at his boyfriend's behavior and crossed the apartment to smack him. “Dammit, Tatsuha, open your eyes and look around you! I love you! Not Yuki!” he yelled and wrapped his arms tightly around his lover. “I apologized for you, yeah, so what? I don't know if it'll keep him from fighting you but at least I tried.”

Slowly, Tatsuha relaxed and pulled Shuichi tight against him. A muffled sob escaped from between them and Tatsuha pulled him even closer. He squeezed Shuichi so tightly that he began to wheeze and cough.

'He's a wreck,' Shuichi as he let Tatsuha cry into his shoulder. 'Could I really be this blind? I never knew how much this was tearing him apart. And the fighting with Yuki can't be helping him much. God, why did this have to happen? Touma, you bastard, I'll get you back for this.'

Tatsuha pulled away and allowed Shuichi just enough time to take a breath before sealing his lips in a passionate kiss. “Gomen, Shuichi,” he said when they pulled apart. “Aishiteru.”

“I know,” Shuichi said and walked off to their bedroom. “I'm gonna go to bed. You can come if you want.”

Tatsuha nodded and followed silently. Neither talked as they changed into their bed clothes, nor did they talk when they climbed next to each other into bed. Tatsuha curled up on his side, like usual, next to Shuichi and Shuichi wrapped his arms around him. They fell asleep that way, wrapped in each other's arms. Safe from the cold, harsh reality in each other's embrace.

-------------

Photo shoots. He hated photo shoots. Hated all the bright lights, hated all the different clothes changes, hated being surrounded by giggling make-up artists and perverted photographers. It was too much bustle for him and his head hadn't stopped hurting in a little more than a week. He had gone to the doctor two days before to get his head checked out but nothing came up. He was perfectly fine, it was just stress. The doctor had asked what the stress was from, and he told him. The doctor left the room and came back ten minutes later with a business card with the telephone number circled on it. He had been told to give it to the source of his stress because it would help him…

Hiro opened his eyes and looked around the cold warehouse set. The photo shoot was originally planned to take place outside but they hadn't planned on the foot of snow that was also lying on the ground. So, they moved the shoot inside with a set.

“This should be fun,” Hiro muttered under his breath in sarcasm.

He was the first one there, as always, and had already been courted by three of the make-up artists. Just another day in Hiroshi Nakano's life. He had always been seen as the attractive one while Shuichi had always just been the “cute” one. With his cute pink hair, large boyish amethyst eyes, and bubbly attitude, Shuichi had been harder to resist than something deep-fried and smothered in chocolate. But that had been before Yuki left him, before he let his pink hair grow out and return to its normal shade of black, before his heart grew icy, before he finally grew into a man. It was a harsh way for anyone to be smacked into reality; there were definitely other less damaging ways that it could have happened, but that was how Yuki worked.

Hiro sighed and shook his head. All this thinking was making his head hurt even more. He pulled the bottle of prescription migraine medicine from his pocket and popped a few into his mouth before swallowing them dry. The taste was disgusting and it lingered in the back of his mouth but he had other things to worry about. Shuichi had just walked in and was scanning the warehouse for his friend. His eyes grew wide when he saw Hiro and a goofy smile spread across his face before he ran to his friend.

“Hey, Hiro, sorry I'm late!” he yelled and stopped smiling when Hiro cringed at his voice. “Inside voices, yeah, sorry. Head still hurting?”

“Yeah, and the prescription hasn't done shit. That doctor was a waste of time,” Hiro muttered and stood up to stretch. “Any chance that you saw Ben and/or Fujisaki out there when you pulled in?”

Shuichi frowned in concern and shook his head. “Nope, I didn't see either of them. Suguru's been late more than usual, huh? Strange.”

“He had to break sometime,” Hiro chuckled and sat down again, patting the seat beside him.

Shuichi took the offered seat and laid a hand on Hiro's arm. “You okay, man? You look…beat.”

“I've had a lot of time to think, Shuichi.” For some reason, Hiro's words sent a chill racing up Shuichi's spine.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Depends on which side you're on. It's good for me, but I don't know about you.”

