Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Precious Moments ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

*~*~*

Chapter 5.

Mr. Uesugi threw Shuichi up in the air and caught him again.

"Ugh, big guy. You're getting heavy."

Mr. Uesugi groaned. A trickle of giggles from Shuichi was the answer, as he was put down. Tatsuha came running down the stairs.

"Here ya go, Shu-chan." He handed Shuichi the newest Crash Bandicoot game for playstation.

"Yay, Thank you!" Shuichi exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Tohma Seguchi, who had just come back with Mika just a few hours ago, picked up Shuichi.

"Hey, what you got there man?"

Shuichi smiled up and him.

"Look. It's the Cwash Bandycoot game. Tatsu-chan is givin' it to me to pay at home." He explained intelligently, nodding his head. He brought the game up and put it right in front of Tohma's face, showing him the cover.

"See, this is Cwash. He is such a good fighter. He jumps over bad guys and then shoots them like pow pow." Shuichi made a gun with his fingers as he proceeded to shoot the invisible enemies.

"Oh yeah, wow." Tohma nodded his head and widened his eyes moment from moment a Shuichi explained further the wonder that was "Cwash Bandycoot".

All of a sudden, the front door banged open and Yuki walked in.

"Hey, Yuki. How was..your...day?"

Tohma noticed that Yuki didn't even acknowledge his presence. His eyes were down-cast and his face was a little red. He made it straight for the stairs and went into his room. Another loud bang was heard when he closed his bedroom door. The kids must've noticed his anger for they too had gone quiet.

Shuichi looked at Tohma with widened eyes.

"Did I make Yuki mad again?"

He asked with such innocence that Tohma couldn't help leaning forward and kissing his forehead.

"Of course not, Shu-chan. Yuki probably has a problem he couldn't solve. And you know that he likes you a lot." Tohma reassured the little creature.

A few moments later, Sanjiro walked in. He looked incredibly tired and his shoulders were sagged. He gave a half smile to Tohma, which didn't exactly reach his eyes. He dropped some bags on the floor.

"Yuki forgot these in the car." He said looking down. He then extended his arm and grabbed Shuichi out of Tohma's grasp.

"Come on Shuichi, let's go home."

Tohma's eyes had gone narrow, as he took in Sanjiro's behavior in a scrutinized manner. With a good bye to everyone, Sanjiro turned around and made his way to the car.

Shuichi was hugging his father around the neck and had laid his head on his shoulder. When Sanjiro turned around, he picked up his head and waved to everyone standing in the doorway. Tohma, Tatsuha and Mr. Uesugi smiled at him and waved back.

Mr. Uesugi then turned towards Tohma.

"I didn't like the looks of those two. Why don't you go and find out what happened? If there is one person Yuki will talk to, it's you."

Tohma nodded his head and looked up the stairs. Something was definitely wrong, and he'll be damned if he left Yuki alone to bear it all. It was time to find out what exactly went on today.

*~*~*

Yuki was lying straight on his bed, with his arms folded behind his head, staring straight at the ceiling. His eyes were empty as if not taking in anything at all.

The event that had just taken place kept going over and over in his head like a film reel.

He recalled when he had kissed Sanjiro, how good it had felt. Sanjiro's lips were incredibly soft and they felt heavenly on top of Yuki's. Yuki had sucked and nipped at his lips. When he slid his tongue on his bottom lip, Sanjiro had jerked slightly. Before Yuki could slip his tongue inside, Sanjiro grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away.

Yuki was panting and looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes. Sanjiro wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"What the hell was that Yuki?" he asked disbelievingly. Yuki smiled at him.

"That was a kiss."

"I know what it was." Sanjiro snapped. "What I want to know is, why? Why did you do that?"

The smile disappeared off of Yuki's face and was replaced with a slight frown.

"You want to know why? Because I am in love with you. I can't sleep at night without thinking about you, and even then you haunt my dreams. I can't help myself, I want you so much." Yuki said desperately.

