Gundam SEED Fan Fiction ❯ Chaotic Outbreak Infinite Energy ❯ Lightning Chapter 5 Spiral of Encounters Part 1 ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5 Spiral of Encounters Part 1

 

Once again Brett and Asagi found themselves in space; the plan was to stop at Copernicus and plan ahead for the next move. Brett was still fixed on aiding every one of his friends in this upcoming battle, but Asagi was worried about him. The ever changing future made it impossible for him to turn a blind eye to this battle. If Chairman Durandal had his way; then the future that he had dreamed for Asagi and himself could not possibly exist.

 

In the eating area, a small group composed of Asagi, Brett, Meyrin, and Mir all found them selves talking and conversing. Brett was trying to get him self ready for the upcoming battles, but then Meyrin said something that snapped Brett away from his thought. “I cannot believe the Alliance; firing at the plants… just what are they thinking; do they want to be hated forever or something!”

 

A small chuckle came from Brett before responding to Meyrin's words; “this is not the Alliances fault… we start blaming them, and we will just go down a path that is all about extermination. This war is over; with Logos possibly exterminated; there should be no reason for anything else, but now here we are… going to war…” Asagi sighed at Brett's rather depressing statement; “yes Brett you are right… but still all those people died out there. There is no excuse for that…”

 

Meyrin's face quickly became angry about Brett not just simply agreeing with her. “Excuse me Brett… but this is horrible! How are people ever suppose to forget about this; this is a huge tragedy!” Brett nodded in accordance to Meyrin's statement, and immediately started to reaffirm his ideas. “I agree Meyrin, but the last war was far worse, and it lasted far longer.”

 

“Right now things are bad because of all these attacks, but they are nothing to what happened during the first war. The last war was worse, so much worse… The last was war was about extermination, and neither side would have anything less. Those were horrid days; I never had enough power to do anything real. But now; this upcoming fight feels somehow easier; even if it is only because it is not about total extermination for the moment…”

 

There was nothing that Meyrin or Mir could say in response, but Asagi was only thinking about the end of the war. Slowly she slid over next to Brett and burrowed her head into his shoulder. “I just want this war to end… then Brett and I can live in peace and tranquility together. That is the only thing I want… oh and to get married! Then I will finally have what I have wanted ever since I met him…”

 

Giggles came from across the table form Mir and Meyrin at the signs of affection; Brett was blushing ever so slightly, and Asagi loved him when he was embarrassed. Meyrin stopped and felt her curiosity peeking about there future; “so Brett what are you going to do for work? I mean you probably have no cash right so what you gonna do…? You got to provide for that future wife of yours…”

 

Brett suddenly blushed even fiercer; “umm… well you see… when I worked for Orb I kind of got a huge bank roll… and well it was kept safe by Cagalli and she gave me my wallet back so I was planning on taking Asagi shopping when we get to Copernicus. I think it would just be nice to do something other then fighting.” All the girls were shocked, and Mir was so excited; “so your rich! You have to take me shopping with you, and you have to buy her a ring too of course.”

 

Asagi was ecstatic over the idea, and it was not long before Brett agreed to take Mir with him. Meyrin was in aw over how sweet Brett was to Asagi; Asagi was so happy with Brett and wanted to show him. “After the war I just want to relax with Brett; I don't want to lift a finger for a long time…” Brett smiled at Asagi; “don't worry Asagi; after the war I'm all yours. I will make enough for both us, and I will make certain you have the perfect life; not like there won't be a ton of work after the war anyway, right?”

 

A giggle came from Meyrin who was watching this display of deep love; “aw… I love how much you too are in love! You two are so cute and Brett must be such a great boyfriend or I guess an engaged couple now. I've heard all about you from Mir and Cagalli; they told me all about your battles with Athrun and Kira. You sound so awesome; I mean that time you were in space you actually out preformed the Justice in Astray!”

 

Upon hearing such praise; Brett's face was as red as Meyrin's top. “I don't think I really out preformed them per say… Everyone tends to exaggerate about my accomplishments… I have never seen myself as being that good of a pilot. I probably should have been shot down many times by now.”

 

Those words quickly came upon Mir's idea of Brett being modest again; a trait she thought he would be better without. “Oh common Brett… I was there and watched almost every move you made. You should not sell yourself short… also if I did such a bad job of telling the story; why don't you tell us how it went!”

