Gundam Seed Destiny Fan Fiction / Gundam SEED Fan Fiction ❯ Light of the Heart ❯ fading emotions ( Chapter 4 )

Lacus groaned as her eyes opened the next morning. Her sleep that night had been very restless as thoughts of the young father kept coming to her mind. `Never in my life has anyone affected me like this,' she thought running her hand through her messy, silky pink hair.

 

Lacus felt very tempted to just call in sick and try and get some sleep but another part of her mind wanted her to go in hopes of seeing the violet eyed man once again. She immediately shook the thoughts from her head though.

 

Standing up, Lacus immediately started to get ready for work. She figured it was pointless to stay here and try to sleep because she probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyways.

 

`I met him once and I can't get him out of my mind. Why can't I stop thinking about him?' she mentally asked herself as she took off her clothes and got into the shower and started to enjoy the feeling of the warm water hitting her tired body.

 

Getting out of the shower, Lacus wrapped a towel around her body as she dried her long hair. She stopped though when she looked in the mirror at her reflection and took in her appearance. She wasn't sure why she did this. She never was one to care about what other people thought of her appearance anyways.

 

Tearing her eyes away from the mirror, Lacus finished drying herself off and walked back into her room. She pulled out her outfit that she wanted to wear for the day and put it on before running a brush through her hair and finished by placing in her crescent moon hairclip which was something that was given to her by her mother.

 

Looking at her final appearance, Lacus smiled thinking that she liked how she looked right then. She then walked out of her room and walked over to grab her purse before she left and headed towards her car.

 

It wasn't long before she was pulling up to the small preschool that she'd been working at for a while. She parked her car and got out and walked inside to be greeted by Alice who was doing her normal routine for the day. “Good morning Alice,” she said giving a friendly smile as she walked up to the desk.

 

Alice's eyes looked up from the book she was reading and she smiled. “What's the occasion?” she asked which only got a confused look from Lacus. “You're dressed up a lot nicer than usual and you seem to have a glow about you,” she said looking Lacus up and down.

 

Looking down at her outfit, Lacus couldn't help but notice that it was a bit nicer than what she would normally wear. A flash of Kira's face went through her mind but she shook it off. “Of course not. I just grabbed the first thing I could find this morning,” Lacus said giving a nervous laugh since she actually spent a little while searching for something to wear.

 

“Looks to me like you're trying to impress someone,” the older woman said looking really amused with the situation. She saw Lacus blush a bit at her words but the rapidly shook her head. “I guess I was wrong then,” she said hardly being convinced but she knew Lacus wasn't going to say anything.

 

“Yep,” Lacus said smiling before walking towards the back room where the few children that were already there were. She didn't even make it to the door though before the front door swung open and she was nearly knocked over by someone latching onto her legs.

 

Looking down, Lacus saw the familiar brown hair of the little girl she had grown rather fond of. “Miss Lacus!” Midori yelled happily as she hugged the older woman's legs. She looked up at Lacus's face and gave a bright smile.

 

“If you keep doing that everyday then I could end up getting hurt,” Lacus said since she had almost been knocked over two days in a row and wanted to avoid any injuries. She saw Midori pout and put a smile on her face. “Just be a bit more careful next time,” she continued making Midori's pout immediately got turned into a bright smile before she finally let go of Lacus's legs.

 

“Now why don't you go into the room and play with the rest of the kids?” Lacus asked and Midori hesitantly nodded before scurrying out of the room leaving only 3 people left; Lacus, Alice, and the object of Lacus's constant thoughts Kira.

 

Lacus looked into Kira's eyes and it was suddenly like Alice wasn't even there. “Good morning Kira,” she said giving him a bright smile despite how flustered she was feeling right then.

 

A light blush crossed Kira's face as he looked into the pure and innocent eyes of the woman who just wouldn't leave his mind. He continued to refuse to believe that these things he had been feeling around her meant anything though. He'd gone through enough in the romance department and didn't want to get involved like that again.

 

“G-good morning,” he somehow managed to mutter out as he just stared into her clear blue eyes. They had this strange effect on him that made him feel like it would be impossible to tear his eyes away from hers.

 

It was silent for a while after that as the two of them just stared at one another. Alice couldn't help but look between the two of them. A small grin spread across her aging lips as she noticed the looks that they were probably unknowingly giving one another.

