Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

“Sorry”

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shuichi/Ryuichi, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, Shuichi/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Shuichi lashes out.

Warning: Language

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

 

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Chapter 9

 

(Crowne Plaza Hotel - Midnight)

 

A shaft of light spilled into the suite, illuminating the beige carpet and two pairs of shoes sitting along the wall next to the door, a pair of sneakers with socks stuffed inside them and brown leather sandals that seemed to dwarf their companions. The room seemed unnaturally silent. A lamp in the far corner was on. It cast a soft glow and elongated the shadows in the room, giving it an ambiance and a slightly creepy feeling all at the same time.

 

Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he searched the hallway and seeing it deserted, stepped into the suite and closed the door behind him, automatically locking it, more out of habit than anything. The room was thrown into dim twilight with the absence of the bright hallway light. He was not sure why, but he felt like an intruder, as if he should be here which was ridiculous, because he had every right to be here. Shuichi was his husband after all.

 

As his eyes grew accustomed to the gloomy lighting, Ryuichi gazed about the suite, taking in the modern contemporary furniture. For what it was, it was all right. Just all right. It was not décor he would have chosen voluntarily. It was more of a style his grandmother would like.

 

His eyes continued on.

 

Blackout curtains and the vertical blinds were drawn back and a cool breeze whispered through the open balcony doors, rustling the sheer curtains. He could see the clear night sky and the pale moon. It was a beautiful night.

 

As he continued to gaze about the room, his eyes were drawn to the coffee table. It was Shuichi's laptop computer, the one he had given to him for his birthday. The little green light was on, indicating that it was on, but the screen was dark. Shuichi must have been using it earlier and forgot to turn it off. For a split second, he felt the icy grip of panic, but brushed it aside with a laugh. But the uneasy feeling did not vanish completely, especially when his eyes traveled to the half filled ashtray and the empty cigarette wrapper besides the laptop. “Yuki,” he growled, deliberately leaving off any honorific.

 

“Sakuma.”

 

Startled, Ryuichi spun around and saw the bane of his existence. Just the sight of this man nearly sent Ryuichi into a rage. “You!” he spit.

 

With a cocky grin, Eiri dropped his arms and pushed away from the doorframe. Stepping into the light, he shut the bedroom door quietly behind him.

 

Ryuichi was able to catch a quick glance over Yuki's broad, naked shoulder of movement behind him in the shadow hidden room. Shuichi. He turned back to the blond haired romance writer and met his smiling, golden hazel eyes and that damn cocky grin. If that bastard so much as touched a hair on Shuichi's head…!

 

Eiri smirked as he watched the flicker of emotions flash across the older singer's face.

 

“Bastard!” Ryuichi hissed.

 

Eiri's expression changed in an instant. “You have some nerve showing your face here,” he told the singer in an even voice.

 

Sneering in disgust, Ryuichi squeezed his clenched hands and gritted his teeth so tightly; his jaw was beginning to ache. “Look who's talking!” he barked.

 

“I think you ought to leave.” It would keep him from beating the crap out of him for hurting Shuichi. He just wanted Sakuma here so he could toss the fact that he had won in the man's face.

 

Ryuichi could not believe what he just heard. This man had a lot of nerve. “I think it's you who should leave,” he shot back.

 

“I can't do that,” Eiri replied with a sly smirk.

 

“He's my husband!” Ryuichi cried angrily.

 

“Was you mean,” Eiri corrected calmly.

 

Ryuichi's heart gave a painful lurch. “What are talking about?” he demanded, a little breathless.

 

“I told you,” Eiri shrugged nonchalant. “You had your chance and you blew it. Now, it's my turn.”

 

Ryuichi growled. “Drop dead! Shu's mine!”

 

“Not anymore he's not.”

 

“What did you say?” Ryuichi hissed.

 

Eiri tipped his head towards the coffee table and the laptop. “They saw a picture is worth a thousand words.”

 

Confused, Ryuichi glanced down at the black notebook, then back at Yuki. He tried to ignore the sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Go ahead,” Eiri said with a wave.

