Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ This I Promise You ❯ An End of an Era ( Chapter 22 )

This I Promise You

Prequel to: Because of You

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

Story summary: Everybody assured him Rinjin Yasashii was just another obsessed fan with a crush and that there was nothing to worry about. Little did they know how wrong they all were.

Chapter summary: “I'm…leaving the music business. At least for now,” he quickly added. His hand fluttered to his stomach. “You see, it's not official, but…I think we're…we're going to have a baby.”

Warnings: M-preg, explicit sex, language

Key: [Blah] or Blah blah blah: flashback/dream

BLAH or Blah: stressed words

*: change in POV or time

 

***

 

Chapter 22: The End of an Era

 

 

Eiri walked out of his office reading his manuscript one last time before he sent it in to Mizuki as he headed to the kitchen to get a refill. Without pausing in his reading, the writer set his mug down on the countertop and filled the mug to the brim with the steaming dark liquid. He took a sip of the surprisingly still hot coffee and started back towards his office when he heard the front door open.

 

“Sir,” called Marcus as the giant of a man as he stepped into the living room. “Mr. Seguchi is here to see Mr. Shindou,” he informed the writer in his native tongue.

 

“Let him in,” Eiri sighed.

 

The American nodded and vanished as Eiri walked into the living room and tossed the manuscript of his latest story on the coffee table. Flopping down onto the couch, he removed his glasses and placed them on top of the thick volume of paper.

 

“Afternoon, Eiri,” the president smiled as he strolled into the apartment.

 

“What do you want, Seguchi?”

 

“I came to speak with Shindou-san. Is he here?”

 

“He's sleeping.”

 

Tohma raised an eyebrow. When Eiri did not elaborate or say anything further, he said, “I have a proposition for him. For Bad Luck actually.”

 

Eiri raised an eyebrow. “I thought you'd agreed to give them some time off.”

 

“I did, yes.”

 

“O-kay. Care to elaborate?”

 

Tohma shook his head, a smile on his face. “I would rather discuss it with Shindou-san present. That way, I do not have to repeat myself.”

 

Eiri snorted. “Can't have that, can we?” He stood and walked up the staircase to the master bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

 

Tohma settled himself down on the couch, folding his hands neatly in his lap. He heard the faint sound of his brother's-in-law speaking punctuated with Eiri's deep bass chuckle and Shuichi's high pitched giggle, but could not make out what they were saying. Several minutes passed before Eiri reappeared with his husband in tow.

 

Shuichi, in a pair of pink bunny pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt limped out of their bedroom and slowly made his way down the stairs, his cane held securely in one hand and his husbands in the other. Tohma was shocked to see how worn out the singer appeared.

 

“Good afternoon, Shindou-san,” Tohma greeted. “I apologize for waking you up.”

 

Shuichi yawned, scratching his head as he sat down on the couch. “It's okay. Eiri said it was time for me to get up and have breakfast anyway.”

 

“That would be lunch,” Eiri corrected.

 

“Huh?” Shuichi looked at him blankly.

 

“You slept through breakfast. It's now past noon. Lunch time.”

 

“Oh.” Shuichi blushed.

 

Tohma blinked in surprise. “You are just getting up? I assumed you were just taking a nap.”

 

Shuichi shook his head, blushing. He peeked at his husband and saw him give a small sharp shake of his head.

 

Tohma saw the exchange and grew curious.

 

“You have something to talk to me about?” Shuichi asked his boss.

 

“Yes, I do,” Tohma said snapping out of his thoughts. He perched on the edge of the seat and faced the singer. “I know we discussed you taking an extended leave of absence from singing.”

 

Shuichi nodded. They had discussed it soon after he woke from his coma. Tohma told him he could take as much time as he needed in order to recover. Shuichi had yet to talk to him and the rest of Bad Luck about his need to distance himself from the business, not because of this incident that almost left him paralyzed, but for him, for Eiri and for the family they wanted to start. Bad Luck has been going strong in one form or another for almost fifteen years and it was time to step back and just be Shindou Shuichi, husband, lover, son, best friend and not Shuichi Shindou Shuichi, lead singer of the hottest band in the world. The hard part was telling Hiro, Suguru, Michael, Kai and Kei.

 

“I am not asking you to return to work,” Tohma was saying. “But we have been getting hundreds of inquiries each day asking about how you're doing and when is Bad Luck going to perform again and such. I would like you to release a statement to the press. Maybe do one or two interviews. Just to inform your fans that you are indeed alive and well.”

