Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ chapter 15 ( Chapter 15 )

Sorry

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shuichi/Ryuichi, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, Shuichi/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Shuichi and Eiri making out. Ryuichi and Daisuke sit down and have a nice little chat. And the truth behind those photos is revealed.

Warning: Language, OOC (Duh! Do I look like the creator?)

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

 

***

 

Chapter 15

 

[Never again. Because now he knew. No he knew that going home with Ryuichi a year ago had been the biggest mistake of his life. And now it was time to rectify that mistake.]

 

*

 

(Present - Crowne Plaza Hotel, Toronto - Shuichi's Suite)

 

He clung desperately to Yuki's back, his mind reeling from the gentle play of lips against his. The kiss had begun as a mere touch, a chaste brush of lips meant to quell the upset singer, but the temperature rose rapidly between the new lovers. Yuki's lips were the sweetest Shuichi had ever tasted; his kisses intoxicating. He wanted more. He wanted all Yuki had to give. And he longed to give himself completely to the author. Yuki's hands gripped his hips as their lips overlapped sweetly again and again. But despite the nearly unbearable longing to feel Yuki course through him, Shuichi reluctantly pulled away from the embrace. He kept his eyes shut for a moment longer as he savored the taste of Yuki still clinging to his tingling lips.

 

Eiri watched the blissful look that softened Shuichi's features. Without thinking, Eiri lifted the hand that was not trapped between Shuichi's hip and the bed and gently caressed the side of Shuichi's face. Once again, he wondered at how out of character he had been acting ever since he made up his mind to fly to Toronto to make Shuichi his. But it was well worth it if it meant having the opportunity to hold Shuichi in his arms like this. Though, if anyone ever pointed out how much of a romantic he really was, he would sooner be sent to prison for murder than admit the truth behind the statement.

 

Violet eyes fluttered open and focused on hazel eyes that glittered like gold. Catching his breath, Shuichi's heart swelled to the brink of explosion. At first he tried to swallow back his grin, but it overwhelmed him and it burst forth. Being a contagion it soon spread to Eiri, infecting him in a matter of seconds.

 

Eiri fingered a lock of hair off Shuichi's forehead.

 

Shuichi's face grew warm. “Our first kiss,” he whispered, feeling strangely embarrassed all of a sudden. He had to fight with himself to keep from averting his gaze from the author's. What he saw reflected in Yuki's eyes was so raw he felt as if he had forced himself into Yuki's private thoughts without his consent. It was so different from when he looked into Ryuichi's eyes. It was something he was not used to.

 

Eiri hugged his arms securely around Shuichi's waist, knocking their foreheads together. He chuckled lightly as the rosy tint on Shuichi's face brightened. “That's not what Sakuma believes,” he reminded his lover in amusement. Being able to pull a fast one over on Sakuma had been the second greatest moment of the night. The first was being able to hold Shuichi like this.

 

“And whose fault is that?” Shuichi mocked, poking Yuki in the forehead.

 

Eiri frowned. “You have a lot of nerve placing all the blame on me,” he scolded with a hard glare. (1)

 

Shuichi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

 

“It was your idea to deceive him into telling the truth about him and Tatsuha,” Eiri blamed.

 

“Yeah,” Shuichi drawled, “but you could've said no when I asked.” He poked Yuki in the chest for emphasis.

 

“And give up the chance to see such a priceless expression on Sakuma's face?” Eiri snorted. “Not likely.”

 

Shuichi gasped. “Yuki!” he giggled, slapping the older man lightly. “You're so mean!”

 

Eiri shrugged. “So I've been told,” he commented nonchalant.

 

Shuichi giggled, his face bright red. Dropping his head, he bit back a grin.

 

Eiri focused his gaze on the boy whose face was as bright as a boiled tako (2). Instantly, his face softened. He raised his hands back up and stroked a finger up Shuichi's cheek.

 

He used to believe that the love written about in romance novels only existed in fairy tales and in the fertile imagination of lonely housewives and mothers. He never wanted to find out if “happily ever after” really did exist because what if he found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and who he believed felt the same way about him, only to be betrayed like he was seven years ago? He was not sure he could go through that again.

 

Being in a committed relationship scared him to death. He was afraid of being hurt again, of reliving a dark moment from his past he would much rather forget. And that was why he had become so anti-social, why he threw himself at so many women. A momentary fling was something he could control, but falling in love and going through the tumult of a relationship was something beyond his ability to run. It was outside his comfort zone. And this made having to actually express something he could say in five different languages all that much more impossible.