 

A light blush spread across Lacus's face at the intensity in which Kira was looking at her. It sent this warm feeling swarming through her stomach. It was almost as if he was looking into her soul and finding out everything about her.

 

Snapping out of his trance, Kira shook his head to get rid of the thought he was having. “I should get going. I'll try not to be late again,” he said before stepping backwards towards the door before leaving.

 

A small chuckle escaped Alice's throat. “Can't keep your eyes off him, can you?” she started teasing Lacus when she noticed Lacus was still staring at the door. She only laughed more when Lacus jumped as if remembering that the older woman was still there.

 

“Huh? Well… no. Not really,” Lacus stuttered trying to deny it when she knew that what Alice was saying was the truth. There was something about Kira Yamato that fascinated her more than anyone else she ever met.

 

Alice saw right through her little lie. She now understood why it looked like Lacus was dressing a lot nicer than usual. She must've subconsciously wanted to impress Kira since it was obvious that she liked him already.

 

“I… um… I have to… look after the kids,” Lacus muttered as she turned and all but ran out of the room. She knew exactly what Alice was thinking and didn't really feel like getting into the subject. `I don't like Kira like that, do I?'

 

*****

 

A young woman groaned in annoyance as she slammed a pen down upon the desk in front of her. `Why does she keep refusing? It's not like she does anything with the company anyways!' the red head silently scream at her latest failed attempting of taking over Clyne Enterprises.

 

One of her hands came up and started to rub at the migraine that was already starting to form despite how early in the day it was. She thought that with the death of Siegel Clyne that the company would be easy to take over but it had been anything but that with each attempt she made.

 

A knock on the door came and a growl escaped the woman's throat. “What the hell do you want?!” she yelled out already annoyed with the person, even though she didn't know who it was, for disrupting her planning.

 

Whoever it was on the other side of the door was obviously hesitating showing their face for fear of suffering their boss's wrath since the door had yet to open or even try and speak to her. It was several moments much to the red head's annoyance before the door opened and a scared young lady came walking into the room. “Excuse me Miss. Allster but I have those documents you were asking about,” the woman timidly said as she approached Fllay Allster.

 

Fllay Allster was many things. She was selfish, greedy, spoiled rotten by her parents and felt that the world should bow at her feet. Not to mention that she was very impatient. “About damn time! I ought to lessen your pay for making me wait so long!” she yelled at the woman who quickly dropped the documents on the table and then ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were after her.

 

`Why am I surrounded by such incompetent people?' she mentally yelled as she grabbed the document and looked through them and then growled. “This is no good!” she growled throwing the documents on the desk as hard as she could.

 

Her hand once again came up to her head and started to rub her head. She could remember a time when everything she ever wanted was given to her so easily. She really wished it would be that easy now. `Maybe then I can get back what was taken from me,' she thought thinking of the violet eyed brunette that she dated several years ago.

 

`Things would've been so much easier now if that one bitch didn't steal him from me because of that bastard little girl. I would've not only had my family's company but his as well. But now he barely talks to me,' she thought remembering her last encounter with him where he did his best just to ignore her.

 

`No matter. I know how he truly feels. His eyes never could hide the truth. It's only a matter of time before he comes crawling back to me. I will be waiting for him with open arms and a ticket to send the brat to some boarding school a few hundred miles away,' she thought as a laugh started to escape from her throat.

 

She could still remember the day that her life turned upside down. The day that her grip on everything started to slip and she ended up losing probably the biggest fortune that she'd ever get her hands upon.

 

***Flashback***

 

The day truly seemed like it was blessing Fllay as she drove her very expensive car down the road to the apartment that her boyfriend of nearly three years lived in. She was nineteen years old and heir to a vast business empire that her family had owned for many generations.

 

Despite a nasty spat that the two of them had several months ago, she felt like everything was going her way. She knew that it would only be a matter of time before he finally proposed to her giving her the company that Kira had acquired from his biological father.

 

That was two years ago when he first turned eighteen. Fllay already knew about that long before even Kira did. That was the only reason she ever said she would go on a date with him or even become his girlfriend.

 

Fllay never did anything for no reason. There was always something working behind the decisions she made and she just knew that this was a sure thing. Someone like Kira was very smart but very easy to manipulate because he was very emotional. She'd play the loyal girlfriend for now and then take everything that she could after they got married.