 

Shuichi nodded. That was the least he could do. In the five months since the accident, he has gotten thousands of cards from fans wishing him to get well soon. They had been very worried about him and the least he could do was thank them for all their concern and prayers and well wishes. “Alright. I can do that.”

 

“Wonderful!” Tohma clapped his hands together. “There is another thing I would like to discuss with you this afternoon, but before you say anything, here me out.”

 

Shuichi nodded despite the bad feeling he was getting.

 

“I received a call from the president of the Music Channel and he wanted Nittle Grasper as their surprise guest on the Music Channel Video Music Awards this year.”

 

“Really? That's great!”

 

“I turned them down-”

 

“What,” Shuichi cried in shock. Why the hell would Tohma Seguchi turn something like that down?

 

Even Eiri was shocked his brother-in-law had done something like that. He might not be as outgoing and carefree as his husband, but he did know that the MCVMA's was the biggest award show. It was the only award show where the winners were chosen based solely by their fans. It was an award show geared towards the young people, who buy the majority of the music.

 

“-and offered the position to you.”

 

Shuichi blinked. “T-to me? I don't understand.”

 

“What I'm saying, Shindou-san is this; Bad Luck has the guest appearance on the hottest award show in Japan. This will be the first time you have performed in over a year, the first time you've been seen in public since the accident. Nobody knows who the special guests are except for a very select few. With everything that has happened, nobody would ever guess the guests would be you. If we were to hold back those press statements and interviews until after the show, it would be even more of a surprise when that curtain rises.” Tohma searched the singer's face and saw the eagerness, the anticipation, the fire and desire burning away in them. But he also saw something else. Fear. “You do not have to do this. I am not forcing you and I will not hold it against you. If you are not ready, that is fine.”

 

To be the special guests on the Music Channel Video Music Award show would be the greatest thing in the world. He has been hearing some rumors that he was permanently paralyzed, that the concussion left him brain dead, or unable to sing, or mute and blind. There were dozens of such rumors floating around. A lot of people and so-called experts have been saying that a fall like the one he took should have left him blah, blah. His x-rays show blah. Everyone had been saying Shindou Shuichi was as good as dead and that Bad Luck was finished. They had completely written them off. Well, he could not let these falsehoods continue. This performance could be his way of thanking all the fans for their support and to let everyone know while he was far from back to normal, he was far from finished.

 

“The only thing is…the show is only two weeks away,” Tohma added.

 

Eiri head snapped around. He glared at his brother-in-law. “Two weeks?” It was bad enough Tohma wanted his husband to perform so soon after the accident, but now the guys had only two weeks to come up with and perfect a stage show? He did not like any of this. He could not allow Shuichi to do this. It was too soon. “Seguchi-“

 

“I know. I know.” Tohma patted the air with his gloved hand. “You would have a lot to do in such a short amount of time, Shindou-san. That's why I was not-“

 

“We'll do it.”

 

“What?!” Eiri rounded on his husband. “Shindou Shuichi -!”

 

Shuichi threw his husband a reassuring smile. He saw the concern on his face and knew what he was thinking. “This could be Bad Luck's…farewell performance.”

 

Tohma's smile falter. “Farewell performance? Shindou-san, surely your brief hiatus-“

 

“No, Seguchi-san.” Shuichi shook his head with a sad smile. It was now or never. He glanced at his husband. They linked hands, twining their fingers together. He took a deep breath and plunged forward. “I'm…leaving the music business. At least for now,” he quickly added. His hand fluttered to his stomach. “You see, it's not official, but…I think we're…we're going to have a baby.”

 

The president of the biggest record label in the country was stunned into silence. His eyes bugged out of his head and his jaw dropped to the floor. “What!?”

 

*

 

“It's something that I've been wrestling with ever since our last tour ended.” Shuichi shook his head and heaved a heavy sigh. “You all know I was firmly set against this album. That didn't change just because I agreed to do it.”

 

Suguru spoke up. “But it's gone Platinum sev-“

 

Shuichi shook his statement aside. “Forever Yours could go diamond tomorrow and it would not change the fact that I hated doing it.”

 

“Why?” Hiro asked his best friend. He slid to the edge of the couch and stared, feeling confused, at his best friend who was gazing out over the balcony. “I don't understand, Shu.”

 

“You guys don't know this, but I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.” Gasps, whispers and cries of shock and disbelief followed this statement. Shuichi ignored it all and plunged on ahead before he lost his nerve. “It was easier then I thought it would be to hide my breakdown from you guys. I was surprised none of you noticed.” Actually, he was not that surprised. They all had their own lives now, wives, girlfriends, children…They could not keep on looking after him. “That day,” he continued, “I was heading into the studio to tell you that I had had enough, that I needed a break. In the event that you denied me my request, I…I was ready to quit.”