 

Mir sounded only slightly aggravated, but Brett knew they still had a while before Copernicus. “Fine; we had just gotten to space… and Cagalli was not good after the death of lord Uzumi…”

 

Compartments of the Kusanagi had just been reconfigured into a full and complete battleship version of the ship. Athrun and Kira docked their mobile suits onboard the Kusanagi, and wanted to see how Cagalli was faring with the events. Athrun and Kira were directed down the halls to Cagalli's room. Inside Brett was already in there beside her on the bed. She was crying uncontrollably, and Brett had his arm around his friends shoulder trying to comfort her.

 

Cagalli looked up to see Kira and jumped away from the bed into Kira's arms, and immediately started to cry on his shoulder. Brett quickly realized this was a cue to leave, and he was quick to push away and head to the door. He only nodded to Kira and Athrun once as a sign that he was leaving her in their care. After the nod he was quick to look away; he felt completely out of place, and knew that Cagalli needed to be with them more then him.

 

Athrun was unsure about letting Brett just go; quickly he decided to follow Brett out into the hallway. “Hey Brett; where are you going…? I thought you and Cagalli were longtime friends so why are you just leaving her?”

 

Brett's hand moved up and against the wall stopping him from floating into it. All he could do was turn and shake his head. “Cagalli has you two to look after her; she doesn't need me… we have never been really that close anyways. There is plenty of work to be done, and I should probably get to work. I have done enough of waiting around pretending to be injured anyways…”

 

“Common Brett; Cagalli has told me how important of a friend you are, and I think she still wants you to be there… and don't even try to say your injuries are not real.”

 

The pause that followed in between Athrun's sentence was long. Brett just was having too many problems supporting his own burdens. His weakness in the last few fights. Being the most important. “No Athrun… Cagalli and I are not that close anymore; she has been angry at me for everything I have done. You just take care of her for me; because I don't think I can protect anyone anymore. People will end up dying if they are close to me.”

 

The words that had come out of Brett's mouth sounded more aggravated then before, and Athrun was quick to figure Brett had his own problems. “Okay; well I'll just tell Cagalli that you had some things to do… but just so you know you were pretty impressive out there today. I mean considering you were piloting an Astray, and injured; you really are a great pilot. So just try and take it easy on yourself and get some rest…”

 

No sooner did Athrun go back into the room with Cagalli and Kira; did Brett start grasping his side in pain from the tear on his body. The last battle was still weighing heavy on his mind; especially his failure. Never did he imagine himself so useless against his enemies, and after one battle he was barely able to stand. Not one solution came to mind, but even weak; he was able to do the basics, and the weightlessness seamed to make it easier.

 

That last battle was an embarrassment to Brett; he had lost pilots despite his best efforts, and Asagi and the others were so tired after wards. Staring at the wall; Brett quickly came to realization of how useless he was. If he did not prepare to his best, and fight with all his strength then he might lose more of his team. Even his best intentions could not change how tired he was though, or how much he wanted just to be with Asagi. The choices ahead were looking to be some of his hardest yet, but no matter what he had to improve.

 

Plenty of things were starting to come across is mind; still Brett wondered how he could continue as a commander. His first two battles ever, and the only way he could see them was as a complete failure that would be impossible to live down. Never had he acted like a commander, and now people had died from his failure. The thoughts weighed heavy on his mind, and Brett was wondering if he should be a commander anymore. “Brett…?”

 

The voice did not even rouse Brett enough for him to turn his head; he already knew it was Asagi. “Brett…? Are you feeling okay…?” Nothing was registering properly with Brett, and he could only answer the question he thought was answered. “Cagalli is fine Asagi… she just needs some time with Kira and Athrun…”

 

“Brett… I asked how you were…” Asagi continued slowly floated towards Brett; she was completely concerned with how much in pain Brett was. Brett looked up and turned in time to catch and slow Asagi down, and it was clear that she was extremely worried about him. The two floated slowly down the hall together, and Asagi knew Brett was in trouble. “I'm just a little stressed Asagi… I just need some time alone to think about what I'm doing.”

 

Asagi was still very concerned, but she did not want to get in Brett's way. She nodded before Brett left down the hall away from her. Juri and Mayura were spying from around the corner, and Mayura was so incredibly upset with how Brett had just pushed Asagi away. Mayura pulled her self along the hallway till she reached Asagi and stopped beside her; with Juri following close behind. “How can Brett just do that to you…? He is supposed to be your boyfriend after all, and he is acting like this!”

 

Mayura's words were harsh, but Juri could not help but throw her own opinion. “The commander had always been hard on himself, and those last battles we lost Astray pilots, so he is probably having trouble with that.” Asagi continued to stare down the hall like Brett was coming back; “he is under a lot of stress and he just needs some time. It's okay; I'll just hang out with you two… it would be nice to just hang out with you two anyways.”