 

Fllay had just gotten back from a two week long business trip that her father forced her to go on. She was to head too many of the different office buildings they had around the world and learn from the many people that worked there. She found the entire experience extremely boring though and was glad that she didn't have to go through anymore of it for now.

 

Pulling into the ever familiar lot of the apartment building, Fllay parked the car and immediately got out. She winced at the sight of places that she would deem to be too insignificant for a woman of her stature. It was unfortunate that she could never talk Kira into moving out of the place when he first inherited all of his money. He explained at the time that he liked that place despite it being small.

 

Just as Fllay was about to walk to the apartment that Kira owned, she immediately took notice of a moving truck stationed in the front of the place. Many boxes were being hauled all over the place by many different moving men. She couldn't tell if it was someone moving in or out but frankly she just didn't give a damn about poor people.

 

As Fllay got closer to Kira's place, the more she noticed that the mess seemed to be coming from there. “What's going on?” she asked herself remembering that Kira never mentioned moving. Sure, she was glad that she'd never have to come back to this rotten dump but it still confused her why Kira never talked about it to her.

 

Before Fllay could even reach Kira's room she heard his voice coming from the direction of the manager's room. She got curious and followed the voice until she saw Kira standing at the door. She immediately hid in order to listen and find out what exactly was going on.

 

“I'm sorry that this is such short notice sir but I was really taken by surprise about it as well. I just find that I can't stay in my small apartment anymore,” Kira said to the middle aged man that was standing on the other side of the door.

 

“Don't worry about it too much Kira. You just do what you need to do. I can completely understand what you're going through and hope that the two of you will be very happy wherever it is that you are going to,” the man replied with a smile as Kira nodded and the two of them shook hands. “By the way, how are you going to tell that young woman you're always with?”

 

This immediately peaked Fllay's interest as she listened in even hard for what would be said next. It was silent for a few moments before Kira finally spoke. “I don't know. I guess I'll just have to wait until she gets back before I break the news to her. Anyways, I just want to say goodbye one more time,” he said and the man did the same before Kira started to walk down the hallway in Fllay's direction.

 

Turning the corner, Kira jumped when he noticed that Fllay was standing there giving him a bit of an accusing look. “Fllay! I thought you weren't supposed to be back until tonight! I was actually about to get ready to head to the airport!” he yelled in surprise at seeing his girlfriend standing there.

 

“I got an early plane so that I could see you earlier but I can see that you had other plans,” she said looking over a balcony and to the moving truck. A pout spread across her face because she knew he'd feel guiltier about not saying anything to her if she did this to him. “Why didn't you tell me you were moving?”

 

“I… uh… wanted to tell you when you got back,” Kira said hesitantly which all but proved to Fllay that there was much more to what he was saying than he was letting on, especially since he looked so guilty about something.

 

Fllay's eyes narrowed slightly at Kira's words. “You're hiding something from me,” she said in a dangerously low voice that made Kira flinch slightly. He knew she was getting annoyed and that was something he usually tried to avoid.

 

“Fine, come on. You might want to sit down first,” he said and a sense of panic swept through the woman as bad thoughts started to appear in her head. She had a really bad feeling about what he was going to say but still followed him back to the messy apartment.

 

Almost immediately after they walked into the nearly empty apartment Fllay got to the point. “Tell me what is going on Kira! I know something is going on!” she yelled angry that Kira was keeping something from her.

 

Just as Kira was about to speak, Fllay remembered the words of the apartment manager and decided to speak. “Are you nervous because you want to ask me to move in with you?” she asked seductively figuring that could be the only reason the manager mentioned two people moving there. “Well you know I'm rather picky about where I live and…” she started but ended up being cut off by Kira.

 

Not wanting her to get the wrong idea about the whole situation, Kira just decided to stop her before she went any further. “I'm not,” Kira responded quietly as he tried to search for the right way to tell her the news.

 

“What do you mean?!” Fllay yelled feeling very insulted that what she thought wasn't the case. “That man said that you were going to be moving in with someone else! So why isn't that person me?!” she continued to yell much to Kira's annoyance.

 

“Please stop yelling Fllay,” Kira said softly as he started to work further into the room. “He's right though. I am moving in with someone else. Someone very important to me,” he said sounding very fond of the person.