 

Shuichi had somehow been able to mysteriously slip past all the defenses that had been erected over the years to do the impossible, something that others had tried to do but failed. This boy had forced him to confront the demons haunting him. And challenge them Eiri did.

 

Thanks to Shuichi, he was now on the road to recovery. He was not completely healed yet. Remission was a long way off. It was possible that he would never be totally free from this restrictive binding but because of this one teenaged boy, he was able to take that first step passed the darkest moment of his life and go on with his life, hopefully with Shuichi at his side.

 

An overwhelming urge strong armed him so suddenly it blindsided him. A battle of wills played tug-of-war within him as the words he desired to say became lodged prematurely in his throat. His jaw flexed and his lips which had long since gone dry, wormed together as if he were trying to say something, but he remained silent. Swallowing, he ran his tongue over his lips, but still no words were forth coming.

 

Growing frustrated and beyond annoyed at his impairment, Eiri decided to take a step back. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. Then he exhaled slowly, keeping his mind emptied. He did this a couple more times and little by little, he felt the tightness in his body lessen.

 

Finally calmed, Eiri opened his eyes and was surprised to find a set of violet eyes watching him in open curiosity. He narrowed his eyes. “What?” he snapped, feigning annoyance to hide the fact that his pulse had thickened and his mind was melting into a puddle of goo. Him all gaga over a nineteen year old boy? Please!

 

Seeing right through the older man's facade and finding the reaction very entertaining, Shuichi grinned widely with a quick shake of his head. Giggling, he latched onto Yuki. Entwining their legs together and wrapping his arms around Yuki's back, Shuichi snuggled against the author, burying his head in Yuki's chest. He closed his eyes and sighed in contentment, a smile on his face.

 

Eiri blinked, momentarily startled. Snorting, he hugged his arms around Shuichi, holding him tightly against him. If it was ever repeated, he would deny it, but it felt so good, so right to hold Shuichi and to be held by him. “Baka,” he whispered lightly. Dipping his head, he planted a kiss on Shuichi's head.

 

Tipping his head back, Shuichi gazed up into those gorgeous golden orbs. “I love you Yuki,” he confessed.

 

A smile spread slowly across Eiri's face. Tightening his hold on the boy, Eiri's head fell forward and clonked against Shuichi's. He stared deeply into those dark eyes watching him so openly, so full of trust. It was kind of unnerving, but truth be told he would rather have those bejeweled eyes on him then on anyone else. “I know,” Eiri replied. Gently cupping Shuichi's chin, Eiri lowered his head and captured Shuichi's lips. Everything leading up till now had been well worth it. And now that he had Shuichi, there was no way in hell he was ever going to let him go.

 

*

 

(Daisuke's Room)

 

[Ryuichi staggered to his feet, an angry scowl on his face. “Nothing to do with him? This has just as much to do with Yuki as it does Tatsuha!”

 

Daisuke groaned, feeling suddenly sick. Just as he thought. This was all his fault.

 

“Excuse me? Don't you dare compare me to you! I'm not the one having an affair with a sixteen year old!”]

 

Daisuke dropped the teapot onto the cart with a loud “thud”. He stared hypnotically at the city lights reflected on its black surface. Then with a heavy sigh, he hung his head in shame. Closing his eyes, he said a little prayer. He hoped for all of this to be just a very bad dream, but when his eyes opened everything was still the same as before.

 

The clock besides the queen sized bed told him that if he went to bed right now, he would still get a good solid six hours sleep before he had to get up and get ready for the autograph session and then the final run through right after for the concert later that night.

 

And then there was his guest. Lounging in one of the armchairs staring blankly out the window into the night was Sakuma Ryuichi. Daisuke could barely look at the singer his guilt over his involvement in this whole fiasco was so great. Swinging his head from the grieving man who was considered a god to many around the world, Daisuke dropped his head and stared down at his hands, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the tea tray. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

 

Startled out of his quiet meditation, Ryuichi blinked, trying to refocus both his mind and gaze to the here and now. Disconcerted, he looked over his shoulder at Bad Luck's tour manager. “Huh?” He blinked blankly. “'Sorry'? For what?” he asked, tilting his head and looking innocent.

 

“For everything,” Daisuke admitted.

 

“Are you feeling okay?”

 

Daisuke shook his head, his jaw clenched in growing anger. He growled lightly and jerked the service cart. The dishes rang a warning. “Dammit! This is all my fault!”