Sanjiro visibly flinched and shook his head sadly.

"No Yuki. It isn't love. You might have a silly little crush on me and that is it. You are not in love with me, you 'can't' be in love with me."

Yuki shook his head vigorously.

"Don't tell me how I feel about you. I know what I feel, and it's not a 'silly little crush'. I have deeply fallen for you."

Yuki brought his hands up and tried to hug him. Sanjiro avoided the embrace and grabbed Yuki by his upper arms. He then shook him slightly as if trying to shake some sense into him.

"Listen to me Yuki. You will have to forget about me. What you want, I can never give you. I am sorry."

Yuki looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"Why? Is it because I am a boy?"

Sanjiro shook his head. He looked straight into Yuki's bright golden eyes.

"No. I am at least that much open-minded. Your gender has nothing to do with it. It's me. I don't have time for this kind of thing in my life. Shuichi and I have adjusted ourselves to the way things are going for us. I don't want to change that. Plus I am not ready for a relationship, right now. And even if I was, it wouldn't have been you. Try to understand me Yuki I have always seen you as a friend, and as a son. Having a relationship with you would feel like I am dating my own son." Sanjiro spoke in a quiet, desperate tone. Yuki cringed visibly.

"You'll find someone, someday who will love you for who you are. And you will love them back just as much, and you'll see how wonderful it is."

Yuki shook his head again.

"There will be no one else for me. Ever. You may not feel that way for me, but you can't stop me from loving you. And that's what I'll just do."

Yuki said defiantly with a hint of sadness in his eyes. He shot out his hand and grabbed his collar. He brought his face down and gave him a hard, bruising kiss. Before Sanjiro could react, Yuki pushed him away and ran towards the door.

So, that was it. His relationship was over, before it even had a chance to start. Yuki jolted out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at his door. Choosing to ignore it, Yuki continued to stare straight ahead. A few seconds later, the door opened slightly and Tohma's head popped in.

"Oh, I thought you were asleep."

Tohma came inside and shut the door behind him.

"Go away." Yuki said, without even looking at him.

Tohma came over to the bed and sat down next to Yuki. he patted his head and threaded his fingers through his golden locks. He combed his hair back with his fingers several times. He had known Yuki's nature by now. When he pushed people away, that means that it was the time he needed them most. He was just too proud to come out and say it. He continued to sit there quietly, waiting for him to give him an opening.

Finally Yuki turned his head and looked at him. Tohma was surprised to find that Yuki's eyes had gone blood-shot.

"What's the matter Yuki?" Tohma asked softly. "Come on little bro, talk to me."

Yuki's aloof behavior had been the calm before the storm. He threw himself at Tohma and buried his head in his lap. He started sobbing helplessly. His whole body shook with the force of his crying frenzy.

Tohma never felt so uselss in his life. Here was his best friend, crying his eyes out and he didn't know what to do or what to say. He let him cry to his heart's content, and when he's ready to talk, he will listen.

When Yuki finally gained enough control over himself, he quieted down. He buried his head in Tohma's chest and related the day's event all to him. Tohma listened to every single word, without interrupting him and nodded his head from time to time.

"..and then he said that I was like a son to him and that he can never do something like that."

Tohma furrowed his brows.

"I am sorry that you had to go through that Yuki. Shindou-san was blunt with you and told you outright how he felt about you. I actually admire the man for his honesty."

Yuki looked incredulously up at him.

"No, no hear me out first." Tohma shook his head. "Any other man would have taken advantage of this situation in a negative way. You are the son of an incredibly successful businessman, they could have manipulated your feelings and slowly, through you, made their way into the company. Maybe even taking over the business."

Yuki shook his head.

"No, I at least have that much sense in me. I know what is right and what is wrong."

Tohma smiled down at him.

"When you're in love Yuki, nothing in the world seems wrong. And when you love the person with your heart and soul, they appear to be flawless in their lover's eyes. They can do no wrong. And you do anything in your power to keep them happy, in any means necessary."

