Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Lover's Fool ❯ Chapter 2
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: ForlornShadowLily009 
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.01.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 176 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.01.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 176 | Status: Completed
Chapter 2 Endless Whispers in the Night; Silent Screams in the Day
Disclaimer. I own nothing but this story and its creativeness
Warnings mature themes, Angst. AU. Vamp. Fic
To Devils-Advocate3 thank you so much! wow that was an awesome review! yes shuichi will have a igger part but not till later. you'll just have to wait and see. wink. anyway thanks so much! for a writer's dream in a reader!
14536598698-
Blood…. crimson red as the brightest wine, drips from my lips and falls slowly down to the crowd below. It mixes with the falling tears of the sky and slowly loses its permanent, staining color. I watch fascinated and disgusted all at the same time as its substance and entity is dissolved in heavens tears. Down, hundreds of feet it descends until it becomes nothing more than simple fraudulent water. A distortion of a perfect picture upon everything that is anything but whole.
All around my silent form, the heavens cry. Their screams echoing into the night as the darkness closes in and everything is swallowed in its presence. Below me the world carries on, its children naïve to everything around them as I sit perched on the roof of a building. My dark form meshes with the twilight’s omnipresent hold and I sink into its embrace to be forgotten by all, to be unnoticed, to become obscure, to remain silent.
A feat that is anything but unfamiliar. I fear that i have gotten to good at hiding. I fear that someday i won't be able to escape from perch, my watchtower. Then again, what do i truly care for.
The icy breath of the twilight demands acknowledgment, as it covers everything, freezing it to the bone. With hollow eyes i watch as the humans cower and shiver as it's touch passes over them. They brush it off, briefly recognizing the feeling of numbness and continue with their average, humdrum actives. How disgustig, not to recognize its call. Ignoring the meaning that it represents, the very power that it holds.
I however must answer to its call, it chains. Numbness of a different kind, deep, and unfilling penetrates my soulless form and fills every inch of my inanimate skin. It’s familiar yet foreign, disturbing my train of thoughts as it sweeps across me. If I still had a heart I would clutch at it and scream in unison with the falling tears from above.
But as I am dead, I remain silent and give in to all sensation. To truly be frozen, such a delicious sensation.
Silence…my life…my distant lover…it surrounds me and I worship its touch. The hollow wailing of the wind as it sweeps the land clean, the empty weeping noise created by the rain as it bombards the forsaken….my hated….all fall on death ears as I throw my head back. I letting everything become exposed, as I let the simple fraudulent water swallow me. I want it and therefore I am punished. Nothing can me reach me now, not the noise, not the freezing numbness, not even the hopes and foolish desires excreted by the population below. Its suffocating but I endure it as it is nothing more than familiar. In this new world that I have found myself thrust into, I am nothing more than a missing chest piece, a lost figure in the wind.
In the end though….it doesn’t matter. When I was alive….I was still lost…still damned. Nothing has changed….except that life no longer fills me and I now have an eternity to waste on self loathing and hatred. Before my life was simple, created solely on routine and governed by simple concepts. I was alone and back then I hated it. Hated the crushing darkness that night brought, the loneliness. Yet still I pushed through each day, bathing in the suns rays and trying to achieve the simplest of my dreams. I became a writer when I grew older, shedding my child like naivety and gaining the eyes of an adult.
Yet even then I was destined to fail…to remain forgotten. I was always alone and sin followed me life a loyal dog. Numbness began to set in and I allowed it to take over. Allowed him to take over. Yuki….a man unlike anything I had ever seen. An enigma that I quickly became addicted to. I swayed from the path of the sun and followed him into the night, to the line that divides everything. With one simple wish I handed over everything and fought to remain sane as he consumed me.
All I ever wanted was to be noticed…to not be forgotten. I was a fool, an exact copy of the race that I now feast upon. An idiot blinded by all feeling and concept. Yuki saw that and showed me the error of my ways…driving me to deaths door he threw me through it and slammed it shut. Screams…pain…regret….all filled me for one brief second as my soul was torn from me. Casting it aside like a diseased object, Yuki gave me the recognition that I had so craved and threw me to night’s feet with his life claiming kiss. As a servant of something larger, he did his job with precision and stripped me of my ideals, my concepts, and my very warmth. There are worse things than death and Kitazawa Yuki showed me everyone of them.