 

Gulping, Ryuichi reached out and pressed the spacebar on the keyboard with a heavy feeling of dread. He waited as the computer slowly woke up. His stomach twisted as he watched the expression on Yuki's face. His heart pounding and sweating profusely, Ryuichi reluctantly glanced at the computer screen. What he saw stopped his heart cold. The color drained from his face. Lightheaded, the room swam dizzily around him.

 

“How?” he breathed. This did not make any sense! Ryuichi's legs gave out underneath him and he collapsed onto the armchair behind him. He brought a trembling hand to his face. This was not happening!

 

“I heard he threw quiet a temper tantrum when he saw this picture yesterday,” Eiri said smugly.

 

Ryuichi snapped out of his daze and turned his head sharply to glare at Yuki in hatred. “You!”

 

“Wasn't me,” Eiri denied, shaking his head.

 

“Liar!”

 

Eiri shrugged. “Believe what you will, Sakuma. But unfortunately I had nothing to do with that e-mail.” Though he would love to take credit. “Though,” he continued, “I can think of several people who could have.” He did not bother to mention that one of those “several people” could be none other then Shuichi himself.

 

Ryuichi said nothing, just seethed in quiet fury.

 

“Seguchi maybe,” Eiri continued. Though he highly doubted his brother-in-law was behind this, but he would not put it past him. “Or, maybe, hmmm…my brother perhaps?” he suggested cruelly.

 

Ryuichi instantly jumped to his feet. “Wha?! He wouldn't!” Who the hell did this guy think he was?

 

Oo! If looks could kill…Eiri smirked. He could not remember having such fun in his entire life. “Really.”

 

“Leave Tatsuha out of this!”

 

“I can't do that,” Eiri said cockily. Where would the fun be in that?

 

Ryuichi hissed, his face an angry red.

 

Eiri's grin widened. “He's part of this.”

 

“Tatsuha has nothing to do with this!”

 

Now he was getting annoyed. “Tatsuha has everything to do with this!” Eiri snapped. How stupid could one person be? This is probably what got Sakuma into this mess in the first place.

 

Tears stun Ryuichi's eyes. As much as he tried to deny it, there was a part of him that was starting to believe Yuki's accusation. Just thinking that Tat-kun would do this to him, would betray him like this was almost too much to bear. It sent a shooting pain through his heart. Maybe he had known. That could be the reason why he had not picked up the phone when Tatsuha called before he left. No! Ryuichi shook away those devilish thoughts. What was he thinking? Tatsuha would not do this. He wouldn't! “He loves me! He'd never…!” Ryuichi's protest dwindled into tears. “He's never…!”

 

Eiri watched his rival sadly. He almost felt sorry for him. “How can you be so sure?” he asked softly. “If Shu saw pictures of you and my brother together, concrete proof that you're cheating on him he'd dump you so fast you wouldn't know your ass from a hole in the ground and my stupid brother would have you all to yourself.” It was the only logical solution. It was not rocket science. If it were true, anyway. He was not so sure this was what happened, though. He was also not sure if he believed it or if he was just saying it to be mean.

 

Lies! Lies! Ryuichi shook his head. He was not listening! It was all lies! They could make it work. It was easy. First, he would apologize. Then Shuichi would forgive him and finally, the two of them would spend the rest of their lives living happily ever after. It was simple.

 

Besides, Tatsuha and he had talked about this and Tatsuha understood. He knew that their relationship had nothing to do with his marriage to Shuichi. As much as he loved his husband, he also cared a great deal for Tatsuha. To him, the young monk was much more than a fling or a lover. He would never be second to Shuichi. Never. Tatsuha knew this and he would never do something so low and underhanded.

 

“Tatsuha loves me!” Ryuichi shouted more to himself than anything.

 

Eiri leaned against the back of the couch. “You say my brother loves you.”

 

“He does!”

 

“And that's precisely why he would do something like this.”

 

Ryuichi shook his head vigorously. “He wouldn't!” he protested. It sounded weak even to him.

 

Eiri knew from experience that a lover never wanted to be just a lover. They wanted more. They wanted to be more. And knowing Tatsuha like he did, he knew his younger brother would never be completely happy playing second string and no matter what Sakuma may say or think, to Tatsuha, Shuichi was a threat which gave his brother ample motive to e-mail Shuichi those incrementing photographs.

 

“He wouldn't.” This time it was barely a whisper.

