Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sometimes Life Can ❯ Chapter 1

Title: Sometimes Life Can
Author: Water Sprite
Disclaimer: Do I really even need to go through this? We all know that if I owned Gravitation… the characters would be even more screwed up than Murakami could have ever imagined -_-V…
Rating: PG-13 and perhaps I’ll try for more in later chapters… I’m still not sure (<- I always say this ^_^V)

~*~

"D**n it, d**n it, d**n it!" Eiri seethed under his breath. After everything, after all of it was over, the kid couldn't take anymore. He thought that he had finally found someone who would love him in spite of it all. Someone who wouldn't care. It seemed like he'd found that in Shuichi. The brat seemed almost indestructible-- almost.

"I'm such a f**king fool!" he slammed his fist on the floor where he had collapsed when Shuichi closed the door behind himself. He had explained all of his reasoning with an almost eerie calm about him.


"Eiri, I just can't take this anymore. I know what I said, but the truth is-- it's eating me up inside, Eiri, eating me up," Shuichi looked to Eiri's eyes hoping to see a little understanding, all he got was pure confusion.

"What?" was the whispered reply.

"Yuki, I'm leaving you," slow tears began to slip from his eyes as Yuki's grew in shock. "These ups and downs they're going to kill me, and more importantly, they might hurt you. Not only that but there is everyone else, I can't leave them hanging every time you boot me in the head. This can't be healthy for you, Eiri. I think that it would be best if we just both go our separate ways." Shuichi sniffled and turned his head so that he was, instead, looking at the ground. He was trying his best to be strong, anyone could see that, it just wasn't working out the way that he had hoped.

Shuichi looked back up into the stunned and perplexed eyes giving him a sad smile, "Good-bye, Yuki. Please be happy." And just like that, he was gone-- the door shut calmly behind him. It felt like hours crawled by and Yuki just stood there waiting for the door to open and the brat to come crawling back, wailing about how he just couldn't do it. How he couldn't live his life without Yuki-- it just wasn't possible! It never happened.

Shocked and mortally wounded, Eiri fell to the floor in disbelief. Unbeknownst to him were the tears silently streaming down his own face.


Still he sat there, no longer stunned by the blow, but cursing everything: himself, his past, careers, himself. He found he just couldn't blame Shuichi at all. He had given all he could and still it had not been enough to change Eiri Yuki completely; it had, though, be enough to rouse something that had been buried deep within him. Yet, considering the circumstances, whatever might have been "roused" by Shuichi's love and understanding was threatening to go back into hiding and never come forth again. It might have happened that way too, if Tohma had not flung the door open looking around frantically.

Seeing Eiri on the floor he instantly dropped to his knees, taking the author's face into his gloved hands and locking eyes with him, "Are you okay?"

Yuki blinked a couple of times before nodding, "Did you just run from your car and throw my door open? You look a little," he paused here, searching for the word to use. Unfortunately the only word the best selling author could come up with didn't seem to fit Tohma at all. "Frenzied?"

Tohma's eyes widened for a moment, but only a moment. After that he proceeded to drop his hands from their place on Eiri's cheeks and the shock on his own face melted away to his well rehearsed smile, "I don't know what makes you think I ran from my car, but, yes, yes I did."

"You were panting when you came in," Yuki said running a hand through his hair. He shot a suspicious glance towards Tohma, "What are you doing here, Seguchi?"

Tohma sighed, "Always so formal. I only came to make sure you were alright. Speaking of which, you never answered my question, are you okay?"

Eiri waved the question away as he began to get to his unsteady feet, "I'm fine. Why the h**l would you think otherwise?" He was shaking and the only way to stop himself was-- nicotine! He started to pat himself down for the pack he always carried on his person. He almost heaved a sigh of relief when he finally located them. Reaching into his pocket he withdrew a silver Zippo, something that he'd had for quite some time. In all the years that he had owned it, not once had he ever had any difficulty lighting anything. There is a first for everything. He was shaking so horribly that he couldn't get the cigarette to hold still long enough to light, or perhaps it was that the lighter was bouncing too rapidly for the cigarette to actually catch the flame, or mayhap it was both. Whatever it was it wasn't getting him his nicotine fast enough. In pure frustration he threw the lighter down and ran an agitated hand through his mussed hair chanting curses under his breath.

Tohma, who had risen when Eiri had, bent down to retrieve the discarded lighter. He flipped the lid back and lit it bringing the flame to the still quivering cigarette, a worried look on his normally smiling features. "Let's just say I have a sixth-sense about this sort of thing. Now, what happened?"