 

“What,” they all shouted.

 

“You're kidding!”

 

“No way.”

 

“I don't believe it.”

 

“Shu-“

 

“Though, that would have broken my heart to do so,” Shuichi admitted truthfully.

 

The living room was filled the heavy silence. Each person was lost in their own world of confusion and bewilderment.

 

“When K was our manager, he never gave us a moment's peace. It was always GOGOGO!” Shuichi emphasized the last by pounding his fist in his hands. He heaved a sigh. “I understand why he did it. He wanted us to get our name out there. He wanted us to be the biggest in the music business. Hell, I wanted that too! But as time went by, it just got worse. The pressure to be bigger than the last time, to outdo what we achieved before. He put us on every show, gave us a gig almost every single night! There was always a show we had to do. We were always doing a week stint here; two weeks there…It just did not end! He never gave us a break. Never! To him, it was to hell with your families and significant others. Forget the holidays and having any semblance of a normal life. We were to live, breath, eat and dream Bad Luck.”

 

Shuichi shook his head.

 

“He was the world's biggest work alcoholic and he expected us to be as well. “When he left, I thought, `Finally! Some peace!' But nothing changed. It was still GOGOGO! For the past ten years it's been the same damn thing.”

 

Shuichi felt his anger beginning to take over him, pushing aside the melancholy. He was not sure who he was mad at.

 

“Rush through an album, promote the hell out of it, tour until my voice's shot and I'm mentally and physically exhausted and then tour some more. Come home, rest for a week- longer if we're lucky- and then start all over again.” Shuichi turned around, tears running down his face. His anger suddenly evaporated, leaving only the despair and the sadness. “I can't do that anymore! I can't!”

 

This was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. Tohma Seguchi had taken it well, after getting over the shock. He had also understood. He pointed out that even Nittle Grasper had taken several vacations through their long careers. It was something everyone had to do occasionally. You had to slow down. You had to take a break away from it all. Otherwise, you ended up burning out.

 

“Singing is what you do. It is not who you are,” Tohma said.

 

“I love you guys. You're my best friends, my family. But I can't do this anymore.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his mouth. “I've been struggling with this decision even before I was forced into doing this last album. I knew what I had to do, but I…I didn't want to let you down! I was fading rapidly, but still…I had to at least try to make it to the end. We were almost finished, but…” Shuichi shook his head. But then I got pregnant, he added silently. The unexpected pregnancy just made it all that much worse. “I'm sorry. I really am, but this is just something I have to do.” He face scrunched up as a renewed surge of sadness welled up inside of him. “Bad Luck is my life,” he sobbed. “Without it, I have nothing! But-”

 

Kai smiled at his cousin. “It's alright, Shuichi.”

 

“Take as much time as you need,” Kei agreed.

 

Shuichi sniffed and stared at the twins in awe.

 

“Besides, we have a little side project we've been working on,” Kai explained.

 

“I've, uh, been thinking about going home,” Michael spoke up. “It's been awhile since I've seen my family and I want…I want my children to see where I'm from, ya know? Besides, my folks want to be there when Anzu has the baby.” He shrugged. “This's actually pretty good timing.” He smiled at Shuichi. “Like Kai and Kei said, do what you must. The last thing we need is for you to collapse from exhaustion, or something.”

 

“Thank you, Michael.”

 

Hiro sighed. “Well, I must admit, it has been good to spend time with my wife and son. If we were to go back into the studio full force, or hell, even half force…” He shook his head his head. “If I was still single, it wouldn't bother me as much, but I have a family now, so…” He lifted his head and smiled at his front man. “Alright, Shu. To tell you the truth, I think we've been long due a little r and r.”

 

One by one, the others swept their gaze towards the manager and synth player. They all waited with bated breath. Suguru really did not like the idea of them taking any amount of time off. It would just be that much harder to rise to the top when they came back. Like Shuichi, Bad Luck was his life. Without it, he felt as if he had nothing, that he was nothing, but one look at Shuichi and he knew that it had to be done. He saw the exhaustion, the strain. And as much as he tried to ignore it, he felt the same weariness in his bones. He sighed noisily. “Just promise me that we'll have one last gig, or something? A small tour, anything! Some sort of farewell performance.”

 

Shuichi smiled brightly at the man. “Actually-“

 

All eyes swept towards the purple haired singer.

 

“Tohma came to see me yesterday afternoon and he wants us to be the special guests on the MCVMA's.”

