Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Stairway to Heaven ❯ Flesh Wounds ( Chapter 3 )

Pairings: Yuki x Shuichi

Warnings: Um, same as all the other chapters.

Disclaimer: -_-; Same as the last two!

FYI: Wheeee! Chapter 3 finally finished!!! I'm happy, are you happy? I hope so!! Arigatou minna~! *hugs and cookies* I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dedicated to the wonderful and amazing, Forsaken. *smiles* I love yah girl. ~.^

*~Stairway to Heaven~*

"Tadaim--" his words were cut short when a flying Eiri pounced on him, knocking him down from his standing position. He fell to the floor with a thud, Eiri smiling atop of him.

"You took forever!" the blond complained, a sweet pout adorning his face. Shuichi giggled and pushed his lover off of him.

"I didn't mean to be. I just couldn't find the right shade!" he held up the small box of hair dye proudly. Eiri made a cooing noise in the back of his throat, showing his happiness at the color that Shuichi chose. It was almost the same color that he'd had when they first met.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Eiri jumped to his feet, running from the foyer into the bathroom. "C'mon!" he yelled again, already getting the towels out and an old tee-shirt for Shuichi to wear. The vocalist smiled softly to himself as he slipped from his shoes. This wasn't so bad, he told himself. Eiri could be a child and everything would be okay. Just peachy.

Wrong.

Shuichi knew it wasn't that easy, but for now, just for now, he'd indulge in that fantasy and lose himself.

He ran to the bathroom, already stripping off his shirt. When he got there, he handed his working shirt to a blushing Eiri, taking the other old one and placing it on. The blond's cheeks were still frosted with a blush, so Shuichi kissed them softly, whispering "I love you" in his ear. Eiri shivered and smiled.

"Okay! Um, here's the bottle...I'd do it for you, but I'm too afraid I'd get it everywhere other than your hair..." Eiri giggled, sitting down on the floor, watching as Shuichi placed on the plastic gloves that came with the dye. "Here we go!" Shuichi smiled as he began to distribute the hair dye through his locks of red and black.

Shuichi chuckled, while he massaged in the hair dye thourghly, keeping a watchful eye on his lover though the cabinet mirror.

"So, how was your day?" Shuichi asked to make conversation, hoping he'd actually get one this time.

"Mm...boring! I need something to do..."

"How about you write?" Shuichi suggested, although he knew it was kind of pointless. He had well informed the editors and publishers of Eiri, about his condition and they all knew any chance of another award-winning novel was slim-to-none. Tohma had taken care of the rest, issuing a public statement that Eiri was taking a long deserved break from writing. The public bought the story to some degree, but his loyal fans were rabid. Mostly because they never saw it coming. Eiri still got fan letters and they still asked why, and that they missed him. He never read any of them though.

"I could write...But I wouldn't know what to write about." He seemed to ponder, playing with the white towel he was holding in his hand. Deciding it didn't matter much, he changed the subject of conversation.

"How was your day Shuichi? Did you sing lots?" His voice sounded so...young. So excited. So innocent. Shuichi shivered. This was proving harder then it looked. Forgetting about everything for just one night kept seeming more impossible as every second ticked by.

He squirted out the last of the hair dye and combed it through his hair. "My day was good...I sang lots and lots Eiri. Seguchi-san came by and listened; he said he really liked it." Shuichi rinsed off his hands after throwing away the gloves, and turned to Eiri, sitting across from him on the cool bathroom floor.

Eiri poked Shuichi. "Your hair looks funny." he stated with a giggle. Shuichi's hair was spiked up with all the gel-like dye in it. He looked somewhat like a porcupine.

He smirked and poked Eiri back. "I know it does silly. Just give it about twenty minutes. It'll be all pink again!" he smiled happily, thinking somewhere in the back of his mind that maybe if he had pink hair, it would somehow resolve all his problems. Maybe Eiri would se the pink hair and be reminded of when they first met, and suddenly be back to normal. He'd call him an idiot, walk away and write a book. He'd come out, make love to Shuichi for hours and then smoke in bed. After that he'd whisper sweet nothings into Shuichi's ear until he fell asleep. Then, they'd start the same thing all over again the next day.

That was exactly what would happen.

Shuichi just couldn't help but think he was getting more insane as the days went by...If only he could see what Eiri saw. If only he could understand why this was happening...

"Did you see them today?" Shuiuchi asked sullenly, not sure why he had to bring that up. He heard Eiri's small confirmation.

"She said you didn't love me anymore..." he confessed quietly, head hanging low. Shuichi closed his eyes, feeling pure rage surface inside his heart. How could some stupid little twerp who didn't even exist, claim that he didn't love Eiri anymore?