Eiri took a long draw off the cigarette before looking at Tohma fully. He looked hastily thrown together, his hat was off kilter, the collar of his coat was half-way tucked under itself, and his hair was a mess. It looked as though he had jumped out of bed, thrown his coat on and drove over. Eiri's mind almost wondered if Tohma took his coat off if he would be have his pajamas on. It was relatively early in the morning.

"Fine, if I tell you what happened you tell me why the h**l you're hurling my door open and six in the f**king morning."

Tohma hesitated, "Is that the only way I'm going to find out what is causing you so much distress?" Eiri gave a curt nod, "Fine, you first then."

Eiri grunted his acknowledgement of Tohma's statement and looked pointedly to the couch, motioning for him to take a seat, as he did so himself-- right after grabbing an ashtray, of course.

Flicking his long ash into the tiny ashtray Eiri began, "There's not really much to tell. He left me. Nothing more, nothing less." He had trailed off by the last of the sentence, not able to think of that morning's events without becoming short of breath.

Tohma's brows knitted together in worry for the vexed author. There were deep wounds that he had carried with him that had come so close to healing completely with the help of Shuichi, but one can only take so much of another's pain before being drawn down by it themselves. "There's more to it than that."

Yuki's eyes snapped up from their place on the presently dormant television set, "What do you mean? That's it, what else would there be?"

"You would have gone after him if it were that simple," Tohma pointed out quietly. Eiri merely grunted, "So what really happened?"

A sigh escaped Eiri's lips and he rubbed his temples to relieve the pain that had been welling up there since that morning. "He told me that he was doing it for my sake, for my health, for the good of the others that count on him. He said that the ups and downs were going to kill him." He laughed bitterly, "Who the h**l could blame him for that?"

"No one, but still, it was rather sudden, and quite unlike Shindo-san," Tohma mused, mostly to himself.

"He was thinking about it for days before." Yuki was now becoming vulnerable and to cover it up he turned the tables, "So, your turn, why the h**l did you show up at my door like that?"

Tohma looked hurt, "You mean you didn't want to see me? Oh, I get it, you're being cold again."

"That's not what I meant," Eiri ran his hand over his face in a futile attempt to wipe away the entire day.

"I know," Tohma chirped. "Well to tell you the truth, I--" Tohma was interrupted by a rather loud rumbling that came from the other side of the couch. He looked over at Eiri curiously, "When was the last time you ate, Eiri-kun?"

Eiri paused for a split second, "I dunno, I had a deadline to meet last night, normally the brat would make me eat in the middle but I suppose--" He stopped there, remembering that Shuichi was most likely too busy trying to sort things out in his own head last night.

Tohma rose, "Well then, time to get cooking!" And just like that, Tohma left the room.

Eiri stared at the man, Tohma knew his house as though it were his own, so why? "Hey, Seguchi! Where the h**l are you going? The kitchen's this wa--" Tohma emerged from the hallway holding a black cordless phone to his ear as he silenced Yuki by holding one finger up.

"Hm, yes, and two of those would be wonderful, thank you. And how long did you say that would take? Ah, very good. Cash, thank you again." Tohma put the phone down and sat back on the couch, "Cooking wares me out, how about you Eiri-kun?" Tohma gave a quick wink.

A small smile made its way to Yuki's mouth as he wondered at the man next to him. "Yeah, completely."

Tohma put a finger to his bottom lip in thought, "Now, where were we?" His eyes lit up, "Oh yes! About this morning." Tohma stopped and looked at Yuki foolishly, "Do you really want to hear this? I mean it's nothing really, just--"

Yuki gave him a silencing look, one brow arched dubiously, "Spill it, Seguchi."

Sighing, Tohma continued, "Okay, okay, don't eat me." Yuki gave a questioning look, Tohma waved it away, "You always look so angry that I mentally give you fangs, and I'm quite sure that you could eat small fluffy kittens with them with a side order of rusty nails."

"You're veering off the subject again, Seguchi," Eiri stated flatly.

"Oh, well then, I shall go on," he paused. "Uh, the question was-- Ah yes! Why did I barge into your house at, as you put it, 'six in the f**king morning.' Well, I--uh, wanted to borrow a cup of sugar?" Yuki glowered at the sad excuse for an answer, shaking his head, Tohma sighed, "Fine then, I've been keeping tabs on this house, as you might have expected. I was actually thinking of taking off the surveillance team in about a week or so, I'm glad I didn't go with taking them off the week before-- I had been considering it, but, well, you know."

"So you were having us watched? Incase of what exactly?"

"Oh, you know," Tohma looked straight at Eiri, cocking a brow, "exactly what happened this morning."

"You really have no faith in me what so ever, do you?"

"It's not that I don't have faith in you, it's more, I don't trust those around you." Tohma smiled, "You know I'd kill for you."

Eiri stiffened, "You're not going to hurt Shuichi, are you?"

Tohma looked surprised, "You would rather I didn't?"

