Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ The Disasters Brought By Free Time and Neglect ❯ 04 ( Chapter 4 )

Here we are already into the fourth chapter and I still don't know how the heck this story keeps running away and doing it's own thing. Oh well. I have to say I'm having a veritable cupful of fun, and I adore my reviewers. Thank you for being so kind, despite the fact that you're preventing me from having a life outside my computer. Also, Hiro's mad lockpicking skillz are revealed! On with the story!

 

Chapter 4

I could have cut the tension that had saturated the NG building the next morning with a knife. As I made my way to where Bad Luck usually held it's practices, I could see secretaries and interns literally diving to the left and right to avoid talking to me. I, of course, knew what all the commotion was about; ASK had dedicated a song to the lead singer of a band that was apparently the reason for their downfall. Even though I had been wrapped up in everything concerning Yuki at the time, I managed to read a few tabloids that featured ASK's disappearance, and even though they were way off on most of their facts, one thing was clear. ASK had broken up because of Shindou Shuichi. They would never know the true story, of that I had made sure, but the commotion ASK's dedication had caused would be all over the news by now. People probably assumed that the dedication was some joke at my expense; something meant to mock or damage me somehow, so I could barely hide a grin when I met up with Hiro, Suguru, and K.

K looked about ready to shoot something, but that's how he always looked, so I wasn't really worried. As an afterthought I made a mental note to myself to tell K not to kill any of the members of ASK, just in case he wanted to take the initiative and avenge my honor or something equally violent and stupid. Hiro looked like he was having a hard time keeping his mouth shut, and Suguru looked grim. Well, more grim than usual, anyway. We've got to get that kid on Ambien or something; he doesn't smile enough, and even when he does it looks kind of creepy. A bit like Tohma's smile, only Suguru seems a bit less likely to have you murdered. By that point I had figured out their game, and greeted them happily. They thought that I didn't know about ASK's comeback or their mysterious dedication, and they assumed that I'd break down the moment I found out, so an unaware Shuichi meant a happy Shuichi, and for K a happy Shuichi meant a productive Shuichi. I suppose I could understand that one. I had, after all, just come back from a six-week mental trip, and another one would mean that I'd have K after my head.

Speaking of K… I walked up to my card-holding NRA member friend and asked him bluntly if he was the reason Hiro had managed to break into my apartment a few weeks ago. K gave me his trademark grin and said he'd had people “keeping an eye on me” from the very beginning. I told him that he was kind of creepy sometimes and he laughed and called me a “rapscallion,” before playfully ruffling my hair. I made another mental note to find out what “rapscallion” meant, and then I asked him how Hiro managed to actually get in to my apartment. K merely hinted that while I was away, Hiro had shown himself quite adept at picking locks, and for lack of anything better to do, well, let's just say that not only can Hiro get his keys out of his car when he accidentally locks them inside (he and Ayaka bought one, but Hiro still prefers his motorcycle), but he can also defend his car from terrorist attack.

Hiro blushed crimson when I poked him and told him that people with kids as cute as Tomoko should NOT be crack shots and ride around on motorcycles, but he poked me back and said that lead singers of famous bands should have spelling and vocabulary levels above the third grade, which ultimately resulted in a poking fight that was only resolved when Suguru, of all people, grabbed K's gun and shot it at the both of us. I pouted at K and told him that it wasn't fair that he taught everyone how to be snipers while I was gone, at which point K told me that he hadn't taught Suguru how to shoot. Hiro and I backed slowly away from Suguru, and it was only when K fired off a few rounds that we got back to work, their discomfort over keeping the ASK dedication a secret completely forgotten. With all the firearms around here, I thanked my lucky stars that Sakano'd had the foresight to bulletproof the floor that K worked on.

We actually managed to work on the CD that day, and finished the fifth track to everyone's satisfaction, even Suguru's. Suguru's a great guy, I adore the heck out of him, but when it comes to music he's completely obsessed with being bigger than Tohma. He practices obscene hours to stay in peak condition, but I always wondered which he loved more, the music or the competition. I admit I love the competition, but not more than I love just singing. Even if I don't have an audience, there are times when I just sing at the top of my lungs to convey whatever I'm feeling at that moment. It used to drive Yuki completely bonkers when I did that while he was working, so I only started doing it again when I got my own place. There's just something about voice and pitch and tone that I love, and the poetry and emotion that can be conveyed through music moves me like nothing ever will. Plus I get this nice tingly feeling knowing that maybe somewhere out there someone's listening to my music and feeling exactly the way I was when I wrote the song, so we're somehow connected through my music. If anything, that's what I like most of all. I like singing for other people, connecting with them for one brief moment, where we both know exactly what we're feeling and we become a part of each other. One day I'm going to find all the right words and the right music and I'm going to sing something so beautiful that whoever hears it, no matter where they are, will just pause for a moment and listen, and in those brief moments they'll find the purest, most indescribable joy that they've ever felt. I know I'll probably never attain that perfection, but I'll keep trying as long as there's breath in my lungs and a song in my heart. I know that all sounds corny and idealistic, but I suppose there are a lot of things about me like that.