 

Silence greeted this announcement. Then like an explosion, the other members of Bad Luck began celebrating their good fortune.

 

Hiro came twirling towards him. “Tell me this isn't some sort of bad joke!”

 

Shuichi, grinning like a madman, shook his head.

 

“Yes!” He jumped Suguru, laughing.

 

He hated to be the bearer of bad news, but…“We have two weeks,” he shouted over the noise.

 

The noise died down as if a button had been pushed.

 

“What!” Suguru demanded, twirling around, Hiro still on his back.

 

Shuichi blushed. “The, uh, award show is in two weeks and it's live.”

 

As screams of disbelief echoed throughout the apartment, Shuichi saw Marcus enter, his hand on the butt of his gun. The singer caught his eye and shook his head, waving him back. Marcus nodded and retreated.

 

Shuichi turned back towards the others, the corner of his mouth tilted in a smile. Just because Bad Luck was officially disbanding did not mean they had to stop being friends, but it was the end of an era and it made Shuichi strangely sad.

 

*

 

“Take care, Shu,” Hiro said, hugging his best friend a few hours later. “See ya at the studio in the morning,” he said, walking down the hall towards the elevator where the others were waiting.

 

“Bye, Hiro. Bye, guys!” Shuichi kept waving until the elevator doors closed. He then walked back into the apartment and shutting the door behind him, leaned against the door and sighed heavily. They had two weeks before the award show. What the bloody hell had he been thinking agreeing to this?

 

Pushing away from the door, he limped through the living room to the stereo. He ran his fingers along the hundreds of CD's that lined the shelves. A great deal of them were Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck CD's. His fingers stopped over “The “Rage Beat” CD single. Pulling it out, he flipped it over and read the back. There was the original version with his musical arrangement, the version with the souped up arrangement by Suguru. Then there were several remix versions. One was the “zoom mix”, another “the last element mix”. The others were various club mixes.

 

A plan began to formulate in his head.

 

“This might work,” he muttered to himself, nodding. “All I need is to pick the final song.” He snorted, shaking his head. “Pick a song, any song! You only have about forty singles to choose from.”

 

“They say-“

 

Startled, Shuichi gasped and twirled around. With his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face, was Eiri.

 

“-talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence.” Eiri snorted. “But in your case, I think it's a sign of derision.”

 

“Dammit, Eiri,” Shuichi snapped, a hand over his pounding heart. “You scared the shit out of me!”

 

Chuckling, the writer pushed away from the wall and crossed the room. He kissed his husband and flopped down onto the couch. “How'd it go?”

 

“They took the news better than I thought they would.”

 

“Baka. I told you they would.”

 

“Uhm.” Shuichi shrugged. “It did look as if Suguru was going to argue, but he gave in. They all said to take my time and do what I have to. Besides,” Shuichi sat down on the couch, folding his legs underneath him, “Kei and Kai said they have a side project they've been working on. Hiro wants to spend more time with Ayaka-san and Kaza-kun and Michael wants to head back to the States and see his family.”

 

Eiri nodded. “And Fujisaki?”

 

Shuichi shrugged. “No idea. He didn't say, but he's very talented. There're lots of bands he could help. As a music arranger or even as a manager.”

 

“Hm.” That was true. Eiri took in the CD in Shuichi's hand. “What were you doing when I came in?”

 

“Huh? Oh! Trying to figure out which songs to use in our performance.”

 

“Decide on anything?”

 

“Hm. Sorta. I was thinking of starting with an instrumental version of `The Rage Beat' and then a second song, but I can't figure out which one to use.”

 

“Hm.” Eiri stood up and walked over to the CD shelving unit. His eyes roved over the music store that had somehow managed to relocate in their living room. He really had to go through them one of these days, preferably when Shuichi was not home.

 

“I thought it would be ironic to use `The Rage Beat', ya know? It was the song that introduced us to the world and the song that we'll use to say goodbye.” Shuichi swallowed over a sudden lump in his throat. “For the other song, I was thinking about `Jounetsu Ballad', `Masking Pleasure Around' or `Spicy Marmalade', but I don't know. I want something really fun and upbeat. Something to dance to.”

 

Eiri snorted. That narrowed it down. He slid a CD off the shelf and tossed it to Shuichi.

 

Shuichi blinked at the choice. “'Spicy Marmalade',” he read. He tapped the CD case against his chin. The other one beat a rhythm against his knee. The plan that had started formulating earlier picked up speed. “This might work.” He looked up when a shadow fell upon him. “Uh? Eiri? Wha…?”