"She's a lying sack of shi--" he caught sight of Eiri's somewhat hurt facial expression. He stopped his words and took a deep breath. Taking Eiri's hand in his, he smiled his happiest, sweetest smile he could muster. "It's not true, because I DO love you. ...I hope you didn't believe her..." Shuichi felt stupid. He was talking about Eiri's apparation as if she were a real thing...

"I did! I said she was lying! And that you did love me...and she got mad. She started to cry--I didn't mean to make her cry! She looked like you do, when you cry..." Eiri looked guilty, squeezing Shuichi's hand.

His heart melted into a big puddle of goo. Shuichi wanted to gather Eiri up in his arms and snuggle him for the rest of his life. Instead, he kissed the back of Eiri's hand gently, gracing the blond with a genuine smile of joy. "You make me so happy Eiri, don't let her make you think otherwise. Okay?" His left eye closed in a wink, mouth curved into a grin. Eiri smiled brightly.

"Okay! I promise, because I know she's lying! Shuichi loves me and only me!" Eiri jumped into Shuichi's lap, giggling under his breath. The lead singer for Bad Luck couldn't believe the position he was in. The tall and lithe Yuki Eiri was curled up in his lap; the small and short Shindo Shuichi. He would have laughed, had his heart been in a different mood. Instead, he circled his arms around Eiri's body, relishing in the feel of the blonds heartbeat against his chest.

----

"Ow! Too hot! Hot hot hot hot hoooooooooooot!" Shuichi squealed, his head under the tap in the bathroom sink. Eiri blushed cimsion, turning the knob to cold so that Shuichi's head wasn't under a full blast of scalding water. He heard a long "Ahhhhh...much better..." from the singer, before he began to rub out the dye, happy at the now pink hair that gleamed back at him.

Once the conditioner had been in and rinsed out, Shuichi's head re-emerged from the white porcelain bathroom sink, a full head of bubblegum pink hair. He grinned at his reflection, blue eyes sparkling happily. He used the towel Eiri handed him to dry his hair, smirking at the little amount of dye that sprinkled across the fluffy white surface.

"So, what do you think?" Shuichi giggled with a wink, spinning around, giving a vouge pose fit for Madonna. Eiri smiled and tugged on a piece of pink hair. "I think it's wonderful Shuichi. You look cute!" Shuichi blushed a bit at the comment, throwing Eiri the towel.

"What should we eat for dinner?" The singer asked, walking from the bathroom, into the kitchen, where he stood against the counter, waiting for Eiri's input on supper.

"Anou...I'm not hungry..." came the soft voice of Eiri, who stood in the kitchen, fidgeting nervously. Shuichi cocked his head to the side and stared at Eiri. "What's wrong? Don't you feel good?" He asked, just slightly worried. The blond shook his head, eyes never leaving the floor. Shuichi sighed, leaning against the counter.

"We dont have to eat just yet. We'll wait..." He could already sense the change in his lover. Gone was the child, in came the irritable and confused man, not too sure of anything anymore.

Eiri said nothing but walked out into the living room, plopping down on the couch. Beside him was the little girl, who sat happily beside the author. "Ne, ne! Lets play Eiri!" she giggled, bouncing from her place beside him, to the front of him, taking his hands in hers.

"Not now," he whispered, gesturing to the kitchen, where Shuichi still stood, sobbing quietly to himself. "Maybe later. Go away now." Eiri gave his kindest smile, watching as she disappeared once more.

He sighed, closing his tired eyes. His brain was swirling again, pulling him in every direction possible. One minute he felt sad, the next giddy. He couldn't figure out what exactly was going on.

A soft hand touched his shoulder. "Shhh, you shouldn't worry about her. Shuichi's sad." He looked up and saw a woman, glorious blonde hair cascading down her back. Her golden angel wings were tucked into her back, twitching every now and then. She was the golden angel Eiri frequently saw, the one who protected over Shuichi, kept him safe from harm. And now, since Eiri could see her, she began to use him as her medium, telling him things that she thought Shuichi shouldn't be doing anymore. Or simply, letting Eiri know when Shuichi was in a time of need.

"Is he sad?" Eiri whispered, reaching out unconsciously to touch a feather. She nodded, stepping back, making his hand just miss her wing. He frowned, looking at her brown eyes, with shards of gold swirling about in them.

"He's in the kitchen..." She turned and walked out of his sight, leaving nothing to say that she was ever there.

Eiri stood on shaky legs, making his way over to the kitchen, where he found his pink haired lover curled up in a ball, crying his eyes out leaning against the fridge.