Shuichi sighed. “Haven't we had this conversation already, Hiro? You don't understand me, I know, but we can't let that get between us again. We were at each other's throats way to often last time, and I don't want to worry about losing you again.”

“I know, Shuichi, but it's hard. I want to understand, hell I've tried so hard to do it, but I just can't.”

“I want you to understand, too, but how can I help you understand something that I don't even understand myself? Yeah, Eiri's return triggered it, but it's not the only reason.”

“Then what are the other reasons, Shuichi?”

Shuichi sighed and diverted his eyes to the ground before responding. “I don't know.”

“What do you mean `I don't know'? How in the hell can you not know why you're cutting yourself? I would have believed it four years ago, but not today. You're not that dense anymore, Shuichi.”

“I know, Hiro, but I'm telling the truth.”

“Bullshit, Shuichi, and until you can tell me the truth I don't want to see or hear you unless it's something to do with Bad Luck,” Hiro snapped and stood up abruptly. “Good-bye Shuichi.”

Shuichi sat frozen as he watched Hiro's retreating figure. He felt the tears stinging at the corners of his but wiped them away quickly as Ben entered the warehouse and ran up to him.

“Hey, Shu-chan!” Ben exclaimed with a large smile, but the smile fell off his face when he saw the stray tear fall down Shuichi's lightly tanned cheeks. “You okay?”

“I…don't know,” Shuichi muttered and hung his head.

“Well don't worry,” Ben said and plopped down in the chair next to him, “Doctor Miller's here now and can fix all your problems!”

A small smile tugged lightly at the corners of Shuichi's lips and Ben grinned.

“Ah-ha, there's the smile we all love to see!” he joked and elbowed Shuichi lightly in the side. “Now start talkin'.”

Shuichi sighed and took a minute to go over everything that had happened in the five minute time span in his head. “Hiro's pissed at me because…because of my cutting. He says that he doesn't understand me, but…I dunno,” Shuichi mumbled though small sobs. “I'm so confused. I need him, but he doesn't understand that. He doesn't want to be near me. I hate this! I hate hurting everyone like this!”

Ben sighed and went over the information in his head. He had been told about Shuichi's relationship with Yuki and understood the repercussions their breakup had on Shuichi. He still hated Yuki, even though he didn't know him, for hurting his friend like that. He had also been told about the blonde's, well…brunette's, return to Japan. He hated to admit it, but he had been through the whole cutting phase as a teenager and now had to be on anti-depressants for the rest of his life because of it. He shook his head to clear it and said the same thing everyone had told him when he went through it. “They why don't you just stop?”

Shuichi flashed a self-depreciating smile and shook his head. “It's not that easy, you of all people should know that, Ben.”

“I know, I know. It's not easy to stop, but, Shuichi, you can't keep doing this to yourself. I have to take Zoloft for the rest of my life because of what I did. You don't want that, it sucks. I know you can't just stop now, it takes a lot of time, but you can. Just look at me. I stopped and I'm perfectly fine, well…as fine as I'm gonna get. And, I know you've heard this a million times before, but you're not alone. Me and Tatsuha'll always be here for you. I wish I could say the same thing about Hiro, but hopefully he'll come around soon. He just did the worst thing he could possibly do, hopefully it won't take him long to realize it.”

“Thanks,” Shuichi mumbled and smiled. “Thanks a lot.”

“No problem!” Ben exclaimed and jumped up as Suguru entered the warehouse. “Hey, Fujisaki!”

Shuichi stood up and followed Ben slowly to where Hiro and Suguru stood. He wanted to look up from the ground, but he kept his head down. Looking up would mean seeing Hiro and seeing Hiro would mean tears. He kept his head down as the make-up artists and staff threw clothes on his body and caked make-up on his face before sending him out to the photographer.

“Konnichiwa, members of Bad Luck!” the photographer exclaimed and frowned slightly. “Hey, why all the long faces? Today's supposed to be a fun day!”

The band members threw “what-in-the-hell” glances at each other, Hiro and Shuichi avoiding eye contact, and then reluctantly followed the photographer to the set.

Several long, overly-energetic hours later, the members of Bad Luck reentered the outside world to a beautiful moon that shone high in the night sky, exhausted. Shuichi wanted to grab Hiro and try talking to him before the auburn-haired man left, but the ring of his cell phone destroyed that plan.