 

The three started off the other way, but Mayura still wanted to talk with Brett about what he was doing to everyone. Asagi to wanted to talk, but it was obvious even she could get no where with Brett. He was to upset too even listen or think right, and his mental state was becoming more volatile.

 

First he went off to the mobile suit bay to work on the programming. The lack of sleep made it hard to focus, but Brett kept his focus up. He was already over worked, and it was showing when he ordered workers out of his way. Everything would be attended to by Brett himself, and anything he worked on was not to be touched by anyone for any reason. It was nice to be so focused even with the bags under his eyes, but then came a worker with a message for Brett. “Sir; Lady Cagalli is looking for you, and she wants to talk to you now.”

 

Brett stopped working and turned to the worker with a look that was very serious. He looked tired, but that did not stop Brett from talking back with attitude. “I'm in no mood to be disturbed; so leave me alone right now. If Cagalli wants to talk to me then she can come find me.”

 

The soldier was not happy with the tone, and grabbed Brett's arm with a forceful grip. “I have been ordered to escort you to her sir…”

 

Immediately Brett broke the grip and went back to work, and this time spoke without even looking at the soldier. “I told you if she wants to speak then she can come find me… If I'm not in trouble then leave me alone; I have work to be done.”

 

The soldier took a deep breath and sighed; Brett still held some wait, and Cagalli had given no orders to forcibly take him. The guard turned and left, but it was not long before Brett finished up and left the area well before Cagalli could arrive. He still had no intention of being with anyone. Maybe being isolated would help him feel better, and it just made sense to him.

 

Cagalli was instantly furious when she heard what Brett had said, and would not stand for this. When she arrived at the mobile suit storage; he had long since left without a trace of where to. It was like chasing a ghost, and Cagalli was just finding herself getting angrier every place she looked that he was not there. Not even Asagi had spoken to him in hours, the whole thing making Cagalli angry with rage while she continued her search.

 

Brett had already made it to the exercising area; what little gravity that was available made it nearly impossible to work out in the conventional way. Brett was hard at work; the pedal bike that was made for work on arms was on its highest setting, but Brett did not find it at all satisfactory to his needs. Somehow his strength was endless despite the lack of sleep.

 

Always he wanted more of a challenge; he had to be ready for everything that was coming at him. Lack of sleep or not; even the lack of energy was not deterring him from continuing to become stronger. He had to; if he failed any of the girls then he could never live with himself. The settings were all maxed, and the struggle to even turn the pedal once was beyond imagination, but still he pushed through.

 

Sweat continued to build, and soon Brett was pushing against a stalled pedal. He stooped finally; completely out of breath and so tired but unable to sleep even a little. He just started to relaxed just when Cagalli entered the room in huff and not ready to take any garbage from him. “Why the hell aren't you with Asagi right now…? I mean you almost get yourself killed and then you just push her and me away! And why the hell did you leave me and tell Athrun that you and I are not even good friends! You can't just keep working yourself this hard; I mean how stupid are you!”

 

“I can't stop Cagalli; I just can't…okay!!! I can't handle all of this… everyone says I'm so great but I'm not! I let people die out there in those last battles, and it is not going to happen again! I have to be strong; everyone else looks to me like some kind of role model, but I'm not! I'm absolutely nothing special… and I'm about the worst possible commander that he could have picked. I have not slept in days, and I'm tired of all the go damned stupid bullshit from all of you!!!” Those words were more then a slap in the face to Cagalli and she would not stand for it; “don't you dare even think about quitting the job my father gave for you, and how dare say that!”

 

“I can't do it Cagalli; I just cannot handle all of this. I cannot keep living up to everyone's expectations, but I have to! What's more I have to be cheery even when I'm going beyond it for all of you… I hate everything and everyone!!!” Cagalli was still mad, but was starting to realize that a lot of pressure had been laid down upon Brett. “Cagalli… Lord Uzumi was like a father to me; so I cannot just quit, but there is so many other things. I have to keep all the Astrays up to date; I can't let anyone die and I have to keep pushing my self to my limits! I just am losing my mind, and every time I close my eyes; I'm haunted by things that could happen.”

 

Suddenly Brett just stopped and could not say anything else even when he tried; he had realized how wrong it was to be blaming Cagalli for any of his problems. “I'm sorry Cagalli… I'm so sorry I let it get this bad… but I'm going to go insane at this rate, but I won't let myself stop.” Cagalli pushed off the door and went over beside Brett; she was now realizing Brett had been hit hard by her father's death, and now she needed to help Brett. “Brett… I'm sorry I never thought that you were that stressed… it may be my fault that I never realized how hard you have been working.”