Apprehension was slowly seeping into Yuki's eyes.

"There is another reason I admire Sanjiro for rejecting you." Yuki looked up at him questioningly. Tohma cupped his face in the palm of his hands. "Yuki, you are a beautiful young man. You are incredibly attractive and incredibly innocent. If Shindou-san had accepted your love, how long would it have taken you before you slept with him. Of course, it would be o.k if you both loved each other, but then think about this. If it was any other man, for whom you felt this strongly for but they didn't feel that way about you, they could have used your body to vent out their desire. And you would have allowed them, because it would be o.k. for you. And when they are done with you, they would dump you the day after. What would you have done then?"

Yuki slowly nodded his head in understanding. He was lucky to have such a friend as Tohma, who talked him out of a miserable mood, and presented many sides of an argument. And who soothed his nerves, when he needed him the most. He wrapped his arms around Tohma again and spoke in his chest.

"I don't want to stay here any more Tohma. I don't want to live through the agony of seeing him everyday and knowing that I can't ever have him. Tell Dad I want to go back to New York and finish my studies there."

Tohma hugged him back and rested his head on top of Yuki's golden one.

"O.K Yuki. You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. We'll both leave as soon as our paper work is done."

Tohma spoke in his hair. Yuki lifted his head.

"We?"

"Of course 'we'." Tohma chuckled. "If you think I'm gonna let you go all by yourself, then you have another thing coming mister." He ruffled Yuki's hair.

"Now, let me speak to Uesugi-san and then we'll take it from there."

He got up and went towards the door. He was about to turn the door-knob when he turned around and looked at Yuki.

"How much do you want me to tell him, Yuki?"

Yuki heaved a sigh.

"Tell him whatever you want. Just make sure he consents."

Yuki laid back down heavily as Tohma exited the room.

*~*~*

"Hmm, so that's the whole story." Mr. Uesugi was shaking his head.

"My poor Yuki. So young, and already has his heart broken."

Tohma nodded his head in agreement.

He had told Uesugi everything that had happened, starting from the day Yuki had first met Sanjiro. Uesugi had been incredibly understanding and didn't question his son's choice in partner at all.

"Please Uesugi-san, I beg of you. Don't let Shindou-san know that you've found out anything that happened between him and Yuki." Tohma said in a pleading tone. "I mean you don't want any awkwardness to be between you guys, right?"

Uesugi nodded his head slowly.

"And what about the other thing we discussed?" Tohma asked, as Uesugi heaved a huge sigh.

"Do you think he'll change his mind about this?" he asked and Tohma shook his head.

"You and I both know that it's very unlikely. He is very stubborn."

Uesugi nodded his head again.

"I wish it hadn't come to this. I only wish I could have done something to avoid this whole ordeal."

Tohma gave him a small, sad smile.

"Matters of heart, Sir. Yuki had to learn all of this on his own. Any kind of interference would not have been favorable on both their parts."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. O.k. then, let me just make a few phone calls, and you two will be all set."

Tohma nodded his head and stood up.

"Thank you so much for understanding, Sir."

Uesugi smiled at him, and Tohma exited the room.

*~*~*

3 weeks later.

"I don't want you to go."

Tatsuha was clinging on to Yuki, hugging him tightly around the middle.

"You just got here, and now you have to leave again. That's not fair." Tatsuha's tone was a little wet, as he tried to control his tears.

Yuki hugged his brother close to him, at a loss for words. Tohma gently pried Tatsuha off of Yuki and crouched down on his level.

"Don't worry Tatsu-chan, you'll be able to see Yuki really soon. You can come and visit whenever it's your vacations, with Mika-san."

Tatsuha was sniffling, while nodding his head. Mika herself was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. She hugged Yuki close to her.

"Don't forget about us." She whispered in his ears. Yuki held her close to him, and buried his face in her long, reddish brown hair.