“Hello?” he asked, voice a little harsher than originally intended.

“Shuichi?” The raven-haired man's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the voice on the other line.

“Ei-eiri?” He knew that he stuttered the question and scowled when he heard a small gust of air as Yuki let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, it's Eiri.”

“How in the hell did you get my cell number? Did you break into my house or…did you force it out of Tatsuha?” A small smile tugged at Shuichi's mouth as he climbed into his car to escape the fridged weather.

“Neither. If memory serves me right, this was your number four years ago,” Yuki said. “I just figured I'd try dialing it to see if it was still yours.”

“Well, obviously, it's still mine. So…whaddya want?””

The line was silent for a minute and Shuichi was about to make sure Yuki didn't hang up on him when an unusually shy voice responded. “To see if we could meet somewhere.”

Shuichi crinkled his brow at the tone of Yuki's voice and smiled. “For what exactly?”

“To talk,” Yuki muttered.

“And…?”

Shuichi heard Yuki laugh at the singsong tone of his voice before responding. “Nothing in particular. I just want to talk.”

“Bull,” Shuichi chuckled. “You can tell me, it's not like Tatsuha's with me and can hear our conversation. I just got done with a photo shoot so I'm all alone.” Shuichi pouted slightly as he finished and his smile grew even bigger when he heard the smile on Yuki's face.

“Fine, fine, I want to see you again, okay?” he whispered.

“What? I couldn't hear that last part,” Shuichi teased.

“I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Yuki yelled into the phone and Shuichi heard him let out a sigh of relief.

'Thatwas eating him up this much? My God, I guess some people really dochange,' he thought.

“God, bust my eardrums why don't ya. I don't think I'll be able to hear properly for a week,” he joked.

“Sorry,” Yuki muttered and Shuichi jumped at how sorry he actually sounded.

“No problem. Now, when and where do you want to meet?”

“You...you actually want to see me?” Yuki's voice was full of surprise and hope at the younger man's response.

“Well, yeah, silly. If I didn't I wouldn't be asking now would I?”

Yuki laughed and thought for a second before answering. “When are you free?”

“Well…let's see. Me and Tatsuha don't have anything planned for tonight, so…tonight's the nearest. I'm gonna be leaving in a week or so for America and I won't be back for a month, then I'll be on a tour of Japan in February, so after tonight I have no idea.”

“How about tonight then?”

Shuichi smiled and complied effortlessly. “Sounds good, to me, but we still need a place?”

“Well, not at home because I don't want Tatsuha to get his panties in a wad, so how about…Club 812?”

'A nightclub? Hm, this is different for Yuki, but interesting, Shuichi thought.'

“Fine, what time?”

“How about, uh, let's see…how about ten?”

“I'll see ya there,” Shuichi said and heard Yuki let out another sigh of relief. “You sound relieved,” he joked.

“Well, I didn't exactly think that you'd agree so easily,” Yuki muttered, “but thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Don't worry about it,” Shuichi said and actually felt a small blush creep up his face. “I didn't want to stay home with pissy Tatsuha all night anyway. He's just like a woman with PMS…all the time.”

Yuki snorted and they said their good-byes before Shuichi drove home to meet “pissy Tatsuha”. He pulled into the parking garage and didn't notice that his truck was missing until he made it into his apartment and threw his keys onto the counter.

'Hey, my truck was gone!' he thought and searched the counter for a note from Tatsuha but came up empty. 'Not good…no note means pissy Tatsuha. Pissy Tatsuha means angry Shuichi leaving early.'

He searched the house and, sure enough, Tatsuha wasn't home and the other set of keys was missing.

“Damn,” Shuichi muttered and searched his closet for something to wear to the club later on that night.

He settled on a pair of baggy khaki jeans and a black tee-shirt; nothing out of the ordinary, but nothing that he would get noticed in at a sweaty night club either. He left the walk-through closet though the door that joined it to the bathroom and started the water as he heard the front door open.

“Damn,” he muttered and quickly grabbed a towel before Tatsuha would notice that he wasn't in the shower yet.