767898989-007854
Pale moonlight shines down upon the city, as the heavens have ceased their weeping, and the moon materializes to reign supreme in the barren, frozen sky. The bitter atmosphere created by the rain’s departure takes it toll on everything it touches. Forcing one’s lungs to close and restricting the life supporting essence of oxygen from entering the body. With its firm, yet invisible grasp it hinders breathing and brings it to nothing more than short, sharp intakes of air. Just another set of chains unknowing set upon the world, restrictions and limits that are blindly followed and stubbornly ignored. Bliss is ignorance, not realizing the obvious is the closest thing to perfection, and denying everything that doesn't fit into our perfect picture of the world is nothing more than a defence mechainism. With such swallow breathing the humans are infected by the cold, and are unknowingly brought closer to death's heavenly door. With a shadow eclipsing their hearts, they walk blindly in its path. That is, until the sun rise and destroys everything that the dark has placed upon them for one evening. It’s suffocating and I love to watch it every damn night.
With an eternity to waste, I have nothing to do but look down upon the world from my invisible perch. Desire….the longing…. it tries to seep into me as I graze at the streets and remember everything from a dead man eyes. To be condemned to merely watch, to be restricted from reaching out, and grasping something that was once yours, it’s sickening. A burning is created in the hollow cavern of my chest and i spend hours clutching at it like a forlorn lover holding a dying rose.
They say that when you die you have nothing to lose and nothing to gain from the experience. A deadly stalemate. Just another simple concept that humans have foolishly created. To give something a name, to give it a label, a purpose, is too invoke power. By creating such ideals they feed the ever hungry dark and strengthen its hold on creation. By doing this they take darkness into there hearts and let it bury deep within them. Letting it lay dormant till their sins and pain are exposed and then it strikes, ending all thought and existence. Maybe that is what has happened to me, maybe that is the reason for all.
When I was still alive, still part of the glowing sun bathed realm of the living, I longed to be recognized and at the same time….forgotten. Even though that was my one deepest fear, I still wished to be swallowed whole. Because therefore… even if I was forgotten…cast aside…I would still have a purpose. To be one of the forsaken. I have achieved my fear…and I hate every second of it with loving, deep seeded loathing.
"What was it," I ask myself, "that made me the way I am…the way I was."
I was abused, starved from affection and the stupid ugly ideal of love. I was neglected from everything. Left to pick myself up after my world was shattered time and time again. With a smothering consuming fire in my numb heart I faced the world and became an exact copy of everything I hated. Everything I wished to destroy….and I lived in it all. Longing for one touch of something that would fill my dismal world and complete me.
Perhaps that was it….the masks that I put on…the deceptions to everything. Perhaps that was what attracted Yuki to me. You can hide from everything and everyone….but the dark will always know you. To lie to it is something unachievable even by a god’s standards. That was what he taught me of course. What he burned into my mind and craved into my flesh. He taught me to worship the thing that had taken the life from my body. The thing that had banished me from the realm of the normal. He taught me to hate myself even more….and to hate him as well. He taught me to long to be forgotten.
It rained the night I killed him. That is, if you can call it that. When you die nothing remains except an imprint of your formal self. Thoughts, speech, smell….ect. it all becomes marked into your cold skin. A soul is no more and everything seems to stop, time stands still, and never resumes. When I killed the man I had come to love with a hated passion, I released his mind and sent it falling into the darkness to meet his soul. His eyes stared up at me, cold and lifeless, just like the first time he had fallen from grace. No looks of surprise mirrored his face as he knew that I dreamed of nothing more than silencing him. To make my life an undead hell was his mission, and he did it with precision. "Dying is an art form, a means of self release and survival." he whispered to me once. Long before i stopped caring and became numb. How grotesquely correct he was.
