Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Tenshi no Bisei ❯ Shinmiri ( Chapter 1 )

Tenshi no Bisei

by: Yumei

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Disclaimer: ^^' I only wish I owned Gravitation, but of course, I can't take credit for such a brilliant piece of work. X_x;;

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A/N: Ano ^^; This is my first Gravitation fic, so please give me a break. The title, by the way, means "Angel's Beautiful Voice." *sweatdrops* being that it's Gravitation, there's a lot of angels with beautiful voices x.x;; Arigatou and please enjoy!

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Chapter One: Shinmiri

The night was cold in Japan and the snow fell from the skies lightly as winter slowly approached. The entire building was silent and dark in N-G Records, all but one room at the great height of the building. A single light was on and blazing in the cool, starlit night. The company had been closed for the day for hours already, but a single person remained.

Seguchi Tohma sighed quietly to himself and leaned back in his chair. He had spent a long day at work and still more was piled high on his desk. Of course, he expected no less. Running such a large corporation like N-G Records wasn't exactly the easiest task around.

Glancing at the clock that ticked away on his wall, Tohma sighed once again. It was already far past midnight and He would be lucky to even get two precious hours of sleep. Taking his coat off the back of his chair, he prepared to leave the rest of the bulge of paperwork for the morning.

The people who knew him well, which happened to be a quite small of a number, instantly realized he was overworking himself because he was obviously depressed. His divorce with Mika-san had been unexplained, and was constantly bothered by reporters and other people trying to find the truth behind it all. To be honest, Tohma, himself, wasn't exactly sure what had happened between them. Despite his affection towards Eiri-san, he really did love his wife.

He had been losing sleep, but still did his duties running the corporation. He was stressed and depressed. Usually, just about every night when he could no longer sleep out of guilt, he turned to the bar he visited on a regular basis. It always seemed to fascinate the other people in the bar that he had such a high tolerance level.

Despite his stern business attitude in the public, he went home each night to cry softly alone. Life was going downhill. Of course, there was a time nearly half a year ago before Ryuichi-san went back to New York when they could behave like high school best friends again. Hanging out, laughing, talking, and sharing the pain and emotion that had been locked away to each other.

They had been life-long friends and would continue to be that way, despite the great distances between them. He remembered seeing his best friend off at the airport the day he decided to go back to America. Ryuichi-san had left rather abruptly, making Tohma wonder what was going on. All he could remember was that sad smile on his face. Between the time they were apart was when his marriage with Mika-san had crashed to the ground.

Coming back to reality, Tohma gathered his things carefully, making sure he didn't miss anything. It was deep into the night and he didn't want to be driving back because he forgot something or other. He yawned, bending over to retrieve his car keys.

The ringing of the phone on his desk startled him out of his thoughts. Tohma stared at it oddly for a moment. Not many people knew the number to his personal phone and a person must be insane to call at this time at night. Even important record dealers would have to go through several of his secretaries before actually speaking to him in person. Feeling intrigued, the blond reached out for the phone and answered it with a polite, "Moshi moshi, Seguchi desu."

There was a pause at the other end before quickly melting into a familiarly beautiful laugh. "Seems you haven't changed after all, Tohma. Working at such late hours is bad for your health, you know."

It took a good few minutes for the confused blond to realize who he was speaking to. "Ryuichi-san?" he asked in shock. "I could barely recognize your voice. Are you calling all the way from America?"

Another silence hung between the two for an odd moment. Ryuichi finally responded with a serious tone that seemed odd, "Tohma…I'm not in America. I'm here. In Japan. At the airport…"

Another wave of shock hit the blond with those words. "Right now? Ryuichi-san, I'll be there in five minutes."

"Sorry," the singer apologized quietly, "I didn't mean to disturb you at such a late hour. You should be getting home to Mika-san. I'll just call a taxi. I just needed to speak with you."

"Well, then you can speak to me in five minutes when I see you face to face," Tohma responded stubbornly. He winced slightly hearing his ex-wife's name mentioned. The seriousness in Ryuichi's voice was starting to worry him. He had never heard Ryuichi-san like this before. Something had to be wrong. "Ryuichi-san…daijoubu desu?"

Ryuichi smiled through the phone. "I'm fine, really. I guess…I'm just tired. Must be jet lag. Don't worry. I'm eager to see you again though."

Grabbing his hat from the desk, Tohma responded with a quiet chuckle. "I suppose I was overreacting a bit. Please wait for me."

"Hai…" Ryuichi hung the phone in the booth quietly and sighed to himself. So painful… If simply talking to someone hurt so much, how would he feel when he saw them again? How would he be able to tell them the truth. About why he came back home…

No one would love him if they knew. He had seen at the hospital how some people had reacted to the news of their loved ones' condition. Ryuichi smiled serenely into the sky. It was so good to be back home once again. He had a lot of "work" to do with the people he cared about.