He stepped in and let the warm water run down his face before grabbing the bottle of shampoo. The same shampoo he used when he used to live with Yuki, well…before that actually. Since he was in middle school because it was the same shampoo his god Ryuichi Sakuma used. Shuichi chuckled slightly and poured a small amount into the palm of his hand.

'If only I had known the man-child back then. God, that seems like so long ago.'

He lathered the shampoo that smelled like rainy days and juniper into his hair and froze for a second when he heard the bathroom door open and saw Tatsuha's figure, smoky from the steam, enter the make-shift sauna.

“Hey, Tat!” Shuichi yelled and rinsed the bubbles from his hair. “I was wonderin' when you were gonna get home.”

“Just had to get out,” Tatsuha muttered and grabbed something from a drawer in the sink before leaving again.

“Love you, too!” Shuichi yelled with a twinge of sarcasm and finished the rest of his shower quickly.

He got out, dried off, and dressed in record time and checked his dresser for his necklace before getting a good idea. He walked out to the living room to see that Tatsuha was sitting on the couch staring a blank television screen.

“Hey, Tat, I can't find my balls. Can you help me find them?” he joked, hoping that his boyfriend would notice the reference he always used to his necklace.

“Your necklace is on your dresser like always, Shuichi,” Tatsuha mumbled and Shuichi crinkled his brow at the younger man's weird behavior.

“I was just joking, but Tatsuha… I guess tv's more educational with it off, but God, isn't it boring?” he joked again, wanting to get some kind of humorous response out of his lover. He was happy for once and wanted Tatsuha to be happy with him.

Tatsuha just grunted and Shuichi walked over to the younger man, plopping down onto the couch next to him. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Tatsuha muttered and searched the couch for the remote control.

“Liar,” Shuichi chuckled and nudged Tatsuha slightly in the side. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“It's nothing, Shuichi,” Tatsuha said with a small laugh and shoved the man who had decided to make his lap a cushion away from him.

That was it; Shuichi turned on the puppy eyes and pouted prettily. No one had ever been able to resist the pout. “Please, koi? Aishiteru.”

Tatsuha snorted at his boyfriend's pout and gave Shuichi enough time for a smile before kissing him.

“I love you, too, Shuichi,” Tatsuha muttered when they pulled apart to breathe a few seconds later.

“Then tell me what's wrong, please.” It wasn't a question, it was a demand and Tatsuha knew that even if he tried to change the subject they would just end up returning to it later.

“I'm just stressed out. Between you and finals at college, I think I'm gonna go insane! It's so hard.”

“I know but as long as I have you I'll be okay.”

“Nah, even if I left you'd still have Hiro after me.” Tatsuha saw his boyfriend flinch slightly at his words and frowned in concern. “Did something happen between you guys or something?”

Shuichi diverted his attention from Tatsuha's face and stared at the blue glow that the fish tank cast on the wall. “Or something… He says that he doesn't `understand' me and doesn't want to be around me until I can make him `understand. If anything, I don't understand him!”

“Oh sorry, Shuichi. Hopefully he'll come around soon.”

“That's what Ben said, but ya wanna know somethin'? Fuck him. If he won't even try, fuck him!” Inside the words hurt Shuichi more than anything but he kept up a strong front.

“Want me to try and talk some sense into him?” Tatsuha asked.

“Nah, he doesn't deserve it,” Shuichi said and kissed Tatsuha lightly. “Now, I'm gonna have to leave around nine-thirty to go meet with some big wig executive guys at NG about the album. Don't expect me home `til late, okay?”

“Okay,” Tatsuha said and eyed Shuichi in suspicion. “How come they wanna meet so late?”

“We didn't think that we were gonna get out of the photo shoot as early as we did. Besides, I can concentrate better at night and it's just me meeting with them.”

Tatsuha nodded his head, eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Okay. If you say so.”

“I do,” Shuichi said and consulted his watch. “Fuck! Maybe we didn't get out as early as I thought we did. It's already nine-forty-five. I gotta go!”

Shuichi kissed Tatsuha one last time before running to the door and slipping into his Chuck's and a red and black flannel jacket. “Aishiteru, Tatsuha!” he yelled before disappearing out the door and to his car to meet “the executives.”