We worked so hard that day that we skipped lunch, so by quitting time I was starving. We had all completely forgotten about the ASK single by that point in the afternoon, so I was taken completely off guard when I stepped out of the NG building and was swarmed by reporters, all babbling questions at me at once. I could hear Hiro yelling something as I was dragged into the crowd, and Suguru was trying desperately to get to me, but it would be K that managed to get to me first and help me into a big black car, taking out a few media leeches with a tazer as we went along. He was fairly quiet for the long ride back to my apartment, before he turned to me and asked me if there was anything I wanted to talk to him about. I told him that I knew about the ASK dedication, and he told me he wasn't surprised, but that he appreciated the work I was putting in despite my personal problems. He also said that I'd handled Suguru and Hiro very well that day. I'd managed to impress him by acting so mature and putting everyone in such a good mood. K asked for my feelings on the matter, and inquired about anything he could do to help, absently stroking his holster all the while, and I told him that under no circumstances did he have my permission to shoot anyone, especially members of ASK, because I didn't want Bad Luck to have anything to do with them.

It wasn't technically a lie of course, I really didn't want Bad Luck to have anything to do with ASK because Suguru and Hiro had nothing to do with it, and as far as I was concerned there was no Bad Luck without either of them. This was just something I had started on my own, and something I was going to follow through with until the very end. I still felt kind of rotten for keeping things from K, but I wrote off my guilt, knowing full well that K would probably have a much better time finding out answers on his own. After we moved past K's concerns for my well being, we got into a deep conversation about what we were going to do now that we had rivals again, and it was evident that we were both pumped over finally having a rival worthy of Bad Luck. My plan was working precisely as I'd wanted, because once K decided that we'd have to work like maniacs to stay on top, he'd threaten the rest of us into giving 110%.

He dropped me off at my apartment building before ruffling my hair again, and then he told me to call him if I ever needed anything. It was weird that we'd known each other for so long, but for some reason it had taken me until that very moment to realize that K was not simply “Manager K, the gun-nut who forces me to work”, but he was also a friend. A really good friend, who we'd all become dependant on to get through days of being chased by fans and constantly having our personal lives disrupted and intruded upon. I was suddenly extremely grateful to him. He'd been away from his wife and child for months at a time for our sake, and we never really gave him anything in return. I paused before climbing back into the car and giving K a hug, which was really awkward because I could feel about twenty weapons concealed on his person, before I told him “thank you.” He asked me what that had been for, and I merely replied “everything.” I hopped back out before giving him a smile and a wave, and made my way into my building, a new jump in my step. It hadn't really occurred to me how very dear my friends were to me until right then, and I entered my apartment feeling very loved.

The media would just not give up for nearly two weeks after ASK's single debuted. I was actually quite pleased, if only for the fact that the media stir made sales skyrocket. They released their album a short time after that, and it was in the top ten within the first week. I had almost expected ASK to revert to their former cocky arrogance, but I was pleasantly surprised when they were modest about their success. I was even more impressed when the quiet, contemplative Aizawa I'd become accustomed to didn't change when he was in public. I accredited Taki's attitude to Ma-kun; the boy did wonders with Taki's personality, and I could tell that it was only through Taki's relationship with Ma-kun that he didn't kill himself all those years ago. It was also pretty obvious that Ma-kun adored everything about Taki, flaws and all. Of the three of them, I enjoyed talking to Ma-kun the most even though I probably had more in common with Taki. Ma-kun just seemed to breathe life into Ken and Aizawa, while still managing to keep everyone focused and grounded.

It suddenly became an unspoken rule around NG for everyone to stop talking when I entered a room, and every once in a while the uncomfortable silence around me got to be so humorous that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to laugh about it. Hiro and Suguru eventually got up the nerve to talk to me about how I was feeling, and after a while their incessant worrying made me snap. I chewed them out for worrying about something that I had told them repeatedly didn't bother me, and even though they probably didn't believe me, they dropped the subject. I do have to admit that I should have been damn convincing. I wasn't bouncing off the walls all the time, but I was always smiling and laughing, and since it really didn't bother me for obvious reasons, I must have been pretty convincing. Once things died down, it was business as usual, and we were ready to release our new album right before Christmas. It was at that point when all hell broke loose, as I'd earlier predicted, in the form of one Seguchi Tohma.