 

Those were far from being the words that Fllay wanted to hear at that moment. Not to mention that to her it sounded as if he was cheating on her. “Who can possibly be more important in your life than me?! You're cheating on me, aren't you?!” she yelled with a look that made Kira feel like it would burn holes right through him.

 

Kira was thinking very carefully how to word this because either way he knew Fllay would be just as angry, maybe even more angry, with him for what he was about to say. “I am moving in with a woman, my daughter,” Kira finally managed to say before a deep silence fell around the room.

 

Fllay's mind was working in overdrive to figure out just what the hell was going on. “W-what do you mean?” she silently asked in shock refusing to believe that what she just heard might actually be what he said. All of a sudden Fllay started to laugh. “Oh that's a good one Kira. A daughter? Not a chance,” Fllay continued to laugh as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Now what is really going on Kira?” Fllay asked still looking amused.

 

“This is no joke Fllay. I found out recently that I had a daughter. Her mother is incapable of taking care of her so I took her in. I bought a house so that the two of us could live together since this place simply isn't big enough,” Kira said looking more serious than he had ever been in his life.

 

It was silent as Fllay once again processed the information Kira was giving her. “Stop joking around Kira because this isn't funny,” Fllay muttered looking at Kira as if he had suddenly sprouted two heads.

 

“I'm not joking and you need to accept that,” Kira said quietly looking anywhere but at Fllay. He hated having to be the bearer of bad news but he knew she would've found out eventually and he'd rather it be by him.

 

“You're not joking?” Fllay asked looking terrified. “Then you really did cheat on me!” she yelled out suddenly not looking as scared as she was a second ago and once again as angry as she was earlier if not more.

 

Bringing up her hand, Fllay brought it down across Kira's cheek as hard as she could. “How could you possibly do that to me?!” she screamed at Kira who still refused to look at her directly in the eye.

 

“It was that time several months ago when we had that fight and you wouldn't even talk to me anymore,” Kira explained but knew that it would either do nothing or end up just feeding that fire.

 

Fllay's eyes narrowed at him even more if it were possible. “That doesn't give you the right to cheat on me!” she screamed at him before suddenly thinking of something and then calming down. “No, no. You're thinking of it all wrong. You didn't do anything, she's just lying to you,” she said refusing to accept that someone else had Kira's child.

 

“She isn't lying Fllay and it actually happened. I'm not stupid. I had tests done and they prove that she is my daughter!” Kira said extremely annoyed that she just wouldn't face the truth. “Things don't have to change Fllay. I'm not breaking up with you,” he said but knew that it would change either way.

 

His words pissed Fllay off even more as she got directly in his face and yelled out her response. “Are you kidding?! Things have already changed Kira! You cheated on me with someone else and got her pregnant! If you honestly think things will be the same between us then you're horribly wrong!” she yelled at him causing Kira to shrink away in fright.

 

As far as Kira was concerned, the way she was now would scare even the bravest of people. “So what do you think we should do then?” he felt compelled to ask since he honestly had no clue what Fllay was going to do.

 

“What do you think?! Get rid of the little brat!” Fllay yelled since she refused to raise the one thing that would get in the way of her plans. Already every plan she had with Kira was being flushed down the drain and she figured that this would be the only way to fix some of it.

 

“I can't do that Fllay!” Kira yelled finding the entire idea absurd. “That is my daughter! I can't just toss her out! No, I refuse to toss her out! So you can get those ideas out of your head!” Kira continued to yell which ended up startling Fllay because he usually never yelled at her.

 

Regaining her composure, Fllay put a stern look on her face. “Then I guess we're in a real predicament. I refuse to raise someone else's child,” she said as the two of them stared each other down. She saw that Kira wasn't budging from his position. “We've been together for three years Kira. We have plans for the future. Don't let this incident ruin that!”

 

“She is my daughter. She has my blood running through her veins. There is no way that I'm going to just get rid of her,” Kira said clearly upset that Fllay would put him in such a position. He was beginning to wonder if she even had a heart.

 

Seeing the same defiant look in Kira's eyes, Fllay felt that she had only one option left. “Fine then, you left me no choice. You have to choose between me and the brat. I refuse to allow you to have both of us,” she said knowing the thought of losing her would have Kira begging for her to forgive him.