-------------

Blue eyes scanned the crowded night club for the man he was supposed to meet. Time really did fly by when you rushed to get ready and he had managed to lose track of it somehow. He had been so surprised by the agreement that it actually took a minute of sitting in silence for it to sink in.

His eyes instantly landed on a man dancing alone in the middle of the sweaty crowd on the dance floor. A ghost of a smile flashed across his features and he made his way through the packed and sweaty crowd as fast as they would allow him.

“Hey, brat,” he said and put a hand on the man's shoulder to alert the man of his presence.

The man stopped dancing and turned around with a huge grin on his face. “Eiri, hey!” Shuichi yelled over the music and pulled the man away from the dance floor. “I was wondering when you were gonna show.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, I lost track of time,” Yuki yelled in reply.

“Ah, don't worry about it. I just got here a few minutes ago myself.”

“And you're already bathed in sweat? How hard have you been dancing?”

Shuichi smiled and ran his finger through his drenched hair. “I had to let my energy out somehow.”

“Oh.” Yuki smiled and ordered a drink, after Shuichi, from the bartender.

“You never liked coming here before,” Shuichi yelled. “Why the sudden change?”

“People change, Shuichi,” Yuki said and took a swig of his rum and coke. “Just look at you.”

Shuichi laughed and they polished off their drinks before the younger man led Yuki out onto the dance floor again.

“You dance yet?” he yelled and laughed when Yuki nodded. “Let's see it then!”

Yuki started moving to the music and Shuichi stood back to watch. He had to admit, Yuki did look good. He wore a black dress shirt, unbuttoned just enough to show a little man cleavage, with a black leather trench coat and pants. He had never seen Yuki wear so much leather before and, as he stood there watching him dance, Shuichi began to realize why he had been so attracted to the man. No, his looks hadn't been the only reason, but they had been one of the many.

He watched as Yuki ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging the beautiful raindrop-like sweat. He moved his hands down his hips and then reached out for Shuichi.

“I'm not gonna do this alone!” he yelled and Shuichi started to laugh.

“Sorry, I was…-“ he started but Yuki interrupted.

“Preoccupied?” he said with a smirk. “I know I'm sexy, but damn, Shuichi. You don't have to stare.”

A small blush began to creep up Shuichi's face and Yuki grinned slightly. “I wasn't staring, Eiri,” he muttered and started to move along with the music as well.

Yuki rolled his eyes and followed Shuichi's cue to dance. The only music they played in this club was rock, none of the rap shit that Yuki could never understand. “Duality” by Slipknot started to play and Shuichi “oo-ed”

“I love this song!” he yelled and frowned when they cut it off. “Hey!”

“Time for karaoke!” the DJ exclaimed and the crowd roared. “Everyone find a seat and sit back and relax while you watch others make complete fools of themselves!”

The crowd laughed and thinned as quickly as possible as everyone made their ways to one of the tables or the bar to get trashed or even more trashed than they already would.

“Sweetness!” Shuichi exclaimed as he and Yuki took seats at one of the tables.

Yuki gazed at the excited man from the corner of his eye and frowned. “You didn't by chance sign up, did you?”

“Hell yeah!” Shuichi laughed. “Karaoke kicks ass!”

Yuki smiled and propped his elbow on the table to rest his head in his hand. “Only you could have so much fun making an idiot of yourself without being fucked up.”

Shuichi nodded and grinned as the DJ called out the first name. A nervous looking woman that looked to be no older than nineteen made her way onto the stage and smiled slightly as her friends cheered. The opening to Lacuna Coil's “Angel's Punishment” began and more cheers erupted from the tables and stools. Her smile became more confident and the nervous quivering slowly stopped with the encouragement.

“Destruction…War, fighting in defense…” She started the song and the crowd yelled even louder.

“It's like she's actually Cristina Scabbia!” Shuichi yelled as she wrapped the song up. “Not a bad voice, either.”

Yuki nodded and watched as she left the stage with catcalls and chants and was replaced by the next singer. This time it was an older man who was completely wasted and didn't know any of the words to his song of choice (“Master of Puppets” by Metallica). He didn't know the different between the crowds' laughter and cheers and he took a small bow as the song ended nine minutes later.