 

In the face of the other man's agitation, Ryuichi remained annoyingly calm. “What is?” he asked curiously.

 

Daisuke spun around. “Everything! You and Shuichi and Tatsuha…!”

 

Ah! The rising of the sun brings with it a new day, Ryuichi thought. So that was what this was all about. Turning to sit sideways in the chair with his legs folded Indian style and his hands tucked in his lap, he grinned at Daisuke. “What're you talking about? You must have caught a cold,” he teased.

 

“Dammit Ryu!” Daisuke cried angrily.

 

He knew damn well that Ryuichi was not as moronic as he pretended to be. So why was he not angry with him? If it had not been for his interference, Shuichi and Ryuichi would right now be living that happily ever after fairy tale ending that everybody dreams about. But instead…

 

“I'm not sick!” He stalked across the small expanse separating them. Those dark, large innocent eyes watching him without any contention infuriated him. “And I'm not an idiot,” he added.

 

Ryuichi laughed, not too sure about that.

 

“Why aren't you angry with me? Why don't you…?”

 

Ryuichi's grin softened into a smile. “Daisuke.” Gone was the child-like persona.

 

Daisuke was exasperated. “Ryu-“

 

Ryuichi shook his head. “Our problems have nothing to do with you,” he told Daisuke in all seriousness.

 

“But they do!” Daisuke argued.

 

Ryuichi sighed. “Dai-“

 

Daisuke shook his head vigorously. “No! Ryu, you don't understand!”

 

Ryuichi was taken slightly aback.

 

“I'm the one that introduced you!” Daisuke blurted.

 

The sudden confession startled Ryuichi but it was not unexpected. He shook his head in denial. “This and that are two separate things,” he told the guilt laden man.

 

“Ryu!” Daisuke protested.

 

But Ryuichi would have none of it. “Daisuke, you may have introduced me to Tatsuha, but you didn't force me to sleep with him. You didn't make me fall in love with him and it wasn't you who told me to lie to Shuichi all this time.” He shook his head. “No, all you did was introduce me to a fan.”

 

Daisuke was not fully convinced. He could not let Ryuichi let him off the hook that easily. “But-“

 

Ryuichi decided to try a different approach. “If it's your fault for introducing me to Tatsuha, then it's Shu's fault for bringing me to that party in the first place.”

 

That did little to quell the awareness that he was the one responsible for this chaos.

 

“I wasn't up for a party,” Ryuichi continued when he saw that Daisuke was going to argue. “I wasn't feeling too good, but Shu had been so busy working on Bad Luck's debut album that I figured the party would be a great opportunity for us to spend some time together, but…” Ryuichi sighed. “I didn't get to see him that whole night…Then I met…Tatsuha.” He raised his head and locked eyes with the other man. “Shuichi was so caught up in the hype surrounding the release of `The Rage Beat' and his upcoming CD that he didn't have any time for me anymore, but Tatsuha…did.” His heart felt heavy as he admitted it. “Tatsuha did for me what Shu…couldn't.” He knew how that must sound, but it was the truth. He had been lonely with Shuichi in the studio all the time. The apartment had been so empty, but then Tatsuha came into his life and things had not looked so desolate anymore.

 

Daisuke did not know what to say to that. He plopped down into the armchair opposite Ryuichi, completely drained.

 

Silence fell around them.

 

[“I'm not the one who looked right into my eyes,” Shuichi sobbed, “and lied to me! No, I'm the one who just wasted the last year of his life! I'm the one who's been mocked and laughed at and made the butt of a very fucked up joke!”

 

Ryuichi gasped. He stared at Shuichi in horror. “Shu, no!”

 

“I gave you everything I was! I trusted you! I loved you and you lied to me! You used me!”

 

“I'd never-!”

 

“It's the same shit, Ryu! Each and every fucking time and I've had it! It's over! I'm through playing games with you! And I threw my ring away so that makes us even!”]

 

Ryuichi could still see Shuichi standing in the doorway of the bedroom in the suite right across the hall, his face stained with tears, his eyes shot with redness and glaring at him with a mixture of emotions racing across his face. The last thing he had intended was to fall in love with Tatsuha. He had not meant to hurt Shuichi like he had. He could not change what happened, no matter how much he may or may not want to, but it had happened and he now had to live with what he did. What happened with Tatsuha was something he had had no control over, but causing Shuichi such pain had been within his ability to control. But like the coward he was, instead of confronting Shuichi and dealing with their problems, he had been a complete idiot and ran from them.