Apparently ASK had been giving a live interview and Ken had hinted at my involvement in ASK's comeback. Ma-kun had frozen, and it was obvious through their reactions that I was, in fact, involved. Then the interviewer had grilled the three of them about just what I'd been doing with ASK, and they'd gotten enough information from what ASK didn't say to blow everything wide open. The tabloids had a field day writing stories about how I was involved in strange love triangles and underhanded plots to overthrow NG records by using ASK to make a record company that was big enough to buy NG, so by that point all I could do was come up with a good story and pray to whatever God was listening that they bought it.

And buy it they did, luckily. I made a few statements about how crushed I was when Nittle Grasper retired and I had no rival to bring my music to the next level, so I'd forgiven ASK out of the goodness of my heart and helped them out. It wasn't complete bullshit, but it still left a bitter taste in the back of my throat. Hiro, K, and Suguru, however, were a different matter entirely. Hiro and K didn't actually speak to me for days, while I couldn't get Suguru to shut up about how I'd betrayed them all. I finally managed to get the three of them to listen to me, at which point I began telling them the real story. I'd been crushed when Yuki left me and I needed a distraction, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to move on until I faced the demons lurking on the surface of my mind, so I'd spoken to Aizawa, and I'd forgiven him enough to want him to go on with his career in music. It took me about three hours of answering their questions and concerns before they called me an idiot for not telling them sooner or at least discussing it beforehand, and then forgave me. Did I mention before how incredibly lucky I was to have friends as amazing as those three?

Once Hiro, K, and Suguru were back on my side, the controversy in the media didn't seem so overwhelming, and the scandal seemed to blow over almost overnight. I was working with Hiro and Suguru in one of the staff rooms revising my newest song a few days after the infamous ASK interview, when who should breeze through the door but Seguchi Tohma himself. He was wearing his murderer's smile, the one I'd seen on rare occasion when someone had pissed him off just enough to make him do something drastic, and his hat was tilted to the side, throwing his eyes into shadow. In that quiet little voice of his he requested a “private chat with Shindou-san” and before Hiro, who already looked panicked, and Suguru could protest, I cordially accepted his offer and stood up. His eyes narrowed the slightest fraction, and I could tell he was surprised that he no longer intimidated me, but he walked down the hall to a secluded lounge with the same cool composure that I'd come to associate with Tohma.

I draped myself over one of the spinney office chairs that adorned the room, and he took a seat across from me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I was prepared. I'd been expecting this conversation, and I was determined that for once in my pathetic life I was going to beat Tohma at his own game. I asked him how the baby was in a bright tone of voice, all smiles and sunshine, and he faltered. He answered curtly that the baby was “just fine,” at which point I grabbed the ball and ran with it, involving him in a conversation about how delighted I was to see Tohma acting so paternally, and that Mika absolutely glowed whenever I saw her. I told him about Hiro's own experiences with fatherhood, and at points in the conversation I actually forced Tohma into breaking his cold mask and smiling a genuine smile, mostly when I managed to get him to talk about little Eiri.

I talked to Tohma for about an hour, successfully distracting him by going off on tangents, before he finally stood up, mask in place, and told me he had something serious to discuss with me. I frowned and batted my eyes, before telling him how sad I was that he didn't think our conversation before was serious enough, and he scowled at me. He folded his hands neatly in his lap and I sat up, crossed my legs, and leaned back, preparing myself for anything he had to throw at me. He told me that he was very disappointed in me, and I told him that I was shocked that he could be disappointed in someone whom he'd never had faith in. His lips thinned and I shut up for a short while, letting him continue. He went on to tell me that he was completely disgusted with my behavior, and that it brought shame not only to myself, but to Hiro, Suguru, and K as well. He also mentioned the fact that what I was doing was sick and wrong, and then he “suggested” that I go seek psychiatric help for my fixation.

I was confused about the whole “fixation” thing, so I asked him what the fuck he meant by it. He blinked once, before switching to a tone that seemed to imply that I was Tomoko's age, and then told me that it was wrong for me to use ASK to dredge up bad memories, hurting Eiri just because he'd broken up with me. I stopped him then, completely stupefied. He honestly thought that bringing ASK back was some desperate ploy to remind Yuki that yes, he'd been raped before?! I looked him right in the eyes and told him that he was completely insane if he thought that this had anything to do with Yuki. Tohma rolled his eyes and told me that everything I did had something to do with Yuki, because I was obsessed with him. I spat back that the pot was most certainly calling the kettle black if that were the case, at which point he replied that he was only looking out for Eiri's well-being.

I rolled my eyes at that one, before telling him that he'd probably like nothing more than if Yuki had finally ended our relationship. He told me that it was Yuki's decision that mattered, so I replied that perhaps by “Yuki” he meant himself, since he'd been trying to govern Yuki's life since the day they'd met. I then applauded him at what a good job he'd done at that one, because Yuki was the most stable, reasonable, affectionate and functional human being I'd ever met. Tohma clenched his fists in rage before he regained his composure. He told me quietly that if I ever pulled a stunt like this one again, he'd have me “taken care of,” to which I replied that it was nice that little Eiri had a role model he could really look up to, and that when the kid grew up he'd solve all of his problems by having people either murdered or ruined, whichever was more convenient.