“Next up we have Daisuke Kobata,” the DJ announced and Shuichi stood up.

“What're you doing? That's not you,” Yuki whispered.

“You don't think I'm dumb enough to use my real name, do you? God, Yuki, I'm not an idiot!” he muttered and made his way up to the stage. A few whispers followed him: “Is that Shindou from Bad Luck?” “It looks like him…”. Shuichi ignored them and took the microphone that was handed to him before the song started up.

It was a slow, mournful song by one of his favorite band of all time, even a little above Nittle Grasper. His favorite song by his favorite band…it seemed appropriate. “Rain” was such a beautiful song and he was starting to wish that they had done it on their album, but they hadn't been allowed.

Take a photograph,
It'll be the last,
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,
I don't have a past,
I just have a chance,
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,

Rain, rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Is it you I want,
Or just the notion of
a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around
Safe to say from here,
You're getting closer now,
We are never sad `cause we are not allowed to be…

A small tear ran down Shuichi's face and he cursed at the bright lights that he knew reflected it. He hoped that the crowd would just think that it was sweat, but he knew one person out there who would see it for what it really was…the one person he didn't want to know.

Rain, rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

To lie here under you
is all that I could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,

Rain, rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Shuichi ended the song to a roar of applause and quickly rushed off from the stage to return to his seat. He plastered a fake smile on his face as he sat down and saw Yuki looking at him, searching him.

“What?” he asked and smiled slightly. “God, I forgot how much fun that was! I wish I had put my name in again.” He tried to keep the conversation away from his performance and was glad that Yuki realized that.

“Wanna head home?” Yuki asked. “You look exhausted.”

Shuichi checked his watch and saw that only an hour had passed. “Nah, I'm fine. Besides, I told Tatsuha that I wouldn't be home until late, anyway.”

“We can go back to my place…if you want. I mean, you don't have to,” Yuki muttered and Shuichi gawked as a slight blush crept up his face.

“Sure, we just gotta make sure we're really quiet so Tat won't hear us,” Shuichi said with a smirk.

Yuki smiled and followed Shuichi out of the club. Their reentrance into the cold night air was a shock, but refreshing at the same time. The fresh air was a hell of a lot more pleasant to breathe than the stuffy night club oxygen and they each said quick good-byes for no apparent reason before going to their own cars and driving back to their building.

Shuichi got there first and waited on the trunk of his car for Yuki to pull up a few minutes later. He jumped off as Yuki opened his door, and grabbed the man's arm to lead him to a foreboding looking door before Yuki had time to protest.

“Stairs,” Shuichi explained when he saw the look of confusion on the man's features. “We don't want Tatsuha to hear the elevator now do we? I'll be in deep shit in the morning if he does.”

“Good idea,” Yuki muttered and snuck out of the door after Shuichi when they finally reached their floor a few minutes later.

Shuichi stood behind the brunette as he unlocked the door quietly and shifted feet in nerves as he worried about Tatsuha opening the door. When he didn't, Shuichi let out a sigh of relief and followed Yuki into the large apartment.

“Drink, cigarette, music, anything?” Yuki asked as he threw his keys onto the counter.

“Cancer stick, please, and it depends on the music,” Shuichi said and followed Yuki's finger as he pointed to the stereo in his room.

“CDs are in there if you wanna look at them,” Yuki said and disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes.

Shuichi took off his jacket and looked over the large CD collection, gawking at how many good CDs Yuki had. Metallica, Perfect Circle, Nirvana, Seether, Lacuna Coil, Slipknot, Soil, Linkin Park, Smile Empty Soul, Velvet Revolver…so many good CDs and so little time. Shuichi searched and almost squealed in joy when he saw the Breaking Benjamin CD. He still hadn't gotten his back from Suguru and had been dying to listen to it.

“Care if I put in Breaking Benjamin?” he yelled.

“No,” Yuki said as he walked out of the kitchen and entered his room, “they're my favorite band so I listen to them any chance that I can.”

“Sweet!” Shuichi exclaimed and popped the CD into the stereo, putting it on random. He hated listening to a CD the same way every time and always put his CDs on random to mix it up a little bit.