 

[“It's over!”]

 

Shuichi's claim of finality between the two of them ran sharp and painful

 

Tears prickled Ryuichi eyes, veiling his vision. His chest tightened. He would never be able to forgive himself for ruining the best thing that ever happened to him. Ryuichi fell forward, dropping his face in his hands and sobbed quietly.

 

Daisuke watched the man silently with sorrow and pity gripping his heart. He knew what Ryuichi said. His head was telling him that what Ryuichi said was true, but that did not stop the tight grip of guilt weighing heavily on his soul and it did not stop him from thinking that if he had not agreed to introduce Tatsuha to his “god” then none of this would be happening now.

 

*

 

(Couple Hours Later)

 

In the grey hours before dawn when the world was so still it could make you question your sanity, a lone figure sat hunched over a laptop. The clacking of the keys was the only sound that penetrated the heavy curtain of silence that had settled around the city.

 

With a final jab at the keyboard, he sat up and read the short message typed on the screen. Satisfied, he grabbed the mouse sitting idle besides the computer and double clicked on the “send” icon towards the top of the screen. Sitting back, he threaded his hands through his hair and lacing his fingers behind his head, watched the screen as the message was sent out successfully.

 

A smirk slowly crossed his face. With a sly glint in his eye, he unfolded his hands and scooted forward to the edge of the couch. Grabbing the miniature wireless mouse, he cleared the screen in order to send out an all points bulletin.

 

“Attention,” he whispered as his fingers flew over the keys, “Star Magazine, National Enquirer and The Globe. It seems that the so-called `sex-god' is all about sex and not just with his committed partner.”

 

Chuckling, he typed the message that come sun rise would be flooding the North American and then the International airwaves. Of course, one must have proof to back up the accusations one was making, mustn't one? And proof was something he had abundance of.

 

*

 

(Half an Hour Later - Tokyo, Japan)

 

Located in a plain white non discrete building in an alley off a side street was a small ramen specialty shop owned and run by an elderly couple. Ma and Pa, as they were called by everyone, did not advertise. Their little wayside noodle stand continued to thrive year after year on word of mouth alone. Most of their business came from their regulars, business men and school children. But every now and then someone new would walk through those doors. Usually they are referred to Ma and Pa by Matsushita Naoki-san, a retired Tokyo police detective who had opened his own private investigation firm in the studio above the ramen shop that he rented from Ma and Pa.

 

*

 

Behind a half light door that had lost its special walnut finish long ago with its etched opaque glass and what had at one time read, “Private Investigator Matsushita Naoki” in large black characters, but was now missing more than half of those characters sat a middle aged man.

 

Matsushita had been forced to retire from the force due to a loss of hearing in his left ear. Unfortunately, he had been too close to a pipe bomb when it had gone off. And instead of being transferred to some desk job at the station, he had opted for early retirement. It had taken him one week to realize that retirement and he did not get along. So instead of waiting for death to come claim him, he decided to go back into law enforcement. Only this time for himself. And that had been over a decade ago. He had to admit, the first few years had been rough, but lately things had begun to finally pick up. Business had been so good in fact he had actually been forced to turn down several jobs. He also saved up enough to renovate his dingy studio that he used as both his place of business and residence. He was not sure if he had to thank his latest client for that or not, but it was an awfully big coincidence that when he accepted a job from him, things had begun to pick up.

 

When scrolling over the long list of emails in his inbox, he noticed one from “shinsk41” for a “job well done”.

 

Matsushita's eyes lit up. “Speak of the devil,” he exclaimed.

 

He double clicked on the email and the message popped onto the screen.

 

“Payment for your services,” he read out loud, “has been wired into your account. Thank you for all your help.”

 

Matsushita smiled sadly. He was not sure if he really liked to be thanked for spying on a spouse suspected of being unfaithful. He liked it even less when his client's suspicions turned out to be based on fact.

 

“I hope everything turns out okay for you…Shuichi,” he wished softly as he sat back in his chair.

 

 

 

***

 

(1) I borrowed this from “Only the Ring Finger Knows”

(2) Borrowed this from “Our Kingdom”

 

A/N: One more chapter then the epilogue to go. Then I'll get back to “Because of You”. Anyway, so we finally found out who sent Shuichi those photos, huh? Shuichi himself. Ha! Guess he did not trust Ryuichi so much after all, huh? Until the next chapter…!