As promised, in a blur of five minutes, Ryuichi spotted Tohma jumping out of his car to look around frantically. He smiled to himself. It was rare moment that Tohma would lose his cool. Pulling his knees closer to his chest on the bench, Ryuichi rested his head on his knees and called out to his friend quietly.

Tohma had wandered around, lost, for a moment before he heard Ryuichi-san's unmistakable voice, calling him by that ridiculous, but rather cute nick name that the kept between themselves. Ryuichi-san had an amazing ability to be wonderfully adorable no matter the situation. Tohma dashed to the bench where he had heard the teasing "ToTo-san!" ring out from. "Ryuichi-san…"

Silence was brought them. The happy look on their faces was worth more than any words could ever express. The cool breeze nipped at their flushed faces, both unsure of what to say.

Ryuichi was the first to turn away. He couldn't bear to look into those eyes. Every time he saw them, they trapped him and gazed deeply into his tortured soul. His heart pounded with a painful thump each passing moment. Or maybe it's lust that's taking over me, Ryuichi thought grimly. He looked up when he felt Tohma sit next to him on the cold bench.

"There's a lot we need to talk about, Ryuichi-san," Tohma said quietly, looking straight ahead, rather than into his friend's eyes. "I…I've been wanting to see…I mean, I've been wondering how you were…since then…"

"I missed you too," Ryuichi grinned, winking. He understood the way Tohma tried to say things. It was odd though, he had known that his friend was a smooth talker, a successful businessman, and a good keyboardist and never once had he heard him stutter with loss of words like just a moment ago. "It's…cold…"

Blinking out of his trance, Tohma's eyes shot to Ryuichi's face in an instant. He was smiling but it was true, his face was a bit pale and his fingers were icy. "Gomen nasai," he apologized quickly, reaching out to take the singer's bag. Glancing at the pale face, he offered a gloved hand to him before pulling the surprised brunette into a quick but warm embrace. Apologizing once again with a sincere smile, Tohma led the other man to his car.

The silence held wasn't an awkward one. The two seemed to simply be enjoying each other's company. Ryuichi stared out the window silently. He felt so unlike himself…out of character. He was Sakuma Ryuichi…legendary Nittle Grasper idol and singer that went solo in America. Yet he still felt so empty…

Tohma took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at his friend. He still looked a bit sad, even though he was smiling to himself. Deciding to break the silence, the blond questioned him about America. "Were you…happy there? Ryuichi-san?"

"Yes, I think…but I'm happier to be back…with you," he replied quietly. Suddenly, he didn't feel like going back home anymore. "ToTo-san," he laughed playfully, "let's go get a drink."

***

Drowning yourself away in alcohol didn't seem like a bad idea at first. It was just like the "old times." The two resisted the urge to call Noriko like a reunion of Nittle Grasper almost. Tohma's high tolerance level only caused him to feel a bit warm and flushed after a few drinks, but Ryuichi on the other hand was dead drunk.

It had taken much of Tohma's efforts to finally manage to help Ryuichi out the door with an around his waist to support him. "You shouldn't have drunk so much, Ryuichi-san," the blond said with a trail of a smile.

"Don't act like my father or something," Ryuichi grumbled in his drunken state. "I'm the same age as you and it's not like we're high school kids anymore. Neeeeeeeee, ToTo-san? Isn't Mika-san going to be angry with you for going home so late?"

Drooping his head slightly, Tohma clutched the steering wheel tightly. "Ryuichi-san… Mika-san and I… we've been divorced for almost half a year now."

Opening an eye painfully, Ryuichi felt a wave of guilt cross over him. Blushing, he quickly apologized for asking such a stupid thing. He was starting to feel tired now and his head was throbbing. He sighed when Tohma pulled up at the apartment that he had left for nearly a year now. Clutching his jacket, he whispered pitifully, "I don't want to go inside there."

The blond blinked at him, confused. "Ryuichi-san…" he said slowly and carefully, looking up at his pale face. To his surprise, a few silent tears had filled his eyes. "D-daijoubu desu?" he asked quickly with alarm, reaching out for the other's shoulder.

"I'm fine," the brunette said quickly, shaking his head. "I just feel…scared… I'm afraid, Tohma…"

"Ryuichi-san…" Tohma studied him for a moment. He was more worried than ever. Never had he seen him like this before. Never crying, never sad…it tore at his heart. Then again, it might have been the fact that he was drunk. Long lines creased his still young-looking face in concern. Maybe it would be better if he stayed at his house. The apartment felt very lonely after Mika-san left. "I hope you wouldn't mind staying with me then."