“I'm guessing you like them, too?” Yuki asked and turned the volume down so they could just hear the music over their voices. “Judging by how loud to you had it I'm guessing that you'd even risk waking Tatsuha to hear them.”

A blush crept up Shuichi's face as he realized how dumb he had been and he frowned. “Sorry, I forgot, but yeah. They're my favorite band, too.”

Yuki walked over to the small futon he put in his room for reading and plopped down onto it, holding out his cigarette box for Shuichi to take one.

“You changed your brand,” Shuichi noticed. “No more Pall Malls?”

“I like Marlboros better,” Yuki said and tossed Shuichi his lighter.

“Me too,” Shuichi said and sat down on the couch next to Yuki while taking a drag. “You're the one that got me hooked on these damned things, ya know.”

“Probably,” Yuki laughed and put the cigarette out after one drag. “I'm trying to quit, though.”

“Ah-ha! Finally all my hard work pays off!” Shuichi joked and put his cigarette out as well. “Yeah, I'm trying to quit, too. Tatsuha quit years ago and wants me to quit `cause he's afraid I'm gonna get sick. Well, kinda the same reason I wanted you to quit, actually.”

Yuki laughed and before he knew what was happening he found himself pinned down on the couch underneath Shuichi. Their lips made contact with bruising force and it took a minute for Yuki to realize what was going on before he could react. He lifted the man off of him and carried him over the bed. Shuichi sat up and pulled Yuki on top of him, wrapping his arms around the man's neck to pull him closer. Yuki moved his hands down and rested them on Shuichi hips, running his tongue gently over the younger man's bottom lip.

Shuichi responded obligingly and let Yuki's tongue enter his mouth. He shivered slightly as their tongues touched but came back and stroked back softly, chasing Yuki's tongue into its owner's mouth. His tongue explored every corner of Yuki's mouth and he moaned into the kiss slightly as Yuki used one hand to clear the hair away from the base of his neck so they could taste the skin there.

Shuichi slid the heavy leather jacket from Yuki's shoulders and let it fall to the floor before moving back enough so they could lie on the bed completely instead of half-on half-off, their mouths never leaving each other.

The force of their kiss became less intense and bruising and more passionate and avid. Shuichi felt Yuki's muscles tense as he slid his hands underneath his shirt, letting his hands dance up and down the man's bare spine. Shuichi pushed himself up into a seated position and pulled away from Yuki for a minute. Yuki, bored without something to suck on, nipped and sucked carefully along Shuichi's neck as Shuichi slowly unbuttoned the black dress shirt and slid it from his shoulders. Yuki slid his hands up under Shuichi's tee shirt and pulled it over the man's head. He pulled away from the man's enticing neck for a moment to gawk what had been hidden under the layer of fabric. He knew that Shuichi wasn't a boy anymore but he hadn't been expecting him to be so…ripped.

“See anything interesting?” Shuichi smirked but didn't give Yuki enough time to answer before he crashed his lips against the brunette's.

Shuichi's fingers found refuge in Yuki's discolored hair as they fell back down onto the bed. He opened his eyes to see that Yuki was looking at him and, when they pulled apart to breathe, said: “You look so different with blue eyes and brown hair.” He gently brushed a lock of the tarnished hair out of Yuki's face and used his fingers to trace down along Yuki's jaw line to his chin. He used his hand to pull Yuki close again and kissed him.

“I don't like it, either,” Yuki muttered when the pulled apart again.

“I never said that I didn't like it. You just look different, `s all. There's nothing bad about looking different, I mean, look at me,” he said and was about to ask something else when Yuki kissed him again.

Shuichi couldn't take it anymore. He moved his hands down to the waistband of Yuki's leather pants and unbuttoned the first few buttons, just enough for him to slip out of them.

When they were done, Yuki rolled off of Shuichi and pulled the exhausted man into his arms, stroking his hair lightly and kissing his sweat slicked brow softly. They fell asleep in each other's arms a few minutes later, “Rain” playing softly in the background.

TBC…

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A/N: And there you have it. I hope you all liked it. And thank you sooo much for you reviews! They're my food and keep me going!... OH YEAH! Sorry for any typos…I've edited but I have a tendency to overlook things after I've read for the four millionth time…