He felt terrible. After all, it was all his fault Shuichi was crying. If he wasn't so messed up, Shuichi wouldn't be like this...He'd be happily talking his ear off while writing a new song. "I'm sorry." Eiri whispered, falling to his knees in front of Shuichi, who looked up startled. "I'm so sorry Shuichi. I'm so sorry..." he looked on the verge of suicide.

Wrapping his arms around Eiri, Shuichi did his best to stop his tears and concentrate on his lover instead. "Don't be sorry, ne? It's not your fault. You didn't ask for this Eiri...you didn't." he said it more to convince himself, than the shaking lover in his arms.

"I'm so messed up! I--I don't know what to do..." Eiri's voice cracked into a whisper, trailing off into nothing. His body was shaking like a fragile leaf in the cold autum wind.Shuichi gulped silently, biting his bottom lip. This always seemed to happen. Either he or Eiri would break down, crying their eyes out until it hurt to do so. Then, they either went to bed, or stayed up talking about nothing, doing their damndest to keep their minds off of this.

"Eiri...Eiri, I'm taking you to the doctor tommorrow." Shuichi stated, breaking the embrace they were locked in. The blond shook his head, looking at the singer with frightened eyes.

"No...no please. Please Shuichi...I don't want to go. Not any more tests. Please..." Eiri pleaded, frightened and lost. He was like a small child, lost and alone without his mother to find him amongst the throngs of people. He felt so alone in that moment, he thought for sure his soul would shatter.

Shuichi cupped Eiri's cheeks, blue eyes firm in his decision. "You're going tommorrow. I'm taking you to a different doctor, Eiri. Don't be scared, okay?" Despite his cold eyes, his voice was soft and comforting. However, Eiri took no comfort in it. He scooted away from Shuichi, glaring.

"I said I didn't want to go! Why won't you listen to me?!" he shouted, hands balled into fists. Shuichi ignored it and stood, offering his hand to Eiri.

"You're going. End of story."

Eiri's eyes widened and he slapped Shuichi's hand away. The vocalist, growled low, and narrowed his eyes. "Eiri," he said in a warning tone "Stop being such a brat! You're going and that's final!" It suddenly struck him; he was sounding like a parent. A parent...

Since when did he stop being a lover, and start being a mother?

Shuichi dropped his hand, closing his eyes. He said nothing, walking out of the kitchen, leaving Eiri alone to listen as the front door opened and closed, silence blanketing the apartment.

He shuddered, wiping tears from his eyes. His brain felt heavy. Like it weighed a million pounds, dragging him down. He didn't want to move, so he sat in the dark kitchen, staring at the floor.

"See? You make him so upset Eiri. Look at what you did! He left without even telling you where he went!" Her small voice grated on his nerves. It jarred his brain awake and made his head explode in pain.

He screamed.

----

The sounds of shattering glass filled the Tokyo apartment. Sounds of screaming and the breaking of wood followed. The rage he felt...it was like he was living in that moment again. He could almost see Kitazawa staring at him, with those amazing eyes...boring into skull. Asking him, why he did this. Why, why, why.

"Why?...Why?! Don't ask me that! YOU did it! Not me!" He cried, smashing more plates against the wall. He liked the way the glass sounded when it smashed into the drywall, it reminded him of the way it sounded when his world fell apart all those many years ago.

He stopped suddenly, huffing and full of pure hate. He was alone in the apartment. Completely alone. No angels hovered over his head, no small voices taunting his mind. No shadows of Kitazawa lurking inside his soul. Nothing.

The picture of Shuichi on the television caught his eye. It was glinting in the rays of the orange sun as it set in the sky. Softly, without a sound, he picked up the picture, studying it.

His eyes raked over the blue eyes that were smiling at him. Extending so much love. He focused on the lips, curved into a wide smile, one of absolute joy.

Shuichi never smiled like that anymore.

And it was all because of him.

He threw the picture against the glass balcony doors, hearing it smash with a dull thud. He was pissed off. The glass didn't break. He wasn't too sure if he wanted the doors to break, or the frame.

He decided it didn't matter. Picking up the still in-tact picutre and frame, he proceeded to smash it agasint the balcony doors, seeing which one broke first.

In fact, it was neither.

Eiri broke, all his movements stopping suddenly. He pressed his cheek against the cool glass, liking the calming feeling it gave him. Almost like cool water was splashed over the fire in his heart. He slid down the sliding glass doors, still holding the picture of Shuichi in his hands. The frame had cracked into millions of lines. One large crack made its jagged way down the picture, another smaller one going across Shuichi's face. It ruined his blue eyes. Made them look distorted and unreal. It made Eiri mad.