 

Shaking his head; Brett quickly denied any negative implications from Cagalli. “No Cagalli it is not your fault; I just cannot handle everything I have to do. I have to do so much, and I know I should be with Asagi, and I want to, but… I just cannot fail everyone again. I was useless out there… no I should not be blaming anyone. I just need to keep going, and die when everyone is safe. Who cares about me so long as everyone else survives.”

 

Cagalli pushed off the exercise equipment over to grab Brett's water; she brought it back with her to Brett and forced him to drink. “Brett you need to take it easy… not one of the Astray pilots consider you to be a failure. You were a great commander and you did your best; if you had not been there more people would have died… I know you have to do a lot, but you have to figure out your own priorities. However I want you to slow down, and try to get some sleep… and also to stop thinking about that. Killing yourself will just make things worse.”

 

“I would gladly kill my self to keep all of you alive and end this war… One life is worthless compared to how many I would save. It would all be worth it to give my life; seems like my life is only here to keep people alive anyway.”

 

Another fierce palm hit Brett in his cheek with a resounding slapping sound. Cagalli was almost in tears from hearing her friend giving up on life, but it was not just because of the fact that he was her friend. “How could you say that; everyone here has something they are fighting for and so do you. What about Asagi; you just don't get how much she loves you… I wish you could understand how much she loves you. Please don't do anything stupid because; because the last thing I want right now is for you to leave me. I think you should think about if you even love us, you have to figure your own priorities.”

 

“I know Cagalli, and I should have Asagi at the top of my, but my responsibilities to everyone else. How can I risk people's lives over my own selfish ambitions? The Astray pilots; I cannot just throw away there lives… I know they think I'm useless; I failed them.” Cagalli looked on him still sitting down completely exhausted, but just as mad at him. “You're such an idiot Brett…! After the first battle every last one of the Astray pilots came to visit you, and all of them still think of you as being a legend.”

 

“I'm no legend Cagalli… I just had a little luck, but what should I do Cagalli? I have no clue any more…” Cagalli was still upset, but she realized that Brett needed guidance or something bad might happen to him. “Brett… you know you have to pick how you want to live. You were always like a brother to me, and I'm sorry I have not been looking out for you, but what do you want…”

 

“I cannot even think straight; I just feel so wiped out, and my mind is killing me.” Cagalli was amazed at how stubborn he was, but she knew that he was becoming calmer and more suggestive. “Listen… you come with me to the meeting, and afterwards you go with Asagi and get some rest okay. If you can't sleep then I will make sure you are prescribed some medicine… Then you can worry about everything else later… okay Brett, you disserve happiness like everyone else.”

 

Reluctantly Brett agreed, and Cagalli helped him up and to the bridge where everyone else had already arrived. The plan was laid down already and they were heading to the Mendel colony where they would re-supply and prepare for the long haul. Asagi was right beside Brett with the other girls standing around Brett. Brett had already whispered that he wanted to rest after this, and Asagi told him how they would find a room later. Brett had very little input on the meeting since he already had enough concerns. and his eye lids were so heavy, and it pained him to keep them open.

 

“So you two were with Zaft; you going to have any problems fighting against Zaft. You know that you may have to do that in the future right…?” Mu's question made Brett wake up and wonder if he was on the right path. The world was in total chaos, and he wondered how he could possibly make a difference in this world. Nothing seemed enough for this world, and how could one person change or even stop a war of this magnitude.

 

“And what about you young man; you going to go out there and keep trying to out do even Kira? Cause last time it almost got you killed…” Brett looked up and snapped out of his daze to see Mu finish asking his question. There was not a single answer he could possibly give that would have been acceptable, and Brett was just trying to stay awake to avoid the nightmares that came with each second that his eyes were closed. Erica looked at Brett who was speechless and decided to answer for him. “You will have to excuse Brett; he has been under a lot of stress, but he is only trying his best.”

 

“Hey I have no problems with this guy; he actually reminds me of me a little… trying to make the impossible possible!” Brett still stood there quiet as the grave; Murrue poked him for how insensitive Mu was being. Everyone had heard about how troubled he was, and how badly he had been hurt. “I know what I did was foolish, but I will continue to improve for everyone's sake. I'm not going to hold back no matter how hard it is. I don't want anyone to die, and I will become good enough to stop that from happening! That is what I believe, but I no longer think that I could ever accomplish this by myself.”