"I am really sorry I have to leave again. But it's better this way."

Mika pulled away and nodded her head solemnly.

They had already checked their bags at the counter and were saying their final goodbyes. Yuki turned towards his father, who enveloped him in a warm embrace.

"If you need anything, do no hesitate to ask. And if you ever need me, you know that I am just a phone call away."

Yuki bit his lower lip and nodded his head. Mr. Uesugi then turned towards Tohma.

"You two better look out for one another. I want both my boys to always prosper in life."

Tohma got a little misty eyed, as Mr. Uesugi enclosed him in a hug, similar to Yuki's.

"Thank you, Sir." Tohma said, pulling away. Mr. Uesugi affectionately patted his head.

"No Son, thank you."

Both Yuki and Tohma stepped back and picked up their carry-on bags. They were about to start heading for their gate when something crashed into Yuki, and clung on to his waist. He looked down and saw a mop of pink hair, and huge violet eyes staring up at him. He dropped his bag and looked up. Sanjiro had shown up, and was standing next to his father.

"Yuki, why are you going?" Shuichi wailed, from his waist. Yuki looked down at him.

'You are one of the reasons I can't be with Sanjiro.' He thought acidly, keeping his facial expressions neutral.

"I don't want you to go. Daddy will never buy me a super-duper ice cream like you did. Pleeeease Yuki." Shuichi nuzzled his face in his stomach.

Yuki looked helplessly at Tohma. Tohma rolled his eyes at him, and bent down. He picked up Shuichi in his arms.

"Hey Shu-chan, I'm leaving too. Don't you want to say goodbye to me?"

Tohma said pouting slightly, saying the words in a sad tone. Shuichi's innocent heart immediately went out to him and he hugged him around the neck.

"Of course Tohma, I'll miss you so much." He cried out in his neck.

"I think we'll all miss you." Sanjiro walked up to Tohma.

"Even though we didn't hang out as much as I would've liked to, I still enjoyed your company very much. Good luck in New York."

Sanjiro shook Tohma's hand. He then glanced at Yuki.

"Come on Shu-chan, let's go say Hi to Tatsu-chan." Tohma said to Shuichi, wanting to give them a little privacy to talk for a bit. "I bet he'll be angry that his best friend didn't say hello to him."

Tohma took Shuichi away, leaving Yuki and Sanjiro alone.

Sanjiro looked at him, whereas, Yuki was looking everywhere but at him.

"I am really very sorry Yuki." he finally said, in a soft broken voice. Yuki looked in his direction and shook his head.

"No Shindou-san, I'm the one who should be sorry. I took my feelings too far and ruined our friendship."

Sanjiro had flinched when Yuki spoke to him so formally.

"Our friendship is not ruined. We can still go back to the way we were." He said quickly.

"No, you and I both know it wouldn't be the same." Yuki said, his own voice cracking. "No matter how hard we try."

Sanjiro looked sadly at him. Yuki held out his hand.

"Thank you for showing me a wonderful time." He said, smiling with a little difficulty. The corners of his lips twitched a bit, as he lifted them up.

Sanjiro took his small hand in his large grasp and held it firmly.

"Thank you, for being a wonderful friend."

The corners of Yuki's eyes got a little wet. Still holding on to his hand, he asked in a small voice.

"Can I at least give you a last hug goodbye."

Sanjiro's eyes misted over as he roughly dragged Yuki by his hand and held him close to his body. Yuki clung on to him tightly, never wanting to let go. Many silent tears spilled out of Yuki's eyes and disappeared in Sanjiro's shirt.

When they pulled apart, Sanjiro gave him a wet smile with shining eyes. He ruffled his hair, and gave a small laugh.

"Don't forget to write."

Yuki nodded, while wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He picked up his bag and was soon joined by Tohma. With a last wistful look at his family and friends, he turned around to leave. Upon reaching the gate to the terminal, he turned for a final look.