He threw the picture one last time, against his wall. It finally broke with a satisfying crash.

Eiri was silent. His head was silent. It was as if everyone took a vacation and the city of Tokyo was barren. Alone...

"I love you, Eiri." He couldn't tell who said that. If it was real, or fake. If it was a memory or something he made up. The voice was jumbled, it didn't make sense. He couldn't recongize it...

He screamed again, souding like a wounded animal, ready to die. His body rocked back and forth, cheek still pressed against the cold glass doors. His head hurt. It felt like someone was digging into with a dull spoon. Digging, digging digging.

His bitten fingernails scratched at his skin. He felt dirty. They scratched, but no blood came to the surface. He scratched harder, and still nothing. Eyes wide and frantic, he searched for something sharp. He got on his knees, crawling into the kitchen, where the entire floor was covered in broken glass. He picked a piece up carefully, studying it. It was sharp, with rough jagged edges.

He found himself back in his spot against the glass doors, in the semi-darkenss. The sun was gone now, the moon still not bright enough to do any good. A few stars twinkled in the deep blue sky, waiting for someone to wish on them.

He studied the piece of glass intensely once more. His light hazle eyes never left the gleaming piece of clear glass, as if it were his one and only hope. He began to hum. Softly to himself; a tune he'd heard before. One of Shuichi's mellow songs, the kind that lulled you to sleep. That soothed you. The kind of song that would be sung to him softly in the middle of the night, when sleep was evading him. Shuichi's hushed voice echoed in his ears. It bore into his brain. He got louder, singing the words.

Crimson blood bubbled to the surface of his pale skin, causing him to look at it curiously. It mesmerized him; watching the sharp glass slice open his skin, red blood rising to the surface, dribbling down his arm. It felt good. As if, cutting open his skin, allowed all the pain to leech out; to be swept away in the night air.

He continued to cut, deeper and deeper in the same spot; still singing his song. He giggled softly, watching as more and more blood seeped out of his body. Maybe this was what he needed to do. Maybe it would please Kitazawa, it would make him go away. Maybe the little girl would smile and realize Shuichi loved him...Maybe...maybe...he wasn't making any sense.

Suddenly, reality slapped him in the face. He jerked, wincing in pain as the glass stuck in his skin. He realized what he had done. The broken glass. The holes in the walls. The snapped table and chairs. The bloodied arm, the glass that stuck in his skin.

"I'm sorry." he muttered, ripping the glass out of his arm with a sickening slurping sound. "I'm sorry!" he yelled, afraid to move. What would Shuichi do? "He's going to leave me, isn't he?" He didn't need to see her, to see the nod.

"He'll be so angry. He'll never, ever, want to see you again. He'll want to kill you." She gave a delightful smile, her blue eyes oozing with hate.

He nodded numbly, searching for that shard of glass. Maybe he'd save himself now...He didn't want to deal with Shuichi's reaction. It would hurt too much. It would kill him to see those blue eyes he loved so much, glare at him in hate. Hear that voice that soothed him so, swear at him in disgust. He wanted to die.

Keys jingled outside the door, the loud sound of the lock turning open broke the tense silence inside the apartment. Eiri froze, like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He didn't know what to do. The seconds passed by, each ticking sound like a bomb inside his head. It hurt.

"Eiri..?" Shuichi called from the doorway, stepping into his slippers. He padded to the living room. "Ei--" He stopped dead. His feet felt bolted to the floor. There, was his blond lover, beautiful eyes and hair gleaming from the lights of the Tokyo night. Blood stained the carpet, stained his skin. He frantically searched around Eiri's body with his eyes, looking for anything that could have cut him like that. The innocent peice of glass smiled happily at him, lying beside Eiri's thigh. Shuichi gasped, not believing what his eyes were telling him.

"What happened?" He whispered, afraid to speak. It felt like his voice would shatter everything. Maybe make the entire universe crumble.

"I'm sorry." Was all Eiri could say. He was so scared. So afraid of Shuichi's reaction. His golden eyes didn't dare look at Shuichi, didn't dare leave their spot staring at the floor. Shuichi sighed, feeling another headache bubble. He calmly left the living room, headed for the kitchen. His stomach was in knots, he knew something had happened, and he was afraid to know what it was.

He flicked on the kitchen light, and saw the linoliem floor covered with shards of broken glass. Glass from cups, plates, serving dishes, even Eiri's fine china. All of it. Smashed into thousands of pieces. Shuichi felt dizzy. He felt faint. This couldn't be happening. No, it was a lie. This was just some sick joke, and any minute now, his Yuki would carry him off to bed. Any minute now.