 

“…Why? You know as well as I do that Tatsuha-“

 

Ryuichi sliced his hand through the air. “No!” he cried, tears pouring down his face. “Tatsuha would never…! He'd…”

 

“Why not?”

 

Ryuichi could only shake his head in continued denial. He felt numb. His stomach was doing summersaults. His head hurt and his heart ached. All he wanted was to get as far away from Yuki as he could. He did not like any of this.

 

“You're not even his only lover, you know that right? He usually has about half a dozen at one time and he tells all of them that he loves them. That's how he's able to get them into bed.” It was the plain truth. His brother was truly something else.

 

Ryuichi covered his ears, screwed his eyes shut and pursed his lips together.

 

“You're the Sakuma Ryuichi after all. I don't think I need to say anything more than that.”

 

“You're wrong.”

 

Eiri sighed. “Look. Trust me. I've had my share of lovers with their two heads. One on their heads and the other in my wallet. And my brother has been your biggest fan for as far back as I can remember. You can't tell me that that has not crossed your mind, Sakuma. A sixteen year old having a sexual relationship with a thirty-something year old? Come on.”

 

Ryuichi growled in frustration “Shut up!”

 

“I bet he doesn't even give two fucks about you otherwise.”

 

“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! You don't know a goddamn thing!”

 

“Then explain it to me!” Eiri snapped angrily.

 

“You wouldn't understand!”

 

“Then make me understand!”

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Eiri growled in frustration. “Dammit, Sakuma! If my brother loves you like you claim then he must have sent Shuichi those photos!”

 

“Never!”

 

“And why the hell not?”

 

“Because he would never do this to me! To us!” Ryuichi refused to believe otherwise.

 

This was beginning to become very tedious. “Again. I ask,” Eiri asked in as calm and even a tone as he could manage, “why not? Tatsuha is exactly like I was at his age and if I were him, I would do anything to make sure-”

 

“He wouldn't! He's nothing like you!”

 

“Oh?” That was news to him. “Why?”

 

Ryuichi snapped. “Because I love him!”

 

Eiri blinked in surprise, shocked speechless at the unexpected confession.

 

“I've always loved him!” Ryuichi sobbed, his voice thick with tears. “No matter what happens with Shu and me, nothing'll change between Tatsuha and me!”

 

Too late, he realized he had said way too much.

 

Ryuichi went still, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of a car as a muffled sound echoed in the silence of the suite.

 

Eiri glanced over his shoulder. His face dropped, going neutral instantly. Feeling like a child who just got caught doing something he should not, Eiri scrambled off the sofa.

 

Ryuichi's heart started thumping. His breathing was heavy and labored. Ever so slowly, he turned his head towards the sound. His face went white as his worst fears were confirmed. Standing nearly naked in the doorway from which Yuki had come from was Shuichi.

 

His husband's hair was mused and sticking on end. The left side of his face was red and creased. Those large, violet eyes were red rimmed and blood shot. His face pale, his cheeks flushed. A lone tear rolled slowly down his cheek, but the expression on his face was anything but sad. It was a mixture of hurt, anger and betrayal. Ryuichi felt a pain in his heart and a wrenching in his gut. It took everything he had to keep from tearing his gaze away from his husband's penetrating one.

 

“Shuichi,” he breathed, taking a step forward. He reached out towards him, silently thinking, Please take my hand. Please, as tears flowed freely down his face.

 

Eiri stepped back from the lovers, intending to say the hell out of Dodge.

 

Shuichi backed away from Ryuichi, a hand raised to ward off the man, and shook his head.

 

A look of hurt crossed Ryuichi's face. He dropped his hand. “Shu, please,” he pleaded.

 

“I don't wanna hear it,” Shuichi said, his voice trembling.

 

“Please! Shuichi. Just let me-!”

 

“No!”

 

“I know what I did was-“

 

“Fuck you,” Shuichi spit, his voice becoming stronger.

 

Ryuichi was startled. Never once had Shuichi spoken to him like this. “Just give me a chance to explain!”

 

Shuichi shook his head vehemently. “I've heard it all before, Ryu.”

 

“But-!”

 

“No!” Shuichi stepped out of the bedroom towards his “husband”. His voice was not the only thing that was becoming stronger.