His eyes fell on his little brother, who was waving at him madly. He wanted to look at Sanjiro and forever etch his face in his memory, but his eyes fell on the figure standing next to Tatsuha.

Unlike everyone else, who were waving at him shouting goodbyes, Shuichi was just standing their looking incredibly sad, with a few unshed tears clinging at the corner of his eyes. Yuki realized that he hadn't said a goodbye to Shuichi. No matter what insignificant grudge he had with him, it still didn't give him any excuse for his behavior. They had just started to become friends, when everything turned topsy turvey in his life. Plus, it wasn't Shuichi's fault that he wasn't with Sanjiro. Yuki eyes softened as he looked at him, standing there staring back, with a helplessly lost look on his face. Yuki wanted to tear his eyes away and find the bright green ones belonging to Sanjiro, but for some reason, he was unable to. He felt hypnotized bye that violet gaze, and felt rooted to the spot.

He snapped out when Tohma grabbed his upper arm and dragged him through the gate. Yuki shook his head wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He wasn't about to let a child get to him. He quickly followed Tohma to their seats.

As the plane took off, he thought about what he was leaving behind. He thought about his family, and the friends he had made. He was very grateful for Tohma's presence, for if he was alone, he wouldn't have been able to settle himself down. As the plane soared through the clouds towards its destination, Yuki concentrated on what laid ahead of him in the future.

*~*~*

Six Months Later.

"I am really thinking about dropping Liberal Arts and focusing on something solid." Tohma said flipping through the college guide.

Yuki was seated on his study table typing away on his laptop. He was working on a term project for his sociology class.

They were currently staying in a nice 2-bedroom apartment. They had found one near central park, and although the rent was too high, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Mr. Uesugi had deposited a large amount of money to both Yuki and Tohma's accounts so they were able to afford it easily.

Yuki tore his eyes away from the screen and shrugged at Tohma.

"Choose whatever you want."

He went back to his typing.

"Yeah, easy for you to say." Tohma slumped back in his seat. "You already know what you want to do."

Yuki had chosen to go into creative writing. He was a brilliant young man, with a sharp mind. Which was why he had graduated from high school at a young age and was already doing well in his first year of college. Tohma, who had already passed one year of college, was still stuck with Liberal Arts.

Tohma heaved a huge sigh and looked through the manual again. He stopped at one page and scanned the contents quickly.

"Hey, now this is interesting." He spoke, with bright smiling eyes. "I could go into Music and Theatrical Arts. You know I play a little keyboard, maybe I can enhance on that skill." Tohma tapped his chin with his index finger as he spoke thoughtfully.

Yuki nodded his head, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

"Sure, go for it."

"Wouldn't it be cool." Tohma exclaimed excitedly. "You'll be a world famous author, and I'll be a world famous musician." Tohma laughed out loud.

Yuki smiled and shook his head. If only Tohma knew the real reason why he had gone into creative writing. He did want to be a novelist, and write novels which represented the harsh, cold realities of life. He knew at least one person who would definitely read them. Yuki would be content in knowing that even though they aren't together, there will still be some sort of connection between them.

"Oh Yeah. Tohma Seguchi. The heart-throb of millions of fans, making an appearance in your city for one night only."

Tohma was still lost in his fantasy. He kept ranting and laughing his head off at his own jokes. He would have continued on with more quips if the phone hadn't rung at that exact time, interrupting him. Tohma shook his head and went to answer the call.

Yuki went back to typing away his report. He still hadn't contacted Sanjiro, even though he told him he'd write. He felt it was still too soon. Maybe a few more months were needed before Yuki can start maintaining a contact with him.

He was so busy in his musings and his report, that he didn't notice that Tohma had sat back down quietly. He had a wide-eyed expression on his face. All the mirth from earlier had disappeared from his eyes, replaced with intense sadness.

"Yuki." he called out softly.

"Hn." Yuki continued to hit the keys.

"I have something to tell you." Again his tone was very low.

