Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Watching You ❯ Watching You ( Chapter 1 )

Watching You

 

It hurts, sometimes, to watch you. To see the smiles, the laughter, the touches and know they're not for me.

 

I want to scream and shout. To do anything in my power to make you stop, to return your attention to me, to make the hurt go away. To make THEM go away.

 

I dream of you, but dreams are all I can have of you. The reality isn't mine, that's always revered for someone else. But I still watch you, because I can't turn away. I can smile and laugh and hide the pain deep inside, but it's still there. It's deep inside me, burning, tearing, churning through my stomach and veins.

 

I would give up everything for you. Everything I am, everything I have. I would give it all up, if only you asked. I would give it up to be the one you smiled at, the one you touched.

 

I would give it up, for one night, one chance, even if it was forgotten in time, a foggy memory of something that may have happened. Even if I'm just one amongst the many you hold in your arms at night.

 

I love you, and you know that, but neither of us can change the way reality is, and I can't make you love me, just as you can't make me stop.

 

So I will have to keep smiling, keep hiding, keep watching and keep hoping. Just as I'll have to keep lying to your smiling eyes, pretending nothing is wrong and giving you all the love and support you need, while I fade away inside, eaten away by my own pain.