Digging his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket, looking away, Ryuichi said nothing, silently telling Tohma he would appreciate it. He was so distracted…he'd never be able to forget those words he heard in New York. Yet, the conversation was growing fuzzy in his memory.

"Collapsed for the fifth time this week, did you? There really could be something wrong with you…"

"He's nearly delusional! Look at that blank look on his face. There's nothing we can do for him…here… It's best to send him back to his home. Maybe there are some people who care about him that may help him pull through…"

Pull through…pull through…people kept telling him to pull through. Would he really do that? He just wanted to come back…to say goodbye… Why fight it now? It hurt too much to keep trying. His heart hurt… Tears slowly filled his once bright eyes. Pathetic little Ryuichi…crying because he can't deal with a little pain. If only his fans could see him now. Who would care for him now?

Tohma glanced his friend's way, quietly observing him burying his face into his hands, trying to hide his tears. What was wrong? Whatever had made Ryuichi come back from his happy place in America, it was serious. Speeding up a bit, the blond intended to get them home so he could ask what was wrong…

***

Just how did I get myself into this position again? Tohma shifted the weight on his back. Ryuichi had fallen asleep in the car and knowing the stubborn man, it would not work to try and wake him. He frowned as he climbed up the stairs. Ryuichi was much lighter than he expected. It felt like he had been losing a great deal of weight. Just what exactly was he going through anyway? He was really suspicious now.

Finally managing to get the door open and Ryuichi laying comfortably on his bed, he smiled to himself. Ryuichi-san truly was very beautiful, looking much like an angel with a beautiful voice to match. How could the world dare harm him in any way? His best friend, the only one who could make him happy simply by standing next to him had been so far away, alone and hurt. He felt guilty knowing this.

"ToTo-san…" Ryuichi mumbled softly, opening his eyes sleepily. His head ached and his vision was a bit fuzzy. Clamping a hand over his forehead, Ryuichi sat up. "Uhn…"

"Go to sleep, Ryuichi-san," Tohma said, worriedly, attempting to push him back down. "You've had a little too much to drink."

"No…" the singer said, grabbing the arm that tried to lay him back down. "If I sleep now…I won't be able to talk to ToTo-san before…before… Please stay with me. Don't make me sleep yet."

Tohma reached out to touch the tear-streaked face. He didn't understand. Why was he crying? His tears fell just as easily as the snowflakes now. "Ryuichi-san…don't cry. I care about you very much. I won't go anywhere. You need some sleep."

"Do you really care about me? You wouldn't anymore if you knew… Are you kind to me because I'm your friend? Why don't you hate me?"

The words shocked him. How could he ask such a thing? Unable to find words for an answer, Tohma closed his eyes and pulled his friend into a gentle embrace. He may not understand what happened while he was away from Japan, but he could do whatever he could now to help him understand how much he was loved.

Ryuichi buried his face into the warm embrace. Lifting his head, he rest it in the nape of the blond's neck. How he missed the warmth of another person's arms, especially if they were Tohma's. He wasn't sure what possessed him when he titled his face upward to kiss the other gently. The damn alcohol must be taking over again, his inner mind told him.

Another wave of shock ran through the blond when Ryuichi brought his smooth lips up against his. Feeling his heart pound heavily, he kissed back, perhaps a bit too eagerly. Unknown love buried deep within the darkest corners of his heart were suddenly brought up again. Before he could control himself, his own tears began to spill over, a gentle, "I love you," rolling off his tongue.

"I don't deserve someone like you," the sweet voiced angel whispered, "but I can't help it…there's still this feeling in me. Please love me. I…I love you…too…"

With tears and a catch of a smile on his face, Ryuichi lay back on the bed, arms tightly around the one he loved. He continued to cry, even though soft kisses were planted on his neck and them meeting his lips for a long, sweet joining. He felt the warm arms down his body slowly. "I…T-Tohma…"

Pulling himself away for a moment, the blond studied the look on his face carefully. He felt so uncertain, and by the look on Ryuichi-san's face, he could tell that the other was a bit frightened. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Because…I love you…"

Eyes closed, Tohma lay back down on top of him to kiss his lips softly but sweetly. He would try, he really would. Ryuichi-san was his best friend and the person he loved most in the world. He silently prayed that the sinful act he was about to commit would not harm the delicate angel before him. "Ryuichi-san…"

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A/N: I feel very sad right now… *sighs* There *IS* a lemon next chapter, but I want to see if people like this fic or not o.o; Sometimes I think the things I write turn out kind of weird O_o; maybe people have been to nice to say something…or something @.@; Well, I hope you all enjoy it and leave reviews. *bows* Arigatou gozaimasu.