He waited, blue eyes wide in shock.

He waited. And watied. There was nothing but the muffled sobs from Eiri in the living room....Nothing but this frantic heartbeat and laboured breathing.

"Eiri!" he screamed, running into the living room, rushing to the blond's side. "Why did you do that? Why?" Shuichi's voice was angry, it was desperate. Desperate to understand what was going on. He got no answer, only harder sobs. The smell of blood was slowly becoming more and more apparent. It made him sick.

Gently, he stroked Eiri's hair; mainly because he didn't know what else to do. He needed to occupy himself, needed to take his mind off the rage that he felt. He wasn't mad at Eiri, he was mad at whatever caused Eiri to do this.

He was infuriated at whatever it was that took his lover away from him.

"Why did you do that Eiri?" He ground his teeth.

"I was angry! I don't know, okay? I don't know! It hurt! It hurt so badly...and I didn't know how to make it stop."

Shuichi decided he was going to call that doctor tommorrow morning, make an appointment and drag his blond lover there. He was sick of this. He was going to die. It hurt Shuichi deeply to watch as the only man he'd ever loved, torture himself. It hurt to watch Eiri scream in pain and anguish from something Shuichi did not understand. It killed him when Eiri giggled like a boy, playing a card game with no one. Slowly, like a cancerous tumor, Shuichi's pain and anger grew and spread. It was slowly killing him. And he knew it was slowly taking his lover away from him.

"It hurts." Eiri sniffled, holding out his injured arm. Most of the blood had dried, but some of it was still fresh, especially when he moved. Shuichi winced, not daring to touch the open skin.

"I know it does Eiri. Come on, lets go to the bathroom and get you clean. Ne?" Despite the frightened tone of his voice, Shuichi's eyes portrayed all the kindness in the world; something in which Eiri took great comfort in. Shuichi stood and helped Eiri up with a grunt, careful not to step on the glass. He didn't even want to think about that mess right now.

Cleaning Eiri's wound proved more difficult than he thought. Every time he went near it, the poor blond would cringe and pull back his arm, saying it hurt too much. He nearly had a heart attack when Shuichi pulled out the hydrogen peroxide.

Sighing, Shuichi wet the washcloth with more cool water, gently cleaning away as much blood as possible, all the while trying to keep Eiri out of pain. The blond was doing his best not to cry. He held in his cries of pain, biting his lip. He refused to make this harder on Shuichi, who was looking very aggravated at the moment.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted, casting fearful hazle eyes towards Shuichi, who only nodded and continued on with his work. Eiri sat quietly on the floor, eyes downcast, while Shuichi kneeled in front of him, dressing his wound. After most of the blood had been cleaned, he placed on some disinfectant, followed with some gauze and bandages from their first aid kit. He wasn't too sure if it would need stitches, and to be honest, he didn't want to forcefully drag Eiri into the hospital to find out.

Once that was done and over with, Shuichi rose, exhaling loudly. He began putting things away, when a soft tug on his shirt happened, causing him to drop the first aid kit, smashing to the floor. Eiri backed away shyly, looking down. Shuichi, wanted to scream at Eiri. He was just in a pissy mood, but as he looked at the twenty seven year-old, standing there like a little boy, he felt bad for even thinking of being angry at such an innocent. Instead, he knelt down and began picking things up.

"It's alright Eiri. I'm not mad at you," he gave a smile "Was there something you wanted?" He saw the the blond nod sheepishly, eyes still downcast. Shuichi gave a small chuckle, forgetting all about the first aid supplies. "What do you want Eiri?" He asked kindly, giving his best smile. Eiri looked up, and saw that smile Shuichi wore. Just like the old times...Suddenly, the blond's face lit up. He smiled brightly.

"I want to take a bath." He pointed to the large bathtub that sat behind Shuichi. The now pink haired singer, gave a grin and nodded.

"Alright...but, only on ONE condition!" He smirked, pointing at Eiri. The blond blinked his cat-like eyes at Shuichi, tilting his head to the side.

"Okay...what's the condition?" he asked quietly, afraid it would be something horrible. Like running up and down the stairs for an hour. Or maybe watching 24 hours worth of 90210 reruns. Or the mother of them all: Having to go the doctors tommorrow willingly!

Shuichi gave a nervous smile and winked. "I get to take the bath with you."

----

~To be continued~

AN: ^____________^ Chappy 4 will be out...um, soon? ^^; I'm so sorry for the long wait!!! I'm such a crap head. -.- Gomen!!! Hope to see you next chappy~!

~Nevo~ :D