"Don't touch him," Eiri said deathly serious.

"Good, that eliminates the loss to the company." Tohma put his feet up and laid back into the couch, getting thoroughly comfortable. Eiri looked on as Tohma situated himself, understanding that Tohma would never do anything against his wishes.

And suddenly, Eiri was lost to his own musings, as he remembered what had originally drawn him to this man. He was not thinking of the first time he had met him, rather the first time he remembered feeling something besides friendship towards the older man. True, Tohma did not feel the same way, but Eiri, had, at times, wished it differently. It was quite ironic, the only one who he had-- before Shindo-- wished felt any sort of desire towards him was the only one who was quite inclined to feel more of a motherly love for him. It had irked him at first, he eventually learned to live with it, though. If there was one thing he didn't want to do, it was to push Tohma away.

"Yoo-hoo! Earth to Eiri-san!" Eiri snapped from his memories to find Tohma waving a hand in front of his face. "I know your world has just been turned upside-down, but I'm pretty sure that brooding will do you no good." Receiving a grunt in response to his calls, Tohma was about to continue his reprimand in answer to the unintelligible noise but there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, the food!" And just like that, Tohma popped up and walked to the door. After a quick exchange, Tohma padded softly towards the couch again, where Eiri had lain back and looked to be in his own little world of thought-- once again. Sighing, Tohma put the food on the table in front of the couch and flopped down on the cushion next to the man who was presently "off in space."

Eiri stared at the window, even though the blinds were drawn, and pondered what could be done with his life–bungled as it was. The sudden appearance of food directly beneath his nose snapped him from his gloomy thoughts. His eyes drifted shut as the scent from the food reawakened his stomach. Abandoning all coherent-- anything, Eiri grabbed the food and began to shovel it into his mouth with such vigor Tohma took a moment to chuckle a bit before starting into his own dish.

It was five minutes before Eiri found that he was able to speak, and with a bit of sustenance, he was able to really see what was around him-- mostly the fact that Tohma still had his coat on. "Seguchi?"

Tohma looked up, innocently from his food, "Yes?"

"Why the h**l are you still wearing that thing? Your coat I mean, it's plenty warm in here, take it off." Tohma blushed a bit and shook his head proceeding to bite into his breakfast so that he would be saved from answering any questions. Yuki was not about to allow that, "Seguchi," came out in a low warning tone.

"Really, I'm fine, thank you for worrying though," his eyes jumped open in surprise and he clasped an hand over his mouth, realizing there was still food in there–really, sometimes he just became too comfortable around Eiri-kun.

"Try not to talk with food in your mouth, and, more importantly–I’m not worrying," Yuki muttered, more to himself than to Tohma.

"Of course not," though, it came out with a certain amount of laughter in it, it was actually meant to be a comforting response.

"I'm not, it's just annoying that's all. Get rid of it," Yuki put his clean plate down and lit a cigarette, all the while managing to glare at Tohma.

Rubbing his temples, Tohma sighed, "I can't really get anywhere with you can I?" Yuki shook his head. "I didn't think so. Remember, you brought this upon yourself," Tohma pointed an accusatory finger Eiri's way.

"Yeah, whatever, just take it off."

And Tohma did.

"I knew it," Eiri said, shaking his head.

"Oh really? And how, pray tell, did you know?" Tohma asked, attempting to look serious in his striped P.J.'s and failing miserably.

"Just a feeling I guess," a shrug of the shoulders to answer.

Tohma laughed, "Some people get 'feelings' when someone close to them is in trouble, some when a storm is coming, but you, Eiri-kun, you get a 'feeling' when someone is wearing a set of pajamas?"

Yuki glared and waved it away, "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I think I do. I guess I did look a tad bit disheveled when I came in here," another smile and an adorable shrugging of the shoulders with his hands folded neatly between his knees.

"Yeah, just a little." Yuki rolled his eyes and motioned towards Tohma's plate, "Eat."

An eyebrow cocked, "What? No further berating? Very unlike you, Eiri-kun."

A pregnant pause, "Not always," came a nearly inaudible whisper.

Shocked but never one to show it, Tohma looked over to Eiri, "True, very true." Seguchi reached out and took Yuki's hand in his own, tugging on it until Eiri let his head rest in Tohma's lap. He ran his hands through the blonde hair, taking it gently away from his face as he whispered soothing words.

It was to these sensations that Yuki was able to fall asleep.

~*~

A/N: Chapter one... should I continue? I think I might! It may not be very good, but it does have a few select points in it that I can build off of. Please review… I need my motivation!!!! And it comes from those who review!!!!!! PWEEEEEESE!!!! Free hugs to everyone that does! ^_~… Whether you want one or not… heh-heh-heh… 0.o?