 

That was the final straw for Kira. “Fine then…” he began to say and saw her eyes light up. He knew she was assuming that he'd give up his own family for her. “Get out,” he growled out without the least bit of hesitation.

 

He was finally pushed over the edge. He always tried to ignore all the misgivings he had with Fllay up until that point. He tried to ignore all that she'd done to him since they got together. She always lied to him, used him for her own gain, and she even cheated on him a couple of times.

 

He knew that Fllay wasn't aware of him knowing about her cheating on him. He never did anything though and he blamed himself for that. He always kept thinking that he loved her and that he didn't want to lose her. Right now he was seriously regretting that mistake.

 

Right now he felt like he'd rather never be in a relationship again. He'd have his daughter and that would be enough for him. He didn't want to be with someone with such a cold heart that she'd throw a baby out on the streets because it didn't suit her needs.

 

Fllay couldn't believe that he was really picking some little brat over her. “I can't believe you. I gave you everything you could ever want. Now you're tossing me out for some little brat that should never have existed?!” Fllay screamed as she backed up towards the door. “You'll regret doing this to me. Just watch! I know you'll be begging me to take you back shortly!” Fllay yelled before she completely turned around and ran out the door before Kira could even say a word.

 

***End Flashback***

 

Kira always hated it when he remembered that day yet he always seemed to be thinking about it. For him it was the worst day of his life. Yet at the same time it was almost a blessing. The time that followed it was like something out of a storybook. His daughter brought him so much joy that he was able to move on so easily.

 

Kira dated for one purpose only. That purpose was for finding a mother for his daughter. He eventually gave up when Midori hated every woman he went out with. He didn't see a problem with it though since he felt that he could do just as good a job raising her by himself.

 

Then came the most unexpected factor in Kira's normally very peaceful and tranquil life. He didn't understand what was so different about Lacus compared to all the other women he tried. She seemed to grab not only his but Midori's attention so thoroughly and that troubled him.

 

`Why get involved with someone when it will only bring me more heartache later?' Kira thought for what seemed to be the thousandth time since he met the woman. These were thoughts he did not wish to have though and he wanted nothing but to get rid of them.

 

Kira's eyes drifted to the bright blue sky as he watched the clouds passing from his little bench that he usually spent his lunches. He loved how peaceful it generally was and ended up coming back here over and over to just relax. Midori loved it too whenever he brought her here to play.

 

“Was it your idea to have her lock me up like that?” a voice said making Kira lift his head. He saw his best friend standing there dressed in casual clothes staring at Kira with an accusing look.

 

“I might've had something to do with it but I think she probably would've done it anyways,” Kira said with a slight chuckle. “So how'd you escape? Crawled out through a window?” Kira asked before laughing a little harder.

 

“No. Cagalli's around here. She's been dragging me all over the place,” Athrun said taking a seat next to Kira. “Cagalli's insisting that I take more time off. She started saying that I was becoming more and more like the one thing I never wanted to be, my father,” Athrun said as he ran a hand through his midnight blue hair.

 

“Well there isn't anything wrong with actually taking time off. You would've eventually worked yourself sick if you kept on going like you were. Don't forget that there are some things that you can work on at home. What do you think I've been doing for the past few years?” Kira asked with a smirk remembering how he had little choice most of the time since Midori wouldn't let him leave without a fight.

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Athrun muttered as he too started staring at the sky. “Hey Kira,” he said making Kira look at him. “Do you mind if I pick up Midori today?” he asked making Kira look at him confused. “I actually wanted to talk to Lacus a bit and that seemed like the best way,” Athrun explained quickly.

 

“Planning to cheat on my little sister with Lacus?” Kira asked looking at Athrun with an accusing glare. He was just joking but the mere idea seemed to really bug him a lot more than if it just involved Cagalli.

 

“No!” Athrun yelled before realizing that Kira was joking when the other man started to laugh. “Oh cut it out! I don't think of Lacus like that. If I did then I would've been married to her instead of Cagalli right now,” he said as he started to stare up at the sky again.

 

“Just keep that in mind or I'd have to kill you,” Kira joked again before he stood up. “I don't have a problem with it. Anyways, I better be heading back. If I keep this up then I might be able to start working at home again,” he said before running down the path that headed towards the large office building.