 

“Well that's a good attitude and all, but don't end up getting killed over something like that. Your asking a lot, and I don't think that the young lady attached to you arm there is interested in you dying. You look pretty tired; are you even getting sleep?” Brett looked over to see Asagi was indeed had her arms wrapped around his. “I know and I need to be with Asagi too; but don't get me wrong… I have no intention of dying, but doing anything less then my best… well I just could not live with that.”

 

“Well… Athrun is strong minded unlike Kira, and you are just as idealistic as Kira… but I suppose that is a good attitude to have; so long as you do not die too. Now could you answer me if you have been sleeping?” Brett turned his head just slightly away; “I don't think I'm like Kira. Kira is a much better person then I am; I barely lasted my first battle, and ever since then I have failed at other things. No; I'm not like Kira… I could never even hope to be like him.”

 

Everyone wanted to protest to such a statement; Brett was a good person and a strong pilot, but never accepted praise. Erica looked at him and sighed; “Asagi, Mayura, Juri…” They all turned there attention to Erica and acknowledged her; “I want the three of you to take Brett to one of the larger class rooms and make sure he gets sleep; including all of you. You four will go on shift later, but for now Brett needs his rest and you all know how stubborn he can be.”

 

The girls all escorted Brett out and off for all of them to get some sleep; no one had really had any rest since they left Orb, and now seemed like a good time. “Poor kid; must be hard to live with yourself when you have such high expectations for yourself. You know he must have not gotten any sleep in days right?” Erica nodded; “yes Mu… but I do not think you have to worry about Brett. He has always been like this and he will be fine; I will make sure he gets rest before he does anything else.”

 

“You sure put a lot of trust in that young man, but I would prefer to fight with him at my side because of how amazing he was. I mean he pushed himself beyond what I thought would have been capable in a machine like that, but what ever… just glad he is on our side.” Mu's voice had just enough attitude like usual; the meeting was adjourned, but Erica stopped Mu and Murrue to talk to them for a brief moment.

 

“Listen; Lord Uzumi raised Brett, and considered him like the son since he never had, and he asked me to make sure he was alright once he was gone. I'm trying to make sure that those girls are like his family and that they are a team, but I have to ask you a favor… please look after them; Brett pushes himself to hard, and I would rather not see him end up dead, and if the girls die then Brett may be pushed over the edge.” Mu nodded quickly; “I understand, and I will try my best to look out for him; even though that last fight he outshined me.”

 

“Yes he is like that, but he needs to learn that there is only so much he can do. At least he has Asagi in his life; those two have been dancing around each other for years.” Mu laughed at what Erica had just said; “so you too consider him like a son do you? Well I have no problem looking out for him; if he is in trouble I will definitely help.” Erica was still just smiling; “Yes I care for him like a son even though I have my own, but still I know he is not.”

 

The room that had been prepared for the lead Astray girls and the commander was larger then most of the others. Four beds were in the room, and there were desks and fixtures fro each of them. Each were getting the idea that they were being treated slightly better then the rest, but the girls did not mind. This kind of treatment was appreciated, and each of the girls found a spot, and each person in the room was exhausted.

 

Asagi helped Brett into the bed, and soon he was relaxing for the first time since they had gotten into space. Asagi was still feeling isolated from Brett since earlier, but then Brett spoke up. “Asagi; I'm sorry for how I was earlier, but do you want to sleep with me. Maybe I can sleep if you are beside me…” Mayura laughed and commented on how it was finally time for him to start acting like a boyfriend; even if this was a large step.

 

Not a second passed though between Brett's question and Asagi's answer; she was beside herself and so happy that she was getting this chance. Asagi quickly took off her jacket and pushed off the desk right into Brett's arms. She had only her green tank top on, and Brett was a little embarrassed. Asagi was just giggling at his embarrassment, and Mayura was laughing her head off at Brett not being able to do this with ought getting embarrassed.

 

Juri was enjoying the display of romance; she was quick to tell Mayura to shut up, but the group was becoming close. Brett felt that for once he could relax, and he was starting to even forget about the war. All he wanted to do was spend time with Asagi, and now here they were in the same bed. Asagi turned her back to his front, and she brought his right arm over top and into her hands.

 

The position was weird to Brett, but being so close to Asagi was all her really cared about. Soon all of them were sleeping peacefully; not one making any sound. Both battles still had left everyone tired and wiped out. It would be many hours before they reached the Mendel colony, and it was still five hours before their shifts. Asagi was so happy to have her dream guy in her life, and she was not going to let him go.