 

“Please, Shu! I-I never…I never meant to hurt you!” he sobbed.

 

Shuichi clenched his hands into fists, his nails digging half moon trenches into his palm. “Bullshit,” he growled lightly through gritted teeth.

 

“Shu!”

 

“Ryu.”

 

“I love you,” Ryuichi whispered.

 

Eiri snorted.

 

Shuichi barked a sharp laugh.

 

Tears flowed after down Ryuichi's face. A wash of emotions flowed through him, almost as if a dam had cracked inside of him. “I'm so sorry, Shuichi!”

 

That stopped Shuichi cold. “Sorry?”

 

All Eiri could think was, “Uh, oh.” Wrong move Sakuma.

 

“I never meant for this to happen! I swear to God! Please, just…Just give me another chance and, and-!”

 

[“Please, Shuichi. Let me explain! … I am so sorry, Shuichi. I never meant to hurt you you have to believe me! … God, Shuichi! I'm sorry! It won't happen again. I swear to God! I never meant to hurt you! Never! …” ]

 

Shuichi was living a sense of déjà vu. They had had almost this exact conversation six months ago. He could not believe what a fool he had been.

 

Eiri watched in slow motion as Shuichi stalked towards Ryuichi, his hand rising. He winced, cringing as time returned to its normal pace just as Shuichi's hand met Ryuichi's cheek in a little love tap.

 

Ryuichi stared blankly at nothing in stunned disbelief. Ryuichi brought a hand up to his face. Tentatively, he touched it. He winced, hissing.

 

Shuichi, infuriated, ignored his stinging, throbbing, reddened hand. He could not believe this man! Who did he think he was? “Another chance”? Who was he kidding? Did Ryuichi think he was an idiot? He had been willing to give Ryuichi the benefit of the doubt once before. He had gone against his own better judgment and ignored his friend's and family's advice and taken him back, given him a second chance all because he had wanted to believe in him.

 

“-out!”

 

Ryuichi blinked, turning towards Shuichi. “Shu?”

 

“Get. Out,” Shuichi repeated.

 

Ryuichi stared at Shuichi incredulity. “Shu.”

 

“Get out!” Shuichi shouted angrily.

 

“Shu, I'm sorry!”

 

Shuichi had had enough. The sight of this man was making his stomach queasy. He stalked towards Ryuichi with an air of loathing surrounding him.

 

Ryuichi's eyes flashed and he jumped backwards. In his blind haste, Ryuichi tripped over his own two feet and with a cry, flew backwards, tumbling over the armchair and landing in a painful heap on the floor with a sharp hiss. Awkwardly, he scrambled to his feet and started to back away unconsciously as Shuichi advanced towards him. “Shuichi,” he tried again. He had to get Shuichi to listen to him!

 

Shuichi did not want to hear anything this man had to say.

 

Ryuichi's throat knotted. “Shu,” he croaked. This was not at all going how he imagined. “Please!”

 

“I can't take it anymore, Ryu,” he said in a tight voice. He cleared his throat. He could not appear weak in front of this man. He had to be strong. He could not give in.

 

“Shu-“

 

Shuichi chopped his hand through the air. “Save your words because you've gone too far this time!”

 

“I know, just-!”

 

“I listened to your lies and all your stories!”

 

“But if you'd just-!”

 

“You're not half the man you'd like to be!”

 

Eiri grabbed the doorknob. He twisted it and flung open the door, watching in gleeful excitement as his Shuichi pushed a devastated looking Sakuma Ryuichi out of the room.

 

Shuichi was momentarily blindsided by the sudden burst of light, but took it in stride and continued to push the enemy line back.

 

Ryuichi tried once more as he stepped out in the hall. “Shu, If you'd just let me-!”

 

“Don't explain yourself `cause talk is cheap!”

 

Shuichi chased Ryuichi out into the hall where the older man tripped and collapsed into a heap in the middle of the carpeted hallway.

 

*

 

Across the hall, Daisuke glanced up from his laptop, a frown on his face.

 

“You stupid jerk!”

 

Daisuke turned towards the door. That sounded like Shuichi.

 

“Shu, please!”

 

And that sounded like…Ryuichi?

 

“If you'd only let me explain!”

 

“'Explain'? There's nothing to explain!”