 

Athrun watched Kira run down the sidewalk and let off a sigh. “This better work Cagalli otherwise we're going to have a very angry Kira on our hands,” Athrun told no one until the familiar blonde appeared out of some bushes.

 

“Well he is a bit stubborn so we need to do whatever we can. You know that he's not going to do anything if we leave this alone. Fllay's still trying to get him back and that worries me. I don't want him to have anything to do with that woman anymore and this is the best way,” Cagalli said with a smirk at the thought of the idea that she had overnight.

 

“Are you doing this to keep Kira away from Fllay or to get Midori a mother?” Athrun couldn't help but ask since he wasn't even sure what Cagalli's intentions actually were at that moment.

 

“Um… both?” Cagalli asked while laughing a little. “If it gets rid of Fllay then that's one thing but the way you described her and the way Kira acts when she's discussed makes me think she'd be perfect for him. Now just follow the plan,” Cagalli said before turning and walking away.

 

Athrun sighed as he watched his wife walking away. He thought it might be better to just leave the two of them be. It seemed like they got along just fine so he figured that it would probably happen anyways whether they interfered or not.

 

*****

 

As Kira exited the park, he started to head towards his office. He tried his best not to think about anything because that usually led to memories or thoughts that he didn't want to have to deal with. It had been happening a lot that day and not just about the normal memories that he was used to having.

 

Turning a corner, Kira stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the ever familiar head of red hair that belonged to none other than his ex-girlfriend Fllay Allster. The familiar feelings of regret and also anger welled up within him as she stared at him with her normal seductive smile.

 

“Why Kira, what a surprise to see you,” Fllay said as she approached him. What she didn't want him to know was that she had basically been waiting for him since she knew he liked to come here when he got some free time while working.

 

“Nothing's ever a coincidence with you Fllay. I know you've been waiting for me,” Kira stated from the experience he'd had with her in the past. Her smile faded and he knew that he hit the mark dead on. “I told you before that it's over. You couldn't accept my daughter so I see no reason why we should even be together,” Kira said before taking in a deep breath.

 

“I know you keep saying that but I also know that you don't mean it,” Fllay spoke softly as she approached him. “I'm sorry but I just overreacted then. You threw it upon me way too quickly. I know we can still work this out,” Fllay said grabbing onto Kira's arm.

 

“We could if you actually meant it,” Kira said making Fllay let go of his arm and look at him in a way that would make normally people think she actually felt insulted by his words. “I'm well aware that you still want me to get rid of Midori and that isn't going to be possible,” Kira said before trying to walk away.

 

Although Fllay knew that was true she felt that she had to wait till she had him back before doing anything. “That's not true. I wasn't ready then but I am now. We can all be a family Kira,” she said hating how she had to resort to this but Kira really wasn't leaving her any choice. `Yeah just you and me since I'll send the brat as far away as possible!' she thought while she was mentally grinning at the thought. She then grabbed his arm again and hung onto it tighter than before.

 

“I'm sorry but I just don't think I can believe you right now. You just don't seem all that sincere about it Fllay,” Kira said carefully pulling his arm out of the tight embrace that she had on it.

 

“But that's not true! I told you that I know I made a mistake. I wish you'd forgive me for that already! We loved each other Kira! We had a bond that I know could never be broken. I can still see that in your eyes!” she yelled trying to get him to look at her once again but he seemed to be avoiding it.

 

Deciding to take the initiative, Fllay grabbed Kira's face and made him look at her but almost immediately she could tell that something was seriously wrong. `What's going on, that's impossible!' she thought as she stared into his eyes as deeply as he could as if trying to read all of his secrets.

 

“I told you before that I don't feel that way about you anymore Fllay,” Kira said grabbing her wrist to pull it away from his face. “I need to get going so please quit following me,” Kira said as he continued his trek to the office he owned.

 

Fllay watched him leave with distain in her eyes. She couldn't get the image she saw when he looked at her out of her head. Normally his eyes showed everything. When she visited him two weeks ago she had seen the look in his eyes that clearly said that he still cared deeply for her.

 

`What could possibly happen in two weeks to do that? Why is it that he can no longer look at me with those eyes that clearly said that he still loves me?' she asked herself after seeing that the love was gone almost like it never even existed in the first place. `Who did this to you Kira? Who took that look from your eyes away?'