 

The writer grabbed the CD's out of his husband's hands and set them on the coffee table behind him. He knelt on the edge of the couch and leaned over Shuichi, a hand on the back of the couch, as the singer reclined back. Eiri captured his husband's lips and kissed him passionately. Shuichi melted into the kiss and encircled Eiri's neck with his arms, pulling the man closer as the kiss deepened. Shuichi bent his legs and parted them automatically so that Eiri could settle between them, lying himself on top of the smaller man. The blond writer pried open Shuichi's mouth with his tongue, slipping it inside as he unbuttoned Shuichi's shirt and flung it open. He felt the reaction he was searching for immediately as his husband's arousal poked into him.

 

Their tongues battled, chasing each other from one damp cavern to another. The match ended in a draw and an erotic, sensual dance began. Eiri trailed kisses along Shuichi's jaw and down to his neck where he suckled like a baby at its mama's tit. He had a strong inclination to once again to leave his mark so he did so

 

Shuichi “mmm'ed”, his fingers tangling themselves in Eiri's soft, blond locks. Eiri's hands trailed softly down Shuichi's chest. The singer gasped when his husband tweaked his nipples. He trailed his hands down Eiri's back and tugged his shirt out of his pants. He slipped his hands down the front of Eiri's shirt until his fingers hit something hard. Blindly, he unbuckled the belt and slid it from the loops, tossing it onto the coffee table. He then undid the button and tugged the zipper down. He reached inside and squeezed the hard length he found within. Eiri flung his head back and hissed with a shudder. Panting as heavily as his singer husband, Eiri captured Shuichi's lips and ravished his mouth as he groped the hard lump that lay pressed against his own freed cock. One hand captured Shuichi's small wrists and held them above his head while the other one groped him through the thin cotton. Shuichi flung his head back. His gasp turned into long breathy moans as Eiri squeezed him, massaging him expertly.

 

“Eiri,” Shuichi cried out breathlessly.

 

Sitting up, Eiri grabbed the waistband of Shuichi's sweatpants and tugged off the offending material, tossing them aside. He gazed down at the naked man beneath him. His breath hitched and he licked his lips, feeling himself getting harder at the glorious sight. “You're so beautiful, Shu-chan.”

 

A hot blush flushed across Shuichi's face.

 

He noticed Shuichi had noticeably put on some weight, especially around the middle, but that just made the singer even more gorgeous in his eye. He wondered why he had noticed before. Eiri leaned down and planted a chaste kiss on the man's swelling stomach. He rolled his eyes up and gazed into the teary eyes of his husband.

 

Crawling up the man, Eiri plundered his husband's mouth, kissing him like he wanted to eat him. Shuichi did not like it when they did this dry, but it never stayed dry for very long. Natural lube was what they used. Shuichi gasped into Eiri's mouth as he felt his husband's cock at his anus. He groaned, hissing as the large invader was pushed in. Eiri grabbed the narrow hips and pressed inside one tight inch at a time until he was fully sheathed inside, tearing moan filled cries out of the man pinned underneath him. Pulling himself out, Eiri then thrust back in. He rocked his hips, setting up a steady pace, quickening as his own excitement lubed the tight passage squeezing his dick.

 

Shuichi tossed his head back, arched his back and cried out. His hands spasmed on Eiri's shoulders. “Oh, God, Eiri!”

 

Eiri buried his face against his husband's neck, grunting and he thrust inside of his husband repeatedly, feeling the pressure building as they rose higher and higher. Finally, they reached the crest and the pressure exploded like a balloon popping. Both men cried out as the orgasm hit them.

 

Panting, Eiri pulled out and collapsed besides the man, cradling him tightly against him. He kissed the top of Shuichi's head and sighed. “I love you, Shu.”

 

Shuichi tipped his head back and was met with a soft, chaste kiss. “I know.”

 

Eiri sighed and thought about the performance Shuichi had to do in two weeks. He was nervous about the whole thing. Was he ready to do something like that? The baka could go without his cane for short periods, but he got so tired so easily these days. He was not sure if he should let Shuichi go through with this. “Be careful, alright? I don't want you doing anything strenuous. Understand?”

 

Grinning, Shuichi flipped over and straddled Eiri. “Are you concerned about me?” he teased.

 

Eiri snorted and held Shuichi's hips. “Hell no. I'm worried about our son.”

 

Shuichi chuckled and snuggled on top of his husband. “Liar.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Sighing contently, Shuichi closed his eyes. “Love you,” he whispered as he fell asleep.

 

“I love you, too,” Eiri whispered back.

 

***

 

A/N: I modeled the Music Channel Video Music Awards on the MTV Video Music Awards. Did any of you catch that?