 

He had never heard Shuichi so pissed before. He was always so happy and carefree and hearing him shouting like this…? He suddenly had a very bad feeling. Oh, no. Sliding off his glasses, he pushed away from the table and crossed the room to the door. He turned the lock, hearing the tumblers shift and slid back the chain. Cracking the door open, he stuck his head out. The scene before him had him taken aback. An enraged Shuichi dressed in nothing more than a button down shirt that looked as if it would fit five Shuichi's was bending over and glaring down at a cowering, distraught Ryuichi.

 

“You stayed because I made it so convenient!” he heard Shuichi bellow, his voice thick and his eyes glistening with tears.

 

Daisuke glanced at Shuichi in shock.

 

“…What? Shu! …How could…? Why would you…?” Ryuichi's tongue felt like it had swelled up and his brain had gone dumb. He just could not make anything work. He was at a loss. Did Shuichi really believe that? “How can you say something like that? I love you! I would never-!”

 

“Don't try to explain yourself! You'll never see-!” Shuichi snapped, sobbing.

 

Ryuichi was stunned beyond words. He could not believe that this was his Shuichi. Did he truly believe all this? No! It could not be. His Shuichi would never doubt him. Anger flashed through his eyes. “You!”

 

Daisuke followed Ryuichi's extended finger. His eyebrows vanished into his hairline. Leaning against the door to Shuichi's room was Yuki Eiri, dressed in only a pair of jeans that were hanging suspiciously low on his hips and a sly smirk on his face. Now he was doubly confused. What the hell was he doing here? What did he have to do with anything?

 

Eiri raised an eyebrow, an innocent expression on his face.

 

Shuichi's foot lashed out and connected with Ryuichi. The man cried out, his face screwed up in pain. Daisuke winced.

 

“Leave Yuki out of this! This has nothing to do with him!”

 

Daisuke looked from Yuki and Shuichi and had his doubts.

 

Ryuichi staggered to his feet, an angry scowl on his face. “Nothing to do with him? This has just as much to do with Yuki as it does Tatsuha!”

 

Daisuke groaned, feeling suddenly sick. Just as he thought. This was all his fault.

 

“Excuse me? Don't you dare compare me to you! I'm not the one having an affair with a sixteen year old!”

 

“Oh, Shu,” Daisuke whispered with a heavy heart.

 

“I'm not the one who looked right into my eyes,” Shuichi sobbed, “ and lied to me! No, I'm the one who just wasted the last year of his life! I'm the one who's been mocked and laughed at and made the butt of a very fucked up joke!”

 

Ryuichi gasped. He stared at Shuichi in horror. “Shu, no!”

 

“I gave you everything I was! I trusted you! I loved you and you lied to me! You used me!”

 

“I'd never-!”

 

“It's the same shit, Ryu! Each and every fucking time and I've had it! It's over! I'm through playing games with you! And I threw my ring away so that makes us even!”

 

Ryuichi's heart went cold. “What?” he breathed.

 

Shuichi held up his ringless hand and wiggled his fingers, a mocking expression on his face.

 

He did! He really did get rid of it! Up to that point, he had harbored some hope, a tiny flicker that by some miracle, Shuichi would welcome him back with open arms. But that ember was gone, blown out by the cold, gusty words of a man who had been pushed too far.

 

“Shu,” he whispered. This was not happening!

 

“Goodbye, Ryu.”

 

Ryuichi watched as Shuichi turned his back to him and his heart gave a painful lurch.

 

If he called out to him now…!

 

Ryuichi raised his hand and opened his mouth. Eiri stepped back as Shuichi brushed past him and vanished into the suite. Ryuichi closed his mouth and dropped his hand. His heart hurt. It felt as if it was in a tightening vice. Tears stung his eyes. As much as he wanted to, he just could not make the words come out.

 

Eiri turned back to the door and met Sakuma's watery gaze. He smirked, a devilish expression on his face and snorted.

 

Ryuichi gasped and his eyes widened, but before he could say anything, the door closed. The sound of the lock sliding into place echoed down the hall. Suddenly feeling drained, he banged his head against the wall. “Idiot,” he cursed. A lone tear rolled forlornly down his cheek as the pain in his chest grew.

 

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