09889989898
That’s it for now, a little cliff hanger and a small chapter to hook you even more. So far all I can say is that I love writing this story and will try to update as soon as possible. So please read, review, and enjoy!
Disclaimer. I own nothing but this story and its creativeness
Warnings mature themes, Angst. AU. Vamp. Fic
To Devils-Advocate3 thank you so much! wow that was an awesome review! yes shuichi will have a igger part but not till later. you'll just have to wait and see. wink. anyway thanks so much! for a writer's dream in a reader!
14536598698-
Blood…. crimson red as the brightest wine, drips from my lips and falls slowly down to the crowd below. It mixes with the falling tears of the sky and slowly loses its permanent, staining color. I watch fascinated and disgusted all at the same time as its substance and entity is dissolved in heavens tears. Down, hundreds of feet it descends until it becomes nothing more than simple fraudulent water. A distortion of a perfect picture upon everything that is anything but whole.
All around my silent form, the heavens cry. Their screams echoing into the night as the darkness closes in and everything is swallowed in its presence. Below me the world carries on, its children naïve to everything around them as I sit perched on the roof of a building. My dark form meshes with the twilight’s omnipresent hold and I sink into its embrace to be forgotten by all, to be unnoticed, to become obscure, to remain silent.
A feat that is anything but unfamiliar. I fear that i have gotten to good at hiding. I fear that someday i won't be able to escape from perch, my watchtower. Then again, what do i truly care for.
The icy breath of the twilight demands acknowledgment, as it covers everything, freezing it to the bone. With hollow eyes i watch as the humans cower and shiver as it's touch passes over them. They brush it off, briefly recognizing the feeling of numbness and continue with their average, humdrum actives. How disgustig, not to recognize its call. Ignoring the meaning that it represents, the very power that it holds.
I however must answer to its call, it chains. Numbness of a different kind, deep, and unfilling penetrates my soulless form and fills every inch of my inanimate skin. It’s familiar yet foreign, disturbing my train of thoughts as it sweeps across me. If I still had a heart I would clutch at it and scream in unison with the falling tears from above.
But as I am dead, I remain silent and give in to all sensation. To truly be frozen, such a delicious sensation.
Silence…my life…my distant lover…it surrounds me and I worship its touch. The hollow wailing of the wind as it sweeps the land clean, the empty weeping noise created by the rain as it bombards the forsaken….my hated….all fall on death ears as I throw my head back. I letting everything become exposed, as I let the simple fraudulent water swallow me. I want it and therefore I am punished. Nothing can me reach me now, not the noise, not the freezing numbness, not even the hopes and foolish desires excreted by the population below. Its suffocating but I endure it as it is nothing more than familiar. In this new world that I have found myself thrust into, I am nothing more than a missing chest piece, a lost figure in the wind.
In the end though….it doesn’t matter. When I was alive….I was still lost…still damned. Nothing has changed….except that life no longer fills me and I now have an eternity to waste on self loathing and hatred. Before my life was simple, created solely on routine and governed by simple concepts. I was alone and back then I hated it. Hated the crushing darkness that night brought, the loneliness. Yet still I pushed through each day, bathing in the suns rays and trying to achieve the simplest of my dreams. I became a writer when I grew older, shedding my child like naivety and gaining the eyes of an adult.
Yet even then I was destined to fail…to remain forgotten. I was always alone and sin followed me life a loyal dog. Numbness began to set in and I allowed it to take over. Allowed him to take over. Yuki….a man unlike anything I had ever seen. An enigma that I quickly became addicted to. I swayed from the path of the sun and followed him into the night, to the line that divides everything. With one simple wish I handed over everything and fought to remain sane as he consumed me.
All I ever wanted was to be noticed…to not be forgotten. I was a fool, an exact copy of the race that I now feast upon. An idiot blinded by all feeling and concept. Yuki saw that and showed me the error of my ways…driving me to deaths door he threw me through it and slammed it shut. Screams…pain…regret….all filled me for one brief second as my soul was torn from me. Casting it aside like a diseased object, Yuki gave me the recognition that I had so craved and threw me to night’s feet with his life claiming kiss. As a servant of something larger, he did his job with precision and stripped me of my ideals, my concepts, and my very warmth. There are worse things than death and Kitazawa Yuki showed me everyone of them.