Tohma's eyes narrowed until he looked like a pissed off pit viper, and then told me not to involve his family with scum like me. It was nice to finally hear what Tohma really thought of me, without all his dancing around actual insults. With Tohma, it always takes you a while to realize you've actually been insulted, so I hoped I could enrage him enough to keep his vocabulary even with mine. I told him that I wasn't the one whose whole world revolved around Yuki, and for the fact of the matter, I was the one who'd left Yuki. Tohma glared at me and called me a liar, first of all because no one EVER breaks up with Yuki, secondly because I was obviously upset and deranged enough to go after him using my music connections, and thirdly because I was enough of a whiny little prick to annoy him to the point that he was now staying with Tohma.

That one caught me off guard. Yuki had… moved in with Tohma? What the hell was that all about?! Yuki hated intruding on other people, and he hated being away from his desolate little apartment. Why then, would he sink so low as to live with Tohma? I mean, it would be nigh-on impossible for Yuki to pick up women if he were staying with him, and if I knew Yuki, he'd probably be boozing it up, chain smoking, and sleeping with half the population of Tokyo now that I was out of the picture, at least before he settled down and found himself a sweet little wife. I put my anger on pause and asked Tohma what was up with Yuki living with him, and Tohma smirked and told me he'd even given up smoking. I laughed in his face at that one, before telling him that Yuki wouldn't give up smoking even if Gandhi went on a hunger strike specifically to get him to quit. I then told him that Yuki probably smoked outside and in the bathrooms with the vent on, and had an air-freshener that worked well enough to conceal the smell from him, because not even his precious little Eiri could keep Yuki from his cigs.

Tohma told me that I obviously didn't know Yuki as well as he did, so I asked him how long they'd been sleeping together. I then went on to inquire as to whether or not Mika knew, unless of course marrying her had been part of the plan all along, if only so that he could get to know Eiri. I should probably have taken note of just how rigid Tohma had become, or at exactly what point he'd stood up, but I have a habit of being slightly oblivious, so I just went on. I asked him what kind of father he was, and told him frankly that his kid would be as fucked up as the real Eiri if he grew up with a mommy and two daddies. While on that subject, I asked him whether or not his wife was in on the deal, and though I regret it now because I really do respect Mika, I told him that maybe he was the type to get off on having his wife spread her legs like a whore for her own brother.

I knew I'd crossed the line, hell, I was so far beyond the line that I couldn't even see it anymore, but all the little things that had always bothered me about Tohma suddenly bubbled up to the surface and I was too stupid to stop myself. There was a beat of silence when I ran out of things to say, before Tohma punched me as hard as he could square in the jaw. I imagine this little confrontation had been years in the making for Tohma, and if anything, I hope he finally got all that pent up violence out of his system. I vaguely remember what happened next, and most of it I had to find out later when I watched the tape that the security cameras took, because apparently Tohma beat the living shit out of me.

I was dazed from his first punch, but I had enough common sense to cover my face and pray to God he got a hold of himself. He didn't, of course, and instead he grabbed my by the roots of my pink hair and rammed my face repeatedly into the table and the wall, alternately. Somewhere in my little mind I chuckled at the thought that Tohma even had good rhythm when he was beating on someone, but that thought was quieted on account of the blood loss. He spent a good part of the next few minutes kicking and punching me in as many places as he could reach, but I never fought back, though even now I can't really fathom why. I mean, I could distinctly remember times in my career when I really, truly wanted to beat the hell out of Seguchi Tohma, and here I was blowing my chance. My barely-there resistance seemed to only piss him off further, and after a while he just started screaming at me, sometimes giving me a kick for good measure, before K and Hiro ran into the room and pulled the still kicking Tohma off of me.

I was impressed that Tohma still put up a fight after that. I mean, he seemed like such a little guy, but all those years of being pissed off by me and not being able to do a damn thing about it must have gotten to him. In the end, K had to give him a good slap to make him realize that “hey, you just beat Shindou Shuichi beyond recognition!” He went sort of limp after that, and couldn't look at what a mess he'd made of me when they dragged him out of the room and down to the security office. Hiro was by my side almost instantly, calling out to someone to go and call an ambulance or something. I tried to tell Hiro that I was fine and didn't want another scandal, but my nose was bleeding pretty badly and I couldn't talk. I must have passed out right after that, bleeding all over Hiro and over NG's pristine floors, all the while wondering how Yuki would react to his brother-in-law beating his former lover to death.