"I'm listening." Yuki replied without tearing his gaze away from the screen.

"Leave the damn laptop. Sit down here and listen to what I have to say."

Yuki turned towards him and raised an eyebrow. Something was seriously wrong for Tohma to use that kind of language and speak in a hard tone.

He abandoned the study table and took a seat right in front of him.

Tohma took a deep breath and looked at Yuki straight in his eyes.

"That was Mr. Uesugi on the phone. I have some bad news Yuki."

Yuki's heartbeat went up a few notch as his thoughts went immediately towards his siblings.

"Tatsuha, Mika. Is everyone o.k.?" He asked frantically.

Tohma nodded his head.

"Yeah. Oh yeah, they're both fine."

"Then what the hell's the matter." Yuki asked, his voice raising a bit high.

"There was an accident Yuki, involving Shuichi and Shindou-san."

Yuki's heart plummeted in his chest. His face paled and his eyes widened slightly. Tohma didn't wait for him to ask any questions.

"Shindou-san's car crashed with an on coming truck. Fortunately he pushed Shuichi out of the way, so he escaped with only a few scratches and bruises. But.." Tohma trailed off, biting his lower lip hard.

Yuki's eyes glassed over.

"But?"

His voice was barely higher than a whisper. He spoke with difficulty, as if his throat had closed up tightly. Tohma swallowed hard before answering.

"Sh...Shindou-san took the whole impact of the crash upon himself. There wasn't any time left for him to get out of the car. He...he didn't survive, Yuki. I'm afraid he's gone. I...I'm really sorry."

A stray tear fell out of Tohma's eyes, as he bit down on his lips to stop himself from sobbing.

'He didn't survive. He's gone.'

Yuki was slumped back in his seat, as blood pounded against his temples. He felt as though a strong gust of wind had just swept past, taking everything that was precious to him away with it. He was looking off into the space, with an empty expression. Not a single tear had fallen from his eyes. Not even a flicker of emotion could be found in their cold, icy depths.

Tohma had expected a strong reaction from Yuki, and had prepared himself for the worst. When Yuki showed no reaction, he got concerned. He got worried that Yuki might be going into a state of shock. He was about to get up and go to Yuki, when he sat up and looked at him.

"When's the funeral?"

Yuki asked in a firm, clear tone of voice. Tohma had to flinch at the lack of emotion that he found in Yuki. His face had hardened, and his eyes had taken a more narrower, more icier look. It looked as though Yuki had just aged by ten years.

"It's..this Sunday."

Tohma said, still gaping at him. Yuki shook his head, and got up. He went over to the table and sat down. He once again resumed his typing.

"Should...should I call to make reservations. We can leave as soon as tomorrow." Tohma asked slowly, as if not expecting how Yuki will react. He was a tiny bit afraid of the new form that Yuki had taken.

"You can go ahead and make reservations for yourself. I will not be going." Yuki answered, with the same cold, hard voice.

"But Yuki, you should at least consider..."

Tohma stopped mid-sentence, as Yuki turned his head sharply in his direction and glared at him.

"I. Am. Not. Going."

He punctuated every word. Tohma nodded his head, looking at him wide-eyed.

"There is nothing left for me there." Yuki turned towards the laptop. "Give everyone my regards." He said in a final tone.

Tohma stood up slowly and went into his room, to start packing. He had decided to leave Yuki alone to deal with it. This was something that he had to bear for himself for now. When the shock wears off, and he's ready to be himself again, Tohma will be there for him. But for now, he left him be.

Yuki was looking onto the screen as he typed away. The words, not making any sense as the hit the keys, were jumbling in front of his vision. All the moments that he had spent with Sanjiro, were going through his head one by one. He was storing them away deep within his memories where they wouldn't constantly haunt him.

For a moment, a pair of wide, violet eyes flashed through the screen of his mind, but the next moment, they too had disappeared. Buried deep within, along with the rest of his precious memories.

TBC.