767898989-007854
Pale moonlight shines down upon the city, as the heavens have ceased their weeping, and the moon materializes to reign supreme in the barren, frozen sky. The bitter atmosphere created by the rain’s departure takes it toll on everything it touches. Forcing one’s lungs to close and restricting the life supporting essence of oxygen from entering the body. With its firm, yet invisible grasp it hinders breathing and brings it to nothing more than short, sharp intakes of air. Just another set of chains unknowing set upon the world, restrictions and limits that are blindly followed and stubbornly ignored. Bliss is ignorance, not realizing the obvious is the closest thing to perfection, and denying everything that doesn't fit into our perfect picture of the world is nothing more than a defence mechainism. With such swallow breathing the humans are infected by the cold, and are unknowingly brought closer to death's heavenly door. With a shadow eclipsing their hearts, they walk blindly in its path. That is, until the sun rise and destroys everything that the dark has placed upon them for one evening. It’s suffocating and I love to watch it every damn night.
With an eternity to waste, I have nothing to do but look down upon the world from my invisible perch. Desire….the longing…. it tries to seep into me as I graze at the streets and remember everything from a dead man eyes. To be condemned to merely watch, to be restricted from reaching out, and grasping something that was once yours, it’s sickening. A burning is created in the hollow cavern of my chest and i spend hours clutching at it like a forlorn lover holding a dying rose.
They say that when you die you have nothing to lose and nothing to gain from the experience. A deadly stalemate. Just another simple concept that humans have foolishly created. To give something a name, to give it a label, a purpose, is too invoke power. By creating such ideals they feed the ever hungry dark and strengthen its hold on creation. By doing this they take darkness into there hearts and let it bury deep within them. Letting it lay dormant till their sins and pain are exposed and then it strikes, ending all thought and existence. Maybe that is what has happened to me, maybe that is the reason for all.
When I was still alive, still part of the glowing sun bathed realm of the living, I longed to be recognized and at the same time….forgotten. Even though that was my one deepest fear, I still wished to be swallowed whole. Because therefore… even if I was forgotten…cast aside…I would still have a purpose. To be one of the forsaken. I have achieved my fear…and I hate every second of it with loving, deep seeded loathing.
"What was it," I ask myself, "that made me the way I am…the way I was."
I was abused, starved from affection and the stupid ugly ideal of love. I was neglected from everything. Left to pick myself up after my world was shattered time and time again. With a smothering consuming fire in my numb heart I faced the world and became an exact copy of everything I hated. Everything I wished to destroy….and I lived in it all. Longing for one touch of something that would fill my dismal world and complete me.
Perhaps that was it….the masks that I put on…the deceptions to everything. Perhaps that was what attracted Yuki to me. You can hide from everything and everyone….but the dark will always know you. To lie to it is something unachievable even by a god’s standards. That was what he taught me of course. What he burned into my mind and craved into my flesh. He taught me to worship the thing that had taken the life from my body. The thing that had banished me from the realm of the normal. He taught me to hate myself even more….and to hate him as well. He taught me to long to be forgotten.
It rained the night I killed him. That is, if you can call it that. When you die nothing remains except an imprint of your formal self. Thoughts, speech, smell….ect. it all becomes marked into your cold skin. A soul is no more and everything seems to stop, time stands still, and never resumes. When I killed the man I had come to love with a hated passion, I released his mind and sent it falling into the darkness to meet his soul. His eyes stared up at me, cold and lifeless, just like the first time he had fallen from grace. No looks of surprise mirrored his face as he knew that I dreamed of nothing more than silencing him. To make my life an undead hell was his mission, and he did it with precision. "Dying is an art form, a means of self release and survival." he whispered to me once. Long before i stopped caring and became numb. How grotesquely correct he was.
09889989898
That’s it for now, a little cliff hanger and a small chapter to hook you even more. So far all I can say is that I love writing this story and will try to update as soon as possible. So please read, review, and enjoy!